ITT: We all live in Whiterun

Do you get to the could district very often?

Anything's for sale! If i had a sister i'd sell her in an instance!

Obviously you don't come to the cloud district often

Well shit, another Dragon, it was nice knowing you.

>>726760318
Graymane or battleborn

can i be the dude that sings at the pub thing

I work for belethor, at the general goods store

But have you heard of those warriors from Hammer fell? They've got curved swords.

>>726760682
>Not supreme alpha battleborn

>>726760318
Got some good pieces out here if you're looking to buy, more inside.

Ah orcish armor i see, i had a set of that myself once. ugly and strong just like the people who made it

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Maybe some other time I'll reveal your destiny, hmm? Tea leaves, palm reading, crystal scrying... Oooh! Maybe trepanning? Ha ha ha ha

>>726760318
>I don't claim to be the best blacksmith in Whiterun, Eorlund-Gray-Mane's got that honor.
What do you have for sale?
>The finest weapons and armor

What happends to all the ded bodies in Whiterun? Where do they go?

i'm that pigeon that flies around

You know what's wrong with Skyrim these days? Everyone's obsessed with death.

>>726760318
You don't look like you get to the Cloud district.
or whatever

It's a fine day with you around.

I'm sworn to carry your burdens.

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>>726760318
i used to be an adventurer like you, until i took an arrow in the knee

Pa pa your back!

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>>726760318

HOW-ARE-YOU-HUMANS-TODAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!

I work with my mother, to sell fruits and vegetables. It's fun most days, but hard work.

>>726761255
DRAGONNN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNhIH9o_P6s

NEED A RIDE!?! CLIMB ON BACK AND WE'LL BE OFF.

>>726761415
I fucking love you anon

>>726761255

YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME HERE

Gimme all your money battleborn

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>>726761415
hated the prophet of talos so, so much. He should not have been standing at the foot of dragonsreach because we walked by him too often.

>>726760318
Watch the skies traveller...

>>726760734
curved. swords.

you ever tried mercenary work? might suit you.

Quick reminder that Skyrim belongs to the Nords.

>>726760318
Im homeless because whiterun has a horrific housing crisis. The Jarl sits in his hall saying the same 8 or 9 phrases but does nothing to help the people. We've 2 farms to feed all these people yet apparently we have the resources to fund a dragon, a werewolf club and this random bastards who keeps wandering in shouting his tits off and causing all these shenanigans. Fuck this city

Proventus, bring me my pen. And the good parchment.

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got married and had a kid. Now I just work as a guard

>>726761765
>~
>click prophet
>"Delete"

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I don't claim to be the best cocksucker in Whiterun. OP has that honor. The man's faggotry in legendary. All I ask is for a dick in the ass.

Clan greymane reporting in

>>726762059
>confirmed for redguard

>hurr durr everyone rates free sweet rolls
>hurr durr y r the jarl not fight dragons himself!?
>CURVED SWORDS!

go back to hammerfell

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Don't mind me, I'm at Ysolda's, fucking her brains out.

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>>726760318
My name's Jarl Balgruuf, and I be BALLIN!!!

>>726762665
IMPOSTER! PROVENTUS, WHERE IS MY DAMN PEN, I NEED TO STAB SOMEONE!

>>726762616
she can't even feel your pencil dick after riding that mammoth tusk all day

>>726760318
GET YOUR GROOVE ON SOLDIER

>>726762794
Farengar has been wiggling it up his ass again, my Jarl.

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>be sneak archer
>find whiterun citizen sleeping in bed in the drunken huntsman
>save game
>shoot ebony arrow, point blank, into their head
>HELP IM BEING ATTACKED
>cops come in, kill them all.
>reload save, rinse repeat for hours

>>726762665
Oh look, another wanderer here to lick my father's boots. Good job.

>>726762616
She wasn't that hot in my game

What's the matter? You can't stand the sight of a strong Nord woman?

Guard might get nervous, a man approaches with his weapon drawn

>>726760682
What?

>>726763780
no matter how hot they look with the mods, they still walk like they have stick up their ass

I need to ask you to stop. That shouting is making people nervous

>>726760914
Kek I don't know how I never noticed that fuckup no matter how many hundreds of times I heard it.

>>726760963
My basement.

>>726763780
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/63473/?

>>726764057
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/13272/?

We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars!

>>726762005
I'm a white Anglo American irl. What Skyrim race does that make me?

>>726762317
Was anyone else supremely buttblasted about not being able to wife Adrianne Avenicci?

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>>726764625
nigger

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>Be me
>Chillin in Draugr Crypts in Whiterun
>Have comfy stone spot to sleep at
>Had some giggles with the others down here earlier, and played some rock papyrus scissor
>Won a gold coin
>whereinTalosdoikeepit.bonE
>Catching Zzzs for some time
>ASDGMKTWRGSAGWSKTQRWRGL
>Loud as fuck crash from down my corridor
>whothehell.InkonPapyrus
>Keep my eyes closed and ignore
>Forgot i have no eyes
> just watch doorway instead
>Gets louder
>Gets Closer
>Some guy in gold armor is swinging around a iron sword at every skeleton he sees
> killmenow.incantation
>get down to talk to him and tell him to shut up and give us a break
>get chopped in half
>now lying on the ground
>mfw this happens every day
>mfw this is my curse brought on to me

>>726764757
I knew it.

>>726764751
There is a mod for everything

>>726764751
no. she already has a shop. a wife is an extra merchant to sell crap to since everyone runs out of gold so fast.

>>726764022
You got stones in your ears? Gray-mane, or battleborn?

>In Bruma: "All homes in Skyrim have a basement."
>In Skyrim: no homes have a basement.
nt, bethesda

>>726760318
Im a redguard. I accidentally killed the warmaidens bitch trying to kill a vampire. Vampires killed the dude at warmaidens and belethor. I have fewer people to sell shit to. Also im a nigger

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>>726764902
Yeah I mean this is the pragmatic view but she's just so fucking perfect, man.
>mfw I'll never have a strong and beautiful blacksmith waifu

>>726764625
Nord

>walks 10ft to the right of a bench
>sits down in mid-air
>teleports to bench
>stares at you with dead eyes

>>726763243
Come to dragonshreasch to discuss the ongoing hostilities, like the rest of the great warriorsh?

>>726760495
instantly kill you

What're you lookin' at? I'm not afraid of you, ya know. Even if you are my elder.

Id be alot warmer and alot happier with a bellyful of mead

Anyone want to come smoke beer with me?

>>726765389
I liked Farengar.

I think some cunt stole my sweet roll.

My cousin's out fighting dragons, and whado aye get? GUARD duty.

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I joined up with the companions. Am werewolf now.

>>726760495
Fus Ro Da!!!

>>726764057
"Mammoth tusk"

>>726764906
Battle-born

>>726765848
Ah yes, the "can't do anything, everyone kills me instantly" mode

>>726765549
He was the most basic mage in the continent and he acted like he was the shit.

I'm moving to Markarth. Anyone want to come with me?

>>726760495
Fus Ro Da!!!!!

Farm work is hard work

You're naked!

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PRAISE TALOS

>>726766029
XD

>>726761255
Victory or sovengard!!!!!

>>726765974
typical government worker - didn't do shit, thought he was the best

lazy cocksucker couldn't even go out to bleak falls barrow himself

>>726766219
keep kissing talos' ass and maybe he will give you a chin some day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lttqPaaCt0s

>>726765974
Yeah but he was so nice and friendly to you.

>>726766670
he insulted you

"clearly you are better suited for such a menial task"

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Do somebody saw a Redguard woman here?

>>726766787
Yeah shit I forgot about that right at the beginning. I just remember him being bro tier later.

>>726760318
Light armor means light on your feet. Smart

There's a nip in the air, cold won't be good for my crops

I raped and killed lydia

>>726767538
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>726760318
We should take this town, not even the empire or stormcloaks could match an army of /b/tards

>>726762665
SWAG

>>726767803
What would they be trying to match us in exactly?

>>726767888
This stranger got trips. The Jarl must name him thane.

>>726767956
They couldn't compete with the outright autism and we'd own the land

>>726767956
Idk. My 2h war hamma is pretty OP. just need a healer to back me up.

LFG; need healer!

>>726767129
that's because when we first play the game, we want to be bossed around a little bit, and treated like dirt, and told exactly where to go.

then you play the game 3 times and you're ready to look for ways to kill the NPC you don't like, even if they give "that one quest"

>>726766670
Friendly? Only if you were a mage. And even then, still condescending af

Fuck this retarded city markarth is better.

Thane just raided my entire house and killed my wife the guard says its fiiiiiiiiiiine

>>726767020
kek

>>726760695
no

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>be me
>on guard duty
>cousin out fighting dragons
>thank akatosh it's fredas
>faggot with no clothes runs by me
>sigh
>nude man shouts at civilians, their bodies proceed to go apeshit
>what is an ape anyway
>nude man is technically breaking the law though
>arrest him, but sympathize
>fondly remember the days i was an adventurer like him
>night comes
>nude criminal broke out of prison and killed 3 guards
>won't retire for another four years
>might die first anyway
why go on?

>>726760318
Whiterun is a good town. I like to start my night off with a couple pints at the Drunken Huntsman and then head over to the Bannered Mare for a meal and some more pints.

>>726761214
And that includes my child, you little Nord squaw.

Give me your money Battle-born!

>>726764625
Breton

>>726765377
kek

>>726765983
Markarth sucks.

>>726767535
Severio Pelagia. Most underrated bro i the game.

Out of my way battleborn fucking shits

Fucking noisy ass milk drinkers

im going to Falkreath, its too crowded here

I take it you don't get to the cloud district very often. I'll have you know there's no pussiiiiiieeeeee!

Fucking Gildergreen is dying, JUST!

Let me guess? Some on stole your sweetrole?

>>726760318
Can i fuck a khajiit?

>>726760525
"an instance?" It's not technically wrong
but
are you fucking retarded?

>>726761255
Do dragons attack towns in skyrim? I've never seen it happen

>>726772416
its okay /b/ro, itll get better. dont an hero on us.

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>>726775777
they don't attack towns until you complete the Watchtower quest that the Jarl of Whiterun gives you.

personally I played most of the game twice before doing the main quest. I "learned" a lesson from the TES Oblivion, never do the main quest first, ever ever for any reason

>>726760734
>petty larceny intensifies

>>726775251
>Falkreath
My nigga. Falkreath is god tier comfy. That's my favorite smaller town and Markarth is my favorite proper city.

>>726776273
this guy gets it

>>726770403
Riften best city, Falkreath best hold.

>>726776541
>statistically PROVEN to have the most criminal activity in skyrim
>best city

>>726776541
Khajiit detected

>>726777155

and this is somehow a problem...
no, they just have a good grip on capitalism, and they aren't sullied by the imperials.

>>726777334
The Imperials are based.

Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise!

We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars!

But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, "Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you." [note 1]

Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel!

And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit!

The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth!

Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives?

And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people!

So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine!

For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!

Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment!

And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man!

Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in the words of Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!

>>726777464
Imperials are Thalmor cucks.

>>726777870
buddy, everyone's a thalmor cuck

>>726777870
That's the Stormcloaks nigga

>>726777919
Which makes me want the next TES game to be on Somerset Isles, just so i can go on a murderous rampage against the Altmer.

Guard might get nervous, man approaches with his weapon drawn...

>>726775316
Girls need to learn how to plaaaay with themselves

>>726778099
This seems pretty likely to me.

>>726760318
I used to be a b/tard like you, but then I took an virus to the HD

>>726765389
The lisp got me

>>726767020
> Sandnigger1.jpg

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Got a lot of memes to shape

>>726760318
Dragons attacking again?
Hold me mead
*grabs wood cutters axe*

>>726764751
she does flirt pretty hard despite having a husband 10 feet away

An odd wyzard arrives ... Disappears down the well one day 'nazeem saw, from the cloud district'

Weeks worth of digging and base building commence

"Harambe's Alchemy"

Another wanderer...here to lick my fathers balls?

i live in the arch mages guild room with a full set of daedric armour

>>726780603
To bad there gorn... I wouldnt've belived it if i hadnt seen itt with my own eyes

Ayy look at me! I live in whiterun everybody!

I'd sell my own sister, if I had one.

>>726781986
hell id fuck my own sister if i had one

>>726760318
I go to the cloud district and burn it so nazeem can never go back.

>>726762665
Another wanderer here to lick my father's balls. Too bad they're gone

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>random dude in shit-tier armor shows up one day saying a dragon burned down a city
>don't know why the guards even let his filthy ass in
>will have talk with them later
>figure i can throw another body at my court wizard, so i send him over.
>comes back with arrows sticking out of his body and holding the tablet out for my court wizard like its nothing
>hear reports that someone has killed literally every bandit, rat, wolf, and rabbit between here and the spot he was sent.
>decide it is imperative to get this pain-immune lunatic out of my city
>guard comes screaming about a dragon outside the gates
>ohthankthegods
>send the lunatic out on a suicide mission to fight the dragon
>end of my worries
>he comes back
>this nigger actually comes back... apparently having killed the dragon and eaten its soul
>guards report that he just stood there and let the dragon burn him while chugging addictive and dangerous health potions that he crafted himself
>now he stands in front of me eating an entire bushel of apples, two loaves of bread, and an entire side of beef
>need to get him out of the city and away from our children as fast as possible
>tell him he needs to climb the tallest mountain in the land.
>he needs to stay with the greybeards
>he leaves without saying a word
>hopefully that's the last i see of him.

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Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise!

We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars!

But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, "Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you." [note 1]

Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel!

And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit!

The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth!

Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives?

And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people!

So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine!

For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!

Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment!

And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man!

Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in the words of Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!