Cringiest childhood memories thread

grade 3 through 6 i used to run with my arms behind my back, thinking i'd run faster.

i'd also get
>OFFENDED DXXXX
when someone would say pokemon is stupid.

>be me 8th grade
>group of friends and I can do Mickey Mouse impressions spot on
>create and lead Mickey cult
>during lunch go to field where beaners play soccer (this was in San Diego)
>locate target
>send Mickey henchman to go tackle said targe
>roughy 10 kids sprinting at one kid chanting Mickey Mouse "ho ho"a
>kid falls
>henchman kick the shit out of kid
>friend and I on the outside of the circle chanting "consume the flesh of the fallen"
>get kicked off field
>become feared among the class

This continued for about 2 weeks until we got bored. True story btw.

>>727128890
in 7th grade, i slipped my dick out of my underwear so that when i was sitting in class, if you looked up my shorts you could see it. im pretty sure people saw it, but noboy ever said anything. Still makes me sweat just thinking about it. But I make sure not to forget that shit, otherwise I would be bound to repeat my cringiness.

>>727129306
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B1rXxwX-2E

is this you?

>be me 8th grade
>chad femi beaner hybrid threw bag of peaches at shirt
>chased him
>turned around with arms flailing
>broke glasses
>SUPERCHARGE TACKLED HIM
>beat the shit out of him for five seconds
>kicked him in the stomach once whilst being separated
>"I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE" in front of computer teacher
>Chad's face bleeding
>look like psychopath, shirt has bloodstain
>fear me

>>727129571
that's not cringe. that's fucking amazing.

>>727129306
did you also think Pokémon were real?

>be me 7th grade
>reconnected with long lost cousin who's 19
>she's staying the night at my house one evening

Horny preteen.jpg

>get the idea to set my phone up in the guest room while she's in the shower
>set to record
>hide in blankets with camera peeping

TimeToWait.jpg

>hear her come out and wait for her to again exit the room
>she stays in there for a good hour
>stepmom enters her room
>decide to acquire cellphone while they're talking
>enter room and see the phone on the desk
>about shit my pants
>cousin says she found the phone in the blankets and saw me recording
<start literally panicking
<take the phone back to my room and delete video immediately
<hide in shame with blue balls
<mfw

>>727130218
Lmao yeah it's more funny than cringy I suppose

>>727130774
Did you get punished?

>>727130218
this shit here nigger.

>>727131195
No, she only told me in private. We kept it a secret. I hid in my room for the rest of the night. And it was never spoken of again

>>727128890
The Misadventures of Flapjack.
The entire show.

>>727128890
Watched a girl take a shit in like 3rd grade.

>then later the staff collected the shit and in looked like a cookie a squashed up.

>Then i asked the staff hey can i have that cookie

I was fucking autistic back then

when I was in grade three my friend showed me the pony.mov series. I started watching my little pony ironically. my whole class knew about it. It stopped being ironic after a bit and i got into it, so did some of my friends. Now when i see my extended family every year or two thats all anyone brings up.

>>727128890
>Be me, around 8
>Knew what sex was, knew that dick went into pussy
>At aunt's house.
>16-17 year old cousin with his friends I'm the back
>They ask me if I know what sex is and how girl get pregnant
>Say you piss inside them
>Mfw

>>727132044
3rd grade? didn't that shit come out in 2011? Aren't you a bit young to be on here?

>>727132109
You were 8 that shit wasn't your fault, anon

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>>727132109
I thought the same thing

>>727128890
I was certain i was allergic to bees, so id cry and run from bees all the way into 3rd grade. A bee stung me in 3rd grade, and i didnt cry, just made peace with dying (i was unaware id die in minutes if i was allergic to bees)

I gave away my skateboard, and told my science teacher he was a kooshbag (i had heard it from my uncle, and didn't know what a douche was)

When i lived to see the weekend, i was sure it was a miracle and promised to be good.

http://www.muchgames.com/users/fresk98023
I want to die.

>>727129571
Muh sides, take them

>Be me around 10 years old
>Get invited to friend's house to play legos
>fuckyeah.psd
>He has other friends there too
>tell a yo mama joke I heard in a cartoon
>silence
>Find out the kid I told the joke to, his mother passed away two weeks ago
>killmepls

I never forgot it

>>727129647
I got caught with my dick out of my pants in 3rd grade by my teacher and she did a facial jesture. Dont think I've ever zipped my pants up quite as fast as I did there. Zipped them b4 kids saw luckily.

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Once I wrote these really disgusting sexually explicit pictures in a magazine that we had to turn back in at the end of class. I drew a really dirty cartoon girl spreading her oussy open.

I panicked when we had to turn them back in and I purposely shuffled mine out of order. This girl got in trouble for it.

The teacher thought it was her because of the order we turned them in and because the stuff was all from a female perspective "eat my wet pussy" etc...

Later it was found out that her and her brother were being sexually abused by their dad and they moved away.

I always felt bad about that.

I'm still a pervert.

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>>727129306
Dont worry anon, I used to do the same thing except in like kindergarten and I was pretending to be Sonic
I guess you can say I was running around at the speed of sound

>>727128890
>>Be me around 10 years old
>>Get invited to friend's house to play legos
>>fuckyeah.psd
>>He has other friends there too
>>tell a yo mama joke I heard in a cartoon
>>silence
>>Find out the kid I told the joke to, his mother passed away two weeks ago
>>killmepls
>
>I never forgot it
That happened to me in 7th grade, but I knew the kid close as hell.
Killme.jpg

>>727132875
I want to do a reference. But I don't remember what the movie is called. The one where the guy gets his dick stuck in the zipper

>>727132999
Checkd senpai

>>727133108
Something about mary

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>>727133108

FRANKS N BEANS!

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not really childhood but back in like 2005 my brothers friends used to pick on me a lot, tease me and tickle me winky every day just leave at like 6am before anyone else really got up. It was fun while it lastedd boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

>shit my pants at the school fair
>There were rides and animals and such
>teacher asks me if i had an accident
>Fear shes gunna beat me like my mom did whenever something happened
>Told her that guy tried to lure me somewhere and i pooped in fear
>That guy was a priest who was part of the fair attendees
>twist is, he actually was a child molester it was later found out

The real reason i shit was a goat scared me

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>6
>Supermarket.
>In front of cashier
>"mom, take this, dad's gonna say i'm the best son ever"
>cheap ass 2L brick of cheap ass wine (0.76€)
>ihavenoson.jpg

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>>727128890

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dad wasnt ada

>>727133650
Elaborate?

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breakast with a big man

>Be 13
>10 year old cousin wants to play truth or dare with two other cousins with me
>all three have had my 13 yr old cock in their mouth
>goes to beach next day
>10 yr old cousin brags about swishing my sperm in her mouth to her friend
>Friend thought it would be a good idea to invite one of the cousins siblings to join us
>Sibling tells aunt
>Everything breaks down

>>727133650
It's the thought that counts anon

>>727133853
holy fuck what happen?

>>727128890
Playing magic the gathering.

One of the people that came to the shop made fun of me, so I fucked his sister who was in my grade after my dirtbag friend got her and her friend high as fuck, she was a virgin also.

The next year she got pregnant and went from cute as fuck to hideous as fuck, but that was middle school after all.

>>727132615
Holy shit I forgot about much games. Let not bring that back up

>>727133640
Sauce me up fampai.

>>727133991
>>727133922
>>727133869
>>727133809
>>727133739
>>727133689
>>727133640
>90% of /b/ is porn
>finally find a thread not porn related
>spammed with porn
This is why we cant have nice things anon

>>727133996
>>727133853
Part 2 (sorry i hate remembering this honestly)
>Aunt and uncle decide to have ex cop friend interrogate me
>He's a cool guy and understands why kids my age play with our genitals
>Tells him
>He tells parents
>Goes home by myself embarassed
>Next day tells grandparents and they ssay just be calm
>Uncle comes over, he isn't too upset but tells my mom
>Mom comes in red faced and in tears asking what happened
>I break down and idk what to do
>Never come out of my room for an entire week

>>727134388
Part 3
>WEek later
>Police knock on door
>Aunt (not blood related) had went to police
>Has to go to the police station
>Nervous as fuck, my world is falling apart here
>goes to the same school with cousins siblings
>Having a fear that they may tell everyone at school what i did
>Tells officer my pants fell down and they forced themselves on me
>He saw through it
>Gets sent home
>can't be alone with female cousins ever
>When ever my door is shut to my room and their here my family will always yell for me to keep it open
>Gets reminded about this every day
>Guests one day ask why
>Can never explain why
>guests never want me to play with their kids now
>rip

>Be me
>grade 4
>kid in class wraps pogo in tin foil
>stuffs in microwave
>heats for 10 min because microwave is shot
>combustion
>huge fire erupts
>lunch lady comes running in
>fans the fucking flames
>I burst into tears
>I'm going to die
>principle runs in
>throws wet rags in fire
>didn't do shot
>pogo is chared
>fire goes out on its own
>I walk home in piss stained pants

>>727134660
holy fuck that sucks

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>>727134207

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>>727134783

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>be in 5th grade
>hung out with two kids from the neighborhood
>they were cousins
>the younger one lived one house down
>the younger one had this kid who hung around
>though he was a dick
>the two friends couldn't stand him either
>we come up with a plan
>we form a club
>we call it the gang bang club
>He wants to join
>It's 5th grad, have no idea what gang bang means, It sounded cool.
>Tell him he has to go through the test.
>we proceed to beat this kid in various ways from Indian Burns to kicking him in the nuts.
>this goes on for a couple of days
>Finally I come up with the ultimate test
>Go to my house, get out the blender. Put ketchup, ,mayo, mustard, relish, red pepper, shit ton of salt, beef, whisky, you name it in your fridge, I put it in there
>"Time for the final test. Drink it!"
>Mother fucker drank the whole god damn thing
>I look at my two friends in shock!
>go upstairs, grab one of my brothers penthouse magazines and give it to him
>Tell him he's in the Gang Bang club
>Two friends look at me like, WTF?

Years later we talked about that incident. I told them. "That kid was tough as fucking nails. He earned that Penthouse."

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>>727135231
>>727135180
>>727135134
>>727135084
>>727135037
Dont make me anon

I was 10 and my half brother was 3. He had just taken a bath and was jumping around naked in our room. I didn't understand entirely the sexuality of genitalia. I thought it was silly looking and yanked on it a lil. It tickled him and he laughed hysterically so I kept doing. Then his mom walked past, and yelled at me and told my dad. I still don't know if they thought I was like molesting him. I'm a female too, to put the story into perspective.

>Be me
>sophomore in highschool
>friend brings up the ben 10 reboot that's coming out
>we watch like 5 minutes of the first episode and "roast" it
>roast was weak but was still fun
>I talk about how ben 10 was my childhood and I remember it being pretty good
>at home later that day
>decide to watch ben 10
>ultimate alien since that was around the time I stopped watching
>pretty good
>don't stop watching
>watch all seasons eventually
>can't stop wont stop.jpg
>watch the original series, then watch alien force, even omniverse
>and watched all movies in between
>I'm obsessed
>start memorizing the species names of all of the aliens
>idea.flv
>youtube persona that's that's an extreme version of me, totally obsessed with ben 10 and very emotional about it
>Ben10UltimateFan
>think it's the best idea ever
>didn't tell anyone
>can't stop talking about ben 10
>friends pretty weirded out
>another idea
>a reboot of the ben 10 reboot that's so terrible it's good
>tell friends
>they're on board
>cont.

>>727135936
>cont.
>write an entire script
>friends do lines and send them to me
>visuals made in ms paint
>lots 'o' earrape
>make Ben10UltimateFan account
>upload
>we think it's hilarious
>show some other friends at school
>they think it's funny
>write episode 2
>even longer
>we make it with a couple more friends voice acting
>even funnier
>more people are starting to know about it
>more people say they want to be in it
>write episode 3
>even better than the last
>even more voice actors
>a couple of voice actors got embarrassed being in it and quit
>oh fuck
>after episode 3 people start to lose interest
>fml
>have 3 more episode written out
>no one's recorded any lines
>I put in 95% of the work for the episodes
>spend entire days working on them
>life revolves around ben 10
>still no one records their lines
>expand ben 10 knowledge
>can name almost every species from memory
>this is my life now
>mfw they stopped caring but ben 10 is my life
>mfw if anyone who's opinion I cared about found out I'd be ruined

>>727135831
Also my aunt had this puppy when I was 7/8 and it did something bad so I put it in a cooler for a time out. I forgot about it and it died. They called child services on me.

>>727132524
kek thats pretty good

>>727136211
My fucking sides

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I was over a mormon kids house (they were all cool) and there was about 6 of us.

The kid whose house we were in started talking with his best friend and called him Semen.

I started laughing and saying, "heh, semem" and it got dead quiet.

The Semen kid looked at me with daggers in his eyes and told me they all called him by his last name--

Seaman

>MFW

>>727136211
Another dog story.

My mom's boyfriends dog (I was 11 or so this time) ate the last piece of pizza and my only dinner right out of my hand. I bit him in the ear so hard he bit my face, I had to get 6 stitches above my lip.


I could go on.

>>727130083
childhood cringe not present day cringe

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>be 12
>be at aunts place
>Horny as fuck
>would touch sleeping cousins genitals when they slept
>aunt falls asleep on couch
>shes a drunk
>one of her legs is hanging over the couch
>Still awake
>lifts up her dress
>Sees her betty boop panties
>"whoa" horniest i've been
>starts pulling them off
>Sees a huge black bush fluff
>Feels the sweat from her minge and smells the fish
>Literally sick
>literal blue waffle on my aunt
>Skips aunt
>mfw im greatful my cousins clean theirs

>>727135980
also this isn't really childhood cringe, more like current life cringe

>>727133650
gold star for effort

>>727136544
you should've put your dick in it

>>727134712
rip my sides but wtf is a pogo

Not really cringy but weird I guess

I was like 10 at the time and was already getting horny and stuff but couldnt cum. So what I would do is hold my pee as long as I can and get hard to then I would go to the girls bathroom and sit on the toilet but backwards with my pants off. Then I would release it felt good I guess. I really dont know why i did that.

>>727132615

>Born in 2002
>14 years old
>underage b&

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>>727134660

>went to private christian school grades 2-3
>go on field trip for a picnic
>anon let's go play tag in the forest
>fuck yeah dude
>shit happens, end up talking about some kid's friend while he's next to me behind his back
>he tells his friend
>fuck
>"What did you say about me, Anon?"
>they chase me
>i hold my fucking ground
>hold up my middle finger to them and say "don't make me use this!" as if I was holding up a fucking gun but to a bunch of brainwashed kids it basically was
>looking back on that i genuinely sweat thinking about it

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>>727137121

It'll be our secret

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>>727137044
Dick shaped breaded weiner on a stick

>>727137641
oh lmao in america we call those corn dogs

dont microwave them they just get soggy. if ya want em crispy ya gotta use the oven

>be my
>8 years old
>Wanted to draw cartoons
>Make little comic strips
>Shit drawer
>The people look retarded
>Literally just heads with arms and >I tried to mix drama and humor so it attempts to be "serious" in some of the strips
>My mom still has those
>Mom showed them to my gf the other day

>>727137755
>Literally just heads with arms and legs

I'm confused on how this is retarded, explain?

>>727137753
I don't eat those anymore. They keep me up at night.

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>>727137886
nigger you what

>Be 6
>Alone in room with 7 years old cousin
>She wants to play mom and dad but in the hospital... doctor and nurse basically
>She wanted me to be the patient
>Tell me that she sees something wrong in my ass so i have to take off pants
>Im on the bed and she is rubbing my ass
>Im starting to get a hard on
>She notices and tells me that she wants to have a better look so i have to sit on the bed
>She starts looking at it and eventually give it a kiss
>I dont even know what to do so i just stay there like a statue
>She kisses my dick a couple of more times
>Right at that moment her dad walks in
>I panic and cover myself
>She looks at him with fear and tells him "He was having pain in his thingie so i wanted to help him"
>He freaks out on us and tell my parents
>They punished us after the clasic parents beating
>We could not be alone in the same room without a parent go in and yells at us for like 6 months
>At that time my family was passing a hard time so we where living in their house
>1 year later
>Everything went normal again
>My cousin and i started a game where if she puts on a hat i had to do everything she says.
>So often wen we came home we ran for that hat
>Things started to get naughty again
>This time i stopped it when she wanted to do "more than oral"
>A couple of months later we moved out
>We still living close now
>we still giving secret looks once in a while
>Sometimes we kiss
>But we are always afraid of more

I dont really want to go any further with our thing, a couple of years ago she wanted me to have her virginity, i said no. Im 21 now and she is a 8/10 22 years old. English is not my first language btw.

>>727137958
Those are actually kind of cute. Post a few strips?

>>727137975
fake and gay

>>727137958
Top fucking kek anon

>>727138146
They don't look anything like that. It's more like a deformed oval with spongebob legs and arms with those retarded stick hands

Post the 8/10 22 year old cousin but just the body and holy fucking shit you moron 8/10?!?!? Go for it you mega beta, you kiss for gods sake

>>727138269
Kek I can relate :p

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>be 7-8 year old me
>used to wearing tighty whiteys all of my life
>mom buys me my first pair of king kong boxers
>feelsweirdman.jpg
>feels like shorts but thinner
>continue to wear my new boxers and play video games
>friend comes over
>mom calls me down
>begin to run down in my boxers
>get downstairs and nobody notices that I'm in my boxers
>get bike from garage and ride over to friends house unaware that I'm still wearing boxers
>arrive to friends house and play more video games
>have to use bathroom
>go into bathroom to take a piss
>pull down pants
>after I finish and go to pull up my pants, I noticed that I only pulled up underwear and not pants
>look down and realize that I'm in my underwear
>shit
>pull up underwear and tell my friend that I left something at home and that I need to get it
>ride home as fast as I can realizing that I had been walking around in my underwear in front of my friend and his whole damn family and no one said a damn word
>finally arrive home
>mom asks why I'm back
>explain
>she laughs and gives me some pants
>mfw I don't know if I should be proud that no one noticed or ashamed that I went around the neighborhood and in my friends house in my underwear for around 45 minutes

It doesn't even make me cringe, I laugh about it now.

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>>727128890
cringe is not a word in 4chan newbie.
please leave.

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>be 7 year old me
>Mom's friend needed help moving so she takes me along to help
>Mom's friend has a baby duckling with a broken leg that she's nursing back to health
>My job is to watch the duck and make sure it doesn't run away
>Easy enough. It can only hobble anyway
>There's a kitty pool full of water the duck likes to play in so I take it there
>Remember ducks sometimes go underwater
>Submarineducky.gif
>Put duck under the water but it keeps going back up immediately
>keep it under for longer like the other ducks
>Mfw I drowned a baby handicapped duckling

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>be me in 7th grade
>accidently break open pen near end of class
>get ink all over desk
>grab a nearby paperclip and unfold it
>start writing with the paperclip like a homeless man's quill
>get the idea to offer other students "tattoos" for free

Fast forward to lunchtime.

>sitting around in restroom wait for people
>two kids come in and want "tattoos" so I get ready to smear ink all over their arms
>one kid asks for a shark and the other wants a fire
>slowly etch a bad rendition of a shark into some poor kid's arm
>blood starts coming out
>he doesn't say anything so I keep going out of fear
>finish and the second guy briskly takes his place with a "ME NEXT" look on his face
>do the same thing, but with more questioning my life choices
>after finishing the second one they both hand me one dollar bills...
>they tell some friends about this and return with more people
>don't want to get my shit kicked in, so I continue to eviscerate people's arms and legs
>after a while the paperclip is so covered in blood and ink that it needs washing
>clean it in sink and head over to shitty blow dryers that just warm your hands
>begin "drying" the metal clip
>get the idea to press it against the underside to suck the water up rather than blow it off
>stick metal rod into the dryer's ventilation
>the lights in the restroom flicker
>underside of blow dryer looks like a fucking firework in the night sky
>lights come back on
>small fire inside the blow dryer
>everyone scatters
>many people are questioned by school security
>no one ever finds out what happened
>MFW I got paid to give free "tattoos" in the school bathroom before starting a fire

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>>727138637

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>be me at 12 o 13
>Good cartoonist since 8 years old
>horny preeteen
>start to draw femenine figures at first
>in school started to draw naked girls
>after that, started to draw brutality in sex, zoophilia, necro, classmates fucking girls etc
>one day i draw a drawing that came out hitler fucking anne frank and a pair of lolis sucking big dicks
>go to home with draw
>sleep, tomorrow school
>in the morning dad found my draw
>red face
>nervous as ahit
>he calls my mom, mom looked at me and didn`t say anything, after that mom`s started to cry
>dad tells me
>This is how you waste your talent?
>mute
>mom didn`t talked to me in days
>dad too
> i never forget that
>Weighs every day of my life
fuck

>>727128890
>be me
>like 7 or 8
>don't really know shit about sex
>have female cousin
>at least 13
>bitch you were old enough to know better
>would play sex style games
>basically just a lot of clothes on dry humping
>didn't really get anything out of it, was just a game for me
>dont know what she got out of it
>tfw she wasn't even attractive
>tfw she grew up to be ugly and obese
>tfw she grew up to be literally the most hated member of family because she's such a colossal fuck up
>tfw I humped that whale
I had a hot cousin, I wish she wanted to play games.
Fuck

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>>727137753
in america we call them corn dogs. pogo is a brand of corn dogs... in america...

So this happened 6 years ago.
>senior year of high school
>at a friend's graduation party
>walk away from my group to get a drink
>intercepted by cute 7/10 grill
>not a stacy, but reasonably attractive
>haven't really talked to her since since middle school
>lets call her Sarah
>"Hey Anon! You know Chris?" (the host)
>"Yeah, we were both on the swim team."
>"That explains why you're in such great shape."
>"Nah this is nothing special, I'm one of the slower guys on the team"
>"You know, Anon, I had a huge crush on you back in middle school."
>"Uh, t-t-thanks, me too"
>"Hmm? What was that?"
>"It was nice talking to you."
>turn around, and walk away

And that was the last time a girl hit on me.

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>>727139394

>>727139981
o

feelsbad

>>727137958
>art

>>727140052
You cuck lord

>>727137975
hot
any pics?

>>727140510
Posted one back there

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> be me
> 5-7
> didn't know about sex
> was a sonic furfag
> google Rouge the Bat
> see futa porn
> alone in room
> pussy starts to feel weird
> think it's a infection
> can't stop looking
> would google with the same wording every night to find pic and study it
> feelsgoodman.jpg
> never got caught
> still a futa loving furfag
> first time having boner was over sonic porn
> never forget

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>be me
>8 or 9 years old
>been going through puberty for at least a year at this point
>still don't understand it
>always horny, but don't know about jerking off
>have a thing about women using the bathroom
>think it's really hot for some reason
>go to local park early in the morning
>go into the women's restroom
>touch all the things in there
>sink, toilet paper holder, toilet seat, etc
>notice there's piss in the toilet
>someone forgot to flush
>imagine a hot blonde milf pissed and forgot to flush it
>decide it would be hot to dunk my head into the piss water and drink some
>do it
>sexually grossed out
>still not satisfied
>drop my pants and shit in the sink
>leave

I cringe because, looking back, it was probably some dude a child that forgot to flush.

>>727139218
cringe is a word everywhere you autistic child.

>>727139766
>can relate
one day I drew a girl in different positions being destroyed by a man clearly old enough to be her dad,
she looked 10
Mom found the drawing while cleaning room
let's kill ourselves together >>727140052

>>727132109
almost the same with me and my brother and his friends, i knew about sex but i thought girls could just magically get pregnant as well. like the others said we were young but still remember and cringe to this day. trying to be cool in front of the older kids

>>727140905
did she punished you?

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>>727140832
>pussy starts to feel weird
Post pussy, femanon.

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>>727129571
10/10 fucking sides are gone.

have a (you) and I screencapped

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>>727136586
Can confirm

>>727141186
Well no, she never even brought it up

it was laying on my desk, and every part of my room was cleaned EXCEPT for that area around my drawing which was in plain sight clear as the daylight
Honestly, i think she forgot

>larping Star Wars

I think that's it for me.

>>727140832
>727141200
>pussy starts to feel weird
> first time having boner
nigga wat

>>727141303
Holy fuck nice find

I put my hair straightner in my ass because an online bf told me to during phone sex when I was 15 and I would do anything to please a guy... When i pulled it out..it had shit on it. I wanted to kms. I threw it away wrapped in like 10 plastic bags.

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>>727129571
Kek, screencap this shit

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>>727129571
>Ho ho
>Ho ho
>Ho ho
>Ho ho
>Consume the flesh of the fallen
>Ho ho
>Ho ho
>Ho ho
>Ho ho
>Ho ho
>Consume the flesh of the fallen

Capped and keked, my sides holy shit.

>>727141362
>To this day, I still can not draw a girl without thinking about it

>>727141303
just saw the pilot

brb about to bleach my eyes and ears

humping the tv screen and my sister walking in

>>727138994
Adorable :')

>>727139456
Holy shit

That's prison level shit nicely done

>>727141637
hahahahahaa
im guessing it ended shortly after with him

>>727135980
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-VkRdj9opM

Is this yours?

>>727142039
Sadly, yes
I think the first episode is the cringiest, but I don't know if that makes it better or worse

Talking about masturbation with my little brother

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>>727141637
But would you put a sharpie in your ass to please this guy?

>>727141980
No... I didn't tell him. We were just sexing over the phone so I was like "oh yeah baby it's so hot" haha. Plus he was older than me so that made me even more embarassed.

>>727141810
hmmm,
to be hair Anne Frank was pretty attractive
and look on the bright side
at least now you can tell strangers about it

>>727142202

how do you go about explaining this to someone unaware of what it is ?

>>727142210
I think I did actually

>>727142248
well if that's the most embarrassing thing to happen to you than you're the most sane person here
unless, you got more stories?

>>727135359
lol wat

>>727134207

Complaining about porn on a thread that's mostly porn anyway

No matter what, you look like a fucking flaming faggot.

>>727142180
I've never seen someone so fucking pissed over the Gwen10 episode
that was some autistic shit homie

When I was maybe 5 or 6 i used to never wear pants around the house, underwear only. It was the tight whitey kind too. I'd always be in them around friends and would even walk around outside like that all casual. In other cases I would sometimes unknowingly back then touch myself in front of my friends. Ohh what good times

>>727142455
fags will be fags
also, check em'

>>727142492
thanks anon, that brings me genuine happiness for whatever reason

>>727141419
> not knowing about female "boners"
Kek'd
>>727141200
Not a gonna camwhore, I'm in too bad of shape. fat femanons are the worst [spoiler]plus im not of age yet[/spoiler]

>>727129571
This reminds me of a similar story that my friend bisco told me, he was pretty gay.

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>>727142436
Oh yeah I've done worse/more embarassing stuff in my young adult years, but as a kid not really anything noteable. I mean. When I had crushes on guys I would pass them love notes and shit hoping they would write back or ~notice me~ ha

>>727142039
>>727135980
>>727135936

HAHAHAHAHA OH MY FUCK WHAT THE FUCK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>727142793
does that mean you liked it?

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>>727142617
Fat femanon solidarity

>parents never talked about sex or fapping
>learn about it around 7
>start rubbing myself on random objects
>do it in front of others at times
>parents are christian
>think im a bad person for touching myself
>cry to parents about how horrible i am
>they finally have 'the talk'
>tell me to just do it in private

don't know if they were too awkward to call me out before or i was smooth. cringe to this day though

>>727142733
care to share some of those stories just for the lulz?
haha, well that's one way to get a guy to notice you
also, nice dubs

>>727142964
Yeah swet dubs thanks for checkin em

Im with a guy right now that I would literally do anything for so I'm glad hes not crazier. But I will cut myself for him, drink my own piss, clean his asshole with my tongue (after he wipes), let him spit into my mouth or even spit food or drink into my mouth. I know its pretty vanilla but its exciting for me. We plan to do more.

>be me, 14
>hangin with da good friend and his other friend who i didnt know
>other friend gets a snapchat froma girl
>"eww i hate this bitch"
>decide to try to impress him by being edgy
>"lol give me her number and i'll text her some creepy shit, she'll grt totally freaked out it'll be hilarious"
>proceed to send her a bunch of weird ass creepy shit while pretending to be some guy from her school
>say im gonna fuck her with my "2 inch punisher"
>we all (except the girl i assume)?have a good chuckle
>i go home, all is well for about 2 weeks
Cont?

>>727133684
WHOA BLACK BETTY, BAMB-A-LAM

>>727143228
snapchat was around when you were 14? Anon ur too young.

>>727143215
damn gurl, sounds like you're more adventurous than he is
what's the limit for you? What do you consider to be "crossing the line"?

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>>727128890
>be me
>3rd grade
>get free history magazine from after school retard tutor
>write autistic perve shit inside next to naked women
>draw dicks on all male picrures
>look in desk one morning
>ohfuck.jpg
>teacher confronts me
>i try to bribe her with $3 in pocket change
>teacher tells my mother
>my mother thinks its halraious and tells all her friends at work
>they all called me picasso and told me i was dirty
>mfw

>>727143385
Not him, but Snpachat was released in 2011, so even I would have been 13 at the time. (19 now)

>>727142873
> feed me and tell me I'm pretty
More like help me vomit and buy my panties because I am desperate garbage and need money to buy alien dildos

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>>727143232
FUCKER BEAT ME TO IT

>>727143228
lurking, post more

>>727143602
holy shit, its been around that long?

>>727141895
Thank you, although it was mainly me panicking.

>>727143228
Gofurit

>>727143554
Well, being his sub, I tend to get the dirty work thats kinda the deal. Funny to say this after my embarassing story but I draw my line at shit. Nothing with kids or animals either. Public stuff okay if its where nobody will be traumatized, and i dont want any broken bones. Im kind of obsessed with him, i would let him carve his name into my flesh if he wanted it. And he probably would, knowing him.

Love makes you do crazy shit.

>>727143719
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snapchat

>>727143626
I mean that doesn't have as great of a ring to it, but sure that works too

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>>727143228

If you have to ask cont? you don't belong on /b/

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>>727142869

I Favorited it so yes

>>727143228
I'd like the rest, ye

>>727143566
Hahahaha

Bribing her with actual money. So good.

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>>727144051
>>727143790
>>727143716

Then these newfags actually respond.

>>727143830
>clearly
that all seems tame and normal compared to what's posted on here and what i've heard in real ife
I know this dom/sub couple that worked well together, and they HATED that 50 shades of grey movie, told me it was mocking their relationship
just wondering if you feel the same about that movie/trash

Flashed my dick to a classmate because she pressured me into doing it.

>>727136211
>>727136490
You're fucking retarded

>>727132784

I feel your pain anon, I did this 3 nights ago. Said persons mom had died last year of cancer.
>still had a kek after with other friends about it

>be 15 year old me
>be in english class
>sex is just now becoming a thing in my age group
>be doing work at desk
>popular girl sitting in front of me
>teacher leaves class room
>girl flings her hair all over my desk
>cmon anon play with my hair
>never had female attention before
>what do.jpg
>cmon anon i like to have my hair played with....you can even pull it if you want, i like it
>error error
>everyone is looking at me now
>uhhhh i have to go to the bathroom
>leave class room and wait for teacher then act like im heading back
>crises averted

>5yo
>class p.e, indoors
>mixed sex group
>rounders
>waiting in line to bat
>really need to pee
>think I can put it off
>I come up to bat
>stood with everyone looking
>piss trickles down leg
>everyone notices
> *chorus of ewww*
>I mumble out 'I really wanted to go toilet'

I've got loads of situs that even run into late teens

>>727143228
>chillin in my room
>both parents walk in, completely quiet
>"anon, do you know this person (the girl)?"
>oh fuck
>try to act casual but its obviously a lost cause
>turns out her parents are old friends of my parents
>her dad simply reverse searhed the number i texted her from
>my dumb ass didnt even think about that
>parents make me read the conversation out loud to them, even though theyve both read it
>begin crying halfway thru, parents make me keep reading
>afterwards, parents call me a sick little troll, say they might make me see a psychiatrist
>mom walks into her room and i hear her sobbing
>eventually had to meet with the girls parents and formally apologize
>parents never looked at me the same again

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>>727144345

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>>727144345
Watch who you call newfag, newfag

>>727144498
>be 15 year old me
>ex is just now becoming a thing in my age group

Did you have some problems with your development? Usually male kids started getting interested in sex at the age of 11-12.

>>727144926
This was about 10 years ago in a small hyper christian town.

>grade 4 winter
>stay up at night watching nazi documentaries
>thought it was cool as fuck
>go to school next day
>had 2 best friends, we all sat at the back
>we'd pull pranks on people, fuck shit up , end up in principals office every other day.
>tell them about cool as fuck 3rd reich
>draw swastikas everywhere
>oh btw half the school is super jewish
>tis winter so people are building snowforts
>us 3 start rolling huge snowballs, eventually more and more kids join us because lemmngs
>what started as 1 huge snow fort becomes 2 , rival kids build forts
>kids bringing water and rocks to stockpile
>our HQ is literally all ice with rocks inside the walls
>ice snowballs with rocks inside
cont. ?

>>727145344
Not great so far but yeh

>>727145344
cont

>>727145344
cont also checked

>>727142039
Go to comments

> don't worry, episode 2 is about to release! -Ben10UltimateFan 1month ago

Underage b&

>>727136586
>>727145875

>>727145344
>the first battle begins at first recess
>primary attacks by the jewish kids end in defeat, many dropped kippas on the snow
>we annex their fort and I stand on top of it and shout " HEIL HITLER" as a victory cry
>it picks up
>eventually have entire school yard shouting HEIL HITLER
>jewish kids uneasy
>go home
>get call
>parents meet with teachers tomorrow after school
>didnothingwrong.jpg
>next day goto school
>2 forts left , chinese kids and nigs
>draw battle plans in class and pass notes
>computer lab time so i google hitler
>recess, so i draw that mustache because it makes the jew scared for some reason
>alas the final carnage is about to happen
>chinks ally with nigs and the remaining jews
>there I stand with a fake hitler mustache chanting HEIL HITLER
>first time using ice ball wunderwaffen
>extremly effective
>blood everythwere
>rush forts
>break them apart
>victory is ours
>group of 30 elemtary childern shouting heil hitler
>go to class
>parents there, police is there, principle is there and a big group of jewish parents
>and there I am with a fake hitler moustache
cont?

>>727146225
>principal is a jew
>accusses me of organizing a kabal of antisemites to draw swastikas everywhere
>all the desks covered in swastikas
>kids shouting heil hitler at recess
>bloodied up nigs, chinks and kikes
>shes practically shouting at me
>jewish parents shouting at my parents
>stilldidnothingwrong.jpg

ended up getting suspended for a week and had to do sensitivity training
internet got cut and the school had a rabbi speak about how horrible the holocaust was.
nicknamed "dolf" by friends until end of highschool

>>727143215
You sound like an absolutely insane disgusting whore holy fuck

>>727136490
Fucking kek

>>727141303
LMFAO THIS IS NOW A MEME

>>727129306
is your jacob and do you live in ny?

had a buddy just like that

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>>727142700
YO ITS BISCO, YOU TALKIN SHIT?

>>727147223
I'd be ok with that tbh

>>727129571
Reminds me of how me and my friends went to Disney world and would yell things like "I FUCKING HATE NIGGERS" and other obscene words in mickeys voice from the people mover everytime we would get on it

>>727137958
I literally kek'd, thanks Anon.

>>727131653
That show was fucking great man. Far from cringe

>>727147482
LOL savage.

>>727136471
kid's fault for having a gay nickname

>>727146604
>>727146225
>>727145344
what a shitty fake story

>>727147625
idk, love the show but they had a few well placed cringey parts.

like doctor barbers jelly sandwiches...

>>727148659
That was probably the intent though, ya know.

>>727137755
Please find them and post them!!!

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>>727128890

>>727149176
>had a few well placed cringey parts

yeah i do know, thanks for concurring

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>>727132885
That might be a lowkey happy ending anon. They might never have looked into her home life if she wasn't falsely accused of those drawings.
You might've saved them.

>>727149354
Yeah, but I was just saying that just because it had cringey parts didn't make the show as a whole cringey

>>727149491
i didn't say it was all cringey just parts of it

i think you wanna talk to this anon>>727131653

>>727149643
I figured that was you, sorry bub. We need ID's back

>>727143215
I hate to admit it, this turned me on. Real fucked in the head. That isn't love btw, you're obsessed.

>>727149773
no problem anon, absolutely adore that show though, wish they made more

>>727129571
Shit that never happened

>>727129306
kek I grew up witth Sonic, meaning i was around 14 or so when it first came out, but nobody did that shit
Im trying to think of other cringey shit we did
Ninja turtles were big too

>>727132285

There is an older cartoon version of My Little Pony from the 90s. The MLP cartoon people see now is actually a remake

Just google original my little pony cartoon

>>727149920
it's possible, just improbable AF

when i was a junior the seniors hung a black scarecrow in the foyer for their senior prank, we had an urban/suburban program too so shit went down

Most of these are when I was 11-12
>be 11 horny as hell
>there was a community bible study for kids
>never sat next to the kids
>sat in such I way is I could see up girls skirts

>>727150138
>used to climb on to the roof because you could look into my aunt's bathroom.
>would spy on cousins and aunt.
>cousin's were younger than me.
>then I'd jack off on the roof

>>727133003
>be me around 10 years old
>invite my friend over to my house to play legos
>fuckyeah.psd
>i invited other friends over too
>one of my friends tells a yo momma joke he probably heard from a cartoon
>we are all silent
>i tell my friend my mother passed away 2 weeks ago
>i hope he kills himself
>never forgive him

>>727149876
Courage the cowardly dog was my favorite show growing up because it really reflected my life as being raised by my grandparents

>>727150406
yo momma....

>mattress had a hole
>tried fucking it
>it hurt so I stopped

>didn't know how to jack off
>used to press hard on mattress with my boner or habd
>male cousin showed me how...
>did bit of oral too
>Stopped and never talked about it

>>727150480
also an excellent show, i still dream about the slab, and that purple fetus

>>727150125
My senior class was a bunch of pussies. All they did was take all the chairs out of all the rooms and put them in the lunch room. That and tape up all the doors. I heard that the senior class before I was a freshman made giant stink bombs that had school cancelled for almost a whole week and the class my freshman year spray painted all the walls with grafitti. Generations are getting weaker and weaker and losing their sense of humor it seems

>be 11
>cousins sleeping next room
>sneak over and try to molest her
>too pussy to wake her
>play with her feet instead
>kiss her feet while I jack off and cum
>sneak away

>>727150790
my buddy lived on a pig farm, so i asked his dad if i could borrow four piglets.

>uuuhh why anon
>i wanna grease them up and number them 1,2,3 and 5,and release them in the school
>why skip 4
>wanna see how long they'll search for #4

i was an asshole in highschool, literally spent all my time mouthing off to the teachers so i could read in detention, had to get an education somehow

>>727136211

Youre a cunt and im glad they called child services on you. Fucking retard. I had a dog when i was 7 and still understood she was a delicate creature that needed respect. She lived to be 16.

Fucking white people, i swear.

>>727151133
You did NOT do that.

>sees meme on net weeks ago and posts it
>summerfags are coming

>>727151133
So original. Never seen this before

All of it?

>>727151133
Did it take a crane?

>>727151565
two

>>727128890

>be 7
>Bro (12) tells me to stick my face into our sisters cleveage
>Have no idea
>Do it
>Sister disgusted at first
>Cock gets hard as diamonds for some reason
>Sister sees the monster growing in my pants
>She can't resist the temptation
>Undo my pants
>She lashes out at my crotch
>starts sucking my pepe
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>start facefucking her like there is no tomorrow
>feral instincts take over me
>no idea what I am doing
>she lies me down on bed
>shoves her pussy in my face
>lick it clean
>proceeds to fuck me
>there's no turning back now
>fuck her hard
>come so hard semen bursts out of her pussy
>impregnate the bitch
>Brother jacking off in the corner of the room

Never talked to either of them ever since.

I once spit milk onto some girls sitting in front of me at lunch (I guess it went down the wrong way or something) and nervously tried to accuse my friend behind me of tickling me. Probably the worst one I have.

>>727151634
One to get the other crane out. I see.

>>727151652
>7yo
>yuge pepe
k dude

>>727151740
of course how the hell else would you do it?

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>>727149462
I have thought that before but I'm no asshole... What I did was wrong. It would be ludicrous for me to take credit for that.

I think the story was he went too far with the son, the son freaked out and he told someone.

Anyway, seeing how easy it was to fool authority made me cynical at a young age...how easy would it be hot someone to do the same thing to me!?

Good bread btw

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>>727151652
Man you're a badass!!

Fuckin beast Brahhh!

>>727132885
Pervert life 4ever

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>>727128890
>be me
>be 9-10
>be at vegas
>walk looking down all the time because i'm just used to it
>on strip
>walking looking downward
>see prostitute picture on floor
>kind stare at floor waiting for something
>One of my family members sees me and says "anon! What are you looking at?"
>mfw

>>727133809
Ugh she kinda looks like the fat lady on The Cleveland Show.

>>727152126
I also unironically liked Linken Park and Bring Me Back to Life. Back in 3rd grade had wet sonic dreams (didn't know i was a furfag till later on. Shit fucked me up) i also made an edgy school shooting joke and got suspended for the day. And now because of my cringy ass past i can't fall asleep without remembering something fucking stupid i did a while back.
I really wish i could take it all back.
Hopefully i can An Hero soon once i get the funds

>>727149773
id's are for cucks

>>727128890

>be 7 year old me
>supposedly had a friend named john who I had known for 3 weeks (met him outside my house)
>always met me at our secret hideout
>school was nearby so our hideout was in the trees on the other side of the oval
>john comes to my house for the first time
>parents aren't home and we played Mario Kart on the 64
>an hour passes
>we get up and go to the kitchen
>he starts looking through my mom's kitchen knives
>we pretend they're swords and start swinging them around
>we go outside to the backyard to try and throw them around (retarded)
>john sees my dog and decides it'd be funny if he stabbed it
>john stabs my dog, and it pretty much screeches in pain
>I scream at john asking him why he did that
>mom car pulls up to the drive way, gets out and she hears the dog in pain
>calls my name and goes to the sound of the dog
>john is sort of sitting there doing nothing
>mom comes in
>"anon what happened?"
>sees me holding knife with blood on it
>"what did you do?"
>I tell her john did it, look over to john
>johnisntthere.jpg
>I get sent to therapy sessions w/ mom
>was john imaginary?

>>727151136
le white people XDDDD
niggers and chinks are by far the most violent, emotionless and unintelligent

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>be me
>4th grade
>walk home from school like usual
>mom gave me house key so I can let myself in after school
>fuck
>realize I forgot my key when I left for school this morning
>no phone because I'm a 4th grader
>neighbors not home either
>suddenly my bowels rumble
>Oh no
>lunch decided it wanted out
>Can't get inside to the toilet, so I improvise
>hide behind massive bush in my front yard and take a shit behind it
> eventually mom comes home, but I didn't tell her about the incident
>couple months later the bush dies
>a massive strawberry patch is growing where I shat behind the bush
>mfw I realize I had strawberries for lunch that day

>>727132524
I also have a severe reaction to bee stings my body would really get swollen.
A bee stung me in between the fingers of my left hand 3 days before I graduated from school
my hand looked like Shrek's
By the graduation ceremony we had to do a dance in front of all our families while dressed like characters from the movie grease
MFW I had to do that stupid dance while it looked like I was starting to turn into the Michelin man.

>>727153645
works with deer

>>727128890
>Be me
>4th grade
>hottest girl in the school sits next to me
>"I really like your art anon"
>"Thanks, I just draw what I see"
>she lingers presumably for a kiss
>I autistically frustratingly fail at drawing the courage to ask
>Last chance of being kissed in primary walks off

>>727150082
He's talking about the pony.mov youtube videos, now get out of here you under aged fuck.

>>727132044
John, that you????

>>727132044
>when I was in grade three my friend showed me the pony.mov series.
underage ban

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One time my friend and I dared his little sister to poop on a steam pipe. I was super sexually aroused even though nothing remotely good cake of it.

We told her we were gonna get her a new kids on the block doll. We were all little but we also knew it was wrong.

The steam pipe cooked the poop...

>>727151652
how old was your sister at the time

>be me 7th grade
>8/10 classmate had a 'memory-notebook' in which she wrote questions and gave it to our classmates
>gives it to me
>last page:Draw what you'd like to make for me
>draw a fucking baby trying to be edgy
>mfw her parents read the notebook
>mfw no one laughed
>never talked to her again

>>727143215
You're disgusting. Kill yourself you walking septic tank.

>>727129647
A nice view for the teacher.

>be me in 5th grade
>everyone is obssessed withYu-Gi-Oh cards, I mean every single kid in the grade
>Me and like 15 other kids decided to make our own cards and game like Yu-Gi-Oh
>They all make ridiculously OP cards, so the matches are over within a few turns
>I go to great lengths to make really amazing looking cards, laminated and everything
>This lasts a week or two, then we all said fuck it and went back to playing basketball

>>727132784
You poor bastard.

>>727143830
>Love makes you do crazy shit.
Well yeah if you're already crazy, and from the sound of it you have no limits, you would do some freaky shit with kids and animals to please him.
You're not fooling anyone.

>>727137975
Tell me more about how you and your cousin were punished.

>>727139394
That sucks. Reminds me of when I went to my uncles farm.

>be me, 6 years old
>parents let me play in the chick hut (like a big, wooden shed just for baby chickens) while they go talk to uncle
>having a good time with a room full of chicks
>take a step backwards in my big, heavy boots
>feel cruching
>look at the bottom of boot...
>I crushed a chick into a little ball of fluff and gore
>I left and never went back into that shed

I felt so terrible.

In 5th grade our teacher was also temporarily the principle, as the last one had died.
So often our teacher would leave us alone to do assignments.
One day everyone stopped caring. The boys had their dicks out, jacking off in front of the girls faces. Another girl, she was petite and tiny, sat on the teachers desk spread eagle showing us slit through her panties.
The principle was soon replaced. This never happened again.

>>727137753
>use the oven
It burns the stick and the wiener stays cold you stupid retarded inbred Euro nigger

>>727144667
expected more. You could at least tell us some of the creepy things you wrote to her

>>727143884
I said I draw the line at kids and animals, learn to read idiot

>>727144811
Newfag

>>727157905
Learn to reply properly.
I said you're not fooling anyone, implying that I read it, but don't believe it. This guy got you hooked on him you sick fuck.
If he said fuck this dog or I'm out, you'll fuck the dog. Don't lie, because you're not good at it.

>>727142180
people like you are why i stopped coming here

>>727149844
>>727143554
>>727142964
Can you retarded virgins not ruin the thread cause you've never talked to a female before?

>>727129306
you still sound like a flop

>>727130774
kek hard

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>Be me 5-6ish yo
>Not really sure of what sex is but knows that women have pussy because exposed to 'Carnaval' on TV
>Have a friend who lived with his family in front of my house (granpa included) always visited him
>He had a sister about 18-19 then
>Every time she come back of school or some shit I asked my friend to go and tell her she was hot
>He always did
>Always ran back to my house before he could finish telling her
>imfastasfuckboyyy.svg
•Many times passed
>Still doing that shit, this time se tries to chase me sometimes
>One day, when I've finished my civil duty to inform her of her hotness throught her little brother my parents call me
>My buzz lighteryear space ranger with his utility belt arrived
>Mild erection while going back home
>Got home, started unpacking my brand new buzz lighteryear
>Started to hear someone screaming my name in the street
>mdw was his sister fucking shouting that I was making her brother say nasty things and wanted me to get out of my house
>lolno i gotta investigate this new planet
>Time goes by, I didn't keep doing that as often after that.
Now days I don't remember her face at all, but I think she was a 7 with pimples/10
And if you're asking yourself, no, my parents dindunuffin about it
>feltgoodman

>>727150406
Classic counter to any stupid yo mamma joke.

>>727137392

That's based as fuck tbh fam

>Be 11
>New classmate from Vietnam
>Me and friends are messing with him
>Tell him to pull the fire alarm
>Dumbass actually does it
>Oshit.gif
>Firemen show up
>Whole class interrogated
>Tell them and the teacher we don't know anything
>New kid's mom has to pay a fine

Feelsbadman