ITT: We go grocery shopping

I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

*cart wheels squeaking*

*people in front of you walk excruciatingly slow and take up entire aisle, blocking tendies*

kids touch everything in the fucking store

"Where is the bran?"

>I don't work here old, old man

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HAHA I GO ON A MURDERING SPREE IN THE MILK AISLE, GAT GAT MILLIONS ARE DEAD.

A fucking duck shows up!

>>729313031

Walk around them and then cut very sharply in front of them. Do not slow down. Do not say anything.
Do the same in your car with people who walk between rows in the parking lot without looking or walk in the middle of the road.

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>>729313324
this duck?

>>729312566
*pulling hard to the righ, while wobbling hardt*

Standing up not deciding what to buy
>inb4 im a grill

>>729313294
Clean up on aisle 5 bring a mop

>>729313704
apparently im too drunk to notice my horrible spelling

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>>729313294
>single milk aisle
>millions dead

>>729313704
*Crashes in to the pickle jars*
Every fucking time!

>>729312040

>pick up bag of lentils in the bean aisle
>Find cheaper bag in east indian aisle
>go back to bean aisle to compare weights and prices.
>Go with first bag because more volume/bag
>Come across lentils in the wholesale aisle for even cheaper/pound
>Fill bag with cheap shit.
>Realize the wholesale bins are probably super dirty.
>empty bag back into wholesale box
>Go back to first bag of lentils in bean aisle....

>walks on only the white tiles while staying off of the black tiles

>>729314161
the black tiles deserve to be stepped on

>>729313606
I hope

>needs to poo
>buys ton of prunes
>start snacking before the checkout

*hopping around like smeagul* must have Mac and cheese my precious hehehehe

>grabs a bag of grapes
>eats grapes while shopping
>puts half-picked grapes behind the shampoo section

>>729312040
I need a price check on monistat yeast infection medication

>>729314037
Welcome autistfriend.

>>729314359
>eat half finished grapes found in shampoo aisle

>strolls into frozen foods section
>glances around

>>729314660
>East half finished shampoo found in grape aisle.

>stares too long at the 9yr old who is bending over to pick up her toy.
>>729314354

>>729314899
Sarah stay away from that creepy autist

>walk into feminine products
>Grab tampons
>Walk to Mac n cheese aisle
>Place tampons two boxes behind Kraft box
>Continue shopping normally

>>729315040
*smiles at mother, then looks down at the floor while rushing away*

>>729315206
Sir you left your cart full of Saran Wrap and suppository laxatives!

>>729315177
epic prank bro!!!!!!!!!

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>sniffs bananas inappropriately

>go over to hunting aisle
>take very large knife out of package
>walk to toy aisle
>stick knife in with toy knifes
>wait for one of those little brats that hits people with toy weapons when they go through the aisle

>>729315908
"Tyrone what are you doing with the bananas? Get back to mopping."

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>>729316075
I'm on my lunch break!

>go into bathroom
>vomit on toilet
>piss on floor
>pull sharpie out of pooper
>write op is a fag on wall
>stroll out whistling happy birthday song

>"Hi welcome to /b/mart"

>>729316299
IMPLYING I GIVE A SHIT, YOU LITERAL OOGA BOOGA? TAKE THAT FUCKING DILDO WITH A WIG AND MOP THIS SHIT UP.

>spend the whole time leering at the lolis with the short shorts

>>729316415
Fuck off, normalfag. Where's the traps?

>>729316520
>throws mop kicks over mop bucket
>start pissing on the avocados
>maintain eye contact
>to assert dominance

>walks up to bulk items bins
>opens all of them
>tell manager that Tyrone did in and there's no need to check security cams because I'm white and we don't lie when it comes to niggers doing shit like that

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>>729317059
>rapes your childen to maintain my dominance
>mfw

>>729317339
>escorted out of store by security
> screaming and flailing niggeredly
>I dindu nuffin!

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>burning anus here i come

>>729312040
That's Wegmans.

>>729317814
>"Sorry dude, white people can't handle spicy food. Can't sell this shit to you."

>>729312040
Have sex in the bathroom

>>729314223
This post deserves trips

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>>729317791
>waits outside until the end of your shift
>murders you

"Wrong store or wrong day, can't tell. I just wanted some fish sticks and pancakes."