Confess your sex crimes

I fuck bananas. No really.

I never had sex and never will.
Every day I wait for the law men to come for me.

catfished my best friends wife into sending nudes to me. have catfished about 20 girls that i know or from my town.

I had a girlfriend who was a few years younger than me when I was in college. I was fully sexually active and had my own place and everything so I figured the girls I dated were dtf. We were seeing each other for a couple months, no sex yet, and she came over to my house and we were making out in my room and I ended up tittyfucking her. I thought it was all good but then after we broke up I found out through a mutual friend that she thought I moved too fast and that it freaked her out.

I've felt pretty guilty about if for a long time.

Tried to fuck a statue on my neighbours lawn when i was a kid. Looking back, it was a statue of holy mary

i raped a pug

I've been married 8 years and have never fucked anyone other than my wife. She accused me of cheating 2 weeks ago and have fucked 7 escorts, my 2 college ex's and a high school ex.

>>725320399
Wat

>>725319616
Post some of that shit

>>725320399
English you fuck face.

>>725319125
I caught a 14 foot alligator, taught it to rape things. Gave it a pound of cocaine and turned it loose on The Joker in his apartment. I'm The Batman.

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>>725320611
>>725319616
best friends wife

>>725319616
wanna do one for me?? its a friends gf

>>725321290
sure! email me at [email protected] i'll help!

my brother and I look similar. one night we were all partying and we all got pretty drunk. my brother passed out and his gf was blackout drunk. i walked in on here in a room alone and she blew me thinking i was my brother. came all over her!

>>725319125
Nothing really major, when I was in highschool I remember one time on the bus the way home the bus was packed and this group of 3 girls were real close to me one having her back towards me, nobody understood what was going on and the bus was bumpy, as it keeps on bumping and stuff like that I got closer to the point that my cock was right against her sweet juicy bubbly butt, I was wearing sweat pants too me and her class used to have sports together, she kept on turning around sometines looking at me but I'd always look away acting like I got no idea what's going on, fuck her ass was so nice soft and bubbly I almost came the way home I was rock hard she was teasing me aswell, she kept on rubbing it against me the little slut knew what she was doing which turned me on so much knowing that she'd always be quiet and shit like that, my friend kept on trying to talk to me but I didn't care that's all that I was foncused on, guys that was honestly so hot I almost came in my pants.

>>725322708
dude i feel like we've all done something like that at least once in our life lol

>>725321052
moar

I did not actually commit the crime but going through legal trouble for supposedly putting my dick on another guy in a bathroom

>>725322708
Man fucking fire drills were the thing for me, chick who was always infront of me in the register would rub her ass on my dick, we ended up fucking and dating for a few years but man was it embarrassing having a boner infront of literally the whole school every fire drill

>>725319616
catfishman?

Fuck it, I guess I'm semi notorious for saying just the most retarded shit during sex, my dumbest moment was during a drunken one night thing with a coworker, right whilst she was sucking my dick it came into my head to say "having fun are we" came out in this retardedly aggressive British accent. Scared te shit out of her but I came so w/e

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>>725319125
>Confess your sex crimes

Technically I'm the victim because I guilted my mom into blowing me before I deployed to Iraq.

She didn't want to, but was worried that she'd never see me again.

She won't even talk about it now and has smacked my hand off her bum whenever I've reached for it since.

>>725323888
yes? have a question?

>>725324399
>yes? have a question?

do you have a technique(s) that you use?

I'd LOVE to get a few sloots to send me noodz.

>>725324234
is she hot?

>>725324678
email me [email protected] i'll help you

Went to jail for a night after being caught taking upskit pics of a 15yo girl at a festival

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1. Got a slow girl to blow me by convincing her that I was interested in being her bf.

2. Stalked the shit out of a hot teacher: obscene phone calls, drive byes, even trick-or-treated her once.

3. Rape (a very gentle one) . . . I sodomized a woman after she'd told me no backdoor 3 times . . . she didn't fight it, but no means no.

4. Fed my mom my semen (assault) . . . I used to mix her health shakes occasionally
- 8 oz skim milk
- 1 scoop of vanilla protein powder
- blueberries
- 2 ice cubes
- 1 tbsp of her grandkids

I'd watch her drink it while making chit chat then go fap again knowing that my cum was in her belly.

>>725324961

She was very pretty circa 2003 when it happened.

She has lost her looks since.

>>725325367
>>1 tbsp of her grandkids
kek

Me and 2 other friends when we were like 15 or 16 were really into dipping and chewing and one day at what we called a backerfest, where everybody would go to one guys house and just dip talk shit and have a good time, we were brainstorming on how to fuck with this 4'11 almost midget kid who would annoy the fuck out of us and never got the message that we didnt like him. eventually someone had the idea to put dog shit in can of dip and give it to him but being the unstable funny but weird in a subtle way 16 yr old i was i decided to take it up a notch and i proclaimed i was going cum in a can of dip and give it to him. we were in a basement and there was a hung up tarp onthe other side from where everyone was at so i go back there and do the deed i come back laughing my ass off just as everyone else was then another 2 of my buddys said if u did it then im gonna do it too so 3 teenager s came into a can skoal wintergreen i think it was and you could clearly tell there was some off shit with the dip it stuck together real bad and had a subtle white tint to it so we mixed it up with a stick. the next monday at school we were all in the welding shop together and midget man comes up to me and ask for a dip
>no problem bud
he takes a pretty big pinch and stuffs it into his lip as me and the other guys were holding back tears. we waited a full 30 mins until he said "this shit is too fucking juicy" and the entire groups breaks the fuck down laughing as some explains to him what he just put in his mouth.

its kinda fucked up but funny at the time

>>725320399
>>725320536
>>725320731
Learn to read you two fucks. He was accused of cheating and has since being accused while being loyal fucked others.

had consensual missionary-style sex with a legal aged woman. forgive me god for i have sinned i live with this guilt every day

>>725327220
English you fuck face.

>>725326710
wtf

I haven't committed any sex crimes

had missionary sex once

>>725319125

I've done a lot of twisted shit, but I don't think any of it rates a "crime".

Oh, I did rape my dog's mouth when I was young. That probably counts in any number of ways as a crime.

>>725321052

I know her she goes to my school i'm telling

>>725329115
oh where?

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>>725323617
>putting my dick on another guy

"still not gay"

>>725322708

what kind of fucking bus were you on that you had your dick in some grils ass??????

>bullshit

>>725329407
>"still not gay"

He must've 'no homo'd' as he touched the man with his penis.

Definitely not gay.

>>725326710
mo' redneck mo' problems

>>725319125
I've molested 2 different girls while they were drunk and passed out. One them was the mother of a friend of mine's child, and the other was a close friend who our other friends trusted me to get home safely after she had too much to drink. I don't know what came over me. It was like I couldn't help- myself.

>>725324992
have a kik anon/?

You're not safe on 4chan.

We are monitoring everything you post.

>>725328884
AND THEN YOU SPRAYED RUBBING ALC ON YOUR DICK BECAUZE YOU THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE CAUGHT DOGGY AIDS

it burned really bad but at least youre dick was clean

>>725329680
mhelling11

>>725320964
Le ebin post ecksdee

>>725330005

no, that was when an Asian whore put my dick in her mouth without a rubber. I freaked and doused my dick in listerine later. Burned the living fuck out of my dick and made it burn for weeks. but I didn't get any chinky aids.

good point. technically all of the many many whore's I've paid to fuck are technically a sex crime.

>>725319125
When I was 24, I got my gfs 16yo friend drunk and stoned so she'd let me fuck her.
Fortunately, statute of limitations has long run out, so that I may share that story.
>side note, my gf was 15 at the time

>>725329476

It was obviously the "Short Bus..."

I have secretly filmed my sister-in-law changing and showering.

>>725331904
share pics or vid? Please!