Hello /b/. I’ve come to tell a great tale of the time i battled Timmy the Tard.
>Be around 11 or 12 years old
>Have this retarded cousin
>We’ll call him Timmy the Tard
>Family comes to visit sometimes
>Sitting down playing video games on le PS2
>Timmy the Tard comes in and says “hurrrr heller”
>kek.jpg
>Getting more thirsty than an Ethiopian child
>Get up and leave the room to grab a sodie pop
>I come back from acquiring said beverage
>Walk in on Timmy the Tard completely wiping my memory card
>All of my hard work was gone
>This wasn’t even the last time he did it
>Anyway, i ask Timmy “What the fuck did you do?!”
>”hurrr, i deleted yer memry coard!” as his large teeth and gums emerge from his mouth like a fucking horse
>I was pissed as shit but i thought “Well he’s retarded and doesn’t know any better”
>It happened a couple of more times, but i let slide
>The last time it happened i felt the anger of a thousand Trump protestors
>”You son of a bitch, i know you did it on fucking purpose this time!”
What do you think so far /b/ ? You want more?
>>727493039
Moar please kind sir
>>727493039
>Punch Timmy in his fat deformed horse head
>Timmy Nigger falls to his side and starts wailing uncontrollably
>Thought it was hilarious, but i was so fucking pissed
>All of the built up internal laughter came out as a kick to Timmy’s stomach
>Timmy keeps screeching
>I see his bug eyes crawl back into his skull and his jaw almost unhinges like a fucking python and lets out another scream
>Tard Asses sister comes in and starts yelling at me
>”What the fuck are you doing, he doesn’t know any better!”
>I already hated this bitch, so i slapped her shit sideways
>She falls to the ground and screams “MOOOOOM!!!”
>Now I had two retards doing the stop drop and roll in my room
>Timmy’s fat ass mother rolls in on her wheel chair
>Everyone called her Hotwheels
>I hear creaking coming from down the hallway and i heard a loud groan and heavy breathing
>She says “God dammit what’s with all the fucking noise!?” as Ho-Ho’s and Twinkies are jiggling in her esophagus
>Jabba the Cunt rolls in, assesses the situation and tries to grab me to spank the living shit out of me
>Thinking quickly, i swiftly grabbed a few of my toys and put them in my doorway so the Pillsbury Dough Bitch couldn’t get out
>She just rolls up to the doorsill, holds up her arms and screams “You little son of a bitch!"
>My mother stops me and tells me not to do it again
>Managed to cause that much shit and not get spanked
Sit tight, niggers. I’ve got more to add to this epic tale
>>727493039
More
>>727493039
>>727493518
>>727493518
Do not fucking stop!
>>727493039
>So i hear this loud crash from my room
>Whatthefuck.png
>Run to my room and dodge Hotwheels once again
>Timmy the Horse Headed Retard is throwing my toys around and breaking them
>As if this nigger hadn’t learned his lesson
>Decided to call the big guns in
>”HEY MOM, TIMMY IS BREAKING MY SHIT”
>It was like Godzilla walking down the streets of Tokyo, loud thumping steps
>My mother walks in and slams the door behind her
>She grabs Timmy by the shirt and pulls him up to her nose and screams
>”If you keep breaking Anon’s shit, i’ll really give you a fucking reason to cry! Now you shut the fuck up and behave yourself before you get spanked!”
>And on that day Timmy’s Testicles grew three times their size
>He spits in my mothers face
>”Fffffff-ffuck-ck FUCK OFF, B-BI-TCH”
>I have never seen my mother so furious
>For a moment i thought i saw her hair turn quickly flash into a gold color for a split second
>Mom punches Timmy in the stomach even harder than i ever could
>Timmy lets out an even bigger cry than before
>His teeth, gums, eyes, and his tongue almost fell out of his fucking head under pressure
>She doesn’t even let him fall and says “You listen to me you little motherfucker. I’ll beat your ass all the way to hell, do you understand me?”
>Tard Ass loses his ability to speak and lets out an inaudible cry
>Mom opens the door and Timmy makes a humiliating escape
>>727493039
more
>>727494264
>>727494264
>inb4 walk the dinosaur
>>727494981
He sounds down syndrome, not palsy, so I doubt it.
>>727494
moar nigger
>>727493039
>>727493039
Alas the final part of the tale…
>Timmy made his escape through my bedroom door and ran into the living room where his mom and dad were
>His sister stays in the room and starts crying to herself in the corner and playing with her webbed toes
>No i’m not making that up
>Mom sits down on my bed and tries to calm herself down
>We heard his cry of cowardice from my room
>”HUR AUNT-T PEGGY PUNCHED ME IN THE TUMMY!!”
>And what happened next made me laugh until i pissed myself
>Tardo’s dad Richard was somehow sleeping through all of this shit and immediately woke up from his loud cry of terror
>Uncle Larry gets up from the rocking chair in the living room and screamed as loud as he could
>”Don’t you EVER lie about Peggy hitting you, you little nigger!"
>Sitting in my room laughing my ass off uncontrollably
>This beautiful man takes off his belt and beats Timmy for the next 5 minutes and sends him to sit in the other room for 3 hours
>Every lash to the ass, Timmy yelps out in a way that sounds pleasurable
>Hotwheels is screaming and crying and trying to pull my uncle off of Timmy and almost falls off her collapsible throne
>While Uncle Larry was beating Timmy, he decided to give his sister a nickname so bad, Richard never spoke a word to him again after that day
>Uncle Richard gets up and starts screaming at Larry
>My mother goes into the living room to try to break up the fight
>Only problem was that Uncle Larry was 6’8 and stronger than a cave troll
>”Why don’t you get out of here, Richy Rich and take your traveling freak show with you!”
>”You’ve got the folding collapsible woman, The Cyclops, and Aqua Girl!”
>Richard was never seen or heard from again after that fight
To tell you the truth, i didn't see much of that family after all of this. Timmy the Tard and friends moved out of state.
>>727493518
>Hotwheels
>Jabba the cunt
top kek
Thank you for the good read OP
>>727493518
>Jabba the Cunt
>Pillsbury Dough Bitch
Kek
>>727493039
>>727493518
>>727494264
>>727495474
include me in screen cap
>>727495474
So you beat up a couple tards and got your dad to never talk to his brother again?
well done
Story of the night.
Well done, Op
>>727496136
You got it, bud.
Good stuff op thank you.
Brilliant fucking brilliant
Cheered me up before a shitty day at work
>>727497133
>wishing you could do this to your own retard baby
>webbed toes
Cameo in screencap plox
>>727493039
>le PS2
kill yourself
>>727497799
THIS NIGGER GOT DOUBLE DUBS
>>727493039
great stuff OP
>>727493518
>Everyone called her Hotwheels
Kek
>>727493039
>>727493518
>>727494264
>>727495474
Cant wait to be on reddit get me in the screencap
Include me in the screencap and I'll shoot up my school
/b/ is actually good today.
>>727495474
>Traveling freak show