Paramedic here. I'll be on for a little while, ask me anything.

>>727197871
How many hours a day do you work?
What's the most fucked up shit you've seen?
What's the most retarded shit that you've seen?

barry

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>>727198028
I work 14 hours a day, 3 days a week, Sat Sun Mon. Most fucked up is a tie between a guy who jumped 14 stories and being on scene while a dog ripped a guy's face open. Most retarded is someone who called us because she had lumps under arm. Not kidding.

>>727197871
Got any interesting stories worth reading?

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>>727199349
So we were dispatched to a traffic accident on the highway at about 5 in the morning. When we arrived on scene we found it was a 2-car MVC on the shoulder of the road, with one vehicle rear-ending the other. Pretty bad crash, it was clear the rear vehicle was moving at least 70 mph. The front vehicle's backseat didn't exist anymore. That's when we found our first pt, male in his 20's. He apparently had decided to pull over and go to sleep, maybe he was drunk. The other two pt's were the driver and passenger of the other vehicle, guy and his girlfriend. They were fucking wasted and drugged out of their minds. So as it turned out this guy was driving drunk, lost control of his vehicle at 70mph, managed to hit the only other car on the side of the road. The guy who was sleeping was fucked up. I'm pretty sure he was hit in the head by the front of the other car because of the position he was laying in. GCS 3, unresponsive.

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>>727200141
So we transported the critical pt to the local level 1 trauma center. Found out later they had to remove part of his brain to keep him alive but then he died the next day. Interestingly later on that day we saw the driver of the other vehicle in another hospital, accompanied by a state trooper. They were testing his BAC so they could charge him. I haven't been summoned to court yet but i'm sure i will have to be

Holy shit moreeee

>>727197871
I'm in medic school and I want to an hero. Fuck pharmacology

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Did have a case that showed how great bystander CPR and AEDs are. We got dispatched to a golf course, 12th hole for a cardiac arrest. It was the golf caddie who went down, he had been working all day and just collapsed at one point in front of everyone. Another employee started CPR while someone got the AED. Guy took one shock and came back, was alive and talking when we got there. Easiest cardiac arrest I've ever worked. He didn't believe us when we told him he had died until he saw all the pads and shit on him. Did a 12-lead on the way to the hospital, he had a STEMI. Took him straight to the cath lab, found out he had an almost total LAD occlusion. Dude survived a Widowmaker. Fucking unreal

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>>727200978
Lol pharmacology. I love giving drugs, crazy shit happens when you do. You gone through cardiology yet? If you have a good instructor it's not too bad but fuck me I had some trouble

do you ever steal the drugs when responding to overdoses?

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>>727201434
Nah I like my job. Plus seeing people when they overdose makes me never want to do them. And we have PD on scene on all those so I wouldn't be able to get away with if i wanted to lol

bumping for more stories

hey OP how long have you been a paramedic?

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Guess I should go into detail about the dog attack. I work system status which means I get posted to various places around the county based on how busy it is. So we're at post, watching tv when I hear screams, i thought it was coming from the tv. Then I realized it was coming from outside. Looked out the window, saw a guy on the ground with a pitbull on his chest biting him on the face, arms and legs. We didn't go outside, I'm not that stupid, so we call for PD and fire. Guy manages to get up, jumps into a stranger's pickup truck and they start driving down the street with the dog chasing the truck trying to get at him. Fire shows up, one firefighter climbs on the top of the fire truck and sprays water at the dog to keep it down. Dog's already treed 2 other people and is chasing more on the other side of the street, fire captain is driving the brush truck to block the dog.
>>727202463
I've been a medic for about a year so i'm sure i'll have more stories for later

>>727202908
what did they end up doing with/to the dog?

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>>727202908
So PD finally shows up and when they do the pickup truck swings back around, the victim jumps out of the bed of the truck and runs inside and i start taking care of him. Cheek ripped open, right earlobe gone, punctures on both legs and arms, defensive wounds on his hands, and a scratch on his neck. While i'm working on him an officer shows up to take a quick statement. That's when my partner runs in and tells the officer that her partner is being attacked by the dog. So now we have two patients. Then a police sergeant shows up and they still haven't shot this dog, they're trying to catch it. Finally the sergeant gives the order and they break out the shotgun, took 3 blasts to put the damn thing down. Officer was fine, he was bitten on the hand. Saddest part of the whole things was our first pt had been shopping for food for his cousin who wasn't able to leave her apartment, he kept begging us to bring along the food so that she could get it later. Bless the cops in this case, they drove the groceries to his cousin's house and then drove the cousin to the hospital. Our victim was a big guy, but he was shaking and fucking terrified, i felt so bad for him. This took place on new year's eve, i think the dog was amped for a fight.

>>727203447
fuck

did you used to be in the military or is it just an interest of yours?

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>>727203535
I know right? Shit was crazy, i don't fuck with dogs on scenes anymore. People need to put them in another room or secure them, I'm not dealing with that. My safety is paramount, more than anybody's.
>>727203653
No but i was a member of FEMACorps, that sparked my interest in emergency response and i always wanted to be in medicine, so i just put the two together.

>>727203872
>FEMACorps
do you get sick of people asking about FEMA camp-related conspiracy theories?

>>727197871
is it true that in the military women have easier test or need lower grades to pass?

>>727203447
I Know exactly how bad dogs are. A German Shepherd mauled me and grabbed my gun arm. Put 8 in him from offhand and when emt got there all I could hear was EEEEEEEEEEEEE so I had no fucking clue what they were saying. 18 puncture wounds in my forearm. God bless you guys. A good friend is an emt in SC with lex med

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>>727204139
Ha no I love them. More than anything else i get a kick out of how much people think FEMA is capable of. It's a bureaucracy, they can't order printer paper without a shitload of hassle.
>>727204196
I wouldn't know, but i've heard from friends in the military that the physical test is a bit lighter but the written and mental tests are the same.

>>727197871
Can we see your gear doc?

>>727204349
Good on you for taking care of that, sucks to hear about the injuries. Any deficit after?
>>727204471
yeah gimme a sec

>>727197871
Has the smell of burning/burnt human flesh deterred you at all from regular food products like pork/chicken?

>>727197871
I'm guessing you haven't been doing this very long huh.

>>727202908
>>727203447
That's a pretty intense story! I hate dogs/animals like that and I don't understand why they didn't shoot/kill that motherfucking pitbull sooner/immediately. It's nice to hear that you're compassionate and that seeing the big guy be so emotional and afraid affected you. I hope the big guy was OK, as he sounds like a good person, being so concerned about his cousin. Also, respect to the cops who drove her the groceries and then took her to the hospital to see the big guy. Hearing about that dog attack makes me really want to try to get another gun ASAP, as I don't know what the fuck I would/could do if I found myself in a situation like that, with a dog attacking me or seeing it attack someone else, but I would most definitely be eager to pump bullets in to anything, animal or person, that was attacking some innocent. Hearing your description of those events reminds me how powerful and dangerous, and scary, dogs can be.

By the way, has anyone ever tipped you? Given you guys cash or a gift card or something like that? Or offered to do something nice after you helped them somehow?

Also, what is your opinion on police officers? Do you think that most of them are good people, doing a really fucking difficult, stressful, underappreciated job? I used to be something of a cop-hater, after being fucked with over minor shit when I was younger, but now that I'm in my 40s and have kids and have actually had help from police officers while in a truly scary personal situation, I have much love and respect for LEOs, as rule. Obviously, there are exceptions, but I believe that most people who become police officers want, and try, to do the right things and to help others.

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>>727204471
here you are, don't have the stethoscope it's in my car with my rain and bunker gear and i'm too lazy to grab it
>>727204539
not too much, burning hair and plastic is worse
>>727204706
nah like i said i'm relatively new

>>727204902
Thanks man and that's pretty cool bout how much are you payed and how long did it take to be a combat med?

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>>727204747
people try to tip us, but we're not allowed to accept any. Had a guy offer to buy us beers, left him a business card with my work email on it, haven't heard from him yet. PD pretty's good here but they have no idea how to handle medical problems so we get called for bullshit from them often. Most of them are pretty good people, haven't had too many dicks

hottest drug of the moment?

>>727204525
Nope. I'm a tower climber (or was) so my forearms were huge. All that muscle I'm assuming helped. Not really any scars but I've also tattooed over them now. Owner threatened to sue me but my family lawyer wrote up a jaw dropping countersuit and dropped it off along with several articles from papers about similar suits being successful for the victim. She quickly changed tone and covered medical bills.

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>>727205042
Not a combat med, make about 16$/hr
>>727205152
Heroin and lately we've been seeing it cut with fentanyl and now carfentinal, nasty shit. Takes a lot of Narcan to reverse it, people have to go on Narcan drips on the hospital sometimes.

>>727205312
Whoops my brain went a wrong direction so a paramed is what i mean't kek

>>727205312
do you advice against doing heroin?

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>>727205410
Ha no worries. Glad to hear you're ok
>>727205499
I very much do, if for no other reason than you have no idea what it's cut with. Heroin itself won't kill you, the respiratory depression an overdose causes will.
And i'm out of wallpapers

>>727197871
You ever feel up a hot chicks tits while she was unconscious?

>>727197871
We select 7 playing cards out of 32. What is the probability that among the selected cards there are exactly three hearts ?

>>727206349
Not worth the lawsuits. If there's any hint that somebody might accuse me of that sort of thing I have a police officer ride with me, to have a CYA. It's unfortunate, i know some medics and emts who lost their jobs and licenses due to being stupid. Plus most people are ugly in the back of an ambulance

>>727206605
Depends. Is there a full suit of hearts in the deck or is it split evenly between the suits?
Fuck me i still can't do the math

>>727206605
17.7%

>>727207062
Good to know. I took statistics in high school, it's been a while

>>727204747
I don't know about you, but if I'm ever in a situation where a powerful dog like that was attacking me, I'd be gouging eyes. I'd shove my hand down it's throat so it chokes. I'd try to smother it with my body, or break it's neck. There is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do if placed in that situation. And I love dogs. But bad ones need to be put down.

>>727207170
When doing match in school you think why will i ever need this, there will be some point when it comes in handy

>>727197871

Ever have sex on the job? if so with who?

Rode oortjes

>>727207336
This guy was doing his best. at one point, while trying to make a break for the pickup truck he grabbed the dogs collar and forced its head down, at first i thought maybe he was dog's owner
>>727207488
you know that's what they said about calculus but other than attempting to help my sister i haven't found a use yet
>>727207591
oh hell no. sucks getting a call while taking a shit, i can't imagine getting one while having sex. and i'm definitely not having sex in the back of the ambulance, nasty as fuck

OP is not a fag
OP is pretty cool

>>727208301
He could've used greentext tbh

>>727208301
thanks man
>>727208444
yeah prob could but i'm used to writing my pt reports this way

>>727208444
Greentexting takes too much time tbh
Nice trips

>>727207336
I agree with you and I would definitely be ready to try to fuck shit up as soon as I realized that a dog/any animal was trying to attack me and possibly maim or kill me. I get legitimately scared of dogs, though; so I'm not gonna act like I wouldn't be afraid of one, because I would be. I like your thinking, though. I, too, would do whatever the fuck I could to try to kill the thing as soon as I realized that it was going to try to harm me. I don't know how realistic it would be to do so, especially, while actually being in a situation like that, but I would think that trying to pick the dog up in the air and then slam it down on the ground as hard/violently as possible to try to kill it or, at least, knock it unconscious or disable it, would be a good strategy. Or if I could get some distance and grab a decent-sized rock or something similar, I would try to smash it in to the dog's head or throw it and break some bones in its face.

Writing up this response, though, has made me realize how fucking scary and difficult it would likely actually be to defend yourself from a powerful dog like a pit bull. Especially, a heavy one. If I had a gun, though, and a dog was attacking me or someone else, I would not hesitate to shred the motherfucker apart with multiple rounds to the face!

Hate to say but I gotta get going. Been fun talking to you guys, maybe at some point I'll back with some more stories
>>727209219
Yeah that guy got lucky, only had the scratch on his neck. Very obvious the dog was going for his neck