How to pick up bitches on Tinder 101.

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>>724923077

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>>724923142

>>724923077
interesting, anon. Keep going

>>724923077
>>724923142
>>724923177

Now OP, lets see the picture of that landwhale you are trying to pull

Keep going! Youve nearly got her!

Just don't go full Hesse on her

>>724923077
>>724923142
>>724923177
This is fucking cringeworthy

>>724925620
Virgin reporting for duty

>>724923077
While you are being assertive and bitches like that, you're still acting like a cringy fucking creep.

>>724923077
>she looks fat
>shes wearing glasses
>she has a snapchat tag on her photo
>her chin is fucked
>shes pouting
>can barely see half her face

Lol opie you matched with a 3/10 (at most) sket that has sucked like 30 people off from tinder and feel the need to make a thread braggin about your accomplishments of her responding a few times.

GJ faggot.

>>724925852
Nice try landwhale hunter, I've been dating the same chick for three years and have fucked more in that time period than you will your whole life

no one cares that you can almost start a conversation with the ugliest chick to be posted on /b/

sage

At this point shes only replying to OP out of amusement and hes better off not posting anymore caps.

>>724923077
Poor op. So beta

>>724926160
could you get any more butthurt?

you've been tapping the same worn out skank for 3 years and probably will for another 3 until she finds someone better than you, while on the other hand I've been getting one night stands every other weekend

>>724927141
And that means that he's having at least thrice as much sex as you. And you can't hold on to a woman.

>>724927141
not the guy you were replying to, but if these are the levels of girls you have been fucking I'm sure hes not mad.

Post moar op this shit is hilarious

>>724927141
How the fuck is someone this cringe worthy?

>>724927676
stfu samefag

sage

>>724927141
>>724927346
Wait, I misread, you are fucking "every other weekend". That's two fucks a month. Is that something to brag about? And why don't they insist on another shag?

>>724923077
Tinder Select

nice lines bro

>>724929868
Too harsh, tone it back man you're gonna lose her and not get tits and ass.

>>724929727
>omg papa roach last resort

>>724929970
You lost her about 4 messages back

"Oh haha" "yeah lol" incoming then no replies

Well done you could have been a 4chan demi god for a minute like hesse

>>724930133
>>724929955
>>724929899
get thread

Also she's dryer than a nuns cooch, she was moistening

>>724930244
Get thread proven

Op stops posting as no reply like I predicted.

Well done faggot

>>724930067
OP, you will get her.

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>>724930307
You thought wrong.

>>724930515
>Eating my tea

>>724930594
probably british

Op are you trying to prove that you're extremely lonely or something?

I haven't felt sorry for someone like this in a while

>>724930594
When you freeze it, you can eat it like a slushie.

>>724929727
>it's *losing, you fucking third grader. Learn how to spell.
also wow ur so random lolz ur so funny

>>724930515
OP, charge phone and share her nudes.

Which city are you from?

>>724930515
4 more replies then she's done

You heard It here first

>>724930728

Well, at least he's on his way to fuck her if he doesn't fuck it up in the process.

I dindu get any matches

>>724930879
Generic response haha

Enjoy your last two faggot

Are you a time traveler OP? It's not september yet

>>724931210
In every country other than the US it goes day/month/year instead of month/day/year

You did good OP. But I think it's done now

99% of girls would stop talking to you by this point. she must be desparate

>>724931214
I think she is retarded

>>724931637
Yah. OPs game is shit tier

so fuckin bad you can tell shes fat because shes actually replying

>>724931214

>abandon thread

>>724931210
American education

50 messages exchanged and op still hasnt sealed the deal

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Bump

>>724931993
Implying IP is desperate enough to fuck a chubby chick.

>>724932217
OP*

i thought this was a tinder thread. for
fucks
sakes
>>screen cap for beta cringe?

>>724932217
implying that isnt the entire reason he(you) started the thread in the first place
>how to pick up bitches on tinder
>fails to pickup a 4/10

>>724932059
you are cancer
please cease and desist your heresy

>>724932059
i think she is dtf...... :)

>>724932484
Thread is dead everyone. Funs over

hey /b/ i will be dumping photos from when i wooed this college student a few days ago.

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Part 1

Ask her to 'succ my nunts' then when she replies say 'whadayatalkinabeet'

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2

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3

>>724933159

"I can run pretty fast if i juice up first"

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5

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Part 6

THE NEXT DAY

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7

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8

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9

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10

>>724933466
>bob's burger
>funny

Abandon that retard

>>724933605
bitch watches shit tv shows. think of netflix and chill!!! not going to be good

I have more.

easiest ways to get girls 101
1.Don't be yourself
2.Be straightforward even if it means just saying "send ass"

that's all

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Damn.

Tinder is not meant to be a conversation place

It's for finding quick pussy. Get their contact asap and dip

Observe (hope you can speak spanish)

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>>724933964

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>>724934002

>>724933775
hey! archer is a good show

>>724933775
TFW the anons are better than OP

jesus fucking christ op, kill yourself

>>724923077
Anyone know a specific reason bitches never respond to me? i'm a 5/10 i think

>>724933775
This

>>724934100
check em, OP must commit suicide

>>724934166
thats probably why you fucking gay

>>724934166
Bro after I eat, I will make another Tinder fix thread like yesterday if you were around

It was a huge success

Got tons of matches from it

>>724930067
Aaaand you fucked up.

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1/2

can't believe i read this whole thread of beta failures

>>724934166
Try using OP's starter line, it's worked on two girls for me so far.

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2/2

POST THE NUDES YOU TIT

>>724934446
She wants benis in vageen

>watch me get laid thread
>buncha virgins never getting laid

i'm getting to black for this shit...

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Enjoy a whole convo in a single reply you fucking plebians.

>>724934640
go home nigger

>>724923077
You fucking son of a bitch I'm literally laughing out loud in my doctor's office and everyone's looking at me like I'm on crack well done sir you got a kek out of me >>724923142
>>724923177
>>724929600

>>724934034
>>Implying that shit spanish of yours hahahaha

>>724933964
>>724934002
>>724934034
I dont speak lawnmower. Does this cunt want your chimichonga or what?

>>724934777
TRIPS HAVE SPOKEN

>>724934814
faggotry

>>724930594
in northern England tea = dinner

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This is how you talk to girls

>>724935021
did u add me?

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triggered feminist.

>>724934446
no nudes. no proof of having fucked the girl. so worthless

>>724934809
>>724934814
I don't speak spanish either, but google translate makes it easy for pussy

Yes. She wanted to chimiconga very badly

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>>724935021

>>724935021
did u add me?

plz respond

>>724935203
Someone added me and I wasn't sure it was her

>>724931214
It's, "does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" And it doesn't really translate well through text. I swear this girl missy really be a sight to behold, OP. Any halfway respectable girl would have started ignoring you after the first screen cap.

>>724934687
bless you

>>724935021
>>724935276

Both woman a bit on the...larger side.

>>724935485
did u add me tho?

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>>724935276

>>724935496
This girl is a keeper

>>724935276
>>724935663
hahahah where are the girls from?

>>724935900
Northern Indiana mostly

>>724935496
I want to marry this girl.

>>724930658
She's fat. Odds are overwhelmingly high that she's American.

>>724935279
I liked that one.

>>724935279
Actually made me chuckle

>>724936103
>>724935800

>thinking a girl that makes le funny XD math jokes is automatically worth entertaining

no thanks

No game at all

It's like watching a middle schooler talk to a girl

>>724935800
>>724936103
>>724936538

Been dating a math nerd lady for 5 years. Met in compsci. She works in IT. Can confirm awesome.

>>724936538
At least she's putting some effort into their conversation.

Also fagget

>>724936538
well, yes

girls making maths jokes are keepers

Are you saying you don't like maths or you dont like smart girls?

Are you saying that you are, in fact, a teeny little bit retarded?

>>724936701

fag

>>724934687
Doing gods work, Son.

>>724936834
autism + autism = super autism babies

surely math nerds should pick up on that, right?

>>724936946
those are really simple math jokes though. i guess i just envision some pimply-faced girl who doesn't wear much makeup or has a shit figure texting/typing all of that out. i'm sure that there are exceptions, but the girls that fit my tastes usually end up gravitating towards something more creative, like graphic design/art

which is funny because i think most of that is a waste of time myself

>>724935165
>I'll pay cash.
Lost it

I'm too easy.

>>724937244
>lolz you guys are autosmi !

Good arguments, solid.

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>>724937244
For the record, I know what she looked like and she was really fuckin hot if you're into emo/scene types.

>>724933159
>>724933226
>>724933271
>>724933303
>>724933350
>>724933391
>>724933428
>>724933466
>>724933513
>>724933605
Reading this was like watching a plane crash out of the sky.

This thread got way better after the OP left

>>724937839
"oh" lol

>>724938173
i loved OP's comments

>>724933948
What do you put in your about page. I don't know what to put in?

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>>724938505
Nobody reads that shit anyway man. It's about the 5 picture principle.

1. Picture of you with a dog/cat. Shows you love animals.
2. Picture of you in or around your vehicle. Shows that you have a job.
3. Picture of you with friends. Shows that you have...friends.
4. Picture of you shirtless BUT not a filthy mirror selfie. Go to a beach/pool and/or combine this with picture of friends.
5. Picture of you looking fine as hell. Maybe you went to a wedding or some event.

NONE of these should be selfies. Always have someone else take the photo with a good camera and good lighting. Guaranteed puss if you're not a fuckin ogre.

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>>724939049
lost hard

>>724938505
just put random shit like
>i'm here to find my mum
they can inititate and it's not the shitty
>I like adventures and Pizza and I do much sporty things

>>724939644
Don't forget
>big cums to my dick

>>724937839
How do you write a good bio? It's hard to get a catchy one that gets you swipes.

>>724939791
Have /b/ write it. Guaranteed to make you a certified cunt destroyer

>>724939873
This.

Shall we go word by word?

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>>724939791
Refer to >>724939049

Bios don't matter on Tinder also refer to >>724939644

>>724940190
Just put some gay shit like

"Hi my name's Mike. I'm here to have some fun, they call me mighty Mike because of all the pussy I've slain. I don't like to brag but I normally like to do it in public or in front of my parents if they're asleep. Really turns me on. That's how everyone knows. Anyway babe, I'll see you tonight x"

Good thread.

Can confirm photos on dating apps matter, because I had two decent-ish photos showing my face. Plus some generic bio.

No luck on tinder and Pof. So I made an account on Okc with a single photo of Homer Simpson. BOOM. Got two pretty nice girls talking to me right after texting them that day.

Though I asked one out on Monday and she still hasn't replied so I guess that's the end.

>>724940681
Or put a song lyric. Girls will love that
Something like
"I'm not looking for someone with superhuman gifts, just someone I can turn to, someone I can kiss" but make sure you spell it so it doesn't come across as you trying to own them etc

>>724939873
Alright bro. Help me out.

>>724942466
"I'vegot a big dick and tiny arms"

>>724940254
I'm going to follow the 5 principle but leaving the bio blank looks out of place.

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>>724942817
Don't leave the bio blank dude, just put some random shit there. I'm just saying that it doesn't really matter what you put.

>>724942778

I made a thread dedicated to fixing our shit here

>>724943227
I don't have a cat/dog but got a pic with my cute niece does that cut it?

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>>724943736
Yeah, children are fucking animals anyways.

>>724943838
Kek! Okay any idea of a good bio and I'm set. Thanks for the massive help man.

>>724934687
legend

>>724944493
meme it down a little my dude, you are making my jaw and sides hurt

love it worked every time

>>724935232
doing god's work, anon.

indeed

man lol is someone screen capping this ... i think its gold

>>724944452
Quick bio tip 101;

If you're 6' 1" or taller it can be helpful to put your height in your bio.

If you're 6' 0" or shorter don't put height in your bio (6' 0" just because it looks weird and anything under that is nothing to brag about).

>>724946043
>6'0" looks weird
Oh wow, I didn't realize what a massive set of ovaries you had, anon.

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>>724934687

>>724946254
Only retards type out zeroes.

>im six one
>im six zero

That's how dumb you sound.

>>724935232
LMAO

>>724946531
read it as
>six o

>>724946531
>Only retards type out zeroes.
Is this bait? "Never type out a zero"
What kind of abstract fuckery is this?

>>724932026
Hahahahaha that profile pic you fucking Emo fag

>>724946043
I'm 6'3 but I can't just say I'm 6'3 lol.

>>724929970
i fucking lost it at this point

>>724947035
"About John

Fight for your right to swipe right.
Engineer, 2 dogs, 6' 3"

>>724923077
>hit girl on snap
>chat with her
>tells me she is in bad mood right now
>gives me her number
>tells me about rape and cutting

how to deal with this comfort her ignore this ?

>>724947832
send nudes

>>724947832
>Tell her it makes you hot
>ask for pics
>post here
>???
Profit

>>724933159
"Enough for my dick"

>>724943838
>>724943227
lmfao moar

>>724947540
Apart from the dog part. That's a good post thanks anon.

>>724948070
>>724948015

i'm on gibberish language but i think i fucked up i comforted her about the cuttings.

didn't mention rape yet but i'm itching to ask but i think i will ignore this.

going for the last moves now

This some good bread

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This girl an idiot or what?

>>724949283
Nah just handicapped.

>>724949044
>>724949500
2 posts of mine and both were gets, check em

She doesn't like basketball, you thick fuck. Avoidance should tell you to drop it? Ask about football instead

>>724949283
It's just a bot, you're the idiot for not realizing it kek

>>724949549
I checked them bro.
I did.

>>724949612
I am asking about football

>>724949704
Bots are the only girls that will talk to me though

>>724949549
No faggot it goes like this.
OH PLAY MEIN CARDS RIGHT AND IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!
GRANT ME 5's!

>>724949959
Sheeeeit

>>724949705

Thanks bro

>>724949959

Fuck off cunt we need more keks in thread

>>724950272
:(
bigbully

>>724949283
its a bot bro

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>>724949283

>>724949802
It was a joke. You're never gonna survive in this game, hamburger. You best get yourself a hotdog

>>724950779
You're talking to a bot, retard

>>724950779
wtf is this lol someone wants to kill you

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>>724949912
I feel you bro

>>724943838
ok this was actually funny

>>724931210
>burger

>>724935165
kek

>>724923077
OP I like you and I hope you get sum fuk boi. Made me laugh harder than most the shit ylyl threads. Well played sir.

>>724950779
Say "Listen bby, wherever you are, I will cum, and we can start a family ;3"

It's gonna be interesting to see how a bot responds to that.

>>724952712
She posted a link and now i have a virus.
Brb wiping my phone.

>>724923177
I already cringed