Obvioushit shit that some people may not have thought about,

>>724438764
The last thing I stick up my ass is always the first to come out. Well almost always.

>>724438764
Trump is a great President

>>724438764
Good concept for a thread, but i cant contribute

>>724438764

You have known your parents for your whole life, but they've only known you for a portion of theirs.

Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be.

No one has ever stood in an empty room.

>>724438764
We park on driveways, and drive on parkways.

There is braille on drive-thru bank machines.

>>724438764
If you're 20 years old, you're probably older than every dog on the planet.

Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy a kid will eat ivy too, wouldn't you? It may sound queer and funny to your ear a little bit jumbled and jivey

File: Michael Collins, the astronaut who took this photo, is the only human, alive or dead that isn't in the frame of this picture, 1969.jpg (464KB, 1600x1600px) Image search: [Google]

464KB, 1600x1600px

Michael Collins, the astronaut who took this photo, is the only human, alive or dead that isn't in the frame of this picture

If you close one eye, you see your nose. With both eyes open, you don't see it.

>>724438764
K Mitch hedberg

>>724440229
if you close both eyes you also cant see your nose

>>724440162

You're considering people on the far side of the earth in frame?

The words inflammable and flammable mean the same thing.
As children we all went on car rides and imagined a little man dodging obstacles outside the window (you thought only you did that)

>>724440328
He was on a motorcycle.

Is an orange named after the color, or is orange named after the fruit?

>>724439456

>Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be.

false, the youngest you will ever be again, I have been younger than I am now, so that one is bad

>>724440328
Still doing it on my daily train rides

>>724440542
Are you retarded?

>>724440592
Thank you.

>>724440592
Perhaps, because I just re-read that and well yea...my fault

if you don't tuck your shirt into your pants
you're tucking your pants into your shirt

>>724438764
When you go to the dentist, he performs a cavity search within a cavity search.

When I was much younger, on my kindergarten room's bathroom door was a peace sign. When I asked what it was called, I misheard them and I called them "pee signs" instead. No one corrected me.

An atom is so small, an atom sitting on the surface of a golfball is the same size comparatively as a golfball sitting on the entire earth.

Baa-Baa Black Sheep, The Alphabet Song, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star all follow the same tune.

>>724440826
>When I was much younger, on my kindergarten room's bathroom door was a peace sign. When I asked what it was called, I misheard them and I called them "pee signs" instead. No one corrected me.

It wasn't until 10th grade bio that I found out it's "lactose intolerance" and not "black toast and tolerance".

>>724440431
The color is named for the fruit. Before the discovery of the fruit the color was known as redish yellow

>>724440328
And raise and raze sound the same but mean complete opposite of each other.

File: keanu.jpg (66KB, 400x384px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 400x384px

>every single keanu meme the thread

>>724440906
And that tune was originally composed by Bach

>>724438764
The song's refrain, as written on the sheet music is actually "liddle lamzy divey", it's the lyrics in the bridge that are "little lambs eat ivy", when he explains it. technically you're wrong fuckstain.

>>724441220
You mean Mozart.

>Non-native English speaker
I pronounced the "Is" in "Island". Fixed it myself when I was 12, almost finishing grade school.

There was a day that your mom put you down and never picked you up again.

>>724439637
someone likes George Carlin

>>724438764
Your second ''thought'' about the picture is a Mitch Hedberg qoute.

if you want peace, you must prepare for war

>>724443331
>feelyfeelyfeels.feels

File: churchsign.jpg (29KB, 450x391px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 450x391px

>>724438764
>> the old poem says "little lambs eat ivy" not "little lambs divy"

does eat oats and mares eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. christ, who didn't know that? there was a song about it.

>>724443671

i noticed that the first time I flew. took me about 2 seconds to figure out what it was for.

File: IMG_0737.jpg (283KB, 660x440px) Image search: [Google]

283KB, 660x440px

>>724441092
> black toast intolerance

it was in the last place i looked

>>724443923
>it was in the last place i looked
because what idiot would find something and then keep on looking

File: brekfast.gif (1018KB, 300x167px) Image search: [Google]

1018KB, 300x167px

>>724444126

>>724444516
>your new coaster will make it incredibly hard to spill your drink

So will leaving the lid on it.

>>724441982
How is he wrong?. He's actually right on both counts then, fucknuts

>>724444444 →
OMG, septuples!!! God has spoketh

>>724444764
Then you'll stain the beautiful mohagony coffee table your mom just spent $2000 on

The opposite of evil is not good, its virtuous .

>>724439456
by empty you mean without walls ?

File: cocaine.gif (2MB, 300x250px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 300x250px

Being asleep feels the same as being dead, except temporarily (provided you don't remember the dreams).

Being dead feels the same as being not yet born.

>>724440162
If we ignore everybody born after that picture was taken you retard

>>724439637
Maybe if the blind guy is a passenger in a taxi or something? Or has a sighted friend driving him?

>>724440292
They're still located within the frame, just blocked by the planet from direct view.
People on the near side may be blocked from view from clouds or buildings.

>>724443331
Harsh

OP is a faggot

Oranges were originally called noranges (from the Spanish naranja) but the name changed when a norange was gradually changed over time to be an orange.

>>724440904
Depends on what it's an atom of surely?

>>724445508
Except that all the matter that makes them up is in the frame. If you count dead, decomposed people, you also have to count precomposed people.

>>724447636
That is retarded
Dead people at least we're people.
Unborn people do not yet exist.

>>724444126
exactly, but people say it all the time

>>724446198
Not really, at least for the purposes of most people's understanding. Also, theoretically, the electrons could all be bunched up in the center of the nucleus, or be spread out across the entire universe and still be part of one atom, because they,re technically a wave-particle duality, where the wave describes the probability that the particle is in any given position at any given time.

File: duuuh.jpg (42KB, 680x455px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 680x455px

i was alive 36 years before i learned theres an arrow showing you which you fill your tank on

File: larsen9.jpg (315KB, 953x1279px) Image search: [Google]

315KB, 953x1279px

>>724438764

>be 28
>going to a restaurant
>ordering a pizza pie
>i said no ansjovis wtf
>girl says sorry i say is ok
>eat pizza pie while lying
>go outside wait till restaurant closes
>walk up to girl call her a bitch
>yelling I SAID NO ANSJOVIS CUNT
>punch her repeatedly in the left eye
>shit stars bleeding she yells "whyyyy whyyyyy"
>take her head and place it above my cock
>let blood pour on cock
>shove it in her mouth NOW SUCK IT
>manager comes out yells WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING
>grab my pistol and blast him twice
>then blast girl in skull with my cock inside her mouth
>let blood pour all over my cock
>feels good man
>escape and go home
>masturbate with her blood still on my cock

>>724440328
I still do that

>>724449377
It's only on more recent cars I think. I've had older cars that didn't have it on.

File: TheSimpsons1218-1.jpg (63KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 640x480px

>>724440328

File: Ali beats El.jpg (211KB, 750x989px) Image search: [Google]

211KB, 750x989px

>>724438764
>men don't benefit from marriage
>most women claiming to be 'gamer girls' today are only doing it for the attention, and are the same ones who shame men for liking vidya games, anime, and comics
>family members, like friends, usually only talk to you when they want or need something. other than that, you don't exist to them.
>Rightists typically claim that liberals and leftists are 'too emotional,' while they themselves get offended over beer commercials, TV shows deemed 'not patriotic enough,' and instances where someone questions their religious and/or political "beliefs"
>old fucks don't care about the environment because most of them already have one foot in the grave
>tax isn't theft
>usually, the main women who claimed that they were going to 'wait until marriage' throughout their adolescence have become single mothers before they even hit 29
>many Marvel superheroes are copies of DC ones

>>724451073
>tax isn't theft
Nice try.

File: war-on-terrorism-language.gif (33KB, 500x386px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 500x386px

>>724451466
If you think so, stop using roads, the postal service, and pretty much everything else your taxes pay for. Also, I guess we can count you out of being 'defended' from our already bloated defense budget...to which I wouldn't blame you.

>>724451665
If you think taxes isn't theft, try not paying them.

File: 1487520680611.jpg (251KB, 444x566px) Image search: [Google]

251KB, 444x566px

>>724451763
People do that all the time..usually by not working.

>>724445174
i would assume it means once youre in the room. its not empty anymore

Remember /b - wherever you go - there you are!

>>724451665
No, it's not theft. It's a legalized protection racket.
Government says, "hey there productive citizen, that's a fine looking paycheck you got there. It'd be a shame if someone were to take your assets by force and imprison you. Maybe you pay our taxes, maybe all this goes away.

No matter where you go, there you are.

File: 1479962103937.jpg (176KB, 792x868px) Image search: [Google]

176KB, 792x868px

>>724452022
You a ancap?

>>724440726
durp! think before you post next time

>>724452251
No, small government libertarian. I don't totally object to taxation, just its existing form.

File: 2017-02-13-09-19-43-40553053.jpg (8KB, 180x224px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 180x224px

>>724452022
>protection racket
because if the govt wasnt there at all, nothing bad would happen to you

>>724449685
I like anchovies

File: IMG_0217.jpg (69KB, 625x417px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 625x417px

>yfw you realize that the derivative of the area of a circle is it's circumference

File: 1458600090088.png (83KB, 224x326px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 224x326px

The Trump can't be stumped

File: 1455212184702.jpg (10KB, 256x256px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 256x256px

>>724452911

>>724452485
Yeah, and mafia protection kept the stores safe too.

>>724452751
>yfw when you realize the derivative of the volume of a sphere is the area of a circle

every single on of us once came out of a dick

File: giphy.gif (2MB, 700x394px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 700x394px

>>724444516
she's begging for it

>>724441198
That is most likely what happened originally with tomatoes. In the middle ages people thought they were poisonous.

>>724441220
>>724441220

Nein, Mozart. K.265

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yR0wlrq_h4

>>724446198
>>724446198
size of atoms compared to eachother is nothing next to size on atoms compared to macro objects,
the difference of the former adds almost nothing to the difference of the latter.

unless your talking about a naked proton which is hydrogen that is much much smaller than a large atom with its electrons.