ITT: We work in an office.

Hey... getting a fantasy baseball league together. Thought it might be a fun way to break up the day. If you're interested, find me in my cube.

>>727052213
Hey anon damn copier is bust again I'm going to the third floor to use theirs Brb

>>727052213
i spilled juice over my keyboard...

What cunt ate my sandwiches? Had my name 'anonymous' on them and everything ffs

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>Hey guys look out your windows

>>727052779
George from accounts being a bad boy again.

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>>727052213
mfw i realize there are actually people working in an environment like this one

>>727052696
Think it's that Jew guy in accounts anon

>"Hey Boss, Its Anon. I'm gonna be a little late today. My dogs mom has a flat tire."

>>727052904
Thanks anon I'm gonna proper fuck him up when I see him

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>>727052895
>Prepare your self I hear him coming
Shit he's here ,ready guys

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Hey Bob, I'm going to go talk to the manager about this. Found it in my files.

Hey did you guys hear the one about the three niggers and the jew?

>>727053020
>I need a fucking raise they don't pay me enough for this shit

Right, let's have him!

>>727053097
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

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>>727053141
>fuck Clive you did quite a job there call Miguel to clean this shit up
I Shure hope it's all over now

>>727053300
>just another Monday in the office. Gonna rape his dead body. Just for the lulz

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Anon, when you got a minute I would like you to talk to you. In private.

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>>727053300
>Miguel is sick and a replacement was sent.

Ay, no pinches mames (in spanish)

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>>727053468
Give me 20 minutes anon? I'm just gonna grab some lunch off that Asian chick in catering.

>>727053571
Good cut her pay and demand she will be called Miguel from now on
There's also a dead Girl in my office with cum in her have her shoot her corpse with the faggots gun and clean out her pussy

>>727052546
GUYS LOOK THE FAGGOT IS ASKING FOR FRIENDS AGAIN

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WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS TOOK THE LAST BAG OF TOPKEKS FROM THE BREAKROOM I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I'LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING NECK

>>727052213
my farts smell like rainbows

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>>727053839
I clean now

>Annoying mexican music (in spanish) from a mini radio (in spanish) to clean (in spanish)

>>727053990
you're lucky we're employing your illegal ass and not reporting it to ICE fucking spic

GUYS THE COPY MACHINE WORKS ON DICKS N STUFF TOO
I PHOTOCOPIED MY BALLS

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>>727052640
>>727052683
Morning Bob look at this doge pic I threw together for ya. Pretty fuckin hilarious if you ask me but Susan down the way HATES them.

i dONT REMEMBER WHAT DEPARTMENT I WORK IN

GUYS I BROUGHT DONUTS

eat them all
if you dont you wont get enough of the drug in your system

By the way guys it's Lynn's birthday next week if anyone wants to put in for a card?

I'm not getting her a present because she wouldn't suck me off in the elevator Friday evening

Does anybody have the papers i requested last friday?

>>727054394
Do you even work in this building?

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>>727054140

No, no.

>Stuck on phone 10 mins trying to get more lemon pledge from the supplies dpt.

>>727054602
Ah anon you crack me up. These dunkins? Always liked krispy cream better myself. Them ones with the filling? Mm boy. Tell you what. Ah fuck my wife is paging me lemme go see what this is about taker 'er easy man. Thanks the donuts!

>>727052626
H I'm John from IT.

All we have is this shitty keyboard as a replacement for the one you just fucked up.

>It's missing one enter key and the F1 doesn't work at all.

>But I will let you figure that out on your own.

Enjoy your new keyboard.

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Yo, I'm here to deliver dis package. Can you direct me to Mrs. Smiths office?

>>727053990
>Look have it fucking done and the president is due to call round for a televised announcement about the attack in less than 1 hour

>>727053118
no, they all got gassed ))

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>>727054831
Sure thing she is right there.

She's been waiting for you.

>>727054831
The fuck let the homeless guy in here again. Tell john to get ahold of security this shit is getting old.

Hey guys, new guy here.

>>727055001
She's a right guttermouth that one

>>727055007
U mad again whit boii?

>>727055076
Alright tom I'll give you the run down on the place its pretty simple. Here's your desk here in the corner. We got you filing papers today but that's only temporary. I'll have to run around and find the big man to see what you're actually gonna be doing. You didn't hear it from me but they're a little inefficient around here. HAHAHA alrighty be right back tom

>>727055007
I contacted security.

By the way the server is going down in 15 minutes.

>We need the bandwidth to stream the Lego Batman movie.

It should be back up in a couple of hours.

>>727055134
Sir I need you to leave or show me some ID we can't have you in here half shirtless

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>>727055276
They never informed me of that policy change?

Can I button up my shirt now too?

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H-hey anon I was just wondering ...what are you up to later? I mean, after work...

>>727054736
im not sure

>>727054678
MY NAME IS GWEN YOU RETARD

>>727054681
Shove them up your dick.

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>>727052213

>>727055444
Shoveling gravel into my gaping mouth.

>>727055370
Well.. I- uh.. Well let me talk to the boss man about that lauren. I just - I think as long as you have ID you'll be OK. I'll get back to you! Hnnng

Um, this is John from IT again. We've had a serious hardware failure on the server. We are expecting it to be back online after lunch.

>Thanks for trying to download that porn version Mark. Shit guys how do we get rid of this virus.

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>>727055549
What the... A-Anyway, i have two tickets for this really cool movie, want to come?

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This is John from IT again.

The server is back up but we had to reload from a backup that was a week old.

Also the server might be running a little slow since we have to take 387 windows server updates.

>>727055799
No. Join me.

>>727055761
John buddy I don't know what to do I got my damn files on this computer and now the damn clicker won't move can you help me out?

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>>727055799
Quit sexually harassing me Terry! I have a boyfried!

>pic related

>>727055220
WHAT WAS THAT JERRY

>>727055990
You suck at your job nerd

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>>727056113
Beavis, from IT here too.

I understand your frustration, heh, heheh heh.

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>>727056113
Fuck you Chad.

>Mark deny all access to Chad's work folders and blame it on Haji outsourcing.

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>>727056081
I-I'm not, I uh..i'm just... Cause i thought you would.. I thought you would like it, that's all...

GUYS I STAPLED MY PENIS TO MY LEG
HELP

>>727056311
why on earth would you do such a thing in the first place?

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>>727056311
Did you use the right stapler?

>>727056101
I SAID THEY'RE A LITTLE INNEFFICIENT AROUND HERE TOM BUT YOU DIDNT HEAR IT FROM ME

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>>727056311

P.R cat haz question:

Dood, why you did it if we sent a memo last week about "don't staple it on a log", did you even readed it?

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>>727056311

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Hello Chad this is Thom. You have problem with files?

can everybody just.. SHUT THE FUUCK UP!

>>727053604
wow

>>727056416
JERRY YOU FUCKING FUCK

Upboat for Tron

>>727056367
I WANTED TO SEE WHAT IT DID
IT HURT
>>727056401
I USED THE GREEN ONE
>>727056478
BECAUSE FUCK YOU THATS WHY
>>727056496
THATS MY PURSE I DONT KNOW YOU

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BRENT FROM ACCOUNTS IS ON THE ROOF AND SAID HE'S GONNA KILL HIMSELF

>>727056575

Dood, we're trying to work here, send your request by mail and i'll answer later.

>>727056686
Oh, ok, then i'll talk with Human Resources cat, say goodbye to your vacations

>>727056729
Tell him to do it
And send pics i want to see that shit

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>>727056729
Cool, $20 on him doing it

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WHO THE FUCK DREW A DICK ON THIS WALL!

>>727056729
TAPE IT
TELL HIM TO CURL INTO A BALL SO HE FALLS FASTER

>>727057075
Probably harvey.
Fucking bastard drew a pear of tits on my table.

>>727057139
ehehehehe

>>727057075
Hey anon
How about you and i go on a 'recon mission' in bossman's office and check out the CCTV?
Don't tell him it'll make it more interesting

>>727057075
Tom! You fucking retard, that's the new company logo.

Hey I'm just asking for my friend that just started, buuut are there going to be any more drug tests? Or was that first one the only one I had to worry about?

>>727057139
You too? Man, how is he still here?
The fucking boss wont do anything about it.

>>727056311
Oh SteveO not again

>>727057223
Shhh keep it down man. They're listening.

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>>727057215
I like the new logo, by the way, who took all the colombian coffee from the kitchen!?

>>727057264
I DONT THINK ITS GONNA MAKE IT THIS TIME

Gggguys why are they installing nets around the building?

>>727057172
Sure.
>>727057215
BUT THEN WHY IS IT ONLY ON MY WALL!
>>727057139
Fuckin harvey

>>727057272
Fuck man my bad you smoke? All these guys seem really straight edge. I'm just looking for a lil something to take the edge off you feel me?

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>>727057129
>>727056937
>>727056827

HOOO BOI HE BOUT TO DO IT, HE GON DO IT

>>727057378
DON'T FORGET THE PICS

PUT HIS BODY IN THE LOUNGE

>>727057242
I don't fucking know.
>The fucking boss wont do anything about it.
Probably because harvey is the son of the boss.

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>>727057378
DO IT YOU S.O.B! I GOT $20 ON THIS!

>Shouting with a megaphone

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Hey look what I found in the VP's office.

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Hey guys, I like a few of you but really hate the rest. Don't come into work tomorrow.

>>727057364
It's only on your wall because there's only one at the moment, other will be delivered shortly. also the window lighting makes it look good in your wall

Hey guys, it's Shekel McGoldstein, your nasally prominent boss. I'm sending in a guy with a hidden weapon in a few minutes, I need to make some pay cuts, you know how it is. Tell John from IT to look out the window at the new hooters we installed next door. Remember to tell the new maid to clean up the mess afterwards.

>>727057571
Wtf bob thats mine! What is it doing in here?

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>>727057378
He FUCKING did it!

>>727057585
Thanks john i will keep it in mind

Allright.. WHO FARTED?

Hello everyone.
As you all know, Mr. McGoldstein is sending up a person, make sure to make them feel welcome.

Brad Higgins
CEO

>>727057666
SUCK MY BALLS SATAN

>>727057642
FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIREEEEEE THE OFFICE IS ON FIRE AGAIN!!

>>727057585
But we don't even work here.
We just mess around

>>727057666
I'm sorry devil. it was me

>>727057642
Shit yes
I will put this on my wall
Hated that guy

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>>727057602
Sir the IT department is having a team building session at an undisclosed location with the VP.

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>>727057642
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOIII CALL THE MAFUCKIN COPS NIKKA THAT NIGGA DEAD BOI

>>727057666
Wow I am impressed that
I have you under my management


Brad Higgins
CEO

WHO TOOK A SHIT IN THE FUCKING VAULT

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>>727057642
Awesome, now i can go to the strippers tonight, and not to the cheap ones.

>P.R cat collects betting money

>>727052213
Hey anon, I'm really tired of these niggers around the office. When did they start allowing non whites into buildings?

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I'm the new temp, where is the sisgender bathroom located?

>>727057782
Is this at the 4th floor which doesn't technically exist in the books?

You know they have undocumented lolis there right? mixed in with the filipino ladyboys

>>727057333
Probably fumigating the places there's roaches all in the concrete outside

>>727057710
False alarm everybody! It was just Martha's fat ass burning another one of her toast

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>>727057585
Hey I found these in his cubicle, should I report this?

>>727057839

I'll take it from here.

We hire them to make us look "PC"
But reaally we just make them clean toilets

Brad Higgins
CEO

>>727057784
This is John from IT.
We will have your new computer ready for you in the hour sir.

>Mark grab that old HP laptop and give it to the new CEO. Make sure you wipe Jack's cum stains off the keyboard.

Hey, anon. I'm gonna need those TPS reports by the end of the day or your mother will die in her sleep, okay? Greeeeeeeeaaat.

>>727057942
>whispers
Hey mothefucker put that shit back I got stuff to do later and goddamn Bob Dylan looking ass wierdo ain't gonna ruin it

>>727057976
Good to know, John.
I'm giving you a 10% raise on your monthly salary.

Don't let McGoldstein hear about this or i'll
have to let him rim me.

Brad Higgins
CEO

>>727057976
I dont need to listen to you, my dad is the CEO

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UH... GUYS! SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BRENT IS DEAD AND ALL BUT... IS THAT A FUCKING PLANE COMING TOWARDS OUR BUILDING?

I am tired of the system of this office. I propose a revolution against brad and his horrible system. WHO WILL JOIN ME?

Guys that little fat pack of women are back outside autistically whooping about some shit.
Should I get the hose?

>>727058108
Allahu Akbar my brother

>>727057893
Pshewww. I though we were being taken over by foxconn for a minute.

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>>727057851
Every floor have one except floor 9, that's where the "i have mental illness" bathroom is, i tell you, don't go to that floor, and by the way, GET ME A MOKA!

>>727058047
But sir... My mother is already dead.

I wouldn't use the coffee machine if I where you guys...

>>727058101
Well crap then give him one our special machines preloaded with all the porn links.

Don't flake out on me now Mark. We are IT; we control the information.

>>727058183
Inter-office mail:


Anon's mom is dead.
We will be taking $2 off everyone's paycheck to help anon with the funeral costs.

Dan Smith
Payroll Division, Finance Sector

>>727058116
Sit down monica
You do this shit everyday
We are sick of it

Who is the 30 year old guy in a pink tutu and why is he begging for food? Does he work in IT?

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>>727057839
They didn't.
Don't worry we'll sort it out.

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Hey guys, just got some lunch at the new place down the street. Anyone want some

>>727058210
What the hell jim what's wrong with it now?

>>727052213
there better be separate bathrooms for niggers and white people. I'm not using the toilet after some dirty coon has set his monkey ass on it

>>727058266
Just let him be
My dad have problems

>>727058116
Monica.

You're one more outburst to being demoted to
executive fellattor.

but good job on yesterday's presentation.

Who knew a woman could actually do proper work?

Brad Higgins
CEO

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>>727057851
Right here

>>727058266
This is John, not in my department.
I think he works in software development.

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I've had about enough of this here

>>727058108
HAHA finally those fuckers on the top floor will get what they deserve

>>727058263
>>727058353
monica was fired yesterday. i'm her brother and her ideas of fairness in this office should be in place. also, nice haiku

>>727058380
Good thing I got that warning in the email.

>>727058358
Does it have a bidet?

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Sorry guys

>>727058380
Now now,

I can get behind the idea of an open carry office.
But the teletubbies suit.

I'm not sure I like it.

Brad Higgins
CEO

>>727058380
join the revolution brother

>>727058407
>Shit Mark when did the email start working again?

Guys I'm sorry, the toliet was clogged and I had to go really really badly. Please no one tell Jeff I went in his office

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>>727058441
Hey Mr CEO Sir,

Someone left a horse in the building, wat do?

Samuel

>>727058475
Oh the servers are up?! Thank god I almost had to use some of the data on this fancy phone I got the other day. Still kinda scares me

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>>727058380
We're in dude

>>727053913
Steal my Topekeks i snap your topneck

Doug from IT here.

Just a reminder that the servers will be down from 9 AM until 5 PM this Thursday for upgrades.

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>playing A Link to the Past on an emulator during my lunch break
>Glenn from IT reports me, saying I'm wasting company time
>walk past his office and see him playing WoW like it's fucking 2008 at 2 in the afternoon
>call him out on it
>"W-WELL IT DIFFERENT BECAUSE *I* PAID FOR MY GAME!"
Glenn, I know you're reading this, one of these days I'm going to find you in a security cam blindspot and I'm going to punch you in your fucking mouth.

>>727058539
Bring it to my office discretely.

There is a $1000 bill under the potted plant on my desk.

You know what to do.
Make sure to bring latex gloves.

Brad Higgins
CEO

>>727058391
Is that why you dress up as your sister?
Man i though you were monica all this time

>>727058539
oh that's the revolutionary hore that going to explode about right no
>horse explodes

>>727058607
Fuck Doug I have a presentation that day

>>727058391
For a man, you have monica's phat ass.


Brad Higgins
CEO

>>727057807
CAN YOU CLEAN YOUR OWN DAMN LITTER BOX
GODDAMN

HAS ANYONE SEEN MY DAUGHTER

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Ice cream ghost meeting in 30, be sure to bring plenty of T's to burn

>>727058672
there you are...VIVA LA REVOLUCION
>shoots brad higgins

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>>727058607
>Logistics coordinator
Nigga, i do all of my work off of my computer, the fuck am I supposed to do for 8 hours?

>>727058769
HER DICK IS HUGE

>>727058769
probably in the office bathroom, sobbing to herself as she wonders why chad doesn't love her

>>727058792
OH MY FUCKING GOD SOMEONE GET THE EMT ON THE PHONE THE CEO HAS BEEN SHOT

anon, im gonna need these reaction pepes sorted by friday...

>>727058654
And I need to make some updates to our security software and that trumps your Powerpoint presentation.

If you have a problem please talk to my assistant Glenn

>>727058851
nobody has to know.
>shoots the guy calling emt

>Who is playing today?
Berdych

>>>/sp/74911529

>>727058792
Dear all,

After some internal restructuring, I have been promoted to be your new CEO.

My first action is to employ Monica's amazing brother.

Best,
Dick Cocksmith
CEO

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HMR cat here:

We're opening spots for the "Get yo ass to the Bahamas" vacation program, leave the applications on my desk, thanks.

>>727058792
Inter-office Letter

Bradley Higgins has been injured in a firearm
related incident.

His penis was reportedly shot off.
As such, no Sausages in the pantry at this time

Bobby Weir
HR Officer

>>727058860
But sir
I have been working on these reaction images for months. I can not help you.

Does anyone here know where I can find more paper for the printer? Or has resourcing been lazy again and not bothered to order any?

>>727058868
How do work this hotspot thing then I'll use that? Glenn is downstairs or.. He always tells me I need a new phone do I?

>>727058941
I'm already employed
will you give us fairness in the office?

>>727052213
Yes, we work in an office. I sit, you sit. My computers has APIs, how is yours? This coffee is terrible! You're terrible! Ha ha ha! Lunch, stale. Meetings, consultants of all sorts, yay! When I go home my wife beats me because I've lost my masculinity.

>>727058769
I'd check with these guys >>727058572

>>727059014
Fairness is for the weak,

Best,
Dick Cocksmith
CEO

>>727058941
>>727058979
>>727059056

Mr. Cocksmith will do a fine job while
I get a new penis sewn on.

Til I get back, he is acting CEO.
He has the keys to the loli vault now.

Brad Higgins
CEO

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>>727058769
I think i saw her under Doug's desk.
>>727058607
Right Doug?
What does that poster in your office say? "If her age is on the clock she's old enough for the cock"?

>>727059056
THEN WHAT GOOD ARE YOU?
>shoots dick cocksmith

>>727058923
>Police burst in
GET DOWN YOU FUCKING NEGRO WE GE GOT A CALL FROM A HORSE IN THE OFFICE DROP YOUR WEAPON

>>727059082
Ay. keep that on the down low.

I was next in line for the snatch, ya dig?

Bobby Weir
HR Officer

>>727059135
ITS EITHER ME OR THIS OFFICE BUD

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>>727059080
Can you please advise on an ETA for your return? This is an urgent matter.

Doug from IT again

Just a heads up, all download speeds are being dialed back to 56 kbit/s starting Friday.

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let's beat that meat, make this a sexy fun office

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>>727059105
Due to the rise of violence, we had to hire a Security Officer.

We figured we hire someone with downs, so he should fit right in.

>>727059208
YOU HAVE NO SCAPE SURRENDER NOW OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE
>>727059225
NO GAY SHIT IN THE OFFICE OR WE WILL SHOOT YOU TOO

>>727059219
As you know,

I would need to source a new cock and have
it sewn on.

As such a suitable, white, virile cock must be found.

Give or take, 4 months.

Brad Higgins
CEO

PS. Who let the nigger on the computers?

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>>727059221
Perfect, i just go on vacations to Belize next week, so just do it

>>727059301
I guess you want this office to be dead
>shoots everyone on the floor

>>727059149
She's 11, Bobbo, aint that a little too old for you?

>>727054831
*shits on the floor while masterbating to gay toddler scat porn* I AM A CHICKEN HDHJSJSHDBHSINSJSKFJSKSJDFJSJSJ
┻┳I I'm ...
┳┻|
┻┳I
┳┻|
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
┻┳I ∧ Just gonna ...
┳┻| ･)
┻┳Io)
┳┻| J
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
┳┻| ∧ _∧ Put this...
┻┳I • ω • )
┳┻| o/b/o
┻┳I ―J’
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
┳┻|∧ _∧ Here...
┻┳I • ω •)
┳┻| つ つ
┻┳|ーJ' /b/
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
┳┻|∧
┻┳I •) And leave...
┳┻|o)
┻┳|J /b/

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>>727059301
HARD COCKS IN YOUR OFFICE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO, SHOOT M

>>727059369
Have fun

>>727059429
Bobby wier fuck her in the rear that's what I always say

>>727059429
The clock.
Her age is still on it.
Plus its been a slow day

Bobby Weir
HR Officer

>>727059335
I heard Dick Cocksmith doesn't need his penis any more, his corps is lying around on somewhere on the executive floor

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>>727055482
N-N-Need some help with that Lordvessel?

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Hey guys, as Bret's best friend I have started a fundraiser for his funeral, any amount will help

>>727059474
Bobby "Age is just a number here" Wier

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>>727059450
Thanks, i'll be sure to bring some souvenirs, of course if i can pack niggers inside the handbags

Doug from IT again

Starting Wednesday all web browsers on company computers will be disabled indefinitely. If you need to get a file you can go to the ftp site that Glenn will be setting up.

I do work in IT. But your sorry ass is at the office in a cubicle. I work form home every day. No commute. No getting dressed up. No bullshit.

>>727059511
I'll have Bobby "if she's old enough to crawl,
she's in the right position, dear" Weir to
take a look at it


Brad Higgins
CEO

>>727059511
Oh yeah I was up there fuckin around with glen the other day and we almost stepped right in that sludge pile

>I just ate a lunch from the refrigerator that didn't belong to me.

>>727059373
>THE RIOT SHIELDS STOPPED SOME BULLETS. THE BODIES OF THE SPECIAL FORCES STOPED THE REST
OPEN FIRE
>a storm of bullets rapes you
>>727059442
SHOOT THAT DICK DOWN
I REPEAT
SHOOT IT DOWN
>Bullets destroy your hard rock cock

>>727058607
>Mark, who the fuck is Doug?

>>727059691
some nigger

>>727059668
fuck. anyone, please carry my message onnnnnn
>dies

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>>727059335
I'm an affirmative action hire, sir. Bound to be promoted above you very soon to make the business look good. now u bes b okay wit dat fam

>>727059668
Can you keep it down? We are trying to work here

>>727059725
>Crap, fucking EEOC

>>727059733
Nice!
>Sticks penis into the corps

>>727059771
But..are you also a Jew?
That would probably take you to the
top. But then, I'm just impressed you can
type at all. They should give you an award
for being the first AA to ever use a PC.

Brad Higgins
CEO

Ok, who took my stapler, was it you anon?

guys I think I saw a sniper. so, look out for tha

>>727059944
I guess it was that guy from the other floor who tucked his dick to his leg

Doug in IT again

WHO THE HELL KEEPS SENDING TRANNY HOOKERS TO MY OFFICE?! For the record:

A. I DO NOT have a bug up my ass.

B. Even if I did I would go to a proctologist to take care of it.

C. The last one didn't even look like a woman.

>>727059944
Ask SteveO

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>>727052213
You can't hire John, you have to hire Tyrone to meet the company diversity quota.

>>727052564
"Hey guys, everyone put coffee rings on Dave's papers while he's upstairs. Faggot is always kissing-up to Waterman."

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>>727059643
>he doesn't own his own refrigerator

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Team - you're simply the best.

Anyone hear from HRM Cat lately? Kinda worried, maybe some gooks got him.

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>>727059963
Sorry, I was testing out my new pen that I ordered from the Internets

>>727060088
Yes but there is no problem because not every black person looks like tyrone, you fuckin retard

Also black people are not that much of a pussy to bother with diversity quota

>>727060240
quick use that pen to summon HRM Cat

The bathroom is NOT FOR FUCKING SHITTING ON THE FUCKING FLOOR IT STINKS EVERYWHERE AND I GOT ON MY GODDAMN SHOES PAJEET!

>>727060231
maybe the revolutionaries got him

For fucks sake!, where is the IT guy? I swear, if he's playing hotline miami in the server room again ...

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>>727060231
>>727060279

Sup, need something?, got busy trying to check who i'll send to fucking Bahamas, we need to spend the money of the company on useless traveling programs you know

>>727060424
kek,newfags won't get it.

>>727060632
stop trying to fit in chad, not even you understand that. Now get back to filing those pepes

>>727060308
>Sweating
Hey boss, I think it was the new guy who did it

>>727060308
It's a cultural thing. You wouldn't understand.

WOW, dick cockmith got Kermit to sing for us

>>727059619
>>727059541
Hey brad weir is wanting to go out to the dirty dock tonight are you in? Got an 8 ball I wanna kill. Just don't invite Karen again please she's pretty but crazy as hell. Page me.

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Who is ordering lunch from that Auzzy Sandwhich fucker? I need me some bacon chips

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>>727061022
Fuck yes, I'm in.

And no dude, fuck Karen.
I have a rule that I've abided to since highschool that states you DO NOT take pictures when you go out just in the off chance someone's old lady finds the picture on Facebook and sees her boyfriend getting a lap dance from a 15 year old Malaysian girl, and what does Karen do?
>ALRIGHT SMILE GUYS, SNAPCHAT! WHAT A GOOD FILTER FOR THIS PICTURE, ITS GOING ON INSTAGRAM, YOU THINK IT LOOKS GOOD? IS THIS PICTURE OF US GOOD ENOUGH FOR FACEBOOK?!

I swear to Christ I'm gonna shove that phone up her twat.

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Guys im outta weed

>>727052213
I open the door. ''FUCKING NORMIES'' i scream while pulling out my gun. Everyone starts screaming but, i fire at everyone. People dead, everywhere. I put the gun to my head. Let out a fearful battle cry while i pull the trigger.

>>727052213
what does ITT mean anyways?
it used to mean,
Intend to touch

>>727052213
>>>727059511
> Bobby "if she's old enough to crawl,
>she's in the right position, dear" Weir

Many many keks

>>727061505
>>727061587
Well fuck I mean I would hope we have enough sense not to post pics of that damb Malaysian I think I got herpes or something but damb she was a good time. Don't get me wrong Karen is a sweetheart but remember last time when she ended up blowing brad and you in the street? She's too fat to be that slutty. Good whore but we gotta keep her on the DL or it will spread too far in the office.

>>727061838
"I touch toddlers" or "itchy taint terror"
Depends on the context.

>>727060097
So it's *YOU* that keeps doing that shit!

I am so butthurt right now.

>>727061760
And then i woke up
With Piss in my pants

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>>727061889
She strikes me as one of those girls who were hot in highschool, graduated, ballooned up over the years, but retained that "IM HOT EVERYONE WANTS A PIECE OF THIS" mentality.
Now I love my girls with a bit of belly on them, but anything over 170 lbs., I avoid like the plague. Which sucks because she's been trying to hop on my dick since i was a fucking temp.

Nice round ass though. I can see going at it from behind but i can only imagine the stench would be obliterate my hard on.

YOU GUYS, CHECK OUT THIS FUCKING EMAIL DOUG JUST SENT ME:

Jon,

We need you to start using your company email. Using your own personal email is becoming unprofessional.
Also,
>using hotmail
>2017

-Doug

>>727057571
I'm gunna need you to return this to my office now

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Hey, if I put a "Dont forget, you're here forever." poster on my wall, would people get the reference or would it just look weird?

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Dear Brad Higgins. There's too many damn niggers and towl heads in my cubical talking about how diversity is great in the work place, send them back to janitor duty.
Sincerely, Tom Urkle.

Hey guys, Gonzalez here.
Were should i put these reaction images? I wanted to ask brad, but it looks like he is not here right now.

>>727062559
>>727062559
You know the boss is one of them too right?
Wispers:
I heard that the boss is an negro descent.

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(sits quietly at my desk and does my work without talking or bothering anyone. it's lunchtime but people are talking in the kitchen so i cant get my sandwiches out the fridge so i just skip lunch today)

Ben can I borrow your stapler real quick?

>>727062827
(distant shouting from the general direction of the shitter) ʸᵉᵃʰ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵖᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ᵃᶰʸʷʰᵉʳᵉ ᵒᶰ ᵐʸ ᵈᵉˢᵏ, ʸᵉᵃʰ ᵗʰᵃᵗˢ ᶠᶦᶰᵉ⋅ ᶜʰᵉᵉʳˢ ᵐᵃᵗᵉ *ᵖʳᵒᶫᵒᶰᵍᵉᵈ ᵍʳᵘᶰᵗᶦᶰᵍ*

who the FUCK TOOK MY SANDWICH
i swear to god someone better come forward or you're all going to regret it tomorrow

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>>727052213

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>>727062139
The girl is a freak that's for sure. Hell who cares maybe brad will invite her anyways. Man has his ways.

Anybody mind if I heat up this leftover fish in the microwave?

>Posting from your ISP, IP range, or country has been blocked due to abuse.
WHO THE FUCK!

Who ate my doughnuts? They were marked with my name!

Dear employees

As Bradley Higgins was unfortunately involved in an explosive hospital incident that I'm certain had nothing to do with me, I have been promoted.
>Mark, slip this enclosed cyanide packet into dougs soup

Shekel McGoldstein
CEO

>>727052213
>>>727057215
>I like the new logo, by the way, who took all the colombian coffee from the kitchen!?

Coffee? Yeah I've got some Colombian 'coffee' in my desk drawer.

Pop into my cube and get a line but you better be quick because I'm ducking out early to play golf.

Where's John from IT gone?

I need some help here ffs - I'm blocked from writing macros in Excel could you sort that for me?

>>727064347
Same fucker that took mine I reckon anon. That fat fuck Jew who just promoted himself to CEO.

I think we need to deal with him.

>>727065858
Hey did you know brad gave us donuts and he was super cool for that? Just letting you know...

>>727066314
Oh thanks dude i really needed some coffee-
... Why is this coffee white?

>>727066721
I'll keep that in mind
>if you cut Miguel (female) in half so we only have to pay her half a salary, we'd be able to afford donuts for a whole year

Regards
McGolstein
CEO

>>727052213
TFW I do work in an office like this, and I have to go to work in ten minutes...

>>727060064
Its the initial hazing all the IT folks go through Doug.

>Because they said if we sent you fried chicken and watermelon it would be considered racist

>>727062330
Fuck you Doug

Hotmail is just Outlook365

John.

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Doug,

This is John from IT. We need you (the new guy) to help set up Stacy's computer.

Oy vey, it would seem the nigger janitor found the weapons stash. I'm going to need him taken care of discreetly.
>first one to bring me his decapitated penis and head gets a 50% raise

McGoldstein
CEO

>Mark did Doug take the bait yet?

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Mr. Goldstien we found that hot file you were looking for.

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ITT: first time on 4chan