ITT: Greentext times when you were total fucking Alphas /b/ros.

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Anonymous
2017-03-02 11:34:39 Post No. 724160799
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Anonymous 2017-03-02 11:34:39 Post No. 724160799 [Report]

ITT: Greentext times when you were total fucking Alphas /b/ros. I'll start with one I've shared here before.
>be me
>bang slut, hit and run
>year later (ish) knock on door
>getting sued for birth of baby from said slut
>like 8k plus child support shit
>mfw
>call up one of my bros who is lawyerfag, owes me a favor from when I bailed him out of jail for a dui
>"wat do"
>did you bang? lawyerbro asks
>"yes but she's a slut I wrapped it up"
>dnatest.png
>couple weeks go by, she didn't show up for the test
>"probably cause she knows it isn't yours"-lawyerbro
>more time goes by, she finally concedes
>get letter in mail 2 months later
>"we are 99.999998% sure that anon is notthefather.png (or some shit)
>frame it
>put on wall
>make sure all sluts that come over see it
>?????
>mfw

Anonymous 2017-03-02 11:37:19 Post No.724161049
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Anonymous 2017-03-02 11:37:19 Post No.724161049 [Report]

I fucked a girl once.

Anonymous 2017-03-02 11:38:56 Post No.724161205
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Anonymous 2017-03-02 11:38:56 Post No.724161205 [Report]

>>724160799
how is that alpha? you fucked a girl, didn't knock her up, and had to pay for a lawyer.

Anonymous 2017-03-02 11:39:22 Post No.724161248
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Anonymous 2017-03-02 11:39:22 Post No.724161248 [Report]

>>724160799
Kek'd and checked haha. This is why you wrap it up anons

Anonymous 2017-03-02 11:40:25 Post No.724161341
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Anonymous 2017-03-02 11:40:25 Post No.724161341 [Report]

>>724161205
>call up one of my bros who is lawyerfag, owes me a favor from when I bailed him out of jail for a dui
>"yes but she's a slut I wrapped it up"

Anonymous 2017-03-02 11:48:05 Post No.724162062
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Anonymous 2017-03-02 11:48:05 Post No.724162062 [Report]

>>724160799
Keked. Noice.

>be a senior in college at a house party
>started playing battleshots with cheap cheap whiskey
>group of peeps show up, like 3 guys and 7 chicks, all of which are likely freshman and not even 20
>guys start talking like "yeah lets get DRUNK" "yeah, who's got the natty light!?"
>My buddy Rusty and I start laughing at them and doing whiskey shots with the girls, and the girls join in at laughing at them
>boys, shamed, try to get the girls to leave the party with them
>girls say no
>I follow up with the ladies are going to stay here and do shots with some men, feel free to leave your balls in the drop box on your way out
>boys leave with their heads down
>Rusty and I fucked 4 of the girls that night.