post your battle stations (no tidying up)

>>724412368
what game is that

>>724413195
Digimon World 2

>>724412368
>kroger water
mark of a superior aquatrician

I've been constipated for three days and my asshole finally rumbled and purged what feels like pounds of pure evil. I am currently sitting on the toilet with my devastated sphincter still quivering from what has just transpired. I feel a great relief in my guts, yet I know this is just the beginning.

I couldn't make a new thread because Clover is retarded so I clicked the first thread and shared my tale - I just had to process the horrors I experienced into words in an effort to come to terms and steel myself for what's ahead. Wish me luck on the remainder of my journey /b/retheren.

>>724413602
>infowars

oh no, it's retarded.

>>724413766
Just grab hold of something and push.

WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR?!

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>>724412368

battlestation w/ a bit extra battle

>>724413766
It actually started about a week prior to that fateful night. One day, I didn't have a successful bowel movement. Well, that day turned into two days, and those two days turned into a week. I attempted several times to evacuate this massive block of feces during this time period, but no matter how hard I pushed (even though they say you're not supposed to push too hard), nothing came out.

So, after a week or so of not pooping and plenty of stomach pain, I felt the need to call in the troops. I went to the local drug store and picked up some Magnesium Citrate.

A lot of people don't even know about this product due to its lack of branding and its generic looking bottle; however, if you've ever visited a gastroenterologist, this is what they'll recommend as a stool softener.

So I got my bottle of MC and went to work that morning. Luckily I work in a small office with very few people, most of whom were not there that day. I drank the entire bottle that morning and then I waited. It was very crucial that this process was complete before 5:00 that day because it was the night of my fiancé's office Christmas party. Coincidentally, she just happened to work for a group of gastroenterologists.

Around lunchtime the pain in my stomach became overwhelming, to the point at which I had to call my boss and tell him I must go home immediately to lie down. I was having excruciating stomach pains. Once I got home, I could barely walk. I managed to make it to my bed, where I just laid still. It hurt to move at all. I never felt the urge to go, though, and I ended up falling asleep after about an hour.

I woke up around 3:30 or so still with the agony residing in my lower abdomen. Luckily my fiancé got off work early that day so she could get ready for the party. She came over. She knew about my predicament and offered any help she could, telling me I needed to get up and walk around a bit.

>>724414176
So I got up and did a load of laundry. Meanwhile, she took my spot on the bed and fell asleep. And not much longer after she dozed off, it happened.

I ran -- actually, it was much more of a stiff-legged hop -- from my kitchen all the way to the bathroom in my bedroom. This was it. It was time. I was going to do it no matter what. The pain was too great for this to be another false alarm. I told myself no matter how much it hurt, it was going to come out this time. So I bore down on the counter next to my toilet with one hand, gripped the soft green toilet seat with my other, closed my eyes, and pushed.

SLAM! It sounded like a bomb coming out of a cannon. I felt as if my rear end had dilated over four times its normal size for this birth. Out of breath, I sat there for a minute, allowing the small amounts of liquidy substance to follow this massive brick of poo out of my system.

Okay, I said to myself, I'd better flush this before the second wave of diarrhea hits me. I turned to face this evil villain that had plagued me for a week now, but the water was too dark to see the culprit that sat at the bottom like lead weight. Still, I was ready to say goodbye to this massive ball of waste. So, without a square of toilet paper in the bowl, I pushed the little death lever to flush my toilet.

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Not much battle, little bit of station

>>724414231
Big mistake. The poop was so large and so thick that it alone completely stopped up my toilet. The water began to rise.

Now, I've had my share of overflowing toilets. I knew how to handle this. I'll just reach down and quickly turn off the water to avoid any spillage.

This time, that did not work. The water, the poo, and bits of God knows what all came pouring out. I tried to quickly swipe up my rugs and bathroom mats, but it was too late -- they had already been contaminated by that vile substance now all over the bathroom floor.

At a loss as to what to do, another problem quickly reared its head: I still had more in me that needed to immediately come out. With no time to think, I sat back down and let 'er rip. The toilet water had gone down some, so more overflowing wasn't much of an issue.

After I finished I stood up and, without any place to stand, stepped into my bathtub. When I looked over at the toilet, I was actually able to actually see what this batch looked like. To my surprise, there were very strange pieces of an unknown substance floating around in the bowl. I immediately became alarmed. What if this was part of my insides? What if some of my intestinal wall was afloat inside my toilet!?

Very nervous and panicky and still out of breath, I whimpered for my fiancé, asleep in the next room. It was a miracle she heard me. I told her there was a mess in the bathroom, but it was an emergency and I needed her to look at something.

>>724414300
My wonderful wife-to-be is always there for me and would do anything for me. And the fact that she worked at a gastroenterologist's helped; but she would have done this anyway. She opened the door and laughed because there I stood, clinging to my shower curtain, pantsless and still leaking from my rear end. I asked her to please look at what I saw. She did, and reassured me that it was some sort of food, more than likely barbecue eaten about three days before.

Slightly relieved, we conjured up a clean-up plan because, even after all this, we still had to get ready for her Christmas party in this very bathroom. (We have two bathrooms; however, the other one is my roommate's, and since he was home, I wasn't going to go walking through my house naked to get there.) I threw down some towels (the ones I didn't really like anyway) and my fiancé went into the kitchen to get some garbage bags. We cleaned up as best we could because time was running short and both of us needed showers (especially me). I still had urges to continue the evacuation process, but I was forced to hold it in until we reached a point where I could relieve myself in a toilet that could withstand massive amounts of liquid and poo. I let my fiancé shower first (after I cleaned the shower out a bit); I planned to follow while she blow-dried her hair.

>>724414374
We were really coming down to the wire now. It was finally my turn to get cleaned up. I hopped into the shower and turned on the water. Much to my surprise, there was absolutely no hot water. My butt and my legs were covered in fecal matter and I had to wash it all off with freezing cold water. I thought this night couldn't get any worse until I realized I needed to shave as well. So there I was, standing in a waterless shower, dry-shaving and turning on the water only to rinse my razor. I followed my painful (yet refreshing!) shave by throwing water at myself from the faucet and then trying to lather up some soap. It was a very difficult process and I hope to never have to do it again.

We ended up being about fifteen minutes late to the Christmas party, but no one really noticed, which was good because we didn't have to explain to anyone why we were late. Looking back at that night, I often laugh at the events and how they unfolded. That will be a Christmas party I never forget.

>>724414363

looks pretty /k/omfy, komrade. Details? 18 wheeler?

>>724414475
yep, kenworth t680

>>724414176
>>724414231
>>724414300
>>724414374
>>724414425


My fucking sides. Thank you anon, the laughing is helping the poo exit.

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Before someone mentions it yes I do have my monitor on top of two monopoly sets to give it height. Sometimes you gotta be resourceful.

>>724414085
fuck you, faggot.

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Little messy, I suck at the cable management

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http://m.imgur.com/a/mGJcK

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>>724415043

I'm scurred

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playing shit game, give me shit for it

>>724415113
Nice poliwhirl mate, got the same one on my mantle :)

>>724414231
So I raaaan, I ran so far awaay

>>724415265
want to do something similar but read, what headphones are those?

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>>724416250
M50x. Not for shitty dubstep or a fashion accessory like beats, actually functional headphones.

>>724414248
Nice BaoFeng. Ever try a Motorola? You can get an HT1000 for the same price and it's 1000x better. Had to get a mag mount antenna just to hit the local repeater with my BF.

>>724416939
Denfinitely interest in getting a new radio/scanner. I've only recently become interested in the subject and I'd like to take it further. Any tips?

>>724415575
Haha I'm a CS major and I watched a video that said to have something at your desk to talk to when you get "coders block" poor little guy is filled with negative vibes from me just screaming getting frustrated.

>>724417385
lmao same but i just yell internally

>>724416404
m50x are meme tier

>>724417254
Are you using it solely for a scanner, or are you licensed/trying to get licensed to talk? I don't know too much about scanners other than the fact that a lot of public safety systems are changing to digital codecs that require an LID or something similar to get on and require a rig that supports trunking, otherwise you'll just hear bits and pieces.
Where are you located?

>>724417968
I simply just want to monitor local police and emergency signals, nothin else. Southwest California.

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>>724417885
Except no? I don't think I'm an audio engineer, and I didn't buy Sennheiser because I'm not retarded. They're about perfect for what I listen to

>>724418422
m40x are better and cheaper

>>724418320
If that's all you're looking for, you don't have to worry about anything to do with TXing. The only thing I'd say to do is get a better antenna (antennas vary depending on what frequency the police stations are around you) that is tuned for the ECS near you. You can find an antenna length calculator online and do whatever is most practical for you. Full length is better than 5/8, 5/8 is better than 1/2, 1/2 is better than 1/4 but most of the time a 1/4 whip is the only really practical one. The only other suggestion I have, especially if you stick with the rubber duck antenna is to put a rat tail on it. It doesn't cost more than a couple bucks depending on what you use but it functions as a ground plane, "completing" your antenna and really boosting what it can pick up.

>>724418320
Unless the ECS is really outdated it's probably digital/going digital, so the BaoFeng won't do you much better than an app you can download on your phone. You should look into ham radio, though, it's really interesting and rewarding stuff. I've made plenty of friends and contacts on there. You'll find a guy for anything you need and they're usually all really helpful. Best community I've ever been a part of.

Gotta crash for the night, but if you're interested, start Googling and it's a lot easier than people think. If not, just Google about a new antenna and/or the rat tail and that should help with RXing emergency traffic. 73

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>>724418537
You're one of those guys huh? I don't want flat audio. I'm not doing voice monitoring or anything. I like being able to tell a bass guitar exists. Don't tell me m40s are better you absolute Doo Doo head

>>724418940
Denfinitely will look into that. I think a better antenna is just what I need. I've been having trouble picking up certain police frequencies in my area. Much appreciated anon

>>724419617
Fair enough. Last comment on m50 vs m40

m50 = pudding
m40 = butter

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>>724414085
Holy fuck.

>School/college/movie theatre shooter/ 10

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>>724412368

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>>724420169
I can see your penis!

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>>724415266
damn boi thats some noice shit you got there the only thing i have is this old hunting rifle thats has been passed down in my family.couldnt find it but it looks something like this.

>>724414319
by far best one ive seen yet. your good mang

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>>724420169

>>724415265
IPLOGGER THERE'S THE EXTRA "/"

>>724422319
I'm sorry?

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>>724412368
>Digimon World 2
My nigga

>>724422834
Your case looks like aids

>>724423060
Yea I got bored and stickerbombed it.

>>724423240
It looks like aids

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Hello

>>724423240
I think it looks pretty cool

>>724414865
Lol. Hey, no judgement here

>>724423647
I bet you think dubstep is music too

>>724423240
I agree with this anon here
>>724423647
I think it looks good

>>724423931
I'm not the guy you're replying to but I just think it looks nice. I mean, he made it his own and nobody else's, so that's pretty cool.

>>724414363
Nice dude.

>>724413843
kys faggot

>>724415465
fucking osrs my dude
i love that game

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>>724423588
Guts

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>>724424444
Woah

>>724424083
But it looks like aids, you're missing the point. This is the kind is guy that thinks miatas are racecars and not women's post divorce go-to, and thinks CS is a great game

>>724424547
It's what he likes, what is he supposed to do about it?

>>724424444
Hold the fuck up.
/thread
Jesus walked through the door.

Wow the thread just abruptly died.

>>724414319
>razer
>alienware
Could have bought so much more nice stuff instead of paying for a brand name

That said, looks like a fun place.

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Fresh pic just now

>>724425341
It was good while it lasted.

>>724414085
nice.

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not mine

>>724426092
Then why post it? LED mousepads are literally cancer

>>724414363
Theres a gun on your lap

>>724426446
No, I think that's his penis.

>>724426272
Because i wanted to post the pic.

>>724422923
Fuck Yeah