/b/, how do I find Christ?

>>724510753
Even jesus had to get tire of a bunch of tribesmen living in this planet bullshit.

Leaving here would be a good start.

If you want to find Jesus, go into a crowd of smelly illegals and say "JESUS I'M WITH INS"

Have faith.

>>724510753
My best guess is that he is buried somewhere in the middle east.

>>724510753
church.bible.church website.

it's realy not hard unless you live in some place where christianity is repressed.

>>724510753
Why don't you look RIGHT BEHIND YOU

>>724510753
build I time machine

turn knob to 0

??????

profit

>>724510753

Nigga he will find YOU.

Try suicide, if there is a heaven and they have WiFi come back and let us know. Thanks.

>>724510753
Check the fridge. Right past purple stuff and next to the sunny d

>>724510753
If there is a god--which there isn't--this is the place he'd be furthest from.

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>>724510753
I am here my son. Ask, and ye shall receive. I require but one set of repeating digits and your desire will be fulfilled.

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>>724512126

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>>724510753
Just keep on searching. Eventually you will find him... I guess.

>>724512204
r-rolling

>>724512204

When will I stop cumming blood?

Asking for a friend...

Jail. Everyone there seems to find him. Stays in the cell next to Muhammad.

>>724512204
If I I get dubs I am reforming my pathetic life

>>724510753
Dude, he cleans the bowling alley every night. Just go see him there

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>>724510753
Accept Him into your heart. He wants a relationship with you.

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>>724512126
Because he hates sinners... em I right?

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Jesus will find you when you seek him in humbleness. Only then, when you repent your sins and accept the lord into your heart, will you be saved.

>>724512489
>picture unrelated

>>724512204
I will get these

>>724512204

Is Joseph Smith legit?

Have you checked behind the sofa?

>>724510753

Try Google Maps.

>>724510753
Well, you're not gonna find him on gay ass faggot ass 4chan. Maybe try church?

>>724512313
Try again, my child.
>>724512361
Verily, verily I say unto you, the flow of red will cease when you follow the path of righteousness.
>>724512392
Try again, my son.

>>724512204
I want u to kill all nuggets

I thought I found him before but then lost him again. I've still prayed earnestly from time to time but no longer feel the presence of God.

>>724512204
Roll

>>724512606
Oh ye of little faith. Joseph Smith is My chosen prophet. The words he spoke and wrote are the truth.

>>724512204
Give me a 1 year brazzers subscription

>>724512862
Dumdumdumdum dum dum!

>>724512204
Give me a bigger dick.

When are you gonna come down from heaven and kick ass this time?

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My children, I bring to you a gift, for I am a generous God...son of God...I've always been confused on that. Behold! Miracle spring water! Sprinkle this on whatever ails you and it will be healed! Pour it on your wallet and receive miracle funds in your bank account! Lather it on your boils and they will disappear overnight! Absolutely free*!

any landscaping company might have a few

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>>724510753
Why would you want to find mentally ill lunatic that lived long ago

I found Jesus: I keep him locked in the trunk of my car.

>>724513329
F A L S E
A
L
S
E

PROPHET
R
O
P
H
E
T

>>724513087
Verily, verily I say unto you, I have provided the materials necessary for the growth of the physical manifestation of man's dominance over woman. Ingest maca, damiana, deer antler, and entengo herbs, and your flesh wand will expand to proportions only rumored about in the wildest ergot poisoning trips.

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>>724513705

>>724512655
>>724513188
>>724513677
anyone else notice jesus is getting a lot of dubs?

>>724511865
>the number 0 existed 2000 years ago
Have fun erasing yourself from existence.

>>724512204
kill all the niggers.
Thanks Jesus. You're the best!

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>>724512204
Jesus, why do you always look like a California hipster in pictures even though you were actually an unwashed sand nigger?

>>724510753

Move to Missouri. Then try NOT finding him.

>>724513818
What's the difference?

>>724513818
My son, being the offspring of the only one and true God, I appear to mortals as they wish me to appear. Some see a white man, others see a stupid fucking nigger, and others see me as an Arab. It's all a matter of subconscious perspective. Remember to tithe.

>>724513974
>hipster: white, dirty, smells like weed
>sand nigger: brown, filthy, smells like shit and ash

>>724513797
To kill off the negroid race would be to erase My Father's loudest and proudest cheerleaders. Ever been to a black gospel church? Shit is off the chain.

>>724513777
Nice trips baby , BUT YEAH WTF....Maybe hes the real thing....

if you die you get to meet him

>>724512204
should i stay with my wife fake jesus?

>>724514363
I will forgive your blasphemy, for I am 1/3 of the Holy Trinity (which is fucking stupid because 33x3 is 99%, but The Bible never said that the heavenly Father is mathologist). However, in regards to your query, divorce is a sin, and if you divorce your wife, you will be fined. See Deuteronomy 22:19.