>ITT we all pretend we work at the same Target.

>>727727069
Dude, can you cover my shift? I don't want to be here.

>I said STOCK THAT SHIT NIGGGAAAHHH

Hey John do you know who took my turkey sandwich my wife made from the fridge?

>>727727069
WHY DO THEY KEEP SHOOTING AT US???!!

Someone shit on the floor in the mens bathroom. I'm not cleaning that shit, make Josh do it.

The Electronic Razors are in the Health and Beauty department.. Just because it says electronics does not mean its in the electronic department

>>727727921
why not debra? shes a bitch, make her do it

Here sction 3. We still need 40 gallons more blood.

>>727727831
Kek.

i hate it here

>>727728097
shut up matt

>>727727483
No faggot, I got shit to do.

>>727728026
You know it's the MENS bathroom? Ah fuck it, we are target and let trannies into the womens bathroom what's the problem. DEBRA LINE ONE. DEBRA LINE ONE.

I'm the nigger co worker!!


"I ain't a slave bruh, I ain't gonna work hard all god damn day. I'm takin a break"

"Yo lemme catch a few dollas for lunch bruh I'll hit you back"

>>727728097
Goddamn it Matt. We ain't got time for your negativity.

>>727728253
I'm not doing you fuking capitalist pig

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do

>>727727069
(the sound of a gunshot)

Because I'd rather kill myself than work in retail!

>>727728415
Listen I pay you 2 dollars an hour you're gonna get in there and clean that shit or you're gonna be back on welfare you nigger cunt

*MANAGER TO THE FRONT*

That smelly guy is here to stare at Karen again... he shouldn't be allowed to come in more than twice a day.

manager said we only get a 5 minute lunch break.

>>727727782
yeah that was me dude. munchies bruh

Hi everyone, I'm here from corporate

Could you please fill out these surveys regarding your satisfaction

>How would you describe your experience in working with the Target family?

>Do you feel empowered to make decisions in your immediate position?

>Please provide any other feedback as necessary

YOU MOTHERFUCKERS BETTWR BE TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT REDCARDS

>>727728876
Dude you honestly sound like HR when I worked there

>>727728776
Oh man, I was really looking forward to that, Ill let it slide this time but please dont do it again

>>727728967
Dont let him get away with that Joe. I bet he banged your wife too.

>>727728876
5, strongly disagree.

>>727728876
Is this anonymous?

If so:

>How would you describe your experience in working with the Target family?
A jobs a job. Friday shift staff are cool.

>Do you feel empowered to make decisions in your immediate position?
I'm getting paid shit all to do shit all work. My only decision is whether I bother turning up on time or not.

>Please provide any other feedback as necessary
Stop with the corporate wank

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Gather round gang, i need to have a quick meeting with you.

Okay, as the manager I know you all look up to me and hope to be in my position one day. But you guys need to get your shit together. The shelves look awful guys, we have towels in electronics, Tampons in men's clothes, and who is working the registers? We only have one running. Great job by the way Lisa, you're doing awesome, see me in my office later.

Alright guys, back to work!

>>727729069
Hey cmon Bill, thats not cool, you know my wife died last year, I'm just trying to be nice to the new guy

>>727729069
I don't know, i mean its not like half of the employees fiddled her a few times

>>727728948
Anon, please try to position your feedback more constructively

Thanks,
Jonathan

>>727729294
Hey fuck you! You were at her funeral too! You cried with me dick... I thought we had an understanding

>>727729267
Im just the greeter, not my problem

>>727729267
How about you actually do something, fag

>>727729274
Joe, your wife killed herself because youre a furry.

>>727729634
You guys are all so mean to me, stop making fun of my wifes death, im in my 50s and i dont have the heart to deal with this, what the heck is a furry anyway? dont make me call HR

>>727729752
Dont go there Joe.

>>727729838
Dont tell me what to do asshole! I spend all day greeting people and putting on a big smile but then when i turn around all you guys do is make fun of my wifes death and im getting sick of it!

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>>727727069
GIMME ALL THE CASH IN THE REGISTER NIGGUH!

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>>727729585
Actually, we have been getting complaints of you not having such a great attitude. As a greeter you need to be happy! Energetic! Warm and welcoming! Just work on it, I know you've got it in ya!

>>727729586
I'm running this ship like a fine tuned machine okay? I have to control all you pot smoking high school punks okay? So don't tell me what I need to do, that's my job. And don't you EVER use the F word in this establishment. Target is LGBT friendly and you're lucky I'm a cool boss, I'll let that one slide.

>>727729906
She killed herself Joe. Calm down. There's nothing you could of done.

>>727730023
>>727730013
Id have a better attitude if everyone else didnt treat me and my late wife like garbage

>>727728741
Well consider that a good thing because I heard from Dana from customer service that the general manager ordered our manager to get rid of lunch breaks altogether

>gtfo out the womens bathroom bailey

While you fucking idiots where talking some kid just walked out of the store with the 20 pack box of pokemon cards.

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>>727728000

Y'know, after 4chins Inc. went under, I thought I'd be doing better in my life. Guess I was wrong, stuck in IT at a fucking Target.

-Alex, IT

>>727727069
Does anyone wanna form a union? Just don't tell that faggot Kevin because he'll probably tell corporate.

>>727729168
I see you're a straight shooter anon, you would make prime management material.

Are you interested in being part of a fast-paced team responsible for developing and supporting company initiatives to maximize supply chain efficiencies within Target’s Global Supply Chain?

>>727730426
Last time I was in a union, the union got fired. We're too disposible for a union.

-Alex, IT

Better not let Suzie in HR find out.

>>727730353
Its okay, they were gen 5 cards

>>727730486
Does it have a nightshift option?

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Quick poll everyone, who would attend my funeral if i killed myself
-Joe, greeter

>>727730540
Do you want $20 worth of stolen Gen 5 cards coming out of your paycheck? Because it's coming out of security's, HAH.

-Alex, IT

>>727730355
well done, asshole

>>727730500
We're stronger together Alex, remember that. If we get one started here then maybe we can convince the fags from the Target in the southside of town to do so as well. They can't fire everyone from both Targets man. Lighten the fuck up.

>>727730630
>Scoffs at your ludicrous question

Head office positions are typically 9-5 roles, however may involve night/weekend work as required by the business

>Jots down how you wouldn't make a suitable candidate

>>727730638
Joe, calm the fuck down. You get to sit your fat ass down and say hi for a few hours and go home. You have an easy-ass job. I have to fix the displays every other week because some faggot kid keeps downloading trojans and corprate won't let me get antivirus.

-Alex, IT

>>727730782
>>727730500
Hi team,

It's Jonathan from corporate, what's this union funny business I'm hearing about through the grapevine?

>>727730782
We're in a nigger-high area. They can just cycle the niggers for years, man. We'll never be not disposible with this many jobless niggers.

-Alex, IT

>>727730880
You think I have it so easy dont you? every night i go home and cuddle a picture of my wife for 5 hours before drinking myself to sleep.

-Joe

>>727731001
Kevin you motherfucker.....

>>727731001
Johnathan, weren't you from 4chins Inc.? Damn, that was forever ago.

-Alex, IT

I've never seen anyone buy popcorn from the popcorn machine on the counter in the Pizza Hut.
>don't trust it

>>727731098
It was a year ago, Joe. Move the fuck on and plow new pussy. Just not mine. Depression might be an STD with you.

-Alex, IT

Demarcus, can you please stop bagging produce with lawncare products.

>>727731029
Mr. Jonathan sir, I uhhh...we were just...we...we were simply discussing the possibility of getting together in order to seize the means of production or something. No need for alarm sir.

>>727731256
Im in my 50's Alex, I will never find new love, its over for me
-Joe

>>727731110
No one said anything about Kevin, but please, feel free to voice any thoughts you may have about the current corporate structure

>>727731029
Oops, wrong fag

>>727731128
I'd prefer to not discuss past roles, Alex

Thanks,
Jonathan

>>727731001
Mr. Jonathan sir, I uhhh...we were just...we...we were simply discussing the possibility of getting together in order to seize the means of production or something. No need for alarm sir.

>>727727069
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLNjJGvgsLs&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=Xaos08

asking everyone to check out my new youtube channel check it out for grate gameing

There is this weird guy at the girls toy aisle, he has been there looking at the pink horse toys for like half an hour and a costumer told me it's creeping out her and her kid. What do?

hey, am I supposed to go on break right now or cycle to register? I haven't had a break yet.

I'm always stoned on the job. Don't tell the manager with huge tits

If you guys think im so useless why dont you give me a better position, id love a spot in security

-Joe

>>727731467
>Quietly takes you to the side

Wake the fuck up, anon. Why would you want to seize anything with these niggers. Just come work for corporate

>>727731487
Just offer him a coupon for a free 12oz ICEE in order to lure him away

I gave that god awful company 7 years of my life and I'm glad to see them slowly going under

Backroom was pretty chill though and I still got to run a mile of dick through so many sluts up there

>>727731471
Go fuck yourself

>>727731599
Those aren't tits, that's just a really fat guy. I'm the only female thing on this damned workforce, faggot.

-Alex, IT

You guys wanna steal some Nintendo Switches when they come in and sell them for profit?

>>727731727
You're saying I should turn against my friends sir? What do I need to do?

>>727731444
Hey I remember, you're that guy that never came to work and only got hired cause you're dad's a VP:

excuse me do you work here?

No Kelvin, OSHA is not some hood rat bitch from around the way.

>>727731908
Get a nice suit and say you understand the business from the ground up

And if your friends are smart they'd do the same. Everyone else here is doing a nigger job

>>727731551
Sorry anon, Stephanie called in and said she was not going to be able to make it...guess who's closing...

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>>727731797

>>727731908
Don't, electronics are like the only thing that comes out of MY pay. Steal plushies or some shit and buy the Switches with the money you get from sellig them.

-Alex, IT

>>727732092
Stephanie? You mean Stephan, that faggot tranny, right?

-Alex, IT

>>727729267
>Lisa, you're doing awesome, see me in my office later.
You're not gonna bang her, dude. She's just here for the paycheck

You guys arent even talking to me anymore, fuck you assholes, im taking my break. If anyone needs me ill be stealing liquor from the alcohol section

>>727731942
Yes but I am on my break so fuck off dipshit.

>>727732064
But I am a nigger sir. We're all niggers.

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>>727731942
how can I help you today, anon

>>727731551
Dear valued employee,

Here at Target, we take great pride in proving the friendliest and safest shopping environment in the nation. When an employee is on break, we cannot provide and sustain a level of customer satisfaction that meets Target's standards. In place of breaks, we will provide you with a complimentary $5 Target gift card along with your bimonthly check! Thank you for understanding and for your cooperation.

-Target World Services

Roll to burn down building

>>727731797
>>727731487
Ouch. Now this is realistic.
I work at Walmart and my store manager ALWAYS bribes angry customers with $15 gift cards. We never get complaints. They just go from 100% pissed to uber chill as soon as they hear about the gift card.

>>727732200
Yes, supposedly she said that she had an anxiety attack after someone pointed out her dick and balls hanging out from under her skirt so she said he didn't feel like coming.

>>727731366
Then fucking do it, Joe. You're a waste of space that can't bang.

-Alex, IT

>>727731808
>I still got to run a mile of dick through so many sluts up there
Let's keep out imaginations realistic, Billy.

>>727732248
She doesn't work here. He just bangs her and she leaves. She's just a slut.

-Alex, IT

>>727732608
I just want a purpose

-Joe

>>727728612
Josh here fuck you debra thats why your husband left you cunt

>>727731897
Fine, I'll steal them and make the money myself! I might even keep one and play the games on it!

>>727732682
>he bangs her
You mean he pays her to let him bang her, Alex.

>>727732746
Are you ignoring me? Steal literally anything else! Switches come out of MY pocket!

-Alex, IT

>>727732746
Have fun when someone tells the manager also hit me up we can do it together on the down low

>>727732746
Gasp! Stealing? That's...w-when do you want to do...c-can I steal with you?

>>727732825
No, she does it for free. I should know, she's my sister.

-Alex, IT

Hey cool cats, any job openings?

After i buy this lube and 12" dildo for... my gf, I'd like to hear about job opportunities within the company

-Mike

>>727732945
We can all go out with a bang
-Josh, tard wrangler

>>727732899
That's not my fault, faggot. I gotta make more money that I do here somehow.

>>727732906
>>727732945
Meet me in the toddler section at 5:00

>>727733083
Yes but no bang please, girls are scary and I want a Nintendo Switch so badly but I can't afford one because I work here.

-Jordan, Autist

>>727730355
>>727730684

Drain the Swamp, Faggot >>727727069

>>727733158
Look, as much as I hate Johnathan for fucking my sister, being a general douchebag at 4chins Inc., and hogging the nonexistant loli floor at my last job, I will go to him to protect my tiny ass paycheck.

-Alex, IT

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Guys don't go into isle 3

>>727733281
If you suck my dick, I'll give you the one I was going to keep.
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727733281
We all can't afford real things because we all work at target at minimum wage
Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727733342
Alex if you even try, I will beat your fucking ass. We don't get payed enough to deal with moms trying to get the Switch
- Corey, Mastermind

Who keeps putting their dick in all the peanut butter?!? Seriously, I put a jar aside in the break room.

>>727727069
if you don't roll dubs, you're fired

How do I fuck the girls in their early 20's that come in with their parents? I need to slip them my number somehow.

i have to fucking clean up the kids isle. its fucking annoying. those little fuckers make huge messes.

"Guest assistance required at HEALTH AND BEAUTY who is responding?"

WHO PUT THE BLEACH IN THE JUICE AISLE!?

>>727733961
No one. Who wants to fucking go there?

Which one of you fucks keeps folding back the "H" on the hass avocados it was funny the first time but I swear to god if I have to go fix it again i will stab someone
-Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727733412
Isn't that what a faggot does? I don't think I like faggots.

Jordan, Autist

>>727733435
The 3% employee discount allows me eat.

-Jordan, Autist

>>727732309
excuse me, how dare you talk to me like that in front of my 8 children, all of whom are running around causing problems for you young staffers.
I demand to speak to your manager.

>>727734090
I thought you were a tranny, Jordan.
-Corey. Mastermind

>>727734148
Fuck you, stupid whore. You fucking make me clean out of the fucking kids isle every night. Go suck a cock, cunt,

>>727734148
Hi, I'm a new manager here at this location. What seems to be the problem.
-Frank, New Manager/Ass kiss

>>727734090
All we can afford is the target generic brand crap
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727733961
*BZZZZT* guys who is responding? We have to resoond with a sense of urgency! *BZZZZT*

>>727734438
The fuck do you want, Gerald?

>>727734286
Hi yes, this young man >>727734276
is causing me a great deal of embarassment, i hope you can give in a warning or disciplinary action, and give me a discount.

>>727734438
*BZZZZT* Go fuck yourself. *BZZZZT*

>>727734206
Oh no, those trannys are the ones trying to destroy our all-consuming void in r/place.

-Jordan, Autist

>>727734291
It's an acquired taste, but at least it keeps us alive to witness the eventual assassination of Trump

-Jordan, Autist

>>727728876
No raise no survey. Go away you fucking Jew.

>>727734607
We don't do discounts. I'm very sorry for that. But I assure he he will get a stern talking to. If there's anything else we can do, just let us know.
-Frank, New Manager/Ass kiss

>>727732465
How much do you make per hour? I'm thinking of switching this LGBT garbage

>>727734673
At least we can go on an actual crusade soon
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727734673
Then forget that I asked you to suck my dick. You can just steal an extra one.
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727734590
Need someone to respond for health and beauty *BZZZT*

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>>727734648
*SHHHK* For you, *SHHHK*

-Jordan, Autist

Who's responding to the backup cashier call?

*crickets*

Who put the bleach in the juice aisle?
-George Shift Manager

>>727734850
I'm here now, Gerald.
-kelso, schizo

>>727734879
(You)
-Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727734856
*BZZZZT* Shut the fuck up, Jordan. Do you want me to fuck your crush again? She's never gonna like you, bro. *BZZZZT*

>>727734789
Hail Satan

-Jordan, Autist

>>727734825
You're still my friend, even if you are weird sometimes. Isn't it great being here?

-Jordan, Autist

>>727734971

Well I was about to go to lunch but fine...

-Bob

>>727734988
*BZZZT* do you want to get raped again by me jordan can watch*Bzzzt*
- Josh, Tard wrangler

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>>727734879
EVERY FUCKING TIME. I'LL NEVER GET THIS FUCKING ZONE DONE RREEEEEEE

>>727735122
It fucking sucks here, Jordan. I'm not your friend. You just hang around us at work, and we're force to see you.
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727735216
Josh, you can't rape shit. We all know you have a baby dick.

>>727734988
*BZZZT* YOU CAN CONTROL THOTS BUT YOU CAN'T CONTROL MY THOUGHTS, WHICH IS WHERE I AM HAVING SEX WITH HER *BZZZT*

-Jordan, Autist

>>727734988
That chick has AIDS. I gave it to her. Just sayin.

-Tyrone

>>727732991
Why would you know that Alex?

>>727735233
No, that's Bob. Not all white people look the same, Corey. You should know this by now.

-Jordan, Autist

>>727735287
*BZZZZT* That's why she thinks you're a freak. Jordan.
-Corey, Mastermind
>>727735289
Because I told you she was easy, Tyrone. You fucked her after me. Now I have to use a condom since you fucked up, you nigger.
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727735285
True but its enough to get my work done
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727735220

Oh and you have to zone C block and D block since Ron is out sick

Hey Joe, somebody took a shit on the floor in the Starbucks. Be a pall and clean it for me

>>727735427

just because im white bald overweight and depressed doesnt mean I look like every other person that works here

-Bob

>>727735626
fuck you do it yourself
-kelso, schizo

>>727735503
FUCK ITS ONLY 1 HOUR LEFT TILL CLOSING. FUCKING ROBERT! WHY DID YOU CALL SICK?!

>>727735695
I'm out on lunch and I need it done.

>I need it

>>727735216
I'll bring my super 8 camera. I'm taking photography for my elective so I can get some good practice footage while you guys make babies without permission.

-Jordan, Autist

>>727735435
Yeah well, if she thinks I'm a freak then why did she say good morning to me on Thursday? Bob saw it! Right Bob?
>>727735122

-Jordan, Autist

>>727735861
k, ill do your shit work, but you owe me 20

Yo, Did you see that new lingerie shipment that came in? I might yank some and go on break for a bit, Can you handle the register, Jeremy?

>>727735879
I can edit the footage since I'm trying to get into tv and films for my career
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727735470
Shut up, Josh. Go back to stocking the DVDs
-Corey, Mastermind.
>>727735879
She said hi because she feels bad, dude. I told her you liked her and she literally gagged.
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727735985
ye, not jeremy but ill do your fucking work.
you always need a good wank
-kelso, schizo

>>727736016
Stop fucking copying my major, Josh
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727736016
LOL! Put a mustache on her face! That'd be classic!

-Jordan, Autist

>>727736047
Back to wrangling I enjoy our talks
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727736173
How many autists looking for MLP dvds have you had to deal with today, Josh?
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727736084
'Preciate it, Kelso. See you in a half hour.

-Jak, perv

>>727735924
I'll mark it as overtime on your check. Since the pay period has ended, it will go on your next paycheck.

>>727736047
See? She feels bad. That means she wants to like me, but can't. Yet. See I'm playing hard to get, I read it on wiki how.

-Jordan, Autist

>>727736093
Real talk I want to work for legendary they always make good movies or something where I can perfect my craft its a fun career choice and I enjoy doing it
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727736275
dont worry bud.
-kelso, schizo

>>727736232
Most of my day is that
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727736315
Why haven't you gotten fired yet?
-Corey, Mastermind
>>727736336
>Legendary
>Good movies
Not with Man of Steel and Batman v Superman.

GAWD Lace is great. Im Back boys, Who'd I miss?
-Jak, Perv

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>>727727069
What could it mean?
Is it secret FSB code greenlighting the crimea invasion?

>>727736415
Why haven't you brought a spray bottle to work so you can spray them with it?
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727736441
That was a ass movie but the new king kong was actually good its usually a hit or miss with them but I enjoy most of their works
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727736441
Because the manager feels bad for me, too. I'm riding the gravy train, Corey. I think you're just jealous.

-Jordan, Autist

HEY GUYS! I SET UP ANOTHER LOLI DUNGEON IN THE BASEMENT! DON'T TELL CORPRATE AND WE CAN KEEP IT!

-Aex, IT

>>727736631
can i come?
-kelso, schizo

>>727736631
Aex, you fucking genius.

Jak, perv

>>727736513
I use a lighter and aerosol can that scares them away for good
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727736619
No one is jealous of you, Jordan. They just want you to leave.
-Corey, Mastermind
>>727736587
It's just so they can make a cinematic universe, because everyone needs one now for some fucking reason.

>>727736631
A whole dungeon huh? That's a lot of sugar! You know if you get an Indian on the wrapper you get good luck!

-Jordan, Autist

>>727736737
Why not just burn this place down already then?
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727736777
To keep cucks watching shit movies and making more money because jews run hollywood
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727736737
burn this shithole down.
the managers a fucking tool.
-kelso, schizo

Guys, 420 in the bin room, lets get hiiiiiiiigh af

>>727736777
It's what brings in the money, Corey. The money. It's why we are here.

-Jordan, Autist

>>727736958
bringing some acid and some fucking dmt.
les do this
-kelso, schizo

>>727736904
Youll Kill the Loli's, dumbass!

-Jak, Perv

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS PLAYING THAT DAMN VIDEO ON THE STORE'S SPEAKER REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQSySL6wmsE

>>727736939
>>727736976
Speaking of cucks, can you put Jordan in check? Money won't matter when they all go bankrupt

>>727736904
I need the money also its fun to watch the autists screech and run around wailing in pain, that makes working this job worth it
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727737068
i could fap faster than this man.
-kelso, schizo

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O shit guys sorry for all the extra work, i just got back from my vacation to Jerusalem....I kinda got stuck a bit longer than expected.....

>>727736958
Tell corprate to fuck off, I'm gonna fuck some lolis while gettin high as fuck with this nigga here

-Alex, IT

>>727736958
Eric, you and Kelso are going to reek of cannabis. What if someone smells it?

-Jordan, Autist

>>727737183
deodorant. hopefully
-kelso, schizo

>>727737121
Get back to work Jordan I make a few cents more than you so I'm basically a god to you
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727730864
Even tho i know youre acting the part, youre still pissing me off

>>727737032
Good. Loli's are shit.
-Corey, Mastermind
>>727737150
Can I burn them with you?
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727737168
>>727737030
Mannn, weed, acid and lolis in the bin room. Working at Target kicks ass!!! I love my fucking job

>>727736950
We all need the money
- Josh, Tard wrangler

Hey guys i dont even work here. Im just wearing a red shirt

>>727737351
I wanna curb stomp the shit out of thw manager tho. fucking make him cry blood.
-kelso, schizo

>>727737291
Hey man, I do everything around here. But these customers aren't going to complain to themselves! LOL!

-Jordan, Autist

>>727737398
You're stuck here now
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727737322
I'm down for group arson
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727737469
Can I bring some gasoline for added burn wounds?
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727737463
Burn it down
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727737398
One of us.
One of us.
One of us.

-Jordan, Autist

>>727727069
>ELECTRONICS YOU HAVE A CALL ON 2281
>ELECTRONICS YOU HAVE A CALL ON 2281
>ELECTRONICS YOU HAVE A CALL ON 2281
>ELECTRONICS YOU HAVE A CALL ON 2281

BROTHER'S AND SISTERS JOIN ME IN BURNING DOWN THE ESTABLISHMENT OF THESE BARS THAT HOLD US SO WE MAY BE FREE FROM CORRUPTION
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727737616
Goddamn it, what is it this time?

-Alex, IT

>>727737573
Jordan, customers are complaining about your work ethic. I talked to the Store Manager and he okayed me to suspend you with no pay for 2 weeks. So you have to leave.
-Frank, New Manager/Ass kiss

Anybody else notice the new cartpusher kid always has a boner?

>>727737644
SIEG HEIL
HAIL SATAN.
*TOOL MUSIC*
-kelso, schizo

>>727727069
GUEST SERVICE NEEDED IN PERSONAL CARE

WHO THE FUCK IS RESPONDING?

>>727737644
Fucking no! It took me five weeks to secretly build the loli dungeon, and you are not ruining my chances to have little girls eat me out!

-Alex, IT

>>727737712
Fuck that I'm going to be blasting behemoth in the speakers as I burn this shit down
- Josh, Tard wrangler

You re all fired

>>727737833
*STARTS FUCKING SATAN RITUAL*
FUCK YALL IM GONNA FUCKING SUCK SATANS DICK, IVE BEEN HEARING TOO MANY VOICES ANYWAY. WHAT THE FUCK IS LIFE ANYWAY KEK
-kelso, schizo

>>727737793
They can help
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727737644
Can we burn the Loli's first?
-Corey, Mastermind

I dont get why Todd spends so much time in the feminine hygiene isle.

>>727737688
Frank, they're planning to burn the place down. Can you help me fireproof Electronics and seal the basement door? Thanks.

-Alex, IT

>>727737934
Todd's a reverse trap lmao

-Alex, IT

>>727728564
I work in retail and I can understand this...

>>727737957
I have to check with the store manager and compliment him a shit ton. Give me like a half hour to see what I can do.
-Frank, New Manager/Ass kiss

>>727738062
You are going to go places Frank. Just put some tongue into it.

*UPDATE* the lolis can help with the burning but if they fuck up and can't get out on time we aren't going back for them
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727737703
Have you seen his girlfriend? I might try to cuck him.
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727737688
Well, can't argue with the powers that be. Later guys!


-Jordan, Autist

>>727727069
LOD, come in!

I have a guest here who wants to price match an item from $59.99 to $58.99 and I need an override.

>>727738062
FUCK YOU WHORE. DUMB MOTHERFUCKER. IM GONNA STICK THE SHARPEST SCISSORS IN YOUR ASS AND OPEN AND CLOSE THEM. 1000 TIMES PER FUCKING SECOND. BLEED BITCH
-kelso, schizo

>>727738095
I already do. He really likes a finger up his asshole. Don't tell him I said that.
-Frank, New Manager/Ass kiss

>>727738100
No. We burn them in their dungeon.
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727738240
Thats just so they think they get out alive (they will be sacrificed)
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727738332
Good. Alex is a faggot and was trying to stop me from stealing Switches. He deserves this.
-Corey, Mastermind

Last week, when a pile of human shit was found in the cosmetics isle, it was ALL MINE. I had built it up for 2 weeks, kept it in my refrigerator, then brought it in on my day off. You faggots will never guess which employee I am.

Okay, here's a clue: I come up and sniff your ass on purpose every time we work together, Alex. Keep it on the hush hush, tho.

Mannnnn im trippin balls! Im gonna go "work" in the toy dept. Someone do kitchenware for me?

Hi I'm Derek From Corporate here. Your Manager needs to talk with me now. We have reasonable evidence to suspect that the manager is siphoning funds from the store to fuel a raging coke problem......

-Derek from Corporate

>>727738388
Switch is a good concept just shit games out right now
- Josh, Tard wrangler

How in the shit does someone use an entire roll of toilet paper on one shit, like all that t.p. would even flush...Fuck this shit you are doing it next time.

File: 1485742948270.gif (946KB, 280x235px) Image search: [Google]

946KB, 280x235px

>yfw a worker at my only local target got arrested this week for filming under the doors in the girls changing room

>>727738459
It has Splatoon in a few months and Mario at the end of the year. Sales are gonna skyrocket.

>>727738457
Just uh, give us a bit. He got some creamer on his shirt.
-Frank, New Manager/Ass kiss.

>>727738534
Waiting for a new monster hunter then I'd be all over it i also want to wait until they release a better version of it like companies always do

File: woah.jpg (57KB, 625x415px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 625x415px

>>727738666

File: 35d78097-76f7-43a6-812b-2e3e7c1ac38d.png (880KB, 951x960px) Image search: [Google]

880KB, 951x960px

>>727738753
I don't do drugs though only drink very rarely

Well, you fucked up the fire, Josh. You ONLY burned the Loli's. I was ready for this place to go up in flames.
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727738876
The lolis deserved it anyway its the fires fault for not spreading
- Josh, Tard wrangler

>>727739004
I TOLD you to let me use gasoline, but no. You wanted the fire to last longer.
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727739089
I used charcoal briquets for a slow steady burn to keep the flavor
- Josh, Tard wrangler

Alright ladies, and you sir. We are seeing too many R's out there, we really need to speed up transaction times or cooporate going to cut your hours.

Tom - Asst. Front End Mgr.

>>727739263
Tom, let's calm down here. I think we just need to push the employees more. Maybe get rid of something, so they can work harder. I heard Alex got something in the basement and he plans on rebuilding it. Let's take that away from him.
-Frank, New Manager/Ass kiss

Basement? Sounds exciting!

-Kimberly, The New Girl

>>727739734
You should let me see your basement
-Tanner, creepy old guy

Did we close early?
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727727069
Лол, самарский школьник аж до форча докатился

>>727738388
>He
W r o n g

-Alex, IT

>>727738600
I've been waiting for ages and I still haven't gotten an explanation or the cocaine that I was promised for not reporting this undercover drug op.....

-Derek from Corporate.

>>727739374
>Him
Well, you don't need to do that, you're already taking away my sense of self. As far as I know, I never had the ol' cock and balls.

-Alex, IT

HEY EVERYONE! I JUST FINISHED BUILDING THE SUB-BASEMENT! IF YOU WANT IN, YOU'LL NEED A KEY FROM ME!

-Alex, IT

>>727741205
No one wants to get arrested, Alex.
-Corey, Mastermind

>>727728260
You've clearly never worked with a black man before.

Dammit! Another team huddle!
I was just about to get my break!

Hey gang, thanks to the late rush it looks like we're going to make our goals today, but women's and home is a mess, can I get extra hands there?

Hey who hasn't made a new pot in the breakroom. I don't have time for this and need coffee. Thanks, Jim.