>she dgaf i'm not a virgin >lol tbh we fuck like rabbits after a few months >end of 98 i get a job >she's with me >by my side >kind, loyal, sweet, beautiful >still drives me wild >1998 to 2000, I'm jet-setting all over the country >2000, lose my job >she's still with me >2001 become delivery driver >she's still with me >2002 we go to our first anime convention together >2003 we cosplay at that convention, perform a skit, WIN! >2004 i get a new better job >2008 leave it because boss is an alcoholic crackhead >also start playing in praise band at a church >i play guitar, she plays drums >2010 get a much better it job, but boss is still kind of a dick >2011 >after almost 13 years together, D and i get married >she'd been living with her parents >i'd been living with my sister >now we live together in a shitty apt >2012, we leave the shitty apt and rent a house, and i get an even better job >2014 >we start our own fucking band, lol >she still plays drums, i still play guitar >i lose my job >2015, get a new job, still there, still love it >lose bassist, so, SURPRISE! she plays bass lol >2016, 2017 >we're both older now >we've "adopted" a number of young adult children, one a former band member
cont'd, epilogue pending In conclusion, I hope I demonstrated that I fully understand the absolute feeling of desolation, rejection, worhtlessness, and depression that results from when "the one" turns out to not be. There is no "one" for any of us. There are many "ones" out there we could get together with, and I am STILL a hopeless romantic, and I STILL love my wife very much. We're a little older now, and a little fatter, but I still desire her more than anyone else, and she has always been there for me since 1998. Do not let those early feelings stop you. Do NOT let them discourage you. Get your shit together, work, and do NOT let your relationship status dictate your sense of self worth! Gotta go, about to leave work lol.
>>724052142 Not difficult. Basically be a piece of shit, pretend to care but clearly make sexual advances. Make plans for the future quickly. You have to try a lot, regardless of who you are you just won't be a lot of girls "type". Basically my method is >Take them on one date with no advances >Go on second and smashthepussy.jpeg >Stop replying to them That's all there is to it, and I know I'm a piece of shit, I've got many phone calls crying and suicide threats. That's how it goes, it didn't really start until I got into a really dark place. My value for life went down and so did my value for others. I don't know, but I don't want to stop. Has become my #1 pastime.
>>724052653 >>724052579 You've given me hope anon, might as well give my story now. I haven't lived a fraction of my life yet so it's still very much incomplete but I feel like I owe it to both these threads
Pic related, the pic that Happystorybro said was totally not true
This is literally me. I was with her for 3 years and she left me 8 months ago. I stayed loyal to her and she left me because she didn't love me and didn't want to waste my time. Now she has a boyfriend and she is very happy with him. We still text each other every now and then and it hurts me so much. I hate my life. I can't stop thinking about her and I wish I can stop.
>>724053333 holy quads anon being a kissless virgin with no ambition to love someone has been my life for a while, after i left my home as a teen and still cant go back, it hurts people took pity on me, when i moved up there, in my first year a guy only sat and talked to me 'because the other people at my table said i was doing a good thing for you' i wanted to tell him to fuck off but i just looked down never gonna be normal again?
>>724052935 >Be me, 7 years old and in P3 (British for third grade) >First day of the year, teacher says there are three new kids joining the class >Little kid me is excited by new classmates >One of the new kids is a girl called E, don't give her a second glance at the time
Something to bear in mind is the fact that I was really late when it came to giving a fuck about girls. I didn't have any kind of libido at all until I was like 13 and mostly lived in blissful ignorance of the whole thing
>Anyway, later on in the day E approaches me and asks if I remember her >lolwut >turns out we were close friends back when we were 2-3 years old and lived in England >I moved to Scotland before my long term memory barely had a chance to develop, she'd only moved just now >I'm a shy but good-hearted kid so I try my damn hardest to remember her but sadly no cigar >Apologise and say I don't remember much at all, she seems disappointed >When going home mum asks whether I remember going round to her place all the time >tells me about a bunch of kid shit like running up and down the stairs, having fairy cake food fights etc. >oh shit, memories start flooding back >feel bad but too awkward to say anything so I just leave it
>>724053667 Kick boxer, literally muay thai. You ever want to fight a REAL professional let me know. Not your shitty 20$ a month gym fags. How bad does it feel to know I could fuck you and your wife in the ass?
>>724051846 Hits too close. I broke up with my gf a month ago after she had been cheating on me. She talked about how she could never find a guy better than me. She admired how protective I was over her, how I treated her like the queen she was. But she was extremely bipolar and not taking medication. When the episode started I just became her punching bag and it was exhausting, but as long as it was helping her feel better it made me feel better. Then she starts flirting with other guys. I try to stop it but she says I'm being too nosey, found out she started cheating on me the same week we broke up. She gets with some new fuck boy who only talks to her for sex. She treats me like crap. One night she lets me know that she will never find a guy as caring and amazing as me. Then go's back to treating me like crap.
>>724054042 >Skip to P6 >Can't remember exactly when but at some point E and I go back to being friends >Not as close as my guy friends but we sit at the same table, partner up all the time in PE etc. >I'm a diagnosed borderline sperg who's this weird combination of shy goody-two-shoes and loud goofy class clown >She's even more shy than I am, quiet, seems content to just exist and is always happy to be around me >The first couples start forming in the class, kids start joking that we're totally a couple too >I nonchalantly laugh it off every time >She does too, though also seems to blush and look away whenever its mentioned >Jesus, she looks so adorable when she's flustered >Her cute shy girl thing is so mesmerizing >I have to keep darting my eyes whenever I look at her to avoid losing myself in her crystal blue eyes >Holy fuck, I think I'm starting to get feelings for her
>>724054843 Replying to the picture. Love is an amazing thing. With the right person. It doesn't mean you shouldn't go out and find people to love even if you end up heartbroken, its just a learning experience. But when you find love with the right person it's an amazing thing. Something that I haven't found yet, still trying to recover from a past relationship. It really does hurt when you breakup with someone you loved, but it's recover able. But when it's the right person you won't need to worry about losing them.
>>724054831 im studying IT anon, but the fact is that people used to say i 'have a serious face' for a while which i suppose is true, especially since im alone which makes sense i do computer things; i feel safe only behind a screen (nolifefag?) i walk around the streets of chicago otherwise, blending in and looking around if one person would like me for more than what i do on a daily basis, frankly id be surprised (generally dirty jokes and fucking around with people as more or less gym friends) ive never really asked someone out, i just focused on my work until i realised i feel like im fucked
>>724055611 bad advice anon. worrying about being beta should be left behind in in gradeschool. anyway you saying fuck it don't care is contradictory to worrying about being beta in the first place. Not trying to be a dick, just don't want to lead this anon astray. God speed anon, keep us updated
>>724055015 >We continue being friends and I act as though nothing's changed >The three years between P6-S1 (that's 6th-8th grade for you burgers) were the best years of my life >I had two separate groups of friends that were both tons of fun to hang out with >Loads of fun little kid antics >Loads of fond memories of school events that made me feel so alive >And of course there was E, whose presence always gave me that warm fuzzy feeling >Still never told her how I really felt, was really good at hiding it too >I wasn't sure whether she felt the same way; the way she acted around me suggested she was in the same boat - having a crush but being too scared to pursue it >I noticed every time her actions suggested having a crush on me, yet I still did nothing to validate them >In hindsight that was the single most stupid decision I ever made, and I kept making it every day
One particularly vivid memory to emphasise my point: >Every year in secondary school we have a school ceilidh at the end of Winter term For non-Scottish fags out there, a ceilidh is a huge traditional dance event with kilts, bagpipes, ridiculous fast-paced jigs, basically a ballroom full of Scot stereotypes. Fun as fuck.
>Few weeks of PE before ceilidh are used to practice the different couple and group dances >Our first year doing this, we're all 11-12 year old immature kiddos who laugh/cringe at the idea of holding hands alone >Naturally everyone is super awkward and can't wait for it to end, myself included >Last session before the event, we're all told to choose our partners ourselves >Fuck, this is literally my worst imagined scenario >No confidence in my looks or social skills - let alone opposite-sex social skills - whatsoever >Just sit and hope the teacher doesn't notice I'm doing fuckall >E comes up to me out of nowhere, asks me if I'd like to go with her in that cute shy fashion of hers >Holy balls, is this actually happening?
Hah, I think I genuienly managed to block out the feeling of trust of love in my life.
I had a long distance relationship with some emo girl that I absolutely loved to bits.
Long story short, she kind of "cheated" on me with another guy, where she kissed him on her 18th. I got triggered and didn't talk to her for months. We get back togehter but I can't feel that connection for her again.
Now, I completely called it off on my own terms, haven't talked since early Feb.
I don't mind it. This is actually fine. I'm just worried that down the road it might fuck me since I don't have that feeling of trust or love anymore.
>>724056942 I've always felt that way too anon. I no longer dream. The only thing that has made me feel life's worth living has been opiates. I've been clean for years though. I still feel awful. I don't want to be here. I can't do that to my poor mother. I've fascinated about picking up and overdosing after she's gone before. It makes me feel sick to think that, but i can't help it. I'm sorry
>>724056724 >I can feel the spaghetti leaking, struggle to act natural >All I can say is "sure", somehow manage to sound casually enthusiastic without sperging out >Day comes >Try to find her while everyone forms a circle, end up on the complete other side of the hall with some randomly selected girl who clearly wants to be anywhere else >Never bring this up again
>Feelings continue throughout Secondary school but start to slowly regress until there's barely anything left by S4 >She ends up leaving school at the end of the year while I stay on to graduate in S6 >Too beta and no longer interested, I don't even say goodbye
>Life goes on >Ever since my crush faded I start going through a hormonal phase literally every time a girl starts talking to me >I'll develop a crush after like a day and then a month later it's gone and a new one's taken its place >Discovered porn masturbation at 13, became more uninterested in IRL girls as a result
>On an unrelated note I started noticing a mild depression around S2 (12 years old) that snowballed into something much more serious as time went on >My depressing thoughts slowly became my mind's default state >Mild social anxiety became crippling social anxiety >Start getting really insecure about myself and get physically scared of other people, even my friends >Become more quiet and isolated, less confident and terrified of life after school >Promise myself at age 13 that I'd never live to be 17 >Attempt suicide twice before my 17th birthday and then twice more just last month Things have started to turn around now thanks to regular psychiatric help and antidepressants, but my recovery is still very much in its early stages
>>724056449 yeah i live in the sw burbs and go through downtown if i have the chance i like to see people who are happy sitting on a bench near the lake and just watching it, then crying makes me feel good for a while honestly people dont see past my gazes, they ignore me unless they need help, but of course ill just help someone (outside of school i just tell that purpose to find someone else, im fucking walking cant you see) putting myself at the center of attention is really offputting, not because im nervous of people, i just dont really want to be seen by everyone, everyone judges someone based on their first time seeing them, for me being some fag who does IT and being for the most part silent isnt a big fuckin turn on for most people im not a normalfag, this is why we're on 4chan man i see the world for how shit it is, kids joining gangs in chicago on the outside i wanna be tough, i am tough to them im just a heartbroken man on the inside
>>724057360 coming now, cumming later. Have fun Anon. More fun than me tonight, I will be sitting here the rest of my night until my sleeping pill knocks me out. Took it extra early today because I don't feel like being awake right now.
>>724057635 I'm starting to use drugs too,it keeps me out of my head for a little bit and feels good but im a poorfag so dont even have too much money for that Also yes its a little bit sick to "wait" for my mother to die...i dont know how i have reach this point but im just so tired of everything
>>724053212 What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across theUSAand your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>724057711 >Cut to my last year of school, S6 >17 years old, still a kissless virgin who had long since forgotten what it was like to be in loved >Fondly remember and admire the person I used to be while hating the person I am now >Noone could ever be interested in me, I have literally no appeal whatsoever >Due to my gradual isolation I only have a small group of friends >Let's call them Dan, Jim and Jake
>Dan is by far my closest friend >We've known each other for so long that neither of us remember how we met >He was always the most charismatic, talented and respected out of all of us and thanks to my regression the gap between us was especially wide >Nevertheless our bromance couldn't be matched, he was the only person who I was comfortable sharing feels and deep philosophical shit with
>Jim was the definition of beta autist >Used to be heavily affected by ADHD, thankfully toned down a great deal as times passed >Socially retarded yet always trying to fit in >The most lovable dumbass on the planet >Basically /r9k/ but actually productive >Jake is an all-round cool guy who acts like the Chad of the group >Not really much else to say about him, he's a real jack of all trades >We may be small but we're tight as fuck, even though everyone other than me has another friend group of their own
>Jim is also kissless virgin >Dan has broken up with two gfs now (and is virgin by choice) >Jake is on his second gf, we'll call her Cathy >Noone else in the group knows her at all yet the two of them are constantly making out in front of everyone >It's super uncomfortable to witness but they're happy so good on them >After a few weeks of dating Jake gets Cathy into D&D, which we all started playing about a year earlier >She joins the facebook group chat and becomes tight-knit with the rest of us after only a few days >We game together for a couple months, everyone likes everyone else >Then she becomes the object of my latest "crush phase" >Oh fuck
>>724058243 I know Anon, I know that feel. I'm sorry. Life can be great at times if fleeting, but in my experience it has been mostly awful. If It wasn't for my family and friends, I would get off at the next exit.
>>724060040 >November 2016, drama starts to form between Jake and Cathy >It's a long story that I won't go into but it ends with them breaking up and Jake being super pissed at a mutual friend for trying to get with Cathy while they were still together >Meanwhile I notice her starting to show similar behaviour patterns to myself when I'm at my lowest >She's not going to school as much >She's always acting super distant towards everyone >She's way more quiet than normal >ohshitredflags.pdf >Do nothing at first for the sake of not poking my nose into their private domestic issues >Then she leaves the group chat after a long-winded goodbye message and I decide it's now or never
>Tell her some of my own issues, primarily being scared around people >Assure her that if she's having personal problems I'll always be there to listen to them and I'll never judge I was doing this for two reasons: I wanted to get the group back together and I wanted to help someone who seemed to be going through similar shit to me, and be actually useful for once >We start talking, trading personal stuff back and forth, no need to go into detail >She's incredibly thankful to have someone willing to reach out and we're both glad to have a companion to share our burdens with >We both care about each other deeply, think bromance but with the opposite sex >I let slip that I had a crush on her but make sure to tell her it's probably just a phase >For the next couple months we're as close as can be, and I'm genuinely happy for the first time in years
>My efforts to get Cathy back in the group end in failure when I discover there was a rumour being passed around that we were flirting behind Jake's back >I explain what's going on and the others believe me without hesitation, but they refuse to let bygones be bygones and that's the end of that >Could've gone worse, she's happy to at least have me >My feelings don't go away like normal however >They start to grow stronger instead >My heart's in constant turmoil because of how much I adore her yet can't pursue her for multiple reasons >After I greatly helped her get over her own emotional confusion involving Jake and the mutual friend she's determined to help me get over mine >She tries to think of a way to get my feelings to stop again, but I don't want to keep repeating the cycle >I know what it feels like to love again, I'm not taking that away no matter how much heartache I have to endure >We continue being friends, eventually she learns about me having never been kissed >We make out behind the shrubbery at the corner of the school, it's one of the most magical moments of my life >I could come up with a thousand ways to describe how good the feeling was, especially since I never expected it would ever happen >I've never been happier since before my depression began >And so naturally this is where things started to go downhill
>>724061838 >Oh shit, its the last week of revision before prelims >Can't concentrate on work because of all this passion whirling through my heart like a hurricane >Decide to tell Dan about it to calm myself down Now while the drama was going on Dan was keeping out of it. He'd been in a relationship with a manipulative bitch before and he was convinced Cathy was the same kind of girl. He warned me not to let her take advantage of me but - even with all feelings aside - my policy is to never turn my back on someone who has no malicious intent towards me, so I ignored him. I thought he'd at least be happy I finally had my first kiss, but he was mad instead. >Dan gives me a week to tell Jake about making out with his ex before he tells him instead >I freak out, partly because I know I fucked up but mostly because I don't want to stop Jake's process of moving on, which is exactly what this would do >Me and Dan argue about it all night before he cuts me off completely >I tell Cathy expecting her to facepalm at my pathetic display but she's understanding, and honestly confused by me blaming myself instead of Dan >She tells me not to worry and that this predicament will be over before I know it >We remind each other that we'll always have each other's backs no matter what
>>724052681 sorry anon my touchscreen on my laptop would register it as a click then i would have to go through the daunting task of moving my cursor up to close out that new tab that the new picture opened in because when you click on an image with multiple fingers it opens in a new tab and i'm too lazy to do that right now
>>724053303 I was with a girl for almost 2 and a half years. We had issues like everyone else, but I wanted to work things out and she didn't give a fuck. She left and got a new guy in less than a week. But ya know what, anon? That was the best fucking thing that happened to me. Dude you're fucking free. The next girl you see, tell her she's gorgeous and ask for her number. If she rejects you, she's as bad as your ex, fuck em both. Go to the next girl you see and say the same thing. Anon shit gets rough, but you got this my nigga. Go outsdie, work out, work on something you love and learn to love yourself man. I went from being a complete suicidal wreck after that girl left to the insanely happy person I am today.
>>724054843 I was in love (still am) with a girl... She loved me back... We did literally everything together; I knew she would never betray me. She was so loyal to me and I was so loyal to her. I did everything for her and she did everything for me. We made each-other so happy. One night I was busy at work and she texted me, I didn't read her message, I just texted back "ok". I found out later she went to get a drink (she used to drink a lot but I got her to stop so something had to have been wrong for her to break her promise to me) she was hit by a car and killed... I didn't eat or drink for two days straight. I just sat at home and stared at my phone. I didn't even know two days went by...
>>724062899 >At first I don't know what to do, eventually decide to tell Jake to his face next chance I get >He isn't at school for the whole week though, turns out his whole family had a shite case of the flu >Dan tells Jake to ask me about "something involving Cathy" and I explain the whole story from my perspective over Messenger >Jake's surprisingly cool with it and just tells me not to try anything serious with her since he's still hurt over everything that happened >Fine by me, I had zero hope of being anything more than friends anyway >Everything went better than expected; Dan, Jim, Jake and I are back to being close mates almost immediately
>However, the damage had already been done >That week had freaked me the fuck out and brought my mood back down to zero >Too stressed out to take my prelims or go to school at all during study leave >Attempt suicide twice during that time period, Cathy is worried sick but still supportive >Meanwhile she starts hooking up with Chad as a friends with benefits kinda thing >Keeps telling me about how great he is in the bedroom >I pretend not to be jelly >I jelly >Over the two weeks of study leave she responds to my messages less and less >Her responses start sounding less kind and more frustrated that I couldn't see any reason to live >After the second attempt she blocks me for about a day and then doesn't respond to anything I send afterwards >Must've been overexerting myself too much, she probably got fed up of dealing with my sentimental bullshit >I say probably because she wouldn't tell me why she was mad, upset or whatever no matter how much I pleaded >I sensed the end coming so I finally decided to confess all my feelings in detail, using as much descriptive language as I could to tell her how much I loved her >It was cringy as fuck but I needed to give myself a sense of closure, and the only way to do that was to be completely honest
2000 year: >vampire/human space exploration via ftl drive colonizes many worlds
3000 year: >most of galaxy populated by humanity
5000 year: >earth spontaneously poofs into massive ball of ash while stunned galactic population looks on in horror
5000 year and 1 day: >man: returns to earth as strongest living being, having feasted on blood of numerous aliens >ashball earth: grins in sadistic, vengeful delight and says, "i've been waiting for you, shitlord!" >man: "who or what are you?" >ashball earth: "i am woman hear me roar!" >man: "YOU!" >woman: "That's right! I have waited 5000 years for my revenge! I shall consume every world in this galaxy, stamping out the travesty of cishet dominance!" >man: "Such terms are meaningless now. Humanity has made such great strides. Even vampires are peaceful, feeding on synth blood or the blood of the willing." >woman: "LIES! I believe nothing you right wing shitlords have to say! I spent five millennia leaching my ashen form into this planet and I shall not be denied my revenge!" >man: "then you leave me no choice. I will push you into the sun to stop your evil plans right here and now." >woman: "then I shall turn the sun to ash. You think I can be burned? I was born of fire! AND VENGEANCE!!!"
5000 year, 1 day, and 1 hot minute: >man: pricks thumb with fang. One drop of his blood drifts toward ashball >woman: "there is literally nothing you can do to stop me!" >epic alien vampire blood droplet: enters ash >woman: feels a change beginning. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" >man: "wait for it..." >epic alien vampire blood: begins fusing with ash, restoring the flesh in undead form >woman: becomes literal hamplanet. "This is rape! THIS IS BLOODRAPE!!" >man: begins pushing hamplanet earth towards the sun. >woman: tries to fight back but can't because hamplanet >sun: consumes hamplanet in purifying flame
10000 year: >humanity transcends physical reality, lives happily ever after in other dimensions
>>724063164 Thanks mate, I was wondering if anyone was still lurking
>>724064202 >After four days or so she messages me again "I'm cutting you off. It's what's best for me." "Don't contact me again" >I've been blocked and ignored IRL ever since save for some casual passing words every now and then >After my pathetic beta display I don't blame her, I was way too attached in the end >I had so much to look forward to with her and such an exciting unknown future, and I fucking blew it just by trying to chug one glass of bleach and then sending a billion ignored messages >Yeah, great job anon. No wonder you'll never get a gf
That brings us up to what I'm doing nowadays, next post will be epilogue
No. You're not old enough for an epilogue yet. You have no idea what's around the corner, bro.
Life DOES get better once you're out of school. Especially if you travel at all, go places where nobody knows you, the kind of thing.
You don't know who you'll meet tomorrow, next week, or next year. Face the future with gusto, not fear.
If my story taught you anything, I hope it's the fact that during each one of those relationships, at least the heavy ones, I felt despair and sorrow like nothing I had ever felt, and to a degree that I believed nobody could ever understand!
It was no less intense than what you feel now. I never mentioned my suicide attempts.
The FEELING that you will never love again, never find "the one", never be accepted, yeah, those FEELINGS are real.
>>724064832 Not mine motherfucker 4'3, 22 lbs reporting in. I could drop-kick you before my presence even registered in your lunking, idiot brain. Mark my words you fucking ape, I could wreck you any time, any place.
>>724064644 >When I was blocked I knew I had to focus my mind on something or the heartbreak would be unbearable >I immediately had the idea to write down my feelings of life in general as song lyrics >I'd been interested in songwriting before and Cathy got me to actually start trying a while back, so it seemed like the right thing to do >I'm still compiling my "Anon's Lyrical Scrapbook" today, making a little album just for fun and to turn my pain into something pleasantly bittersweet
There's only five weeks left until Prom. I didn't go last year because adult parties make me extremely nervous and I don't plan on going this year for the same reason. Despite that I'm constantly feeling like time's running out for me to buy my tickets, and it's such a horrible thought. I don't want to stop seeing the people who used to be my friends in Primary, I still love being around them so much. My feelings for Cathy are beginning to weaken now but I still don't want to leave school and never see her again either. For the past few weeks since she blocked me I've been in so much fucking turmoil that I'm literally thinking about it every hour of every day. There's certainly no way I can even begin to revise for my finals with my mind in this state, which is a bad thing because they're right around the corner as well.
However, while mulling this over a few days ago I suddenly remembered all the good times I had with E. E, my first friend and the only girl who may have shown interest in me, the girl who I let myself forget twice.
>>724065323 By epilogue I just meant a description of the present day, I totally believe everything you're saying now :]
>>724065761 Every night I fantasize meeting her again, telling her how I really feel and getting lost in nostalgia with her. I dream of a night of romantic childlike innocence with her after I tell her all about how I felt and she confirms she always felt the same. I want us to lay on the beach and speculate future names for our kids. I want to take her to prom and have a breathtaking last night out at the end of the school year. I want us to introduce each other to our friends, our parents, for her to join my D&D group just like Cathy did via Jake. I want the future that I missed out on by letting her go all those years ago. But I don't know if we'll ever meet again.
I love you Erin, I was a fool to not say it sooner. I miss you so much. Fin
>>724052579 So yeah, now I'm more optimistic than I was yesterday. Even if I don't see her again I have no idea who I could end up meeting in the future. Holding out is tough but it's all I can do. Hopefully it'll be worth it.
Posted this the other day but I'll post again. It all began 3 years ago. When we first met it was unlike anything we experienced. We feel in love quickly and had each others backs for everything. Then a month ago things didn't recover from an argument. She dumped me only to find out she cheated on me a few days prior. I was a wreck, I felt horrible. Then a week later I turned everything around. I'm the healthiest and happiest I've ever been. Now she's regretting her decision and talks about killing herself everyday. She try's to talk to me but I just pass on by. Now she's becoming a drunk with no self worth while I feel like I can do anything. The end.
>>724066608 I'm a pretty decent singer and I'm thinking of taking up piano again (quitting my lessons at grade 3 when I was 11 was the second worst mistake of my life). It probably won't take me anywhere but fuck it, it's fun and satisfying
The first song I ever finished was Monochrome Vision, which I started thanks to Cathy and finished when I was alone again. It's kinda like my own theme song now lol, I imagine it playing wherever I go
>>724066124 This hits too close to home. It's a more common experience than you realize anon. You're still very young and things in your life will change a lot by the time your fully grown up. I thought I would never love again after I got blocked, had the same exact thoughts. I found another girl though, and although at first I didn't think I loved her I let it grow, and now we are incredibly happy together. Don't worry, work hard, and enjoy life.
Don't usually post in these but I'm feeling pretty down so here it goes. Im that stoner in high school. You know the guy, always high on something and always just hanging out chilling. But when I'm not high I've noticed I'm always sad, whether its thinking about how lonley i am, or how i just smoke weed with friends, or what other people are thinking of me. I dont like to take breaks because being sober at school is even worse, between being bummed, not talking to anyone (i dont know what to say, especially to girls), and always thinking what anyone and everyone thinks of me is awful. I can't tell anyone cuz I'd just look even more pathetic than i already feel plus i crave attention but mostly to scared to seek it and its just getting overwhelming. It never used to be like this man.
>>724058551 I love this image, I know it seems completely pointless now for anyone to be even midly excited about new commong tech such as OSs, but I would have loved to be a young adult in the late 80s early 90s and see the rise of tech as we know it, to be completely astonished by having these relatively new machines do things that are now less than trivial, everything tech related is just so easy these days.
>be me >ultimate betafag >bisexual, but too much of a pussy to come out >never had gf, or bf for that matter >unattractive >antisocial >most of my friends are online, and even they ignore me most of the time >everything I do feels like a mistake.
I've been considering suicide for a few months now, but I can never work up the guts to finish myself off. So I guess I'm just doomed to be a mistake for my whole life.
>>724071129 OP here, try doing something you haven't done since you were a little kid. For the past couple weeks I've been cycling out to the beach and just fuckin' playing in the sand dunes after dark, tumbling down them n shit. Never fails to turn a badfeel into a goodfeel
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