revenge ideas >buddy living in unfurnished house for 3 months

>>724417300
Finger inside foreskin and then from behind wiped into nostril

>>724417300
It just makes you look like a child. Like you can shit on his stuff or something, but he'll just spend like an hour cleaning it up and throwing it out and call the cops/get some guys to jump you/ tell all your friends and make you a pariah. Just move out and don't speak to him if he's a dick it happens.

Jizz in the bong water

>>724417614
How weak. Oh no. Cant have to defend my side of story against being a pariah. Guys like you let things like this keep happening. If he's too cheap to contribute anything then he runs away. Im not saying break his shit but did anybody tell this guy not to be a prick? No. And if they did. He didn't listen. So why should OP to you?

And they say weed smokers aren't fucking scum.

Uh huh.

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>>724417614
It will be agony for that lazy sack of shit to clean up ops mess.

>>724417300

Pack your stuff and GTFO. Chalk it up to experience. We all have shitty housemate stories, thats the risk you take when you houseshare

>>724417923
Weed is in titmilk and drunks are worse

>>724417614
I said creative ideas you dipshit. I dont want to shit on his stuff like a nigger, i want to fuck him over in a creative way

>>724417923
This

>>724417923
Screw you man. Im a regular smoker and i have a job and am not lazy or a leech as OP's room mate. So fuck you, just fuck you

>>724417923
don't be that guy.

>>724417705
he should put his diarrhea in that shit mang

>>724418047
Yeah that's already done. I feel obligated to get even, given the level of disrespect

>>724418369

Youre going to be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life is this is your attitude to conflict

>>724417705
>>724418361
yeah im already gonna piss in it a bit

>>724417300
>revenge ideas
be a man and tell him to get his shit together.
or are you a man child too?

>>724418551
Poast pics or it ddnt happen!

>>724418529
Why ask somebody to move in just to mooch off them

>>724417300
Run up to him in the street and kick him in the dick.

>>724418529
why would i be looking over my shoulder? i've known him for years. he knows im not afraid of a scrap. thats why he's hiding, because he is a bitch who is afraid he's gonna get roughed up because he's done the wrong thing

>>724418677
I already have you dickhead, and he keeps doing it

>>724418884
People get all fucken retarded these days. You knew he was a cheapass Mong. And why be all tantrummy. We all do this. Nobody knows what's going on anymore. Got our phones I guess

Go to Jack in the Box
Byy 50 tacos for 25 bucks
Eat all of them
Drink a gallon of milk
Take laxative
Shit in a container
Dilute with water
Replace his wiper fluid with your shit water

>>724419009
Shows too much motive

>>724418551
Cause noone knows what piss smell like....
Get over yourself I've lived with multiple people who don't clean up, it sucks but it'll make you appreciated solitude and cleanliness that much more.
As for the taking of your herb and alcohol it may be more out of a they come and go viewpoint vs getting you for what's yours.
Doesn't help, but atleast it's a less vindictive view like the one you seem to be ok with taking.

>>724419009
this

Brush your asshole with his toothbrush. Piss in his shampoo. Shove a pair of his dirty socks/meat in his pillow. Take his weed. Any pets? Let them outside. Put the bong you teabagged in a jello mold. Shave your pubes and lace the bowl with them. Shave your pubes and leave them anywhere. Litterally anywhere. Your pubes are gross. Take every cleaning item with you. Slightly unscrew every cabinet enough to where it's annoying but he won't fix. Move every utensil and plate into one room. Put all the cups in another room. Unplug the fridge and move it. Maybe plug it back up maybe don't, doesn't matter. Eat his snacks. All of them. Get some maple syrup and put it on the floor somewhere to make a big sticky spot. Get something of his and put some syrup on it. So that every time he uses it it's just sticky enough to make him want to kill himself. Open every canned drink or food and don't touch them.

>doesn't wanna be a stinky nigger
>does childish dumb shit instead
>win win

>>724419005
because hes helped himself to my shit and has the balls to try to screw me over the bond.

obviously you're a neet who lives with mommy and have never had to work and pay for any of your own shit. go ask mom to heat you up some more hot pockets fatty

>>724419385
Not even close. Nobody wants serious dates and i never use roomies. Only back in college
>>724419256
This is devious but in an ideal world might be just fine

>>724419216
>>724419005
>>724418677
>>724418529
>>724417614
You are all being pussies
>>724417705
Yes

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Before you move out leave a big hunk of meat somewhere hidden and let it rot.

Wipe your baby batter all over his things.

Put icy hot in his shower gel/toothpase.

>>724419216
its mixed with bong water you fucking peon. you can't let people walk all over you without consequence.

>>724419497
Had a step sibling when I was younger. This was some of the things I did. His permanent face of slight discomfort made it worth it. Sure we would fight but this passive aggressive shit was the best. Highly recommend the fridge though. Moving it into another room always throws some someone over the edge.

>>724419009
>>724419256
thank you anons.

any psychos out there with some fucked ideas?

>>724418884

If revenge is your reaction to conflict then youre going to expect to receive revenge every time you stiff someone. Thats why you'll always be looking over your shoulder.

How do you know this tosser isnt the kind of faggot to go on /b/ and follow some of the suggestions. Youve been robbed of a few cans of beans, so now youve learnt your lesson, Now you GTFO. If he still comes at you THEN its time to cut a hole in his ceiling and shit in his room

>>724419809
Fucked up ideas in regards to fucking him up? Or his stuff?

>>724419841
If you can't tell from the tone of my posts, i'm a reasonable person who isn't used to doing vindictive things.

>>724419548
Decent at diffusing tense situations involving shit roomates, desired levels of respect being violated, and money problems.
>pussy
But by all means leave your dna vindictivly all over the shared lIving space and expect to get your deposit back.
I'd love to see that in small claims, yes your honor here's pics of his pubes everywhere and some jizzed in drug paraifiniala he left.

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>>724417300

it's not original, but it's a classic and it works.

your last day in the house, leave him an "upperdecker"

>>724419902
just horrible ideas in general that siggest a lot of thought has been given, more than he could possibly reciprocate

>>724419841
and also i dont stiff people. i do the right thing and have a good life as a result, and get mad when shitbags rip me off

>>724418369
Put Viagra and laxatives in the milk before you go

>>724419667
Could just not let them in the first place.
And any stoner worth his shit knows what bong water smells like.
And anyone who's pissed knows what piss smells like.
Hmm my bong smells like fucking ammonia maybe I should put some fresh water in it.

>>724420110
i hadn't thought about the topdeck good idea

keep em coming

>>724419841
>If he still comes at you THEN it's time to cut a hole in his ceiling and shit in his room

Here's the thing about what anon said above. The trick here is to instead cut a hole in the roof then figure out where that hole in the roof leads to the house. Once you've figured this out then put a hole in the ceiling. The hole would then lead to tons of issues. From water damage to animals in the house. Really wanna take the next step? Dashing let the roof and punch holes in it with a hammer. You did say he was trying to claim you caused damage to the house but if that's the case why not actually cause some damage?

Get a broad to put all fork handles inside mystery pocket

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replace shampoo with nair, but i bet that degenerate doesn't shower anyways.

>>724420409
hes a lazy cunt and never cleans the bong so it stinks like shit. i could replace the whole chamber with piss and you wouldn't know.

your posts sound like they were written by a # blessed soccer mom go fuck yourself

>>724417300
Jizz in his bong and buy fentanyl laced weed and give it to him.

>>724420598
youre right, he doesnt have any soap in the shower, doesnt use it

allahu akbar

>>724420388
>>724420449
this stuff is gold

>>724420694
Id rather smoke the fentanyl weed myself

Fill up his bathtub

>>724420871
Hi cleveland

Bake cookies to make the house smell nice

>>724420449
>dashing
Sorry, de-shingle. That's the way to go about it.

>>724419009
Lmao

>>724420449
i appreciate the idea, i could do that after i move out. if i damage property now, i will be in the wrong for real which would be a big disadvantage

Use a towel under the dish drainer

>>724420987
And then bitch there's no cookies. Or eat em and bitch there's no cookies

>>724420987
Cookies made out of rubber. Or paper. Or shit. Probably shit. No, actually just put shit in the oven. Don't even bake it. Fuck it.

try everything in your power to make the place as dirty as possible, but in a subtle way, then do ev everything you can too get him evicted.

>>724421038
Hey man moving the fridge. Pube bowl. Still highly viable options.

Wiper fluid guy here.
Psycho answer:
Wait till night
Kinap his pet
Cut its throat over the dryer while his clothes are in it
Drop the corpse in
Run the dryer
When the thudding wakes him up, you will have revenge

Unroll an entire bag of toilet paper and seperate every square and stack them in neat piles

>>724421288
Everywhere. In every room.

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>>724418125
this guy i knew had a similar situation. he rubbed one out into the rivals peanut butter and watched him eat it over a 6 month period

>>724421209
the fridge is a great idea. the washer too. i have a furniture trolley at the house ex dee

I might leave a baggie of chopped weed with ground pubes and dried cum mixed in

Fill his fridge with bottles of cum, or a soda he doesn't like, both work the same.

>>724417300
Stand up for yourself instead of letting him do whatever he wants and then putting your dick in his bong out of spite. If yoy know how he behaves you might as well have just bought him a six pack and said here ya go instead of counting the times he wronged you so you have some kind of argument against him.

Pube bowl guy here.

For an appropriate psycho answer I need more details. Any personal belongings of significant meaning? Pets? Medicine he needs? Money? Etc.

>>724421495
Gonna be honest the dried cum makes it gay. But hey, more power to you.

>>724421570
Wiper fluid guy here. Yeah. Meds are always viable. Like replacing diabetic pills with sugar pills

>>724417300
1) your dick is ugly
2) trim your fucking pubes you fucking disgusting piece of shit
3) by some trousers that don't look like they're made out of shirts

>>724421666
>Diabolical

>>724417300
Put super glue (or gorilla, etc) on the mouthpiece of his bong right before you know he'll use it.

Eat ramen

All you need is a baseball bat sized loaf of french bread, a cat, and some string.

Burn the whole fucking house down. There are lots of ways to do this and get away with it.

if you dont care that he'll know it's you as long as you dont have to deal with it, you could put a piece of cheese or dead animal somewhere hidden in his room. after a few weeks (after youve moved out) it'll start to smell really bad and he wont be able to find it.

>>724417300
Rape him.

Murder him

>>724421666
Or insulin with saline. Or antidepressants with high doses of Adderall. Or just cleaning out all his meds. If I knew more the list could grow.

Gather some objects that go off slowly but stink like a dirty nigger when they do, eggs or prawns work best. Find a hard to reach place that he wouldn't think to look in, such a the inside of a curtain rail (take the end caps off if they have them, fill and replace etc). Make sure the house is as warm as possible the last few days you are there. Sit back and enjoy the fact that at some point, if you've hidden them well enough, he will probably gonna get someone to come in and check the walls for a dead rat or something.

Pot plants, ornaments with hollow bases and the backs of photo frames work well too. Enjoy.

>>724421833
Paint thinner?

Tbh not op but wanna know arson tricks. Care to share?

Don't do anything that he can prove you did. He's obviously a lazy fuck who sees nothing wrong with what he does and seems like the tyoe to call the cops.

Put a gay ad up every day on Craigslist m4m or something. Make sure he can't prove you did whatever it is you decide to do

>>724421234
thats a bit too psycho and i could have thought of that myself
>>724421288
this is the level of immaturity and forethought i'm looking for

>>724421888
Trruee. Damn we think alike. Lol

you could always cover everything you can with cups filled with water.

>>724422082
Well you said psycho. Toilet paper placement isnt psycho

>>724417300
or you could get a mini fridge with a padlock so he won't eat your shit

Simple, all you'll need is:
>a cat
>silly string
>a dryer screen
>rc car
>rubik's cube
I'll let you figure out the rest...

>>724421888
Trips checking trips

>>724417300
yoooooo my friend has the exact same bong floor and couch seriously

asshole on his toothbrush

>>724421570
the only things he uses regularly are metamucil, the fridge, the bong and his bed. his room has nothing good in it just shit. the only thing he cherishes is his 4x4

Carbomb his house

>>724420748
nah he just uses yours

>>724421643
>anything to do with men is gay

closet fag detected

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>>724422138

I see this. I appreciate it. Anonymous friendship is beautiful and short. Let's ruin this man's life and enjoy the journey doing it.

>eat a shitload of brownies
>attach bong to butthole
>lay massive turd down bong

>>724422389
Faggot

put a needle in his bed

>>724421667
get raped by a gorilla fuckface

>>724422267

Pretty sure your friend is a cunt then

>>724422448
Clammo. He was right.

>>724422299
Cut his brakes.

Also that's why the fridge is the best method for fucking him over without fucking yourself over.

And fucking checked. Nice trips and doubles.

>>724421667
No it isnt

Change the lock the day you leave and throw out the key

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>>724417300
Take some of his shit and throw it in a random dumpster after you leave.

Open the lower compartments of the fridge and smear actual shit on the box ceiling (hidden from view, not too close to the front).

Flip his mattress. Piss on it. Wait till it dries. Flip it again.

I've been through similar with worse roommates (stealing money from my wallet. raising my "share" of rent to 90% of rent cost. stealing my booze, pot, food, etc.)

If anons want more revenge tactics and these are too tame, I have more. Just ask and I'll post a few more.

Suck his dick everyday, get really good at it, then one day just stop and never do it again.

Light his skin on fire

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>>724422448
>Faggot

When some other anon calls him a faggot for you and you don't have to. Nice.

Make a copy of your house key far away from your city
Wait to move out, give him hiskey and keep the copy
Wait a few months
Learn to make Riacin behind 7 proxies
Sneak into his house
You know what to do

>>724422650
this is actually a kinda good idea.

>>724422650
He's not trying to torture the man

>>724417300
>>724417614

This. If you're serious about revenge, don't do anything now.

Wait a year or two, then get your revenge when you're out of the picture and nothing can be traced back to you.

>>724422650
This. And it works under other circumstances too

Stab him

>>724417300
>>he apologises, buys more beers, then drinks the whole lot before i have a chance to have one
kek

LSD

>>724422036
perceptive anon. he is exactly the kind of nigger who does wrong, then threatens to call the cops when his head is about to get broken

>>724417300

put your fingers up your ass then go around and touch everything. you don't need to smear visible shit, just put an invisible layer of feces on every surface.

he will end up consuming and covering himself with small amounts of your shit for months

>>724423249
wouldn't work. he likes LSD

Put your fingers up your ass

>>724423283
There's only bacteria there no viruses that we know of. Shit would die in a day or two. Pussystank is more fungussy. Even very first post in here is shitty in comparison to pussystank

>>724422203
There are ways to be psycho that don't involve torturing animals. anyway, he doesn't have a pet

>>724423332
Secretly lace his food or drinks with it then yell nightmare repeatedly and have police sirens going off.

guys im emptying the fridge, its going in the bathroom

Cum in a shampoo bottle filled with nair and leave it for him to use

>>724423461
Pube bowl guy here.

Fucking nice.

Pics needed though.

Try as hard as you can to keep living with him

>>724422877
This. I have found the best way to get vengeance is to remain or become friends with the target and slowly destroy their life. It's all about getting in close with them, making them think you're their bestie and then giving them strategically planned advice that crushes their hopes and dreams one by one.

Currently doing this to an asian twat who wrecked a party I hosted by inviting a ton of trashy +1's without asking even though he himself was a +1. I've made him take to drinking dangerous amounts of alcohol, begin to think dying would be better than living, and start pushing away all his shitty asian friends. All by being really nice and hanging out with him at other parties and gatherings. He thinks we're bros. He thinks I like him. He's going to prison this year and doesn't even know it.

>>724423392
Don't reply to me, you fucking 13 year old.

>>724423577
that dude must have a really thick skull to fall for bullshit like that

>>724423566
what the fuck for

scoop out the butter container, do a massive shit in it, then put butter back on top, let it melt a bit and put it back in the fridge, wait for the day he reaches the shit

also, piss on a plate and put it in the freezer, then you are free to slip it under his door so when he wakes up he has a massive piss circle in his room

I'm sleep
Random anon not op

>>724423832
sweet dreams

>>724420560
Wtf is this dumb ass shit? What a shitty fucking photo.

>>724417300
Shave your pubes and sprinkle them around the place

Got any venting or rafters? shit in that.
Got any corners or any furniture you're leaving behind? Shit in it/behind it.
you say he has a mattress? Cut a hole, shit in it.
Shit in his bong.
Buy a few gallons of cooking oil, and just before you leave, slather it on every floor and every possible thing you can think of. Especially around the toilet.
Know where he hides his drugs? soak it in oil.
Find some clear vanilla extract sold in any store. Put a few drops on literally every plate/cup you got and rub it all around. That shit is unbearable to eat by itself, so itll just ruin eveything he pours along with it.
got carpets? get screws, misallign carpet, screw it into floor in random places, make sure they stick out enough for the cunt to cut his foor.

Play songs he was dear to as a child from a stereo he can't find, also burn everything you can get from his childhood, if unobtainable, get closer with him, then know everything that he remembers from his childhood, then when he's sleeping break it, and if it's a doll or anything cut it's throat, and do something that would scare someone for life if it was a real human being, it's not about destroying his possessions, destroy his fragile mind.

>>724423692
He's not the brightest bulb but isn't stupid either. Very average, med student with decent grades.

I've done this to people way smarter than him though. It's not murder if they arrive at the idea of suicide by themselves.

>>724423556
I really shouldn't do anything now, because he might come home early and catch me out. tomorroe morning the movers are coming, thats the time for revenge related activities. they will probably have a laugh when i put the fridge and washer in the bathroom.

Get a copper coin and polish it until it's mirror finish. And by polishing it I mean make it so shiny that jews cry blood at the very sight of it. Add a little bit of bleach into the bong water. Just a tiny, teensy bit so it doesn't smell. Shake it so it mixes up and toss the coin in there. Congratulations - it's now slowly producing chlorine gas in very small quantity. The amount is negligible, but long term (ab)use will bring it's benefits.

>>724423638
Down with men!

>>724423566
I kind of agree with this

>>724423577
>He's going to prison this year and doesn't even know it
Nice. I'd ask for details, but you'd be retarded to give them and I'll give you the benifit of the doubt. gj anon hope it all goes according to plan

Piss on his toothbrush daily

Leave a fish head or 2 in a corner somewhere well hidden, the smell will become disgusting in a few days.

Leave sugar/sugar syrup around the skirting of the house or in his room. Ants will flock to these areas.

Salt his plants.

Leave raw meat in the backyard to attract animals. Leave bird seed on the window panes to attract birds.

>>724424090
vanilla on all the plates and cups is perfect

>>724417300
just like a single drop of jizz on his toothbrush, he´ll never notice!

>>724424297

The gas will have disappeared by the time he uses the bong though

>>724423455
waste of good acid

>>724424406
There's nothing to tie me to him because we only hang out in group settings but thank you for your support.

>>724424292
Shame. If I didn't have work tomorrow I'd be there for the next thread. Well on that note I leave you with my ideas of stickiness and loose cabinets. Best of luck on your future passive aggressive endeavors.

>>724424604
But effective method of causing a bad trip.

Get revenge on your parents for giving you your baby penis

>Moved in with obviously shitty roommate
>things went as expected

Sure, have some revenge, but you'll still be a retard in shitty living conditions. Have fun.

he just came home lucky i didnt do anything yet

>>724424784
Timestamp and yours. Nao

>>724423577
>This. I have found the best way to get vengeance is to remain or become friends with the target and slowly destroy their life. It's all about getting in close with them, making them think you're their bestie and then giving them strategically planned advice that crushes their hopes and dreams one by one.
This takes a lot of time and IMO not worth it. Just succeed on your own and let someone else be karma on their time.

>>724424851
no i won't. i have a decent place to go to

>>724422299
Sand in the gas tank

Oil in place of wiper fluid

Attach a slightly opened can of sardines to his exhaust pipe

Cut the brake lines

Remove his tag sticker on his license plate

I can keep going.......

>>724424696
true, but he would figure it out after and could get me busted

>>724425176
dont stop now

>>724423455
>>724424696

I've had the idea of dosing somebody heavily while they're passed out, and strapping them down while they're laying flat on their back: arms, legs, torso, and especially head, looking straight up at the ceiling so they can't move their head at all, only their eyes. And another strap for their chin to keep their mouth completely shut.

And when they wake up tripping, they're under a flourescent light with weird trippy clown music.

And what you do is stand over them telling them that you wish that they would wake up from the coma they're in. "Please wake up. You've been in a coma in this hospital for a year. Please wake up."

And watch their eyes, tripping balls at the situation, fill with fear and confusion that they can't move or respond.

>>724425399
holy shit you're demented

>>724424963
Then why do you still live there, dummy?

>>724417300
Kill him.

>>724425399
This is actually really cool, saving for future use.

>>724424624
15 hours from now my man. same OP pic + header

>>724425486
because i'm moving out tomorrow, retard

>>724424284
in some instances it is, i don't know in detail but ask a lawyer and they'll confirm
anyway, i doubt you could do that shit to me

>>724425483

I mean, not really demented. You wouldn't hurt them. You just fuck with their brain a bit for fun. After they pass out again, you unstrap them and clean up your mess. The LSD will leave their system.

>>724417300
plaster his mattress to the floor with cyanoacrilate.

dust the bowl of his bong with enough pcp to melt his brain

>>724425773
Why low key encourage others to try and manipulate you? That's just strange.

>>724420110
Topkecker
Also, upperchecked

>>724425987
did you take what i said as an invitation to manipulate me? because it's not

>>724425778

I'd rather be waterboarded thanks

>>724426247

Now imagine waterboarding on LSD

>>724417300
he never cleans, i can think of 1000 things, all to do with leaving gross shit behind places he probably never knew existed. But tbh, you knew he was a scum bag so you kind of asked for this.

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>>724417300
Czek'd

You could tell by his initial state in the house what he was as a house dweller and how he would continue

You thought he would change if you brought good things....this is what women think when they date or marry a "bad boy"

So there is something homoerotic about your behavior, and maybe you are gay and this is just fine with you, which is fine with me if you are.

But why are you bringing your shitty homoerotic relationship, WHICH YOU CHOSE WITH FULL KNOWLEDGE, here like a spurned lover ?

dafuq! .....

>>724426441

>mine
>>724426523


you fucking beat me to it, mang!

>>724417300
Buy a pack of meat, open it and leave it out. hiding it might be a good idea.

>>724420560
Nice feet

>>724425373
Gotcha fam

Gummy bears on his car on a hot day(fucks his paint up)

If carpeted, put fish juices all over the carpet, that. Shit. Stinks.

Hide drugs in his car and make an anonymous reporting of a drug deal with the license plate number

Siphon gas off his car and replace it with water, or just add water to it

Dump engine coolant on his engine block, it smells like burning asshole

Drain just enough air from one or many tires and he will get flats when on the road

Poke small holes in random fluid tubes to cause some spicy leaks

Put as large of a cut into his engine belt as you want to risk, or loosen his belt tensioner to the extreme

Honestly, he has fucked you out of a good bit of money, do something that is going to cost a lot of money to fix. I highly recommend doing the sand in gas tank, fucking up the belt, and poking holes in fluid tubes. These options are extremely hard to link to you and highly effective, just don't be stupid about it and use gloves and check for cameras, dispose of any evidence. Follow the golden rule of can never be too cautious, and happy hunting m8. Fuck him good

>>724417300
Start wearing a chastity cage and get large black men to fuck you and degrade you on a daily basis, that'll show your roommate you mean business.

>>724426779
This is good shit

Also what do you mean by "engine block"? What part is the block? I'm not good at cars

>>724417300
You knew what you were getting into, stupid fuck

Make his bills as high as possible. Use as much electricity, water, ect. Have fun!

>>724427087
Under the hood is a big block in the center, the engine block. The sand in gas tank idea fucks up the cylinders inside and can cause you to have to replace the whole thing. It's very very expensive.

Just leave him. Never even speak to the basterd again. Know that he will need you as a friend again, never replay.

I'm sure I'm late to the party, but post an ad on Craigslist in the free section offering a washer and dryer in good working condition. I did this to a Dentist in New York after I legit tried to get rid of a working dryer and got well over 20 calls and like 50 e-mails in under half an hour. Just use his e-mail and number.

Just don't use your account, you can make posts without one.

OP here

after he came home we ignored each other for a while then he broke down and we sorted it out. his mom has cancer. i feel like a douche now.

thanks for the ideas, this thread is a gold mine, capping for the memories

>>724428432
No this is the real OP. He isn't home yet and I'm trying the Craigslist washer and dryer ad prank.

>>724428367
this is brilliant

cum in the bong

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>>724428483
no im the real OP and his mom has cancer and im a douche

he took his bong and went to a friends, i forgot i teabagged it. whoops

>>724427175
and this post was supposed to do what?

Put hair removal cream in his shampoo

feed him sausages made of poo

Put a homeless man to stay there before moving out, your friend will be surprised lol

>>724428636
Look dude, Chris Kyle died right? Before he croaked, he called Jesse Ventura a fake SEAL and accused him of stolen valor. See Jesse actually graduated from BUD/S class 58 back in '70, and spent 4 years as a frogman on a UDT, well UDT stands for Underwater Demolitions Team, and it's even the first half of BUD/S, hence Basic Underwater Demolition Training/SEAL. Now Frogmen and Seals were practically the same thing, just different responsibilities. But in 1983 the UDT's were officially re-classified as SEAL Teams. So not only did the guy graduate from the same school as Kyle, but that meant he could technically call himself a SEAL, I mean hell, he earned it for being a god damn badass.

Do you think I give a shit that Chris Kyle died? No, I hate him for calling stolen valor on Jesse just because he has a vendetta against him. Dying doesn't mean I automatically have to feel sorry for him from now on and forget my distaste for him. He ain't even in the top 5 for confirmed kills, and those who earned the top 5, did so like 60 years ago. He's overrated.

My point man, is that everyone fucking gets cancer, you're probably gonna get cancer, that's just cancer for ya man. It doesn't excuse his actions.

>>724429007
lol you fucking clown

>>724421961
Potato peelings, pull one of the small appliances apart and fill it with potato peels and let em.go off, stinks like fuck..

Or you could do what a kiwi mate told me he did when the real estate agent fucked him over, he shat in a bag, froze it, and used a microplane grater to grate it all over the carpet... he wont be able to find it, but the whole place will stink like shit

Or you could just break his nose.. like the bitch deserves

>>724419256
Kek these are pretty good

>>724420987
Make em with exlax then leave em on counter for him with a note something like sorry things didn't work out let's not be shitty to each other because it didnt

Loosen the wheel nuts on the driver's front tire of the car just a little, will take time for the nuts to work off the rest of the way. Right front only.

>>724421771
kek

If he owns a car, slash his tires and when he confronts you, say you don't know anything about it. Make sure it's only the tires facing away from the house so it's not noticeable when you walk out the front door. He would see two fresh tires that aren't slashed, but on the other side are two fucked tires that he most likely won't notice upon closer glance. Piss in the bong water as well

>>724429153
I feel you re chris kyle. im still moving out, but on good terms now. he said he will get me the bond and won't be a dick about it.

ill still put the fridge in the bathroom for a laugh tho

Clip the seal off the electric meter sometime after you leave, he will have to pay a meter tampering fee.

>>724430178
>he said he will get me the bond
Obviously it's gone, dude

>>724430138
good idea but he drives a 4x4, it would be on an obvious lean

>>724430295
nah he works he's good for it. he's not broke, just lazy

>>724424431
>literally salting his earth

this would be very satisfying

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>>724417300

Move out, wait a few weeks / months, then get your hands on some bedbugs and somehow get them into his house.

Over the next couple of months they will feed of him at night and multiply by the hundreds. It will cost him thousands of dollars to fix his whole house, plus he will be covered in mosquito-like bites everywhere untill he fixes it.

>>724428031
dumping a bottle of brake fluid on his car is effective too. strips the paint and totally fucks the car

>>724417300

in your situation i would have just seen it as a challenge of how much of a slob i can be.

i guess it's just how i grew up. i noticed my parents' attitude to housework and my inner reaction towards whichever of them complained first was that they're now the sucker who has to do the work for having too high of a disgust threshold.

>>724430799
thats great now where the fuck do i get bedbugs from? are you taking stupid pills?

>>724426957
you are posting on the incorrect board, let me redirect you

>>>/trash/

>>724417300
rape his mom you retard, doi

>>724431037
Stupid pills? Just ask some guys driving in a pest control van if you could get some bed bugs for 100 bucks or something, not that hard.

reading all of your replies makes me think you're actually too pussy to do ANY of the stuff recommended here, you just want to let off some steam online like an angry introvert would

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>>724431161
>revenge thread
>decent thread, anons come out with some good ideas
>then
>hurr durr bedbugs

Idiot ex-gf had a computer, and was the type of person who has over 9000 icons in no particular order on the desktop.

>move the mouse cursor off the screen
>screenshot desktop
>set image as wallpaper
>move all icons into one folder
>move folder off screen

Computer will be working as normal, but whenever they click any "icons" the computer won't respond (because they're not real icons, just part of the wallpaper pic).

Dubs for the lawds forgiveness

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>>724431733
checked

>>724431582
Make sure you hide the taskbar too.

>>724431161
i'm not worried if an poster on an anonymous imageboard thinks i'm a pussy.

i certainly would have fucked around and left a few surprises. in the end we worked it out like men and i didn't have to resort to childish pranks. now i have tons of kekworthy ideas if i ever need it

Can of Thermite under his pillow with a pressure switch.

>>724431780
>roommate treats you like shit
>cry on internet for ideas for revenge
>pussy out on all the ideas, work it out "like men" aka you just left without doing anything

>>724431374
I don't think you understand the severity of bedbugs, don't be fooled by their "cozy" name

>>724431999
nah thermites will take too long to eat away the wood. not sure what the pressure switch is for.

also, checked

>>724417923
OP himself smokes weed. Did you miss the part where he said his roommate steals his weed? Or do you think OP is a scumbag too for wanting to get revenge on a scumbag?

>>724432181
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

>>724432111
yes im leaving without doing anything. him screwing me for the bond was my motive for revenge. we sorted it out, now revenge is unnecessary. how does that make me a pussy?

>>724432181
Thermite. Not termites. Otherwise known as the shit that burns hotter than the surface of the sun and is self-oxidizing, so is impossible to put out before it burns itself out.

>>724432300
it wasn't that funny

>>724432302
I look forward to seeing this thread again when he drinks/smokes the bond money away.

>>724432303
he drank a few of my beers, melting his head off seems a bit excessive

>>724432374
im keeping a key for if this happens

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>>724417300
sounds like a real piece of shit

put a ham, and few open cans of anchovies in the heating vent, close it.

1. Go to store and a gallob of bleach and ammonia
2. Go home, turn the water valve next to the toilet off so it will not refill
3. Flush the toilet and empty the all of the remaining water out so that the head and the bowl are empty.
4. Fill the head of the toilet with ammonia. Allow to refill.
5. Fill the toilet bowl with bleach and water
6. Leave your house for a few days
7. ???
8. Profit!

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Why are anons still giving advice? It's obvious he isn't going to go through with anything. Worst case of stockholm syndrome I've seen here in a while

>pic related, it's OP

>>724417300
send him a basket of poison muffins

Get some fresh fish and freeze it, then hide it under a floorboard, it will take a bit to thaw and a few weeks to rot, then it will absolutely stink the entire house

>>724432820
fair call. in my defence i have been here 4 months, which isn't very long. its not like i have been putting up with his shit for a long time

>>724417300
You're a fucking pussy and he has basically taken advantage of this. It should have been nipped in the bud the second he took anything of yours but you have no spine so here you are doing shit behind his back like a little bitch.

Try to make the house look the same as when you first arrived. Mattress in the middle of the livingroom, no furniture, just mess. It will remind him of what you did for him and what he took for granted

>>724423577
sounds like a lot of work.
how's he going to prison without knowing?

>>724433042
fuck off. i confronted him heaps of times and he kept doing it when i wasnt around. now i am leaving after only 4 months.

you sound like a child who runs away from every conflict

>>724433194
that got me right in the feels

>>724417300
smear all the walls with poo

>>724417300
just move out mate if hes gone for the weekend leave.

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>>724422299
OP, put a fuckload of these in his matress, into walls.
Have airco or ventilation in the house? Throw eggs and cheese into them.
Go into a forest nearby if available acquire shrooms, rub them on walls and floor in darkest areas of the house( especially his room).
Want moar?

>>724433795
go on

>>724417300
take a dump on his chest

>>724433619
yeah thats the plan cob. If he was going to screw me over with the bond, i was going to leave some surprises

>>724433384
>you sound like a child who runs away from every conflict

No, that's exactly what you are doing lmao

Order loads of takeaway food to his house and perhaps other services throughout the day and night so it's relentless. Start off with small amounts and get bigger and more ridiculous as the day goes on

>>724434567
how is resolving a conflict peacefully running away?

>>724434175
Drill small holes into not visible sections of the fridge, pour any liquid into.
Dent/crack parts of the fridge radiator.
Put the fridge head over heels.
Pour sand into the washing machine then pour liquid plaster into evacuation tube.
Force sponges into water drains.
Unmount electrical outlets, detache cables, replace outlets.
Pour rotten fish juice into any available hole ( think sponge clogged water drains)

>>724422243
>Once you have it, throw all of it out and punch him in the face.
>Call the cops after you remove your weed from the premises
Does he not realize that he's a participant in an illegal activity and all it takes is one call and some preparation to destroy his life? Inform him.
"Put my shit back in the fridge or pantry, you have one day."
"oh, yeah (or something equally immature)? Or what?"
"You'll see."

>>724434697
Because you made a thread telling us how much you despised this guy, asking for ideas on how to get back at him, all while you had already sorted it out already

>>724433795
I'm >>724434841
Also, my mother had 2 cancers and a stroke, I've never been an asshole a leech or a slob, he must pay.

>>724417300
Holy fucking shit, OP.
>Call the cops. Move your weed to another place and call the fucking cops.
How is this hard?
He's stealing from you.
End his retarded social life.
Jesus Christ, you're both idiots.
>I don't want to go that far
You were going to move out. You were going to end your relationship as it currently stands.
He's still responsible for the rent in most cases even after being arrested.
Call the cops and THEN move out if you're a bitch about it.

>>724417300
find his tooth brush, put it in someones ass brush first. Take pictures.
Leave it as if nothing happened and post pictures to him in 2 months time.

>>724434968
nah he came home unexpectedly mid thread. good luck with the next girl you meet, that is if her wrangler lets you

>>724417300
Hide some of your weed in his room or in his shit and call the cops saying how worried you are that your roommate is a drug addict. Tell them you've seen him stash his drugs somewhere specific.

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>>724422266
Dubs checking dubs checking trips checking trips?

>>724435417
cops would laugh

Buy fish from the market put pieces of it in the air ducts in certain rooms.

>>724435727
Better yet, put it inside the curtain rods.

No one will ever change those

>>724417300
move out with all your shit

>>724417300
Op if you are here and not a faggot put alfalfa seeds all through his carpet saw a gf who did this to her ex on tv she turned on the smoke alarm and when he got home after from being away the whole floor was coverd in grassy alfalfa

>>724435966
Post tomorrow at 10:00 pm au est

>>724417300
Find all his pot and smoke it, then cum inside his bong and just leave it.

>>724431582

wow is this thread actually a time machine back to year 1999 office pranks? clever!

>>724424173
This is excellent and under-rated

>>724422650
its revenge, not murder of a man's sanity

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>>724419667
I feel like peeing in bong water sounds grosser than it is. I wouldnt know tho.

>>724436257
you're right, it's not really gonna do much but its still gross

>>724436001
i'm still going to do some harmless pranks for the lulz. i'll do another thread with the pranks and reactions

>>724417300

jesus

i dunno if you can do anything

you're jewcumsized

i suppose you could murder your parents

and destroy israel

and america

and all jewrab states?

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Blow up your apartment. Start a club where you can bond with others who to fill some sort of emptiness in your life or something, god. Then use said club to further your agendas and get some jollies on the way. Find out friend is you all a long.

>>724436697
every time a man has an idiotic thought he ought to post it on the internet for all to too

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I was going to reccomend making a frozen saucer of piss to slide under his door for when he gets back but you guys share a freezer, could save it for after you actually leave. Just slide that bad boy under the door when you think he's asleep.

>>724436819
we have lived together in 2 different houseshares before with no issues, thought this time would be all good

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>>724417300

Ok, here is what you do.
>Keep buying beer, don't say anything when he drinks it.
>Buy stronger and stronger beer.
>Start leaving whiskey / vodka bottles out that are 1/3 full. Don't drink it to 2/3s, just dump the rest in a jug to keep refilling it a little when he drinks some of it.
>Start leaving more full bottles around. You can pick up something like Old Thompson for 7$ a liter.
>Start leaving open and nearly full bottles everywhere.
>When you notice him slightly buzzed on a Friday night, start drinking and peer pressuring him to drink. Except your drinking apple juice.
>Wake up next morning, bro hair of the dog, repeat.

It should take like 2 months to turn him into a total alcoholic who's drinking a liter every 2 days.

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>>724436780
Listen, ye I was memeing pretty hard with the plot of that movie. Idk, I guess I was kinda bored. It's 4am where I'm at. Don't let that distract you from the fact that in 1998 , the Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell in a Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcers table.

>>724436836
>find an old LP record in its cover
>take off the plastic sleeve and shit in it
>if iys a solid log, add a little water and smoosh it up
>slide the open end of the sleeve under his door, knock and jump on it, spraying shit everywhere.

>>724420560
print this out and leave copies of it everywhere

>>724437005
This would be highly effective if he wasnt a bad alcoholic already

>>724417300
Position sharpies around the house so that every time he moves they go in his pooper

>>724417300
>can afford to furnish a whole apartment
>can afford to buy stock piles of food and snacks and beer
>can afford to keep buying drugs and not even smoke
>cant afford to live alone
something doesn't add up OP. Either you're extremely stupid or actually retarded. Pick one

>>724417300
Your roommate is a lazy potsmoker, fuck him. Just take your shit and move out.

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>>724437284
kek

>>724437164
just pour milk on his bed.
do you have carpet or rugs? pour milk on that.

Order a gay porn magazine in his name and keep having them "accidentally end up in the neighbors mailboxes by mistake"

>>724437309
fucking this

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>>724437005

>>724437164

Oh that makes step two easier.

>Leave vodka bottles out all the time.
>Slowly start adding Everclear to the vodka, don't do this too quickly.
>Start buying Everclear 150% or any other 150% and leaving it around other bottles of whiskey or vodka.
>Wait until one night when he has drunk at least 750 ml of whiskey.
>Take all the liquor out except 1/5 a 750ml of whiskey and a full bottle 1L of everyclear 150 (except you replaced it with everclear 190 inside). Make up some excuse that you took it to a party. Try to time this on a Sunday if your state doesn't sell liquor that day.
>Leave for the night.
>He will likely drink the entire liter of 95% everclear.
>If he doesn't die, you confront him the next day about his problems. Call parents / police / who ever. He will be shaking and dry heaving like a raging addict.

Hopefully he will get put in rehab and his parents will pay his rent for a bit.

>>724437309
i don't need to pick one because your entire post is more unwittingly retarded than i could ever try to be

>>724417300
Clean up his place for him. Rearrange the furniture, dry-clean all the cushions, sweep, mop, vacuum, and take out all the trash.

You know. All the "trash."

What the fuck's he gonna do about it. You damn well know he preferred the place a pig sty with a bunch of beer and drugs all over, but he can't exactly take you to court and be like "your honor my roommate shouldn't get bond money because he threw out my well used cum-stained CP mags and my year-old smelly weed sock"

Best part: buy him food, as usual, but mustard. Just mustard. Nothing else. Fill his entire fridge with unopened bottles of mustard. Maybe stick a can of blue paint in there. Tell him you were going to drink it but forgot and left it there, tell him to save it for you.

>>724437502
and how's that? There is no flaw in my logic

>>724437514

>autism

>>724437573
the biggest flaw is the brain that prompts you to post such drivel

>>724437674
enjoy living in squalor then, you fucking faggot. 404 Imminent

>>724437824
i can afford nice things because i dont live alone you fucking dumb dumb.

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>>724437573
There are several things wrong with your logic.

Just know that you're lacking any amount of worldly perspective.

ps: You're fucking retarded.

>>724425655
im excited for the Revenge and what you'll pick, unless you're just moving the fridge and washer

>>724438165
im going with the dick sucking