How do you dispose of a corps /b/? My friend just ODd

>>727445221
911 usually works

>>727445221
Probably just asleep

stopped breathing 2 hours ago...

Time stamp on his forehead you fuck.

>>727445926
This

>>727445221
First you have to masturbate on the body. When I see a timestamp of that, I'll help you out.

>>727445221
Faggot needs a timestamp or illegit

Recent photo of him dead, Op?

>>727445221

nice ikea duvet, bitch

>>727445221

>cut into pieces
>acquire 1 sleepingbag for each leg, 1 for each arm, one for the head and one for the torso
>acquire yoghurt
>pull out teeth, grind them up
>burn/cut fingertips so there's no fingerprints
>put bodyparts in sleepingbag and pour yoghurt in every sleepingbag
>burry parts FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR away from eachother
you should be good if there's nothing linking you to the person, worked for me in the past.

btw. the yoghurt is added to speed up the decomposing of the body.

>>727445221
> masturbate on his face
> timestamp on face
> take picture with you licking your own cum

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>>727445221

>>727446385
Cheaper way to do it is just drag him out into the middle of nowhere and burn him.

Call 911 and dont be there when they show you dumb druggie fuck

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>>727445221
What's up with those lips?

>>727445221
Motherfucker needs some Chapstick.

Reverse image search pulled up nothing. This seems legit.

>>727446385
BS, prove it.

>>727445221
Find a pig farm. Put the body through a meat grinder then feed to pigs.

wait is this real?

call 911 now

>>727446557
burning a corpse requires tremendous amounts of heat.
Not gonna be able to do that out in the woods

>>727445221
Call 119

Dump his ass on the side of the road somewhere. As long as no one sees you you're fine.

Time stamp or fake

>>727446754
prove what?
try if for yourself, works

>>727445221
Does that guy work at Disney?

>>727446924
>>727446698
Yes,op is masturbating

>>727446903
This. Pigs will eat everything, even bones. Just make sure to get rid of anything with his DNA on like blankets, glasses, clothes etc.

I'm a forensic examiner. This body is older than OP is claiming. Fake.

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>>727445221
>>727446595
>mlady

>>727446595
obvious drugchapped lips.
probably been smoking heroin, check his teeth, they're also stained

Shave his head
Write in face with sharpie

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>>727445221
I wonder if he pooped his pants when he died.

>>727447468
they all do.

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>>727446385
>cut into peaces
>this is someone's last resooort

>>727447185
tbh the pigs would probably eat it without being put through a grinder but if you grind it first that shit will be eaten real quick.

>>727447555
Which is why if I were gonna kill myself, I'd shit and piss right before doing so. Then the medical examiner would be like, "Goddamn! What a courteous motherfucker! No mess!"

>>727447758
You would still shit yourself Einstein.

>>727447758
now tip your fedora

>>727447758
you have to not eat or drink for about 4 days for that to happen faggot

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>>727447591
Fools. Let blood settle. Rigor mortisish. Then cut in every single joint. Big bones then get cut into querters and if possible splint. Then you get a high quakity blender. Slowlt through out the night or day <depending when you work> then just pour liquoud down drain with coldish luke warm water. Then here and there add bleech. Easy peasy bizzy. Only a fool takes things on /b/ as real... kegles

1. pull down his pants and tie his belt around his neck. Place one of his hands on his dick and other on the belt. "auto erotic fixation".

OR

2. Have a neighborhood BBQ.

>>727445221
you call the PoPo otherwise they'll think you mrdered him.

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>>727446903
>>727447185
Definitely This.

Proof it works:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Pickton

Guy disposed of dozens of prostitutes this way. Dumb luck got him caught.

>>727447938
>>727447974
>>727448051

You can't shit when there's nothing left.

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>>727448057
what the fuck am i reading

call the police... You didn't kill him.. Why risk getting charged with improper disposal of a body and ruin his family from ever getting closure?

Scroll thread
No timestamp
Not tasty bait
Sage

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>>727448673
Yes this is the best answer. You are a good friend and offered your home to your friend to chill for a bit. Then he O deed while you were in the washroom

999

>>727448900
Stop trying to do the right thing

>>727449024
Fail

>>72744999

>>727449999
Haha I fucked it up

>>727448999
I'll get it right one of these days

If you want to do it right it takes effort. You need to map out all the home improvement stores within 100 miles. Even more if you have to. You are going to need to travel to each one, probably check online if they have it in stock, and buy a little less than the most lye they will legally sell to you at each store. Of course you will need PET 7 plastic tubs, and your chouse of dismemberment tool. About every option is hard on the soul, as it should be, youre dismembering a body. A heavy, nice new machete could be the easiest if you get edge alignment right. Clean cut. If not, a saw or axe will do. Get your lye, tubs, and body all on a tarp and get to work. Make sure you have plenty of bleach around. If you could, do it on a slant so all the blood will gather in one pool or dig sort of a small ditch to collect it in. Take apart the body, set up the seperate tubs, fill with lye in solution and get to work. It will take a little bit of time, but will work. Once the body is all apart and dissolving in the tubs, clean up everything with bleach. Bleach destroys dna to a sense where Luminol wont work in case of cops snooping around. Stir around the tubs every so often, and if nothing is solid, the best course is to flush it all down the toilet. Then again, make sure you fucking use the bleach everywhere in your bathroom if you flush it. And use common sense. Get a hazmat suit you can burn so dna gets on you, gloves, disposable everything. Theres some good tips throughout this thread, so dont just focus on this one comment. Do it right OP. Best of luck

>>727448673
Unless Op sold his friend the drugs. Then he's fucked.

Best way to dispose of someone is a shallow grave in a state forest, a couple hundred feet in from the road. Get your car off the road. This should be done early in the morning, crack of dawn, when no one else is up or outside yet. Make sure you bury him on public lands, not private property, and the chance of anyone ever finding the body in your lifetime is less than 5%.

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>>727449072
But we need to do whats right. Unless we really want to do otherwise.

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Guess he ain't ur friend anymore lol

>>727445221
Shit facial hair and male pattern baldness. How old was he?

>>727449400
This is the Dahmer method. Except you want to use Muriatic acid instead of Lye. Lye doesn't act quickly enough. But, seriously, this is too much fucking work. Plus, you're going to be on a watchlist just for buying acid and food-grade drums. The shallow grave in a state forest is totally the way to go.

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>>727449400
I like this. Good ol breaking bad huh? Lol or look up our good friend the POZOLERO.

Wait a while, maybe he'll wake up.

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Look at my quads dracepts.

9999o9oooooooo99999

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9999

>>727447366
Ow my sides

>>727446595
it is auto-aggression (lip-biting in this case)
mostly indicates a mental illness at this age. same like finger nail biting.

If this reply gets dubs then I get to decide what you do with it

>>727445221
cut off his head

>how do you dispose of corps?
Send them to Afghanistan

Post update op
>>727445221

>>727449424
Obviously he isn't doing what's right because calling 911 wound be the first option. OP is trying to do something other than calling the cops.

I probably would call only cuz I'm lazy and anything more than calling seems like to much damn work and a fucking inconvenice. Couldn't you just OD on the sidewalk so I don't gotta deal with your dead sack of bones?

>>727449737
Si, thats why you go to alllll different stores and jesus christ dont use a credit card. Muriatic will get you on the watch list, as its both for Meth and disposing of bodies. And its getting rid of a dead body with no trace of it coming back to you. You need to put in work if you want full relief of getting out of it

>>727450393
Kek!

By the looks of it he's a sleep probably been doing pills/mdma for a few days as his lips look like he's been chewing them cause he's probably gurning like fuck now he's on a come down and sleeping

>>727449999

>>727445221
but jävla mycket använde han?

Cunt listen up what you want to do is be a heartless cunt to save your life you will need a shovel or digging equipment maybe even a digger you will need a very sharp and durable cutting equipment and a very far away location, first of all put down a tarp or something you can burn but can catch blood wear disposal gloves and clothes and shit you can burn after, place the tarp in a room and make sure the doors are locked and no one can see in throw Windows etc best do this in a bedroom not a main living room where someone can walk in your house straight away, then when you cut up the cunt legs head arms torso put into a sleeping bag or something that won't arose suspicion when transporting it in your boot travel far away op far away also change your tyres when you return incase your tyre tread is found at the scene which it most likely will, then bury the body at least 3 meters down I know that's going to be hard that's why I recommend digging equipment like really good digging equipment then bury the body fill up to 1.5 meters or half way then you will need a dead animal most likely a dog or cat kill it and put it there then fill it back up if sniffer dogs come by they will dig it up and see the dead animal and give up and won't go any further if you're lucky and try to do this near soft dirt or like a place where it wouldent arouse suspsion maybe put a little cross on top of the grave saying rip mittens or an animal name so if they do dig up the spot they will see a grave for an animal and see the corpse if they dig it up hope this helps fag <3

It's ok guys I'm an irl detective.
>friend takes something
>falls asleep
This is going to be tougher than I thought

first, dispose of fake post by posting pic with timestamp. until you delivered you are a faggot

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>>727445221
mfw I worked for a funeral home for years and this looks legit. He has those shit teeth and weird white stuff on his lips that I have seen a million times. I always liked these because heroin addicts don't weigh very much and no one gives a fuck about them so there isn't much family to deal with.

Alright - back to business: You don't have the wherewithal to dispose of a corpse; call 911 and tell the truth. Unless you killed him you will be free to go about your apparently awesome life after answering a couple of questions.

>>727449400
this, but freeze the body before dismemberment and use a handsaw, less mess. Also, luminol doesn't react to dna, it reacts to the iron in blood. So if you start spraying blood around they will detect it.

>>727451413
This

>no timestamp
Fake

>>727452013
Great idea anon. I'm sure the guy with a junkies dead body in his room has a spacious freezer at hand.

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>>727445725

>>727449737
Acid is the wrong way to go, it won't dissolve body fat. Lye on the other hand will turn everything water soluble i.e. easier to pour down the drain and won't leave all kinds of shit behind in the drain.

>>727451413
Best idea

gå där ifrån och säg att du lånade ut din lägenhet till din kompis, låtsas att du kommit tillbaks och hittat honom död. om han har lekt med knark och dött är det inte ditt fel. tråkigt det som hänt. puss

Chop of hands, feet, head.


Chop body parts little at a time.

Place in black trash bags.

Scatter parts in multiple dumpsters around your city. Walmart is good.

It may take you a while. But this is your best bet.

>>727447758
This sir does not matter.

In a standard autopsy, we "run the bowels".

We get a pair of scissors and cut all along your small and large intestine.

Run it under a sink and clean all your shit out.

We can take urine from your bladder with a syringe.

>>727452013
Right about the luminol. But Bleach makes it where luminol wont illuminate if bleach dilutes and dicipates the iron

ring nån ambulans eller nå skit inte ditt fel att han od

>>727446385

All this trouble for a junkie whose DNA is in the DB... You're just pointing out an obvious connection between the killer and the victim. I am saying killer because there is no way you'll be able to prove the guy ODed, nobody would be that stupid.

Just drop him in some back alley if you don't want him connected to you or clean up your flat, call 911 and say you went to sleep and found him like that.

>>727448057

Some guy got caught doing that because the pipes kept getting stuck.

>>727454901
A toxicology test can determine if he OD.

>>727455393

Probably not when they found the body choped in pieces months after

>>727455566
Nope, still possible.

I worked in this shit for 10 years.

>>727446385

I get it. Makes the corpse taste good for bugs and bacteria and stuff?

Also, what flavor yogurt? Asking for a friend.

>>727448673
Second

>>727446385
> From an Anon who has never got rid of a body

I generally don't give out stuff like this but ok
protip: DONT shower your place with a million pieces of evidence like, for example, THEIR FUCKING BLOOD EVERYWHERE IN VAST AMOUNTS YOU CANNOT EXPLAIN ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING HOUSE.

Please, only use this information for research purposes.

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>>727445221

>>727448120
Autoerotic asphyxiation? Fixation hahaha

>>727456263
This info is only for research purposes and should never be actually used

>ask how dispose body
>didn't kill him

What the fuck kind of junkie logic are you using? Dude, call the police, tell them he OD'd, take a statement, be on your fucking merry. Jesus why would you just leave uneccissary evidence of no crime?

>hurr durr instead of clearing me as he clearly OD'd ill make a fucking crime scene and eventually get caught and probably charged for murder because if you didn't murder him, WHY HIDE THE FUCKING BODY. Get convicted instead of murder instead of possession. Get raped by nigger dicks the rest of your life.

Junkies are sooooo fucking stupid.