hey /b/ comfortably drunk and in need of some good reading. It's

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>>724771829
shameless self bump. come on gang

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>>724771829
you know you wanna spill them beans, boy

Probably the time I fucked an underrage girl and then ghosted her. The fucked up thing about it was that she lied before we went out but after texted me her real age and that she was pregnant but got an abortion since we hung out. I told her it was fine. Banged her and blocked her on everything when I got home

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>>724772045
jesus christ.
you didn't greentext but i forgive

>>724772129
Thank you for absolving. Wanted to keep the thread alive so I didnt greentext. Is what I did that evil?

>>724772238
I mean, it kinda depends on the actual age. ghosting is a remnant of ancient humanity so people can't really get mad about it kek

I once entered a store through the exit door

>>724772389
Im only 19 myself and she was 17 so I dont think it was too terrible

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>>724772470
Jesus mate. Calm your tits, no need to be so savage.

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>>724772485
nah man, life goes on

>>724772470
on accident?

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>>724772661
...Yes.

>>724771829
I let the dogs out.

I stole about $400 from my sister (she didn't do anything to deserve it) and blamed it on my brother (he deserved it though).

>>724772787
is this a fucking joke

>>724772724
well that's better than if you meant yo do it.

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Me and my friend pretended we were a girl on World of Warcraft for free gold from a guy. It eventually got totally out of hand where he was genuinely in love with us (who he thought was one person) and bought us a plane ticket to Mexico and a wedding ring.

We hacked his account and stole all of his stuff because he was in love with us and trusted us with his password. He logged on completely shattered and shortly after we never heard from him again.

Pretty fucked up. But it's arguably more fucked up that he fell in love with two young boys pretending to be an adult woman. I dunno. It's all so fucked in retrospect.

>>724772787
did any get hit by a car?

>>724772796
green text my man. and more details, why did he deserve it? soap opera that shit for me boi

>>724772485
lol thats perfectly normal i thought she was younger than that

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>>724772857
how old were you guys? it was probably innocent at first and you guys just got excited about fooling someone and it went too far. i wouldn't worry too much about it, shit happens. kids are kids yk

>>724772485

17? I fucked a 17 year old when I was 26, but it's legal in europe and her body was amazing so I don't care. She peaked that year lmao

>>724772857
that will teach him a lesson
1 dont trust anybody on intetnet
2 dont trust bitches

>>724772857
Are you saying that the fact that you duped hom into loving you was worse than the theft or that HE'S fucked up for falling in love with you?

>>724772989
I'm telling

>>724772987
13 or something.

ive assaulted people on two occasions
living the waste life

Nothing evil but it's something that I will never forget, if it's something you wanna read.

>Year 2008
>Be me. in 12th grade towards the end of the school year. Ready to get school over with.
>Some sort of Year-end party is being planned by all the sports jocks.
>I get invited.
>I attend party.
>Girl named Destiny is at this party. (name important for later)
>Destiny gets shitfaced drunk. AnonJock takes her to her a room and she blows him.
>Destiny pukes all her chili dog lunch all over AnonJock's dick. LOL.gif
>AnonJock comes out the room covered in vomit, tells everyone what happened.
>Monday rolls by. I almost forget about the hot dog incident.
>1st period start. Teacher starts up the classroom television because the weekly school news broadcast is about to start, which operates from within the school.
>Two student news 'anchors' are on screen.
>One anchor takes his hoodie off to reveal a T-Shirt reading "Chili Dog Special". Turns around to show off the backside, reading "It's Your Destiny"
>SchoolWideKEK.jpg
>Destiny is distraught over it and seeks counseling that week. Parents come to school principal to see what is going on. Apparently Destiny couldn't bring any of it out to parents.
>Principal finds out about the whole ordeal and explains to Destiny's parents what happens.
>Never see or hear from Destiny ever again.

>>724773030
All of it. We knew what we were doing was mean as fuck, but we kinda disassociated it from any sort of real human interaction until the guy either became an hero or quit the game because of us

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>>724772485
>17

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>>724771829
>be 13
>hate my step brother with a passion, fuck his greasy ass face
>wrestle with morals all day because I was raised well
>decide, fuck that. They got divorced so I can have a little fun, fuck them
>put the toothbrush literally on the rim of my asshole and scrub until it's uncomfortable
>just starting puberty so that shit was fucking r a n k
>made him brush his teeth that night (I was in charge)
>watched and slowly realized how very unsatisfying it was
>tucked him in well because I felt bad
>still hate him somehow
>my life makes no sense
>I am not important
>I want to die
>fuck

>>724772929
She was fucked honestly. Did a cam girl stuff for a while and her boyfriend stole the money but she couldn't do anything about it cause underrage
>>724772989
Atleast you got in there while she peaked my man

>>724773187
ty for the greentext and HOLY SHIT I would pay good money to witness that irl that's funny af dude.

>>724773187
you have TVs in your classrooms?

>>724773144
>ive assaulted people on two occasions
>living the waste life
i assaulted this guy twice.
living the payback life

>>724772840
>>724772891
Apparently it was a big deal. It became a hit song. I think the dogs caused a lot of trouble.

>>724773481
seriously unreal. you should write a memoir

>>724772893
>Was leaving for college.
>Brother is known for stealing from the family.
>He stole money (hundreds of dollars for in-game shit), my mom's ring to sell, money at opportune times so checks for rent, electricity, ect. bounced (costing even more hundreds in overage fees).
>parents were shit at giving punishments. Would ground him, then say nevermind 2 days later.
>Knew where little sister kept money.
>Took it, blamed it on him.

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Maybe 2 years ago i had a pet that had an op to remove a growth.
The healing process didn't go well as she kept trying to chew out her stitches so i had to stay awake and be with her 24/7.
After about a week of trying to stay awake and obviously failing she did manage to take the stitches out so she had to go back to the vets where they stapled the wound closed.
This didn't stop her and she kept trying to chew.
The evil is here; I lost my patience with her.
I shook her, yelled for her to stop. I even hit her, i hit her hard enough for her to get scared and actually bite me.

I broke down after that, apologizing and crying to this little creature and you know what, she crawled up to me and started to console me by grooming me. After that abuse, she was the one to treat me with kindness.
Then she took out the stitches and staples after i passed out from fatigue so it was back to the vets for a 3rd time.

I used that time to actually get some sleep and peace. I knew when she was ready to be picked up but i waited an extra few hours since i knew this would be the last moments of stress free time, hell i even had a quick wank.

When i got to the vet like 3 hours late, they called me in the back, she was fine after the anesthesia up until a few mins ago and had lost conciseness.
She died there, alone, probably scared and wondering where i was. Her final 2 weeks being in pain and abused by me.

I can blame the fatigue, lack of sleep or what ever but the fact is in the end A FUCKING RAT was a better more patient human than i was.

That thought has traumatized me ever since. I ended up getting a tattoo of her recently as some form of penance, to ease my own guilt. It didn't work.

I'm not here for any absolution, this is the first and only time i will talk about this with anyone.

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>>724773416

Tube TVs hangin from the ceiling exactly like this.

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Ugh I can tell you about the time I changed my high school grades.

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>>724772045
> underrage girl

>>724773589
damn, those are some strong feelings for a rat
like i could old yeller my dog if i had too

>>724771829
I met two ugly girl best friends. I flirted with both. I hung out with both. I told them each when it when I was with just the one "I would date you, but I think your friend might get mad." I then eventually banged them the same day (no, not at the same time). The fallout was they feuded over and over. Neither knew I did it for shits and giggles. Now that I'm a little older, I kind of feel bad about that. I played a lot of cruel pranks in my time.

>>724773582
I think it is really interesting that other people have average, every day lives that revolve around shitty people and misguided motives. humanity is bigger than we like to think. good on your for the revenge tho

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>>724773629
right

>>724772857
Moon guard bro is that you?

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>>724773589
Dude I know dat feel. The few times I accidentally hurt one of my pets is burned into my memory harder than any other retarded things I did

>>724773589
I know you don't want absolution, but everyone loses it with pets. Seriously most people I know have fucked up and regret it. Sometimes you just get tired or fed up and shit happens. What's important is that it taught you patience. If she was actually conscious of your decisions and alive today, she would forgive you man. She consoled you for a reason. don't be sad man life is short

fucked my best friend's little sisters.
and then his girlfriend.

we don't talk much anymore.

>>724773629
perry meridian? lol

>>724773924
Wait did you say sisters, plural?
I request the highest of fives

>be 13
>use Furcadia because it was good for cybersex
>didn't much care for the furry part. Sex is sex.
>played as a girl character
>cyber with a guy frequently
>Guy was around 21
>Lets call guy "wolf" for now
>we get married in game
>still cyber every day
>Genuinely considers me his significant other
>Obviously I couldn't care less
>Decide to cyber with someone else
>He finds out I did it.
>Has a literal mental break down
>His sister (his IRL fucking sister) contacts me and says he's in a mental ward
>Feel bad and stay around for his sake
>he returns after like 3 weeks
>make another character for RP.
>RP a rape scene with the character.
>RP like I'm crying in the room
>another person walks into the room
>it was wolf's sister
>she brings me back to a dream where the guy and my character were at to introduce me
>RP like I was a rape victim
>they find out we're the same two people
>Guy goes bat shit, gets in his car and travels to some random guys house thinking it was the guy who ''raped'' me.
>Sister tells me to call him and calm him down and tell him to go home.
>Put on my best girl voice
>Call him
>It works.
>I used to think he was playing it up to be a drama queen and his sister was an alt
>Call him again to make sure he was ok because I felt bad
>His sister answers.
>Ohshitthisisrealnigga

>>724773939

Not even close. Had to google that, didn't know what that name was.

Your mum m8.

>>724773924
You jerk. You should have invited him to 3 way with them. You left him out. Also, you didn't invite his sister to have fun with his girlfriend with you. You have to be considerate of other people. Did you at least give him a video of sex with his sister and-or girlfriend? No? No wonder he doesn't talk to you.

>>724773772
Yeah it wasn't nice to my sister, but I'll survive. She wound up getting married and had 3 kids by 25, and I tried talking her out of it, so I feel balance has been restored.

>>724771829
farted in church

Has America developed a facial recognition system that can pinpoint people, and at the same time bombard them with GPS laser guided microwave magnetic harmonic resonance? That can target an indefinite amount of people in the millions all at once. Would that be more than a thousand points of light? Did Russia think we stopped developing weapons after the cold war, or japan or when the USSR broke up? Does this mean we could theoretically vibrate and fry a whole nation of people at one time, or one individual? You can do the math. You don’t obviously think those Samsung phones caught on fire by themselves. And to think there are things that are not even talked about out loud

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>>724773589
I feel your pain, Have had rats and can say they are the most amazing animals. Reading your story confirms this. I want to say somthing to make you feel a little better but i know it wont work. In conclusion Rats>human.

>>724773589
Fuck, that's horrible man. But still... You have to move on, just like she has

>>724774010
honestly thank you for saying "couldN'T care less" that shit has always bothered me. but as for the stroy are you fucking serious? what happened?

A viewing apparatus capable of bouncing magnified images back off of reflective suffices to enable the wearer to see 360 degrees on x y and z planes all at once and around corners

>>724774120
just fuck off

I wonder could Electromagnet pulses fired coupled with radar pick up things hidden from radar, or could Electroencephalogram be paired with radar to image objects hid by radar.

>>724774120
yet the government can't find wanted suspects instantly, it actually takes them months or years. Do you really believe this shit? Like I'm not against it, but the proof just isn't there my man

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>>724774120
>>724774227

>>724773589
You're a fuckin' pussy.

>>724773589
My brother left the door open and our dog got out. He was hit by a car. Died shortly after.
I hate him for that, but ultimately it was a mistake.

I wonder how he's handling it.

I wonder could intercontinental missiles be developed with radar hiding capabilities that are incorporated into jets in order to blow places like Russia or Dubai off the map.

>in a crowded grocery store parking lot waiting for guy to pull out so I could park.
>guy pulls out but because of the way he pulled out some mid-50 y/o Asian bitch in a Lexus SUV steals the spot.
>wait behind her car until she gets out
>cuss her out
>she says something back in some language I don't even recognize
>drive off and after few minutes find another spot
>do my grocery shopping, pay and leave
>drive by her car and realize I have dozen eggs in my grocery bag
>egg her car with one
giggling.wav all the way home.

>>724774316
nah bruh. you can throw that word around all you want but the fact is that every emotion we feel is a chemical reaction and the more you try to deny our natural existence, the more you are denying your own humanity lol. That fact he can be that upset about an emotional connection with a creature is evidence of advancement

Does anyone else only remember a few key moments of their life?

I'm 27 and only remember maybe 15 things happening to me pre-18.

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>>724774326
>I wonder how he's handling it.

I have quite a few, but i'll start with one of my fonder memories

>in committed relationship with gf for 3 years
>live togetgether, but she doesn't put out enough to satisfy me
>talking like once a week tops
>chat up underage girls online whenever she's out of the housd or asleep
>progress from chat rooms to actually trawling social media
>start chatting to an azn 'gamer' girl (she played pokemon and thought that qualified, kek)
>she says she's 16, which is legal here
>tell her im 24, she's cool with it
>talk for a while about innocent stuff, i steer the conversation towards sex using my very honed manipulation skills
>find out she's interested in bdsm, but isn't ready to try it yet
>is willing to let me fuck her however i want though
>jackpot.gif
>arrange to pick her up and take her back to mine on a sarurday during the daytime
>force her to gag on my cock
>go down on her
>fuck her without a condom
>when she's riding me i notice blood leaking down my cock
!>oshit, she's a virgin
>fuck her even harder and start fingering her ass
>tell her im going to fuck her ass (she's unsure)
>i lube up and start easing it in
>she says it hurts, i ignore and start pounding
>switch back to pussy for a bit until im about to cum
>ask where she wants it
>"idc just dont get me pregnant"
>jackpot.png
>pull out, slam balls deep back in her ass and start hammering away till i cum
>have a shower, then drop her off at the nearest busstop and hurry back to wash my sheets
>blood and shit stains on my sheets
>gross.jpg
>gf gets home later in the day, doesnt suspect a thing
>ghost azn and never see her again

I sometimes fap whilst reminiscing about how i was the first man to venture in all her holes, and that she most likely didnt enjoy it.

Have other experiences if anyone's interested

>>724774326
fuckin text him rn I wanna know

> Be me
> 18 at the time
> chilling with friend and a couple chicks on their front porch
>Notice a guy walking through the parking lot across the street
> girls tell us to beat him up
> friend looks at me for approval
> I pull out small canister of mace and agree
> while approaching see he has a plastic bag with something in it
> my friend runs to that side of him and grabs at bag
> i run to opposite side and mace his eyes point blank
> bag rips and a six pack of beer rolls out
> we get a couple punches each before he pulls out a blade
> slices at my friend and gave a nasty gash on his arm
> we back off and pick up the beer cans
> start throwing them full strength
> beam him right in the face with one
> knocks him out cold
> stomp the shit out of his face
> blood leaking from entire face
> got the fuck outta there

>>724774326
DO IT BITCH TEXT HIM

>>724774435
Still a pussy though.

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>>724774316
you are meat & shit
resume decomposing elsewhere you disgusting compost of filth.

>>724771829
᠎ ᠎
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᠎ ᠎ ᠎
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᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎

᠎ ᠎ ᠎
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᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎᠎ ᠎

᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎

᠎ ᠎ ᠎᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ farted in this thread ᠎ ᠎᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎
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᠎ ᠎ ᠎
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᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎

᠎ ᠎ ᠎
᠎ ᠎ ᠎
᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎᠎ ᠎

᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎ ᠎

>>724774010

>>724774186
Dont worry. Just needed more room to tell the story.

cont.
>a few months go by and we still cyber.
>start to get bored with cybering on furcadia but dont want to leave because I'd feel bad for hurting wolf
>Come up with a creative way to get out of it
>Make another alternate character
>This persona was an IRL friend we'll call "Dog"
>introduce irl friend to wolf
>wolf gets super jealous of IRL friend.
>whispers things like "If you touch her I'll come to your house and rape you."
>spoiler: he never finds me.
>wolf is now super depressed that I am friends with a guy who is not him
>constantly talk about him like he was a big deal
>Make him feel like shit, on purpose at this point
>I do this to make me look like shit to end it properly
>Really its just making him feel like shit, and ultimately abusive.
>keep up the cherade for about two weeks
>Tell wolf that me and Dog are now dating.
>Longest essay I have been ever instant message ensued
>Like literally it was 15 pages
>I used to have it in a email, but that email is now inaccessible. Sorry.
>It ends with him saying he'd kill me if he ever found me, and that he was working on it
>knew he was full of shit.
>I tell him the full truth about me.
>He keeps acting depressed and cant believe I led him on for this long
>This has been going on for a solid 6-7 months

One more post and I'll be done and it'll be blatant why this is the "worst thing I've ever done."

>>724771829
stole around 5 grand worth of TF2 items from various people back in 2012

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Sometimes I give terrible advice because I want you to fail

>>724771829
When I was 21 I fucked my sister's friends. My little sister's friends. I let my little sister and her friends hang out at my house. They were all 11-13. I had a "if there's grass on the field and mounds up top, play ball." rule. I almost banged my little sister at that time too. We were drunk and she put on the brakes "Hold up, you're my brother." I just stopped and said "Oh yeah. Oops." and went into the other room and did a no-foreplay banging of her fat friend. Fat friend was shocked as she was the only one I was almost ignoring. When the cops caught wind, they all covered for me.

>>724774461
losing memory is sad, but honestly you shouldn't let it get to you. you can't control 99% of the things in your life so just chill and pursue what makes you feel good. People tell me stories of shit I did in highschool all the time that I don't remember whatsoever. I'm the same way. but don't sweat it man.

>>724774489
>> girls tell us to beat him up

you're a fucking beta

work for the CIA

HUEHEUEHEUHEUEHUEHUEHEUHEUHE

I believe that one day people will have the ability to experience what everyone has ever thought or saw throughout all of existence at one time. I believe that just as MIR machine can project an image onto a screen of what a person thinking that when people see or think something that it leaves an energy footprint and just as people can look into the past with telescopes that the interface between AI and human will become so powerful that they will be able to access these energy signals that continue to exist in space all at one time

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>>724771961
>tattooing your dirty asshole

>>724774512
See
>>724774500

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>>724774500
Your mouth after your dad finishes his latest toughness inducing face fucking

>>724774474
>Have other experiences if anyone's interested

naw

>>724774461
nigga i don't remember shit (im 20)
it must be the alcohol
none of it was worth remembering anyway

>>724774607
Betas don't get in fights tough guy

>>724771829
if this thread wasn't full of lies and bullshit I'd actually share my things

>>724774690
See
>>724774500

Toxic Blood/Nerve Agent Liquid

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DIMETHYL CARBINOL - 29$

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Mix all above ingrediants into pot/pan and turn to 500, capture gases into an enclosed container or ignite gases using a flame/spark mechanism to violently explode

>>724774474
Yeah no, nobody's interested in your fevered teenage sex dreams

>>724774690
that bitch got rocked

>>724774477
It's 5 am there and I don't know his number.

He was 12 at the time btw.

When people become accountable, for the people that they hold accountable, for unaccountable activities that the people doing the accounting are doing. Then and only then, can we as a rice of people, really balance the ledger, with a true accounting of accountability. Because I believe that one day maybe not in my lifetime but one day all people will be held accountable for their actions! Not just the poor but the people that exploit, to prop up the lifestyles of the middleclass and the rich which do most of the exploiting. Then when there is no need for accountability in this regard, people can focus on more important things. Because let’s face it we could all do with one less worry, that has so many unproductive confluence of influences, on many facets of existences. Like we could do that, I guess we are or I’m not just that intelligent

>>724774811
Doesn't really bother me if you believe it or not, OP asked for fucked up things i've done, so i posted one. Do you want to hear about what sent me to prison?

>>724774776
I understand man. honestly disappointed. I made this image like yeeeears ago and it always got good, believable stories. b really is dead :/

>>724774599
Well post-18 is super clear (comparatively), which is weird, I think.

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>>724774890
It's not about believing it's just boring that's what

>>724774916
hey, my stories are legit.

The lack of memories, the stolen cash and the dog getting hit by car are all real.

>>724774563

>wolf starts guilt tripping me.
>acting like I'm the worst human being
>fair enough, honestly.
>in my defense wolf was batshit insane
>I basically snap for some reason and tell him:
> "If you want someone to genuinely love you then stop acting bat shit insane and IP tracking people. You are 21 and I am 13 and you act like a child. I kept this act up because I felt bad. I put this ruse up so you wouldn't feel bad about losing me. But now I don't care. You are crazy and don't deserve love. There is no one on this planet who would love you, not even your mom. Do the world a favor: after I block you kill yourself."
>Word for word what I told him, but replace the proper grammar with 13 year old grammar
>cut to a week later.
>still using the same character
>get a PM
>Its his sister
>"Oh boy... I'm guessing she's gonna tell me that wolf wants me dead or something."
>"Wolf killed himself last night. We're gonna take you to court because he didn't kill himself. You murdered him. I was gonna send you an essay about this, but you aren't worth it. See you in jail asshole. We got your number so it'll be easy. Bye!"
>Replace good grammar with bad grammar again.
>I called them from a pay phone. The best they could do is trace what city I called from
>Yes pay phones were still a thing in my city when I was younger
>Its been 11 years since this happened. They never found out who I was
.
I'm now a 23 year old man with a degree in computer forensics with a full time job in "back tracing." Always found it ironic that I chose this career path. because I've had to accumulate evidence for trials similar to my crime on a regular basis. Granted, what I did was not a crime and I would never go to jail for it anyways.

stole a computer from my school when i was like 13

>>724774916
>>724775100
But yeah, /b/ has tanked. Almost no one uses "/" when saying /b/.

>>724775155
I bet he didn't kill himself

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>>724775198

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>>724775155
>You are crazy and don't deserve love. There is no one on this planet who would love you, not even your mom.
I tell myself this every day.

>>724771829
Pretended I had cerebral palsy to get a free cab rid home from a club, the fact I was completely wasted helped the act a lot.

>>724775434

That's some "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" shit. lol

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46KB, 164x129px

>>724775220
I thought so too. But the sister kept trying to contact me on different alternate accounts. (she was bad at hiding her grammar.) I also found it weird that wolf made 0 attempt to contact me (if he was alive) I ultimately just made a new account, used that for a year and gave up on furcadia because I made irl friends in high school.

I know its not concrete proof, but that further makes me believe its real.

>>724775496
ahahaha fuck

>drive a creepy rape van equipped with twin hadley air horns.
>pull up behind 16 year old girl in a early 90's vw cabriolet.
>at a red light.
>she's not paying attention and texting on her phone.
>think it would be funny to make her jump.
>blast my horns.
>she panics and floors it right into the busy intersection without looking.
>gets t-boned be a full sized chevy truck doing 45mph.
>she never stood a chance.
>I drove away slowly, went home and ate dinner.

I'm a pretty boring fuck, but I suppose the worst thing I ever did was plan to cheat on my girlfriend with a gay guy, then my phone stabbed me in the heart because the home screen was a picture of her and I broke down crying for like an hour, because she was so beautiful and so kind, and the gravity of the thing I was doing hit me all at once. I didn't go through with it, and every day since I've done my best to be the great guy that a girl like her deserves, because I don't fuckin deserve her, I know that much.

>>724775776
kek

>>724775776

dinner is important.

>>724773666
How'd you do that, Satan?

>>724772989
Is your name Jordan Van Dear Slot??

I fucked an ex's sister multiple times, but everyone was so sure she wouldn't do it that it was like a get out of jail free card.

>>724772661
Do you mean by accident you illiterate fuck!

>>724772470
Fucking Christ man, I don't think I can read anymore

>>724772787
Who?

>>724775220
Seconded

>>724777930
What? So your ex killed herself by getting hit by a train cause she thought you killed yourself? I don't get it

>>724775776
>be pretty girl
>be 16
>daddy buys me VW Cabriolet for sweet 16
>"Femanon, be careful. Assholes are everywhere." dad tells me
>think it's weird that dad calls me "femanon"
>"You will know assholes by their bradley air horns" dad continues
>"Like Bradley Cooper"
>tee-hee.png
>dad doesn't think it's funny
>getting_so_turned_on.exe
>excuse myself and schlick using sharpie in pooper
>"take my pooper, Bradley Cooper!" I shout, coming harder than I ever have before
>dad mistakes moans for sound of bradley air horn
>oh_shit.jpg
>embarassment makes me come even harder...
>develop bradley air horn fetish
>someday_I_will_meet_my_prince.azw
>and_that_prince_will_be_driving_a_rape_van_equipped_with_bradley_air_horns_and_he_will_take_me_out_of_my_spoiled_rich_girl_car_and_into_the_back_of_his_rape_van_and_sodomize_me_while_telling_me_a_story_about_something_that_happened_behind_the_scenes_on_Limitless.not_a_virus.exe
>at bust intersection
>look up and see my prince
>spontaneously orgasm just as he sounds his bradley (cooper) horns
>leg spasm causes me to jet into oncoming traffic, where I am killed
>tfw he will never known the feeling of contenment that comes from the warmth of my teenage asshole
>tfw heaven is filled with sharpies and Bradley-Cooper lookalikes
>tfw they all drive rape vans
>tfw they take me in the back of their vans and fuck me silly, blasting their bradley (cooper) horns when I come

>>724775155
He was bonkers and would have done it anyway.

>>724776794
Aw...she covered the best part!

>>724778053
Basically. I can only assume they succeeded but I never really wanted to find out.

>>724778347
Ah, I see.. Yeah attach the screenshot, not like we haven't seen worse in rekt threads; plus no-one has personal ties with said picture.

>>724778138
you tried too hard.

>Be me
>Decide to suicide
>Tell friend about it and decide to kill myself with toaster in bath
>Fuck it up smoke alarm goes off
>Run before cops come
>Decide to not go alone
>Kill a little boy
>mfw it felt good
>Decide to go on
>Get in to this fat bitchs home
>She fights like a fucking bear but menaged to pus him down.
>Torture her for creditcard passwords and shit
>Ended up killing her too
>Mfw I will make it cops can't get me now

>I shot a man in Reno

>>724771829
Convinced my ex to babbort our babby because i didnt want it, she has schizophrenia and i convinced her i was channeling the spirit of her dead father, broke up with her years later and no babby baggage, shit was cash

>>724778522
Or did I not try hard enough? It's actually very hard to tell.

When i was a kid i punched a girl in the face and made her nose bleed. Thats about it, all i do is computer

I loitered in a place with a no loitering sign once, shit was so cash.

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>>724778476
Scrolled through so much old shit to get this

>>724775155

You did the rest of the human race a favour.

>>724772857
>Hacked
Having access to a fucking password because someone gave it to you is not hacking, you faggot,

>13
>High School
>Beef w/ blind kid (I was harassing)
>He says smartass remarks back
>Kind of offends me in front of shit tier bully friends
>attackblindkid.exe
>Knock him down
>Literally jump on his head
>Get suspended

I still feel like a fucking piece of shit for this, Also I never really bullied kids I was just a poorfag who hang out w/ shit kids at a new school, No excuse though I am a shit person.

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>>724771829
>Be me at 20, walking the highlands of Scotland
>Walk up a range of mountains called the Mamores
>Nice sunny day, hot as fuck after climbing one in particular
>lie down at top and get breath back
>sit near edge because I think I'm brave
>start launching rocks off cliff, around 3-4 minutes
>There's people climbing it, around 400 feet below
>already hit a couple of them without realizing
>finally wind changes direction and I hear shouts
>See literal carnage below, claret everywhere
>one guy limp hanging from rope
>two other guys holding him up on said rope
>I realize it was me, and see far down the track more people coming up
>runlikefucktheotherway.png
>make it back to Fort William in a few hours
>talk of an accident
>one guy dead and two seriously injured after falling off cliff
>location sounds familiar
>Feels bad
>take ferry to Skye
>stay a few days
>read local paper
>two other guys tell of rockfall that killed their friend
>caused their fall too thereafter
>Off the hook for manslaughter
>tell no-one until now
>Don't feel bad at all
>Still dream of it sometimes
>climbing is dangerous, they found out the hard way.

>>724779694
Survival of the fittest, pussy.

>>724779791
Kek'd

>>724779791
Nice shot m8.

>>724779192
On the bright side, now back on good terms with the friend who sent me this.
Thanks for sending me through that again /b/ro

>>724774010
Autism is one hell of a drug

>>724779192
>>724780259
Delete that screenshot, immediately. You posted the number on it, quick. Click the little white square on the top left of your post then click Delete at the bottom right

I killed 2 people the last 2 days..

>>724778613
Just to watch him die?

>>724780622
Darn it

>>724780622
Meh, number is old and the post can't be deleted. Best move is to del yours.

>>724781357
nah it's not your fault I'm still basically newfag. I know I did some shady shit and all I can do now is try to be better

>>724781499
Haha yeah, could tell from the way you tried to le meme arrows. That's good anon, I hope things look up for you, best of luck out there.

>>724781600
thanks lad

>>724771829
>fucked best friend's gf before, during and after they started dating
>burned insects and small animals alive when i was little

>>724771829
Your mom jokes

>>724779192
>Today 1:26 pm
Y u lie to us

>>724781812
u got me lmao
but seriously, timezones m8. it's midnight here.

>>724771829
Raped a few girls. Made a girl extremly emotionaly dependant on me. Lived off of her. Had her take out multiple 5k loans to play with, totaled her car, cheated on her. Left her once i found something better

>be me
>college senior
>star forward on rugby squad
>could clear a scrum with force
>6'4" 220 or so
>meet history prof in lab while TAing
>hit it off
>start dating
>already have a gf, live in large city so easy to do this as a studebt
>keeps going for a few months
>she's really into it. One of the most caring good people ill ever meet
>wants me to fly to London to meet her fam
>I get scared and ghost
>she's confused, crushed
>leaves me the saddest most on point vm of all tkme
>still feel guilty to this day

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