Feels thread. Tell me, whats on your mind, anons? I'm listening.

I've spent so long dreaming of killing myself it's starting to feel like the only reason I'm still alive is because I failed at even attempting suicide because I don't have the balls

Wish I could find love, ya know?

>>728473178
I'm just worried about this girl I like. She's a friend of my ex but that's a different story. We've been close friends for a few months now and recently we've told each other that we like one another but since I'm graduating this year I don't know what to do. She also makes a lot of shitty choices and is suicidal. She used to fuck a couple of dudes but has been on and off about that. She's really cool and I just don't know what do to since I fell pretty fast and hard for her.

Sorry if that didn't make a lot of sense, I just typed it without thinking.

Out of all my problems loneliness criple me hardest.

>>728474069
Don't we all, man. Don't we all

>>728474094
Does graduation means that you will leave your town or something?

>>728473819
What has made you feel like this in the first place anon?

>>728474094
Don't worry, it makes sense. Why would graduating make a difference? Or are you moving away after you have?

>>728474192
Feeling alone is one of the most painful things. Especially when everyone around you has their shit together. I'm constantly comparing myself to other people, wondering where it all went wrong for me. It's sad really

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>>728473819
Listen to me, I have come within a inch of killing myself before, only pure luck saved my life but I'm happy it did. So listen to me, you need to know this: If you want to commit suicide but you're too scared or don't have the balls, that means you don't want to kill yourself. That means you mind knows there's a reason to live. If you were really so depressed that you want to die, you wouldn't be afraid, you'd look forward to it. It would be a relief. You aren't at that point yet friend, I promise you that even though I got so sick of hearing it from others, it's true. Life will always get better. I promise you this.

Source: after spending my life in constant, unstoppable, inescapable pain from when I was 14 until I was 20 I had spent so much time weighing the choice between life and death that I became comfortable with it. I wasn't scared or afraid. I was literally half a second away from stepping off the curb and in front of a bus (seriously) when my phone went off, and I decided to check it. That night the call I received not only saved my life, but helped me realize that it can get better. And now so many years later I'm sitting on the couch typing this out to you next to my wife all because she decided to text me at that exact moment that night.

>>728473178
Never kissed a girl and I'm 20, now I think I'm in love with some 18 year old girl whose more sexually experienced than me. It makes me feel weak and unsure of what to do.

>>728474833
The worst part is that when I finally decide to do something and try to start a relationship I always end up with girls who are somehow equally or more 'damaged' than me. Usually it ends up with me thinking 'well, maybe this time it will be be good, maybe we will both we happy together'. Then they leave and I cry like a little bitch,telling myself that I will choose wiser next time only to fall for it again.

Also I know what you are talking about. I don't know when that little bright and clever dude with potential turned into mediocre mess that I'm now.

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>>728473178
I am about to see my exgf for the first time in a month since the breakup tonight, there will be a shitton of people around which is great.
She did the dumping and since then has been on a downward spiral. I have not contacted her since the "breakup talk."
Thing is, I am throwing the after party and hoping she doesn't have the audacity to show up.

>>728473178
I feel like my family thinks very low of me. They always treat me like I don't belong around them anymore even though I tried to help them and did more good for them than both my brothers did combined, I don't know...not that it matters because I'm almost 22 and live my own life, just makes me wonder why me?

>>728475342
This. Hearing something like that from another person who was in your exact position really makes you think. Thank you for those words, it has honestly helped. Whenever i've contemplated killing myself theres always a small part of me which tells me that i really shouldn't be doing this, and luckily i've been listening to it. I'm too scared to kill myself, but the thought of living my life isn't too appealing either. But your words seem to have convinced me not to lose all hope yet

>>728475613
You'll find that when you're inexperienced at your age, a lot people around your age group would have done more than you, and thats nothing to be ashamed/worried about. I'm sure she'll be accepting of it! Keep pursuing it man, you'll be fine.

>>728473178
Who's the artist? I know it's a girl, I've seen some of her work on facebook but i've forgot the name

>>728475902
If theres a lot of people hopefully you wont even have to lay eyes on her if shes that much of a problem. And if she does decide to make an appearance at your after party, its your party so you have all the right to ask her to leave

>>728476290
Chiara Bautista

>>728476484
YASS thank you anon

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>>728476408
Thanks /b/ro. I guess I'm just surprised she hasn't tried to contact me since the breakup. Usually after a month or so of not speaking to women in my experience they start sniffing around.

>>728475988
Might sounds stupid but are you the middle child? It's always the middle kid that gets kindof 'forgotten about' in a sense. But yeah that must suck man. If you've been good to them and they still aren't very accepting then that is not your fault at all. Theres not much more you can do, unless you try to bring it up in conversation?

>>728476693
Yeah they always come crawling back lmao. I guess it depends on how hard the breakup went down. If it was a mutual thing then usually they just leave it alone. If it goes down like a ton of bricks however, they do usually start popping up in your life again

>>728476746
I am yeah, I thought about that myself. Kinda fucked up to raise a kid whose gonna question shit like that somewhere down the line, you know "is it because I'm the middle kid?".

I don't try to bring it up because my parents are 'simple' people, they don't understand reason, its foreign to them so I don't bother. As a kid I thought I was adopted because the way I was thinking and acting was so much different than my parents'.

Its weird because my younger brother even said it that he dislikes the family and wants to move out asap. He's spoiled and very ungrateful and yet my parents try so hard to get him to like them more, but if I mention something they did to me that I wasn't happy about they'd just tell me to stop exaggerating/making stuff up and come to my senses. Wouldn't bother me much if I could just leave them, but for some reason I can't bring myself to forget I have a family so I just deal with that shit.

>>728475714
Yeah, when you're both as 'damaged' as each other it doesn't usually end up going down well haha. And of course, we always tell ourseles that we wont let it happen again, but it always does. Its a constant, painful shitty loop

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>>728476896
Yea a week after she came to an event she 100% knew I was at all dplled up, dancing with her roommate and stormed out when I ignored her flipping the bird.
Things started to get bad about a month prior when her friend moved back into town, who is a stripper lesbian with BPD who got dumped by her gf. Since then, friction started with my gf and I over dumb shit (her constantly in a bad mood/nagging)
I feel like her friend convinced her to ditch me so she could have her partner-in-crime again, which is both grimy and pathetic.

>>728473178
So much wrong with me, things that can't even be fixed.

>I cant sing at all
I dont want to be a artist or famous singer, I just want to be able to sing along with the radio without embarrassing myself or feeling shame

>I am 5ft7
Shortest of all my friends, makes me feel inferior.

>my beard grows in patches
I cant grow a manly beard like I want, it grows out thing and in patches, so I am forced to shave.

>I have premature ejaculation
With various techniques and methods, I am now able to last about 10min on a good day. Thats not good enough to fully satisfy a woman.

Writing these out actually makes me feel more ashamed than I did before I started, fucking should end myself

>>728477216
Thought so.

Yeah, its always the youngest who turns out to be the one thats spoilt rotten, but hates their parents anyway. Its kinda like the parents are so focused on keeping the youngest happy, they completely disregard the older ones who actually give a shit and work their arse's off to make them happy.

IMO dropping your family like that is never the answer, but i can see why its tempting. Feeling unappreciated ain't fun.

>>728477559
Don't worry anon, I've been where you are.

-premature ejaculation? That's easy, jerk off some point right before you hook up. It's probably the best thing to do, and you can do it twice if you need to reinforce it.

-patchy beard? Me too, my shit looks like someone lit a hedgehogs ass on fire with my red facial hair in inconsistent spots. However, I do have enough on my mustache and chin to shape a decent looking goatee without looking like a fuck boy. It's all in how you rock it, just make sure to keep it buzzed at a short enough length daily and don't let it grow out.

>>728477559
You shouldn't be embarrassed about not being able to sing very well! I personally cannot sing a note in tune, but people usually find it funny anyway so I've never really worried about it. Neither should you!

Although being as tall as your friends would make you feel better about yourself, its not that big a deal really

Beards take time, a lot of it. Sure it wont be perfect for the most of it, but after a while it will fill out evenly. May look patchy af for a while but if you want that beard you'll have to put up with it

Maybe talk to a doctor about that?

>>728478055
My stash and chin are the only areas where the hair grow normally, but they dont connect, I would have been happy with a gotee but cant even have that

>>728477322
She just sounds childish and annoying really lmao. Women are strange beings

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>>728476039
That's all I hoped for. And one last thing, try your hardest not to let yourself be alone. The worst thing possible for you is to be alone with your own thoughts, at least that's how it was for me. Go out for a walk, talk to people, do whatever you have to do to keep from letting yourself be alone. That's the only other advice I can offer you.

>>728477220
I don't know if my own problems attracts me to these girls or something else. And I just can't go for other girls. Some time ago I met a girl that was nice, good and, well, 'not damaged'. She was little naive maybe childish, very emotionall, but not in a bad way. Still, I couldn't bring myself to not be a dick to her. With other girls, girls with problems, I could find some kind of connection based on our problems. With her I didn't have that. I can't really tell if that was the reason but I just kinda end this really indecorously. I basically had a chance to be in a relationship with a good and nice girl but I decided not to because, well, she wasn't damaged? I don't even know.

>>728478546
Thank you. I'll keep it all in mind.

I'm tired of therapists putting me in hospitals for sharing my feelings with them. Am i really so dark that no one can relate to me? I get it that idealizing suicide is a sickness but putting me under a 72 hour hold isnt the answer.

>>728477559
-only 5'7? I'm 5'8 myself, and my girlfriend is 5'3. If you keep throwing your hat in the ring, you'll definitely find a girl that is proportional to your height, or maybe you'll find some tall ass giraffe neck looking bitch that has a thing for shorter dudes. Either way, you're not a total midget. If you learn to keep good posture and keep your back straight, you're going to appear taller than people who are a couple of inches taller than you. Most people slouch like they're subhuman, so get your posture game up.

-can't sing? Shit, neither can I. I don't sing unless I'm shit face drunk, but if I wanna do it around others I'll try to put some humor behind it to keep everyone cool with it. That actually kills two birds with one stone, because you'll make people laugh and you'll appear confident enough to be yourself.

-no confidence? That's the easiest of them all, just fake it till you make it. Sure, you're probably going to fail the first couple of times, but you'll develop thick skin and you'll get better and better each attempt you make. Hell, you might do it right off the bat unexpectedly. I'm not saying you have to pretend to be some hot shot pretentious cool guy, but I am saying that you need to appear as if you're confident enough to be comfortable in your own skin. Keep in mind, girls are the ones who have to look pretty and worry about insecurities. It's different for guys, they can look like a total train wreck and date girls out of their league if they have confidence and a sense of humor.

-lastly, be yourself. There's only one you, and you're unique. Unique people are interesting, so don't try to be someone you're not. It'll seem too forced.

I hope this helps, it really helped me get through life as an awkward, short, gingerish doofus. I have a really hot girlfriend who looks like she should be dating someone who makes more money in a year than what I make in a decade. If I can do it, so can you!

>>728478255
Lmao are you me?? Mine don't connect either, but that's fine. Like said before, keeping it trimmed will keep it looking clean even if the hair doesn't connect. Don't try to grow your mustache out to overcompensate, just keep it as is and you'll be okay. Get an electric buzzer and play around with it, start with the big clips and go down gradually until you hit the sweet spot.

>>728478663
Yeah it sounds like you connect so well with people who are in the same emotional mind set as you because you see yourself in them, and the reason why it went badly with this other girl is because you couldn't. Also when you're with someone who is in that same sort of position as you, you hold each other up, and maybe because she wasn't 'damaged' she wasn't able to do that as well as you needed her to? Idk man its a tricky one, sorry for not being much help

>>728478860
Unfortunately a lot of therapists do just chuck their patients into hospitals as a quick fire way of getting rid of the problem for themselves, when in the meantime i usually makes patients feel even worse.

>>728479489
Good ones don't. My therapist could have done that with me, and instead she had me go to a couple of outpatient group therapy meetings each week and then I'd have a follow up appointment with her the day after. Keep in mind, when I first met her I was coming down from trying to kill myself with heroin and xanax and just got out of the psychiatric ward of the hospital across the street, and I could barely walk. I feel like if you demonstrate a willingness to improve your life and you're willing to take advice into consideration, professionals will be willing to work with you without encroaching on your liberty.

>>728473178
>Noticed my girlfriend of 3 years was starting to become distant and was out till around 4am most nights when she said she was in bed
>won't tell me where she really was, just said she was driving around to clear her head
>decide to test how she really feels about me by saying we should break up
>she doesn't even cry and leaves immediately
>Still love her a lot even though she is a horrible liar
>Asked over and over again to get back with me and she kept denying it

Fast forward a week
>She starts texting me again and saying how much she loves me and how she misses me
>Comes over some nights, we lay in bed, kiss, hold eachother, everything feels like it's getting better
>One day she is complaining about how she has so much homework and doesn't know how she is going to finish it
>I had done so many papers for her throughout our relationship, at least 17
>She would always complain about it and basically ask me to do them without actually asking me
>Know that I shouldn't, but said yes anyway because still super in love
>Have to borrow her laptop because mine got fucked up, she says she will meet me and give it to me, but she had to get back home to do other homework
>I noticed when we met how dolled up she was, not her usual "at home" attire
>She leaves and I have a weird feeling that's probably not doing that
>I had asked her multiple times if she was seeing someone else, says she needed time to herself
>Do a drive by past her house, her car isn't even there
>At this point I figured there had to be someone else she was hanging out with those nights and at the time
>Call and asks where she is
>"Just driving around"

>Do paper anyway because I don't want her to get a bad grade

I'll continue if anyone wants to hear more

>>728479265
It is okay, I don't really expected a solution, maybe I just needed to write about it.
I think that you might be somehow right about me seeing myslef in them. I think I don't love or even like myself, and with them, knwing that they are in same situation, I want to be there for them. Maybe give them something that I crave so they will be happy, and, I know how it might sound, if I would succeed with that I would be happy.

>>728479941
Yeah i completely agree. It all depends on your attitude when you first walk in there. I think if they can see that you're just going to disregard most of what they say and not take it seriously, they won't really put in as much effort (knowing you wont either) and hand you over to a hospital when they get a suitable chance.

>>728474576
>>728474401
I'm still gonna be close but we won't see each other nearly as much after I graduate. She's a year behind me, I forget if I mentioned that

>>728480164
Please do continue

>>728480275
Remember, you'll never be able to love someone else unless you love yourself. If you try to get involved with someone without learning to love and accept yourself first, the relationship will be doomed. I wish someone told me that when I was young, but fortunately I figured it out in my mid 20's and now I'm doing well for myself.

>>728480164
please anon, continue

>>728480534
not necessarily true. i was in an awful, awful place when my girlfriend stumbled across my miserable life. she helped me find reasons to love, not loathe myself. its cheesy, but i honestly think i would be long gone if i hadn't met her. >>728480275 I think sometimes you've just got to wait, someone amazing will soon come and just change everything! never in a million years thought it would ever happen, but it did, and it really does change everything

>>728480895
I'm telling you man, you need to love yourself first. What you're experiencing is infatuation with the idea of being in love, and you might not recognize it but you aren't actually putting that caliber of love into the relationship. The infatuation will prop you up for a while, but when your foundation is shaken it'll ultimately crumble if you don't have self-love to prop it up. If you use the infatuation as inspiration to love yourself in an attempt to truly love someone else, that's awesome.

>>728473178
Just came back home from a party.
Right now I am going through low self esteem issues because I don't like party

>>728480534
I know, I even read a really good post here about it, explaining why not loving yourself can doom a relationship but I just can't help with that. I know this is bad for me, but I just can't find happiness on my own. I can have a really good day, actually be happy but still, somewhere in my head I feel thst it would be better if I would be able to share that happiness with someone special.

>>728480895
I really hope it will change eventually. Maybe one day I will make post like yours.

>>728473178
>Tell me, whats on your mind, anons? I'm listening.
Recently, a close friend of mine passed away. But you should be more concerned with these repeating digits.

Oh boy where do I start

best friend since 8 years has changed a lot in the past two years, became totally opposite of what I identify with and my moral standards. He became a boring asshole that only got three things on his mind: weed, alcohol and girls. When we're hanging out we're usually smoking weed, but its only fun when there are other people because you cant have creative discussions and stuff with him only. He has literally no hobbies besides smoking weed and maybe playing vidya from time to time. I thought about stop meeting him, but he just got diagnosed with some mental disorder, got kicked out by his dad(he's 21 and works in a callcenter) and i dont want him to fuck himself up because if i left him i think he would go crazy
>helpers syndrome fuck yeah

another good friend just got himself into mental hospital where he has to stay for 3 months because drugs, not being able to care for himself and suicide stuff

i met a girl and had about 5 dates over half a year(we were both very busy because of university), the sixth date we were at her parents house when she was alone, lost my virginity to her, havent seen her since(it was about 5 days after christmas). She answers my texts though but never initiates a conversation herself, and the times i asked her out she always had an excuse. I really like her, but i am tired of waiting. I got a lot of patience, but i dont want it to end the same ways as with the last girl i liked: waited three fucking years for her(we were in same class in highschool - dont shit where you eat).
> this resulted in having absolutely no experience with girls at age 21

i have to give in my diploma-essay for my bachelors degree in a week and i dont even have finished half of it

i know its not as worse as other peoples problems, i just like writing it down

I just dont want to live anymore, girl left me. What to do? :(

I miss baww threads with images. Not feels threads with walls of text, people just whining about girls.

>>728481722
How'd your friend pass? Sorry for your loss, anon.

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>For the socially retarded.

The only advisable course of action that minimises the distress caused by being socially isolated/retarded is to get a menial job that isn't too taxing, then start a collecting hobby that will occupy a decent amount of time. I myself have started a gaming collection of a certain system of which I am edging closer and closer to completion but probably never will, in the same way Achilles will never beat the tortoise. It's an ultimately fruitless endeavour even if you do complete it but it's really for speeding up the passage of time and to avoid thinking about your current situation. Also when you go about collecting occasionally you'll run into normies, usually fucking hipsters, who for some reason are impressed by your dedication and/or collection. Savour that crumb of acceptance but DON'T get addicted to it. Acknowledge their interest but don't give them much satisfaction.

If all goes well, you'll die a busy man. Not happy mind you, just someone who was too busy to acknowledge his depression.

A tip I learnt from Dr Steve Brule:
>Go to bed early you doofus. Cos when you're sleeping there's no lonely times, just dreams.

I guarantee no one here will give better advice than this.

>>728480164
>>728480464

>Next day I drive to her work place (works in a mall) to give her the laptop
>Smoke a cigarette outside the mall before I go in
>There's a short, 18 year old, and also smokes, he always sits there and talks to me whenever he saw me, I find him pretty annoying
>before I go in I get a text saying to just meet her by her car
>Wak to where she was parked and give her laptop, she sits there and tells me how much she loves me and thanks me
>I'm still upset about the night before and was fed up with the obvious lies
>Ask her again if there is someone else she has been with those nights
>Denys it still
>I know in my brain that it's an obvious lie, but don't want it to be true

Later that night
>Sitting at home because I have nothing better to do, I rage mode quit my job the day we broke up because store owner was being a huge cunt as usual
>sSrolling through Instagram and see the short mall cop in suggested people to follow
>Just curious to what his life is like
>His account is private, but could still see his bio
>Notice something weird at the end

>My now-ex girl's intials and a heart emoji

I was in total shock, there was no way it was real. I knew that he knew who she was and would hang around and talk to her when he was in the area, but my ex would always tell me he was nothing to worry about because he was 18 (she's turning 25 soon), and that she would never want to be with a guy who was shorter than her and chunky.

>Freak out and text her asking her if she was dating the mall cop
>No response
>Notice all of a sudden that I was blocked on everything
>hear nothing from her for days

It fucking stung, I was so in love with this girl and I thought she was with me too. The whole relationship she was always worried that I would break up with her. I honestly never thought I would be without her, I was even planning on asking her to get married this year. There is still more if anyone still wants to hear it.

>>728481916
>>Go to bed early you doofus. Cos when you're sleeping there's no lonely times, just dreams.

that would be a good advice if i wasnt lonely even in my dreams

>>728481535
To be honest with you even if it is just 'propping me up' as you say, its made me feel A LOT better about everything, and i would take that any day over going back to how i used to be, but i do see what you mean too

>>728481543
Why did you go in the first place?

>>728481876
meditate

>>728481722
check'd fam. but nah that sucks man, hope you're okay. losing someone close to you hurts like a bitch

>>728473178
Still a phsycopath

>>728481908
I prefer the images too but hey. People want to get shit off their chest, and thats okay

>>728481909
>>728482246
Thanks. It was suicide but I've managed to get through it. Not as recent as I thought actually.

>>728482183
It was a stupid decision, I know I am more into daytime stuff, I shall listen my own senses first from now on
On my way home I could really feel how ashamed I was of myself, I am thankful for my self-hatred reaction because it shows how reliant my mechanisms are about poor life choices

>>728482020
I'd love to hear it, anon.

I'm really sorry this happened to you

>>728482020
She sounds petty as fuck dude, blocking you on everything. She could have at least explained herself, she owes you that much. I feel so sorry for you, it all sounds so one sided. You deserve so much better, someone who will return that love back to you. I'm sure someone new will come along and treat you how you deserve to be treated. You seem like a good guy

>>728473178
Nothing is on my mind.

I have everything that should make me happy, but I want. I want not to have but simply to want and get. Once I have something I just want to let it go. I fear ever having a family because of this. I don't want to abandon anyone, but I want so bad... I want her, and her and these and those and I want to be here and there and drive this and that. It is total shit. I want most to not want, but I have been diseased by this internet.

>>728473178
was expecting a thread full of depressing pics like
>pic related
not a thread full of moralfags

Went away for the weekend with my girlfriend, we haven't had sex in months because I'm self conscious, just argued all weekend. She's asleep now beside me and I'm on here. I just feel worthless at this point.

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>>728482917
i start

>>728482730
i'm envious

>>728482506
Yeah that's probably the better thing to do. Try to avoid putting yourself into situations that you know you wont like, its bad for morale lmao. And its not a poor life choice as such, it's good because now you know that you dont like that sort of situation so you can stay away

>>728482771
do you even english

>>728482917
feel free to contribute instead of fuckin moaning about it

I'm like a non-person. I'm so self-obsessed and insecure that I model myself after other people to the point that I don't know if there's even an original person in there. Everything I do is for the approval of others, and I hate myself.

Also, I'm horrible with women, like abysmal. I have absolutely no idea what to do or say around them, like approaching a girl is an absolute alien concept to me. I've had one serious relationship, and it was terrible.

>>728482987
thanks anon, I slowly start to feel better :)

>>728482942
why are you self conscious anon? and was she just taking her anger out on you about it? you shouldn't feel worthless about it, she should understand that you are self conscious for whatever reason and find a compromise that you're both happy with till you're more confident

>>728483084
I went full modeling after other person expectation multiple times, to the point I imagined not knowing who I was originally

Depression helped me reaching my true-self, like a reboot

>>728483349
I have a bit of a belly, I wouldn't say I'm fat, but I am carrying a bit of weight. I just asked last night could we turn off the light and she lost her shit. I explained why. But it's still the same.

>>728483034
I make speak on word for you as good of I will cause if clear with understand us well and are friend

My boyfriend and I broke up back in September but have been living together since. He started dating new people almost a week afterwards. We were together for 2 years and he just threw it all away so quickly.

Our lease is up May 1st. I'm taking University year round and can't find a job that pays well enough for me to afford a place on my own. He found a new place; won't let me move in. I'm about to be on the streets and his constant response is, "that is your problem". I don't know what I did so wrong to deserve this treatment. The only thing he will say is that he still enjoys my company but I screwed our relationship. I'm not told why; I'm only told I've changed and don't hurt him anymore.

I don't know what I'm going to do come May 1st. I might have to move back home which means dropping out of school, losing my job, and quitting my sport. My whole life is destroyed because of this breakup and I'm not even given a reason.

>>728483623
Accept yourself or do improvements decision that may help you to accept yourself

>>728482142
The first part of the advice is still good.

Funny, talking about lonely dreams, there was this one year where I fucked up this test to get into uni, so I had to wait for the next year to continue. During the entire year I did practically nothing, I stayed home and watched tv and occasionally go out to get shit.

And every fucking night I'd have a dream, which was basically replaying what happened each day; me, in my vest and pants, watching tv. Since my day almost never varied, the dream almost never varied, and any variations were just the extra thing I did that particular, like buying milk.

For an entire fucking year my dreams were about sitting on my arse watching the telly.

>>728483623
How long have you been together? Surely she is aware that you have a small belly on you, it shouldn't change anything. And you've said it yourself, you're not fat, most healthy guys have a belly on them. You don't have anything to worry about man. I know its easier said than done but you should try and just go for it, focus solely on her

>>728483623
You need to own what you have and work with it. As I stated above, guys can get away with being fat or ugly if they have confidence and a sense of humor. Try faking some confidence just to please your girl, and soon enough you'll grow into it. In the meantime, if you wanna do something about your weight you can start doing some exercise routines now, and you'll be good by the time summer arrives if you stick with it. There's nowhere to go but up, anon.

>>728483790
Is staying at the place where you currently are not an option?

Maybe we'll meet again as flowers, blooming in the light of a new star.

>>728483799
She told me that she understands why but that I never do anything about it and never will, I'll always be the same. It's destroying our relationship and it kills me because im just lazy.

>>728482020
>>728482627
>>728482717

Three days after that night
>Finally get a text from her
>Ask her why she did this to me and why she couldn't tell me the truth
>She is totally unapologetic and talking to me like I was a whole different person who she was just formal with

A little backstory
>She had been that really clingy type of girl the whole time we were dating
>She would get mad at me if I wanted to hang out with friends or if I worked too late and wanted to sleep
>I would come over to her place at 2am after working all day and fight sleep just to see her and keep her happy with me
>I was always super tired when we would hang out because she is a night owl and wouldn't let me sleep

Back to the texts
>She tells me she stopped loving me months ago before we broke up because I was always tired and wanting to sleep, and that I "made her feel single"
>The whole time we were dating, I did EVERYTHING for her
>I would buy her food, visit her at work, do her homework, help her calm down when she was having anxiety attacks, never once cheated on her, and still to this day I haven't even insulted her


There's a lot more, but i have to save it for later if the threads still up and there is any interest

>>728482020
I'm sorry for your lose, Anon. This music always helps me

https://dela.bandcamp.com/album/translation-lost-2

>>728484069
I can't afford the rent on my own.

>>728483790
Where are you from? If you tell us where, we might be able to point you in the right direction to receive extra student financial aid money that could cover housing and regular expenses.

>>728484069
>>728484226
I live in Canada. Our economy is very fucked right now. I was unemployed for 10 months and my current job can't give more than 25hrs per week. I was rejected by employment insurance.

I feel like I'm a spectator in my own life. I never make any effort to connect with those around me. I want everyone else to make the first effort, without putting anything in myself. I can't believe that any girl would be interested in me, and even if they were I wouldn't what to do or where to take them and generally being a shit bf. I'm not able to motivate myself to work, even when it becomes increasingly important. I will only work literally at the end of a deadline, perhaps a few hours beforehand if I feel I can get away with it, when I often can't. I hold out hope that someone or something will give me all the answers one day. I just want a guidebook to life, but am also aware of the fact that such a thing doesn't exist. Even now I'm hoping on of you cunts can tell me how to solve everything.

Mine isn't too bad... I just need to vent a little and would like some advice if possible.
I have been acting like a huge pussy lately... there is this girl I have been trying to talk to, but she doesn't seem to interested. All of my friends are saying that I am tripping and need to chill out and just act normal. But I'm afraid that if I keep trying to pursue I will just end up looking like a creep... I don't even know how I should start a conversation with her without coming off as too aggressive or weird.

>>728484077
I'm interested anon, but yeah the thread will probably 404 soon and it would just be a waste of an interesting story

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>>728473178
only girl ive ever loved is gone. Its been a month and I don't see it getting better anytime soon

>>728484251
See >>728484300

Specifically I live in Edmonton. Ground zero of the fucked economy of my country.

>>728484337
Just try taking the casual route and talk to her man. Be nice and genuine, and if she turns her nose up at it then you know that pursuing would be a waste of time. You never know unless you try. Take your friends advice and just act normal, be yourself

>>728484073
Don't call yourself lazy too fast and try to figure out first what you really want to do about this situation

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I will never rid NI of the eternal anglo.

>>728484304
If you're in the latter part of your 20s then you are kinda fucked.

>>728484304
I feel you anon. I have more of a girl problem that relates to this though. It started out nice and I didn't really wanna catch feelings for this bitch but I ended up doing so anyways and I know she isn't intrested, but I keep trying anyways to satisfy my minds hunger for wanting her. Whenever I fuck up talking to her though (which is a lot InB4alpha af) I have the exact same feeling you do. It feels like she's the only thing that really makes me happy and at the same time i'm thinking this my mind also knows that what i'm thinking is toxic. I actually have a really good life and i'm pissing it alway on this girl that doesn't even pay attention to me. Sorry if I kinda lose you in this though I've never been the best at talking to people.

>>728484465
Do you have kik? Message me and gimme a little time to do some research and I'll try to come up with a viable solution for your dilemma.

Kik- matty_in_mono

>>728484730
Nah, just entering Uni now, late teens, early adulthood.

>>728484693
Came up north for Dubshed been getting odd looks from the Orange bastards.

Hey guys

Dunno if the thread will live any longer but I just wanna say getting a hobby helps.

Best hobby I can think of would be astronomy for sure. If you have the money to get a telescope, even a shite one, do it. Seeing things put there changes you. That light is travelling through time and space for you, for there are few who bother to look up. Even if you can't afford a telescope, all you need are some binoculars or just your eyes. If you can get away from the city its better still. I'll post some (shitty) pics I've taken on my (shitty) phone if you want.

>>728484304
Sounds like you may have a type of dissociative disorder? But i can understand wanting everyone else to make the first move, i am exactly the same. I sit and wait, and inevitably when nothing happens i get really depressed about it all. Us 'cunts' cant solve everything for you, but i think you've done the right thing asking for help. it means you're aware that you have this problem, and identifying it is always a good thing for helping you move forward out of it

>>728484337
The nervousness is apart of who you are. Be honest when you approach that you are nervous and no the best at talking to women. You'll come off as sincere.

If a person can't embrace large parts of you, they may not be the best to pursue for romance.

>>728484885
My phone is dead but I can start of a kik when it charges. Thanks, Anon.

>>728484730
Not true. My cousin gave me the best advice in my late 20's. I'll never forget it, I just got out of rehab after I lost my job and girlfriend because of a horrible heroin addiction, and I had to start all over again from scratch. During thanksgiving, he took me to the side and said "you know, your 20's is the decade where you make your mistakes, and your 30's is the decade where you make sense of your mistakes and learn from them. Don't give up and look forward to the future, because there's nowhere to go but up from here on out." This changed my life.

>>728485026
Nothing seems to interest me which makes picking up a hobby kindof hard. But yeah that sounds great man, post photos?

>>728484870
Nah man it's the exact same with me. I convince myself when I'm alone that I don't really like her, but as soon as I see her I catch myself staring or just smiling and shit you know? But the thing is I never see her do the same back, and we rarely if ever talk because we don't run into each other that often, and I'm too much of a little cunt to chat her up by myself, hoping hat there'll be this perfect opportunity where everything will go right for me, but at the same time I fear what would come if I was successful.

>>728477559
Anon dont worry about being able to sing singing should come from you dont be afraid to sing in the car because youre worried someone will hear it. Sing because you want to sing and if you still feel bad just take some lessons off youtube before it crashes and burns. Women dont even like full on beards stubble or clean shaven is the way to go. Dont worry about lasting most girls cant even last that long if shes not a dried up unsensitive cunt. And about the height thing. Your taller than me and the average grill so dont worry.

>>728484730
stfu nigger... anyone before their 25s is still a "teenager" somehow... until then u can make a good contact with feminazis if u do the approach

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>>728485243
I'll try but my phone is real shit

>>728484077
Please do continue. Make a new thread?

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>>728485429
That's Saturn, it's UFO-like shape is its rings (came can't see the gap between them and planet)

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>>728485554
Jupiter at opposition Friday

>>728485263
That's the thing with this girl. We live on complete opposite sides of the country and only see eachother at sporting events we both do. When I see her I get too nervous to talk to her. I told her about this problem, and she said that she's the same way so the three times i've seen her now in person we have said a total of about 5 words to each other. It tears me apart to be honest with you.

>>728485745
what are the lights on either side of it? sorry if its an obvious answer, i have little knowledge of whats going on up there

>>728485952
At least you fucking told her mate, more than can be said for me. If she knows what's going on and it's the same with her it's something to relate with and you should hit her up online.

>>728485007
>late teens

Then fuck off with that whining. Join a club or something at uni.

>>728473178
>Started getting anxiety attacks these few months
>Failing all my course's assessments
>Getting harassed by mother to move out
>Unable to get a job cause "you got to have experience" or "sorry anon, you're under qualified"
>Gonna smash that ejector button if the year's gonna keep rolling downhill.

>>728485205
I've been a social retard for 27 years, I can't start again, if I've never started.

OP here. If any of you /b/ros want to continue talking about whats bothering you, or just need someone to talk to in general, feel free to add me on kik: silencedlambs

hopefully you fucks wont bombard me with shit and make me regret this

Why does everyone I care for push me away haha

>Final Year of Uni
>Fucking up dissertation
>No jobs lined up
>Grandmother riddled with Alzheimers and recently put in home
>Mother is literally falling apart
>Dad is just quiet all the time
>No idea what to do
>In counselling but it does fuck all
>Gf broke up with me because our lives are going in different directions
>can feel the anxiety and depression coming back

What is life

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>>728485973
Those are the Galilean moons, Jupiter's four (three in this case) main moons. No clue which is which though. Also that light at top is just a random star.

>>728486451
unfortunately its what people do best

>>728484077
dont stop posting
cont

>>728486128
I have hit her up online plenty. We've been friends for a solid 7 months now basically over the phone. Recently she's been starting to lose interest however and i've been able to tell. She doesn't text the same that she once did and at times i can see she is ignoring me due to her liking instagram photos of people we both follow. I'm not sure what I did wrong, maybe its not meant to be? Either way it's been hard for me to get over.

>>728473178
I really like this girl in one of my classes. I honestly can't stop thinking about her but the thing is I know I'm never going to have a relationship with her. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seenand when she says anything to me I end up talking like an idiot and saying some dumb shit but she always laughs and smiles. She's going to find someone else, someone better than me. And that makes me happy I guess

>>728486568
Those are really cool! Thanks for posting and explaining.

>>728486905
If she laughs and smiles she still appreciates you man, don't underestimate that fact. You'd know if she wasn't into you at all, so try talking to her online if you're more relaxed like that, and get yourself built up to the point of asking her out somewhere, even if it's just for a coffee. Don't stress over it and if you can take her somewhere that you enjoy it'll be much more relaxed and enjoyable for you both.

>>728486905
If you can get her to laugh and smile you're already well on your way. And sure there are always going to be people out there who will one-up you but that does not mean you should put yourself down and not go for it. Try striking up a conversation with her, be it in person or online, and see where things take you?

>>728486816
Could be she's just got something else on her mind, but maybe she is just losing interest. I wish I could tell you she wasn't man but this shit happens sometimes. long distance is hard, but just remember not to forget to live your own life just because of a girl. If you become less of an object in her life, she needs to become less of one in yours.

>>728486932
No problem! Getting a new high power lens in a couple of days, will post newer pics then in these threads

i want to hang myself tonight but my brothers in the next room so he would hear also i havent slept in two days and ive been sick all week. just left work early specifically to hang myself

>>728487375
i feel kinda inspired to start actively looking into astrology now, i know you've only posted 'basic', blurry photos but it is actually really interesting. thanks anon!

>>728487495
If you have a brother that you care about, let him know how you're feeling man.

>>728487574
I think you mean astronomy, anon.

>>728487495
Please dont, anon. You havent slept, maybe try getting into bed and sleeping it off tonight. Hopefully you'll wake up feeling better. Maybe even go to your brothers room and talk to him (not necessarily about wanting to hang yourself, but it will help take your mind off of it)

>>728473178
Im in love of that girl its a fucking bitch she likes to show her nude body and videos to anyone and the thing is that i know that i shouldn´t be feelling this cause this will hurtme every fucking day but i just can´t get her out of my head any advice?

>>728487717
yeah that's the one haha. its 3am here I'm tired

>>728487343
Its been really hard for me to get over, but you definitely put me in the right direction in doing so. Thank you so much man. Magic of 4chan sometimes

I sacked up and told the girl of my dreams how I felt about her. She said she felt the same way but was nervous about starting a relationship. I played along, happy she was on the same page as me. Then, a week later, she tells me she cant do it. I feel so let on, and even though it was a week, it was a year and a half of building up to this one week. Now i feel crushed and cannot even bear to see her.

>>728487574
Astronomy is looking at space, astrology is a pseudoscience roasties about the zodiac. Sorry to be rude, but astronomers hate that

Anyways, it really is a great hobby to get into, and there are astronomy clubs everywhere if you just look them up.

Recommended reading, "The Light Hearted Astronomer" by Ken Fulton. Rather old book, but a good introduction to amateur astronomy while not being overbearing

>>728473178
If you're an awkward quiet fuck like me and you leave somewhere like a bar, do people talk about you when you leave?

>>728487818
No problem man, always happy to help. Focusing on your own interests and hobbies works wonders. For me it was music and languages. Always be building yourself up as a person, for yourself.

I don't think I've gone to sleep before 3am for the past 3 or so years.

>>728487799
UKfag?

>Have a gf of 4 years
>Quite nationalistic, she doesn't like it but doesn't comment on it
>She's kinda liberal, not a great match
>Also militaristic
>I suppose you could call me a fascist but I respect democracy and free speech and despise communism
>She breaks up with me, kinda had it coming. Quite placid so not so hard feels but still upsetting
>Nationalisticzealgrowsstronger.jpg
>Turns out she had some short shit lined up (i'm 6'3 and 168lbs/76kg)
>little shit's unemployed too, piece of filth
>receive message from ex, typical never loved you and whatnot
>kinda depressing
>at college, don't want to dissapoint parents but feel like i really want to join the army now

>>728488005
If it's a bar, odds are no. I've been the last in my friend group to leave a bar at times, and after a while I forget who left and just keep drinking. If they're your friends at all they'll be happy you came out at all.

>>728488132
Ay same here, even when i've got to be up at 6 most days of the week im still sat up at 3, 4am not being able to sleep. Life is well fun. But yeah I'm in the UK

>>728487966
Yeah i know the difference, just mistakenly typed out the wrong thing. And yeah I'll check it out now!

>>728487126
>>728487317
Thanks guys. I'll try and start a conversation with her next time I see her. She lives near and I see her on walks almost every day

>>728488273
what's up fellow britbong

>>728488005
I hope they don't. I'd rather not be remembered.

>>728473178
Failing relationship, either going to start cutting again, or drive into oncoming traffic.

>>728488273
You a social person or a recluse with a job?

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>>728474833
You can't feel lonely if you always been by yourself as your kid, even when I was popular and out every night with friends in college, I would feel better when I got home and relaxed alone on my computer. So when all that faded, I dropped out, started loosing friends as the years went on to the point where I have LITERALLY no one left and I am a shitty lazy cook at Denny's, it really does not feel all that bad this peace and quiet which is my life now. I am just saying this because kids should not be taught being by yourself is a bad thing, being a social butterfly gets you beat up, raped, and killed eventually.

>>728488353
One last thing, research is key. Before ever buying a telescope be sure it will satisfy you well, and don't demand too much of it. Also try and learn about space itself too so you can fully enjoy what you're seeing. Glad I could get you interested!

>>728488551
This too shall pass. A relationship isn't the whole world, no matter how much it may feel like it. People tend to forget to live for themselves. You're perfectly capable of making yourself happy, and in fact should focus on that first and foremost in your life.

>>728488395
why hello there, nice to know i'm not the only one sat up this late lmao

>>728488647
Both really, but I'm up that early for work

>>728488665
*always been by yourself as a kid

>>728488703
I feel like I'm only worsening myself by seeking justification and help from strangers on the most notorious website. But you're an alright guy.

My girlfriend of three years left me. She just lost interest because of what I do would do while she was working on homework. I'd just game all the time when I finished my work and I guess she just got tired of it. Now she hates me after I pleaded her to get back with me. I'm pretty sure she left me because our lives are going in different places. My depression came back, I apparently have anxiety, I've felt suicidal for months now. I'm pretty much waiting till I feel pleased seeing everyone I care about before I end it all. So I've got time on this shithole

>>728474069
I've moved from Romania to England 3 years ago.
For the first 2 years I didn't have 1 fucking friend. I had some acquaintanceş, but no friends. Then I met her. These last 9 months have been the fucking greatest of my life.

The moral of this possibly badly written story (I'm very tired) here is that you mustn't give up. Ever. All bad things come to an end eventually.
>This too shall pass.

>>728473178
too shy to confront pretty girls or just decent girls and girls that have significant interest in me, hopefully losing my v card will help me break the ice easier

>>728488934
Everyone needs to be told that they're doing alright sometimes. And asking for help, even here is always a good step forward. This is still a community, despite the reputation of this site.

>>728488665
>I am just saying this because kids should not be taught being by yourself is a bad thing, being a social butterfly gets you beat up, raped, and killed eventually.

What kind of stupid shit is that?

People here are so desperate for human contact that they're reaching out to other serverely maladjusted weirdos on chinese cartoon board.

>>728488665
Oh i am happier being by myself, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to when i really need it. I'd hate to be completely plagued with friends and social events, as im just not that type of person. But i get you anon, i literally have no one too, hence why i've had to turn to spilling my problems in a feels thread to complete strangers.

>>728484077
i feel for you man. in a somewhat similar situation myself and am currently fighting the urge to text her even tho every time I have in these 4 months she's been gone she's answered me with silence. It's brutal.

Someone who you give everything for and sacrifice so much just throws it away like its nothing and treats you like a villain. it's fucked. I too got little to no real explanation. I just want to know how she's capable of doing that. Throwing away a five year relationship like it was nothing. like we were just acquaintances or some shit. its fucked. Girl was my world, I gave her everything that I was and now I'm here just like 'fuck what do i have left' and to my knowledge shes already seeing someone else and her life is gravy. Fack.

It sucks dude. At least in my case, I just want to talk to her honestly. Have a nice conversation where I can take something from this whole situation and grow but like you, I'm met with either silence or complete hostility - which I have NEVER shown her in these five years.

People bro. People.

>>728488700
I'd only be looking for a cheap beginner one anyway just incase this hobby dies a death like all my others, but i'll defnintely look into it. thanks again :)

>>728488725
well I'm ill atm and I can't sleep and I'm on holiday so idgaf
what's been happening?

HAMIF REGAECTS CUCJUHAB
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpgcB1UnMOM

>>728488237
join the army and rid your country of commie scum

know that the love for one's nation is greater and nobler than anything else

that in this world of degeneracy, shine above them as a virtuous citizen who upholds his duty to serve his motherland

You don't necessarily have to serve in the army, but good for you if you do, to show love for your country

>>728489497
oh that a bit shit, get well soon. but yeah same here, on holiday but have a shit ton of work to do for college so just tearing through that. yourself?

>>728488970
Damn, why'd you move to Romania? That Mohave even a culture shock

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>>728489129
I am not those people though, they were brought up with different aspects societal expectations and not personal happiness and solitude. What ever happened to that word solitude? I am simply here observing and reacting based on my personal insight and observations.
>people here are so desperate for human contact
see that is the problem,. who decided that is vital for modern day living? Sure 1 or 2 close friends for someone to talk to or reach out to is a good thing but what happens when they are gone? Settling for fake strangers on fakebook or instashit? Wake up and be happy with yourself, appreciate more i say. I appreciate in America I can have a shitty job as a cook, pay rent and all my bills and still have money to buy whatever I want. Yeah I can't buy a yacht, but who said I needed something that expensive for self justification?

>>728489179
that is what you are supposed to do

>>728488846
I've taken an early holiday from work, cos it's just too stressful for a wageslave job but I've come to realise that without it I have practically no one to talk to.

>>728488665
thanks

>>728489852
gotta study as well cus I have exams in a month, wanting to get a part time job as well so i actually have money as well. i had to take my little sister to ghost in the shell, she's one of them weeaboos, denies it but calls herself an otaku, which is apparently someone in japan that's socially awkward lmao. It's funny that she's the one that disliked it too. she's going through those early stages of puberty as well so I really just want to punch her in the god damn throat some times as well.

>>728490144
Checked and I feel like insecurity is the real problem these days with what you said.

>>728475342
thx anon

>>728473178
My friends just stopped talking to me. It has already happened 3 times. I started to wonder if it´s something wrong with me.

>>728490144
There is a big difference between solitude and loneliness. And two, human beings are social creatures, the fact people here unironically have waifus and reach out to bastards on the internet cements that fact.

>>728473178
>bunch of shit I've spewed here before
>Sexual aversion, social phobia and isolation, treatment resistant depression
>Can't stand myself or anyone else; not even friends
>Can never stop thinking with multiple trains of thought
>Can't enjoy anything anymore, it's all a distraction

>Started to microdose shrooms
>Shit's still shit, but less shitty
>Going back to therapy on Wednesday after a 3 year hiatus

>>728490144
That's the dumbest thing I've read all day.

>>728490182
Ten years ago I had hundreds of friends. Now I have four or five. It's all normal.

>>728490451
There's something wrong with your friends man, find new ones. Could you give me some context though?

>>728490300
aww, brothersly-sisterly love haha. good luck with your exams and shit, man. yeah part-time jobs are always a good start, really free's you up money-wise

>>728490182
ahh fair enough, im always trying to get time off work for that exact reason. it feels so pointless. work my ass off for them only to receive a little over minimum wage, its horrific

>>728490771
well good luck with your college work as well. i'm gonna lurk somewhere else and see if there's any good threads around but if not I might go to sleep. if I can't i'll try and see if I can break my record of 7AM, cya later anon.

>>728490631
I was friends with anon 1, then i moved out of the city and had no internet so lost all conection, then i had a good relationship with anon 2 who i told everything and she did too but then she got a job and hanged out with differente people and making excuses to not see me. i know they were bs cause we live like 2 blocks apart. Then i got in a relationship with anon 3, i told her about my depression and how i felt and she told me she cared but no we haven´t talked in a month, she just uploads pictures of how great her days are. Now i am alone, no one really close to me to talk

>>728490629
>>728490144

Don't want to come across as rude but I don't think you understand or can understand my position. A lot people say they understand loneliness or isolation, or say they're depressed when they actually mean they're sad but I don't think they're experiencing the same thing.

I have zero friends all my life and 1 or 2 rotating associates. This is isn't normal.

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>>728490453
Loneliness can only manifest out of your own actions and not personal beliefs, I felt lonely as fuck when my ex gf left me to be a pseudo lesbian since that is hip and cool these days but that gf of hers is no dyke, and realized she wanted a family with kids, so my ex and her do not even talk anymore. I will never take back my ex for that act of desperation and acceptance in this modern faux society. I felt so lonely I wanted to smoke and drink my self to oblivion and death, but once I took a step back and realized it was nothing i was doing wrong, I felt so much better with myself after the fact, hence solitude and just kept trucking. And here I am working a job, have a house, a car, no debt, no extra bills, with my options for tomorrow endless, i can leave for Hawaii tomorrow and still come back home with a couple thousand in the bank but I don't need that experience to feel better I already do. This is because of the solitude I felt as a kid by myself playing weird games alone away from the local kids, i still beat them at bicycle jumping, pokemon card and video games, etc. the usual things kids do as kids but by myself I could actually think and gain personal satisfaction with the little things I did.

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>>728490617
you are dumb for thinking you need human friends fake or real to be happy lol

>>728491054
godspeed

>>728490919
I was this close to punching one of my manager's head in, and I'm not a violent or even intimidating person but christ, the shit they pull cos they have a title...

>>728491206
Anon 1 is unfortunate, and the same thing happened to me with what was at the time my best mate. Can't be helped I'm afraid, but you move past it. Anon 2 wants to fit in with a new crowd, maybe because they want to try their hardest to fit in with a popular new group. They have their own problems, and you should try your hardest to cut them out of your life, if they're doing the same to you. You need to make an effort with Anon 3, and if she isn't making the effort back, you can either tell her that or just cut her out too.

4th day on antidepressants and can't get it up. I don't know about this....

>>728473178
i wonder why whites are so bigoted, I have never seen a bunch of people more butthurt and retarded than whites

what a bunch of losers

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>>728473178
I wanna get drunk but don't have enough for beer. Could any of you anons buy me a drink for this shit lord?

>>728473178
im just sad all the time, i think im going to die soon i keep feeling these things in my lungs. just wanted to tell someone thanks anons

>>728491226
it infuriates me for some reason when people say they are depressed, when actually they are just having an off day. if only they knew the extent of it, eh?

I'm almost 20 years old and I don't think I've had a single close relationship with anybody, not even my family. It seems like there's nobody on this earth I would feel even remotely comfortable talking to. I've had two different jobs and I'm pretty sure I only got hired because they really needed me, and both of the interviews were very awkward. I'm just a fucking creep around women, basically always looking at them or staring of into space or something. I don't know how much eye contact is acceptable so I avoid it all costs

>>728491459
What antidepressant? SSRI's can do that to ya. I'm currently taking 20mg Paxil and can't jerk one out. Shit sucks.

>>728491553
Because they're being ethnically cleansed in their historical homelands and it's fashionable to celebrate their demise and they're blamed on everything that's wrong with the world.

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>>728491459
Go on a different one (you are probably on citalopram right?)

>>728491458
ty i´m working on it, it just hurts cause anon 2 and 3 told me that i was important for they but then not really giving a fuck.

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>>728491226
It isn't normal to think you are supposed to have 100's of friends as the decades go on, hey if you are cool and in some kind of club hey that is normal and people give you recognition, but for the average joe, why put that much more stress and expectation in your life. Only a fool would think you are not supposed to lose friends here and there as the years go on, a very foolish self deceiving fool..

I can see why people make them selves more depressed by the opinions and expectations of others..

>>728491684
Cipralex for me. It's annoying because everything else about them seams to be ok but being impotent is kind of shitty on the ego. And I wonder if it could damage that in the long run.

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Im a mess. I hate my body. Why do girls never find me attractive. Nobody is really gay when they say they are.

Kik is RedMatzoo

>>728491879
Generally not

>>728475342
coward

>>728491815
It's easy to say something without meaning it. It sucks when people are careless like that. Try to make some connection with Anon 3, but if it can't be helped getting hung up on it won't help, trust me. You're allowed to feel down for a little while, but you need to pick yourself up and move on. I've said this before in this thread, but live for yourself first in this situation, do shit that makes you happy, get a hobby, find some good music.

>>728491779
Escitalopram AKA Cipralex or Lexapro. Don't they all do that though? I wonder if it's ok to take viagra with them if I'm about to get lucky.

>>728492010
I hope not. I wouldn't mind just taking them for a couple of months to get me out of a funk. I really don't think I need them long term.

>>728491644
Tell me about, a person I know insists that he is an introvert and subdued person but fuck me, he is not even close to being introverted. I mean, we were having this discussion and at the end he literally danced away to talk to a (pretty) customer.

>>728491772
>Because they're being ethnically cleansed in their historical homelands and it's fashionable to celebrate their demise and they're blamed on everything that's wrong with the world.

except they aren't and yeah they did invade other countries and fuck up their systems, so why get butthurt when they get blamed for it?

>ethnically cleansed in their historical homelands

by who? Last I checked it was white cleansing jews and native americans, blacks and Indians..

they aren't butthurt about it are they?

>>728491879
Nah man, being impotent goes away after you stop taking it.

>>728491983
mind if i add you up, anon?

>>728491845
Did you not read the "zero friends" part, or did you just want to be a smug bastard?

I don't want 100s, I just want a few good friends.

>>728491459
Try a different one. It happened to me when I was taking Sertraline. Could get it up, but had a really hard time getting off. Really didn't like it.

>>728492200
>by who? Last I checked it was white cleansing jews and native americans, blacks and Indians..

Um yes. Muh six grazillion etc. And they are being ethnically cleansed. Diversity is for white countries only. It's being pushed admittedly by white progressives and Jews and on the white side that has to do with them being brainwashed and guilt tripped into thinking they are the only ones throughout history who engaged in conquest and atrocities in war because the happened to be really good at it. All bullshit. No white guilt here.

>>728484077

Honestly typing out all of these details is kind of bumming me out, so I'm just going to give you the super condensed version.

>During the times where I was tired all the time, my best friend got me to do meth, but I kept it to a minimum
>I had been friends with my ex's sister way before I even knew her as well as another friend, they both won't talk to me
>I spend most nights sitting in parking lots now to avoid my father, because we always have some kind of conflict
>Told my best friend to fuck off over an incident where he got angry with me for taking his keys from him and driving him home when he was plastered
>Only have two friends who I have found out aren't pieces of shit, but both can only rarely hang out

Things were starting to look better, but

>Meet this girl who turned out to be this girl that would always talk to me when she worked at a gas station I frequent
>Had gone on a couple dates previous to this, didn't feel anything for either
>Didn't want to fall for someone so quickly after all of this
>She is perfect in every single way, and we clicked instantly
>She's super nice, smart, cute, the works
>Even told me she liked characteristics of me that I'm insecure about, and I didn't even tell her about any of that
>Literally everything I've ever wanted in a girl
>I don't even think about my ex while I'm with her
>Things finally starting to feel a little better

>She joined the Navy about 2 months prior due to a life freak out
>She leaves for Basic 8 days from now
>She's going to be gone 4 months, comes back for 1 month, and then is being stationed somewhere for 4 years.

>>728492407
Did you try another one that didn't do that?

>>728492200
Holy shit, stop feeding the troll.

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>>728492369
i am not trying to be smug, just trying to help, sorry, hopefully those few good friends understand life like you do and are there for you. For me they were not, and the 4 or 5 i did considered as good friends really just went their own way in life, it was just a matter of time no matter how much we hung out or talked about deep things. Just wanted to let you know that so when you are completely alone in the end, it is not that bad. But me being a semi isolated to myself kid as a kid really helped with what my life has lead me to today, a kitty helps, we respect each other in my house, a dog is too easy for companionship.

>>728492498
Yeah. Since then I've been on Venlafaxine and Fluoxetine. Haven't the same horrible effect that Sertraline gave me.

I still don't think it's been the same since I started taking antidepressants. I don't feel like jerking off as much as I used to, but at least I still can.

>>728493120
>hopefully those few good friends understand life like you do and are there for you.

Christ, you're not even listening.

I never had any friends. I'm in my late 20s, I have never had any friends.

I've known loneliness my whole life.

>>728493519
Yeah I'll have to think about it. Sort of a trial period right now and thinking do I really need to take these things? I've done this before where I take them for about a week then just think nah. I don't know if I buy this notion that you need to take them long term necessarily. Hell I took them last year just to get me through the Christmas season blues. Didn't really have any trouble coming off them or anything.

>>728492451
>Um yes. Muh six grazillion etc
that's a fact though, just because it triggers you doesn't mean it didn't happen

>No white guilt here.

nice buzzword you got there, guilt for crimes committed by your group is pretty common and non psychopathic I'd say

>Diversity is for white countries only

other countries don't bitch so much when they get immigrants, unlike white chimps who start chimping out when they see some non white people

Besides, you need immigrants to keep your economy running given that they generally bring money with them when they come to western countries.

>guilt tripped into thinking they are the only ones throughout history who engaged in conquest and atrocities in war because the happened to be really good at it.

Except its true and well recorded fact? trying to white wash it isn't going to change history, is the sarcastic tone supposed to make me forget that whites committed some barbaric crimes in other continents and fucked their countries up in many ways?

That isn't a story made up by someone, its a well known and well recorded fact.

Again, whites chimp about things that have actually happened and dont want to acknowledge the shit done by them.

>>728492992
lets see what the poltard has to offer

>>728494812
Yeah nice try faggot. Still no white guilt here. Please grow a brain.

Today I fucked up because he fucked up, and he didn't even know it. It wasn't his fault; he probably doesn't even realize what he said. He has no way of knowing what those words brought up for me. But I realized tonight I am a lot more fucked up than I thought and I can't keep doing this. I need help.

Got a gf today. Always had feelings for her. She broke up with her bf and asked me out. Literally the happiest day of my life. 5 hours later her bf messages her saying he wants her back. She chooses him.

>>728489091
doesn't get a (you)

Feel like I'm wasting my time loving someone who either doesn't care as much or doesn't care at all

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>>728494812

in my mind is a really fucking big desire to draw
but im just too lazy for it...
fml

>>728495449
Had that feeling for months...

I need some advice anons

there's this girl I'm talking to. We met online and started texting. Hit it off quite well texted nonstop. I text her and she opens it late at night and said (this is all in snapchat btw)
"Swrry I just saw this now
And I'm sleepy af
But I didn't wanna leave u hangin"

from past experience I know this could be the start of the end. My theory is being confirmed even more, I texted her again today and got left on read. Here are the options (scenarios) I thought of

A) ask her if she wants to continue chatting
If no/left on read just remove her as friend and move on

if yes, could cause awkwardness because she may ask (or think) why did I ask? and that just leads into a downward spiral and make shit awkward or it may work but I'd to plan out responses

B) Play the waiting game and if I don't hear from her just remove her as friend and move on

any advice anons?

>>728495014
>Please grow a brain.
says the poltard

>>728473178
A girl I've been really growing fond of for the past couple of weeks told me her ex that she still loves messaged her and wants to get back together. And she told me that she wants to give him a chance and, well there you go. She told me any girl would be lucky to date me so there's that I guess..

>>728495066
thats the vaguest shit i've ever read

>>728495075
shes gonna cheat on you just like she did on her bf

>>728495900
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwXrBe4QbMU

>>728495807
sad shit, right?

>>728495878
Your jumping to conclusions anon. Just relax and don't get anxious about it. If you do you will make a bad decision,assume things that aren't true, or push her away.

>>728495075
Well now you know she's a dumb fickle slut. Better move on.

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>>728473178
I started living out on my own just a week ago. I didnt want any roomates because of prior experience but now im coming to realization how fuckin lonely its going to be now im out of my parents. This most human interaction I'll get now is at my job.

I cant say i didnt want this because i always said i wanted to live alone. But fuck man its gonna take a little to get used to

>>728492481
fuck man... just keep trudging through the mud

>>728496352
>>728496108
Yeah I'm not really sad about it but even so, bitch got my hopes up, then stomped them. Now I'm gonna stomp her tits so hard she drowns in her own tit milk.

>>728496158
>poltard doing poltard thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kXih_JPpuA

>>728495066
Want to talk privately? I have time

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>>728493783
good

lucky fuck

>Our relationship was perfect talked every day and night
>Had to move away for military but i we’ll be back together in 5 months
>First month is everything is great
>Tells me never to stress about her and focus on work
>I always stress about her cause she was so far
>After a month she becomes a little distant and stressed out from work
>I understand and giver her space
>Her vacation day is approved and we plan out our weekend
>She flies in and i have never been so happy to see someone
>Hug her kiss he and tell her i love her, never let go of her hand till we get to the hotel

>Never let go of her through the night
>Leave next morning to go back to base
>Leave as soon as possible that day to see her again
>Shes waiting for me in the room when i arrive fireworks in my chest again
>Had a great day and afternoon
>Take her to nice restaurant, walk on the beach
>cold but she enjoyed it
>She talks to me about marriage so we can be together at my next unit
>I say yes and we’ll figure it out on saturday
>Never let go of her again that night
>Love her with all my heart

>Wake up and she’s still in my arms
>Take her to breakfast
>Have another great day took her to the zoo (she loves animals)
>Take her to lunch
>Take her to stores buy her a few things and just enjoying my life
>Take nap wake up with her telling me how much she loves me
>She asks if she can see her female friend at a tailgating event for a concert i said why not
>On the drive there she said i should get my own beer so i'm not rude
>I say are you going to drink
>She says she’ll have 1 or 2
>Show up get greeted by her friend and have a good time talking to everyone
>Everything seems to be perfect

>>728495269
>feeling bad for what you did is being a cuck

OK poltard

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>>728495228
at least they never left you

>>728496221
more frustration than sadness really.

>>728496719
>Going to leave the event case we don't have tickets
>No big deal
>She seems angry for some reason
>Get back to the truck she's angry and i'm too drunk to drive
>Get in the truck on the way back to the hotel she's angry cause i don't let her have a good time
>Drunkenly ask how did she not and she says cause you got drunk and i couldn't drink
>I said you could have told me and i would have sobered up to drive
>She says she wants to be alone and independent
>I get angry and start asking why
>Ask why we can't talk it out
>She says she wants to see the world and i said i'll be moving to my next unit across the US
>She says she wants to see more
>I said i'll be moving every 3 years
>Get back to the hotel
>Im pissed and she's pissed
>She start packing saying she's staying with friend (concert friend)
>Beg her not to leave
>Never seen her this mad
>I start to tear up asking her to please stay and talk it out
sking if i'm at the hotel
>Say i'm at the base cause i drove here
>Pass out
>Next morning i see a text asking me to drive her to airport and maybe talk about last night
>Remember most of what happened
>Begin to feel like a major dick
>Pick her up and she's so mad
>Won't even look at me
>Wont pay attention to anything i'm saying
>Say last night i was out of control and a dick and and ass
>I say i'm sorry 1000+ times
>Arrive at airport
>Open her door and giver her a hug
>She's pushes back
>Feel my heart drop and die
>Watch her leave out of my life

>>728496817
>Start yelling how everyone has left me
>(parents haven’t talked to me in months, rest of family hates me cause i’m in the military and not a doctor or lawyer)
>She leaving and i say fuck this and start packing up
>In my blind and drunken rage i check out and see her in the parking lot waiting for taxi

>I say i'm driving back to base
>Way to drunk to drive
>Have open bottle of wine in hand
>She says don't do that
>I don't listen and get in my truck and leave
>Drinking wine and talking to her friend about what just happened
>Her friend tells me to stop driving
>I said no and keep driving to get back to base
>Hour drive later
>Don't make it base stop at bar and run a 80 dollar tab up on beer
>Drink 18+ beers and can't walk

>Ask base bros to help back to base
>They pick me up from bar
>See one missed call and text a

>>728496551
Better she did it now than two years down the road. Consider yourself lucky. Dodged a bullet mate. One thing though if she'd just broken up with her bf and then is asking you out the next day it's a sign that she's a heartless cunt. Your feels for her probably got in the way of seeing that obvious red flag. Next time try to keep the old hormones in check. They really can take over the brain and it's dangerous. It happens to the best of us.

>>728496271
I tend to to do that but just within a day it goes from texting for hours to just that and then no texting and I have no fucking idea why

>>728473178
whats the name of this artist, i see him all over the place in these threads

My partner just recently revealed to me that she was raped three years ago while she was showering at someone's place. I can't sleep much anymore knowing that. I'm mortified knowing someone did that to her. I wish she could make him rot in jail, but she didn't trust the local authorities with the information at the time.

I don't know how to feel about it at this point, really. I think it's normal for me to be angry beyond a point of reason after hearing that. I want beyond anything right now to just show everyone the man's face and what he's done, but I don't know who he is or his name.

>>728496877
my text got a little fucked up. beena bout a year now still not over how she rubs her new bf in my face every once in a while. i would fix my text but theres no use im tired of telling my story and frankly tired of life.

>>728496052
Yeah I know. Basically, a guy who I was having fun with said some shit that reminded me of when my exhusband almost killed me. I thought I was dealing with it- apparently I'm not. Is that specific enough?

>>728496884
Thanks mate. I probably should've seen it coming. No gf in 3 years will do shit.

>>728496723
They didn't do it you retard. And where are the turks grovelling about the Armenian genocide and the enslavement of white (slavic people) for far longer and under more brutal conditions than the black slaves in America. Oh yeah silly me they're not white so the don't have to and funny how you don't see slavs bitching about it. Also maybe the blacks who sold their own into slavery should apologize too. And the Jews who ran the merchant ships. Or better yet maybe everyone should stop whining and grevance mongering. Take an example from Ukrainians who you don't hear a peep about the holodomor from (perpetrated by Jews none the less) and take their past suffering with a quiet dignity.

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>>728473178
I remember back to when I was junior high aged. I was at a family gathering and was saying goodbyes. I had gotten to meet some relative of mine for the first time and she was very irritating. As she hugged me goodbye I made a sickening expression to the rest of my family that only they could see, so that they might all know my distaste for her. I avoided that part of my family up until today, years later. Looking back on it I feel terrible. She was really just a sweet lady who wanted to express her care for me. She died recently.

>>728473178
When she said this:
"The thing is, I think I'm sure i like wowen more, a little part physically yet mostly, mentally. it's one form of love, an affection. With woman being around i feel at home, I'm my true self..."

Wut do? I like her but I'm a dude

>>728496624
I appreciate it but no. Vague shit on the internet is about all I can handle right now. (I do appreciate the thought, though. Good of you to offer.)

>>728497444
nice trips, and alright if you wish. Thank you! Hope things work out

>>728497257
Tell me about it. Didn't have one for 10 years and got into three disaster relationships over the past six years. I think I'm just about done now. Maybe I'll just get a dog or something.

>>728497257
Also her bf who took her back. What a cuck! His funeral.

>>728496779
indeed

>>728497630
yeah, I'll be okay. trips means everything's going to be okay, right?

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I would really appreciate some help with this, /b/ros. I've never felt this way in my life, I promise you. And due to that, I have no idea what is going on, what I'm feeling, or how to handle the scenario. I must warn you though, I believe this is somewhat cliche. The only reason I ask for help is because I genuinely have no idea what to do.
I've been on this earth for only 20 years, but by that time I think most people form connections with others. There's at least someone, somewhere that you can relate to. Due to a past I can't bare bringing up. I wasn't particularly capable of forming attachments to others. I had friends, and potential relationships, but I just didn't "feel" it. I was confident, and that attracted people, but I always was the one who ended up walking away to a new group of people.
I finally met someone I care about. Someone who I genuinely truly enjoy talking to. Someone that makes me willing to get up in the morning, and someone that I would take a bullet for. (Mainly because I believe her to be a better person than I, not due to some cliche love).
The problem is that we've never met in real life. I know what she looks like, and she's beautiful, but any chance of us meeting anytime soon is very slim. I don't even know if she feels the same way as I do. She is without a doubt the kindest and most genuine person I've met. I'm blown away by our similarities, and could talk with her for days straight with 0 qualms.
Due to this, I cannot "catch" if she is simply being kind back when I compliment her, or if she truly feels the same way. It's making me actually go insane inside. Like I've said, I've never felt this way before, so I have no idea how to analyze and solve this problem. This seems like something people would speak of in high school, and I'm ashamed I feel this way, but I genuinely have nobody to turn to. I'm going fucking crazy over this person I've not met.

I guess I feel pretty lonely. I see all my friends already having kids or about to have one and I'm just here working 8-16 hour shifts. I barely go out or hang out with anyone. just drink a few and call it a day

>>728497378
we all make stupid judgments of people, especially when we're young

>>728498255
exactly, combined with those dubs. Nothing can stop you

>>728486905
How's your first year of high school going?

>>728497952
I hear dogs are useful for getting pussy. Might help. If it does, you have a gf, and a doggo.
If it doesn't, you still have a doggo.
No way to lose.
>>728498214
Lol. Looking back, she was pretty fucking rancid.

Thanks /b/ros. Needed this.

>>728497016

Continuing this.

I have to drive back home tomorrow. It's a long way home and I tend to get sleepy behind the wheel, but I can't bring myself to sleep with this in my head.

Anyone have any tricks to fall asleep fast?

>>728496516
High five! Was just talking about that a couple posts up.

I lived alone for about 2 weeks while I was moving house. OK for the first few days, til the internet was cut off and it literally me, by myself in my flat, alone. I was continuously grunting out loud at a few points, cos the silence was deafening.

I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I don't know what to feel. I feel like I am now more of an out cast and burden.

I just wanna feel normal is all

>>728498249
what were you planning to draw?

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I'm finding increasingly few reasons to live. There are times at night where I try to take inventory on myself and try to figure what kind of a person I am. When I do that I start thinking of suicide less of an act of self destruction and more like turning off a machine that never worked right. I don't feel things get better, I don't think they can at this point, the most I could do is keep things from getting worse, and that just means stagnation. I never go outside anymore, I don't talk to anyone outside of my family on occasion. I don't really feel passionate about things and I can't recall the last time I felt fired up to give something my all. All the way through high school and my limited employments I never felt like I gave 110% on something. It always came down to bare minimum or half assing it, somehow justifying it to myself that it's good enough. I've never excelled at anything. I don't think I get along with people too well, because I eventually do or say something stupid and it drives them away over repeated occurrences. I have this tendency to insult people I care about, and I don't know why, I can't place it. Sometimes I think it's funny, but their reactions make me realize to the contrary. I have no meaningful skills, and at points in the day I don't feel attached to anything, it's difficult to concentrate on a single thing. I've spent hours looking at "suicide prevention" articles, and I find myself becoming increasingly hostile and spiteful to help in general. Like I can somehow justify still having an ego to not get help. I don't see value in a person like me. I get close to doing the deed but I always stop short because I get worried about some things, like who will have to find me, what if I fail, or how my family will feel. My weakness is sensitivity to feeling, and I really wish this personal act would only effect me. That's the only concern.

>>728498739
Asmr, maybe? Always works for me.

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I have been interested in this girl in my life for the past few years.

I finally gathered the courage to start trying to date her and ask her out

We hanged out a couple times solo and with friends. The day comes when I finally ask her out on a real date but the day actually turns into the day where she told me that she was "uninterested, unavailable, and interested in being just friends."

for some reason I can't move on and deal with being "just friends".

She's still in my life and I see her around, I still have feelings with her and I want to talk to her again but I can't deal with the thought of being "just friends".

How do I cope with her and deal with being just friends?

>>728498454
Fuck I can't even stop crying...Are you the same person who wanted to talk

>>728499068
Yes I am, are you ready now?

My friend is dying, I can't help him. He's writing letters for all of his friends after he dies, and I hope I never get to read it, but I know I will.

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Moved to another city for reasons, work at computer, no friends, alone as fuck, i just get out of home for food and supplies. Depressed but not suicidal

>>728499231
waddup xara

>>728499146
I don't know. maybe...how

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>>728473178
>persona 5 is out
>no game
>no ps3/4
>no muny
gotta wait for that ps3 emulator to make progress, hopefuly before spoilers start nuking

>>728499626
How to talk? whatever you have/want, kik, snapchat, phone. ill post mine, you dont have to post yours. No rush though, just letting you know

>>728477559
Are you fucking kidding me, okay, first of all, nobody gives a shit that you can't sing. Nobody. It's a talent to be able to sing, not everyone has that talent, fuck, a lot of people don't.

And 5ft7? Fuck off, being short means nothing. I'm the shortest of my friend group by a long shot.

And your beard? Shave it. I can easily grow a beard, don't care for it, I shave it. Shave it.

And use your fingers or your mouth to fully satisfy a woman you fucking dunce. If that's all you can complain about, you have it good.

I miss my ex bf.
He was my best friend. we used to talk a lot and about everything. it's sad that the distance tears us apart. i wish you here
i still talk to you in my head and i have so many things to tell but i can't.
I'm sorry that i didn't reply your last message, i was afraid. I hope you remember how much pain you've caused. :(
I'm still sad but i miss you. i think i'm a hopeless romantic

>>728500021
i wish you were here' sorry

I'm going to kill myself tonight.

>>728500333
nice trips

>>728500333
You can't. Some just told me that trips means everything is going to be okay, so you don't have that option.

I somehow miss my abusive ex gf.
I just wanna cuddle with someone and say "I love you" and shit.

>>728500021
Why did you break up? It's hard to be friends with an ex. I've thought of it many times but know that it's a bad idea nine times out of ten. I sometimes wish we'd have just been friends in the first place but what can you do? I guess you just have to accept that friends come and go eventually as hard as that can be. Maybe if you're still thinking about how much pain he caused it you still have a lot to get over though and re connecting could only make that more difficult. It's a cliche but time heals all.

>>728500333
literally a sign of God