You know the drill /b/. Get a superpower, anons below change it.

>>724811856
Anything I write with my magic pencil will happen.

>>724812271
Your magical pencil has no graphite.

I can see the future.

>>724812421
Everything you see is turned upside down

I can remove the cap from any bottle by looking at it

>>724812421
You can only see the future bowel movements of those around you.

I can teleport.

File: 7 of 9.jpg (60KB, 695x841px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 695x841px

Save Points

The ability to mark a specific point in time as a save point and then go back to that save point at any time in the future.

You spill some of the contents.

I can move things through esp

>>724812585
But only when you're sleeping.

Love Magic

>>724812556
The cap is automatically inserted into your urethra.

>>724812647
But your memory is full.

>>724812647

Your save points must be port-o-johns

I can control time

>>724812271
>Anything I write with my magic pencil will happen.

Until you put it down. Pencil loses all magic abilities the moment it breaks contact with your skin.

>>724812696
you can only move stuff you can actually physically lift

i can morf into whatever i want(i know i can't spell)

>>724812813
Every time you do so, you shrink half a foot

I can hold up my poop forever

File: 2017-02-23-GP0504.jpg (238KB, 643x1000px) Image search: [Google]

238KB, 643x1000px

>>724812647
you risk the destruction of the universe if you use it.
pic related

>>724812858
So he'd just ducktape it to his body, right?

>>724812421
But only what will happen within 5 seconds.
Fly at will.

>>724812919
But it travels up through your body until it comes out of your mouth unless you shit it out.

Really Bendy Thumb

>>724812919
You however fecal vomit.

I can modify my density.

>>724813013
Can only fly up, never down.

Can speak to animals.

>>724813044
But it might break sometimes, dunno when tho

You have to stick it up your ass once a day or you die

My power is projectile vomiting Pepsi

>>724812585
But it will take you the time it will take to an average man to get there walking

>>724812919
You have a maximum space at which point your body becomes painfully distended and keeps expanding until you poop

I breathe whale semen like a dragon breathes fire.

>>724813094
If you lower your density you become enlarged, if you make it higher you shrink.

>>724813013
Super fragile bone structure.

Invisibility

The semen glues your throat closed.

I can lift things with my mind

>>724813183
Your fecal matter becomes whale semen too

I can speak to animals

>>724813170
The pepsi tastes like 15 year old, flat diet coke.

>>724813094
You turn a sickly yellow hue for 20 hours after doing so
>>724813103
All animals speak Swahili
>>724813183
That's pretty much a disadvantage already. I'll allow you this power.

My earwax is the most expensive matter on Earth

>>724813299
you have down syndrome

i can fly

>>724813183
You get recharged by said whale anally

>>724813183
But it was genetically crafted from firebreathing, so you still may inadvertently sometimes breathe fire, which you have no resistance to.

Omnipotence.

>>724813299
but once lifted, you can't put them down. They just stay in he air, hovering.

>>724813103
But every time you do you get migraine

>>724813399

You have down syndrome.

>>724813299
But every time you lift something with your mind your cock also lifts, and you have a throbbing erection.

I can turn invisible

>>724813298
Once you go invisible you can never be visible again, everything used to make you visible will also get invisible.

I'm immortal.

>>724813386
Animals refuse to speak to you outside of in the manner we hear them in normally, resulting in your power to be utterly fucking worthless you chimp.

>>724813298
But only for your lower half, becoming aroused makes you instantly invisible.

I can change my body mass. Say, I can turn my muscle into fat and viceversa. Effectively changing sizes.

>>724813500
But not biologically immortal, meaning it is impossible for you to die, even when the universe ends.

>>724813298
But only when there is no one around

>>724812647
You can only save after something terrible happens.

>>724813401
Omnipotence everywhere but the bedroom, where no amount of pills, stimulation, therapy, or otherwise will allow you to perform.

>>724813510
>But if I'm a chimp can't I speak to animals already?

>>724813500
you slip in the tub and die because immortality =/= invincibility.

I can fap to traps and still remain straight.

>>724813716
Everyone still thinks you're a faggot.

I have the ability to fire any gun with flawless precision.

>>724813716
But deep inside you know that's not true

>>724813716
But you become a trap too.

>>724813795
Only when the target is yourself.

>>724813716
But you have to suck hairy men's dicks daily.

My farts make beautiful girls horny

>>724813698
>Can already speak to animals
>Not a power
>Animals can't speak to you

>>724813463
but you have down syndrome

>>724813795
You must target white people, otherwise you'll always miss.

I have the power to make people happy by looking at them

>>724813863
J-jokes on you thats my fetish!

you can direct gravity in any direction at up to 20x Earth's gravity

>>724813716
You can't remain straight if you aren't straight.

I become God with unlimited powers whenever i want and nothing can stop me.

The ability to rewind time by a short amount. the max is 10 seconds, but after doing it it has to cool down, 10 seconds cooldown equal 1 second time stop. So, if you havent used it in a day, you can rewind by 10 seconds, then after another 10 seconds of time flow rewind by one, or after 20 seconds for 2 seconds. You remember exactly what happened within that time

>>724813897
But not horny for you, and no, they won't let you watch.

>>724813935
But you're blind.

I can kill people with my pure willpower

>>724813897
But only for 5 seconds, they get sick afterwards.
Super strength without being muscular

>>724813935
but when you do it you get a 11inch dildo inside your ass

>>724813967
The intensity at which it redirects is random, following a bell curve distribution.

>>724813935
You're blind.

>>724813935
only after you drink a pint of aged horse spunk

>>724811856
I can shapeshift into a loli flying brick.

>>724813977
but you have down syndrome

>>724813897
But makes your dick smaller each time

Everyone I touch becomes friendly

But you will be alone for eternity

I am immortal

>>724813967
The object effected will inevitably hit you in the face

I can cast magic fireballs on an opponent

>>724814018
Only while having sex with them, and only before completion.

>>724814025
Ultra fragile bones

I'm able to see through clothes

>>724813967
But every time you do, that weight accumulates and becomes your new mass.

>>724814112
But it costs you 1 finger each time

>>724814061
and you stay that way

>>724813500
universe kerplodes tomorrow

I can taste the inside of other people's mouths just by looking at them

>>724814018
You shit yourself and get anal prolapse from all the effort


I have the power to give/change abilities

>>724814140
only your grandmas

i can kill nigger by thinking of them

>>724813601
Let's revise that. He can only save right before something terrible happens. The amount of time is just enough to realize what is about to happen, but not enough to do something about it.

>>724814099
You're shot, killed, and dissected to learn the secrets of your immortality
>immortal =/= invincible

>>724814140
but only while naked.

My anus can expand infinitely, making me capable of fitting the entire universe inside it.

>>724814112
an iceball with the opposite temparature (if you throw a 1000 degree fireball, its a -1000 degree ice ball) is fired at you

>>724814203
But you have to keep your mouth wide open and scream during the process

>>724814085
You have to touch their heart

>>724814223
only after they fuck your wife

>>724814215
...by breaking bones and let them cure again.

I can to through walls

>>724813557
The mutating of cells creates a horrific cancer

>>724814203
Everyone you look at has sever halitosis

>>724814282
you cant shrink it after expanding it

>>724813983
bumping my previous

>>724814282
only works on gay universes

>>724814333
Works only in space

>>724814223
Every time you think of a nigger, you become more of a nigger

I blow up prostates on contact.

>>724814260
That's not for you to decide and then post it for everyone who says immortality. There is a difference between immortality and biological immortality.

>>724813386
Only while animals are having sex.

Mind control

>>724814360
But you don't undrstand how does your own power work

>>724814282
You're in prison and the niggers explore your asshole.

I can read everyone's mind

>>724814353
but they only look at you

My cock can turn to gold

>>724813983
you die when you rewind

>>724814333
Whats that power again?

>>724814333
going through one causes you to have tiny amounts of the wall stuck in your body

>>724814085
They don't become friendly towards you, but to your enemies.

I never have to clean my anus after taking a shit and everything remains clean without any smell.

>>724814479
only your own mind

Complete power over everyone who has ever used /b/

>>724814507
man thats a really helpful and funny change

>>724814492
If you stick your finger in their asshole

>>724814492
they all think about raging homo steamy gay sex....with the volume on full blast

>>724814479
They know you are controlling their mind though.

I have the ability to double jump.

>>724814333
I can live with that. Just have to break my bones the first time to fix that

File: cmn.jpg (13KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 480x360px

The ability to spontaneously combust.

>>724814543
but when you shit it gous in your mouth

>>724814479
Only down syndrome kids and everyone you control one you get a bit more retarded.

Can lift everything

>>724814640
But it doesn't harm you, and you're not able to an hero with it.

>>724812647
Everytime you do that your weener gets smaller a quater inch.

My power would be to cause explosions on surfaces i touched with my hands
And i am able to control when the area explodes.

( and the no hand correction is kinda lame;)

>>724814543
Because your food is not absorbed by your body and you die a few days later

>>724814593
you gain a 12 inch cock that has erectile dysfunction

File: hayate48-02.jpg (10KB, 352x200px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 352x200px

>>724814495
>/b/aka

>>724814657
But you have to be asleep

i can have sex whit anyone i want

>>724814301
But what if the fireball is over 273.15 degrees Celcius? Nothing can get colder than -273.15 degrees.

>>724814669
except you have neural atrophy

>>724814784
Everyone you want to have sex with disappears from existence and your consciousness

Finder of lost objects (if it's in your anus, it will cost more)

>>724814669
Every time you start an explosion one of your limbs also explodes.

I'm invincimmortal.

>>724814784
you'll always be accused of rape afterwards, even if it is consensual.

I no longer need sleep.

>>724814785
>Applying logic to super powers

>>724814785
nothing WE HUMANS know of can get colder.

>>724814855
You lose another object that is yours and has consistent use to you

>>724814879
you become blind

>>724814879
but it only works when you are asleep

>>724814863
but you have to constantly be raped by a gorilla

I can do whatever i like in this universe, even transform everyones hair into a afrostyle if i wish

>>724814863
>I'm invincimmortal.
but you can no longer move.

>>>724811856
cunts

>>724811856
Immune to all stds

File: ReZero_14_1-700x385.jpg (18KB, 520x320px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 520x320px

>>724813601

>>724814884
Yes, and we know that nothing can get colder than an absolute absence of energy

>>724814879
You go into a coma

I don't have to reply to this post or your mother will die in her sleep, you however must.

>>724814863
You exist on a plane all your own, with nothing but endless, blinding white light all around you.

I'll never get in trouble for committing crime.

>>724814967
>Immune to all stds
but you can't have sex

Omnipotence with the added ability to instantaneously correct any problems that occur as a side effect or change to this power.

>>724814863
you get stuck in a slab of sement chest deep

>>724814945
But only for a quarter of a second once in your entire life.

I'm batman.

File: 1488918776852.jpg (108KB, 864x1013px) Image search: [Google]

108KB, 864x1013px

>>724811856
Im Marcel Heße

>>724815076
>but you have down syndrome
but you have down syndrome

>>724815088
your parents live

i can die instantly

>>724814945
Except you don't like to do anything
You can do whatever you "like", but since there's nothing you "like", you can't do anything

>>724815092
You're black.

>>724815136
Unfortunately, that's a direct contradiction to my stated power and is nullified.

>>724815088
You have to be a green frog puppet

>>724815147
only after deep throating Hulk's cock to completion, and only when hes COMPLETELY satisfied

>>724815045
But everyone still knows you did it.

>>724815045
You get in trouble for all the crimes you didn't commit.

>>724815188
oh no I was just stating a fact is all.

>>724815147
But you're immortal

I have no superpowers

You don't get in trouble for committing a crime? Not a superpower. U r a cop.

>>724815088
you have the best child hood ever.

>>724815076
The omnipotence was acquired later in life, so your being a retarded nigger had nothing to do with it.

>>724813500
But become autistic in the process

I become irresistible to women

>>724815240
That's a contradiction to his stated power and is nullified.

>>724815272
but you have downs

>>724815306
>I become irresistible to women
but you turn gay

>>724815306
the women become futanari and they all have dicks AT least 1 foot long

the ability to decide the outcome of every chance event.

>>724815376
Unfortunately, that's a direct contradiction to his stated power and is nullified, since they are no longer women.

>>724815272
You're also a gay top, but only take it up the ass from horses.

>>724815335
How?

>>724815435
But you are provided predetermined choices, and have no choice but to pick one or suffer unbearable pain.

>>724815443
dumbass, futanari are born women;

>>724815435
you think like a feminist

>>724815435
You always make the wrong decision

the ability to give women orgasms at any time by my mere thought alone.

>>724815504
He can't get in trouble for committing crime. It doesn't matter if they thought he committed someone else's crime, he still doesn't get in trouble.

>>724815335
>being this stupid

>>724814855
You lose your will to live.

Ironically you are late to each chance event

Breath has hypnotic affect on those around me

>>724815585
you have erectile disfunction

>>724815585
but they want to kill you whne you do.

i get everything i point at

>>724815435
nothing happens forever.

>>724815592
>>724815597

>>724815585
you yourself can never orgasm again

>>724815507
That's literally the plot to an anime.

I can summon anime girls to prostitute for money
And the girls require no sustenance other than sex juices

>>724815076
That power only exists in your imagination and some random nigger becomes that powers for real.

>>724815051
I obviously didn't think this one through

>>724815629
You forget that you can click on a post number to reply to it

>>724815658
you unconsciously only point at mirrors

>>724815692
They are all futas

>>724815700
Unfortunately, that's a direct contradiction to my stated power and is nullified.

>>724815692
they kill you in your sleep

>>724815629
They are hypnotyzed to kill you

i can only fly sometimes.

>>724815629
Not your breath, though.

>>724815658
You don't have any arms.

>>724815747
That could still make money

>>724815781
yeah but why though

>>724815827
only when you have a huge erection that everyone can see

>>724815747
thats no buenos

>>724815692
and this guy WATCHES a lot of porn

>>724815827
Only when you're asleep

>>724815827
Those "some times" are in random half-second intervals that are unforseeable

>>724815692
They're all 2D holograms.

>>724815902
Also a win/win situation?

>>724815576
well played

>>724815372
Kek

i get a faminist youtube channel whit 10million subs

>>724815916
>and this guy WATCHES a lot of porn
I fail to see how this is a downside

>>724815940
"sometimes"
and that doesnt necessarily hinder my powers

I can controle electromagnetic waves.

I have the ability to read and control minds

>>724816047
You get fucked with a toothbrush and are forced to listen to the fucker saying "Say NIGGER"

the ability to spawn a chaotic event that you have absolutely no control over

>>724816099
but only if you have a horse cock in your ass

>>724816099
But only when you are sleeping

>>724816099
Only after getting your head chopped of by ISIS.

>>724816099
everything is an insulator.

>>724815658
One time you accidently point at the sun.

>>724816099
Only a dim red light

>>724816047
Donate all your money to charity

>>724816136
Everytime you do it, you forget something

>>724816178
how creative

>>724816165
But each time you do it you lose a finger

>>724815890
because they're feminist and don't like prostitution

>>724816047
>i get a faminist youtube channel whit 10million subs
You can only produce feminist content, and never speak badly about feminism or leftist views anywhere.

>>724814503
It can't change back and you can never orgasm again.

Sleep at will in any place I want.

File: aid25879-728px-Hold-Your-Breath-for-Long-Periods-of-Time-Step-3-Version-2.jpg (30KB, 728x546px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 728x546px

you can stop time, but only for as long as you hold your breath

File: bites_za_dusto.jpg (35KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 480x480px

>>724816136
The first mind you come across is Hayato Kawajiri

I can hack any device in the world

>>724816298
i can't live like that

>>724816165
The event is all in your head so no one else feels it but you.

I poop diamonds

>>724816311
Vegeta cuts your head off

i wear speedos that grant me enhanced critical strike rates

>>724816300
But only for 5 minutes and you can't sleep any other way

>>724816311
but you also have asthma

>>724816300
>Sleep at will in any place I want.
you have a delay to use it again, depending on how long you slept.

>>724815692
you only get counterfeit money and everyone else knows it's counterfeit.

I'm flawless in what my own opinion of what flawless is, this causes everyone else to think I'm flawless too, and I'm impervious to changing, permanently tethered to our current existence, immortal and invincible, can't get sick, get laid as frequently as I like and everyone loves it, can't get in trouble, live a wealthy lifestyle with money to last until money isn't necessary or useful anymore, indestructible, and get whatever I want whenever I want it.

>>724814503
but it only does so, quite visibly and forcibly, when the price of gold is so high that people will kill for a gram of gold

>>724816360
They're big and covered in sharp edges

I can enter people's dreams and control them, and damage that I do to them transfers to the waking realm

>>724816360
you only can do so after chugging cum with lots and lots of hair in it

Have the ability to fuck any woman I want and make them have the biggest orgasm of their life

>>724816311
Because the air molecules are stopped to you can't move and choke after a few minutes which means time stops forever.

>>724816384
>i wear speedos that grant me enhanced critical strike rates
your hit rate is reduced significantly

>>724816465
>]
they are full blown MASOCHISTS

>>724816368
Goddamnit i was gonna post this

>>724816493
But you can't have any

>>724813601
so, just watch the news for 3 minutes? That's not much of a limitation.

>>724814548
but it only works for about an hour, and only once nobody has been called a faggot on /b/ for longer than a day

>>724816493
they orgasm out of pity

>>724816595
nigga that was gaaaaayy

>>724816493
But you dick can't feel anything anymore

>>724816493
>Have the ability to fuck any woman I want and make them have the biggest orgasm of their life
They will never remember who you are, once they leave.

>>724816415
The more your life is influenced by this power, the less motivated you become to do anything, and slowly lose the will to go on over time.

>Would probably happen even without the limitation, kek.

>>724816384
You have to shit a frying pan each time

>>724816415
...screamed the Stable Boy
Your girly screams make my throbbing cock double in length

RC planes and helicopters I use gain functioning guns and missiles

>>724816360
It hurts like hell, you'll never receive any money or credit for it, your life shortens by 10years and the Diamonds are as big as your head.

>>724816647
>orgasm out of pity

lel

>>724816631
you fucking faggot.

>>724816360
But each time you lose 5 points in IQ.

I can make other people get an acute need to take a dump.

>>724816580
So I can be a wet-dream for hire?

Nice

power of probability.

anything I attempt I can affect the probability that i will be successful in that endeavor.

i can change my bodyshape to whatever i want. dick included.

>>724816686
>implying this isn't a bonus superpower

>>724816465
You can only life in dreams

>>724814548
But you can only visit fag threads

>>724816698
>implying I even have the will to go on now

>>724816771
they poop diamonds

>>724816771
they immediately shit on your face

>>724816847
top lul

>>724814784
but you can't get it up

>>724816844
To transform every single bone and every single muscle in your body is as painfull as it sounds.

>>724816844
you only change to mechanical objects

>>724816847
I think you're underestimating it.

>>724816827
but you can only lower your chances of succes

I can duplicate myself and my clones are under my control

>>724816947
i can live with that.

>>724815030
fag

>>724816973
but. can i change back to bio form again?

>>724811856
The power to not have my superpower changed by anyone.

I can breath underwater but am terrified of fish and allergic to algae

>>724816827
The only probability becomes if Bubba the prison rapist will go easy on your ass or not

>>724816844
you don't want to change though

I can eat anything and it will nourish me and taste great

>>724817077
only after 1 hour per transformation

>>724816844
But you have that shape for a week.

Have the ability to make it rain in sahara at will.

>>724817083
but it's your only power

>>724817098
you can now only breathe underwater.

>>724817083
from the hours of 1am to 2 am

>>724817142
i would still take it. motersaw knees here i come!

>>724817144
Its only raining niggers

The power to grant wishes

>>724816982
The amount of clones is directly proportional to the amount of horsedicks you have to suck right down to the base

>>724817098
stop doing other people's jobs for them you nigger

I am the best fucking cook in the world

>>724817083
But you hate it just works if you say it out lout and you was born without a tongue

File: 18.jpg (107KB, 881x823px) Image search: [Google]

107KB, 881x823px

I emit an aura that causes all females within a meter of me to have the best, longest most intense orgasm possible that makes them fall to the ground and writhe in ecstasy for 3-5 minutes. Staying within my Aura for more than a minute stacks the affect with no cap.

>>724817279
the wishes are only asking you for sexual favors that you don't get pleasure from

>>724817260
that would be VERY VERY messy.

but all those nigger deaths would make very lush soil;

but it will probably curse all the land

>>724817083

but you have downs syndrome

>>724816982
The clones cannot do anything autonomously.

I have microwave hands

>>724817260
keked.

>>724816982
But only when you are naked.

The ability to make any woman pregnant at will.

>>724817345
But you must insert a large object in your asshole, the deeper it goes the better the orgasm to others

>>724817345
You have to feel all those orgasms at once and you're unable to comprehend that

Can speak, read, and write in any dialect

>>724817410
But they five you cancer

>>724817279
you get the same bastard everytime to grant wishes for and his wishes are very boring

>>724817466
you sound like a nig nog to everyone hearing or reading your work.

>>724817127
You have to eat all the time to avoid starving to death.

>>724812585
You can't controll the destination and all points in the universe are equally likely destinations

>>724817496
give*

>>724817466
all the nations speak the same dialect soon after

>>724817345
The absolute lack of any real intimacy with the opposite sex forces you to become a homosexual.

>>724817441
You, yourself, are sterile and cannot impregnate them with YOUR DNA

>>724816982
>I can duplicate myself and my clones are under my control
Your strength, stamina, speed, and health, are divided equally amongst all your clones, the pain and damage your clones receive is redirected to your original body.

I have the power to read peoples minds (as in experiencing their thoughts as my own while they happen)

i have X chance of ohko-ing anyone;

I have the power to travel great distances in mere seconds, think earth to Pluto in half a second

>>724817599
what lack of real intimacy?
>implying a woman having an orgasm isn't extremely intimate

File: tmp_5997-28d07256c680031c957ce57939ca5d4bb70273a75f61e2c852460c447b121392-389823693.jpg (30KB, 374x342px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 374x342px

Able to control electrons with my mind

>>724817684
It has a global radius and you can not turn it off, ever.

The ability to make everyone happy at will, but at the cost of my own happiness permanently.

>>724817752
youre only the size of 1 electron

>>724817739
The Pluto referenced is the cartoon dog, specifically his anus

>>724817752
You're super power drives you insane and you lose control of your mind.

>>724816331
unfortunately ww3 happens and nobody uses technology anymore

>>724817345
But they will all geT pregnant and you will be required to pay child support for them.

The power to erase all religions.

>>724817797
and you have a small dick

>>724817752
But as soon as you stop they become highly unstable and blow up

>>724811856
I can make 4chan great again

Being irresistable to women, so i could get my ex hopelessly in love with me, just to completely and utterly crush her, mentally, like she did to me.

>>724817797
you bear through the harshness of reality and become a great leader for all of future mankind to remember.

>>724817781
That's fantastic haha

>>724817752
You can only manipulate up to ten electrons at once.

File: tmp_5997-642c03044e3198254deada9542630f3a-502888485.jpg (12KB, 236x178px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 236x178px

Always have the newest tech

>>724816415
you're trump

>>724817879
they develop new world order instead

>>724813956
>J-j...
kys

>>724817879
But you're the only one who now knows that God really exists

>>724817742
Any woman in your radius drops to the ground.
Say goodbye to sex. Say goodbye to relationships. Say goodbye to your anal virginity, because men are now the only people who can give you a heartfelt hug are men.

Speaking of which. Say goodbye to your moms hugs.

Honestly, are you 12?

>>724817943
but you're still a cuck

>>724817722
This "X" is gonna give it to ya

>>724817797
THAT IS NOT HOW THESE THREADS WORK

Also my power is to get the latter fucker to know that he posts a power and the other people have to make the downsides for that power

>>724817924
You get auto-b& any time you try to post

>>724817466
No one can understand what you mean anymore.

>>724817684
but the power only works on women who are in the act of being raped.

>>724818063
Jokes on you, I'm never happy :^)

>>724817924
It gets as good as it ever was (which was not that great tbh) for, like, a day and then reverts back to its natural state.