>be me >be 15 >just started high school >I was the kid who had his headphones in most of the time >mostly kept to myself >would mostly be happy online talking to friends >sees mesage one day >qt says hi >hola >she gets sick >I talk to her and tell her stories to make her feel better >she recovers you guys >keep on talking (this goes on for about a year) >one night we talk until 5am, neither of us wanted to go to bed, but I had to get off the computer before dad woke up for work >no message for 2 weeks >say hi >conversation dies fast >one month later still no messages >eventually get fed up and delete my profile >whathaveIdone.jpg >try to message her on different acount >she no longer uses it, found it she dropped out of school and moved across the world >this was 4 years ago OP
I decided to destroy all social based interactions I have. I stopped contacting muh friends because they piss me off with their gfs, fiancees, kids etc etc I refuse to go socializing with people who ask me out for a beer or whatever
I have so much time for shitposting now. It feels great.
>>726904618 Really? Do you remember when this happened? Reminds me of this story: turns out the guy in the story got into a rough patch in the relationship, and in one feels thread he resolved to go see her (he was in a hotel at that moment) and talk to her. Never saw an update.
>be 17 >just moved to a new school the previous year >have a huge crush on a girl >first crush ever >always make her laugh, and act a fool >people say "you and anon should be a couple" >don't know if I'm autistic or they were serious >every time she says some variant of "eww no" >this happens on two occasions >finally gets to me one night >start bawling asking "why doesn't she like me" >that night I came to the conclusion that I am undate-able
not much has changed, I realize that I did not pursue, ut i guess it would be pointless as it was a one side affair
6 years ago... > Saw the message on her phone, "Love you too." > Knew that the last four months of giving everything to save my marriage was for nothing > She never intended to reconcile > No money > EI had run out > No friends to count on > No family > Facing homelessness in a few days
I took a drive in my car and did not sleep that night. I was up in a cafe through the night. I had one person to call.
It was the saddest day of my life.
I thought, "At least I have my son to live for."
Over the next six years I put my life back together.
I went on to win three court battles against her.
Six years later I have a life that I want.
But no matter how successful I became or how I filled my life with purpose, meaning, and fulfilling connections, it was still wallpaper for nihilism.
I confronted that recently in a workshop I'd described as a spiritual retreat.
Others tell me nihilism means burning things to the ground. I'd respond that the world is bleak and that gives us morale imperative to help each other.
Life is wallpaper.
And when that wallpaper is stripped away you find yourself in an empty house with the lights off.
A place of suicide.
A place I'd been in at least half a dozen points of my life, each the lowest of my life in different ways, all equally horrible.
But I never wanted to kill myself. But having been there, I can see how others would.
When I entered back into this place again, I saw a lightbulb with a chain and I pulled it.
And the void became light.
The light filled me.
I realized there was light behind the wallpaper in the way you can turn on the lights of a house if you only pull the chain.
And I realized it was a fantasy.
I stepped out of that fantasy, seeing it for what it was. I crumpled it into trash and I tossed the trash away.
>>726901376 I'll never be the person I want to be I'll never had friends and I'll always be hated on. It's not cool man it's not fucking cool. I want to have a real dream for a real meme. I WANT TO FUCKING BECOME A CONTRIBUTOR IN MUSICCCCCC
there's nothing good about me. I have no goddamn future, no specialties, no talents, no skills. I am the result of the worst genetics being put together into one giant failure in the making. to top it off my brother diddled me and now I have to watch myself lest I become the diddler
I was led through a workshop exercise with music and the speaker walking everyone through a visualizing exercise.
> I'm in a forest > Ahead of me is a gate > Inside the gate is a small pile of trash. It's all the broken promises others had made with me. > Drawn into flashbacks of things that should have been but never were. > Another pile of met me further ahead. Larger than the last. I picked through the items representing broken promises I'd made, betrayals, situations of lacking integrity and ruined relationships. Fights. Conflict. > Ahead was an even larger pile. The largest one of all, a mountain. The things in my life I'd never forgiven about myself, the things I'd been too hard on myself about. Bad memories from my childhood buried. The times when dad was never home because he was away working to stop us from losing the house. > I was told to picture my younger self. And I saw him. And I saw the room of the old house I was never allowed into. I saw dad's perspective and felt what it must have been like to be him, having never had a dad of his own, shouldering the burden of the world on his shoulders. I saw old me, old him, my son, and there were all side by side. > Hands trembling because you only ever seen this in anime. And it was happening to me here and now. > I was old me talking to old dad. Dad, let's throw the football around. Come into the fort and tell me what your vision of the future was. Tell me how much you loved me. Tell me everything was going to be okay. The happy memory I always wanted and never had. How the past could have been. > I'm back at the trash pile. I hug young me and take him into myself. Acceptance. > Past the mountain is a pile of dirt. A chest concealed that I dig out with my hands. > We're not told what's inside. And when I open it, all I see are photos. > Happy photos of friends and family with me. All separate. A neat pile. > I'm told to go through the gate and close it behind me.
>>726906057 (2/2) > I'm not told what should be waiting for me. > What I find are all the people in the photos standing outside in concave formation. > They're waiting for me, smiling, and clapping that I came out. > I give them the photos > The dream ends > We're told to wake up and in front of me is my breakout partner who went through his own journey. > We hug. > My hands were still trembling. And the tissue I'd been handed when all our eyes were closed was wet with tears, hidden in my pocket.
>be me >have a best friend that i do everything with >calls himself red because he's into pokemon >me and red go to the same school, the same one i'm still at >red occasionally battles depression because of childhood abuse >i see him through it all and then some >one day he freaks out because a friend of his killed himself >red doesn't talk to me for 2 days >one day i get a call from him and he says "anon, you've been a wonderful friend, thank you,goodbye." >my last fucking words to him were "red, don't be that guy that-" didn't even get to finish because he hung up >dad says hes just being dramatic and let him cool off >next day i found out he hung himself at 6pm >i learned to never brush off people threatening suicide >still haven't forgiven myself for not calling him back
And also. There was this incident. Of whoever found an PayPal exploit. I was upset that I just want to buy these musical instruments until I saw that on the deep web. It obviously changed my geneerousity that I will never get the chance to pay the developer for their efforts.
>>726908240 I remember hearing this song in a rick&morty episode this was around the time my best friend stopped talking to me I dunno why but it hurt more when I best friend left than when my gf and I broke up I guess it's because the breakup was mutual but the best friend left without even saying goodbye Still love her It's late anon, 5:11am here what am i doing?
>>726909070 I'm not even tired at the moment this could be that moment, you're right wouldn't be the first wake up call after the arrest after the abuse after the isolation at least i can wake up and say im a little but smarter and sympathetic I usually do the listening but thanks for being my listener this time around anon
I've been in a relationship with an awesome girl for 5 months now, things are going great.. but I'm still in love with my ex girlfriend of 5 years (we split up almost a year ago).
She's moved on, fell in love with her best friend (the guy she always told me never to worry about..) and is now pregnant with his kid.
I've always fantasized about us getting older and finding each other again, falling back in love and making up for lost time together.. but now that she's pregnant with his kid, I don't know if i'll be able to allow myself to be with her again. That kid would do nothing but remind me of our hurtful past.
i once had a female cat with the name of goku (it was sad but cute that it was named goku... for the most part that the person who actually ownd goku was a complete normal fag who didnt know really ANYTHING about dragon ball, but i just shrugged it off then) and, at that time, she would be staying at my dad's girlfriend's place. of course, the cat eventually moved into my old place.
goku was a complete tsundere, an asshole little siamese cat who would OCCASIONALLY love me, but still a very cute nice piece of shit. now i would go into detail on how much i LOVE The Elder Scrolls, but i wont beyond that. anyway, the chick who owned her (lets just call her krabs) hated video games with a passion i swear. she influenced my dad into thinking the same probs just to stay with him. she was a quite a bitch... but i managed. it was then that i was getting real into TES, and goku, like most things in my life, influenced me in the fact that i was always a khajiit in any of the TES games i was playing. becausemy parents are divorced, i could play oblivion at my ma's, and play whatever late at night, silently, at dads.
but then, one day, goku started getting sick. she was throwing up more, and blood was coming out as well. it was horrible. krabs was absolutly upset as well... cause its her cat that she got as a kitten. one night, when i was playing minecraft when i thought krabs and my dad had went to bed, i heard krabs blowing her nose into somthing, mabye a tissue. at first i didnt think much of it.
that was the night goku died and i wasnt there for when she did... i only found out until the next day, and, you know when you cry so hard u make the funniest fucking ugly faces ever? that happnd.
years have passed, and then i decided to create some fan art for TES: Skyrim, and then i had a flashback of goku... i almost cried, but i didnt. i shouldnt have either cuz i was in a yacht club when i made the fan art. that'll make any of the elderly white people there concerned e.e
>be me >just last week >thought i met a girl that i could fall in love with >was under the impression that we connected and had a lot in common >seemed too good to be true >went out with her tonight with some of her brother's friends >turns out it was too good to be true >just another dumb vapid cunt
I'll die alone, /b/. I used to have hope that love was real. Now I'm starting to see where all the cynical misogyny on 4chan is coming from.
>>726910269 had a dog for 6 years it was my siters pet originally but she moved to college and i was the only one that give a shit about the thing little chihuahua, angry but sweet once you get to know her I let her out, stay up late watching Nicktoons as she fell asleep on my lap, then let her sleep in my bed even though she shed I swear my pj's always had a little dog hair on them no matter how many times we washed them she would even be there in the front yard when i got back from school It was like i was the only person that cared about her and she somehow knew it As few years pass, and she can't get up one morning I take her to the vet and she tells me it's a problem with the leg bone i pay for the shots and she's back to her usual self but it comes back more and more now eventually she completely lost mobility in her legs, couldn't even stand up so i had to pick her up, to feed her, and let her shit outside, and carry her back I talked with my mom and after a long talk we decided to put her down on Saturday, it was a tough blow to my chest Thursday night, she slept in my bed, well she didnt sleep that much and neither did i she lost all control of her bowels and shit the bed, I had to clean it up and she cried from the pain in her legs, actually shaking and would only stop when i comforted her slept an hour that night all i could think about was my dog that whole Friday at school I came home, stone faced and ready to clean whatever mess she made she was lying on the floor dead, she had attempted to walk to where my room was before she died because she wanted to see me one last time I fucking lost it at that pint I cried and made those ugly faces not giving a fuck like you described I held her body one last time in the car ride to this place that cremates your pets >pic related, it's her
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