How often do you think about suicide?

File: I'mfine.jpg (588KB, 663x975px) Image search: [Google]

588KB, 663x975px

Never.

i just watch k-on instead

>>724541630
Whenever I think about it

>>724541630
Inferior method to death by combat, your ancestors will appreciate the spectacle especially if you fight a unforgivable enemy

File: 9.png (260KB, 489x581px) Image search: [Google]

260KB, 489x581px

>>724541691
Something tells me you're lying.

>>724541694
The end is so sad tho

dont it just make ya wanna kys?

>>724541700
Whenever is that?

>>724541630
i have a lot of guns. sometimes i think about how easy it would be. then i remember that suicide by gun is a statistic liberals use to lie about "gun violence" and the thought passes.

File: hurting.jpg (47KB, 723x691px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 723x691px

>>724541785
I'm telling you, I never think about suicide.

Ever...

File: 1488606054590.gif (488KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]

488KB, 500x375px

>>724541630
Less and less nowadays.

It's not my life that I want to end, it's the situation I'm in. It's a mistake to associate these things, and therefore creating the deadly tunnel vision.

File: zooidbrg.png (18KB, 548x420px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 548x420px

i think the more important question is how often suicide thinks about me? it doesn't call and never writes, therefore it's simply unfair to justify a position in my life for it.

I'm sitting in my room right now trying to build the courage to go through with it but my knife is dull and I'm too much of a fucking pussy to push real hard.

File: zoidbrg.jpg (27KB, 400x303px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 400x303px

>>724541965

you should try standing, it may respect you well enough to make it easier on you.

>>724541965
but you cant shitpost when youre ded

>>724541785
it's not what yui or azunyan, or even best girl mio would want

File: 210.png (266KB, 483x541px) Image search: [Google]

266KB, 483x541px

>>724541838
What makes you think about suicide in the first place though?

>>724541853
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rOiW_xY-kc

>>724541862
Death is still the easiest way out.
Choosing the easy way is what got you where you are now so..

>>724542125
I try not to intentionally shitpost.

>>724542158
wheres the fun in that?

File: 343.png (234KB, 381x519px) Image search: [Google]

234KB, 381x519px

>>724541965
Dude, have you ever tried to cut yourself deep?
I tried once and lemme tell you: IT FUCKEN HURT
I thought I could bear it for the relatively short time it would take for me to bleed to death but damn was I wrong.
Couldn't even get myself to cut that deeply either.

>>724542146
They wouldn't want you to join them in animu-land?
O-oh.. even qt animus hate you..

>>724542260
There's no fun in anything.

want story tiem?

>>724542150
.. so I shouldn't make the same mistake again?

>>724542150
just that it would be easy. i have no desire to kill myself. just the idea that one second youre here and in a fraction of a second later you arent is interesting to me.

>>724541630
Every day. I'd say I have about a year left before the feeling overtakes me and I do it

>>724542299
I don't know if I even want to die, but I want people to care and know I'm serious which is why I choose cutting myself other asphyxiation. I'm still a fucking pussy. I just hate myself. My life is a cruel joke.

File: 366.png (236KB, 453x379px) Image search: [Google]

236KB, 453x379px

>>724542158
I try not to not intentionally shitpost on accident.

>>724542303
Masturbating is fun.
Kinda.

>>724542312
Hokay. I'll listen/read. Can't promise I'll reply tho.

>>724542303
have you looked extra hard?

>>724542353
l'appel du vide

>>724542453
precisely

>>724541630
Only when I see this thread.

>>724541630
every day

>>724542437
Yep. I've been depressed my whole life. Mom died when I was 13 but before (and after) that I was verbally abused by kids at school and verbally and physically abused by my family. I recently fell in love with a girl who makes me happy and she would hug me a lot, say I love you, give me lots of signs and so I finally just asked her about it and she said she just sees me as a good friend. I'm never going to be happy. I want to be desperately but it's not going to happen.

>>724542299
If only the world of k-on was what awaited me in the afterlife

But no. Nothing of this world is pure enough for that

>>724541630
every time I fap to loli.

I fucking hate my self.

File: 7.png (283KB, 515x573px) Image search: [Google]

283KB, 515x573px

>>724542340
Hmmm, well ideally not but if your nature and habits made you choose the easy path all the time it's gonna be hard not constantly thinking about suicide, the ultimate easy path.

>>724542353
Yah, morbidly interesting isn't it.
A relative of mine died half a year ago, he was 67.
A weird thought that all the knowledge, experience and memories he had just disappeared in minutes.
And he knew A LOT, had been through a lot too.
Scary thought.

>>724542575
why not be her friend anyway? you were happy being her friend before.

>>724542680
I'm still friends with her but the thought of her not feeling the same way about me is literally killing me. I know I'm never going to be loved by someone who loves me so what's the point in living?

>>724541630
Every day. I wake up and daily affirm my dark thoughts away. By the time I show up for work, I'm the bright smiling face with a chipper attitude. I then go home, relax the facade, drink myself asleep (more thoughts, more realizations, more depression, irony of booze killing more depression does not elude me), sleep, wash rinse repeat.

File: 284.png (264KB, 427x593px) Image search: [Google]

264KB, 427x593px

>>724542365
Chances are it won't.
This attitude isn't going to make things better, but it probably won't get much worse.
You have a choice. Do it now or try to change your life.
Otherwise you'll be stuck in limbo for a long time still.

>>724542390
Sheesh bud, you don't need to risk your life to get people to take you seriously.
A few heartfelt words can be enough.
No need to permanently damage your body.

>>724541630
when i fancy having a listen to frankie teardrop

>>724542812
because there are more than 6 billion people in the world and you have hardly met any of them.

File: 463.png (309KB, 561x537px) Image search: [Google]

309KB, 561x537px

>>724542622
You never know.

>>724542635
Drawings or real life pics?

>>724542575
Do you believe in "the one"?
If you do you're an idiot.
There are so many people out there, so many people with the capacity to love and so many people who are compatible with you.
All you need to do is find one of them.

But to be honest I don't think you're ready for a relationship really.
It sounds like you'd let your self-esteem and happiness depend on the other person telling you you're a good boy and that's not a very healthy basis.
You need to learn to love yourself first, need to be able to be content with being alone.
Only then are you more or less ready to let another person in.

>>724542872
We'll as stated above it's also about unrequited love. I've always been depressed but ever since I found out how she really feels, I just don't know if I can live. I have an appointment with my therapist on Friday but I don't know if I can make it.

And even then, words don't mean anything. When I told my friend about my suicidal thoughts he just said I sounded like an angsty 13 year old.

>>724542872
I kinda just want to give up. I'm just tired all the time. My life is terrible. I just don't have much energy left. It's nearly time for me to just say "well I tried, it's time to quit"

>>724543139
How can I love myself when I hate myself more than anything else? I hate everything single fucking thing about me. I don't believe in "the one" but I'm also realistic and know that no girl I'm attracted to will probably like me. Plus, this girl is the only person I've met in my life who understands me and has a lot in common with me on a mental level. I just don't see the fucking point in moving forward when I know it's never going to work out for me.

>>724542642
Yeah it's gonna be hard, but once you realize that, it can give you a push to start being a better, happier person, which I believe is the whole goal of our existence.

And also, if you've always chosen the easy way out of things, you can actually feel disgusted by yourself, which can also help in changing. At least it's a part of it for me

>>724543140
shes just one girl. there are, and will be, others. go to the therapist and talk about it.

ive been in the same spot as you, except it was my fiance that said she didnt love me anymore and left me. so i had the taste and then it was gone. life gets better though.

Every fucking day. It peeking affects my everyday actions and i hate everything and everyone. I wish i could just beat their fucking faces in and bite off their noses so they'd shut up for a while.

>>724543406
U got some issues

>>724543406
have you tried working from home?

>>724543348
Yeah I don't even get the taste and I never will. Even if there's another girl like her they won't be attracted to me so there's no fucking point.

>>724543434
having the taste then losing it is worse than not having it at all. i still think about it every day. that was 8 years ago. everyone is attractive to someone. she just hasnt met you yet

>>724543537
What if I don't want to settle? What if I couldn't give two shits about a fulfilling career or money and I just want to be loved? What am I supposed to fucking do then?

>>724543406
Have you tried to figure out why adults cant see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

>>724541630
Every day. I could so easily step in front of the train on my way to work.

File: 335.png (250KB, 407x557px) Image search: [Google]

250KB, 407x557px

>>724542848
It really helps having people to show your true self to.
To not have to act happy. To just vent your misery to.
Someone who'll just listen or tell you it's going to be okay, or that it indeed all sucks makes a world of difference.
Do you have anyone like that?

>>724543140
Some people are not strong enough to carry even a small portion of someone else's suffering. They don't know how to deal.
I'd say wait at least until you see your therapist and tell him/her about your urges.
I don't know if they'll take you as seriously as you want since you do say that the thought of suicide is more a means of getting attention but no harm in trying just a while longer.
>>724543268
With small steps. I've been where you are now. I can't really look at myself with pride or anything yet but I'm getting there.
I know how you feel and I can tell you that it is possible to get out. It's possible to change how you look at yourself and the world.
It's really a struggle and you're going to want to give up and feel like you've failed for a long time still but it's fucking possible.

I don't know how many people you know, how many new people you meet but if you're anything like me the answer is: not many.
You have no fucking idea of the size of the world. No clue about the diversity of people out there.
You're not being realistic when you say there's nobody out there for you. That's a clear sign of ignorance.
The hard part is meeting someone, opening yourself up enough to show other people what you're really like.
It's hard, I know, but it's possible.
You shouldn't have your hopes ride on one thing.

>>724543234
How long have you felt this way? Do you know if there's a clear cause for how you feel?
What have you tried to get out of the dark hole you're in now?

File: fb4.jpg (70KB, 605x630px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 605x630px

>>724541630
Five times almost every two months.

Tried to once, but just ended up in the hospital trying eating shitty food.

>>724543139
But if I kill myself and there is no anime wonderland, I would never get to see the cute head pats ever again

Not worth the risk

>>724543652
thats all anyone really wants. its a base desire. you just have to look at the different types of love youre already getting. its not always romantic love. like me, i love you. i wouldnt stay up talking to you at 4:44 in the morning if i didnt.

File: 1484084312258.png (489KB, 596x709px) Image search: [Google]

489KB, 596x709px

I found it is far more logical to kill everyone that makes you want to suicide.

Just makes more sense

>>724543983
That's bullshit, you've never met me. I'm self-aware. The only love I receive is from my family and they're part of the reason I'm so fucked. At the end of the day I'm just a stupid, selfish, whiney, annoying, ugly fucking brat who is upset that he can't get what he wants.

File: images.jpg (8KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 225x225px

I saw a senile old man at work the other day and it made me sad.

File: 469.png (273KB, 459x469px) Image search: [Google]

273KB, 459x469px

>>724543271
Yeah same.
Recently I've felt the "disgust" you mention more often. I wouldn't really call it disgust though, more.. "driven" or "unsatisfied".
It's hard to hold on to and I don't feel it nearly as often as I'd like but I'm glad it's there sometimes.
I haven't felt that in years.

Are you able to hold on to that feeling? Do you know how to generate it?
Really curious because I could use some advice on that. heh.

>>724543406
Sounds like projection tbh fam

>>724543652
I already told you that's not healthy.
You'd be a leech.
A healthy relationship is one where two people who are content with themselves find someone to share their lives with each other.
You'd just be dependent on someone. Very destructive for both yourself and the person you're with.
Read The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm. It has a lot of useful insights on this topic.
It helped me realize that I need to work on myself more before I should even start to look for another person.

File: 430.png (309KB, 615x347px) Image search: [Google]

309KB, 615x347px

>>724543718
That's a massive bill for your relatives.
Shocking how much it costs to clean up a body from the tracks.

>>724543812
How did you try to kys?

>>724543967
Maybe you could find someone irl to pat on the head :3
Is rely gud to do
fels nais

Going to bed, but I've gotta say that I appreciate that this is actually a rather supportive thread, night anons. We'll all make it some day

>>724544178
Been working on it, no real luck for several years. Some day though

>>724543704
Yeah, that pisses me off, too.

>>724541630
briefly passed the thought by on my way home tonight.

File: 416.png (325KB, 365x593px) Image search: [Google]

325KB, 365x593px

>>724544031
>tfw I am the reason I want to kms
(´･ω･｀)

>>724544074
Don't get old anon. Kill yourself before it's too late!

>>724544197
Sleep tight bb

>>724544245
How do you put yourself out there?

>>724544069
its not bullshit. i dont have to meet you to love you.

>At the end of the day I'm just a stupid, selfish, whiney, annoying, ugly fucking brat who is upset that he can't get what he wants.
youre just hurt.

>>724544315
If you don't have to meet me to love me then I don't have to me anyone else to know I'll never be loved by someone I love.

I may be hurt but I've been trying to fix it for the past five years with no success and I can't take it much longer.

File: 546.png (151KB, 251x413px) Image search: [Google]

151KB, 251x413px

Hey what the hell

Did they remove the wordfilters?

File: 1487891749000.jpg (58KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 480x480px

>>724544178
Overdose, guess I didn't overdose enough.

I go to the therapist's like every week starting since the beginning of February. Got better since then, but still thinking about it.

File: 279_Up Close And Weeping_Jackie.jpg (31KB, 650x487px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 650x487px

>>724543785
>How long have you felt this way? Do you know if there's a clear cause for how you feel?
What have you tried to get out of the dark hole you're in now?

A long, long time. When I was 12, I watched someone very close to me take their own life. That was also during the time that this person was literally the only person who cared about me. And I've tried near everything. Meds, therapy, hospitalization. Nothing fills the hole she left. Nothing will fix the damage it gave my heart.

>>724544400
Also I've been thinking about admitting myself to mental hospital but I don't know if it's a good idea. I just feel like I really need help and some fucking structure.

>>724544400
have you tried just focusing on you?

>>724544461
just continue going to your therapist. i keep going to mine.

File: K-ON! 2009 - EP07 [BD 1920x1080 23.976fps AVC-yuv420p10 FLACx3 Chap].mkv_snapshot_04.42_[2017.01.10_00.49.17].png (634KB, 769x765px) Image search: [Google]

634KB, 769x765px

>>724544308
Mostly through Tinder or my job. I'm a cashier, so every now and then a cute girl will come though and I'll chat with her. The main trouble there is how risky it is because A) Very unprofessional to ask a customer out and B) I don't have a good way to make sure they're not underage unless they're trying to buy alcohol. I've only gotten 2 numbers, actually kinda dated one for a little while until she decided she was a lesbian. The other turned out to be married and genuinely just wanted to play pokemon online with me. So not too good

Had a couple of Tinder dates, but not a second one so far. The last one I went on actually went well, but then she decided she didn't have time to seriously date, though we've kept in touch.

File: 489.png (173KB, 339x377px) Image search: [Google]

173KB, 339x377px

>>724544400
Self-pity gets you nowhere.

Acting sad for attention only lasts so long.

Learning to be kind to yourself lasts a lifetime.

>>724544406
Yeah oding often fails.
Do you have a plan to prevent you from sinking deeper in depression?
Things that might help you get out, make you feel better if you notice yourself slipping again?

File: soi_fon_by_missjasonvoorhees-d4m137i.png (58KB, 1125x710px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 1125x710px

>>724544078
What could really help in sustaining that feeling is the right kind of environment I think. Being in the right environment, where procrascination and all the things you hate about yourself is not accepted could really help. It is forcing you to change that part of yourself. Of course, you don't have to lose the very basis of yourself, just the things you don't like/hate about yourself. This is for short term I think. Once you feel like you've spent enough time in that environment to maintain this feeling ALONE, then it really is just a matter of not falling back I believe. It's not longer that intense feeling, it just going to be YOU. because you've changed.


Also, very important: forget hype. When you feel like " yeah I'm going to change everything and I'll do everything I've ever wanted.. etc", you just burn out really fast. Change is supposed to be a calm, gradual and long process.

With all this being said, I spend the majority of my time alone, which is kind of like one step forward, 2 step backwards..

But even if you have shitty days, just know that you've at least started going in the right direction. we're talking about months and years here

File: 1488256217392.png (226KB, 655x600px) Image search: [Google]

226KB, 655x600px

>>724541838
Hang in there bud.

File: 1488709980740.jpg (88KB, 500x464px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 500x464px

>>724541630
Me and my dad just had an argument. Called me all sorts of names. Now I'm depressed.

File: 295.png (273KB, 485x591px) Image search: [Google]

273KB, 485x591px

>>724544453
Who was she?
Also I hear EMDR works well for traumas that left a big scar.

>>724544549
It's really brave of you to take those steps.
Being able to put yourself in such a vulnerable position. Really I kind of envy you.
Someone I know tried speeddating, from what it sounds like he had more success with that than tinder.
Maybe you could try that too.

>>724544521
That's all I focus on but I'm a lazy fuck with ADHD and no motivation to do anything

I like seeing my therapist but I only see her like once every two or three weeks. At least at the psych hospital I'd be able to regularly see therapists and psychiatrists and get meds and help.

>>724544593
>Learning to be kind to yourself lasts a lifetime.
this is important.

File: bnha__asui_tsuyu_by_stickietape-da6hz7p.png (427KB, 800x998px) Image search: [Google]

427KB, 800x998px

>>724544593
Just talking with people.

I used to call my self asocial, but only so recently I like talking to people and being open. Hell, recently I went to a bar just to get flat out fill the bottles with my depression. But ended up talking with a cute girl.

Since then, I started going out more and increasingly got less depress and more- well... happy, lmao.

>>724543785
>Do you have anyone like that?
Not anymore. He's a family guy now, got his own shit to deal with. My other friend who I shared with, I quit going to his parties or accepting his invitations unless I didn't work that day. I only have so many play happy credits to use and if I worked, I'm THE downer. But hey, I'm productive. People like me. I have hobbies that I like. My cats are adorable. My home is clean. Bills are payed.

>>724544834
Thanks, I'm still not sure how I did it previously, I could never dream of approaching a girl in the street or anything like that. I think part of it is that since it's my job to talk to people, I just sorta detach. Don't know if I'll do it again though. I'm shit at guessing ages, and it'd be disastrous if I asked out a 16yo or something.

Tinder does get depressing, and I feel like I'd have better luck in real life, but I don't have the balls for that. So I just remind myself that Tinder is a numbers game and thank the gods I moved out of my tiny home town

File: 7fe93f2af5f3f1cc3c1eb57c86f59bd1.jpg (43KB, 564x746px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 564x746px

>>724544834
She was my best friend at the time. Alice was her name. She was my one light. Everyone else at this time was bullying me like crazy. So when she left it really shook everything up.

I've tried EMDR and while it did help a little, it didn't really fix anything. It was more just a band aid.

Ever since she left I have just had a profound lack of energy. Just no motivation. And I'm 21 now. I've been trying to fight this for so long. I jus don't think I'll win.

>>724544854
well on friday talk to your therapist about it. she knows more about it than i do and she can certainly help.

its pretty normie-tier but you can watch funny compilations on youtube. i have adhd as well and they keep my attention because the clips change every few seconds. that will help with your mood for a bit.

File: 532.png (372KB, 623x559px) Image search: [Google]

372KB, 623x559px

>>724544594
What environment did you find was helpful for yourself?
I'll probably get into an environment like the one you describe soon but, indeed, after that I'll be on my own.
Your words are really touching btw, they do me well.

>>724544748
What was the argument about? Why'd he call you names?
Kind of sounds like an asshole tbh.

>>724544941
Wow, impressive. Aren't you afraid of what people think? That's what's often on my mind. That's what usually holds me back.
I'd never dare to go to a bar alone. How do you muster the courage?

And do you have people you regularly have contact with? I think that's very important too.

File: 576.png (343KB, 525x593px) Image search: [Google]

343KB, 525x593px

>>724544990
It is incredibly tiring hiding your true feelings from the world.
Of course, it's not like you have to spill your heart to everyone you meet but wouldn't it be possible to allow yourself to feel like shit and also be able to show it, at least partially?
Things don't have to be okay all the time. You don't have to look happy always.
Everyone suffers, everyone knows what it's like to hurt. I think more people would understand than you think.

>>724545055
I honestly think (I don't have experience with it so I could be dead wrong) that speeddating combines the best of both worlds:
You get to have real contact with people, not like tinder where one message is enough for someone to shun you. I can imagine that gets depressing.
Aaaand you get to think "it's just a numbers game", because you get set up with random people so there's no hard feelings in not getting a match with someone.

Maybe you could get a friend to do it with you.
If you have friends. I don't know if you have friends.
It would help motivate you and you'd have someone to fall back on if afterwards you feel like shit.

File: hercules-and-the-hydra.jpg (621KB, 1200x800px) Image search: [Google]

621KB, 1200x800px

>>724545124
Well that's rather tricky in my case, because I have yet to enter that environment, but it's really not easy.

I'm planning on joining a drawing course, but it is also the final semester of university (totally unrelated to any sort of art career), which means crazy deadlines, writing thesis, exams on top of exams etc. So other than being broke and not being able to pay for that drawing course, I don't really have the time for it now, which makes me feel kind of trapped (relating back to the tunnel vision in my first post).

So my task for now is to endure this thing as much as I can without breaking under the pressure, but looking at the fact that I didn't even want to enter this university, and that I hate what I'm studying, really doesn't make it easy lol.

Thanks for the compliment, I really hope that environment will do good for you. I used to think that it's pathetic that I need an environment to change, and that I can't do it alone, but I had to accept that I'm weak for that. I myself have nothing. no discipline, no motivation, only the feeling that I need to change.

File: S&WManga.png (1MB, 641x641px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 641x641px

>>724545124
I often worry what people think about me. Sometimes I think what to say, then I just stutter and worry that the person I'm talking to thinks I'm a complete idiot. But sometimes I had to FORCE my self into thinking I'm not a complete idiot.

As for the courage, I'm not really sure. I guess the "destiny" cliche? I always wanted some kind of girlfriend to love. When I was in the hospital, I learned that if I stay inside all day. Sitting in my own filth, masturbating alone, I won't get a girl friend, hell just a friend in general. Since then I changed as a person. I've started taking showers, brushing my teeth, organizing my apartment, hell started even selling old anime stuff the other day. I just know that if I want a good life, communicate with others.

I regularly talk with my parents and my old friends (since circa 7th grade).

File: 597.png (180KB, 313x443px) Image search: [Google]

180KB, 313x443px

>>724545091
What does your life look like now?
Job, college, friends, family, living situation, hobbies, relationship,

File: K-ON! 2009 - EP11 [BD 1920x1080 23.976fps AVC-yuv420p10 FLACx3 AC3 Chap].mkv_snapshot_21.43_[2017.02.03_02.06.01].png (544KB, 744x725px) Image search: [Google]

544KB, 744x725px

>>724545435
Yeah, I think you might be right.I should look into that. I do have a friend or two, but I only have one I'd feel comfortable asking to go to something like that, and he's gay, so I don't thnk that'd work out.

But anyway, thanks for talking anon, even if we seem to differ on who best girl is (Mio ftw, Yui just has the most relevant reactions). Night anon, I appreciate what you're doing here. Have a good life

>>724545599
I'm currently going to college but I can barely keep my head above water. I get around three hours of sleep because of nightmares so it's hard to focus. It's also hard to stay motivated because the degree I'm perusing isn't very profitable. I'm actually thinking of just dropping out and joining the work force though I doubt it will improve my situation much.

I don't have any friends and my family life is... complicated. My big sister and I are close but she's leaving for uni come August and moving out of state. I am not very fond of my parents but we generally tend to stay out of each other's way so it isn't unbearable.

I write and game for hobbies. It seems all I do now is game. It's the only thing I can find energy to do anymore. Like I just feel tired, constantly. I can't remember the last time I ever truly felt motivated to do much of anything.

>>724541630
Anthony is that you,...... YOU FUCKING JEW

A lot

>>724545729
i have to go to bed, K-on guy. if you could help out >>724544854 if he comes back and still wants to talk i would really appreciate it.

I already planned out how to kill myself but im waiting on someone to pay me back so I can buy some weed for the occasion

File: WellWellWell.png (1MB, 830x513px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 830x513px

>>724541630
I think about suiciding other people quite often, nobody knows that I think about it at all.
Everybody thinks I'm perfect.

>>724546154
I relate to this so much. My mom doesn't even think I'm depressed anymore. Yet I think about suicide near daily.

File: ItsAllYourFault.jpg (225KB, 1142x1430px) Image search: [Google]

225KB, 1142x1430px

>>724541838
>suicide by gun is a statistic liberals use to lie about "gun violence"
>admits suicidal thoughts involving guns
>admits owning guns makes gun death more likely
Dude, you are a fucking retard, you just admitted everything the liberals want you to, did you think this thread was only in your head?
Pic related.

>>724546275
not at all. i have no desire to kill myself.

I think about it every day, I almost did it May 2013, but a friend convinced me not to with the meme of "things will get better." Now here I am in 2017 a lot worse off financially, socially, and morally. I've done some seriously fucked up shit since then because why not, I can just kill myself anyway. I've helped a lot of co-workers get laid, all of which have wives and some with kids. I'm currently in two relationships and neither of them know I'm dating two people, I've done any drug I could possibly get my hands on, and I've lost about $30,000 gambling in the last year. Definitely killing myself this year.

Hourly. I'd do it but it would break my Mum's heart.

File: 372.png (362KB, 511x533px) Image search: [Google]

362KB, 511x533px

>>724545560
I know you'll get through it Anon!
For a long time I also thought I needed to do things on my own.
Now I realize that external factors can be of huge influence on me, the people that are around me, the environment I'm in, heck even what the weather's like.
We can all use a little help and it's up to us to find it.

>>724545594
You've taken good steps to improvement it sounds like.
A helping thought for me is to think that we all act like idiots sometimes. We are all human.
We're all nervous at times, we all say "the wrong things" sometimes and that's okay. It's to be expected of us.
We're allowed to make a fool of ourselves.

Making mistakes is a small price to pay for the world that opens up to us once we allow ourselves to fail.
It's much better than the alternative anyway: wasting away in isolation, letting life pass you by.

>>724545729
gnight

>>724546419
ah this >>724545910 was ment for you

I'm thinking about it right now

>>724546419
Thanks Anon, I know you can do it too!

File: 245.png (392KB, 585x575px) Image search: [Google]

392KB, 585x575px

>>724545775
What are you studying?
And why did you choose it?

I've found that having people close to me helps me a lot to be kind to myself. It really sucks to hear your sis is moving away. Will you keep in touch with her?

For a long time I felt the same way you're feeling now. No energy for anything other than play vidya or browse the web.
I discovered that clinging to my pc as the only source of entertainment or happiness was actually keeping me down.
Continuing to do only that is what made me feel like I only had energy for that.
Now I regularly unplug my pc and phone and try to do anything else. It really helped me to feel motivated more.
Watching tv, browsing the web, playing games.. it all costs a lot of attention and it doesn't bring you much other than time passing by faster.
The motivation I feel now from doing other things comes from me feeling more productive because I actually feel like I DID something rather than just consume.

>>724545802
Shut up Rick.

File: 154.png (139KB, 331x353px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 331x353px

>>724546206
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UephEYASVbo

>>724546330
Huh? But that all sounds really exciting.
Maybe morally objectionable but exciting too.
Why you still wanna kys?
Because of monies?

File: 1421025213666.jpg (19KB, 527x612px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 527x612px

>>724541630
I think that I won't go from this world naturally, but it is not the time yet

File: 1478410861190.png (324KB, 629x850px) Image search: [Google]

324KB, 629x850px

>>724546766
I'm planning on getting my degree in english on account of my writing. But just doing five minutes of of research you can see that, unless you get lucky or are really good which I'm certainly not, it's not profitable. I'm not very good at much else except for theater which I'm also considering in majoring in, but, like writing, it's not very profitable. I also don't have the energy I used to when I did that.

I have a hard time connecting with people on a basic level. When she died I just kinda lost the ability to connect with other humans, my sis being an exception but I assume it is only because she was with me before that happened. And I will. It's just going to really suck not having her around. She's a really great person, she got me into gaming, she's read my silly stories. It is saddening just thinking about it.

I have to unplug due to school. But whenever I go to school I just get scared. It reminds me of everything. Of how quickly I'm about to be kicked from the house. How I'm not ready for adulthood. How I'm not really all that smart. How I may very well be homeless. The only thing I do like to do that requires going out is hiking but I seldom have time for it nowadays. I love nature, it's the one place I can go where things just make sense, things are simple. but with school and work and family it's hard to get away for ever a single day.

File: 1487718354660.jpg (339KB, 1029x850px) Image search: [Google]

339KB, 1029x850px

>>724546766
Hey, I'm going to take a shower. Been nice talking with you! I still want to talk with you someday. Probably create a discord? Idk, you don't have to. Have a nice day!

File: 352.png (412KB, 551x531px) Image search: [Google]

412KB, 551x531px

>>724547169
It really sucks to hear you struggle with so much.
>>724547451
I have no idea how discord works but I made an account on it.
I think this will help you find me? #4665
My nickname is Snow

Hope to talk to you sometime.
Also I don't know what impression you have of me but I too have trouble with connecting with people.
Am a NEET, been socially isolated for a long time, trying to crawl out of this hole.
Many things are still scary, adding you on discord totes makes me nervous but that's okay.

>>724548035
I think you're a friendly person! I could help you get out of the NEET thing! Don't be afraid or nervous of me. I'm a nice person open to help anybody.

>>724548035
Username is Freshgreen#2712, can't seem to find your's

File: new ani.png (55KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 1920x1080px

Constantly, but I remind myself that there's nothing after death, and that fucks me up enough to stay pussy and keep moving on.

File: 6c501446feb074cee1c8448b31f98e6e.jpg (38KB, 500x540px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 500x540px

>>724548035
>It really sucks to hear you struggle with so much.
It's hard. It's really hard.

File: 1456446971810.jpg (62KB, 500x250px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 500x250px

I'm a chronic pain patient with a very heavy substance problem. I get 9x 20mg oxycodone from my doctor every day, im addicted to Lyrica, and benzo (valium & xanax). I get a total of 5 different meds from my doctor.

I would like to quit, but I can't with my chronic pains. 3 prolapses in my back and something called sacroiliitis.
The side effects, and the everyday nagging for drugs. I have no family, im 27, no contact with neither mother or dad for 8 years since I moved out, we never got along, and they got separated at my age of 6, and they hate each other, we all hate each other.

I'm completely isolated, last time I had the strength to visit my best mate was in October 16", since then I've only gone out to buy food, doctor, pharmacy and hospital check ups.

I will end it soon, maybe in the coming months, I just feel the need to make some preparations first, so I can finish this hellhole with the least possible guilt.

File: 163.png (215KB, 295x517px) Image search: [Google]

215KB, 295x517px

>>724547169
I think it's important to pursue what brings you joy and it's good that you're looking at the realistic side of things too.
You could of course just try to find something and if it doesn't work out go in another direction.

You can find a connection with other people, it's just gonna take time.
And you will probably face disappointments and rejection, that's just part of the process.
Small steps are essential. We often want to be at the end of the road while we haven't even taken a first step yet and when we find out we haven't reached our goal yet we get angry at ourselves.
In stead of looking at what you can't do and what you haven't accomplished, look at what you have done. It's pointless looking at your failure as an obstacle for the future, look at it as building blocks instead.

Maybe you could pursue a career that allows you to spend time in nature?
Have you looked at the possibilities there?

Hourly

>>724541630
Every night. I shouldn't complain about much since I have it better than most. 22, live with parents, going to college, but every day I just realize more and more how unhappy I am with myself. I tried to end it a few months ago, said goodbye to a few people and then went to do it, but I pussied out and the cops showed up at 5 in the morning to conduct a "wellness check." Fucking mortifying. It set me straight for a bit, I got medication. I've been off the meds for a couple of months and I'm back to where I was in terms of my unhappiness and I think about it every day. Its hard to live like a normal person when you live with cripping anxiety. It's 6 A.M. and I have been awake for hours from my anxiety. I really need to start making changes to affect my life positively but change is difficult especially when you're stuck in a rut like me.

>>724546897
Partly because of money, partly because all my goals and dreams are dead. Impossible to make them come to life now, and I have a hard time living with myself over a lot of the things I've done.

>>724541630
Every morning when my alarm goes off.

File: 4a1a4783d31f0a2305d5906ba96e86a0.jpg (46KB, 500x630px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 500x630px

>>724549157
I wish I knew what other direction to take. But that's something only I can see.

I used to believe that. I just can't seem to connect with others. I have "friends" but I don't really feel any sort of love or kindness too them. I don't hate them, but I just feel nothing.

I have looked at a few but they aren't really all the fun. Though being a park ranger might be fun, but that of course requires college. And I hate college. I hate it so damn much. It's such a prison. I'm smart enough to do it, but it just makes me so depressed. I literally feel trapped.

File: 340.png (395KB, 643x591px) Image search: [Google]

395KB, 643x591px

>>724549993
What are your hopes and dreams?

>>724549961
What makes you anxious?

>>724550412
I'm afraid that it's just a matter of trying things, see what sticks.

That's a feeling I recognize well. For me it was because I felt nothing in general.
I had a blockage on my emotions. That's what made it hard to feel a connection with people. I didn't really allow myself to feel vulnerable around other people.
I think that vulnerability is a big part in feeling a connection with people.
Opening the possibility of getting hurt by someone and just having faith that they won't: that's what makes me feel a connection with people.
Before, I thought "I couldn't care less if I never see this person again in my life, I can live without them", of course that attitude made me feel a disconnect.
It's very hard to admit to myself that I care about someone and that I'd be hurt if I lost them but that's ultimately the truth.
Admitting that to myself has allowed me to feel more of a connection to others.

Kind of a defeatist attitude to give up without even having taken a first step toward something you like.
If it can bring you happiness, why wouldn't you bite through the tough part.
Life isn't always about joy, there is always a price to pay.

File: 38b8c9a47586ca43fa87a8bf608da299.jpg (51KB, 500x545px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 500x545px

>>724551244
I hope that's what it is. I've been trying to make friends but it's as if something is just missing. Something that allows me to take the relationship from acquaintance to friend. We can hang out, laugh, do all sorts of stuff. But the emotional connection just won't form for some reason. I don't know why it is.

It is a bit. I am just impatient. I want to just go on and do stuff, not sit in a college building for four years. That's what's kinda getting me. I just want to start my life already, break free of my parents control and have financial responsibility. I am so stagnant right now it's awful, I need to do something, go somewhere. Being here is just too much of a downer. But I'm also afraid of that too, afraid of taking that step into independence.

>>724551244
To be a professional player or manager in esports. I was on a semi-pro team with a sponsorship for three years and managed a different team for two years. I was kicked off the team after three years for poor performance and the team I was managing disbanded after a few bad seasons. Now I just work a dead end job and can only last financially until October, at which time I'll lose my apartment