hello i am autistic and i need help responding to a girl. im

Happy birthday OP. How old are you now? Also, how do you know this girl?

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You already doomed yourself with that gay emoji. All hope is lost.

Keep talking to her anon it means something

>>728917471
Just do some small talk faggot.

"So what have you been up to?" or something like that...

keep smalltalking for a few days or weeks, if she responds often and fast, eventually you ask her out.

>>728917471
>Long time no talk
Already failed

>>728917471
Let's break that distance! :) and hah, I better be welcome! What type of birthday would it be if I wasnt?!

Send her that OP. Trust me, I'm a Chad psychologist.

>>728917744

This. There's nothing else to do than this.

Pretend it's a regular chat. Ask questions. Try to have a good time.

1. Don't respond until tomorrow so it seems like you have a life.

2. Ask her some questions about herself, get her talking about things she's genuinely passionate about so that she associates those positive emotions with you.

3. After a little bit of this, invite her to do something with you casual and fun. Don't make it weird, just be blunt about the invitation. When spending time with her remain detached, but demonstrate interest in her.

Also, stop using emojis and stop putting bitches on a pedestal. They're a waste of your time at best.

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>>728917471
So where is my present?

send this

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>>728918111
Trips always says the truth

Well now just hold on a second how come her name is "Maybe: robin"

The fuck does the maybe mean? Are you not sure if it's Robin?? Do you think it could be someone else but just might be her?

>>728918444
checked OP answer please

>>728918444
no you gaylord when i get a text from a new number it says who they could be
i used to talk to this girl a bunch but then i deleted her number
clearly you own an android

>>728918444
He did say he's autistic

>>728918233
Dubs confirms trips

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>>728917471
Doin better than me. They dont even reply when i wish them a happy birthday.

>>728918587
I may own an android but you're the only robot around here autismo

Hurry and reply OP you'll seem autistic!

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did i fuck up

>>728920045
"and yes its been too long, as you said, maybe we should go out some time?"

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OH SHIT

>>728920045
Not at all dude...why are you si unconfident...you are doing great...just continue the conversation

>>728920451
Say "u tryna nextflix and chill and catch up?"

>>728918444
Chill he's autistic bro that is normal behavior for a spaz

>>728920451
say 'yeah there is! Maybe we should meet up and catch up?'

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>>728917471
Happy birthday nigga I hope you score some punani

>>728920451
"I'll help you catch up if you help me catch up. I bet you've grown a lot, like I have too!"

>>728920451
>>728920451
Wanna grab a coffee and catch up sometime?

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>>728920693
this

>>728920693
this is the only reasonable response don't fuck this up

>>728920693
the only non autistic option, literally.

really wanna do 'inset anything here' and catch up will work. Worst she can say is no, just do it.

>>728918996
>Telling people to go harass you
You should press charges that's illegal for her to do

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>>728920451
>>728920693

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>>728920451
holy shit, that is the closest a girl can get to "i want you"
because we all know those bitches can't be clear what they want

>>728917471
dont fucking come here for advice, what are you doing. that was your first mistake. its cliche yet simple: be yourself. try not to give a fuck.

>>728917718
shut the fuck up, retard. studies have shown women dont judge men for using emoticons/emojis as long as its not excessive.

>>728917471
Tanner Rhodes posting on 4chan, shocker.

SHE'S POURING HER OUT TO ME TELLING ME EVERYTHING HAS SUCKED IN HER LIFE RECENTLY

THANK YOU GUYS VERY MUCH I'LL TRY MY BEST TO NOT FUCK THIS UP
i would post pics but she's talking about personal shit

>>728920451
ok, so youre doing alright so far. just cut back a little on the fakey enthusiasm, faggot. be sparing with the emjois/emoticons, and use less exclamation marks.

Alright OP its your lucky day. I, the capt poon swoon is now present.

You actually have a decent chance with this gal she is showing interest. Now hopefully its not because you are so autistic that she feels sorry for you.

Other anons are right this, need to offer to meet up and catch up. Either ask right now or wait a few more messages. You catch up too much via text before the date is establish there is no reason to meet up.

Coffee is boring get a beer. Better yet just offer getting together to meet up. This could get her over to you place or vice versa.

Couple questions op,
How old are you? And her?
What is your living situation?

-Capt poon swoon

>>728920451
ask her to meet up and catch up, faggot.

>>728921479
A chance? of what? its an old friend thats just saying hi. Just because she sent a message doesnt mean shes fallen ion love and wants to fuck him.

>>728921360
You better post some pics you autistic faggot

>>728921479
kek, shut the fuck up.

careful, you're teetering close to the friendzone pal

>>728921208
lol what studies?

>>728921360
Op no.
You are severely autistic.
Let me help. Personal stories are useless if we do not know the gal.
You made the thread now post it.

>>728921360
In my experience people only tell people this shit if they have no interest in being romantic with them, but I could be wrong

if you havent sent a dick pic yet you have blown it

>>728920451
ASK HER OUT FOR A DRINK YOU FUCKING BETA SHIT

>>728921589
Virgin alert.
You have been friendzoned your entire life. The rest of us dont want to be like you. Op came here for more than friendship so fuck off.

-capt poon swoon
>>728921595
Btw another virgin

>>728918111
Nice trips, but respond OP. This waiting game bullshit is exaggerated. Yes make it look like you have a life but also make it look like you are using that time to talk to her because you enjoy it.

>>728918002
Jesus christ thats friendzone material

>>728918002
Absolutely do not send this unless you want to come off as a total faggot

>>728921360
Post pictures OP. Don't be a faggot.
We don't know her or doesn't matter.

>>728921793
Capt poon swoon here.
So op is a faggot right now while i am in the thread feel free to ask questions. Glad to help.

-capt poon swoon

>>728921360
Idk its still a 50/50
Rando grils usually only dump their emotional shit on you when they dont give a shit about what you think of them.

>>728920693
Fucking sad that 4chan has to help you maintain a normal conversation.
But rolling for this

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bumping for interest..

Op bailed. Too much normie shit for his brain to handle.

OP she wants meet up! Just keep it there and ask her for coffee or lunch and take it from there over text! Dont throw yourself in there just yet. Wait for the meet up and talk then..

>>728922081
hi captain poon swoon! i have a problem: im not great with girls so i have to ask random faggots on the internet. how is it you have any expertise on this when youre a fat virgin neckbeard who thinks trench coats and fedoras are top of the line fashion? can you really help me??

post pics op

>>728923023
hes gone you stupid nigger.

oka neckbeard

>>728921360
Post pics of the personal shit you fucking beta pussy. fuck you

>>728922931
Ahhhhhhhh a poon swoon request.
Here's the thing i could tell you my height weight build and everything but you wouldn't believe me anyways. But whats more important and the lesson for you today is. Appearance doesn't matter. That you feel that is the only thing that matters proves you need some lessons for capt poon swoon.
Looks are for high school girls. Women are into much more than that. Any man can bag any woman he wants if all the proper steps are taken.

>>728923282
Forgot my tag
-capt poon swoon

>>728917471
Tell her a really bad birthday joke

>>728923282
Fedorafag detected

>>728923352
kys

Op don't use !!!!!!! This so much

>>728923501
See i could tell you i have never owned a fedora or trenchcoat but doesn't matter you won't believe me. You are weak and jealous of the poon swoon. Let me help with your life. You are unfulfilled i can tell. Otherwise attempted insults just make you appear more autistic.

I think he's too busy fuckin now thanks to capt poon swoon

>>728923832
Forgot tag again
-capt poon swoon

Totally ! We should hang out sometime, how about tomorrow 6pm ?

>>728923849
This post is capt poon swoon approved. Poon swoon could get you all off this board and get you into some sweet puss

-capt poon swoon

>>728923282
>appearance doesnt matter

so you are a fat neckbeard who wears fedoras and trench coats, kek.

fake and gay

>>728923808
do you know what those are called, retard?

>>728924007
Ahhh weakness again. This doesn't bother me. I am far from that. What poon swoon is saying is for you guys here who maybe are lacking the self confidence over looks. I was blessed by the poon gods with my looks. A smile that could make your mother gush.
Lets talk about you. Why do you feel attacked and act defensive towards a man trying to help out his fellow bros. What happened to you to make you feel and act this way.

-capt poon swoon

>>728923282
airmax

>>728924386
Huh?

>>728917471
why dont you tell her that then? tell her you're normal around girls but she makes you spaghetti everywhere, then invite her over for a meatball sandwich, bring a friend, fuck her together, spaghetti sauce everywhere, meatballs for life, parmesan cheese in her garlic bread yknow?

>>728924311
pull back on the trying a bit bro, you were almost convincing.

>>728924979
kek, why are these stupid faggots still coming in here giving advice as if OP is still here, use your fucking eyes.

if dubs say you got AIDS from a nigger

>>728917471
Doesn't warrant a response.

>>728924311

kek

>>728924979
wait, judging by your conversation, you havent seen each other in months possibly a year? forget about her dude, she's already shackin up with an alpha, you're too beta for her faggot

>>728924998
Lol as if poon swoon needs your approval. Its okay that you dont get poon. That's why i am here and even tho you act ignorant i am still willing to help. You need it more than some others. Your backlash is a sign of fear. Fear of the unknown and you feel by putting up a blockade others on here will feel maybe you can get poon. They dont give a shit. I am not your issue. You are your issue.

-capt poon swoon

>>728924311
please O captn poon swoon guide me
I know it's all about confidence with the bitches but I don't feel that confident sometimes, and sometimes I don't know what to say.

What should I do? How can I get better?
I know I can do this, but I don't know how

>>728925075
Yes this is a capt poon swoon thread now

>>728925075
well why are you here? i usually pop in to a thread, read the first sentence, then post reply, mb i didnt know you were so invested in this thread to care, i thought only faggots cared

>>728917471
>sends you smiley faces :)

She wants your dick. Send her a dick pic OP

Regards uncel dolan

ayy bby like sum fuk?

>>728920451
Lets meet for coffee and catch up. I'll bring the condoms.

>>728920958
This

>>728925444
you sound like a 12 year old who just started using 4chan. way to waste trips, fag.

>>728925562
ill bring the COCK.

>>728925312
Practice. Put yourself around women more often. Gotta get used to speaking to women more to gain confidence. Use tinder or shitty dating apps to start. These bitches are useless but will help you for your long term goal to become a poon swoon yourself. Also you act like you dont care about them without being a complete dick. This will then convince yourself that you dont need them which gives your confidence a boost because eventually they will be that replaceable.

Fill me on a recent or ongoing female situation on your life to help me understand and give better advice.

-capt poon soon

OP trust me here. I was in this exact situation, birthday and all. YOU NEED TO SEND A DICK PIC. She can't get mad, it's your birthday afterall. She's obviously into you. Happy Birthday

>>728926019
>>728925488
This many people can't be wrong.

>>728925962

Make a capt poon swoon discord and have lessons

>>728925962
Poon swoon has a lyric for you to live your life by from 2 live crew.

Once i go fishin im on a mission. And once i hook em, you know i overlook em.

You need to gain there interest get them hooked. Then flip the script and not care anout them. Women love this shit and it works everytime.

-capt poon swoon

capt. poon swoon here. i am a gigantic faggot and i have no idea what im talking about. i have never been laid.

- capt poon swoon

>>728926216
Ahh no i just pop in a thread from now and then and try to do my part. Love game is easy but a lot of men dont know how to play.

-capt poon swoon

>>728925962
you must be british

>>728926461
Merican

>>728925962
Nice, I think I can do that.
Wouldn't it be better to talk to random women in bars or on the street? How do they react to that?

Thanks, captn

>>728925962

Ben?

>>728921208
>studies

Also OP it's obviously your mom or some shit go do your homework.

>>728917851
hahahaha. true mostly. but depends. depends on the girl op

keep the conversation going, then ask for her fetishes and say "just wondering you know"

>>728927040
Ehh women are cunts when you dont know them. How many times your heard girls talk about how thirsty guys were at the bar trying to talk to them? More than half the bitches at bars have zero intentions to talk to guys. Using tinder or dating apps its the same girls you would meet at a bar but then you go to the bar with them and they will then give you the time of day to talk.
Approaching randoms at the bar will generally have a negative effect on confidence when it is in limbo like yours. Not saying its bad you feel that way many do. One day tho you will have to confindence to go up to them and not give a shit how they respond.

-capt poon swoon

>>728917851
FUCKING KEK

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>>728927700
>he's trying to be a namefig

>>728927923
Virgin alert. Let poon swoon help you out. No judgement here even if you are a dick to me ill still try to help. You're the kind that needs it the most.

-capt poon swoon