What was the most satisfying sexual experience of your life?

>>726517266
Got high with my fuck buddy, sucked each other, ate his ass, fucked him raw and planted my seed in him. Fell asleep holding each other.

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>>726517564
That's not what I felt like reading.

>>726517266
>first blowjob
>her 19
>me 16
>she sucked cock like a total porn whore
>if i say i lasted 5 minutes i'm exaggerating
>swallowed like it was her job
>I came so hard i actually farted
>she just smiled and called me a good boy

she sucked and fucked the life out of me for an entire summer and then for whatever reason married some dude and had kids.

i will never forget that broad.

masturbating on 4chan

<----Virgin

>First weekend back from college
>Hanging out with gay friend
>I'm high. he's not
>Sitting on the couch
>He rubs my half hard cock through my shorts
>He takes it out
>Gives me the best blowjob I've ever had to this day
>Blow what feels like the third fattest nut in my life

He had texted me in the past about wanting to suck me off but I never believed him until that night,

>>726517831
Nice. I suspect she settled down with a guy because he gave her attention her dad never did and it was her instinct to settle down

>>726518206
More gay shit, really?????

>>726517266
When I told her to lay belly up on her bed, head over the edge so I could fuck her throat and she did.

>>726517266
This is one of my favorite stories
>be me around 21
>started seeing a girl who I was friends with beforehand
>kinky
>knows what she's doing
>been having a grand old time for the last week
>sleeping over at her place a lot
>allnightlong.mp3
>having a weird dream
>keeps getting better and better
>wake up euphoric
>look down
>she woke me up with a bj
>fuck her brains out shortly after

>>726518382

Not my fault girls in my life can't suck dick well

>>726518382
Maybe you should try some gay shit and see how good it can be

>>726517266
>me, 17
>gf and her best friend, 17
>bff and I watched gf masturbate in a public park in the middle of the night

I don't know why it did it for me, but fuck.

>>726517266
I think I'll pass on this. Don't want people to know.

>>726518568
No thanks. Men are disgusting. The only appeal I can see to the gay lifestyle is that male minds are willing to randomly meet someone and have a sexual experience right away, more so than female minds.

I guess the trick is to find the females that are capable of that.

>>726518723
What the fuck would you want to cover up as anon?

>>726518735
backpage.com

>>726518847
It's probably embarrassing

>>726518735
Women are just as likely as men are

>>726518931
Any success from that site?

>senior week
>laying down on couch in the living room
>everyone else asleep
>a girl there that never said a word to me prior comes over to me, takes her boobs out, shoves them in my face
>unzips my pants and starts blowing me
>probably best bj i've ever had, came buckets

Fucked a 19 year old in a lifeguard post on the beach. she told me i was her 2nd.

This sounds fake but is 100% true, and the only time anything like this ever happened to me.

> In college
> Late night BSing with friends
> Friends are three girls
> In lobby of one of the school buildings that's always open
> Two of them are fuck buddies of mine but don't know about each other
> Both are horny and decide to start teasing
> Third chick joins in
> All start to try one upping each other
> I suggest we move to a more private area
> Too horny to go far, we find a nearby unlocked room
> Foursome commences

It was what you would expect. Fucked, got sucked, two girls have their first gay experiences (third was already bi), and we spent literally hours screwing around. Never happened again, no friend of mine would ever believe it, still remember it fondly.

>>726519064
oops, sorry for the useless URL.

That used to be the main place to find hookers on the internet. But I guess that ended early this year.

I don't like dick either, so I guess I'm stuck unhappy and on /b/

Had an argument with a friend while we were on a camping trip with two other people (we were both 16 and in the middle of a fucking forrest).

It was like 4 in the morning and we had been drinking. Other two went to sleep. This guy and I both went for a piss.

He flashed me his cock a like a 'fuck you cunt' type of thing but then I just whipping mine out. Told him to get on his knees. Then I fucked his mouth until I came in his mouth.

It was fucking amazing. Never had a gay experience since lmao it was like 5 years ago.

>>726517266
girl who i only met once before started rubbing her heels on my dick, told my other friend to leave the condo and proceeded to bang her and get the best dome ever. Ending of the story isn't as great,

>>726519373
Or you could go outside and actually talk to a person

>laying on back
>gf squatted on top of me
>went up and down as slow as she possibly could
>came inside her
>came so hard I thought my dick exploded
>came so hard that I actually felt sick, like all the energy got sucked out of me. Had to go have a meal

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>>726518723
>Well, I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

The first time I had sex with my ex gf.
>Her; Pale, tall, extremely skinny, flat chest, red hair, goth.
>She smelt like angels ought to smell
Anyways, I really don't like vaginas, and the first time we were fooling around, I went to put my hand down the front of her pants, and she was on her period. I told her "there's another way" and than she bent over and pulled down her pants. I thought I was just going to finger it, not full on dick an extremely tight ass, it was hard to get in, she loved it.

>>726517266
Probably when my ex-girlfriend spontaneously sat on my face. I am basically a pervert with a facesitting fetish who adores pussy more than anything, also have a submission streak. I still wank over this 2 years after we broke up.

>>726519681
>I really don't like vaginas

That's the kind of thing faggots say. Fucking assholes is the kind of thing faggots do. You're a faggot.

>>726519681
for some reason i don't believe this

>>726519759
Cool, I'll continue to be a faggot for women? Carry on

>>726517266
My second time jacking off.
First time was a wet squib. Didn't know that I had to keep jerking. Number two was a few weeks later - came so hard that I nearly passed out. Dizzy, balls hurt, kept cumming and cumming AND CUMMING... felt completely high for a few hours afterwards, balls still hurt.

It was my birthday. I came home from work and my girlfriend called out from inside our apartment asking if I was alone. She walked out into our living room wearing my trenchcoat. She opened it up revealing that she was wearing a too small schoolgirl outfit with fishnet stockings and a pair of those knee-high boots with huge chunky soles like something KISS would wear. Her eye makeup was heavy and black because she knew I want to make it run down her cheeks while I fuck her face. I fucked her in every hole and slapped her around for the rest of the day while she dirty talked about what a disgusting pedo and child molester I am and told me I could fuck her mommy and all her little girl friends from school.

>>726519837
K.

>>726517266
Took a 10/10's virginity. I was amazing she was 17 and I was 18, she was amazing in bed.

Everything about her was perfect

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>>726519235
never said a word to you prior? that's impressive.

i take it she was average looking? even so, that's an epic moment

>>726519355
and there was no alcohol involved??

Wouldn't say most satisfying, but surely some that are memorable.

>sex with gf (now ex)
>not on birth control so must use condom.
>condoms suck, dont feel shit, even though i had a thin one
>fucking her from behind, but due to precum the inside of my condom is lubed better than the outside.
>want to go deep, condom doesnt.. it rips.
>Holy fucking warm pussy
>dont tell her just keep fucking her hard
>blow a huge load inside her
>pull out and act like I only then found out about the broken rubber.

>>726519733
spontaneously like when you were just watching tv?

>>726519837
I also came in her ass 3 times a day or more for years, miss her so much.

>>726519532
what do I look like to you? A millionaire?

>>726520060
>virgin
>amazing in bed

...

>>726519733
I tell my fiancee she can do this whenever, she never does. I dont even ask for BJ in return, she just doesnt dare to take initiative.

>>726520731
>>amazing in bed

Step 1 - insert penis
Step 2 - remove penis

It's not exactly rocket surgery. Anyone can do it.

>>726520213
That's the worst (or best) part. No alcohol, and when we went to get some, it was past the 2am cut off to buy it in stores. Had to wait until 6am, so we "wasted time" until then.

>>726520927
rocket surgery. kek

>>726520927
If that's what you consider "amazing" then you're really in for a treat when you're with somebody who knows what they're doing.

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>>726517266
>On a hike and 3rd date with a qt. Haven't had sex with her before.
>Find a place off the trail near a little river
>It's probably around 4pm when we start kissing
>Clothes start coming off
>I pick her up and hold her while fucking
>End up sliding into a tree, fucking against the tree for a while (we're both naked now)
>Slowly sliding down the tree till on the ground
>Completely lose track of time
>It's pitch-black out now, but still at it.
>Fucked for almost 4 hours straight.
>I nutted 3 times, but can't go back to back so stuck to fingers inbetween.
>We were together for 3 yrs after that.

She was built just like pick related

>Used to drive limo.
>Around 21 at the time.
>Was driving for a group of girls. Was the one girls 17th birthday. Took them to dinner and cruising around. Then back to the bday girls acreage for a party.
>They were all over me the whole time. Drunk teenagers. Some were 18.
>Especially this one chick. Brunette. Straight up 10. She was so fucking hot.
>She just kept coming to the front and talking to be while I was driving. Asked me my age. I asked hers. She was 18 as of 3 weeks prior.
>Anyways. Fast forward.
>Ended up dropping them off and started driving away. Got a few blocks away when that chick popped up through the divider to the back.
>She had quietly waited in the back and I had not even noticed her. She told me to pull over, so I figured she fell asleep back there and wanted out.
>I walked to the back passenger door and by the time I walked back and opened the door there she was completely topless sitting infront of the door facing me.
>All she said was come here.
>I ate her out like I missed dinner. I did mind you. I was pretty hungry.
>She slobbered my cock like it was cake.
>After all the foreplay, I threw her down and slid deep inside her with force.
>The look on her face. I can still see it.
>She was so tight.
> Meanwhile her friends are calling and texting wondering where she was.
>We ended up pulling up in the limo to her friends house a good 2-3 hours later.
>Should have seen her friends faces. Hahah
>That was a good night.

>>726521057

Ah, then there's a mysterious 3rd step somewhere between the inserting and removing of the penis that I am not aware of.

>>726517266
Taking a bbc bareback. No regrets. Loved every inch.

>>726521161
It would appear that there's a lot you're not aware of.

>>726521180
Begone, Jew shill.

>>726520981
that just goes to show how sexuality is its own intoxication

>>726519373
Backpage is still alive and well...you just have to go to the women seeking men section. just as many hookers as ever.

>>726521423
Totally was. We were all thinking with our various genitalia that night.

>>726517266
True story:

Woke up with a VERY sore cockand felt very drained and happy. Delicately walked to bathroom and saw a very purple shaft with slightly bleeding ring of teeth marks just below the yellow. I asked the wife to wake up and look at it. She said she was very tired and her jaw was strangely stiff. When she saw my cock, she was wide awake then! She had given me the longest, hardest blowjob ever, while both of us were asleep! And swallowed it all!

Every step I took hurt a lot and was very arousing, a lot of erections. Made work difficult for a while. The purple bruising took weeks to heal.

A few months later we found out why she did this - a form of epilepsy. She's on meds now - no more all night blowjobs.

>>726521126
i can believe that on some level, but only because I've heard amy schumer (no she's not a 10/10) tell the story of how, at 19, she drunkenly made a random old cabbie finger her.

>>726517831
any pic?

>>726521484
>being sincere
thanks for the lifehack, anon

>me 17
>her 17
>her best friend had a party
>turned up had a few
>chatted up my gf best friends mum
>she's drunk laughs it off
>end up out front of house
>boxers down sat on bench
>gf decides giving blow job
>best friend and mom watch
>bust a nut in her mouth
>bf looks shocked
Then about 2 weeks later we had 3some with said friend her first time

>>726520927
The empathy of a sociopath, touche

>>726521963

I mean he's right. put penis in. extract penis. rinse repeat. that's sex. that's how you nut. everything else is just extra.

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cousin blew me and let me cum on her face. i dont think ive cum harder
>pic related

>>726521669
ouch,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dOsbsuhYGQ

>>726517266
fapping

> was dating this really really cute 14 >year old.
>we had kind of messed around a >few times.
>came over one night while her >parents were gone.
>bummed to see she had a friend >there
>thought there was no way I was >getting lucky
>she must have been trying to >impress her friend because she >was begging to have sex
>I didn't wanna make her friend a >third wheel so I kept saying no
>watching a movie with them
>go to the restroom
>come out and she's waiting outside >the door
>grabs my crotch
>gets on her knees
>takes out my cock
>commences a bj that's far better >than most experienced girls I've >been with.
>can still close my eyes and picture >it perfectly
>braces.jpeg
>she moans in pleasure while >slobbering on my cock
>get on bed
>start fucking
>rides me cowgirl for around 20 min
>in love

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>>726522176
if true....

>>726522176
i want my cousin to love me that way

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>>726522384
yup

>>726522428
we were high and drunk

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>>726522520

>>726521678
Does it sound like I am old? As I said. I was 21 at the time. I'm 27 now btw. She may not have been a 10 for everyone. Everyone's tastes are different. But she was definitely one of the hottest I've been with, and I am a fairly fit attractive guy who rarely has a problem picking up women.

I was also not a cabbie. This is in Canada. Typically limos in Canada are high end and not thrown into the same category as cabs like in the USA. We typically charge $200-300 an hour. Unless its a scabby Lebanese limo.

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Well, I fuck escorts whenever I travel, so I've had a lot of great times. I'd say the one that stands out the most though, was this one girl in Amsterdam.

Romanian girl, used to do porn, though only did like 10 scenes. Now, I've had a lot of great blowjobs, but this shit was on another level. She made me cum 3 times with just her mouth. She could do crazy shit like deepthroat me all the way down and lick my balls while my cock was in her throat. Also fucked her ass and pussy in a bunch of positions. She was something special.

Pic is related

>>726521678
>>726522877
Btw. Misread yours. Saw you weren't calling me old. Haha. But ya shit like this happened to me quite often in my 5 years or so of driving limo.

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getting caught dressed as a girl with a plug in my ass by my half-chinese man-hating housemate. Turned out she was crazy into the idea of traps and crossdressers and she pegged the shit out of me in front of a mirror

>>726523142
Seriously, why are there so many faggots on /b/? I mean statistically, it's incredibly anomalous.

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>>726517266
>match on Tinder
>9/10
>perfect, perky tits
>size 00, just insane body
>go to her place
>really hit it off, actually good conversation
>watch hockey and drink whiskey neats till the morning
>she leads me to her room
>typical foreplay, fast forward
>I'm on top after she cums a few times from on top
>"anon, choke me until I pass out. Then slap me awake as you're about to cum so I can cum too"
>wtf.png
>Drunk af, fuck it
>held her neck so tight I thought I was going to snap it
>she passes out, I get so fucking turned on I slap her immediately awake and flip her over to doggy
>bust the biggest fucking nut of my life inside her
>she's legit screaming for half a minute
>she falls asleep with my cum dripping out face down
>just pass out next to her

Best sex I ever had, hands down. She moved away the next week, I'm was (still am) in medical school so long distance wasn't an option.

>>726517266
>Be 20
>best friends gf's house
>girl has milf/10 mom
>Start going over more and more
>Start a job
>At orientation
>Girl brings in a piece of paper. Is "anon" here? I think your mom left this for you
>"her name and number" "call me"
>She brought over some dewarfs scotch
>I fucked that 52 year old pussy like it owed me money
>We kept this up for about two years.
>I would go to her masseuse office to get a massage and make her moan so people would hear her

Not exactly one experience, but I'll never forget the reason why I have a milf fetish.

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>>726519266
She told that same thing to her fortieth.

>>726517266
Had a friend come to stay for a few days. While she was out of the house I violated her privacy, rooted through her things and found some used panties. Jacked myself silly with them, sniffing them without her permission felt so good. Best thing I ever did.

Hanging out with my boss and my developing hotwife. Encouraging her to fool around with him while getting everyone drunk. Demanding we all hang in the hot tub. I go to get every round of beers. Peek out the window every time to watch him fingering her. Keep untying her bikini so he can see her naked. Eventually "go to bed" and send her to smoke in just a tshirt. Watch him put his fingers, a cigar, a beer bottle, and finally his cock in her pussy. He busts inside her then I do too when she comes to bed.

>>726522985
moar pics?

>>726523377
I blame /gif/, I started going there for Remy gifs and ended up sucking a stranger off in a dress

Had a 3 year relationshit before with crazy girl, mental issues etc. but nice tits and regular fucks i didnt complain. But too crazy had to bail

My next gf was one of those 'have to stay virgin till marriage'
Handjobs blowjobs and all that play is okay for her.
Had a 3 year relationshit before with crazy girl, mental issues etc. but nice tits and regular fucks i didnt complain.

>Do this for about a year, she's the sweetest so yea I figured I might see it through.
>keep track of her cycle so we dont fool around too much when its a definite no-go zone down there
>one day we're fooling around regular tease and all
>snuggle up to her half scissor
>diamonds poking at her clit, I notice she likes it
>grab my rod and start rubbing my head up and down her clit, shes loving it
>rub down a little further, SOAKING wet my head just slides in no problem.
She's tight asian, im above average size caucasian.
>she moans a bit i look at her face, best look so horny
>Im leaking a lot, shes soaking, i slide my dick in a little further
>"Just a little bit of the head is no problem right?"
>She agrees, I push a little further shes not resisting
>slowly move around a little shes moaning a bit.
>say "Im pretty sure it would slide right in your tight wet pussy."
>her "No way, your two fingers are the most i've had in there and they barely fit,
>push a little more, "does this hurt"?
>her "No, but im pretty sure it won't fit yet, you're huge
(her perspective, but then again shes only 5'3/5'4)
>Slide my dick back out, use my hand to get all that good pussy juice on there, make it nice and wet.
>Push it a little further.
>Ask "Where do you think it'll start hurting"
>She wiggles around a bit and slides her tight pussy a little further over my dick, she looks really focussed like expecting pain to come.
>There's no pain im now a little more than head in.
>shes looking surprised that there's no pain yet, just feels good.
>Her horny face is back, she kisses me
>... (comment getting too long)

>>726523653
ditavip.com -- she has a gallery on her site.

Got a phone call at work from ex girlfriend telling me to come home immediately because she had a cucumber in cider. She knew I fucking LOVE pickles. I was on a high all the way home. I'm still traumatised by what she was doing with it but safe to say it was the biggest disappointment of my life. Filthy bitch. I honestly couldn't bring myself to eat it.

>>726521484
Yeah, but how do you know hookers aren't cops? Is that shit mostly just on TV and not real life?

>>726524544
If you get them to come to your house, you'll be fine, cops won't come in your house...If you have to go to them, google their phone # and see if they have reviews online. Baiscally just don't be a retard and you'll be fine.

>>726523740
>... (continued)
>I pull her closer, she getting so wet and horny my dick slides in all the way
>she stops kissing, looks at me, YES she wants the D, she wants it nice and deep.
>I start fucking her, easy at first slowly building up.
>her first time, shes so arroused she asks me to fuck her deeper and faster
>this pussy is so fucking good im not kidding
>about 3 minutes later she's having an orgasm from fucking, he already tight pussy clenches my dick, best feeling ever!
>I pull out and blast a huge load that she was not expecting
nor was I but that's what you get from fucking such good pussy after about a year and a half of not having any.
>my load hits her in the face, hair, and all over her body.
>drop down on the bed beside her
>look at her face
>she has this look saying "wtf do i do with this cum on my face" hilarious look.
>I burst into laughter, she does too.
>Be a gentleman and get a towel for her to clean up.
>On the ride to her place she asks, "wait.. does this mean I'm not a virgin anymore"
>noshitsherlock.jpeg
>I tell her not to worry, that was great, im not letting this one go, ever.

2+ years have passed since, we're engaged now.

>>726525030
This. Or go on vacation to a country that isn't retarded about prostitution.

You can go to Europe and fuck 10s for relatively little money, and its 100% legal.

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fucked my hair dresser in the back of the salon. best fucking bj ive ever had.

pic related

>>726519973

Sounds amazing.

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fucked this little face in our 2nd date

>>726520927
I think someone is still a virgin

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dated a girl a few years ago who was a virgin. the night she agreed to have sex, she went whimpering in pain to moaning in pleasure. all of it made me harder than ive ever been, fuck.

>>726520876

Same here. It's like she wants me to look on for another woman. Fuck me.

>>726517266
I had a really good blowjob from my sister's bridesmaid after her engagement party. That was pretty satisfying because she was much older than me so it felt like a big accomplishment to me.
If not that the first time I did anal with my fwb I felt like a complete man.

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Gave me the best handjob

In the shower, ex rarely gave blowjobs and sure never let me cum on her above the tits. Shes super horny playing with the shower head. Asking me to grab her tits hard, she sucks my cock. Shes about to cum and screaming and moaning. Opens her mouth and begs me to cum in it..

Dont have to ask twice.

Blow a huge load and she swallows.

Now she has the taste for it..
Continues to suck me til i bust in her mouth again.

That was the best, i'll never forget the moment she turned from hating it into a cum hungry slut for a moment.

>>726526384
You got to love a girl who can give a nice old fashioned.

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>meet a girl who likes bondage and stuff
>get known to her
>get a few drinks at a bar
>end up at her place
>has stuff for tying her up
>get her tied up to the bed
>best bdsm sex ever
>deepthroats
>loves it rough
>couldn't stop cumming over her face
>pic related

>>726522336
how old were you at the time?

>>726527779
barely legal...

>>726517266

> meet colombian girl through tinder

> hit it off

> be fucking

> she's about to cum and says something about a towel

> tell her nah baby its kay

> she squirts all over, soaking the mattress

> worth it

>>726517266
When I nutted so hard I had an out of body experience and saw my orgasm from the perspective of one the sperm in my seminal fluid as it journeyed down my Fallopian tubes and into the tip of a Trojan Ecstasy condom, only to join all of the other sperm in swimming in all directions in a crazed frenzie and finally loosing strength as the condom was tied off and dying slowly at the bottom of a trash bin.
I then returned to my body, and she was in the middle of telling me to "get the fuck off" of her.
I'll never forget it.

>>726517266
any more of girl in OP?

>>726528311
So you basically let a chick piss all over you and your bed?

>Dating a 16 year old blonde with 32D tits in highschool for two months
>She's a lifeguard and shaves regularly
>On birth control because of her period
>Gone as far as oral and making out naked but haven't started fucking
>She regularly lets me touch her in school a little bit
>Spend an entire day copping feels of her tits and ass every time I see her and the teachers aren't looking
>Go to laser tag for a club event that evening, keep touching her
>Be on opposite teams, be really aggressive when its just us, bumping up on her her biting her lip while kissing then going away
>she's almost hyperventilating whenever it happens
>Tell her to get naked in the car while I drive her home, pussy is soaking wet.
>Finger her and pinch her nipples the whole drive
>Pull off on the side of the road before getting to her house
>she practically tears my clothes off before dragging me to the back
>Making out like crazy and rubbing pussy all over my cock
>Gets on top and moans "fuck it" before grabbing my dick and sliding down onto it
>gasps and lies on top of me for a moment then starts grinding as hard as she can
>tight as fuck and I can barely think
>Cum so hard my whole body convulsed

dated her for almost two years after that, fucked like rabbits the whole time. Still fantasize about her constantly

>accidentally get liquid soap in my dickhole
>oh god it burns
>peeing doesn't make it go away
>itchy all day
>see girlfriend later
>nut hard inside and groan loudly in relief
>finally
>she's like "that must have been good"
>did what it needed to do

>>726518325
who are these neckbeards that come up with this shit...

>>726517266
check em, sex the day before new years eve in Paris at this hot woman's loft. it was really nice, makes me miss European women. so much better than American women

Spending every night for 2 months baked and getting blown/fucked for about three hours per night every night.

She was the best lay and she was fucking insatiable, three orgasms deep and I'll be passing out and she'd be beneath the blankets blowing me into unconciousness

>>726529716
you're a faggot literally die

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The first time that my dom made me wear my gf's panties to his place where he fucked me over and over, dumping load after load into my ass while my gf's panties were around my knees.

Pic related. From that night.

>>726529908
Another faggot. Fantastic.

>>726525161
her initials SM?

>>726531156
nope

>met as freshmen in HS
>she ended up moving away at 15
>came back to town and was working in same restaurant
>were 21/22 and she was one of those girls who always hung out with older guys
>guess shed been on a dry spell
>has a buddy drive her to my place on friday night
>made it known shes was there for me
>2 of my friends there bail
>buddy who drove her is passing out and calls a cab to bail
>we put him in car
>a little handsy
>get inside on couch
>most intense kissing ever
>almost hit front teeth
>coulda licked the back of her molars
>say we should go to bed before roommate catches up in living room as bars were almost out
>shes on top of me kissing and runs her hand down the inside of my jeans
>get a handful of my dick just grinning now still on top
>roll her over
>get her naked to lick that slit
>perfect bald pussy
>light stubble
>only ate her out for a minute before she wanted the fucking
>really trying
>"your fucking the shit outta me"

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Noobs

>I was only nine years old
>I loved Shrek so much, I owned all the movies and merchandise
>I pray to Shrek every night, thanking him for the life I have been given
>"Shrek is love", I say, "Shrek is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Shrek
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to my room
>I am crying now, because my face hurts
>I go into my bed and it is very cold
>I feel a warmth moving towards me
>I fell something touch me
>It's Shrek
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear, "This is my swamp"
>He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek
>He penetrates my butthole
>It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek
>I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Shrek
>He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
>My dad walks in
>Shrek looks him deep in the eyes and says, "It's all ogre now"
>Shrek leaves through my window
Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

>>726532414
CLOSE THE THREAD, SHREK CAME

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>>726517564

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>>726518325

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>>726532009
>kept going for a while
>she get on top
>most athletic and coordinated fucking ive ever got
>had a bed on metal frame with wheels
>never again
>she using the momentum to fuck me harder
>shes biting / sucking my neck simultaneously
>feel hickies hapening but no fucks given, feels too good
>digging her nails in my back holding on for her life
>the bed is literally moving 4-5 inches and getting slammed into the wall at a rate of about 2 beats/sec
>pretty sure i blacked out
>morning bj
>fuck her with my dick pulled through my shorts
>she hotdogs me
>best lapdance ever
>fucking her on her back f2f
>her hand creeps up my chest
>she puts it on my throat
>i was never so scarred and turned on
>put my hand round her neck
>kept fucking
>finish railing her missionary while i got a handful of her hair
>we leave room
>roommate looks like she could heard everything
>she did
>doesnt tell me i cant have company over but not like that again

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>>726517564

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>>726517266
I was 17 and fucked a girl in her brothers room i later found out he was watching. I will never forget her.

>>726517831
Women like guys who can hold down a job

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>Got lonely
>Called Backpage girl
>Called most normal looking white girl
>Lived ten minutes away
>She comes over
>Ad said she's 24
>Reveals she's 33
>Wants $150 for an hour
>Agree
>Do the sex
>Only lasted about 20 minutes
>She cuddled up to me and watched TV with me
>She grabs my junk
>Looks at me asks what I do for a living
>Tell her I'm a line cook at a local restaurant
>She rubs my shit some more
>She dozes off
>Her alarm goes off
>She said my hour was up and she had to go
>Texts me the next day
>Says she wants to know if I'm interested in seeing her again
>I said when I had more money
>She says come over anyway
>She bought groceries right before I got there
>I walk in
>She said my only "donation" was to cook for her
>I make basic bitch Alfredo because she didn't have decent spices
>Eat dinner and go to living room
>Curl up on couch and fuck
>This goes on for a few more months
>MFW I got paid with sex by a hooker for being her personal chef

The first time I had sex with my best friend's wife.

>>726533983
tell story

Hmm I did one time have a 3 way with my gf and our mutual friend in my gfs car,

I think that and losing my virginity were the best 2 moments

>edge for 3 hours
>cum

i am a virgin

>>726533983
>>726534415
>He travels a lot for work
>We all hang out, play games, drink.
>She would get bored and lonely while he was gone.
>I would go over and hang out when he was out of town as "safe company".

>>726534774
how did the threeway happen? And how did it go inside of a car? Can be pretty cramped with just two people

was bored one day and found a hands free orgasm hypnotism video on YouTube. was a little skeptical at first but was tranced and right when the chick snapped I came buckets all over myself

>>726517564
was all good until "fell asleep holding each other"
>what are u fucking gay

>>726535197
it was a 4 door toyota corolla, 2016
It was cramped, at first we werent sure how it was going to work out.

to preface, all 3 of us had tried to do a 3 way but gf wasnt ready for it, now she was buzzed after several drinks and friend was tipsy but not disoriented. We all agree to do 3 way but just dont put it inside friend because she is still emotionally attached to ex. ok,

scoot all the chairs forward, gf goes down on friend, I hang out on side and make out with friend and we made it work out, worst part was getting undressed,

was in winter, it was kind of funny though because all the windows fogged up so no one could see inside

>>726535077
>One night we were hanging out, drinking and watching Netflix.
>She got us a fresh round and sat right next to me.
>We started talking about my love life, not much going on there.
>She starts telling me that she feels alone all the time.
>I start to feel kind of attracted to her.
>I try to sympathize with her. Tell her she's great and gorgeous and my friend knows how lucky he is.

>>726522520
So? post more pls?

>>726517266
In my early twenties, I fucked my married step sister for about a year. That was pretty cool.

>>726535948
I wish I remembered all the details
>I know she put her hand on my leg.
>I'm pretty sure I initiated the first kiss.
>I got rock hard instantly
>She grabbed my cock through my pants.
>I reached down her pants and grabbed her ass.
>She undid my pants, pulled my cock out >I pulled her top off and played with her little tits.
>She sucked me for a little while.
>I stopped her, are her out until she came.
>She rode my dick until I got close, then sucked and jerked me until I came on her.

>>726517266
happened in 2001
>fucked my cousin's fiancee in front of him after finding out he was an abusive shit, but also found out he was into anal play. complete twink, beautiful ass etc. started recording it on her computer.
>wouldn't let him leave the room, drug him over, made him eat my cum out of her
>lubed him up and fucked him while he proceeded to eat her out.
>kept this up for a few months until we got tired of it, moved her out and in with me.
>couple years pass, he's with a new girl
>we make amends and become friendly again, wife and her get along great, clearly interested in eachother
>find out he is doing it again after a few months
>take her aside, tell her about him doing it before, a plan forms
>show up unannounced one night, he was drunk, in the process of beating her.
>i deck his ass, we get her to take pictures, start recording with phone camera
>wake him up, he admits to hitting her without realizing the camera was going
>inform him thusly
>make him watch as my wife fucks her in front of him, they finish up, she comes up and kisses me at the same time as my wife.
>they leave, i make it very clear what would happen if he touched her again
to this day they are happily married with two kids and he has yet to go postal. when he does, he will find out that i have a CC license and he cannot legally own firearms. the wives still hookup occasionally and i get to watch.

>>726533657
more stories

>>726537239
LOL, sure you did, boss.

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>>726537004