How to prep up for a street fight tomorrow with this kind of a body?

>>725262306

Jump off the highest bridge and you'll lose some weight for the fight.

Apologize, pay your way out, go home and post result on /b/

>>725262306
ask your boyfriend to stand up for you.
nice tits, now show us your pussy!

>>725262306
Damn those are some nice tiddies

Maiden form C-cup should square you off.

Simpel result, buy an arc lighter and a barbeque lighter, enlargen the propane output of the barbeque lighter and get the electric arc from the other lighter, get a steady platform for those 2 components to put on your wrist, just fizzle with the electricts and you have a small flamethrower, shoot a few flames and scare the others away, if they charge light their hair on fire, if you get in any juridical problems claim it was self defence.

>>725262306
the only way your fat ass has any chance is if you strip completely naked during the fight

>>725262306
just be sure to wear a sportsbra

>>725262555
>tiddies

That's not a word. It's titties or tittys, also tits. You're probably thinking of tendies, and I'm sure your mom will bring some downstairs for you soon enough.

>>725262306
smoke some crack and fuck that nigger up

Jesus holy shit those man tits are unreal how the fuck do you do that without hormones or straight up walmart deli mode shit.

>>725262637
He'd get mistaken for a thicc girl and they'll rape him.

>>725262306
Just sit on him fatass

>>725262637
Roll for this

>>725262306
you brought this upon yourself, who told you to sit at home allday long fapfapfap, you deserve this, haha ameripig

So how did this fight supposedly start anyway?

You probably outweigh your opponent. Keep your distance , stay on your feet , dont exert any energy . When you see a chance to step in and grab shim , do and dont let go . Commence ass pounding

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>>725263210

Skip out say u went to the wrong street, nobody showed up

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>>725262306

>>725262306
Wear a bra.

buy tyrone and friends some weed so they jump in when you get titty fucked.

>>725262306
>get a pimp
>give titjobs ror cash
>pay your pimp
>pimp fights your bully 'cause he's got to look after his main hoe

>>725262306
Well since you look like a girl say you're a transgender female, now it becomes a hate crime and you'll get a ton of money.

>>725263767
His bottom bitch

>>725263767
This
Also moar hoe tails

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>>725262306

>>725262670
>he don't know what tiddies are
Are you old enough to use this website,kiddo ?

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Don't let these shitlords discourage you, one of the greatest MMA fighters of all time had this kind of body

>>725262306
Use the bra you wear for you tits lol

>>725263957
LOL this

>>725262306
Wear a bra

Can u even see ur own cock? Better question: can we see it? Post pics of it

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Is 22-13 in UFC, and has a granite chin.
just give yourself a chance.

>>725264404
And a metric shit ton of stamina, somehow

Bring a gun

Take it to the ground straight away.

>>725262306
Play Street Fighter to practice

>>725262306
Screw all the haters. You'll get a short power boost by doing just this.
>go out run for like a km
>watch a few boxing tutorials or MMA fights and remind how each punches or tricks are used
>try and take the hard variant push-ups(diamond pushups)
>have dumbells? Do curls. If no, just take some heavy weight like a chair and lift it 50 times.
>Never eat anything sugary until then
>Try to follow this routine even after the fight and daily until you be really fit.
Thank me later. Good luck.

Make sure to wear a sports bra so your tits don't get injured flopping around.

>>725262306
Dude seems to be not replying because of the shame he's in now. He needs to be ashamed of himself because this instance maybe the start of his fitness journey. Good luck on the fight OP.

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>>725262306
Smother him

>>725262306
take a hit of acid about 2 hours before the fight
you'll be impervious to pain and have the strength of 10 men

idiot, bring a gun, after shooting, run, it helps furn fat, 2 stone 1 crab

I'm so jealous of that body, I wouldn't have to pay for breast implants to complete my transition >.<

>>725262306
Act as much of a faggot as possible so he won't fight you. Strip naked and try to shit in your hands

>>725262306 are you a guy or a girl i cant tell by your boobies

>>725262306
Buy a sports bra.

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Just put on your warface

>>725262306
learn to cover your head when they start kicking you laying down

>>725262306
esy. don't go exercise instead. you fatass.

>>725264138
>>725264404
This fucker trains everyday and has experience in fighting. OP is just a beta keyboard warrior, do you guys even know the difference?

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I have titties too.

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>>725262306

you have nice titties for a little boy

>>725262306
your only chance is to just run them over and clash them into a wall with your whole mass over and over again

>>725262306
wear a pushup bra and when you get swung on lift your shit and flash your tits

they will be confused and aroused

make your escape

>>725262306
Like a ksena

Choose your destiny:
Be a fag, run and live.
Be a semi-fag, fight and die.
Be a ultra-fat, move into another city and model for bras.

you die

>>725262306
>Start by cleaning your body head to toe. A good shower with lots of soap.
>Apply antiperspirant, not deodorant, you want to stay dry, to most of your body, with special attention to your groin, underarms, and any folds or creases where moisture can build up.
>dress in loose layers. three or four shirts and two to three pants.
>clean socks and comfortable shoes or boots that give good support.
>Next, get a good, thick jacket. gloves, and extra socks and underwear. Pack all of them in a backpack or rucksack
>leave town

>>725266575
xddd

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Work on presenting your side boob.

>>725262306
One day not enough junior. You need to let him kick your ass this time, it'll build more respect the next time when you kick his.

You obviously have the size advantage. Use it, put your weight behind your punches and FINISH IT QUICK because your fat ass will tire quickly.

I know. I have been in the same boat

>>725266030
kek

OP are you a lot bigger than the other kid?

>>725267173
Most convincing trap in existence. I had to triple take and only then I just noticed

I used to be a fat kid before heroin took it's toll. Anyways I started out as a fucking pussy because people used to call me a fat tub of goo and shit. I was scared.

I got into a fight and my strength from lugging around that girth was much, much more of the average kid. I beat up a few kids and gained confidence.

Do the same op but stay off the heroin

>>725262306
buy a gun

>>725262306
>It's all about the ground game brother. Take him to ground and fucking sit on him, then bash his fucking face in. Your weight will pin him down, even restrict his breathing while you beat the fuck out of him with gorilla style slam punches.

>>725267488
Careful not to kill him and stop when the other guy passes out

ITT some serious gyno action

>>725262306
nice gyno

OP just give a good account of yourself. Win lose or draw it will make other kids think twice before fighting

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>>725262637

>>725267742
So many questions. How is one of them naked? Why?? WTF

>>725267742
And people wonder why whites kept them in zoos a hundred years ago...

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>>725262306
you need one of these

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>>725263957
This

>>725262306
tuck your dick between your legs and give him a tit wank.

>>725266030
>Underrated post

His name is Robert Paulson

>>725269471
His name was Robert Paulson

>>725266198
Correct.
Also kek

>>725266665
So fuckin close jej

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>>725270418
https://youtu.be/JgLkdth62eI?t=2m8s

>>725262306
pull out your straight razor, I hear that's the goto weapon of the transexuals

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>>725262306
Dress up as a dog, faggot

>>725262306
Wear a push up bra.

>>725262306
jesus fuck and I was ashamed of my man tits but yours look legit like a woman's.

i'm going to keep doing some pushups so i don't end up like this.

>>725266666
Where are you?

>>725262306
Someone turn this into pepe

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>>725262306
give me somewhere to send these pdf books to you and you might have a chance. I recommend USMC grappling and hand to hand combat. If you actually read threw you might learn how to defend yourself Fatty.

>>725273661
hold on a second

>>725265313
Yea what he said

Squirt milk in his face with those tig ol bitties

>>725262306
you have the weight advantage, just ram into him, american footbal style, ram your shoulder into his stomach, lift him up and throw him on the ground. then sit on top of him but make sure to be on his belly, above his legs and just smash his face. with your weight its possible and this would make him completely incapable of defending himself if he didint had any kind of some MMA type of training.

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Dreckschweine ... 6 Monate Dauer Beschallung

>>725262306
Use your weight to your advantage, don't chase, punish mistakes. I won plenty of fights as a fat kid at school

>>725273829
ARE YOU DOING IT? ARE YOU DOING IT. PLEASE FUCKING DO IT. THE RAREST OF PEPES RIGHT THERE Sorry for the caps. I'm excited

Do what I do. I black out and go berserker.

>worst that will happen is you might kill the other kid if there's no by standers

>>725262306
Eazy m8. Just take off your shirt, and scram about asphyxiation while running to tackle him. If you succeed in tackling him, continue to balance your belly of jelly over his face for at least 2 minutes. Once he stops moving is your que to stop. As you stand, you are resistant from headlocks, and body blows. Protect your head at all costs, for it will be soft with flab. Wear a helmet like some special needs child, and chase him like a fucking retard. If he is not frightened by your approach, then proceed to the plan stated before.

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>>725274365
BEHOLD MY SHITTINESS

>>725262306
>HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US >HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US

>>725274447
He can't keep up the chase his stamina is low due to the lard build up. Also the kid will be able to briskly walk away while this walrus of a child tumbles toward him, special needs hat and all. New tactics must be discussed

>>725274519
All you need to do is line up the original next to it and post. voila a new meme is born

>>725274649
I apologize for my idiocy sir. I recomend instead, that he take his shirt off, and cover his body in an oil of some kind (If he doesn't produce enough on his own). No man is fool harted enough to challenge an oil soaked walrus. If they do continue. The large man may strangle him with the non-newtonian forces of his body. His body fat flows like a liquid to fill any opening that is in range. That is his greatest advantage.

>>725262306
His name was Robert Paulson.

>>725275138
He may be able to use stealth, disguised as a Walrus and using his lubed body to slide on to reduce the noise of his approach. Maybe a stealth attack may be possible with the child warbling out a mating call of a fully grown adult walrus when in range

>>725262306
Leave town

>>725275731
I agree, that would be an advanced tactic for a stealth approach. depending upon the arena they choose to fight in. Unless it is a tile or hard wood floor, he will need another way to sneak. Dirt, sand, and concrete would not be optimal for sneaking. The oils would be removed from the man's body, and the trick is ruined. He would need to forge some lethal tusks as well. They would have to be passable as tusks, and sharp enough to be use for self defense.

>>725262306
buy a gun.

>>725276187
Plus the sheer size of this boy would make stealth nearly impossible. Does this blob of a boy possess any morphing type qualities. Like th t-1000 only with his fat goo? Is this a possibility giving the fight will be more than likely on concrete?

>>725262306
Bring a machete. Auto win.

>>725276567
I believe he has some morphing qualities, but they are untrained at most. If you see the pepe in the thread, that is a picture of the most powerful that he can turn into so far. We will have to train his body to control his large piles of cellulite in order to form protective wear. If he could have a steady heat of 400 degrees applied to the areas of fat, he could temper it to a hardness that would be more manageable. He will have to work tirelessly on the shaping and forming of his pads. When all is said and done, he will be virtually bulletproof. As previously stated, he will not be moving quickly in an conventional manor, and we need to devise a plan for how he may infiltrate without being spotted. Body paint is m first idea, he could paint on a uniform to look like some sort of police or military presence. This may draw some attention, but if done correctly, he might be able to carry a weapon to the fight, such as a baton.

>>725277353
Damn we simply do not have the time to hone his untapped blob morphing potential. I may have a quick workaround. We paint his body bright yellow, use poles to hoist his flab into a bouncy castle type shape. When the victim sees a free bouncy castle our charge can simply envelop him whole. However there may be massive child casualties

>>725277353
Also there is a danger that his blob lard becomes self aware after training it to morph thus endangering life as we know it on Earth.

>>725263210
>ameripig
I'm from The UK

>>725262306
wear a dress and make up and just suck your opponent off. when he is lying back basking in the afterglow, punch him right in the cock then poke him in the eyes and beat him senseless.

>>725278785
If you pay me money I will fuck this prick up good and proper for you. I live in Birmingham

>tfw have gynocomastia
>have had it since highschool
>throughout army (weighed 155lbs) still had it
>surgery is "cosmetic"
dafaq

>>725278222
KEK
that could work well. The teachers wouldn't even know that it happened. It's a great way to get away with it.

>>725278526
That is a risk I am willing to take. This man could harness the fat blobs on his body into some sort of power armor. The chances of the adipose fatty tissues being self aware is slim to none. The only way it could become self-aware is if the large man baby child were to bathe in reactive mammal milk. Thanks to his obvious resistance to lactation, I think we'll be fine.

>>725279869
We could utilize magnets. Never underestimate the power of magnets

>>725280064
This isn't a joke normie. This is a plan for the large breasted mammal to defend his body from invasion. Post here again, and I'll suck your daddy's dick.

>>725262306
Take lots of pain killers. Bring a roll of quarters and punch while holding them. Assuming you cant stab or shoot.

>>725262306
why would you ever get in a situation where you need to get in a fight anyway? are you retarded?
i think your best solution is try not to be a cunt for 5min and people will want to fight you less.

>>725262306
Call the funeral home and pick out your casket

>>725262306
I'd be happy to help. I used to do some kickboxing mostly for self defense. But my boxing coach was the former canadian champion at boxing. So to start I'd say that you can do some shadowboxing. Imagine fighting your opponent, and its not just punching thin air, you gotta combine shit like jabs and hooks and slips etc. To start off. I'd say you can start practicing your form with your offhand. The powerful hand stays behind. Knuckles at chin height, keep chin low. Your front foot is on par with your front hand. If chin height is too tiring for you you can lower them a bit, just protect your face. Now for striking. The jab is the speed, the punch is the force. To jab is simple, you wanna strike him, annoy the opponent. So the form stays simple. My coach taught me to ever so slightly lift your foot upon the ground. Lets you get there faster. Also, planting your feet on the ground will make you easier to take advantage of, so just step, walk in place a bit, keeping stance. For the arm you'd want to keep it straight and shoulder high to hide your face in any oncoming attacks from outside. Focus on speed to annoy him. Make him expect something, and decieve by standing there in fighting stance. Now for the punch. The punch is made with your strong hand, the one behind. Due to it being farther away from your opponent, he can see it in action. Unless you make him see something else, like a jab. The punch is to hurt, aim for chin, jaw, anything on the lower face. Practice these two in front of your mirror, dont make the same combinations because if you're fighting an experienced fighter, he'll expect the oncoming punches. Thats where the hooks and upercuts come in. Now these can go a variety of ways, but I like mine square and straight to the point. Starting with the hooks, these, you can do with both hands, it is modtly used for damage or knockout. So you aim for chin, jaw, and cheek. Hooks, like punches, are easy to spot
Cont

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Hope he's not hungry

>>725262690
/thread

>>725280763
Feed this to your enemy. They will no longer desire to devour your flesh.

>>725262306
Just tell him, Im fucking Harambe! Come at me bro!

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>>725281037
Forgot the documentation!

>>725263281
This is correct. Keep your guard up so you don't get walloped in the face. Wait for a chance to get in close then grab him like a retarded bear.

>>725281090
kek

>>725265313
This is one of the worst ideas in the history of bad ideas.

Cont
Now the hooks are easy spotted so I let out a few jabs before, I do them with a square angle in the elbow, so you better get close. You push your arm out quickly, and bring it completely sideways, and continue it with all your force your muscles can push. Use shoulders.
For the uppercut. You better be sure you get him distracted or you can regret it. You usually use your southpaw to really get the all the power it has. You can either let a quick one by just lowering your arm and again, keeping a 90 degree or a 120 degree if you want distance. But less power and more vulnerability. And if you want a real one. You will lower your body, and lower your stronger hand shoulder even lower, you can slightly lower your strong hand to get more power. You can also tilt your body a lttle bit more towards your powerful hand. When all that is done, you will lift your body, tilt your shoulder back, and raise it whilst lifting your arm and trying to reach the opponents chin or gut, ribs. Remember for this one its a 90 degree angle and try to channel all your power in it. It will do major damage. For blocking, simple, you raise your defending hand and put it up to your side of head, I'd say temple, keep a 70 and lower degree angle to cover most of head. That was for hooks. For jabs and punches, put knuckles at forehead height and keep slight crack to see oncoming punches.
For evades, I'd go on youtube and write "Bob and Weave tachniques"
Thanks for listening and good luck, ask questions if you have any.

>>725262670
>Autistically lecturing someone online about vocabulary
>Implying they are autistic with an overused meme

Should probably kill yourself you fucking waste

>>725262306
This is how you win every single fight in life, 100% SUCCESS CHANCE it works every time.

A day you think you are going to fight put on a G-string then when the time comes to fight you start taking off all your clothes and run at him...It's instant terror every time, no one wants to fuck with a naked dude in a g-string..You just made it a lose/lose situation for them...Extra points if you yell ''Am gonna butt fuck you'' as you're taking the clothes off. No one will fuck with you again...You are no longer worth the risk and hassle to them. This is how you stop bullying.

>>725264138
Yeah like that samoan dude

>>725262306
Show tits ×
Timestamp
State your business ×

You're fucking doing it wrong.

>>725281845
But what if that meme is brand new to anon because he hasn't bothered to lurk for even one day before posting?