>be Amerifat >get shot

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Just gonna park myself right here in case the cavalry comes to retaliate and shit gets funny

>be amerifat
>get shot
>fat stops bullet

>be Amerifat
>get shot
>fat stops bullet
>applaud and tip shooter

>be Amerifat
>get shot
>get medical bills
>be homeless

>>724510914
>be britfag
>Muslims

Someone in my town for shot today no joke. 18 year old nigger named Kiki or some shit.

>>724511495
Found the Amerifat
I can almost hear you jiggling with anger

>>724510914
>be ameri kid
>get shot
>no medical bills
>still alive

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>>724510914
>be Amerifat
>get shot
>no one stop to help you cuz have to get to minimum wage job
>die in street

>>724511507
If all the niggers took a day off the amount of fire arm violence would easily drop 50%.

>>724511685
Thank god for them kevlar-tier statistics, we're all saved!

>>724511685
Still 50% more than almost everywhere else.

>>724511685
Maybe. I hate the fuckers. Always stirring up shit.

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>>724510914
>be Amerifat
>get shot
>can't pay the medical bills

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>>724511571
Allahu Akbar

>>724510914
>be amerifat
>get shot
>try to crabwalk to nearest hospital cuz ambulance ride would code $500
>defeat all odds and make it
>get bullet removed
>$100k in debt

>be amrifag
>has flag on the moon
>doesn't give a fuck about every other commie country

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This thread again?

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>>724510914
>be europoor
>be aussie
>be leaf
>get dragged into wars started by the US
>get killed to fund the US military and please Israel
>get spied on by the US
>get invaded by muslims
>get culturally enriched
>get assfucked economically by larger nations like the US
>go to /pol/ to shitpost about americans

The rest of the world truly is interesting.

>be Amerifat
>get shot
>BUT THE MOON THO
>die

>>724511955
So accurate it hurts.

Not enough to go see a doctor about it though.

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>>724512096
Found the amerifat

>>724511960
>still be amerifag
>cant spell my own country
> reflecting on current education systems
> perhaps commies have a point

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>>724511056

>>724511081
>>724511224
>>724511294
>>724511631
>>724511637
>>724511913
>>724511955
>>724511960
>>724512109
Samefag

>>724512109
Heh. I keked

>>724512171
Jokes aside he's right though lol.

>>724512227
Don't lump me in with them

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>>724512227

>>724511913
>president gives me free healthcare
>protest and demand it be taken away

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>be amerifat
>eat burgers til my heart bleeds
>got to doctor for Medicare
>pills make my kidneys bleed
>get more pills for that
>makes my ass bleed
>have surgery to correct my eyesight so my ass doesn't bleed anymore
>contract aids from niggerdonals
>try to sue but they say im eatin at my own risk
>get a gun from walmart
>shoot up niggerdonalds
>gotto jail
>eat some burgers before they inject me with shit that will make my heart stop
>shoulda just kept eatin burgers

>>724512437
You mean freedom?

>Be french
>Get run over by the religion of peace
>neighboring country's government wants more religion of peace
Based EU

>>724510914
>not shooting yourself with small caliber bullets to build an immunity to larger bullets

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>>724512227

>>724512096

>be rectally devastated, insecure ameripoor
>no concept of banter
>have to insist other countries go to war with you because you haven't won a single one
>60% white
>send billions to the Jews
>spy on yourselves
>call yourselves free but live in a military-industrial complex with privately run but publicly subsidised prisons and have a patriot act
>have a massive muslim population you pretend isn't there
>still can't manage your black population after literally hundreds of years
>bankruptcy tier hospital visits
>be trillions in debt but insist you're an economic power
>cry on the internet whenever anyone laughs at you

>Decide to go on holiday to America
>plane lands at JFK airport
>all the American passengers start clapping as the plane comes to a stop
>GOOD JAAAB, GOOD JAAAB CLAPCLAPCLAP
>Hamburgers start falling out of the overhead compartments
>American passengers start paying tips to the other passengers based on their in-flight performance
>clapping intensifies
>fireworks and streamers burst everywhere
>Fuc.k this, quickly make my way to the exit of the plane
>other americans also making way to exit
>they see the captain
>"GOOD JAAAB, YOU WERE GREAT, AMAZING FLIGHT SIR, GOOD JAAAAAB"
>enter the terminal building
>hamburger music starts playing
>greeted by immigration officer
>he already knows my name, age, address and the exact time (to the second) i took my last **** because NSA
>still hear faint clapping and screams of "good jaaaab" coming from down the other way
>the immigration officer says i need a cavity search
>he sticks his fat sausage fingers into my arse
>im in so much pain, his fingers are easily as girthy as a pringles tin
>OK SIR, GOOD JAAAB WE'RE ALL CLEAR HERE
>hands me a 20% tip
>walk out of the cavity search room and are greeted to a round of applause from a group of overweight americlaps
>GOOOOOOOOD JAAAAAAB

>>724512518
Yup. Unless you want to smoke weed, or get a hooker, or get an abortion. But other than that, fuck yeah! Land of the free!

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>be amerifat
>tyrone fucks my wife
>shoot up local school and church

>be Amerifat
>get shot
>get medical bills
>sue bullet manufacturer
>win because Amerifat laws are a joke

>>724512690
Fucking savage.

>>724512775
Weeds legal in a few States, hookers are ok in Vegas, and abortions are very much legal but have restrictions based on the state. Because States rights that's why.

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poor Amerifats getting BTFO

>>724513186
Weed is still illegal federally, and you can still be arrested by the Feds, even in a state where it's legal.

Legal brothels in Vegas are overpriced as fuck, and extremely restricted.

Abortions, while legal, are plagued with a ton restrictions and other bullshit, and may not wind up being legal too much longer.

>>724512690
>call yourselves free
At least we can post images of terrorist with out getting arrested for inciting hatred.

>>724513684
Yeah, but I could go out right now, get some weed, smoke it right in front of a cop, and get a blowjob from a hooker without getting arrested, so...

>>724513684

>actually proud of having the right to be a complete dick

>>724513456
Yeah federally it is illegal but the feds aren't going to do shit unless they need leverage on somebody or the state.

I'll give you the prostitution part of this because it'll just devolve into an ethical debate.

Abortion will probably not be made illegal, it's pretty rough trying to overturn a supreme court ruling, even if they do it can be reversed again later on.

Hate to break it to you but everyone works for the jews.

>>724514670
It may not be made illegal, but they do shit like defund clinics, or shut down every clinic in a state except for one, making it practically impossible to get one. They also do shit like make women sit through humiliating videos, or be lectured about abstinence, or require permission from her parents, or other bullshit. It's soft prohibition, but still prohibition.

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>be amerifat
>get shot in vietnam
>get addicted to heroin
>get BTFO and war ends
>suicidal depressed PTSD opiate addict drafted into a war based on a false flag in Gulf of Tonkin