I don't want to relive it all... but the exciting facts are these.
>Meet girl. 8/10 in general 10/10 to me >meet over facebook, I was a dick and flirted obnoxiously with her. >She messages me saying there must be some misunderstanding >talk for hours that night. >It was christmas eve. >She's bipolar, borderline and DID diagnosed, not special snowflake. >In for one hell of a ride. >2 years later >Get her a job, she's doing great. So proud of her. She's the love of my life and I feel so good being able to help. >within 3 weeks things go to shit. After 2 years of wonderful times, great memories, love, affection, movie nights, inside jokes. it all goes fucking wrong. >She cheats on me with a coworker at the job I got her. >She leaves me on Christmas eve. Like fucking poetry.
I miss her like crazy. I'll never love another woman the way I loved her. There have been girls before her, and a few after the break up. I gave her part of my soul that I don't think I'll ever get back. I put my everything into the relationship. Told her things no one knew about me. NO ONE. Not my family, not my friends. No one.
No matter who I meet, no matter where I go.. someone should post that picture about "A certain scar a man bears"
>>724204704 Bruh, I'd be more pissed than sad. Females in my opinion are literally nigger-tier and have maybe 2 redeemable qualities. Those being reproduction and some of them cook for you (or so I've heard). I feel for you though, man. I haven't personally had to experience what you're going through, but my best friend has and he still isn't over it (hopeful words, i know). However i cant exactly approach him anonymously and tell him to straighten out his shithole of a life, but I can for you. Buck up and find better, good guys win in the end. Or just be a bad guy and fuck hoes until you get HIV and die. Whichever. Just dont stay stuck up on some worthless cuntflap.
>>724205147 Believe me, I was pissed at first. Angrier than I'd ever been in my life. I called her drunk out of my mind with my best friend in the room with me on New Years Eve.
I can't recall the details but I do know that I scared my friend to the point where we didn't talk for almost a month and I threatened to wipe my ex's "Entire fucking defective bloodline off the map" I was livid. You have no idea. But anger has never lasted forever with me. It's like an inferno that can strike up in an instant and it consumes everything so quickly that it just burns up and all I'm left with is bitter ash and lonely sadness.
I was going to hang myself in September, I went down to the local icecream shop, bought the best kind, and went to the nearby forest and hung up some rope. Me being a fucking idiot didn't put it up high enough so I could just stand if I put all my effort there. Cause humans don't wanna die, I lived. Every day when something good or bad happens, I think 'why the fuck am I not dead? I need to be dead'. The worst of it is I met a girl, shes fucking brilliant, but I know I am in a state where she disserves a guy who doesn't want to be dead, she is to good for me, physically and emotionally. I should be dead, but I am not, and it eats away at me every day. Sorry for sharing, never have before, was hoping this would make me feel better but it just feels worse.
>>724205465 A good suggestion to fill the hole in your heart I've heard is to become a gym bro. Apparently there's some real companionship, or at the very least you can let out some emotions by moving heavy things around. Tends to take the stress out. I did it for a while before I got back into Overwatch and porn, now I just take out my emotions by calling people niggers on the internet. Which is a less productive, but a worthwhile and entertaining alternative.
I'm probably going to fail my drug test tomorrow and lose the best job I've ever had. I've been chugging water all day but I can't help but feel like it's not going to do anything. It's 2:30 in the morning and I'm in full-panic mode. I'll most probably kill myself if I lose this job, there's so much riding on me. >Work for my uncle doing tower installation for oil refineries >All his workers quit >My business is riding on you Anon >Fuck I'm only 20 what is this shit >Smoke weed this past weekend because obviously I'm stressed >Find out just yesterday we have a drug test
Should I kill myself tonight? Before I become a disappointment? Or Should I see if I can bamboozle the test?
>>724204704 Similar situation. Got involved with bi polar suicidal bitch. The thing with those types is they can be really fun and exiting when they're up and they will certainly be that way when they're infatuated with you. When that fades they tend to just go chasing after the next high and so it goes. Hard to hold on to one of those and at the end of the day not worth it because not only can you not trust them but their ups and downs and baggage will drag you down as well. I get what you mean though because I tend to be attracted to those types too. It's annoying af and after my last experience (similar to yours...cheated on me and ran off as well) I'm just staying away from women as much as I can.
>>724206311 There's so much man, so fucking much. I'm so tired of trying. I'm still caught up on this chick I broke up with like two fucking years ago. It only adds to the work stress. The only thing keeping me around is the money I make from the job.
Silvia, do you remember then That time of your life When beauty glistened In your laughing and darting eyes, And you, joyful and pensive, climbed over The threshold of your youth?
Ringing through the quiet chamber Resounding all the way around Was your perpetual song. Then when intent at your womanly task You sat – content enough With those hazy thoughts of things to come. It was that scented May, when you Thus passed the day.
I at my trifling studies At times left off my sweaty papers Where the commencement of my first youth And youthful brilliance of my better days I spent On the balconies of my paternal home Lending my ears to the sound of your voice And to your swift-moving hand Across the wearying threads. I gazed at the sky serene The golden byways, and the courtyard-gardens And there the far-off sea and here the hills. No mortal tongue could speak The feelings in my breast.
What lovely dreams, What hopes, what hearts O my Silvia. How they appeared to us This human life – and fate! When I recall to myself how grand those hopes A tenderness takes me Bitter and disconsolate And turns me to deplore my baneful fate. O Nature, O nature, Why do you not then give That which you promised then? Why to such a degree Do you beguile your children?
You, before the grass withered in winter Were locked in the malady which assailed and overcame you, You perished, O tender one, and never glimpsed The very flower of your years. Nor was your heart to soften At the praise now of your raven hair And of your glance, demure, enamoured, Nor with your girlfriends on a festive day Were you to speak of love.
It perished too with me, My sweet hopes of younger years And too, the Fates negated My time of youth. Alas, how – How have you passed away Dear companion of my early days. My tear-soaked hopes Here in this world – and there The joys of love, of work, and of events About which we talked so much together? Is such the destiny of us human beings? For when the truth appeared You, poor abject one, succumbed: and with the hand Of frosty death, to a naked tomb From afar pointed the way.
have to super abbreviate details cuz gf is next to me
>gf is anorexic/suicidal >perfect personality fit for me but ^ really dragging me down >try to help, takes months but finally start making progress last week >still, other problems relating to her family history make regular life a fucking circus >cant deal with this shit >example: get into a fight a few days ago, break up and she drives away and starts cutting herself trying to hero >sometimes i want out of this relationship, but she will hero if i do >other times i'm totally in love >shes going to eating disorder clinic soon so i'm hoping things will change, but idk >white knuckling this shit until then
>>724206852 Ah that's really shitty man. It's really noble to be willing to sacrifice some of your own happiness just to help somebody you love. At the same time it's shitty because it feels like you're trapped. Trust me, I've been there.
You're a good guy. Thank you for sticking with her through the bullshit brother. Things will improve. The light at the end of the tunnel isn't always visible, but it's there.
>>724206852 If she an heros, tell her you want to watch her do it if shes so desperate to. Stream it. She'll pussy out and put things in perspective. If she doesnt then we have a new Toaster Steve to worship for a while.
>>724206144 Most modern drug tests are temp sensitive. Do you know if it's a piss test for sure? Or is it a swab?
I just lost my job the same way. Like, literally today. I've been out if work for nearly two months because some fucker at a concert fell on my knee and busted it up. It's winter, I couldn't work or walk, the weather sucks and I live alone and in my own. I got depressed and started smoking to help. Well, two days ago I went to take my return to work physical and found out the hard way they piss test you when that happens. So now I just got fired, I've got medical bills coming in I can't afford. I've got rent due 3 days ago u can't afford. I'm probably going to have to sell most of my few valuables for another months rent. I'm crushed right now and I've never felt worse.
My point being that there are worse things that can happen then struggling for money and work on your own. Keep your head up and look around for other work. You'll get through it. And you'll be happy you did.
>>724207763 You aren't sick of disappointing them man. You care about them? You care about what they think of you? They just want you to have something they know you'll want: success and peace of mind. You are sick of letting them down, you're sick of letting yourself down. Because if you stand up for what you believe in, the idea of what they think won't matter because you'll already be honest with yourself. But until you stop bullshitting yourself by letting yourself get high when you know it can fuck you over, you're going to keep letting yourself down. And by that fact, and that fact only, you're letting them down too. Take control of your life man. Control requires sacrifice and acceptance and self discipline. Don't give up on yourself. Love yourself and you'll never let anyone down man. Keep your head up.
>>724206144 If it was just this past weekend and you've been downing water, and you're still nervous this late, go jogging and keep sweating and drinking. There shouldn't be much of a trace left in you if any at all unless you've been smoking regularly. Good luck. Your should be fine.
>Two weeks ago >Get invited out to super violent show with friends >Friend of a friend 'J' pays for alcoholic friend and I's tickets >Get on topic of mutual 'S' with J >Turns out they were best friends but J couldn't deal with S getting hooked on crack so they fell out >Tell him about how S completely turned his shit around, is going straight edge, got a really stable decent job and in general is way more optimistic about things now >Five hours ago at work >Alcoholic friend calls me >"Hey you're friends with S right? Have you heard what happened?" >"Yeah what went down?" >"He's dead." >Tuesday >J goes to S's place to patch things up and reconnect after he's heard about him getting on his feet >There's an ambulance and a cop car outside >Doesn't want to fuck with it and heads home >Wednesday goes over to check up >S's grandpa opens the door >"S went to heaven yesterday." >He relapsed and OD'd
He was fucking turning his shit around, and great dude. Apparently J is just trashed right now and is refusing to talk to anyone. The funeral is on Sunday and everyone I know is just in total disbelief, and I just can't wrap my head around the idea of him being gone. No one saw it coming at all, it just came totally out of left field.
Im not in the worst situation, there are other anons here in deeper shit. I just came for some questions.
A few months back I stsrted speaking with a girl, asked for rides, I declined at first. But as time came around, I guess I kind of liked her. No feelings what so ever, but I like her, its a weird position Im in.
Anyways, I asked her if she wanted to hang out, and she would decline or reply saying she was in a different city. Eventually, I stopped. Just this Sunday, I asked if she wanted to hike. She said no of course, so I rolled the dice and asked if she wanted to be my workout buddy or whatever since I wouldn't mind motivation. She agreed, and asked when my Marine Corp shipdate was. Told her my date, she replied, I didn't.
Now, idk why she would decline everything I ask but when I say workout she is like "cool! Lets do it!" I mean, we are goung to meet up to workout, so idk.
Any anons have any advice to approach this? And when to ask her to work out?
>>724209675 Bitch wasn't good enough for you. Prove that to yourself by bettering yourself. Even if it's something small like finishing a novel. Or even better, read a work out magazine front to back and try out some of the shit in it.
>>724199215 heard the song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCi8x4HQDEg it was alrite, i liked the remixes, mostly edm/dubstep https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0oZNWif_jk
then a bunch of niggers and eminem decided to out of tune rap over it and i realized europe is being raped by migrants and that sucks, but america has been raped by niggers and faggots for so long it's beyond the level of fucks i could comprehend. then i realized i felt bad at first, but figured one of you fags would be like "feminist says rape everywhere" so then i realized.../seig heil i can win with anti nigger. then i realized i actually hate niggers on all fronts, musically, in person, and politically. the song really doesn't mean jack shit, it just happened to coincide with my thought on how music is getting fucked, and who to fucking blame.
but i feel good now. i know how to spend my life faggots. im going to do a plus one for the good guys. SO I FEEL GOOD /B/ i know how to spend this one life.
>>724201085 I always thought this. Turns out I found that person. She loves me like I never thought anybody could. She smiles and her eyes sparks everytime she sees me. SHe alwyas beg me to dhare my feeling with her and she's making me understand that I can talk without being worried of scare or get her bored. She wants to spend her whole life by my side, she says everything she has is mine too.
It happens. I've loved like that and been rejected a hundred times before, but I found her. And life is still pretty fucked, but I have her with me.
There is somebody like that for you, somewhere. And it's never too late.
>>724199215 i think this place is finally getting under my skin. i've been browsing since moot posted on SA and i can't even go on any other sites now because
1. If you post something stupid or wrong here you get torn to shreds but it's brutally honest 2. It's ridiculously easy to tell when it's the same person posting or they're being compensated somehow 3. I've seen and felt so many terrible things that im genuinely grateful for my life and am generally nice to people online 4. i'm stuck here forever
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