>you have 10 seconds to prove you're not Amy Schumer

>>727414431
My vagina smells like vagisil.

I can make people laugh

i have humor

>>727414431
i don't steal jokes

my pussy smells like fart

>>727414431
I'm not a fat tranny

I don't look like a potato

I actually have a dick

>>727414611
>prove you're NOT Amy Schumer

>>727414431
I don't have a sex life.

I have clean protected sex with nice respectable men

What do you call a hidden black guy?
Incognegro

i have recently had consensual sex where no one was being paid and we both had satisfying orgasms

i have humour

I dont have aids

I am Amy Schumer

I do not live in the ocean

>>727414431
The first part of my name isn't Beluga

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My hair doesn't like a trailer park whore's

>>727414431
What salad should I eat today Caesar or green .

>>727414431
I am the guy with the baseball bat that gonna smack that dumb cunt in the face

>>727414431
I'm not a fat nasty whore.

>>727414431
im not fat and ugly

>>727414431
I don't steal my jokes

I'm not a pudgy faced, unfunny whore who is being shilled hard by the media. I also don't steal jokes.

>>727414431
I don't have humor, I'm fat, I have a dick, how can I prove you i'm not her?

Trump is my god

>>727414431
OP is Amy.
You're writing all this down for your next set, you sly chubby vixen.
P.S... I'd love to eat you out. XOXO.

>>727414431
I consume the correct amount of calories.

>>727414431
I don't blame my failure as a "comedian" on the alt-right.

>>727414431
i'm funny

>>727414866
Tits or gtfo?

>>727417206
Definitely does

>>727414431
Two stars

>>727414431
Got any nudes?

My content is shit, but not that shit.
https://youtu.be/lcoolbf4Izw

knock knock

My pussy stinks like a barnyard animal. Guess I am her.

I weigh under 175lbs

>>727414431
I can see my feet when I look down

Rip Ryan Dunn <3

>>727414431
My sense of humor isn't entirely vagina related.

>>727414431
What do you call a shady nigger who's up to something but you can't figure out what he's about to steal?

>An "Eniggerma".

nigger loving faggot. done.

>>727414431
But I AM Amy Schumer,
and I'll fuck your brains out

OOPS! TOO LATE!

>>727414660
>>727414611
If Amy Schumer really had a dick, I'd stalk her and rape her

>>727414431
What did the priest say to the rapist at the confessional booth?

"I can relate, but the 2-year-old I'm seeing bleeds from the ass. Not big into vaginas"

>>727414595
That's because boy-pussy is really just an asshole.

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>>727414431
I practice personal hygiene.

>>727414599
So... you're a skinny sissy cd?

>>727414600
I beg to differ, because there are eyes all over you. You MUST, therefore, be a potato.

Vagina . . . aw shit

>>727414611
So does Amy Schumer

>>727414781
You fap, don't you?

>>727414866
Oh, a high-class faggit, then....

>>727415557
PERVERT!!!

>>727415606
I have vitreous humor

>>727415773
Neither does Amy Schumer.

>>727425130
can you prove this?

>>727416928
When someone says that another person is "salty", or "an old salt", it doesn't mean that they live in the ocean or elsewhere where there is salt.
It means that the person is brutally honest and doesn't mince words.

>>727414431
i'm not an ugly, loud, fat, unfunny, unoriginal, unamerican, feminist whore

then again, i'd fuck her if given the chance and so would all of you faggots

>>727416931
Is it "Humpback", or "Orca", perhaps?

>>727414431
I'm not fat

>>727417206
Oh yes it does.

I'm human

>>727414431
i can tell a funny joke

>>727417405
My ass.

>>727418088
Jealous of her looks, or pissed that she's a real girl, and you are not?

>>727418131
Pics to prove it, or GTFO.

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What do you call a fish with two knees?
A two-knee fish.

See, an actual joke.
And it doesn't even have to do with pussy or sex.

>>727419714
Sounds like Amy Schumer to me...

I don't fuck niggers.

>>727419796
Then you belong in a nut-house, NOT on /b/, and not on this thread.

>>727414431
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

>>727417206
Lol it looks worse get a haircut

>>727425898
That's an anti-joke ya fuckin schmuck.

>>727419862
...to be Santa Claus next holiday season?

I'm not an absolute fucking failure and have pride in my body and not being a fucking trash whore

Muh vag

>>727426312
It's like tuna fish
The joke is that it's like tuna fish

>>727426395
Well... she IS on TV, she IS working, and she IS bringing home a fat paycheck; so "absolute failure" is exactly opposite of what she actually is.

As for the other things you mentioned, whatever it takes to bring home the bacon.