Whats the quickest way to get laid?

>>728604507
find a fat ugly chick or hire a prostitute

>>728604507
money or chloroform

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>>728604507

gay butt homosex in your mangina

>>728604507
rape

>>728604507
Money you dingus, the world runs on it

Without going to jail? Fly somewhere prostitution is legal and pay for it.

i got you anon
PURE CONFIDENCE
also don't be a fuck-up and be interesting
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/

GF are trouble, one night are though to get, prostitute, erotic massage and strippers are the best. You need nothing else

Pay for it.
I fucked and 18 year old hooker and busted inside her a couple hours ago.
Kinda horny again so I'm gonna go nut inside another escort I know. She's 22. Not gonna shower first, just wash my junk.
Total cost for today is about $300.
I just feel like being a savage so why fuck around.

>>728604507
Be attractive and find a girl unhappy in her relationship.

>>728604782
This

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>>728604757
This

>>728604507
anyone ever used those ads in the back portion of the pages in the paper? how reliable are they? should you buy a burner for it or is that sketchy?

Stop fapping, work hard, get money.

Sauce on op gif?

>>728604507
Back alley rape sesh

>>728604507
Ask yer mom. I know she's up for it.

>>728604782
This

>>

don't be ugly

>>728604507
Level 100 speech.

And an amulet of +5 ice.

Oh looky there. I have just that...

>>728604507
ask for it

>>728605792
My best friend did. She hosted and while he was in her apartment someone got into his car and stole a bunch of shit. He's pretty sure it was someone she knew because she kept texting while he was there.

>>728605412
>I'm such a cool dude that I pay hundreds of dollars for sex

>>728605416
/thread

>>728606351
This

>>>/pol/

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the quickest way is to go to bars on weekends and hit on ugly or fat girls.

i mean you can be a real fuckin autist but these girls are hungry for any dick.

its not quality, and it might be diseased, but you asked for quick pussy not good pussy.

>>728604507

be born female

>>728604507
idk but step 1 is definitely asking a bunch of virigins on the internet

>>728606787
I'm a transman and girls don't want anything to do with me
so there ya go

>>728604507
all the free dating sites, be nice to landwhales, look passable. once set up you should never take longer than few days max to get laid

>>728606801
The only virgins on /b/ are the fur fags and underage fags and religious fags. M8. Everyone here is normie as fuck now days.

>>728605961
she is myfairylove

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>>728604507
Hookers and cocaine

>>728604507
sauce?

>>728606505
I saw an ad about a message outcall service. seemed sketch cause while i might be gettin some i dont want some nignog coming to my house that night and robbing me

>>728607419
massage*

>>728605961
name: myfairylove

>>728605412
This guy has the right idea. I knew a girl with a heroin habit. Wrap dick, give her a few dollars, fuck, go home. Nice system.

>>728604507
leaving 4chan

>>728606915

Nobody wants to deal with that level of mental illness. Maybe a mtf that still has a penis?

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>>728607187
cocaine works
I can't believe how many chicks with daddy issues you can talk into doing coke and giving you a BJ when you're in a frat

inb4 making things up on the internet

>>728607881

This is legit. I doubt it happened to you, but it's a real thing

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>>728608017
your anonymous disbelief just makes me appreciate it more

>>728604507
>Whats the quickest way to get laid?

That is the answer man has always had. Today I come to you with the answer. Head back to your primitive roots and you will understand. Neanderthals often ate enemies, raped women, and such. So the easiest way to get an answer for your issue would be simple. Live the ways of a caveman. Once you have mastered eating humans then you can feel free to rape any woman for you have mastered eating humans. Now go out there and rape women like a caveman.

>>728606521
As a dude in a long term relationship I can assure you, you'll be "paying hundreds of dollars for sex" no matter which strategy you choose.

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>>728604507
Be nice and she will touch your benis

FASTEST speed, from wanting to get laid to actually getting laid:
If wanting to fuck a girl, backpage or some other site where hookers post. Be sure to check to make sure they have reviews to reduce mugging/stabbing risk.
If wanting to fuck a guy, craigslist. Especially if you claim to be straight, you'll have dudes wanting to fuck within minutes of your post going live.
The above assumes that you live in a large city and that you aren't really fucking picky about who you fuck.

If you have game, any club or bar late at night is an obvious place, but will still not be as fast as finding a quickie hooker or a dude wanting to give up his butt for some "straight" nerd.

If you're not in an absolute hurry, then dating sites work, adultfriendfinder, etc, as well as arrangementfinder type sites (normally cost as much as a hooker but you'll need to spend time messaging back and forth).
Strippers that hook on the side may seem great but will end up costing you a fuck load more than a straight up hooker, no matter what they tell you upfront.
EVEN faster would be knowing a street that streetwalkers are on, cheaper as well, but way way riskier in terms of cops, mugging/stabbing, and disease and/or niggers.

>>728607419
Shit like that happens all the time and hardly ever gets reported. It's easy money for a crackhead hooker and a pimp.

>>728607849
I'm just saying just cuz you're born female doesn't mean u'll get any bitches

>>728608693
>you'll be "paying hundreds of dollars for sex" no matter which strategy you choose.

that's just bullshit. sure anything you do costs money, but there are enough girls that you can just take out to dinner, let her pay her own food and then fuck her after watching movies at your place

>>728608876
Touche. Odds are probably better of just going to a legit message parlor and hoping they offer a happy ending

>>728607419
Those can be sketchy for sure.
You should always google hooker phone numbers or check their username on review sites. Normally if asked they'll give you their name on tna or wherever site as it's in their interest.
Anyone that doesn't have reviews is potentially looking to fuck you over.

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Grapefruit, toothpaste, microwave, jerk off with shampoo.

Boom. There you have it.

>>728609162
not sure if these are things that can be mentioned on this board but are those a thing? i know BP had a escort page but they got rid of that.

>>728604507
>open internet
>go to local whore page
>pic one
>call
>door knock
>open door
>its whore ready to go
>fuck
literally you can get lain in 1 hour no excuse of being virgin any more

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>>728607881
I was at a club with a friend a few years ago, I mentioned that I had a few hits of Extacy but that I had left them back at my place, 2 chicks had overheard me and very enthusiastically came up and "Did you say you had some ex!?"
I was fucking the 9/10 1 hour later, I let my friend have the 6/10.

>>728609305
BP still has escorts, they just removed the actual sections. The hookers still post in the normal woman looking for men section, in fact it's basically all hookers now.
I don't know the reasoning but I'm sure it's something like "lol we can't control who posts there, it's dating lol". Who knows? I'm sure i could google it but I'm lazy.
Anyhow, still there for sure, you can also google for other sites that have similar postings (you'll get a lot of garbage sites this way but you should still be able to figure it out. A lot of sites merely copy/paste various hooker ads to get clicks).

I'm not a hooker expert or anything but I did work for a lady while I was in college who did the backpage thing (was mainly craigslist back then before they cracked down) so I learned a lot about it.
The review sites on their own (there are two big major ones) have a crazy sub-community but they keep it "honest".

>>728609788
Still sketched about the outcall thing cause i dont wanna have to kill some nignog, but in her listing she offers b2b messages as well. im sure i could figure it out

>>728604507
tinder

>>728604507
live near tj?

Prostitutes

>>728604907
only correct answer

>>728609990
Yeah, i know it can be a little scary.
Like I said, make sure someone has actual reviews. Then once they do, read through them and make sure they're not full of "this chick robbed me" or "she brought niggers and they beat me up and stole my cat".
One thing at least about incall vs outcall is that cops typically won't be doing the outcall thing (imagine how inefficient that would be) but again, cops also wouldn't have reviews posted.

A decent option if you can afford it, would be to get a motel room and host them there. That way you aren't exposing where you live and where your vcr is.

be good looking

>>728610445
Got any info on where to find reviews? imtrynafuk (at) guerrillamail.biz

I wouldnt mind the bitch knowing where i live if she were legit but its the *what if* of it all

act edgy , bitches love guys like that ,especially if you got a katana , i dont know how many times thats got me laid.

>>728606986
this
just make a tinder, okc or pof account

>>728604782
This. It's all that matters after age 18

>>728610724
Do you have her phone number?
Or her ad?
If you have her number, you can use that to find the review - it's literally just putting the phone number in google. She may even have something like "tna verified" in her ad.

I can shoot you some sites tho, no big deal.

>>728611077
I got her number on the ad so ill try that

>alcohol
>tinder
>bars

Whenever I'm in the mood I use one or some of the above. Im a decent looking guy so that probably helps.

>>728604782
wizard making six figures here
how do i convert money into sex without prostitution?

>>728605412
Where do you find these escorts? Craigslist?

>>728611424
back page

A few years ago I would have said paying for a whore was pathetic. Well, "things happened" in my life, including a realization of the fact that religious delusion was controlling me. I wouldn't pay more than $125. But I'm not Charlie Sheen either. If you're a 25+year old virgin, with no prospects. Go for it. Be cautious. Don't be impulsive. If you're real horny, fap before you meet up.

you can get laid literally 30 mins from now. find a hooker online, drive over, stop by a bank machine, SEX

>>728604507
lower your standards and be willing to go whaling.

>>728611077
Ive found some postings that seem to be coming from her, but no actual reviews from potential customers. red flags oooor? says calls are screened for her safety and must be done several hours in advance

Find a dude on craigslist.
girls dont wanna fuck you, but guys on craigslist will suck your dick like no girl ever will.

>>728611649
Sounds like a sting nigger.

>>728611383
>go to atm before bar
>make sure you have plenty of cash in checking so it displays on the receipt
>put receipt in pocket
>go to bar, attempt to chat up a girl
>at some point, pretend to get a call, say you have to go, but you'd love to talk to her, and quickly jot your number down on the back of atm receipt
>she may think you seem goofy/weird/creepy, but once she absent mindedly looks at the back (front) of the atm receipt and sees the dollars..
>enjoy getting a text, enjoy your sex
YOU ARE WELCOME

>>728611671

>Find a dude on craigslist.

This.

Tons of guys on Craigslist who aren't picky and will happily suck your dick and swallow. They won't try to talk you into sucking or fucking them, they won't gab, they won't ask for money.

You just show up, whip it out, they suck and swallow, then you leave.

>>728611649
Like I was saying above, there are several sites that just copy/paste hooker ads (probably for ad revenue? I'm dumb so.. ). So they likely take her legit ad and then it gets spammed other places without her even knowing or trying.
Look for sites with actual reviews - you'll know you're at a real one when they want you to login and shit to find out actual details (but you don't need that, you merely need to make sure they ARE actual reviews).
Like if some chick has reviews going back a year, chances are pretty much zero that it's an ongoing police sting - you'd also see messages on forums indicating that was the case using her phone number.
Stings are rare so I wouldn't jump to that conclusion, far more likely to be nigged than cops.

>>728611880
Good plan.

If you don't have lots of money in the bank or don't want her to see your real account number, JUST PRINT A FAKE ATM RECEIPT.

>>728612079
This x 1000
It's literally as easy as making a post. Craigslist is crawling with dudes, especially dudes into "straight" guys.

>>728611880
i feel dirty just reading that
maybe that's why i'm single

>>728612273
In fact, I'm going to do this right now.

>>728611649
Also screening calls is pretty normal, and is actually a good thing.
You should be using a burner phone btw, not your actual cell. Or at least using an app that gives you a throwaway number.

>>728611383
you get married to a shallow whore

http://tcho.net/sx

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>>728611520
>stop by a bank machine, SEX

Sex with a bank machine is so cash!

>>728612497
doesn't the sex stop as soon as the marriage begins?

>>728612214
It also works with just stealing receipts from the bin outside the atm. It's a really really fucking old trick, like decades at least.
I remember some friend of my dad's telling me how to do it when I was 12 or something ridiculous.
(not sure if it even works now but thought it sounded funny)

>>728612451
damn. its even hard just to pay to get fucked. cause then you might just get fucked by uncle sam or robbed by niggers.

>>728604507
Get off 4chan.

Free dating sites... pick the 5/10 girls that probably get no replies. Feed them a bunch of bullshit and you're in.

>>728604507
hooker or rape

>>728608693
that's time
time = money

>>728612900
haha, that is true.
Burner phones are ridiculously cheap, and kind of a must (in my opinion at least) not only for cheating but just to stay a step away from things getting into your "real" life.
I think here at least, it's like 20 bucks at 7-11 for a cheapo phone that you pay by the minute or whatever.
There are apps that do something similar but I'm not an expert on them, but I'd bet the decent ones cost like 10 bucks or something not-expensive, or even free.

>>728609036
ment for>>728613225

>>728605320
But you don't get any of the special goodies like making out while fucking, or doggin it raw.

Anybody tried any of the Asian massage places?

>>728606351
Lol

>>728611459
How do you not get LEA up your anus from that.

>>728611880
Pretty much this.

>>728609296
lost

>>728611880
How much is "plenty"

>>728612497
S H A L L O W W H O R E

>>728604507
>Whats the quickest way to get laid?

Money.

Wouldn't matter how you looked, if you have enough money relative to the person you want; you could get laid with anyone....and I mean anyone, not just career prostitutes/escorts/etc..... a regular person off the street could accept an "offer" if you can guess the price in the first (maybe second) try; depends on your haggling skills, and how much you actually have.

>>728613938
this wouldnt be ideal if you dont have a lot of money. you could try and play this off by ripping your receipt in half and tell her you accidentally wrote it on the wrong side or whatever. This is what you would do to the qt 3.14 that isnt vibing with you, and let her inner gold digger do the work

>>728605305
let me show you how deep the autism goes

>>728610079
I do

>>728614151
everyone keeps saying this
500k in assets and 120k salary here
how much more do i need to get laid?

>>728613938
Well the ancient trick is to steal a receipt that has money listed on it from the basket at the atm.
You're supposed to grab a pen, do a pat-down-do-i-have-any-paper-lol? routine, snag the receipt out of your pocket, and jot your number quickly on the back.
Then you get out of there, it's supposed to look not premeditated. Girls are dumb.
But yeah, it would work even better if you have the cash to show off.

>>728608846
Girl touched my benis once.

It was an accident though.

Good times.

>>728604507
Sleep with a man.

>>728604782
I have money, and I'm not getting laid. WTF, bros.

I just appear normal, and I'll never be a d-bag who shows off my money. So how do I get laid? Just tell a bitch I'm loaded?

>>728615328
A pretty man, with a smooth bum.

With the lights off you'll never know the difference.

>>728614593
What do you do? I'm good with women, and want to be successful as well. Maybe we can trade.

>>728615821
you gotta flaunt your shit, make a $1000 withdrawl or something, chat up a girl at a bar, casually write your number on receipt, crumble it up, write it down there at the bar. Dont make it look like you planned it. If she hits you up then fuck her, if not oh well. Try and tear it too to make it look old, but to also get rid of any personal info not pertaining to the withdraw amount

Hooker

Go to a sex club / swingers club.

>>728616021
software engineer
how good with women are we talking?
perhaps we can arrange a trade

>>728616021
>>728616194
And thus, a beautiful relationship is born on /b/

>>728616172
negative, any decent one either doesn't allow single dudes or charges a fuck ton if you're going stag.
And good luck once you're in there.
Really amazing way to fuck other fat chicks if you bring a girl tho.

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Be attractive and talk to women like they're people.

>>728616679
how much is a fuck ton?
i can't be the only person in this thread with way more money than sex

>>728616834
I'm not sure, i could look up a place in town but i know feeling it was pretty cost prohibitive when i looked into it before.
I do know this particular place has a bad rep as far as letting single guys in, and it isn't like it's full of hot couples either. It's mostly older people fucking - which is totally okay, but it's a weird clique type thing, kind of reminded me of old chatrooms when I was reading about it. Possibly a biased author of the article, who knows?

Anyhow, if you have cash, you could look into arrangement finder type sites. It's kind of like hookers, but it's for sugarbabies finding sugardaddies. It's as gay as it sounds, BUT the vast majority of chicks on there aren't "real" whores, they're college chicks basically looking for handouts in exchange for fucking you.
Some are looking for long-term stuff, some even looking for just phone relationships (lol),but a lot are okay with one night deals regardless of what they claim in their ad.

So you could start there if you're not into just straight up finding a hooker.
Or you could work on your social skills and pick up someone at a bar. Money isn't everything but it helps a lot.

>>728605305
I needed this

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>>728611383
I can anwser that, for money
>having a threesome possible foursome soon

>>728617566
what do you charge?
do you guarantee your services in any way?
if you're planning on teaching a pick up class, i doubt i can make it through the lines without it sounding awkward and forced

>tfw broke and a virgin

Take an 8 ball of some decent coke to a sleazy titty bar......... That's it

>>728604507
Girls love sex
at least that's what I've found, you basically need one thing: Personality, but it does help if you have money to back it. hot chicks will rip their clothes off if you are kind, funny, a dick to losers and have a lot of money.

>>728618090
And you know this how exactly? Because you're one of the losers a Chad was a dick to?

>>728617566
>>728617822
>>728617977
>>728618044
4 dubs, all in a row. holy shit

>>728618284
exactly heh I was that transparent huh?

>>728618284
Not him but he's mostly right.
Girls like confidence, even if you're faking it.
Girls will go for the drunk dude who hits on them and gets shut down way way way before they go for the "nice guy" who calls them pretty on facebook all the time.
The "key" (and i hate to make it sound like I know what I'm doing, but it's real) is to act confident and friendly yet aloof. Like you're into her but don't give that much of a shit either. Plenty of fish, etc.
That means striking out a lot, but girls are INTO that. It also means one needs to learn how to appear confident (not to be confused with outright arrogance).

>>728617822
Whatever you think its worth to get it on your own, and yeah i can get anyone laid. Not about lines, i look at it like cooking, its better to learn the technique then the recipie, how to turn awkwardness charming for example

>>728606521
You don't pay the hooker for sex, you pay her to leave afterwards.

>>728618795
in all honesty, i'd be willing to part with 50k or so to become one of those confident guys who always does well with women
i just don't believe anyone actually has the skill to turn my loser ass into somebody like that

>>728604782
Fucking nonsense. I have been broke all my life and never hurt for pussy. Some guys live by sponging off girls they fuck while dipshits like you get pumped for drinks at the club and conclude somehow that that means girls want money.

>>728619118
I have no problem getting women and never have my biggest limitation is money honestly, i feel like unless you are just a repulsive person i could get you laid no questions asked. You have the resources def its just finding out what you want and how to make it , girls like fat, nerd, whatever

>>728618519
ROFL, no, I was just trying to be funny, and to practice what you preached by being a dick to someone. :)

You a kissless virgin, bro?

>>728619465
Post pics of the last floozy you fucked.

>>728619605
Okay, tell me how to get laid. I own a kick ass house ($400,000) with a great pool. Have no debt, can do whatever I want. What do I do - tell some drunk slut at a bar that own a house with a pool? Somehow I doubt that's going to get me laid.

I'm recently divorced, and have hardly any experience flirting with chicks. But I have money. Please tell me how the fuck to get a hottie in my house so I can much on her asshole.

>>728604507
Lower your standards