ITT: We work in an office

I work in a office.

My wife is fucking niggers and I want to hang myself with the phone cord.

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>>725074475
There goes Chad microwaving fucking fish again, can we make a goddamn office policy about this?

>>725074475
Im not coming in on sunday

>>725075047
Ah, ah, I almost forgot... I'm also going to need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too. We, uhhh, lost some people this week and we sorta need to play catch-up. Mmmmmkay? Thaaaaaanks.

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>>725074475
Re: fwd, fwd, fwd, fwd, fwd, fwd

OMG!!! have you guys seen this??? i LOL'ed. i really, really, really like this image

who's the cocksucker that walked away from a K22 paper jam????? fucking savages

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>>725075235
Yeeeeaaaahh, I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday...

Remember this Sundays going to be the annual Company Picnic! Bring the whole family!

hey, i just sent you an email.

Does anyone else smell something burning?

I believe you have my stapler.

I jacked off on my female coworkers dental floss.

>>725075498
that's chad nuking his fish

>>725075498
oh my god, yeah. it might be Chad's lunch.

>>725075541
i thought i was the only one who does this. so this is what it sounds like when doves cry.

>>725075501
I believe you have my tapler

>>725075498
>>725075542
>>725075592
ALRIGHT EVERYONE REMAIN CALM, FIND THE EXITS, WOMEN AND WHITE MEN FIRST

Hi yes im from IT... ah yes i see the problem. You need to hold this key, this key and... this key.

No, yeah thats what it means by ctrl alt del on the monitor. The screen. You know the message that you read to me. Yeah that.

I picked my nose and rubbed the boogers down my cubicle wall.

Is it okay if I sexually harass my female coworkers, or is that against the rules? Is rape cool here?

>>725075678
just call Demetrius down hes got it

>>725075666
Fuck off satan

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Hey guys...just gonna...steal these office supplies...thanks

hey idiot we have flexible seating in this office, who would you leave your stuff in one place for more then on day!!!!!!

>>725075541
I usually jack off on the side of the stall in the bathroom.

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Walk past fucking Brenda's cubicle and see she's gone.
hold down ctrl alt down-arrow then walk away
spend the next 20 minutes listening to half the office trying to turn her cubicle upside down

>>725075664
Hey, so I can't come in on saturday, if the Office is burnt down, right?

Does anyone mind if I cut a glory hole into the side of my cubicle?

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>Send Junkies to molest my boss
That'll teach that bitch for sending me to HR

>>725075773
Oh, and remember: next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

>>725075972
fuck you fags i don't need premission. I'm doin it anyways

Anyone mind if I pile drive Barbs cunt on top of her desk while Rick sticks his pinkie in her ass?

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>>725076159
I don't

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OH FUCK THE MONTHLY REPORTS

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>>725074475
this like the best idea ever. teamleader of this guys.

>>725076159
Please do this in the cubicle next to mine, I'll watch from my newfound glory hole!!

>>725074632
Haha that is classic Bill

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Hey carl, the client is needing that two week look ahead for the parkway project, I need it by noon.

>fucks off til noon, then leaves for lunch

>>725076364
Careful... there may be blood.

I heard Janice is fucking Bob behind josh's back!! Scandalous

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>>725074475
GUYS SOMEBODY JUST MURDERED THE BOSS, ONE OF US MUST BE THE KILLER!

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>>725076577
Leave it to the niggers

Pam is giving gobbies in the 3rd stall of the men's room during lunch today.

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I NEED MORE FUCKING STAPLES

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>>725076577
Really? I heard Bob was fucking Josh, and Janice was fucking ugly

Why the fuck is my desk on fire?

I think I saw a gun in Steve's bag the other day, I hope he's feeling alright...

Why is there a picture of my dick on the office daily report?

>>725076948
Ever since Steve started growing his hair out, I knew this day would come. Let's just hope he doesn't do anything too-

OP sexually assaulted me last night and I thought I felt penetration, does this mean I have to file a relationship disclosure report?

Wait....who do we all work for ?

>>725077029
How do you know thats your dick Jeff?

Yeah, I'd totally turn this into a career if I knew what the hell I do.

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>>725077175
Mr. Boss clearly

>>725074475
u gotta be fucking kidding me! no offence. people actually work like this. jesus christ, talk to your boss work from home god damn it!

Guys, I just got a call from the ISP supervisor and he says he has a thousand different visits to Ex-Hentai on my computer. How do I delete this before he fucks everything up and tells my hyper feminist boss?

>>725077191
Because Pams is the only woman that i slept with and she gave me her herpe.

>>725076351
How can I approach Blind Sally without getting into conflict with the company policy on sexual harsassment?

>makes paper airplane
>throws at OP
>hits eye
Headshot!!!

>>725075498
Yeah, it's your ass.

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How do I get fired? I hate it here...gonna go join steve and do kek's will

>>725074901
Looks state of the art

>>725075956
Nope, you still have to come in on that day.

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Laura keeps walking by my cubicle and crop dusting me. Can I file a harassment report? I don't fucking care if she's pregnant.

and why are her shoe laces always tied to the side? Is she retarded?

>>725076112
It's not called "Hawaiian Shirt Day" faggot it's "Aloha Friday" get it right. Otherwise we are having a discussion when score cards come out

>>725077191
You don't know what your dick looks like?

>>725075666
So i should delete system32, right?

>>725074475
CAROL, I NEED THOSE TPS REPORTS

>>725077596
You must work for our German division!

SWEET!

>Yes, your new password is 'Password1234' with a capital p
>Are the numbers in capital?
>....
>...
>..

>>725077708
It might be "Aloha Friday" on your floor, but catch me on my floor howbowdah

>>725078054
Yes id like to file sexual assault...

>>725077708
Since you're fat and not a party animal, Aloha Friday is now cancelled. There'll be no cultural appropriation. Or Niggers

That is all

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I Sure Am Looking Forward To Drinking Some Ice-cold Reeb for more Slandery and Mockery!

>>725077814
thats what Zach from IT told me to do

...wait, did I call call the wrong ext.?

>>725078177
You must of misheard him, he told you to delete your asshole.

>>725078411
Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?

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Fuck this office I got the secretary

No if you want the public holiday off you have to email all the team leaders a month in advance.

>>725078565
But you are Milt and you don't work here.

>>725075047
Office isn't open on Sunday
- it guys

How many times can I move these reports around my desk before everybody figures out I don't actually do anything here?

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>>725074730
O-ok, have a good weekend Pete!

>>725079318
It's okay, we just dick around on vidya all day and only install adobe reader
-It guys

>>725078566
>We've all had the secretary.
Get yourself tested.

>>725079422
you know Pete? Here, give him my phone cord, I never answer my desk phone anyway, plus that faggot always shares reheated fish with Chad in the office.

>>725079476
KEK

Jesus you guys where is my WENUS!?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o91oclUZr9g

>>725074730
Your wife is a man with a mop on his head.

I'm leaving early today its friday
thanks to everyone covering for me

I just finished the first draft of our QBR and sent it off to the Chicago manager so she could review it. We'll see what the service delivery director says on Monday after he reviews it as well. Also I think I heard Nicole fart when she thought she was alone in the kitchen and it kinda turned me on...

JEFF YOU FUCKED WITH THE RADAR AGAIN

>>725080010
nooner or sooner muthafukkaaaaassss

>>725080055
Word on the street...I heard it two floors up...is that the service delivery director is out to get you. Also, Nicole farts in the cubicle next to me all day.

>>725079639
Actually I haven't seen him around in a while. He hasn't showed up all week. Someone should really go check on him.

>>725074475
*phone rings*

>>725074475
Fuck these threads and fuck all of you losers who post in them.

>>725080552
WHO WAS FONE?????

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>>725080636

>>725079746
It'll be on your desk after I'm finished my Annual Net Usage Statistics report.

>>725080010
I already told the boss. You've got to stop being a lazy shit, Dan.

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>>725080636
It appears that we finally found Pete

>>725080759
You're a fucking narc, Ted. You're fired.

>>725080010
I hope you enjoy your life as a jobless quack, Daniel

>>725080944
You're fired too, harassment is a crime.

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>>725080940

>>725081054
Your mom is fired.

thats fine....ill just set the building on fire......

>>725081054
You can't fire me, I have TENURE

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4chan, YOU'RE FIRED!!

>>725074730
Damn that's gotta be painful. These hoes ain't loyal.

>>725081181
And that's a lawsuit, Dan my man, I suggest you lay charges as well.

>>725080552
*phone continues to ring*

does anyone smell fish or is that just the receptionist again?

>>725081215
Inb4 he sets the wrong building on fire.

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next dubs burns this place to the ground

>>725081377
STOP JUMPING OUT THE WINDOWS GUYS WE HAVE A FIRE ESCAPE PROCEDURE!

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>>725081377
>>725081511

>>725081318
No, that is your mom being fat.

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>>725081377
>>725081511

Wtf is going on here?

>>725081356
That is you needing wash your ass more often.

>>725081676
SETTLE THIS OUTSIDE I THINK CHAD FORGOT TO STOP MICROWAVING HIS FISH, SUSAN FUCKING BURNED ALIVE!

>>725080406
Eh fuck him. I've been here way longer and he doesn't have a leg to stand on for getting rid of me. And oh god...now I'll have to sneak in and smell her chair...

>>725081834
I'm glad you brought this up, Steve. Reginald, we need to talk.

IT BUUUUURNS

>>725081377
Inb4 he fails so hard at starting a fire that fire stop existing for a time

>>725081929
please, my mom has this conversation with me every morning, its not like whatever you say is going to change anything

Hey guys, I'm the designated fire marshall but I'm on my break. Who wants my hi vis vest?

If I hear that fat temp bitch say "It looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays" one more time, I'm grabbing her by the throat and throwing her out the window.

Hi, I'm Susan's replacement
where can I put down my fake palm tree and picture of my cat?

>>725082111
It's fine now the fire in the kitchen went out because of the sprinklers, but now we have to do something about Randal having sex with Susans' charred corpse.

>>725082274
like you're gonna be able to lift her you twink

I just came all over my tie. Brb.

>>725081913
kek
>smell her chair

>>725081347
*The phone stops ringing. A neighboring cubicle resident peeks over the top of the cubicle to see that there is nobody in the cubicle to answer the phone. The phone starts ringing again.*

>>725082111
Oh thank god you're here, in the last 40 minutes, the Office has burnt down at least 3 times, can you please check everything out; make sure we're up to code.

>>725082335
And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

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guys i did it

>>725081903
We will settle this in your mom's twat.
>>725082070
Then we will have to remove your fish ass. Someone fetch a saw and a drill

>>725082307
Get the token to do it, Tyrone is good at violence.

>>725080503
ah I stopped by before work this morning. There was a strange smell but I thought it was just his wife.

She stills rides fine btw

>>725082513
Why did you set the hobo on the other side of the city on fire?

Does anyone wanna play DnD?

>>725075666
IT Satan

Set oWMP = CreateObject("WMPlayer.OCX.7")
Set colCDROMs = oWMP.cdromCollection
do
if colCDROMs.Count >= 1 then
For i = 0 to colCDROMs.Count - 1
colCDROMs.Item(i).Eject
Next
For i = 0 to colCDROMs.Count - 1
colCDROMs.Item(i).Eject
Next
End If
wscript.sleep 5000
loop

Can you distribute this .bat script onto everyone's computer please.

I got this strange rash on my inner leg by my groine.

>>725082835
Chad's picking up on your shennigans. Expect fish taped under your chair seat

>>725080636
You've posted I "these threads" and now fall under your own judgement as a faggot

Guys, I know you love our business, 4chin, but has anyone noticed they haven't been payed yet? I've been hearing over at Doublechin that they had the same problem but overcame it by unionising. Now they get paid the same as their boss and they do less hours, something about not being a fair equality of work leisure and sleep times.

>>725083252
We could probably flip this into a making 4chins better thread.

>>725082994
paste into note pad, and save as .BAT

I do it when coworkers leave their cubicles

Why the fuck does my computers cupholder keep opening?

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Hello employees, I am Schlomo Schlostein. I am the new owner of your business.

My first act is to enforce diversity with more female employees and more immigrant workers, because immigrants are the foundation of your...our country. Please say hello to your new manager, Rajniganja Perjeet.

>>725074475
what movie is that from?

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>>725083437

>>725083433
fucking KEK

>>725083437
GAS THE KIKES
>implying 4chin office would accept a jew

>>725083437
Fucking bourgeois, get out.

I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.

Who's ready for the racial and gender bias re-training office seminar this Friday??

>>725083433
Because you keep trying to fuck the computer you faggot.

>>725083437
Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still haven't received my paycheck and he took my stapler and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it...

>>725083814
It won't work, last time the trainer left in tears while screeching "REE".

>>725083858
INTERESTING

>>725083901
you must work at 4chin corp.

>>725083858
I think these 2 things are unrelated. I've been having relations with my computer a lot longer than my cupholder being an issue.

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Please note, employees, that if you have records indicating you voted for Donald Trump you will be given sensitivity training. If you fail to report you will be terminated and reported to the police.

>>725083863
Please speak to HR.

>>725083901
That is what everyone did. Please take a fucking bath or ten.

>>725074475
Hey IT, just calling to let you know I won't be needing you to come down anymore, Microsoft called and gave me some FREE help. How nice of them!

Does anyone know the wifi password?

>>725084138
You know now that you mention it, I think that's what everyone does around the clock.

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WHO TOOK MY DIET PEPSI?!?!?!?!?

>>725084258
it's 123456

>>725084222
Can you fix my cupholder? I think it's possessed by Satan again.

>>725084328
Chad

>>725084444
Chad sold it to Tyrone.

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Hi guys, just wanted to share this hilarious image Ben emailed me. He didn't think it was appropriate for the whole office but I just couldn't NOT show this to you guys. I mean, look at it! It's quite hilarious.

By the way, which super bowl ad was your favorite guys? I loved that dancing monkey one! Haha.

Guys!
Can we keep it down?
I'm in the middle of a meeting!

>>725082473
*The phone continues to ring*

Guys Randal just came in Susan's corpse and now it's starting to smell worse than the receptionist, can we get Tyrone to clean it or should we just stop anyone from entering the kitchen.

>>725084292
Take baths?

Can someone e-mail me the memo from today?

>>725084677
Ayy dis Tyrone, was happenin'?

>>725084677
Is no one going to pick up that damn phone? Jesus fucking christ. Hello? Who is this? Stop calling this fucking office. Your what? Who took your stapler? Jesus fuck off. Wait what? Bullshit. Bullshit you're gonna burn this place down. Alright fuck off I'm hanging up. BYE

>>725084628
You and the bathroom gloryhole does not count as a meeting.

>>725084871
I din call no office, who da fuq call to say stop callin. *hangs up*

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>>725084871

>>725085003
Well in that case Randal isn't in another meeting with Susan again.

who shit on my desk?

>>725085106
You have to stick your dick in.

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>>725085231
not me....

>>725085231
You did. You mistake it for someone else's desk.

>>725074475
i fucked every negress in this building because i want to COLONIZE affirmative action

pass me the stapler Jim?

>>725074475
Is this a real photo?

Toner!!! Who the fuck forgot to order the toner? And why the fuck are all the K-Cup Decaf?!?

>>725085387
i know my own shit when i smell it... nope this was definitely someone elses doing

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mail for pepe silvia

>>725085629
That's me. What is it?

>>725085564
Who's shit does it smell like?

Ayy bois hoo wanna buy my fire mixtape? I be reppin' yall wen I make it bigtime y'hear nigga.

>>725085003
Listen bud, I got six dicks that need sucking before 3pm and that WITHOUT even thinking about the anal blasting I'm going to get from the manager when he finds out that tracy from accounting spent $2000 on the work account because I forgot to deactivate the card!
So unless you wanna get on your knees and swallow some salty injustice, I suggest you take it up with HR and shut up.

>>725085747
No one wants to buy mixtapes that are on fire.

>>725085747
that blak bike messenger is here, Dale it's for you!

>>725085882
OH SHIT THE OFFICE IS ON FIRE AGAIN!

>>725086023
Chad overcooked his fucking fish again

>>725085841
Oh sorry I did not know you were doing work cock sucking, carry on.

>>725086103
RANDAL IS STILL IN THERE, OH GOD MARSH IS NOW HAVING SEX WITH RANDALS CORPSE WHILE RANDALS IS BURNT TO SUSANS!

>>725084871
*An hour passes following the call. A smell eerily similar to burned popcorn drifts into the office area.
The phone rings again.*

IT NOTICE:

Please remember to submit tickets with a proper discription of your issue, filling the discription feild with "issue is in the title" will just lead us to blocking porn.access on your computer.

Thanks, IT

>>725086307
Ayy dis Tyrone agen, dis da same nigga who called before tellin' me not to call? dafuq mane?

>>725085692
open it up and see

>>725085692
Surprise buttsex from niggers.

>>725085713
definately margaret. tastes like it too

>>725086406
Cupholder problem;

Hey IT, my cupholder wont stay inside the computer, and when I tried to fuck it I got stuck.

>>725086460
*Tyrone intended to call his father, and inadvertently called the office again. He apologized and retried his call, but he realized he didn't have his dad's number because he never met his dad.
It's midday in the office now. The burnt popcorn smell is stuck in the air, similar to when the intern Ryan brought in Salmon one day for lunch.
The phone rings again.*

>>725086657
Then go talk to Margaret you faggot.

>>725086307
You again? God damn it what did I say? Stop fucking calling here. *sniffs* Aaah shit, I was fucking cooking some popcorn but you gone made me burn the shit out of it. You mother fucker, who are you? I'm going to find you. This company traces all calls you fuck. Good-BYE

>>725086742
Ayy dis Tyrone, dis some freaky shit I be da only one answerin' da phone but I fink I be the one callin' too. I ain't on crack mane.

>>725086809
*As anon moves to check the microwave after the call, anon realizes no popcorn was made. The smell now is stronger. Closer to burning wood than burned food. The discovery is unsettling.
Three hours until the end of the business day.
The phone rings.*

>>725086994
Ah yes, tyrone. We've had complaints of people jumping from windows, odd smells and fire warnings. Is everything fine there at 4chin?

what're cats doing under my desk? and where'd they get a bed from!?

>>725087201
Are they asking to haz cheezburgers? They might be mine.

>>725087060
I swear to god, if this is who I think it is, I'm gonna... what? How... how the fuck do you keep getting through to this number? What the fuck have you done? We all saw the fucking wood burning in the hallway. Ted just put it out with the fire extinguisher. You are fucking crazy man and I'm gonna call the damn fucking cops. You hear me? If you so much as DARE to call again, I will have the cops so far up your tight little ass you'll be squeeling like a fuckin pig u hear me? You sunofabitch. *hangs up*

>>725087262
JOHNSON DID YOU BRING YOUR CATS TO WORK ON A DAY OTHER THAN CATURDAY? YOU'RE FIRED!

>>725087262
is the moose yours too? it's been licking my face for over an hour.

>>725087169
*It is now an hour and a half until the end of the business day. A few employees have begun to gather their things and head out early. Many complain about a sickening, unwholesome burning smell.
The motion activated light in the copier room turns on. Beeps are heard and the copier begins running several copies. Too many copies.
The phone rings in three seperate cubicles at once.
The branch manager steps out of his office and hollers "IS ANYONE GOING TO ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE?"

>>725087552
How the fuck did a moose get in here? We're on the 33rd floor!

>>725087731
>THEY CAN ONLY WALK UPSTAIRS
>IT WILL TAKE A CRANE TO GET IT OUT

>>725087731
I'm on the 72nd floor.
Come on up, it's really warm.

>>725087826
>>725087731
Good thing we work at a crane distribution facility.

>>725087701
Ayy man settle down I be answerin phones all day but is peeps tellin me to stop callin, I think we be gettin pranked dawg. I can you check out da kichin? I fink marsh randy and soosan have had a meeting in there all day, nawm sayin'?

>>725087731
how the fuck am I supposed to know? just get it off of me. and get that hippo out of the bathroom. it's been there all day and I need to use the restroom.

>>725087896
HOW DO WE GET THE CRANES DOWNSTAIRS!?

>>725087731
I'll call the crane operator

>>725087920
You can't talk about the receptionist like that John, she isn't a hippo.

>>725087971
Lift it with a crane, call Jane at management someone.
>inb4 women cant manage

>>725087971
Cranes, you idiot. the lack of common sense in this younger generation is staggering

>>725075498
You're having a stroke

>>725087731
A summon moose spell.

guys, there's a grizzly bear and a silverback gorilla hugging it out on the roof. can we please get animal control?

>>725087971
Inside your butt

>>725088200
Actually I was trying to cast a summon succubus, sorry guys.

>>725087731
just wait for it to go to the 34th floor, dingus. The crane will come shortly

File: IMG_0259.png (717KB, 1024x576px) Image search: [Google]

717KB, 1024x576px

Dubs

>>725088292
You need to stop referring to Chuck and Tyrone like that. They are practicing their fighting techniques.

Who the fuck has taken a shit in the printer, what the fuck how am I supposed to print out stuff now

Guys I think the Zoo exploded and animals flew into the building.

>>725088418
Tyrone is nice except when he steals

>>725088445
Brown ink.

>>725088445
I think I saw Bill go in there last. Fucking Bill.

>>725088072
she might as well be. you can't even see her feet anymore because of her stomach dragging on the floor. I'm surprised the elevator can still support her.

>>725088292
Or you can just tell your mom to stop fucking a nigger and go home.

>>725088418
>>725088503
My bad, forget I assumed Chuck was a bear and Tyrone was a gorilla.

>>725088560
Can she even fit in the elevator?

>>725088545
Jesus fuck Bill, this is getting obnoxious you cant shit anywhere in this fucking office.

>>725088529
That's racist to assume Tyrone is the thief just because he's black.

>>725088680
Yeah boss it was definitely Bill. You should fire him and then I can be promoted haha just kidding, or am I?

When was the last time we had a "nude day"? I mean come on! HR said we had to appreciate all cultures and backgrounds, I say we spend the rest of the day au naturel.

>>725088680
It's called recycling. If you don't want the whole world to burn in flames because we destroyed the ozone layer you'll start shitting in more things too.

>>725088709
But we have it on tape

>>725088445
>>725088680
Maybe you should tell the boss to buy a printer that does not look like a toilet and maybe bill will stop.

>>725088786
You'll get a promotion as soon as you get rid of the fucking moose stuck at the 33rd.

>>725088798
We should probably make it the same day as bring your children to work day... Just for efficiency.

>>725088907
Don't be so ignorant. For all we know that was you in those tapes.

>>725088418
Steve, there's an actual grizzly and silverback on the roof hugging it out. We need to call Robert from animal control ASAP. And get these birds out of the storage room. They're shitting on all the printer papers and other supplies.

>>725088907
*mix tape.

>>725088798
Jenny always tells me shes gonna report me the moment I flop my dick out

>>725088957
2 cocks 1 rock, I hear you.

>>725089074
That's sexual harassment I can have her fired.

>>725088987
ye bozz i sees white man take dem staples n papaz he sed he gon smok da fat ganja wid em lul fire him or i report des racis shyt to hr

In all of this chaos we're fucking forgetting to actually distribute cranes WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WE'RE GONNA GO BANKRUPT

>>725089074
Jenny can suck my dick she does the same thing every time I piss in the sink.

Who left this brain in the fridge?

>>725088669
just barely. everyone is too scared to even get in it with her. the elevator keeps making weird noises like it's struggling to lift her.

>>725089074
How can she see something that small?

>>725089188
Tyrone calm down HR put a bucket of KFC in the special needs bathroom go there and calm down. No need to report anything here. Company needs no more trouble with all of these animals here already.

You guys wanna hit Applebee's for lunch today? Let me know. I have a gift card.

>>725089201
Maybe we should hire Oprah.

>>725089327
DAS RAYCIS HR DIS WHITE BOI CALL ME NIGGER

>>725089404
fuck this we're screwed everyone look normal HR is coming to inspect shortly

>>725089222
That illithid what his name.

>>725089483
2 KFC BUCKETS AND WATERMELON WID DA GRAPE SODA N KOOLAID AND MAYBE HR WON'T HEAR ABOUT HOW U A RAYCIS

this office is LOW ENERGY

>>725089404
Nigga sitch yo ayss down. Guuurl I had it up to here wif yo dum nigga shit. Yoo shood be respektin dem crackas for even givin you a job. You gotta suhport at least 5 kids, and mine on the way.

>>725089669
Shut yo mouf laquisha I finna get us sum kfc n grape soda

>>725089621
Alright fuck, someone get Tyrone his kfc, grape soda and water melon before he fucks all of us over. *mutters: "fucking niggers cant behave"*

the moose is on the 67th floor. GET IT OUT OF HERE! IT'S EATING MY CHAIR!

>>725089839
WHAT U CALL ME WHITE BOI?

>>725089888
THE MOOOOOSE IS LOOOOOSE

>>725089784
(oh damn you right playa) AYY SHAWTY BAWS MAN, WE BEIN uhh OPPRESSERISED OVER HNYAW, WE ON STRIKE UNTIL WE CAN GET US SOME TUCKY FRY AND PURPAL DRANK.

>>725089888
It not like you need a chair you big baby.

>>725089977
Don't forget da koolaid

THE GORILLA IS FUCKING THE GRIZZLY ON MY DESK! WTF IS THIS BULLSHIT!? WHERES ANIMAL CONTROL!?

>>725088310
Maybe the moose is a succubus that just looks like a moose, you should try fucking it.

>>725090085
OH YEAH AND WARDA MELUNS AND KOOLAID

>>725090104
Tyrone & Laquisha get off the fucking desk, you already have enough babies and Tyrone cant make enough money to pay child support cleaning this office all day.

>>725090156
sneak attack it while it's still eating my chair

>>725090156
Already did. It wasn't super interested. Then it bucked Tony out a window.

>>725077830
I WORK IN HR! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!

>>725090314
SHUT YO MOUF CRACKA WHITEBOI I GET PAID MORE THAN U DO

>>725090382
KFC and grape soda doesn't count as a viable source of income, Tyrone

>>725090314
The orgy of flaming corpses in the kitchen still hasn't been cleaned either.

>>725090382
Welfare doesn't count towards your paycheck you get from here

>>725090344
So that is why Tony is laying outside dead. The dumbass should learned how to fly.

>>725090481
>>725090513
DAS RAYCIS

>>725090485
Then get to work faggot.

>>725090529
I know right, even I learned a levitation spell as soon as I turned 30.

>>725090485
Jesus fuck get fat Jane from the reception to clean it up, pay her in chocolate and she'll be fine.

>>725090600
It's Tyrones job, I'm the managers bathroom meeting associate.

>>725090607
Levitate on this dick, bitch

can someone please just get animal control and the cranes here? the birds got out of the storage room and they're shitting on absolutely everything and everyone. the cats are also clawing at everything because of the fish smell coming from the microwave.

>>725090607
It took you that long to learn that spell? Oh right you are human.

>>725090745
Where is Chad anyway?

>>725090745
Uh I think that fish smell is coming from between Sandra's legs actually

>>725090745
Thats Tyrones fucking job, he's in the bathroom with Laquisha eating water melon he stole from the kitchen

>>725087911
*It is one hour now until the end of the business day. Every phone in every cubicle suddenly rings. The Copier is still printing.*

>>725090870
I HEARD DAT WHITEBOI U FINK I CAN'T HEAR U IN HERE BUT I DOES

Hi I'm the animal control guy, the office across the street, doublechin called about the zoo explosion. From the last 5 minutes I couldn't help but overhear, do you guys make Tyrone do all the work while you sit around casting spells and sucking dicks?

>>725091070
NORMIES GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>725091070
YA DAS RIGHT THESE RAYCIS CRACKAS DO NUFFIN

>>725074475
no.

>im not a faggot

>>725090694
Just tell her the corpses are chocolate and kill two birds with one stone.
>>725090721
He is too busy being a nigger to do it at this time and if we can't get Jane to do it we may have you do it

>>725091184
Everyone, this is Andy my best friend. He constantly tells people he's not gay because he's secretly homosexual but that's no secret between us, haha. Right Andy?

>>725091314
Fuck that I'm not gonna do it, pay the animal control guy to do it and pay him in printers or something, there's shit all over them either way.

>>725091394
No. I don't know you and I'm not gay.

>>725091488
Haha, classic Andy! Love you pumpkin <3

>>725091070
Just do your job fag lord, don't make me turn you into a frog.

>>725074475
I like to fart in these places and sneak away...

>>725091070
GET THESE ANIMALS ARE RIGHT FUCKING NOW! THE MOOSE IS EATING MY CHAIR, THE CATS ARE CLAWING EVERYTHING BECAUSE OF A FISH SMELL, A GORILLA AND BEAR HAVE BEEN FUCKING FOR HOURS ON MY DESK, THERE'S A HIPPO IN THE RESTROOM, THERE ARE BIRDS SHITTING EVERYWHERE, DOGS ARE DOING FLIPS OFF OF THE ROOF, AND THERE'S A DRUNKEN BRAWL BETWEEN A TIGER AND A KANGAROO IN THE BASEMENT! FFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

>>725091473
I am pretty sure he does not want printers shaped like toilets.

Hey, It's the Crane Operator. I heard something about a Moose Problem? sorry I'm late, my crane fell into a swimming pool and we had to call for a crane to get it out

>>725091680
So today is Friday?