Can I get some good/best 4chan greentexts? >OC is welcome.

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>>726806242

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>>726806242

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>>726807356

>be me
>be 9 years old
>mom made me sign up for boy scouts
>gay asf
>head over to the bus station to go to the meeting area
>see boring friend approaching me, still hasn't seen me
>he's the most boring person to talk to
>decide i must not be seen at all costs
>hide under a car to avoid him
>it actually fucking works
>he gets on a bus and finally fucks off
>thankkek.jpg
>get up from beneath the car, feela strange sensation in my hair
>the car was leaking oil
>all of my hair soaked
>surprisingly not very noticeable since i had extremely dark hair
>decide fuck it, i dont wanna go back home to take a shower
>get on bus
>the whole fucking bus smells like car oil
>everyone opening the windows
>but no one suspects me
>get to my stop after 10 minutes of being inside a crowded gas chamber smelling like fucking oil
>see all my friends
>realize hair has somehow styled itself quite nicely
>"hey anon nice hairstyle"
>"th-thanks..."
>doesn't smell that much cuz we're outside
>"So today kids we're gonna learn how to start a fire in the wilderness!"
>killme.jpg
>before we start the tard kid comes up to me and starts touching my hair because "it look good"
>his entire hand is black and covered in oil
>convince him its because of my hair gel
>actually fucking believes it
>tard kid is up first to start a fire
>im sweating so much my balls are in a hot tub
>tard kid successfully starts a fire with the help of the leader of our patrol
>he's cheering and smiling so much
>but not for long
>fire reaches his hand and sets it on fire
>tard kid releases the loudest fucking screech in all of the universe
>leader has the most confused and frightened look on his face
>one of the boy scouts has a water bottle and puts out tard kids flaming hand
>tard kid taken to the hospital
>all because i wanted to avoid my friend
>mfw he had first degree burns
>got out scot free
>never told a soul

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>>726807423

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>>726807452

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>>726807425
kek, good one

>>726807425
I thought for sure your ass was going to get lit up somehow

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>>726807572

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>>726807425
Nice, screencapped

>>726807356
Jajaja, nice one!

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>>726807607

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>be myself
>me very good cooker
>go to masterchief
>face gordon ramsai
>"you shit" say he
>"you shit to" say me
>walk to my cauldron
>where is my chicken
>find it
>dance the chicken meat
>jamie oliver comes in
>"meat is no good" he say
>i pounched out his brain
>its raw
>put it in my cauldron with some carrots
>itsdelicious.doc
>1 hour later
>ramsai come and taste my cauldron
>"tastes like penguinbringer. your winner"
>he vomits and about to death
>"who are you?" he ?
>"me is jude law. the pope young. and me defeat the hells kitchen"

pic related

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I'm just going to leave this here...

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>>726807754

>>726808288
kek

>>726808128
Youre trying to hard. This sucked

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Anyone got the one with the autistic guy and the irish stew ?

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>>726808128
>where is my chicken
>dance the chicken meat
>tastes like penguinbringer
>he vomits and about to death

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>Be SS officer
>Catch this pretty mixed race mongrel and her family trying to escape the border.
>"Search her" in front of her family
>Take her into a private room
>Tell her that she and her family can leave if she sucks your cock.
>Start off gentle then ram it into her uvula and hold it in until she vomits.
>Make that degenerate slop up her own puke like the nasty trash she is.
>Kick her in stomach, bend her over fuck her hard in the ass unt she bleeds.
>Then deflower her as our god given right as a superior Aryan man.
>Cum all over her face.
>Let your men have a go at her.
>Return her bow legged still partially naked and tears streaming down her cum covered face to her horrified and terrified family. Escort her with your arm around hers like a mock gentleman.
>Send them all to the camps for the lulz anyway.

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>be me
>be 16
>Be horny
>Find 24 year old online who is down to fuck
>8/10 Qt
>Tells me her ovaries are fucked and don't work due to birth complications
>Nobabies.jpeg
>Cum in her for about 6 months until the relationship dies off
>Year later find her on Facebook
>Mfw she has a 3 month old baby
>Mfw she is married
>Mfw when I'm probably the father

>>726807425
faggot/10 fake and gay
1. you cant burn motor oil until you heat it to the right temp and it begins releasing a flammable gas.
2. first degree burns are the mildest burn possible. are you actually saying he was taken to the hospital for nothing more than a sun burn?
3.You cant out an oil fire out with water.
4. Motor oil doesn't have a strong smell.
Learn to make up better stories op.

>>726808162
Grats, you got dubs and want to show everyone. Good job.

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>>726806242

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>>726806242
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEbEYnsEMbE

>>726809552
I love the fgc

>>726807425
Of course... Try fucking putting out an oil fire with water again and see what happens you retard

>>726806770
Still makes me cry

>>726809750
No u>>726809787

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leaving this here

>>726811273
jesus

>>726808162
Not even greentext and not even remotely interesting

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>>726809607
This one always get me

Am I meant to be with this one girl in my friend's advisory? Dubs yes. 1 no. Trips marriage.

>>726813363
I NEED TO KNOW UNIVERSE LAY IT ON ME

>>726813381
Bummed but there is plenty of girls out there but not this one ): dubs decides if i become a catholic priest (i am actually very religious /b/)

>>726813455
Yes, I will then. Thank you number for deciding my fate.

>>726809607
>link
Fuck my sides

>>726806770

feels

>>726811737
Literally was crying from this.

>>726807572
gg wp

>>726806770
Online friend going offline is the saddest and realest feel.
I'm still waiting for you to come back Red.

>>726808288
how you do that?