How often do you think about suicide?

File: Errday.jpg (126KB, 500x315px) Image search: [Google]

126KB, 500x315px

errday nigga

(also yui>ritsu js)

>>728049180
Every day

>>728049320
Ritsu is best cumrag

>>728049338
I have honestly tried every day for a week

File: 0a131de56dd347a5acb6cdf29fa8f7bb.jpg (214KB, 1000x1079px) Image search: [Google]

214KB, 1000x1079px

>>728049479
nahh fam

>>728049479
how did you try?

>>728050018
OD on benzos and alcohol, also tried to hang myself with a belt but I was too pussy to go through with that

Exhaust in garage.

>>728050346
Damn anon

File: IMG_2628.jpg (72KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 800x600px

>>728049180
Probably every day

>>728049180
Every day at least a little bit. A dude I know just tried 2 nights ago actually. He's a pussy though

>>728050134
Youre not trying very hard. You domt really want to die

>>728050620
Do you know how he tried?

>>728050134
benzo's and alcohol sounds the way to go, what happened you just woke up later or?

Whenever i get depressed, which comes whenever it pleases, and that is only if i let it get the best of me...

Multiple times a day

>>728050710
Thanks mate

>>728050744
Yeah just woke up later with a headache, kept trying more but didn't work then I ran out of Temazepam and my valium

I use to think about it every day every second when I was heavily depressed, now maybe once a week?

you need cucumber https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVos8ZJIJoY

>>728050862
Try the Helium exit way

>>728050930
That's good to hear anon

>>728050930
How did you solve your depression?

I do think about it a lot I always think about how it would to go to sleep and never wake up

File: 1490420209203.jpg (42KB, 728x522px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 728x522px

every hour or so in average

Daily. Only thing stopping me is not being able to see the pain it causes people. Maybe I'll fake it one day to see their faces.

Every day, multiple times a day. But, I don't act on it. I care too much about the people around me.

Had a cousin just three months younger than me go off in the woods and shoot himself in the head just under six years ago. I won't put my family etc through that.

>>728050134
Opiates in that mixture increases the fun factor.

>>728050739
Fuckload of pills.

>>728051821
Had the usual success rate. He woke up but fucked up some organs

File: rare.jpg (2MB, 2448x3264px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2448x3264px

Pretty often as of recently.

I have spent the past year in isolation since I ended a long term relationship and have just begun returning to the world.

Made some friends in the airsoft community and also am advancing in my career.
I am in a constant battle with my mental illness, try to say that without seeming like a tumblrina.

I am now a licenced gun owner, and ending my own life is now literally at the tips of my fingers. I try to force myself to go on, because every once in awhile something comes along that makes it all worth it.

I hit a very low point about 2 months ago. Probably the lowest I have been in a long time, coincidentally that is what lead me to my airshitting hobby, and a recent self discovery has lead me to look more into auto a e s t h e t i c s.

Would be nice to have a woman in my life I guess, but I got some serious mommy issues; and to be honest; deep down.. women scare me.

I have had a few concussions which has lead to me slowing down a bit mentally I have found. Not intelligence wise, just can get a little confused at times; pretty depressing when I think too much into it but I can play it off sometimes.

Feeling kinda empty at the moment, like I am missing something important. Summer is coming up, want to spend a lot of it outside rather then in my computer den like I did last year.

Maybe I will find a woman again, wouldnt be the first time. I am 20 and still living at home complicatedly. Have no plans of moving out until my sister graduates highschool (which would be June of next year)

I dont know I will figure it out.

To answer your question again, yes I think about suicide pretty often. I am not 100% sure why, but the thoughts are there. Real question is am I low enough to actually act on these thoughts?

Not sure yet, I know I want to die somewhat young. I can't see myself growing old. I have a degenerative nerve disease amoung other issues and my body will begin to fail be before old age gets me.

I want to die for a purpose.

>>728049180
Daily. It's nice to be aware of my death.

>>728053140
What was your low point 2 months ago?

>>728049180
never. Even when live is shitty there's still something to look forward to. If you're thinking about suicide it's a hormonal imbalance go see a doctor.

>>728052329
Damn

>>728053140
I'm almost 29 and I was the same at that age and it's pretty much continued until now. Women might bring you up now, but chances are they will push you lower than you are now. If there is a way or reason to get out of it, I haven't found it.

>>728054232
Yeah. It was clearly a feeble cry for help. I can't even pretend to respect the attempt

>>728053455
Answer the dubs you fag

File: PRAISEKEK.png (202KB, 622x625px) Image search: [Google]

202KB, 622x625px

>>728053455
Long story short
>Get a gym membership in september trying to get /fit/
>Get some personal training to show me the ropes and all that
>Went in knowing about my nerve condition, but didnt realize my full limitations
>Not able to really do anything because of a pinched nerve in right arm
>Stop trying to lift and go full mobility excerise
>spend 2 weeks in another city as part of career schooling
>Out of gym rhythm and stop showing up entirely
>Call in and cancel my membership in December
>Fast forward 2 months
>get a call
>Gym head office
>"lol give us 1000$"
Was already kinda feeling down before they told me that, but it knocked me down a whole new level.

Just layed in bed, didnt eat, didnt move for 24 hours. Slowly worked my way back up and was feeling a bit more resilient after I got back up.

Explained my situation to the gym head office, told them about my disease and how its unfair they offer contract severence in the states with no penalty for med conditons, but in Canada we must pay.

They canceled it and sent me a full refund for the money they pulled from my account that month, and the previous month. Definitely lifted me up.

ended well, better then I expected.

>>728054528
Glad it ended well anon

File: IMG_1367.jpg (39KB, 445x512px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 445x512px

Every second every minute every day I think about it

>>728054707
This is what I mean by 'waiting for the high points' in my life.

I dont want to miss out on opportunity, I kinda want to wait until its just my time to die. Sometimes I wish it was sooner though.

>>728054528
>>728054418
Sorry I called you a fag, clearly you were typing. That's not too bad though man. I'm 25 and I felt similarly to you when I was younger. Concentrate on succeeding at what matters to you. For me fixing my career situation has helped a lot. I'm overall quite a bit more successful. I'd say just focus on succeeding and you won't feel quite so bad in a couple years

File: 1474599425380.gif (826KB, 696x478px) Image search: [Google]

826KB, 696x478px

>>728055045
Focusing on my career is what I am thinking too. It's a lonely, depressing path though.

Securing myself a financial future should be my only concern at the moment.

I think about it semiweekly or so

Then I brush it away because I know if I die the probability of me living a full and honest life is 0%

>>728049180
I have everyday for a few years.

File: 1490596994164.jpg (90KB, 526x701px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 526x701px

>>728049180

I used to think about killing myself four or five times a day. I'm not kidding. This lasted about two years and I also developed panic disorder.
I wasn't trying suicide constantly (I did it seriously three times), but I didn't have a life because I was always suffering with something. How did it end? I've ended up with my ex-gf definitely after several discussions. After six months without seeing her and shit, I'm not thinking about suicide anymore. It's been two years. I never thought she had anything to do with it. But by now I think suicide is an reaction of our mind to the way people around us are influencing our life.

>>728055240
Got friends?

>>728049180
regularly. But death scares me more than life still so I've never done it.

File: jews_image09.jpg (164KB, 456x600px) Image search: [Google]

164KB, 456x600px

>>728053140
kill someone from the rothschild family

>>728049180

average 3 times a day

>>728055362
OP here, honestly I feel like it's the same with my gf

>>728055379
There are people in my contacts I could text right now. Would not call most of the friends.

made the mistake of losing contacts while in my last relationship. Looking back dating her was a mistake, very possessive trailer trash.

Dont regret it, more so; see the error of my ways back then.

I live in the downtown area of relevant Canadian city. My plan this summer is to get out more and expand my contact list ten fold.

>>728056048
And you will none the less satiated

People are dependence, and dependence is what gives you the means for feeling vacant

Make friends, not contacts

File: 14877054983470.jpg (54KB, 384x300px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 384x300px

It's too boring. I chouse self-destruction

>>728049180
several times a day.

the money is almost gone

>>728056048
Yeah man just make some good friends. That's what keeps me going. Friends and family I genuinely want to die less now because I'm successful

https://discord.gg/PVmXUtx

Suicide method discord get in here fags

honestly, everyday

>>728056653
Discord is a vector of suicide

Free yourself of this mutual Hell

And stay anonymous

>>728056048
Good luck anon

File: 1490595376318.jpg (67KB, 700x525px)

67KB, 700x525px

>>728055953
End your relationship with her then. Death is inevitable. You're going to die whether you want it or no, at one time or another, and this can happen before you can even imagine. So why waste your time beside someone who makes the simple act of living undesirable? I wouldn't go back to my ex for a million dollars. And it was only when she pulled away from my life that I finally realized that. Being alone sometimes is better.

>>728049180
On average, serious contemplation about once a quarter over the last decade. It's stochastic though, so some years are better than others.

Naturally, I've never succeeded at it though or I wouldn't be here to make this post. Derp.

Usually I find some way to talking myself out of it. Most often involving some version of not wanting to break my mother's heart by making her mourn her child. Sometimes I find some shread of hope that things can improve. Sometimes I find some solace in the notion that at least I can still (insert some trivial bit of socialisation here) so it's not all bad.

Had some dark days once. Real dark. plotted it out in a way where I might've been able to arrange a fatal motor vehicle 'accdent', but some how I managed to freakin' walk away from that. Surviving an attempt does weird things to your head. I mean a real attempt, not that pussy cry for attention shit teenage girls pull though.

>>728058004
Lemme hear your plan for that accident and how you survived it. Tl:Dr it if need be as thredsded

>>728049180
Plenty

File: 1480537668849.jpg (71KB, 900x900px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 900x900px

>>728049180
everyday

>>728049180
Never anymore :)

AMA

>>728058743
What's it like to be a faggot?

>>728058792
It feels good, I'll be a faggot 1000 times over if it means I don't exist in the void where I think about killing myself

Who's the real faggot, huh? Huh?

Life feels good again, it is blissful

>>728059002
Faggot detected

>>728058743
What changed you?

>>728059379
Cock

>>728058483
Bretty simple really. Commute home involved left turn at level crossing onto the highway with narrow shoulders.

At certain times of day there's a lot of truck traffic.

Pull out onto highway infront of heavy decaled super bee suddenly and get t-boned in the drivers door of your econobox.

Shoulda gone pretty quick based on what I read about this car and it's accident testing and the crash test dummy.

Double plus is that it would've looks quasi accidental and been easier on mom. It's okay to hurt yourself, just not others.

Trucker breaked harder than I thought he could. Heavy load decals were forgotten about so I missed the timing and got flung across the road into the path of another heavy truck. Bounced off that one and wound up in the ditch without a scratch on me.

Felt seriously transcendental afterwards. Highest high I ever had when the paramedic should my shoulder to wake me up.

>>728059668
Wew lad. Exciting stuff

>>728059487
Well that won't last.

At least a few times an hour.

I don't want to die but I think about suicide every day.

After I cum, 100% of the time with no exception. So about 4 times a day

>>728059379
Two things I think:

1) I went on a proper breakdown and tried to run away from home, had a big scream and cry about how life's completely different from how it was when I was younger in a park I used to go to when I was a kid. It had a sort of cleansing effect, like I let out all my bad emotions at once

2) I've started going to therapy, and the therapist is actually really good, not bullshit at all. We've identified some issues I have and we're defeating them with logic 1 by 1. For example, one of my issues was where I feared for the bleak pointlessness of my future as a wageslave, but we worked out that I was treating it and my unhappiness as a certainty which was silly considering that nothing had even happened yet. Another one we're working on is the idea that I have intrinsic value independent from external factors, meaning that I don't have to feel inferior when people accomplish more than me because my worth is not tied to these external things. This one takes time though and is difficult because I'm so used to my old mindset

Not on any meds either

>>728060249
What kind of therapist? I've thought of that a lot but I kind of tend to think psychiatry is a crock of shit.

>>728060554
Sex therapist. He basically just fuck me

>>728059834
>Wew lad. Exciting stuff

I know. Sounds like I made it up. I'd show you the pix of the written off car, the hospital record, and the ticket the investigating officer issued me for 'unsafe entry into an intersection' so that the insurance would slide cleanly against my out of state jurisdiction but all of this would be just a little too self identifying and it's one thing to occasionally be suicidal, quite another socially to be known for it.

I've seen folk ostracised for it. they needed love. Didn't get it. Threatened it, and got called weak. Guys don't get to be weak in our modern society. Hence line above about attention antics of girls.

>>728060686
I agree. Show no weakness. I believe you as much as I ever believe anything on /b/. Grain of salt and all that

>>728060554
That's what I thought too but I'm amazed at how genuinely effective this one is.

Idk what 'kind' she is, but I'll describe what we do. Basically I identify some area where I'm not happy (e.g. feelings of inferiority) and I identify exactly what I feel (e.g. need for external validation, I feel like my achievements are undermined by the achievements of others, etc.), then I bring these thoughts to our session and then we explore why I might feel the way I do and we actually sort of debate about it. By exposing the flaws in my thinking and my arguments we actually weaken the foundations of my bad feelings because they have no logical basis.

I used to think of killing myself everyday.. but then God-Emporer ran for president. Trump saves.

>>728061045
Might've been an artifact of growing up in hick country. Being weak was seen as queer and god damn was being gay essentially a death sentence. Would largely crush any local career aspirations you might have. 'Cause if you were friendly to a homo you might be a homo.

Grew up in a bigoted place where 'Gay' and 'Faggot' were standard insults that you could get away with using nearish to adults. At least as much as you could get away with 'damn' and 'crap' as opposed to 'fuck' and 'shit'. I recall being cautioned by my old man about being careful in my colour choices for stuff. Never have or openly use rainbow anything except specifically if dealing with spectronomy.

>>728061557
I think I'll try it. Hell just to get me out of isolation a bit might help.

>>728061893
Is that why you wanted to die? Secretly gay?

File: 1491277607759.jpg (61KB, 719x681px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 719x681px

at least 15 times a day

every 30 minutes

>>728062396
No. In later years when I've lived in other places I investigated that possibility. Dudes just don't turn me on.

>>728062750
Then why you wanna do it boi

Nearly everyday, is there anyone here that isn't suicidal?

>>728062919
Inability to live up to economic expectations mostly. Sometimes inability to maintain relationships. It's interrelated.

The fact that everything is always all about managing freaking relationships and that sad-sack pieces of shit who suck at actually doing the jobs are the ones that managers keep.

I think about it a lot more when my alcoholism is kicking my ass.

>>728062291
Good luck :)

Make sure you tell your therapist if what they're doing isn't working

To be honest a lot of the stuff I do with my therapist I could just do myself, I would just have to take her side in the debate myself but I would still be the one identifying my problems and the assumptions that underpin them myself. I just like getting a second opinion and her rubber-stamping what I say

What do you think your main issues are precisely? What bad feelings do you have?

>>728063262
>>728058743

>>728063761
Don't know where to start with that really but it's a bit chicken and the egg with drinking. Became an alcoholic over about the last 15 years of my life and it's reached a point where I get unbearable anxiety on at least a weekly basis and drink so much that I feel as though it could kill me within the next few years. I've tried to get to the bottom of what causes that but it's pretty well impossible, as you said when you can't have a second opinion or feedback on it.

>>728063300
Anyway, it's late. I'm tired. I got stuff I should do tomorrow and maybe some tiny shred of achievement will keep me going for a bit longer.

I'll check back in the morning if you have any parting words in the archived thread.

Suicide is for losers and I'm a winner. So never.

>>728064160
I think we have to fix the anxiety because if we fix that then we fix the drinking!

What's the anxiety over? Is it about situations that you know you're going to be in later in the future? If so, are you convinced that something bad is going to happen in that scenario? Or is it because you have no idea what's going to happen and the uncertainty is what worries you?

>>728065278
It's mostly about the future I guess or seaming to have a lack of one. Floating around in a state of existential nihilism with no close friends and been unemployed for a long time. All adds up.

File: 1491354777893.jpg (263KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

263KB, 1920x1080px

>>728065615
I had a similar issue that I discussed with my therapist. My issue was that I could only see bleak wagecuckery in my future and thought it was all pointless. Somewhat related is that I kept thinking from the perspective of me on my deathbed thinking back on my life and whether I would be regretting the choices I'm making now.

We solved it by challenging the certainty of the bleakness of the future. I was acting as though it was already set in stone, but in reality nothing had even happened yet and there's no way to tell what's going to happen in the future! Anything can happen! I genuinely hadn't even considered that my future was hadn't even been written yet. We also solved the 'deathbed' issue by saying that if I thought like that then I would have spent my entire life on my deathbed rather than actually living my life, and that I had to live in the moment a bit more or I would definitely have regrets in the form of regretting doubting myself so much.

Is that relevant at all?

>>728066321
>I kept thinking from the perspective of me on my deathbed thinking back on my life and whether I would be regretting the choices I'm making now.

I do that all the time. I just hope I'm not too late as I'm middle aged and have liver problems. I've kind of almost been successful at a few things but sabotaged myself every time and I have no idea why I do this.

>>728066738
You just have to remember that if you were really on your deathbed, you would regret spending all that time thinking about the things you would regret!

What things were you nearly successful at and how did you sabotage yourself? What does success mean to you? What would make you ultimately happy?

i think about it before bed. It helps me sleep. theres a way out of this redundant shit hole. i just care too much for the people I'll leave behind. white priv undone. keep breeding muds. enjoy your radiated cesspool when we're gone.

>>728067192
I had a few music industry jobs and have been successful in terms of technique as a musician but I fucked it all up with my drinking basically. Also often if I had a gig I'd get myself all anxious about it and fuck it up. I think I'm afraid of success.

Do you guys know if making that pocket of air in your veins with your first actually works? Saw a picture a while back showing how to do it, dont know where i have it saved though

>>728067547

Fist*

>>728067547
dondu. too much pain. other ways are better

>>728067771


But if it looks natural and like it happened at work i'm sure my family can be compensated somehow

>>728067547
Nah it's bullshit

>>728067539
What happened in the past is in the past, and it in no way has to shape what happens in the future. There's no telling what could happen in the future. Don't think there's nothing in your future, because you don't know! That's the great thing about it, no one knows for sure. We try to extrapolate and in doing so we have a tendency to think of the future as set in stone, when in reality nothing could be further from the truth. The future hasn't been written yet!

>>728068240
Yeah I guess so. In terms of happiness that's a tricky one. But I guess that's why I'm supposed to work that shit out with a shrink. I'll give it a go. Seeing my doctor this week after I called the ambulance with my last binge drinking episode. Had this terrible anxiety thinking I was going to die alone right there and then in my apartment.

>>728067919
Apt pupil

File: 1491356464835.jpg (59KB, 1280x824px)

59KB, 1280x824px

>>728068623
>But I guess that's why I'm supposed to work that shit out with a shrink.
Until the sweet oblivion of sleep takes me I'm your shrink :)

What is it that you've aspired to all your life? Material acquisition? Acknowledgement from peers? To live a certain lifestyle?

Also tell me more about yourself

>>728049180
parker? is that you?

>>728049180

All the time; I already have my plan for when that dark day comes.

I'm going to tie cheese wire around my neck, superglue my hands to each side of my head, and then jump off a ten story building.

When they find me it will look like I ripped my own head off.

>>728068901
For a long time my biggest aspiration was to be a successful musician but as I became more of a drunk and made very little to no money at it over the years I got burned out. Then I went religious for a while (Catholic) and aspired to some sort of monk like life. Then I aspired to find someone to settle down with and have a family and that was kind of a three strikes and your out deal with three relationships going tits up. So I'm kind of at the phase now where I'm disillusioned with all of it and have no idea where to go from here.

>>728049180
not often enough

occasionally. I'm getting better i think. today i thought about how sick of self loathing. getting up and thinking how useless i am and how i have no future . using on-screen keyboard btw

>>728070137
Agreed. Thanks for that. My old priest friend once told me "your an enthusiast. Be careful because enthusiasts burn out." He saw right through me.

>>728070502
Definitely

I myself am trying to live in the moment more and just appreciate joy and pleasure as they exist in the present. If we spend all our time thinking about the big picture then it gets depressing because it seems like there's no point to anything. But actually humans feel much happier, I think, if they limit how much they think about that and instead focus primarily on the here and now, simple sensations of happiness.

As I said before, if we spent all our time thinking about what we'll regret about our lives on our deathbed, we'll have spent our entire lives on our deathbed.

>>728049180
Every day mein negro. The only way I prevent myself from doing it is by not having the means to do so around me.

>>728071738
Bet you got a tall building around you

File: parade1_3468416b.jpg (437KB, 620x387px) Image search: [Google]

437KB, 620x387px

>>728049180
Everyday, but there are still things I want to see and do.

File: 1490273504695.jpg (90KB, 736x736px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 736x736px

>>728056048
Keep your head up man! I work from home and spend most days without any significant human contact. For me, writing has helped channel some of the negative thoughts and let me reflect on what is the root cause of much of them.

Also for the gym, would you be able to do any kind of swimming? Maybe with a kickboard for a few hundred yards every few days? I've seen some pretty damaged bodies and joints make recoveries after a few months or gradual progression. In my late teens I was trying to gitgud at lifting with friends but didn't take it as seriously as I should have and injured my shoulder. I'm just barely able to bench any substantial weight , but swimming has helped that too. At least for mobility.

I really want a rifle just for distance shooting, but I've been sleep walking since my last official relationship ended December 2015. I wake up and find electronics taken apart so I know it's be capable of basic mechanical manipulation.. like loading a gun (maybe opening a safe? Idk). If anything I'd get one and keep outside of close reach, which kind of defeats the home security benefits lol

Anyways, you seem like a pretty stand up guy. Best wishes and good luck with everything!

>>728049180
never really i'm more of a denial/hopeful type of person

File: s-l300-1.jpg (8KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 300x300px

>>728049180
Basketball

>>728049180
Everyday more or less.
But I can usually dismiss those thoughts with a bit of effort.

>>728049180

Admit it, were you unfulfilled with your existence when you posted threads just for comf, and just not suicidal? Cause everytime I made a thread I sure wasn't feeling on top of my life.

bbuump

>>728076734
Kill yourself

every day, even though I don't think that I'm depressed

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.

>>728078825
Maybe you are but you just don't know it

I'd be lying if I said daily, but I'd be grossly understating it if I said weekly.