ITT: We work in an office

>looks at two anons in a meeting both wearing red shirts
>"so did you two call each other this morning before you came to work?"
>a lighthearted chuckle washes over the meeting room

>>724357685
sorry im gunna be late. some biker died on the highway. fucking piece of shit gunna make me late.

How come nobody ever restocks the fuckin copy machine

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>I Enter the Office with A Trenchcoat and A Shirt reading 'Natural selection
>I Cock the Shotgun and look around

Where's all this odd sexual tension coming from?

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Does anyone know if this coffee is still fresh?

That Steve weirdo tried to get my number. What a weirdo.

>>724358067

about 10 minutes old, but it's decaf. you and dump it and make a new pot if you want cause i'm done with it

>>724358137
>I Shoot you up

Thinking of ordering some Jimmy Johns for lunch. Anyone want to piggyback on my order?

>I Cock the shotgun and Continue through the Lobby

Just letting you guys know, the coin return in the vending machine is broken, so try to use exact change only.

>I Walk into the cubical room

'EVERYBODY WITH WHITE TIES, STAND UP.'

I thought it might be fun to get an office fantasy baseball league started. if anyone is interested, stop by my cube. It's next to the copy room.

>cuts a line of coke
>snorts
>damn it feels good to be CEO

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Hey can someone watch my drink, I need to use the restroom.

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>>724358756
I got this

Anyone interested in a movie night?
Fridays after work

>>724358308
please yes i'm starving

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>tunes the radio in my cube to conservative talk radio
>plays it just loud enough where neighboring cubes can hear every word

just letting you guys know... corporate is coming down to visit on Thursday. so try to be on time and dress nicely

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DEBRA WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE FUCKING WHOLE WHEAT BREAD. YOU BETTER TAKE THIS NATURE MADE 12 GRAIN SHIT BACK TO COSCO BEFORE I HEAD TO HR AND TELL THEM ABOUT THE TAMPONS I SAW ON THE COUNTER

>is ten minutes late to work
>emails HR to say computer had issues starting up so i clocked in late, can you please adjust? i was here on time. thanks.

i did this last week on my 2nd day on the job :0)

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>>724359846
>YOU BETTER TAKE THIS NATURE MADE 12 GRAIN SHIT BACK

>>724359069
god there's this twat a few cubes away from me who plays like fucking waiting room smooth jazz at her desk, I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT AT ALL, HOW WHY WHAT THE FUK

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We are celebrating Jerry's birthday at 11:30. There will be subs and cake. Try to stop by break room 301 if you have a moment.

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>>724360130

is it comfy instrumental waiting room music like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4x826YIJ90

>>724357792
topkek

Okay guys we ran out of coffee filters so we're gonna have to use Mike's shirt which he was generous enough to lend

>>724360292
no, this would be awesome. it's like elevator muzak. it's so so annoying and horrible. it's shit smooth jazz.

>>724358067
it has some of my fresh semen in it, yes. fresh from a few minutes ago.

>>724358569
head to head or roto?

>>724360552
https://youtu.be/2HRdlaz0_RA

>>724358220
If you don't make another pot right fucking now, or I'm gonna dump it in your ass enema style bro!

>>724360166
no thanks

>>724360669
i was thinkin roto, but i'm flexible. would you guys rather have weekly head to head leagues?

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put a hidden cam in the women's restroom. here's karen from accounting.

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>>724357685
I want to play a game

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>>724360552
if youre na and working an office job please quit 4chan it belongs to thirdies now

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>tries to visit 4chan.org
>"DNS BLOCKED: If you have a work-related reason to visit this website or believe this is a mistake, please contact your IT administrator."

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>>724357685
>Would be great if you all come on Saturday and Sunday.
>We need to finish those reports.

>QT comes into my cube complaining about the creepy guys who work in IT
>offer her a comfy place to air her feelings, knowing she trusts me
>know in my head i will be fucking her within a month even if she doesn't know it yet

Reminder that your mother doesn't work here. If you don't keep the kitchen clean I will report it to HR.

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how do you get into this cubicle?

>break time
"Im going to Burger King. What you guys want?"

>>724364122
>hands you a coupon printed out from 4chan for a free whopper

see if they will take this brah

>>724364069
This is from film? It's because the compositors fucked up or made that on purpose. Whole right side after the first cubicles with people in them are made in 3d/comp. It's either on purpose or just a mistake. Don't know which movie it is though.

>be in cubicle
>rips a cone
no shame

>>724360166
>>724360166

Sure! But who's Jerry?

Not that I really care, will go there anyway

>>724364313
it must be from a film. no one would ever keep a $5 globe in their cube as a decoration.

I work in an office where the ratio of men to women is 70/30.

It's great, and there's only 2 women who are managers. There is constant banter, and fun, while still getting work done.

Some of them are almost my [spoiler]friends.[/spoiler]

>>724365234
Thats cool, now come to break room 301 for Jerry's birthday you cunt

>Bored inside cubicle
>Make a ball of tape and paperclips and throw it at Susan from HR
>She doesn't know it was me

>>724365396
hey, you, i heard you were bored.
you wanna have a cone?

>>724365795
meet me in the 4th floor men's room at 3:40... last stall

>>724366018
oooooor, just step inside my cubicle, ive been doing them in here for years

psst. hey frank. i heard tina in payroll had an abortion.

>>724367138
jim in accounting keeps a bottle of mouthwash in his desk. only it's not mouthwash... it's whiskey.

>>724364918
its a matte painting from Tron (1982)

now fuk off

>>724367657
topkek

>>724367657
>its a matte painting from Tron (1982)


>>724364313
>Whole right side after the first cubicles with people in them are made in 3d/comp

topkek

>>724367606
have you ever seen his wife? I'd stay drunk all the time too.

>>724368557
good point. honestly... i'm amazed he hasn't stuck a revolver in his mouth my this point.

>>724368798
they say she was pretty hot when she was younger but holy fuck you'd never know it to look at her now.
hey, who's that new girl on 3? I saw thompson talking to her yesterday.

>>724369076
i heard the new girl is working under cathy. though i'd like to be under cathy... if you catch my drift.

>>724357685
Yo Chad, isn't it great that we don't have to live with our parents now that we're employed?

Scene is from the original TRON movie.

>>724368230
Top Marks Anon!

E-excuse me but has anyone s-seen my s-stapler

>>724372866
yeah Milton, I'm pretty sure I saw Lumbergh with it.

>>724372866
Yeah it's right here anon
>hands back stapler but its wrapped in a shit-encrusted condom

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>>724357685
Roll for office shooting

>>724372866
Hey Milton how's it going... yeah so uhh.. I'm gonna need you to go ahead and move your desk to the other side of the cubicle so we have some room for these documents so uh... if you could have that done by lunch that would be great, thanks...

>>724357685
Sorry Boss I am late