ITT: We work in an office Dubs and shit breaks loose

jerks off in the water dispenser

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I'll need those papers on my desk by 5:30, Anon

Too depressed to type words

Ugh, open the windows, Wilson has let one go

>>726744881
Ted from HR here. We're gonna have to make some cut backs.

Coughs

>>726745658

Fuck off, Ted, You nigger-hiring cunt

Strip naked and slide you ass along the floor like dogs do

>>726746803
Re roll

>>726745321
Good thing we only type numbers

Hey anyone seen the game last night?

>>726745321
Too fed up with your shit to give a fuck.

Ugh will friday never come?

>>726746609
Johnson, I'm glad you reminded me, you're the first to go.

>>726744881

Take off your clothes and lie down on the floor. Refuse to speak to anyone except the King.

hands up this is a stick up

>>726744881
Piss in a cup and throw it at a coworker.

>>726747089
reroll

>>726746609
Hmm, you're going to have to come in on Saturday.

hey word around the office is youve got a big cock?

*misses the crumpled paper trash shot*

>>726745658
>>726746609

See? No cut backs! When someone wants to fire you, just tell them to fuck off and call them a cunt. Works IRL, legit...

Get on the floor and start screaming "ЛЕПС , СУКА , Я ЛЮБЛЮ ТЕБЯ!".

>>726747122
not fucking cool dude.

>>726744881

Time to "work" until the boss comes around, then pretend I wasn't /b/rowsing

>>726747122
You can go suck a fat one. The only thing I'm coming in on Saturday is your daughter.

>>726747222
TRIPS WAT DO WE DO BOSS

>>726747122
>dubs
NIGGERS

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>>726747222

IT'S TIME MOTHERFUCKERS, PULL OUT THE DILDO SWORDS AND STORM THE BUILDING

>>726747222
Nice trips fag

This shit is fake. Reverse image search. Plus , there is no way it is day time in your region.

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>>726747222
>>726747266
>>726747322
>>726747333

Shit on your hands then go around slapping people

>>726747027

Oh yeah, fucker?

Well I identify as gender fluid something or other, fuck knows.

CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE CISSCUM

Go on, fire me now!

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>>726747444

CHECKED

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>>726747444

Doug from IT here.

For the record all files have to be saved as .odt file type. Just giving you a heads up, seeing as that we'll be phasing out Microsoft Office in two months.

>>726747266
FUCKING PWNED

>>726747444
>>726747222
>>726747266
>>726747322
>>726747333
>>726747499
what the fuck

>>726747494
You're extra fired.

How are the kids?

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>>726747538
suck my dick IT faggot

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>>726747222
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tj0xtdN0_tA

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>>726747587

I DUNNO B0SS, BUT IF KEK SO WISHES, A STORM OF FROGS MUST DESCEND

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>>726747266

Take a shit on the floor

>>726747538
Doug you faggot, what does odt stand for? Oral Dick Time?! HAHAHAHAHA, HEYBRET YOU HEAR THAT ONE???

>>726747751
Why the company decided to import Indians, I'll never understand.

Timestap of sharpie in the ass office party

Slap the fucker from the pic with a cock

Is that a plane?

*crashes and jumps off window*

Shit fight

>>726747781

GOOD ONE CHAD!

>>726748107
Thanks bro! Hooters later?? Doug is buying!

>>726747781
Doug from IT again.

Odt is the file type used by LibreOffice, the office suite that will be replacing Microsoft Office.

Also, its come to my attention that some of your are still using Windows 7. If you don't turn in your laptops for the upgrade I can't guarantee that you'll be able to log into the network.

H-hey guys! B-beer me, Chad!

>>726748171

Sure thing bro! Hey, we should call him DOUG THE FAG HAHAHAHA

>>726748279
Get outta my sight Alex, you friggin gayfer

Whisper *Meet me in the bathroom in 15 for your daily face fuck*

>>726748267

What's that, Doug the Fag? Something cums on you? HAHAHA

>>726748701
Whisper *O-okay, Chad. B-bring beer, please.*

>>726748400
Doug from IT again.

Oh yeah, calling me a fag is so funny. Considering I still have those pictures from your trip to Thailand.

Also, you guys know I'm banned from Hooters. Apparently hover handing my waitress' ass is considered a "sexual assault"

>>726747222
gathers a gang of post-apocalyptic cannibals to start raiding the entice facility

>>726749312
*entire

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>mfw I've been watching Top Gear on my comp since i clocked in, blazed as shit, while the rookies are running around working themselves to death

>>726749175

I've just realized how much I value and respect our coworker Douglas and all the great work he does for the company.

>>726749538
Doug from IT again

I appreciate the feeling. Sadly, it seems that I've sent copies of those photos to your wife, her divorce lawyer, your mistress, yo momma and Barry Goldblatstein, the head auditor in accounting.

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>>726749175
Hey Dig-Doug, what's that girl you have a crush on?

Lexi, right?

Do my fingers smell like her?

>>726749538
>love
what are you fuckin gay?

>>726750083
Doug from IT again.

I wouldn't know, the restraining order is still in effect. Apparently being a gentlemanly secret admirer is considered stalking.

>>726750075

Well then, let's have a good, old-fashioned office massacre, you fags had it coming for a long time!

DUBS GIVE ME STRENGTH!!!

The fucking printer is jammed again, someone needs to get this shit fixed!

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>>726750389
It was all because of that dumbass stunt you pulled with the dog and the Toy Story DVD at the Christmas party. It took Pablo 2 fucking days to clean all of the blood and feces out of the breakroom.

Seriously, dude, what the fuck were you thinking?

>>726750641
I fucking told Craig that thing is broken, but noooooo "A LITTLE JAM IS NO BIG DEAL, ANON. IT'S NOT NECESSARY TO REPLACE IT, ANON."

Grab the other end of this thing, dude, we're throwing it off the roof.
Then we'll see if it's "necessary" to replace it.

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aye guys! I'm Jamal!
I got hired a few days ago. Whats hip hop happenin?

>>726751186
Doug from IT again.

Its not my fault Lexi slipped something into my drink. Besides, Tasha in advertising is into way kinkier shit.

>>726752191
>Lexi slipped something into my drink
Cut the shit, Doug, you slipped something into her's but you were too fucking plastered to think straight and drank from it instead of giving it to her, i saw the whole thing, i was standing right the fuck behind you.

HR promised me a raise.... Where is my raise?!?

>>726753221
Doug from IT again

According to the payroll program if your a hetero white male your pay raise request is deleted and a memo is sent to HR that you go to 'diversity training'