No fluffy thread?

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>>727229229

BUMP!!! WHERE ARE THE PICS???

Make it an abuse thread please

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>>727232363

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>>727232579

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>>727232614
These are all my sea fluffy stuff.

>>727229229
They got water versions now? I love how autism evolves.

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They're here...

>>727232151
Is that it?

o, my roommate Craig decided to get a fluffy. I was weirded out, but - hey, why not? My mom has one. It's a dense little thing, but no dumber than her Chihuahua. Thing is, Craig's a bit of a bastard. He spends half his time online on /b/, and the other half of the time trolling paranormal and conspiracy theory websites. So, you know - I was prepared to call down the wrath of the local animal control down if he was just getting a fluffy for the purpose of torturing it.

I came home and he was at the computer, watching some stupid Youtube horror series and eating chili. Didn't see a fluffy around - thank god, right? Sat down, asked if he decided not to get one.

"Oh, I got one."

"...where is it? I thought you were supposed to keep an eye on them for the first day or two."

"Yeah, well, Smarties are a little more independent." I could feel the hair rise on the back of my neck.

"Dude...you got a smarty?"

"Yeah! Named him Benito. Last I saw, he was taking apart my old Discman."

"Dude - are you crazy? I mean, I know some guys abuse the snot out of fluffies, but you're just - you had to get a defective one just so you had a reason to?" Craig's face fell. He stared up at me for a long second.

"...what the fuck you mean, 'abuse'?

>>727234742
"I - you aren't? I mean, you're leaving it alone-"

"Yeah, it's a fuckin' SMARTY. He's gonna be fine."

"And you left him alone with... electronics, and enough tools to do stuff with it."

"Yeah. I didn't give him a soldering iron, I'm not sadistic. Just - you know, screwdriver, hammer, some snips. He'll be cool with it."

"But - just-" I sputtered a few times. "Okay, I'm - I'm lost here. You said you wanted a fluffy."

"Yeah."

"And instead of a genetically-modified hugmachine, you got a tiny little sociopath? On purpose? Dude... why?" It was about then that I heard a noise like a firecracker going off from the hallway, and a tiny little green ball of fluff was propelled from the bathroom into the wall opposite the door. I stared as the little guy - Benito - glared at us, and then thrust a fuzzy not-quite-hoof into the air.

"HYOOMAN! I rekwiwwuh moah PWUTONIUM!" And back into the bathroom he waddled. I stared at him. Then turned back to Craig, who was grinning his face off.

"Because I LIKE him."

It's been a month since then. Benito's still a fuzzy little dictatorial asshole, Craig is still delighted by him, and I've lost four obsolete MP3 players, a desktop that I was GOING to get around to rebuilding, and a vacuum cleaner that was actually still good.

I'll give the little ball of dickishness credit, the hovercraft is pretty cool, though.

>>727234402
Moar of this

>>727234742
>>727234779
This is pretty damned funny. Please tell me there's more.

>>727234779
I'm super onboard with the idea that smarties can be evil geniuses.

So they chirp for what, a couple hours?

Then they can cognitively process information, complete languages and understand objects with no previous understanding or recollection?

>When the autistic drawings are more intelligent than the fan-base.

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>>727234823

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>>727235753
depends on who writes it