What are some of the most creative ways you guys have masturbated?

>>723793831
with my hands

I tried soap once.

It didn't work well.

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>>723793831
I tried to put two sponge in a glass, with a condom inbeetween the sponge. So tight the condom didn't stay in place. Smell weird and wasn't really a gret experience overall.

>>723793831
cut a hole in a pillow and fucked it once. was a terrible idea and had cotton all over my dick.

>>723793831
I once used my sisters vagina because i cant find my fleshlight, it has a hole similar to my fleshlights and my cock fit perfectly in there. Best hands free masturbation of my life.

>>723793879
Been there done that. Shit sucks bro. . .

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>>723794032
you should have used a condom

>>723794139
i was like 11. didnt know what a condom was.

Couch cushions. Ended up getting rug burn.

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>>723794265

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>>723794067
kek

>>723793870
you sick fuck

>>723793831
Seats of my truck on job site at night

>>723793831
Ran out of lube used beef dripping

>>723793831
Custard

Two waterballoons (12inch)

>>723793831
Wrapping my index finger in cling wrap and inserting it in my anus whilst giving myself a prostate massage whilst jacking myself off with my other hand.

>>723794032
Did it become black after?

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>>723794067

Super slow mode - 1 stroke per second or even more - was awesome took about 1hr though

Also with a big jug for juice, it has a separate plastic holder embedded so it supported it somehow and didn't collapse when I cut a hole and put a vacuum cleaner hose to it (opening was perfectly tight so it was good with some lube)

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>>723793831
>be me
>be 6
>find out about them dank birds and bees
>start jerkin'
>develop an almost autistic sex drive
>jerkin' it three or more times a day.
>use everything from pillows to teddies, shower curtains and fucking soap (only once"
>actually start to ejaculate
> M A S T U R B A T I O N O V E R D R I V E.
>Probably jerkin' it like 7 times a day at this point.
>everything is covered in jizz.
>get gf at 14
>start to do the sex
>pretty much force her to go on the pill
>even more raw dog jizz
>start cheating on gf at 15
>so much jizz
>this continues until 17/18
>gf leaves me coz cheating
>lol whatevs
>continue jizzing in everything
>now 22 in a relationship still trying to blast my brains out through my dick, gf supports it though. Thinks it's hot that I treat other women like objects.

>>723794712
Two helium balloons full of water and a condom last Time I did it got rugburn bad, but still kept doing it since

>>723794809
You got a Pic of such a bottle?

Put ramen noodles in a cup, felt great man. Make sure you let it cool first.

Split up with ex
Still had herdirty thongs and pants
>put them in a pan of simmering water let the water evaporate to half a cup put water into bowl mix with lube put in fridge to set fill a bottle store
Use to masterbaite still smells of her pussy

>>723793831
Wrapped a rubber glove around a toilet paper roll and fucked it.

>>723795005
Can provide pic if wanted.

>>723794371
>Filename
Kek

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>>723793985
I tried it to, it just doesn't stay in place...

>>723795244
Dubz

>>723795424
Did this once, pulled out with blood all over dick,

Shit was too tight, ripped all the sides to fuck, and yes I had lube, wouldn't recommend,

>>723793870
/thread

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>>723794809
>>723794929
Holder side is on the down side of your cock for extra stimulation.
Vacuum hole comes under the paper label (will still collapse if it's tight, so need to be a bit bigger also vacuum power on low when first switching it on).

>>723794032
I did this with 2 pillows

>Cut hole in cotton pillow
>Insert phallus
>Imagine a fleshlight but the inside is carpet
>couldnt cum, didnt feel good enough
>try other, fluffy pillow
>felt like I was fucking a cloud
>smooth
>real smooth
>took a while but came
>inside my pillow
>fuck
>take my dick out, looked like it was covered in cotton cady
>fluff fucking EVERYWHERE
>slowly stuff it into pillow
>Pillow now uncomfortable
>try other pillow
>now uncorfortable
>used the same pillows for like 3 years, flipping them every time I turned to stay on the better side

Sorry it took so long, on phone high af

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theoretically i should be able to fuck my own ass
why is it so difficult to penetrate?
i believe it's the angle
tips?
pic very related

>>723795553
try removing the cardboard from two toilet paper rolls, and pull as much toilet paper out as necessary, then do the same glove thing

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>>723795424
I'm not alone ! feel better man...

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>>723793831
by sticking my dick inside pic related

>>723795666
Try to find something else that can fit, it's hard to reach.

egg beater in anal cavity equal good feel

>>723795856
I bought a toilet plunger that fits.

I once fucked three packing plastic airpillows
shit was cash

>>723793879
burns while pissing for days after. Fucked up with this when I was a young teen

>>723795721
No problem

>>723795856
no like my asshole is basically where my middle finger is but behind my cock
i can fit things way bigger than my cock in my ass but cant put my dick in
i don't understand :/
i don't believe it'll be the most amazing feeling once i do it, it just pisses me off that i should be able to but cant get my dick in

>>723795999
then your dick molts and regrows

>>723794923
>helium water balloons
why would you make such a blatant lie

>>723793879
You did it wrong. I laid on my back, soaped up my legs, and pushed my penor in between my legs. Feels good mayn. Still burns tho

>>723796042
I know man, but a dick is just to hard to bend.. :(

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>>723793831
>First start touching my donger at a young age
>Dont even know what to do with it, shit just feels good
>Start rolling it between my hands like a native trying to make a fire with a stick
>Strike a spark
>My loins are on fire
>Eventually bust a nut
>Pure ecstasy
>Did it that way for a long time

>>723796211
exactly how i started too

>>723796125
i feel like it could just be the angle and the hair in the area causes too much friction along with the muscles of my anus rejecting an object entering me
just a possibility
might shave and see how i go

>>723796276
Best of luck

What's masturbation?

>>723796352
idk

>>723796352
Fucking ecstasy

Used a candle after shaping it like a cock with a condom over the top..bliss.

Would love my wife to fuck my ass with a small strap on and then take turns where i fuck her ass. Think she be disgusted if i suggest it though.

>>723795750
more pics or webms boi

>>723796352
Never seen it in my life

>>723796276
I saw a thread on a guy that could fuck his own ass. First off if you want to fuck your own ass you probably need to get used to fucking your ass with a dildo or something, otherwise you're just never going to get it in there. If you're serious about fucking your ass then shave it, the hair is just getting in the way. As for what that guy said in his thread, he said that he would get semi hard and then kind of put his half chubb dick in his ass and then get fully hard from there. He said it was the best orgasm of his life.

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>Put a banana in the microwave
>Cut the tip
>Use the banana as a fleshlight

works good you should try

Buy a new sink plunger, put it on the wall and shove you ass over it. make sure it's a plasic plunger and that you put some lube/soap on there. that how I do it anyways.

>>723796276
Completely different anon here
Same issue here. Not sure why I want to try it, or what to expect, but it pisses me off that I should be able to get it.

I think shaving sounds like a great idea, smooth things up so it might suddenly slip in. Pls post results if you're trying it now.

>Bought bigass teddy bear
>Cut hole

>>723796481
yeah as ive said, i am able to put things much bigger than my cock in my ass and i do own two massive dildos haha
yeah when i pull it downand push, it has blood rush to my cock and keep a slight hard-ness that should be able to penetrate but its stupidly hard
ill get rid of the hair tomorrow

>>723796595
Did you sow in some kind of diy fleshlight, or just a fuck the hole?

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Like this...

>>723796624
Could you share you results tomorrow?

>>723794744
this some times. never used comdom bcoz shit's expensive

>be mw years ago in college...
>roommate and i are highschool buddies, have third bedroom in our apt...
>rent third bedroom out to "friend of friend"
>dudes a bit weird but whatev...
>keeps a hunk of liver in fridge...
>one day we ask "whats with the liver?"
>calmly explains;
>"you see, i microwave the liver for a few seconds to get it warm"
>"then i fold it over, jam it between my box spring and mattress, and fuck it... feels fantastic man..."
>roommate and i just stare...

pool or hot tub jet

>>723797063
How often did he need to buy a new liver? They don't have the best shelf life

>>723794875
fake and gay

>>723797242
we didnt really inquire... the rest of that semester was... awkward... i would imagine fairly frequently...

>>723797373
I would image that after a few livers a fleshlight would be cheaper and less awkward.

>>723795005
smol dicc

Self tanning lotion. Worked out well and went to sleep. Woke up in the morning, tried to take a piss but nothing came out at first. Then the burnt skin sealed breaks and shoots piss in 8 different directions. Also my dick was burnt and peeling all over

Peel a banana (just enough to get the banana out). Microwave for a few seconds, proceed to fuck it. Feels good.

microwaveing a banan peel
best sex of my life

>>723793831
In front of my aunt while she fingered her pussy.

I've seen people fuck couch cushions, but when I tried it it just was awkward and didn't feel amazing or any thing, it just didn't do it for me.

>>723797530
this was 20 years ago - i dont know if they even had fleshlights back then, but this dude was a trip in many other ways... so who knows... he even had a weird name that i wont repeat here because its too easy to dox... (hell i wouldnt be surprised if he lurks the chans...)

crushed up caffeine pills and put it in my fleshlight with lube. It tingles and the calcium that's in the pills gives a nice textures. Didn't do it again because I assume the calcium would tear up the toy. I came so hard though

>>723797957
There's something called proned masturbation where you hump a pillow or something similar that's at a larger height than what you're laying on. A lot of people like it but it can harm your genitals from the weight distribution

>>723797893
Hehe I made that post right before yours. Banana fuckers unite !

>>723798088
Well I didn't lie on my stomach but on my knees trusting the couch...

>>723798195
Do you have a source for more info?

>>723793831
Took the blades out of a blender and stuck my fleshlight in it

>>723797943
I'm hoping to do the same thing this week. She wants me to show her first. I'm gonna use that as leverage to make her show me as well.

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coke and pills and this ditzy slut's face

i fucked mny gf

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I took a huge creamy yet firm shit, caught it in my hands, smeared dick up and jerked off with my shit as lube, ended up sucking shitty fingers before the most awesome cum of my life. also used to take spoonful sized blobs of shit and stick it over the assholes of girls in porno mags, I would fan my nipples with the bottom of the magazine and lick the poo off the picture pretending the girl was shitting in my mouth, fucking best jerk offs ever

>>723793831
holy shit this piece of meat looks like it was cut by a monkey

I fucked many chairs and couches, just take a big plastic baggie full of lube and put it between the cushion and the padded frame and then fuck that chair like it is your job, cum buckets

I used to wrap a slice of pizza around my cock and fuck the living shit out of it

When I was younger I used to fold a rubber glove in half. Then put it against my dick and then get a barbie and rub it against the outside of the glove.

>>723793831

Oh god i dont even know why but.

I was a horny fucking tard, running around fapping and tring to fuck everything soft in my room for like an hour. Needed to take a shit. Reached down, pulled the shit from my ass, shoved my dick into it and squeezed. Used it to fap. Came then sobered up. So much god damn regret.

haven't mastrubated for 4 days . I didnt like lesbian sex before but now anything that has a hole turns me on .
What to do?

>>723797943
In the back seat of the car?

>>723798433

Hahahahaha ah shit thats smart.

Used Ben-Gay one time.
Do
Not
Recommend

>>723799683
but the cum was awesome, shit is so warm and creamy, the perfect lube

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took this at a music festival

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>>723800078
the classic tail pipe fucker

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I have smoking fetish, so I sometimes look up some smoking porn. Then start smoking myself and masturbate with the porn star. I don't do it often because i don't want my apartment to smell like cigarettes. pic related is Abby Cat.

The other weekend my gf visited me at uni after I did an all-nighter for work. That night when I was out of it with exhaustion, I had the uncontrollable urge to eat her ass and I knew she had been at work and not showered that day.

I ate her dirty ass and got off on it so bad. I feel ashamed and I probably wouldn't normally enjoy it but at the time it was hot.

>>723793831
I used a vacuum cleaner once. Just took the hose off, turned it on and then stuck my dick into the hole. Didn't feel anything special really. Wasn't pleasurable at all so after a few thrusts I stopped.
Later that day my dick got all swollen and I couldn't masturbate for a few days because of that.

Man, mine really wasn't creative but looking back it was kinda funny.

I was about 14 and working with my dad on our countryside around the outskirts of town.

At some point during work, I spotted the neighbor's blossoming daughter with her amphora-shaped body, going about her day on their farm and I get instantly horny. Since my dad was making rounds on the fields, I really had no where to go jerk off...

...except for the pig sty.

Man, I jump in there when all the pigs start flocking to me and sniffing me while I push them aside, making my way to the corner that smelled the least of oatmeal and pigshit.
I whip it out and do my best to focus on the neighbor's daugther while the pigs are snorting, grunting and farting around me.

Didn't take me long, though.

>where have you been
>eh just feeding the pigs

>>723793831
Took my mum's knee highs, placed one of them between two pillows and stuck my dick in there.
Felt quite good actually, silky smoothness of the inside of the sock was just what I needed.
Would recommend others to try it out.

This.
Http://anonormale.tumblr.com

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>>723793831
When I was going through my mum's drawer I found this. For whatever reason she has a neat pony tail made out of her own hair.
After a short period of thinking I wrapped it around my dick and just moved it back and forth. Fucking my mum's hair felt amazing especially since I got a hold of her panties too for extra stimulation.
So it was a pretty chill experience overall.
Here's a pic I made back then, don't even remember why it was needed on /int/.

>>723793831
Using my girlfriend's cunt.

>>723793831
Tied a rope around the base of by penis, tied the other end to almost exactly the middle of a fan's blades but not quite spot on so it had same eccentricity.
It was meh, not worth of all the work.

I was wondering , does anyone here have any fetishes that you practice during masturbation?

I cummed into the urn holding my grandmothers ashes

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>>723801552
When I first saw picrelated I got really eager to try that out.
Done that three days ago. Turns out it's not that great.

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>>723801552
I love tying penis and balls up

>>723796574
>microwaving bananas

>>723796352
Something u put into your bank account and it will multiply in the years to come

>>723802067
Just take a rubber band and tie it around you dick? How does it feel?

>>723800612
you have a latent scat fetish, it is ok to explore it. you wont "eat shit and die" fresh poo is harmless, and fun

>>723793879
>mfw I used shampoo as lube once
>Immediate burning and urge to shit
>Wtf why do I have to shit?
>Some of the most painful diarrhea in my life
>Mfw I did it four more times because I'm a massive faggot.

>>723794791
Well at least his sister did.

>>723796574
It's all yours

>>723796352
God grow up. It has to do with fishing bait and how good you are at it

>>723802726
One around the whole junk, one around the dick, one around the ball sack.
Just try it, there is nothing to be afraid of. Well I'm guessing you're not retarded and you won't sit there with a rubber band on your dick for three hours.

>>723801926
What exactly did you do it looks kinda interesting.

>>723793831
I shoved the handle on a paintbrush down my urethra. It hurt a lot but I really liked the pain. First time pissing afterwards burned and had some blood in it.

Then I found out you can buy tools for that and that's the only way I can get off now.

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Made a vagina and big ass out of blankets, belts, rubber gloves, socks, and rubber bands. It was a work of art

>>723802970
Yea thanks, I'll give it a try

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>>723802971
It's a saline infusion.
It looked great on that pic but here, look at mine. Looks nothing like it, huh? Looks ugly, feels nowhere near as enjoyable as I hoped it to be.
If you want details on how to do it anyway just ask.

>>723800832
Kek

>>723803031
Was it worth the effort?

>>723802792
ty for warning, you absolute fag

Guys, you know that hair conditioner works instead of soap, right? I'm not even kidding, it doesn't burn or anything, just get a tiny bit of water on an already dry dick and conditioner works fine, might have to use more depending on how long you go.

>>723803809
Not using baby oil?!?!??!???!!!!!

>have stuffed animal
>cut hole in ass
>insert sandwhich bag
>fill with lotion
Didnt work at all. Left it outside behind the shed. Just recently noticed my mom or dad found it and might think I wanna fuck dogs. That was 10 years ago

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>>723793831
Official SHITPOST Server!
https://discord.me/shitpost

>OFFICIAL
>Over 15k members

>>723793831
itt; pathetic virgins
just go fuck a bitch...

>>723804003
cool story bro,my mom walked in on my sucking my own cock,

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>>723804214
did she finish you off or...

>>723803158
Sure

>>723800969
what the fuck

>>723804260
no, kinda took the wind out of my sail if you know what I mean

>be 13
>got this glass orb thing from some one for some reason i forget
>came with this big cloth bag
>exterior feels like the same material as jewelers gloves
>inside the bag is a slightly smaller silk bag sewn in
>inbetween the 2 bags are beads or something like a beanie baby
>shit is pleasing to the hands as all hell so i basically hand fuck it 24/7 when i'm just sitting around like some sort of stresstoy for ADHD
>suddenly hits my bored brain that i should just fill all this empty time with masturbation
>hands feel boring after a bit
>know rubbing against shit at least feels different even if it doesn't feel better
>reflexively fondle the wonderbag while jacking
>no idea why but that just turned the whole session from bored jacking to actual i NEED this turbo mode
>naive young brain doesn't understand this new feeling and i've been going fullbore long enough for shit to start hurting
>know already babyoil fixes this so i just grab the whole bottle
>suddenly a genius idea hits me
>i could use the bag!
>basically shove everything inside the bag then close the hole using the drawstrings
>go to town
>feels weird but the silk is too smooth
>instantly turn the bag inside out and reset everything
>feels amazing
>can't stop even though i finished in the first 5 seconds
>just keep going
>mashing my shit inside the bag with both hands by the end of it for who knows how long
>look at the clock
>maybe 5 minutes till parents get home
>panic and throw everything into the washing machine and hop in the shower
>in the shower realize theres some blood going down the drain
>jacked it so hard for so long using rough cloth i actually blistered my shaft
>panic
>run out of the shower with a wad of toilet paper being held to my shit
>parents walk in right as i run by the door for the phone
>rushed ER visit and no explanation given to family on why
>cream and lots of bandages being replaced later

>>723793831
Two pieces of salmon stuck in the crevasse of a couch. Then you go to town and feels amazing.

The smell is a little bit of a down side but if you don't over do it you can impress your friends and say you had a girl over last night and that is why it is smelling a little fishy.

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Why don't you check out Snapchat ( z ) .com fap to schools hottest girls pics

>>723804446
>loss of sensation extraordinarily minimal
>blisters shrunk but stayed raised before scarring
>now permanently ribbed for her pleasure
>only downside is i have to tell every chick my story cause "O M GEE is that herpes?!"
>usual awkwardness till in actually stick it in
>they instantly love it
>never sure if they're just being polite or if i actually do have a magic dick
>only found out years later highschool gossip had the girls labeling me as "ribbed rick" and i apparently had a reputation

>>723804511
Impress your friends by telling them you had a woman with a snatch so disgusting it actually stunk your house up

>>723804823
Just means she is a mature and experienced woman

>>723804511
>impress your friends and say you had a girl over last night and that is why it is smelling a little fishy.
My friends are not impressed that I get laid, they all do, so do I it is really pretty normal everywhere except here

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>>723793831

>do pic related
>wrap around my cuscion where i usually sleep
>start to fantasize about my aunt being my sex slave
>start to go back and forward


Best way u can masturbate tbh

>be me
>be a virgin
>always wanted to know what it felt like to get head
>idea.jpg
>I do stretches every day
>I'm already a twig so I didn't need to lose weight
>Finally I can curl up enough where I can touch my tongue to the tip of my penis
>so close
>keep doing stretches
>this goes on for months
>finally I can put the first quarter of my dick in my mouth
>I'm ready
>I put myself up against the wall, ass in the air, head above the ground
>I connect my hard cock with my mouth
>begin sucking
>not enough stimulation so I get on of my hand involved
>ribs digging into organs
>pain growing
>can't stop until I cum
>suck harder and jerk harder
>I can feel myself about to cum
>stretch just a little more, ribs dig into organs too much, cramps set in
>I recoil in pain and I cum all over my chin and my chest
>stomach hurt for a week

>>723793831
Just vegetable oil

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Bored of snapchat? > Snapchat z .com could help you today

>>723802819

CARLOS!

I once took a tenderizer and beat a steak, then fucked it.
OP's pic reminded me reply to this post or your mom will die in her sleep tonight.

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>>723804315
a bottle of 0.9% saline
an IV kit
some antiseptic wipes
a pair of latex gloves

Over the course of an hour I've infused my ball sack with 400 ml of 0.9% saline.
Sticking a needle into my balls wasn't the easiest thing I've done in my life. Also the saline hurts for the first 15 minutes. It's hard to stop the saline from leaking back out again once you've removed the needle.
The bigger it gets the less sensitive it gets. Also for some reason it completely destroys the ability to get hard. Walking with the pants on is a trouble. The novelty of having large testicles wears off extremely quickly - after 20 minutes I completely got used to them.
It looks nothing like the pic >>723801926. His balls just grew bigger while retaining the general shape of a ball sack.
No veins were visible at any point, my ball sack completely lost its shape because instead of enlarging the testicles and other parts it felt more like the saline got stuck between the layers of tissue making the whole sack swollen.
It takes an hour for it to start shrinking again and around 18 hours until it completely gets back to normal. Also the became itchy as fuck in the process - try scratching a droopy water balloon, not the most trivial task.

Overall - wouldn't recommend. Takes too much time and effort to do it, it looks ugly, there are no real advantages but there is a risk of getting an infection.

>>723805281
Why?

>>723793985
>>723795424
Where did you get this idea? Because I've tried the same, but I have discovered this on my own without looking up anywhere. However, glass is too short.

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>>723805412

>literally being a fucking retard

>>723805522
Youtube to be fair i just seached diy fleshlight and found it.

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>>723805615
I just got bored. What do you do for fun?

>>723793831
I removed the handle of a coping saw and attached a flange I make out of a large plastic lolipop stick and used it as a rather large buttplug when I was 12. The flange was so it wouldn't get sucked into my ass.

Around the same time I also used the non-hooked end of a crochet needle as a sound, but could never get it on very far because my dick curves upwards.

I've also made several pocket pussies (sponges in saran wrap, warmed banana peels, etc).

Nowadays I usually fap with a fleece blanket. I've bought an illegal number of butt toys, but sadly medical problems, mostly stemming from drug use, has made them too painful to use.

>>723793831
I made a homemade pocket pussy using a cup, two sponged, latex doctor's glove and some Vaseline. Made the two sponges soaking wet, winged them out and microwaved them for about 10-15 seconds, let them cool off so they're hardly lukewarm (Like the inside of a pussy) and fucked it. Cheap, most people have the shit in their house and it can be used hundreds of times, just change out the glove every time and you'll be fine.

>>723794973
Unappreciated post

I put peanut butter all over my cock and balls and had my dog lick it up. I kept reapplying until I came. I was too distracted to get a towel and I came on my dogs face lol

>>723804945
What

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>>723806282

Ahahah nice memes my /b/ro xDD

>>723806282
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKMJDQBTZv0

>>723795045
please

Used a stream of hot water.

I soaked a baby diaper in warm water so it got all swollen up, then fucked it. Not bad, 6/10 would fuck again.

>>723793831
I like to masturbate using gfs pussy. Almost as good as fleshlight.

>>723794875
fake as fuck

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I used to have a life sized kangaroo stuffed animal. Had a rip in its ass. I fucked the whole feels good man.
>mfw I came and saw that my nut puddle was 90%cotton 10% actual nut

>>723793879
>>723794081
>>723795999
>>723802792
Y'all use the wrong soap

>>723795666
satanic trips
do it satan fuck your own ass i believe in you

>>723802819
Underated post

>>723795424
you can do the same thing but with a towel

works for me

When I first started I was using the pulse setting on the shower head. It would piss off my parents that my showers were so long so I had to quit. The next thing I found was the trunk of a tree. I was climbing it and good feelings happened so I expermented and found a beautiful smooth spot to hump. Doing it naked felt even better, and it was well back in the woods so I didn't need to be carefull. It was all going well for me until my dad's best friend brought his family over for a barbeque. The oldest daughter was a goddess, blonde like her mom and well developed at 15. 12 year old me got that familiar itch so I snuck off into the woods to do business. I was naked and getting right into it when I heard a giggle. It was she, looking astounded and amused. I had the rager of all hardons and she spent a lot of time trying to avoid looking at it and not succeeding. She asked me what I was doing, I stammered out that I was trying to get rid of my hardon. She made me explain how I was going to do it, and as I did she came closer, which made me get harder yet. When she got the basic idea, which I'm pretty sure she figured out at first glance now, she told it was called masturbation and there were easier ways to do it. She grabbed my dick and stroked it, fire ran through my body and I spasmed so hard. My dick ached beautifully and I wanted to pass out. She told me that was an orgasm and something usually came out when that happened. Anyway, She was idly playing with my junk and I made a move to touch her boob, she looks at me and asks, "Do you want to see me naked?". I could only nod affirmatively, so she let me take her clothes off. I got sooooo hard again so she told me to lay down, then she lowered herself down on me and slipped my rock hard cock into her vagina. She rocked up and down and I spasmed again, and again, and again. She was having her own spasms and I got the idea to turn us all over and plunge in from the top. Pretty soon we were porn fucking.

>>723795424
>>723793985
try with:
-big bathroom sponge
-a jar
-medical glove
and put an elastic or bind the glove at the mouth of the jar or bind

>>723796042
>>723796276
>>723796481
>>723796624
>>723796591

So there's more space between my asshole and balls than most men, and I don't have a very large penis. That being said, I've still managed to get the head of my dick in my own ass. I'm just not big enough for any in-out business.

1) Lube. It's more important that the hole is slippery than the dick
2) Use something else to prep the anus muscle for reception
3) Position matters, but everyone is different. I found success with kneeling while others with laying on their back. There's also straddling something with a towel on it (corner of chair, side of tub, etc)
4) know where the fuck your ass is, and how to push into it. Most people that self-fuck do so by pressing just below the head directly to the ass and popping it right in. I couldn't get that to work because it's hard to know exactly where and what direction to push when you're blindly feeling around down there, and requires an agile sphincter. I had to insert tip first and then do the base-to-head pressure game until my hands fatigued.
5) muscle control. There is a fine balance between contracting so your dick doesn't pop out and relaxing so that you can have fun. Channel your inner Bruce Lee butt hole.
6) patience. I attempted it dozens of times over a few years (I assumed I was too small and would only attempt when particularly bored) before I had my own dick up my butt. The first time I popped out immediately, but was already cumming because I got it.

Best of luck, /b/oners.

A hot chicks dirty panties

It took an hour to get tired of it, and another to stop going in fits and spurts as we got horny again. The last little game was her putting my dick in her mouth. She was just sucking on it and I decided to move her head up and down. About a minute later a weird feeling started to come over me, my asshole was quivering and my balls were tingling. I stopped but she wanted to keep going so I grabbed her head and rammed my dick into her throat and god did that feel good. She was still sucking like my dick was a smoothy straw and I was stroking her head up and down like a bicycle pump. My asshole tingled with fire as did my balls and then light bursting from my dick, like a supernova. She was still sucking and something was coming out, it felt like she was dragging my balls out through my peehole, and I was hoping she would. After she finished she grinned and said now stuff is coming out. All these years later she still asks me if I still have stuff coming out, her husband has no idea why we laugh so hard when she says it.

>>723803773
Yes it was definitely worth it

I used to give my wife backrubs in bed and stroke myself in her buttcrack while doing that. She still asks me for backrubs after being divorced from me for 17 years and being remarried. She comes over 10 or 15 times a month and lets me rub my cock in her ass crack while I massage that back. She even "accidentally" shifts the angle so I slip right in to her warm, wet vag. As long as those kinks are getting worked my dick can go wherever I want it to. Funny thing, she never wanted me to fuck her when we were married.

>>723808309
That's exactly what I was thinking. I've never had a problem with using soap for a good yank.

>>723795424
rubber gloves instead of condom; they arent as tight, also you can tape the glass to a chair and actually go through the motions, worked just fine for me

>>723793831
Snoopy powered toothbrush, not particularly creative but it sure was when I was 10.

I chewed mint gum, rolled it into a stick and put it into my uretha, it burned and felt heavenly the moment i came

>>723809527

Since both of you were having sex with children (each other) your technically pedoes and should've be on the sex, offender, register.

>>723812146
Around 12 took my one of my mom's nail polishes, the kind with the brush in the cap, and painted the head of my cock with it. When I was close to cumming, I jammed the entire brush down in, which burned like holy fuck but I finished it off.

I don't recommend it.

>>723809797

>"go fuck yourself!"
>already did! xD

>>723793831
I was eight when I did this. I used those rubber toy spike balls that could be turned inside out to be smooth, and I put soap in it, and fucked it in the bathroom. I was still at the store. I didn't buy it. I left it on the ground filled with soap, and little boy jizz.

>>723793831
Use to use my mom's old breast milk pump on my cock and never really cleaned it. My mom then gives the pump away to a cousin of ours. Supposedly the baby got some disease. Felt good man

>>723793985
octopus have beaks, cant imagine that feeling nice

>>723804260
bring you back to life?

>>723796574
Thanks Lori!

>>723812916
it's unlikely anything you may have had would have lasted more than a few minutes unless there was some serious globbage, and even then once dried out, it would quickly die.

And they would certainly have scrubbed it before use anyway.