Ask a psychologist anything.

>>727334121
Why do i want to fear pain?

Can someone truly recover from anxiety? In some instances anxiety is usefull blabla, but can one truly recover from the illness?

Also what aproach do you practise; psychotherapy?

what am i thinking

What do females want the most?

>>727334332
>Can someone truly recover from anxiety? In some instances anxiety is usefull blabla, but can one truly recover from the illness?
>Also what approach do you practice; psychotherapy?

I practice behaviorism and acceptance and commitment therapy (i.e., contextual behavior science).

>>727334536
Can you answer the first question? My therapist dodges the question.

>>727334432
>What do females want the most?

Speaking not as a psychologist; but as a married man. I think women (don't call them females; gives away your AU), want to find the best partner that suits them.

>>727334121
What are the signs of a burn out?

How does it feel to a degree in a field which is based on assumptions and not facts?

If someone thinks you don't trust them and is upset about it, how do you get them to like you again?

>>727334916
to what a degree?

>>727335053
360 and walk away

>>727334121
So what do you do after you've come the the inevitable conclusion that life is meaningless? I've accepted it and just focus on doing what makes me happy like hobbies, ect. But eventually I'll get bored won't I? I'm already tired of drinking myself to death, gonna try out some peaceful hobbies like gardening or something. How long do you think this is viable?

>>727334741
>Can you answer the first question? My therapist dodges the question.

Sure, it is my opinion that anxiety severe enough to warrant a diagnosis is the result of genetics (nature) AND nurture. Our field has traditionally overemphasized the role of nurture. But, anxiety has a real nurture component. For example, you avoid doing something because you get nervous. That ends up making your anxiety worse. The evidenced based treatment for most anxiety disorders is some flavor of exposure and response prevention. So the answer is yes, youre probably going to always have anxiety. Its just how your mind works. But whether you let it impair your is another question. Hopefully you can get to place where you dont allow it to control your life.

>>727334121
Is this real life?

>>727334916
>How does it feel to a degree in a field which is based on assumptions and not facts?

such an edgelord

>>727334788
Probs like dreading going to work; finding it hard to empathize with clients. Why?

>>727335047
>If someone thinks you don't trust them and is upset about it, how do you get them to like you again?
Can you give an example?

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>>727335456
Still true though

>>727335275
This. I also struggle with the realisation that life is meaningless. I have tried many things, but life is still meaningless in the big picture.

Currently im not tired of drinking myself to oblivion, so im still happy when i am drunk. I am considering abusing pills or other drugs tho, because why not? Does it really matter if i become an addict? If i kill myself? If i save the world from something? If i destroy it?

The universe is so enormous that we do not have the capasity to understand it. The mere survival of our planet is irrelevant to everything. How then can my life be as full of meaning as everyone says it is?

>>727335275
>So what do you do after you've come the the inevitable conclusion that life is meaningless? I've accepted it and just focus on doing what makes me happy like hobbies, ect. But eventually I'll get bored won't I? I'm already tired of drinking myself to death, gonna try out some peaceful hobbies like gardening or something. How long do you think this is viable?

I don't think life is meaningless. I think you can live in line with your values. Maybe thinking about who or what is important you could help guide you. If gardening is inline with your values, if it makes you have a more vital life, then I think its forever viable.

>>727335655
So, im actually going to agree with you to some extent, man. I think the field started that way. But thats not really how things work now.

>>727335624
Message from her to me. (Dyslexic and can't spell for shit)

'This is me saying goodbye now.

I realise you're image of me is so wrong; it will take me to much energy to have any equality for a friendship.

In any other connection; please trust real life conversation and not the multimedia status

Iether way i dont wanna invest in people who don't trust me; it makes me feel angry and sad.

Certainly aint my friends.

So no Anon, this douse not sounds like a friendship to me. I gonna stop typing on messenger now and step/stay in real life now.

For all the above: surge for therapy (or any other help) you trust.

And I believe (that although the challenges are unfair divided) when we are grownups we are responsible for our loneliness; don't give up keep on working and surging for connection.

Between us though: I'm asking you to stop texting me because of the reasons above.

Toi toi and wish you luck and trust on your way'

is it possible to get PTSD without ever being in a war?

>>727335376
Thats a hood an honest answer. I appreciate that. I guess what i struggle the most with is to find the motivation to get back to my life. I am educated as a pediatric therapist, and am genuinely good at my work. I also love doing it. Yet, all i do to cope with my fears, is drink. I know this is extremely coubter-productive, but it is the only way i can get some relief as i feel now.

Got any angles for anxiety coping, except for the usual?

>>727336208
Yeah like getting into a car crash, witnessing a murder, being raped, being misgendered

>>727335824
>This. I also struggle with the realisation that life is meaningless. I have tried many things, but life is still meaningless in the big picture.
>Currently im not tired of drinking myself to oblivion, so im still happy when i am drunk. I am considering abusing pills or other drugs tho, because why not? Does it really matter if i become an addict? If i kill myself? If i save the world from something? If i destroy it?
>The universe is so enormous that we do not have the capasity to understand it. The mere survival of our planet is irrelevant to everything. How then can my life be as full of meaning as everyone says it is?

So when I read things like this, I see someone who's very clever mind is really pushing them around. The question is: does drinking yourself into oblivion, abusing pills or drugs, and what not make you live closer to your values?

Maybe think about what is important to you. What would you want people to say about you at your funeral? That might get you closer. What would you want people to say about you?

>>727336141
>Message from her to me. (Dyslexic and can't spell for shit)
>'This is me saying goodbye now.
>I realise you're image of me is so wrong; it will take me to much energy to have any equality for a friendship.
>In any other connection; please trust real life conversation and not the multimedia status
>Iether way i dont wanna invest in people who don't trust me; it makes me feel angry and sad.
>Certainly aint my friends.
>So no Anon, this douse not sounds like a friendship to me. I gonna stop typing on messenger now and step/stay in real life now.
>For all the above: surge for therapy (or any other help) you trust.
>And I believe (that although the challenges are unfair divided) when we are grownups we are responsible for our loneliness; don't give up keep on working and surging for connection.
>Between us though: I'm asking you to stop texting me because of the reasons above.
>Toi toi and wish you luck and trust on your way'

Dude, that sucks. I am sorry. It sounds like she needs some space. What does your mind say when you think about not talking to her?

>>727336208
>is it possible to get PTSD without ever being in a war?

Absolutely. What happened?

>>727334759
why wouldn't they just as any human sucess their life ? It looks strange to me that they would have a particular common desire.

>>727334121
what's the psychological pattern behind masochism ?
i'm into femdom and domination and i'd like to know why i like that

>>727336314
Can you write down a list of everything you have to try to control your anxiety?

>>727336485
First guy, I get that you're saying find something you can assign meaning to because that's what makes you happy. But if everything is meaningless in the end then all that matters is that we enjoy whatever we experience as a consciousness. I've thought long and hard about it but I can't get past that the only thing mattering is being happy, because fuck it if I'm gonna turn in to space dust eventually I may as well enjoy the life I live right? Just also worries me that I probably will get tired of it and off myself. Not through like a violent means probably just through drinking/pleasurable activity that will end me. Cause that's all that really matters I guess. Pleasure/happiness.

>>727336763
close friend commited suicide and i found her, the her friend got close to try and comfort me and stayed for weeks like she really wanted to help, then laughed her ass off calling my friend who killed themself a bitch and stuff, thus ruining the recovery i was making from what i saw

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>>727334383

>>727335430
is this just fantasy

>>727337062
>what's the psychological pattern behind masochism ?
>i'm into femdom and domination and i'd like to know why i like that

Does there have to be a reason why? My question, does being into BDSM fuck with your life? cause problems at work or with relationships?

>>727336485
Holy shit, you really are a psychologist.

I would like them to say what you just said about me. And alcohol and drugs only drives me further away from my values, which again fills me with guilt, which again fuels my longing for 'escape'.

This gave me some insight, which i will seriously reflect on. Too me, this was more valuable than Descartes, Nietzsche, plato and the rest of them.

Thank you Anon, you made me put down my drink for tonight.

>>727337386
no, not at all
being into domination is no problem for me
i'd just like to know why, what did i experience to like it today ?

>>727334121
Why does hotse pussy make me horny?

>>727337155
>Pleasure/happiness.

seriously, try writing your eulogy for me. I might be able to help you see something else besides the meaningless of life. I often charge 150 an hour for this stuff...

>>727336366
you don't know how much you can be traumatize by anything boi all you need is context

>>727336208
Of course man. I suffer from it to a degree. Mostly from trauma at a young age.

For OP though, I was wondering if it is possible to not only reduce my anti-depressant intake but also to help my paranoid anxiety (aka people are watching me as I do this and that etc). Currently on escitalopram (small dosage) mirtazapine (30mg at night) and Lorazepam for anxiety ridden performance. I want to live my life without pills hopefully. But the stresses from trying exposure and such just don't seem to be helping me or at least my cognitive being adjusting properly to stressful situations.

On the upside it has been at least a year since I had a self-harm thought.

>>727337261
>close friend commited suicide and i found her, the her friend got close to try and comfort me and stayed for weeks like she really wanted to help, then laughed her ass off calling my friend who killed themself a bitch and stuff, thus ruining the recovery i was making from what i saw

First, I am sorry your friend killed herself. Its understandable that your messed up about this.

Second, there is a difference between grief and PTSD. How much time has passed?

Third, everyone grieves in a different way. Maybe calling her a bitch what how she was dealing with her grief.

Fourth, seems like this person cared for you to comfort you and stay. So do you have mixed feelings about them now?

>>727336719
That's a month old message that I haven't responded to (good?). Not talking to her the entire time in order that I might get to talk to her again much later. My mind says something like 'who else are you going to talk to?', which I don't have a good answer for. Then I return to what to respond with, and what's meant by ambiguous statements in the text. I usually write off any response that it too long, angry or begging, and therefore write off anything I might say in response except just declaring fondness for the person, then I write this off, since it ignores too much important exchange. Then I get stuck.

>>727337621
Well I dunno, guess I'd want it to say man that guy planned the most badass party for his funeral I ever went to. And that... Fuck I don't really care that much actually. I don't feel like I should care about my eulogy. fuck eulogies, who made that shit up anyways? Why do we even have eulogies. Just put something along the lines of that in my eulogy. "'Why are eulogies even a thing' - anon PS open bar behind my casket"

>>727335526
No thats not it. More liks my bossen really hard on me

>>727337087
Fight, flight and freeze - all of these escaleted the symptoms.
Anxiety meds (sobril, did not work)
Meditation, tried for a long time
Work out, weightlifting and cardio for 4 years, did not work
Therapy
Overcompensating (being super social)

>>727337585
>Holy shit, you really are a psychologist.
>I would like them to say what you just said about me. And alcohol and drugs only drives me further away from my values, which again fills me with guilt, which again fuels my longing for 'escape'.
>This gave me some insight, which i will seriously reflect on. Too me, this was more valuable than Descartes, Nietzsche, plato and the rest of them.
>Thank you Anon, you made me put down my drink for tonight.

No prob. So did you like being called clever? Being clever is a value man.

>>727337155

I'll add to this thread as well. I'm a psychologist trained at GSAPP, for reference.

In regards to anxiety, TC is doing the right thing. There is indeed a sizeable genetic component to anxiety, with most theories pointing towards anxiety sensitivity being moderated by learning history. A thorough assessment is needed to get at possible routes towards change. Each behavior has a function, but the major pattern in anxiety is avoidance behavior. We avoid the things that make us anxious. Said avoidance limits opportunities for new learning that could help reshape our beliefs about why something is fearful/anxiety provoking. This is why exposure therapy works very well for reducing anxiety issues. However, it needs to be done well; without some measure of cognitive restructuring, change is likely to be shallow and not maintained.

>>727338067
its been about 3 and a half months i think, it happened early january

well that was actually an issue, she didnt actually care about my friend, she made a joke about comforting me and that she was only acting like she cared voz someone (idk who tho) told her to at least fake that she cares to try and cheer me up, but finding out that made it worse

>>727337644
I'm fully aware, that is why I listed a few common occurrences that can cause PTSD outside of armed conflicts

>>727337597
>no, not at all
>being into domination is no problem for me
>i'd just like to know why, what did i experience to like it today ?

This is going to be really unsatisfying. But my answer as to why is: its just something your mind likes. Why not enjoy it if it doesn't cause problems or get in the way you living a valued life.

I was put on wellbutrin xl, but i asked for modafinil. My doctor psychologist said that it would make me psychotic. Do you have any idea what he meant by that? He says that i have ADHD, depression and anxiety.

>>727337603
horse pussy?

>>727337659
>For OP though, I was wondering if it is possible to not only reduce my anti-depressant intake but also to help my paranoid anxiety (aka people are watching me as I do this and that etc). Currently on escitalopram (small dosage) mirtazapine (30mg at night) and Lorazepam for anxiety ridden performance. I want to live my life without pills hopefully. But the stresses from trying exposure and such just don't seem to be helping me or at least my cognitive being adjusting properly to stressful situations.

First, I am not a doctor man.

Second, do the pills help you live a more vital/bigger life? Why dont you want them if they help you?

>>727338318
I did. But the fact that you understood me meant more. The patients that get you are lucky anon. Good night, and good luck handling 4chan.

>>727338559
oh no i enjoy it :)

>>727338150
>That's a month old message that I haven't responded to (good?). Not talking to her the entire time in order that I might get to talk to her again much later. My mind says something like 'who else are you going to talk to?', which I don't have a good answer for. Then I return to what to respond with, and what's meant by ambiguous statements in the text. I usually write off any response that it too long, angry or begging, and therefore write off anything I might say in response except just declaring fondness for the person, then I write this off, since it ignores too much important exchange. Then I get stuck.

Its absolutely good that you haven't responded to her. It takes a ton of control and willpower. I am proud of you anon.

Seems like your mind is trying to over analyze every line of text for a solution. Doesn't seem like its working.

Fact is, you probably can't say or do anything to change her behavior. All you can do is focus on your own behavior.

The real issue for me is: Why don't you have someone else to talk too?

Have you tried to talk to someone else? Are you lonely?

>>727336314

Coping wise, there's relaxation training and mindfulness exercises. However, those don't really treat the cause of the problem. They're useful in the short term for first order change (return to baseline). In regards to anxiety issues, the best way out is usually through.

>>727337597
So, sexual masochism only? Pain can release endorphins, which is one possible way to create the association. A paraphilic masochism MIGHT be caused by intense/repeated experiences in which suffering pain was paired with pleasure, or one had to derive (force) pleasure to justify the pain suffered. From a more psychodynamic perspective, non-sexual masochism is about taking care of the needs of others at the expense of one's own needs, aka the defense of reversal.

>>727338174
>Well I dunno, guess I'd want it to say man that guy planned the most badass party for his funeral I ever went to. And that... Fuck I don't really care that much actually. I don't feel like I should care about my eulogy. fuck eulogies, who made that shit up anyways? Why do we even have eulogies. Just put something along the lines of that in my eulogy. "'Why are eulogies even a thing' - anon PS open bar behind my casket"

Seems like you care about partying. Why do you care so much about that? Is it that you are with others?

>>727334121
Why is my poop green?

>>727334121
OP, my boyfriend used to beat me up and after the one time I called the police he has never done it again, about a year ago. He expresses sign of remorse quite often, and says that was the old "insecure and stupid" him. I don't know why I stayed with him, maybe because of how many years I've known him and that I care about him. We are getting married, and what I am asking you is: can abusers actually stop for good? He swears it wont happen again. It used to happen once a week.

>>727338876
I don't want them because at a certain point I want my own willpower to overcome stressful situations. Pills should only help in the short term not in the long term. I have been up and down on pills since I was 16 years old (now 26).

Never assumed you were doctor man. Was just asking for advice in terms of paranoid delusions and hyper vigilance. Let alone my severe depression and sever social anxiety and PTSD (or at least what they have diagnosed me with)

>>727338293
>Fight, flight and freeze - all of these escaleted the symptoms.
>Anxiety meds (sobril, did not work)
>Meditation, tried for a long time
>Work out, weightlifting and cardio for 4 years, did not work
>Therapy
>Overcompensating (being super social)

Can I add some to the list:

Asking a stanger on 4chan :)

thinking about anxiety

You've done a lot, man. You have a good work ethic.

Have you ever thought that anxiety might not be the problem?

>>727338876

What he said. There can be a great deal of shame and stigma related to medication; however, it's possible to detach from that narrative.

For TC:

Any tips on how to become better with ACT? Reading about relational frame theory is frustrating as Hayes' writing on that is about as clear as mud. If I were forced to do an ACT treatment, I'd likely have to treat it like a mixed bag of CBT techniques with defusion and values work thrown in, which doesn't really seem like a great treatment plan.

>>727338386
>cognitive restructuring

I don't know dude. I think research is showing that lasting behavioral change can occur without cognitive restructuring.

>>727338487
>well that was actually an issue, she didnt actually care about my friend, she made a joke about comforting me and that she was only acting like she cared voz someone (idk who tho) told her to at least fake that she cares to try and cheer me up, but finding out that made it worse

Still seems pretty fresh, man. Is the stuff you are going through causing problems in your life?

>>727338609
I don't. Sorry :(

>>727339408
Mm yeah I guess it could be.. I really just like to drink. I'll drink myself into a stupor just by myself watching TV and browsing /b/. I mean I know its bad for me so I recently sobered up but come on if I was gonna die I'd wanna throw some badass party. Everyone is happy at parties for the most part so I feel like that'd be the best thing to do at a funeral. Fuck all the sappy bs throw me in the dumpster for fun or something. Or shoot me out of a cannon. I really have kinda just gotten into this mindset of not giving a single fuck about anything I don't enjoy. Only reason I haven't gone absolutely crazy and started being a criminal in a 3rd world shithole doing crazy shit is because my family would fucking shit bricks. So I continue my boring normal life to appease them. I also have obligations as far as work contracts so I cant just go off grid crazy like I want to for a few more years.

>>727339452
too much grape juicey wooshey?

>>727340077
yeah, heavy depression being the main issue, it sucks and i generally have nobody to open up to about it, but thanks to it ive been fearing shit happeneing again and have had lots of tru issues since then

>>727339976

Right, CR is generally a first order change technique, which doesn't really work into lasting change. Yet having done a bunch of cognitive processing therapy for PTSD, I can't really see it having absolutely no value in creating lasting change. Have there been dismantling studies that look at relapse rates with CR being the IV?

>>727334121
Easiest way to pass an A-Level psychology exam?

>>727339611
>OP, my boyfriend used to beat me up and after the one time I called the police he has never done it again, about a year ago. He expresses sign of remorse quite often, and says that was the old "insecure and stupid" him. I don't know why I stayed with him, maybe because of how many years I've known him and that I care about him. We are getting married, and what I am asking you is: can abusers actually stop for good? He swears it wont happen again. It used to happen once a week.

So, there was a study that showed that like 50% have something called a borderline personality organization.

Basically, your BF might have a borderline personality disorder. Its totally treatable, but requires high amounts of dialectical behavior therapy for like two years.

I wouldn't marry until he does that.

>>727338609

Psychotic symptoms can be a side effect of stimulants. It's fairly rare though. It's not possible to 100% predict if someone is going to have that kind of reaction, though. Welbutrin is an antidepressant; perhaps he's trying to see if working on the depression, which can have cognitive side effects like limiting concentration, will obviate the need for a stimulant.

>>727339887
I would start with Harris' Act made simple book. Its the opposite. Super easy to read.

As for my approach - I do a ton of values work - obviously. CBT is consistent with ACT, provided that you aren't doing anything for sole purpose of experiential avoidance. Does that help?

>>727340249
Seems like you care about fun, man. The issue is, are you really having fun killing your liver and wasting time?

>>727340387
>yeah, heavy depression being the main issue, it sucks and i generally have nobody to open up to about it, but thanks to it ive been fearing shit happeneing again and have had lots of tru issues since then

What does the heavy depression for you look like?

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>>727334121
>>727334121
What's the best way to deal with repressed/internalized stress?

Constant traumatic events and bullying in my teen years are truly fucking me up now that I'm in my mid 20's. Molestation, physical abuse, and for the last 6 years heavy mental abuse.

I can't let things go anymore cause I'm so scared of ending up in the same place I was when I was young. Don't know how to cope or deal with it.

Any advice?

>>727340497
flashcards

>>727340591
Thank you OP, but even if I have noticed many changes in him? He does not even show signs of anger, even if I throw a fit (pms, whatever). He says that he is fully aware of why he was acting that way. Do you still think it might be BPD?

>>727340806
>Psychotic symptoms can be a side effect of stimulants. It's fairly rare though. It's not possible to 100% predict if someone is going to have that kind of reaction, though. Welbutrin is an antidepressant; perhaps he's trying to see if working on the depression, which can have cognitive side effects like limiting concentration, will obviate the need for a stimulant.

Buproprion/wellby is also off label for adhd.

>>727339300

Actually, the understanding is there. Overusing the mind is more to do with how to put it to her, what assumptions I can/should safely make. For example, she appears careful to avoid saying a freindship is desirable. I can cause offence by explicitly giving this observation, or I can be naive and assume it's her assumption that I know a freindship is desirable. Also, 'over analyze' is an interesting choice, since I don't think I'm able to do much else to prepare for if I see her again.

Again, motivations are a bit fucked up here. I'm extremely motivated to change my behaviour, in order to change her feelings toward me, and hence, her behaviour.

My behaviour is fairly plastic apart from being hung up on her. (I am what you would call 'infatuated' with this chick by the way, just to be explicit)

My intelligent freinds are quite spread out (hence not so close) and have shit to do. My less intelligent freinds run out of attention span or working memory way before I run out of details that I think are crucially important. There are some difficulties in communicaiton. I'm working myself out of debt before I buy a therapist/consellor but it's coming. This chick was herself a therapist before.

I've tried talking with folks when I was in berlin on limited time (plus difficulty speaking) and didn't get very far. I'm part way through jordan peterson past authoring program although maybe not directly relevant. messaging folks I come up against the same barriers as messaging her (this or that is unpleasant and will get me rejected (carl rogers eh?)). Mostly I write letters and decide against sending them.

Am I lonely? Yes. Difficulty (fear) forming relationships and also wiredly dismissive of any that are available. Also I'm quite an odd guy apparantly so it's not so easy for others often (different frames of reference. rate of ideas. mumbling) . I don't know what to do about any of this.

>>727341246
Dude, have you tried seeing someone about this - if you at uni, you could go there.

>>727341373
yes. why are you with a dude who beats you?

>>727341170
Well what the fuck else is fun? Is gardening not wasting time? Is.. Inventing cancer cures not wasting time? I just do whatever I like to do now a days. Like before I was really depressed I guess you could say. I'm pretty happy though now, since I thought about it all realized it was pointless and now I just do what makes me happy. Like right now, I'm gonna blow 30 bucks on chinaman food pig out and pass out. Why? I don't know I like it. Tomorrow I'm gonna till a garden and drink tea like some kind of fuckin monk. Why? Cause life is pointless and im entertaining myself till I die I guess.

>>727341471
What did you do in the first place man?

>>727341625
you dont have to have all the answers now man.

>>727341030

Yes, actually. Terry Wilson always said that ACT is nothing new, and that Hayes was always just repackaging radical behaviorism with new jargon. Finding ways to incorporate defusion techniques in a more...organic way would be lovely, though.

>>727340591
Two things to note:

1- Lots of places practice bootleg DBT, marketing skills groups alone as DBT. Fidelity to the model is...questionable at best. Still, TC is right. He needs to make some sort of change before tying your life to his.

2- I find it funny that you mention BPD and borderline personality organization. Levels of organization is a very psychodynamic concept--you might have heard of the spectrum from psychotic-borderline-neurotic. BPD is histrionic personality structure at a borderline level of organization. The parallels between CBT and parts of dynamic theory are fascinating.

>>727341216
constantly just avoiding social situations, often dont get out of bed and skip work, and rare but still there, suicidal thoughts

>>727341578
I don't know,

How do I force myself to see a therapist? It's gotten pretty bad again, and I can't get myself to trust you people. Especially with the 1 billion different kinds of therapists there are, how do I tell a good one from a quack?

>>727341519
Nope. My father drilled it into my head that therapists are for the weak.. and going means I have to face the problems so there's heavy heavy anxiety around the subject. Being unwarrentedly told "you need help" for petty things enough times also makes me feel like I'm seceding if I go.

I really do need help but my brain is pretty fucked up and won't let me.

>>727334121

When I feel overwhelmed I blurt out random incoherent half sentences like: "I can't see", "That's not what I mean" in a confused, lost sort of way. Not like i'm talking to anyone, just muttering.

Sometimes when I'm really stressed I'll tear up my arms with my nails without realizing it.

When I can't handle it anymore, I'll do shot after shot of the strongest alcohol I have until I stop muttering. If that isn't helping I'll chain smoke, and punch the brick of my house.

I often feel like I have nothing to do. I'll sit in my rooms staring, unfocused at nothing. I like old things though, and working with my hands. Fixing clocks, typewriters, etc.

I put garbage bags over my windows, when my roommates asked about it I told them it was to block out the sun. It was partially, but also because I felt like I was being watched.

Sometimes I wake up screaming. I almost never remember what I dream but when I do it's horrifying. Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I'm kind of half smiling, but I feel like I'm still screaming.

I have friends, go to university (I get B's, and A's mostly), and have held jobs in my profession, everything is true.

I don't think I'll get help. The most "therapeutic" thing I've found for me is being outdoors (usually canoeing in Algonquin), alone, or with a couple good friends.

I could easily see my bad habits (drinking, smoking, anxiety attacks) getting out of hand, and me still not seeing anyone about my mental health.

I need to know, where is the line for me? Will I; can I stop?

>>727341419
Point. Does it also have antipsychotic effects? Most of the people I see on welby are pretty fragile and have histories of psychotic depressions.

Is there a word for thinking other people are doing something because you do it? Like if you cheat or cheated once in a video game, and someone else is better than you, you might think he cheats too because of past experiences

>>727341771
>2- I find it funny that you mention BPD and borderline personality organization. Levels of organization is a very psychodynamic concept--you might have heard of the spectrum from psychotic-borderline-neurotic. BPD is histrionic personality structure at a borderline level of organization. The parallels between CBT and parts of dynamic theory are fascinating.

I've always thought of BPO as more of like the spectrum of borderline. I got introduced to it in a social psych required class.

If it means anything to you, I use defusion way less. I think its what makes ACT more unique. But for me, the money is on changing the relationship between cognition and its power over behavior. You don't need defusion to do that.

>>727341857

Dude, often the behavior needs to come first. What I am saying is, do the social situations, then you might feel better.

>>727341762
Mm. Feels like I should I guess. But do I even need them? Or want them for that matter. I mean I'm only 22 I guess I should stop giving so much fucks. Ignorance is bliss is kinda the path I'm strolling on today. Probably change when I get old. But the thing is I feel like I should spend all my good years doing badass shit cause I probably won't live till I'm 80 like some people.

I'm single and stuck between two women right now.
Girl 1
Pros:
Wants kids
Is sweet
Is compassionate
Cons:
Massive student loan debt
Is my EX
Is quick to depression

Girl 2
Pros:
Far more attractive.
Is madly in love with me.
Has zero debt
Cons:
Hates children.
Has been sheltered her whole life.
29 and still virgin.

I really want a family but why am I so attracted to girl 2? I feel like someone is driving me to her and making me want to give up my goals of becoming a father.

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why shouldn't I an hero

>>727342047
>How do I force myself to see a therapist? It's gotten pretty bad again, and I can't get myself to trust you people. Especially with the 1 billion different kinds of therapists there are, how do I tell a good one from a quack?

This is a fan-fucking-tastic question. Finding a therapist is like dating. You might need to kiss some frogs before you find one that works for you.

I was reading a book for therapists recently. In it, the author talks about how theyve done studies of effective therapists. It's usually not at all centered around what type of therapy they do. Its more about the relationship they have with their client.

So here are some important guidelines when finding a therapist:

Do they make me feel heard?
Do they make feel respected?
Do I feel comfortable sharing things with them?
Is it helping? (check in after 10 or sessions). If not, maybe move on.

Just give it a go.

>>727342271

Right, but the term BPD is historically psychodynamic. Hell, most of DBT is repackaged Kernberg treatment. Marsha and Shireen will never admit it, but if you read Kernberg's lit, it's all there. What is definitional of a BPO is the use of primitive defenses like splitting and projective identification.

So wait a tic. I thought defusion's express purpose WAS to change the relationship between thought and its power over behavior by having people not buy into their thoughts? How do you do that without defusion? Values and narrative work?

>>727334121
bachelors in psychology doesnt make you a psychologist op.

>>727342504
>wants family
>massive student debt
Well that's fucking why OP
Also girl 2 is obviously fucking crazy in some way. I say fuck girl 2 and then drop both. Only sensible thing to do.

>>727334121
what would you diagnose yourself with if you came into your office?

>>727342080
>Nope. My father drilled it into my head that therapists are for the weak.. and going means I have to face the problems so there's heavy heavy anxiety around the subject. Being unwarrentedly told "you need help" for petty things enough times also makes me feel like I'm seceding if I go.
>I really do need help but my brain is pretty fucked up and won't let me.

My dad was the same way man, with the "you need help shit". I feel salty about it now, and I am a therapist.

Maybe the best "fuck you" to him is to prove him wrong and go. Therapy isn't for the weak. Its for the people who want a better life.

You are already facing these problems man. You are facing them ALONE. In therapy, you will have someone who can face them with you.

Seriously, your father might be my father. lol

>>727342080

Not going means the problems are nigh guaranteed to stay around indefinitely. One way to think about this is the choice between staying as distressed as you are for prolonged periods of time versus a period of struggle that has a good chance of significantly lowering your distress. Trauma is *very* treatable. Think of your values? Happiness and serenity, or the perceptions of others and being right?

Also, THIS
>>727342772

Is huge. It's food for thought regarding seeing a therapist.

>>727334121
Is it really ethical to refer people with gender identity disorder to a biological doctor when their problem is psychologically rooted?

>inb4 'they'll just kill themselves if they don't get a sex change', the suicide rate is unbelievably high regardless of receiving a sex change pre- or post-operation

>>727342117
>I could easily see my bad habits (drinking, smoking, anxiety attacks) getting out of hand, and me still not seeing anyone about my mental health.
>I need to know, where is the line for me? Will I; can I stop?

Dude, first, not to be a debby downer - but youre at the perfect age for psychosis or schizophrenia. You might could talk to someone about it.

Second, I nor anyone cant draw that line for you. You have to do that yourself. Where do you think it will be? A test tho- may be, to see if your habbits are stopping you from living the life you want to live, one thats bigger, more vital, more meaningful.

>>727342138
>Point. Does it also have antipsychotic effects? Most of the people I see on welby are pretty fragile and have histories of psychotic depressions.

I dont know :/

>>727342184
Paranoia?

>>727342504
Why are you letting your mind trick you into an either or situation. Maybe the answer is NONE of the women. Maybe theres a third out there who you will like more.

>>727341696
Missed her. Googled her. CV. Not therapist as she'd said. actually model. Find agency album of her. Nothing pink is shown but very little material that you could call modest (bikinis and stuff). The worst is a set of 3 pictures in which her upper body clothing is a poncho. Classic modeling abuse (according to my all night googling), surprise nude or indecent shoot. 'Hello, here's a net to cover your tits. Smile!' 'Oh, you don't want to do it? You'll be deep in debt to us then since we paid to bring all these men here for you to model the net.'. Also see instagram of her nude form behind on a beach. One psuedo artistic ad shot her and 2 males nude atop a bus, her loosely holsing hands with one. one more clothed female, all looking into NIGHT SKY. caption: 'We hope you all had a wonderful weekend!! ... Most of our clients in the industry are probably still a bit in shock...somebody got lucky today.... #lucky #mickfanning #shark #encounter #surfbrand #southafrika #jeffreysbay #legend #surfingmodel #backpunch #agencyatthebeach #oneill #protest #brunotti #mystic #brunotti #quiksilver #heat #attack #contest #scarystuff #advertisement #modelagency'

another one she is nude walking away from camera, middle fingers up. completely 'unfinished' by professional standards. DAWN SKY. caption Have a happy one!! #models #friday #stolenpicture #joy #agencyatthebeach #perfectbody #scheveningen #thehague #modelagency #beachlife #bikinimodels

So a bit under 5050 she boned some model (she had long term BF at the time) and almost certainly someone's mistreating her as far as I can tell. (night sky days sky could be photoshop. I don't know how clear the skies are in that part of the world, I'll find this out and look at the lighting).

I go back to my self help exercise. combining relaxation and fear pyramid. relax, visualise items int he fear pyramid, go down a rung when you loose relaxation. Top rung is she is doing big blackcocks on cam tbc

>>727342624

u cereal?

>>727342772
Read that first one "do they make me feel hard?" lol

Anyway, thanks for the answer, it's about what I expected though. It's a lot of work, and it's hard to get yourself to do it when you are thinking about offing yourself.

What even makes therapy any different from going to a voodoo-priest, if the type of therapy is not a key factor?

>>727343123
Even now I look at my reaction to everything and think "I'm weak" even though the cognitive dissonance is strongly telling me otherwise. I'm not weak I'm just human.. I can say it now but who knows how long the moment of clarity will last. Thanks for taking the time to answer me, a moment of clarity is better than no clarity

>>727343252
>Not going means the problems are nigh guaranteed to stay around indefinitely.
That's kind of a damning statement isn't it? Part of me wants to believe that some simple cognitive behavioral therapy over time could make a change.. but who knows that may just be repressing it more

>>727342784
>Right, but the term BPD is historically psychodynamic. Hell, most of DBT is repackaged Kernberg treatment. Marsha and Shireen will never admit it, but if you read Kernberg's lit, it's all there. What is definitional of a BPO is the use of primitive defenses like splitting and projective identification.
>So wait a tic. I thought defusion's express purpose WAS to change the relationship between thought and its power over behavior by having people not buy into their thoughts? How do you do that without defusion? Values and narrative work?

First of all, you obvi know more stuff about this than man. Kudos. I have my phd in school psych and work mostly with children and young adults.

Second of all, yes I focus a ton on value work. But defusion can be as simple as "did you notice what your mind said?"/ did you see that thought? can you still have that thought and do x behavior?

those sorts of things.

>>727342906
ADHD, daddy issues, and severe faggotry.

>>727343331
I don't know man. Traps are out of my wheelhouse.

seems like your letting her hotness drive you cray. get of the train man

>>727343782
Well therapy works. Some types are better for some problems than others. But the efficacy of therapy is science fact, man. Most therapists use multiple types.

You mind evolved to be a an ultimate problem solver. Its not always right Right now its saying "things are so bad, killing myself might work." That might solve that problem. But I dont think it solves in the optimal way. Go see someone man.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how likely are you to get some help.

>>727344045
>Even now I look at my reaction to everything and think "I'm weak" even though the cognitive dissonance is strongly telling me otherwise. I'm not weak I'm just human.. I can say it now but who knows how long the moment of clarity will last. Thanks for taking the time to answer me, a moment of clarity is better than no clarity

You are a human, man. Keep on asking the tough questions anon.

>>727343469
I dont know what psychotic means, or else i would answer it.

Im the guy from
>>727338609

when my boyfriend pushes me to my breaking point i completely lose my mind; screaming, wailing and sobbing, i hit my head very hard like ive smashed my phone screen on my head. why do i get like this

>>727345071
I think he was trying to treat both the depression and ADHD. is it working? how long ya been on it?

>>727343745

I'm not great at relaxing, but I think I get to the top rung. Eventually get a plane to see her (I get into debt to book a week out there). She's releived her secret is out (just modeling job). Nobody mistreats her, but she has done things she isn't proud of. I'm trying not to cry and don't press for details. I spend 4 hours trying to talk to her. we discover that sitting down seems to be a precondition for this to work most of the time. It's mentioned that nudity on the beach is no big deal. People who I spoke to about it say modeling is no big deal. I assume porn is worth more than prostitution, the camera line is already crossed, oh shit! It's fucking porn.

She'll only see me once the whole week I'm in that country (west eu. Sorry, scared to out anyone on 4chan). I have no idea if she has a super full schedule (or what or who is in it), if she just dislikes me, both, or other. I'm loosing all my composure, begging her to see me again. Telling her i love her for the first time on facebook chat just so she'll respond (I'm old school english. We don't fuck about with that word). I try to explain my difficulty talking to her. daddy issues (my dad is all fucked up and mentally ill/abusive from a car crash age 3-4, something has been fucking affecting me all these years, why not that?), childhood freind who helped me deal with it fucks off to italy and writes me a letter with no retrun address. All my undignified embarassing stuff just so she'll call me 'lovely anon' or send me the smiley face with red cheeks on it. it works. reward. behaviourism. yay! Onward to porno, since this seems the next sensible expression at the time. I tried raising my concerns (that were really eating away at me), including the inaccurate and unretractable line 'I think it's porn' [that you're ashamed of doing]. Also I mention some of the times she has told me contradicting things (I have a boyfreind, yet am single on facebook) (suggested anduncomfirmed:itsthesame1 tbc)

>>727334121
are you a religious person?

>>727345301
nope

>>727345210
Ive been on the full dose for 2 weeks now. I get annoyed much more easily, and if i wasn't as patient, i would flip it a lot. That being said, i haven't been late for work since

>>727345217
actually, that brings us to present. thoughts?

>>727345548
maybe your best letting her go?

>>727341857
honestly despite this, talking about this does feel better a little bit, so im thankful to that, thanks man, i just never went to a therapist because i couldnt afford it (still cant) but thanks man, this was the break i needed

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My mother is dying and so is my girlfriend. They will both be dead within the next five years. Will this fuck me up in the long run??

>>727343747
ye

no reason to exist etc.
why keep doing the life thing?

>>727345373
well, then you´re trustworthy...

>>727344862
Prolly an 8. Those questions have been on my mind for a while now, I just took the opportunity to ask one of you guys before having to actually get off my ass. Also, I have people now who are important to me, which is why I actually want to get better.

What makes it complicated is that what I want to get over in the first place is (broadly speaking) my fear of people and intimacy. And to do that I need a therapist, and to see a therapist I need to get over it, and so it keeps going in circles

>>727345640
Tried. More time?

>>727345842
>My mother is dying and so is my girlfriend. They will both be dead within the next five years. Will this fuck me up in the long run??

I dont know :/

>>727346136
aye, more time. Maybe come up with a funny nickname when you catch your self thinking of her. Say "oops theres the twatgobbler story again"

>>727334121
why the fuck is everything an disorder? adjustment disorder, opioid disorder, right foot first disorder, coffee disorder, left foot first disorder. seems like a fucking crap shoot. go to work disorder, work shift disorder, wipe my ass disorder.

>>727346523
Its just a way to categorize complex human behavior. I dont get to caught up in it.

>>727346136
How much time/effort are you putting into thinking about her.