Can we get a good ol fashioned thread where one /b/ro posts a

>>723708875
Instead you survive on methane

You have to shit out of your dick.

>>723708995
You shit pure fire.
Ability of super speed

>>723709390
Your skeleton and clothes don't adjust for speed and get damaged accordingly. Show up naked and broken wherever you run

Ability to love unselfishly

>>723710151
Only when loving yourself

Ability to sell my fedora collection and finally leave/b

>>723710240
Your soul stays on /b

>>723710240
Only when your fist is fully inserted into your ass.

Ability to make any person orgasm with a single touch.

you can fly, but only 5 feet above the ground

>>723710545
but they are the same gender as you.

ability to turn invisible whenever I want

>>723710558
Lel are you imposing your own constraint? Only 5 ft above the ground and at walking speed

>>723710646
but there's a 30 second time limit and a half an hour cooldown

>>723710545
but they are the opposite sex of what you are attracted to.

ability to read minds

>>723710730
Didn't read rules all the way, also am retarded

>>723710545
Person should be a blood relative.

>>723710736
But when you do they read yours in turn.

>>723710646
Turning invisible puts you to sleep on the spot

>>723710736
can only read minds of children

Ability to show and feel no emotion

>>723710778
I appreciate your honesty.
>ability to be as honest as this anon but only half as retarded

>>723710925
you must be a politician

ability to be invisible

>>723710925
But equally virgin.

>>723710872
but you experience pain twice as instemse.

ability to bring dead back to life, sentient and able to communicate

>>723710994
Everything on you becomes invisible as well except for your dick.

>>723710994

But you emit loud involuntary noise

>>723710994
You loose your sight when invisible.

Ability to fly

>>723710872
You crave the closeness and warmth of compassion constantly
>ability to stop aging on myself or anyone I so choose

>>723711003
Not gonna lie I'm a little day drunk but that made me chuckle

>>723710994
everything invisible except the small penis that comes with the superpower

>>723711043
Only works on people you've killed, and they remember you killed them

The ability to turn invisible.

>>723711068
reverses the aging process twice as fast as it normally would, until you are a dead sperm

>>723711068
Every time you stop the aging process your close family ages twice as fast

Ability to eat as much as I want without gaining/losing fat weight

>>723711133
Glad you enjoyed it, I to am day drunk, may your day be filled with many more drunken chuckles.

ability to grab women by the pussy

>>723711068
But another person has to voluntarily age at double the speed.

>the ability to create life-like illusions of myself

>>723711315
But your shit forms as glass.

The ability to teleport.

>>723711388
but ur orange

>>723711315
can only eat expired food

>>723711388
But you can never be president.

Every written documents I touch for even just a split second, doesn't wheter a single sheet or a encyclopedia, I internalize it's contents 100% instantenously and here is no limit on how much I can 'memorize' this way - my brain will never reach max capacity ever.

>>723711417
But the place you teleport to is chosen randomly.

>the ability to breathe fire

>>723711068
only works on your blood relatives and only one at a time; by choosing them to not age, you age at double speed; by choosing yourself, your closest blood relative ages at double speed.

>>723711372
Just poured my last beer sadly
>ability to produce more beer

Ability to stop time for 30 minutes

>>723711469
but u can remember it for 1day

>>723711469
But your IQ is 20.

>the ability to control minds of other people

>>723711519
That's too bad anon.

But the beer tastes of anal leakage.

>>723711469
but you can't be within a mile of any sort of print

>>723711567
The time stops for 30 minutes.

>>723710709
You find out that there is a critical flaw where, electromagnetic radiation basically renders you useless.

>>723711489
But you literally breathe fire, to survive

>>723711572
But whatever you make them do you do yourself as well.

>>723711567
you cannot move or think in those 30 minutes

ability to metabolize any liquid into alcohol (and piss it)

>>723711567
it affects you, too.

>>723710646
but only when nobody is there to see it.

>>723711573
Damn, so you can only produce corona?

>>723711658
you get drunk off of one serving
>ability to levitate

ability to have dubs/trips/quads in 4chan at will

>>723711658
But you can never turn the ability off.

>>723711635
>make them jerk me off
>jerk myself off at the same time
not too bad

>>723711709
You can only levitate 1 inch above the ground, and nobody can see you do it

>>723711709
You can only levitate with a fully visible erection.

>>723711709
only while masturbating

>>723711733
But nobody will ever compliment them.

>I see nothing special about this post.

>>723711709
you levitate at 2 kilometers altitude, and when levitation stops you fall to the ground violently

ability to shapeshift

>>723711701
Cheeky.

>>723711745
Kek

>>723711315
But you cannot digest the food and must vomit to prevent your stomach from bursting before your next meal.

The power to shapeshift into any animal.

>>723711851
can only shapeshift into a cum rag

>>723711851
Can only shapeshift into literal unmoving shapes of very large size

>>723711851
Only into various animal excrements.

File: fat shaming.png (467KB, 540x623px) Image search: [Google]

467KB, 540x623px

>>723711851
But you can only shapeshift into human forms. And every time you shapeshift you gain 10 kilos.

>>723711851
>>723711893


ability to read other people's minds

>>723711409
but the illusions are dressed as flamboyantly gay clowns.

>>723711893
but you're only able to shape shift into a female animal, that gets raped by an alpha male each day

>>723711920
Top fucking kek

Ability to cum liquid gold.

>>723711893
Any animal you shape-shift into is being attacked by its natural predator, despite your environment

>>723711989
Wow, they are perfect!

Ability to change to any job at will

>>723712007
It is liquid because it reached its melting temperature.

>>723712007
Takes you 3 years to get to the point of climax, any distraction resets the timer

>>723712063
But your a woman.

>>723712063
But only if you suck the dick of the job's boss.

>>723712007
can only cum molten liquid gold, and always have to cum on your own chest

>>723710859
Not the worst. If you ere trying to hide in plain sight it would work well.

Ability to control inanimate objects

>>723711417
But you age one year every time you do.

Immunity to CBR materials.

>>723708875
i wanted to get that painting as a tattoo

>>723712137
everything you control immediately turns to poopoo

>>723712137
Only after inserting them into your anus.

The ability to rewrite/change any living being's genotype.

Ability to be completely unaffected by any disease or illness

ability to marry any person you'd like

>>723711469
But you age an equivalent amount for how long it would take a person reading at a reasonable pace to finish the book.

>>723712244
Except for erectile dysfunction

>>723712240
can only change it to fit the form of a black person

>>723712261
But they're full sjw

>>723712174
Do it. It's cool I regularly switch it to my phone background. Could make a nice big piece with the right artist

>>723712244
But you still carry them and spread them at double the normal rate.

Man how it would be if you were indestructible? i mean like the planet would explode and you would float in space alive for billions of years how far could you reach and how much could you see or you would crash on another planet

>>723712289
Idk if that technically fits the rules but it was good for another day drunk chuckle so I won't bother complaining

>>723712130
Kek, i see what you did there.

>>723712240
but you always introduce freak mutations unwillingly to your own genotype
>>723712244
but you are a carrier of every illness in existence

>>723712174
But then you stop working out and age and your skin becomes wrinkly and it looks like shit.

The mastery of all painting styles.

>>723712011
>turns into Orca whale
>kills literally everything

ability to survive without eating and drinking

File: 728D351A662013D8ED21D2B398159E00C9A514CBFC2C581E3AD80F05477CF1CE.png (1MB, 750x1334px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 750x1334px

instead you should just Snapchat (z ).com and all your worries will be gone!

>>723712413
Well indestructible doesn't necessarily imply ageless. Also if you were to float out into space you'd go mad so it'doesn't probably suck? Idk bruv

>>723712465
but you must paint them in all-white

>>723712542
Except you get frightened of almost everything.

>>723712544
yeah i was saying like nothing can affect you not even black holes not even time

>>723712542
but you discover your mother's snapchats with your uncle

>>723712414
I feel flattered getting all these chuckles out of you.

>>723712007
But the gold is literally liquid gold, so it causes traumatic burn injuries to the penis that requires serious medical treatment.

The power to induce sleep in others at will.

>>723712536
You now suck dicks to survive instead.

>>723712510
An orca whale at SeaWorld
>boop :^)

>>723712688
but they always dream something so horrible they wake up a couple of minutes later

>>723712631
>>723712678
top kek

>>723712678
Kekd

>>723712705
kek'd
is that OP?

>>723710240
But forever remain a virgin.
I can kill a man with just a though but...

>>723712772
It's the prominent of OP's abilities.

>>723712465
But each subsequent painting disappears from memory and existence whenever you start a new painting.

>>723712811
You violently shit yourself whenever you do.

>>723712772
Unfortunately not. OP is the faggot drunk laughing at everything. I know what cause I am that faggot

>>723712162
what the fuck is CBR?

>>723712811
every time you lose 10% of your brain cells

The ability to know anything you want that will happen in the future

>>723712542
but every other picture is a goatse shot of your own dad.

The power to destroy the computers of spambots.

>>723712939
>cbr
>cuck based reality

>>723713011
But every computer is replaced with a nagging woman repeating the ads to you in person

>>723713011
But every one sends you spiraling even further into depression.

Everybody in the worlds thinks you're the second coming of christ but...

>>723713009
As soon as. You know what it. Is you forget before returning you can tell anyone or even write it down

>>723713011
But all spam is redirected to your physical address when you do.

>>723713101
You're actually retarded.

>>723712811
but it also has a 10% chance of randomly killing your closest loved one instead every time you do.

>>723713101
But they all think you're the second coming of christ... so mudslimes kill you

>>723713101
they are all jews.

>>723713101
everybody just calls you a jew and demands "crucifixion or GTFO"

>>723712939
Chemical, Biological and Nuclear material.

>>723713180
Can't tell if that's the limitation or an insult.

Ability to convince anyone about your point of view

>>723713101
but you're actually not, however the muslims, jews and demons are still coming to kick the shit out of you.

>>723713343
But your only point of view is how gay you are.

File: 1486937030158.jpg (139KB, 814x814px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 814x814px

>Ability to read minds, of other people and myself

With no physical, emotional or mental damage to any and all parties present and whether they where willing or not to said mind reading.

Furthermore, nothing within the vicinity of 999 trillion trillion AU may be changed or altered to have any kind of detrimental effects placed upon it or taken away from.
No changes of any kind will be placed upon any unwilling participants
and any change circumventing these rules that alters the perception of any single thing in a way that is visible or not WILL RESULT IN THE MIND READER OBTAINING GOD POWERS To undo your bullshit


TRY AND GET ROUND THIS YOU FUCKERS
PRO TIP
YOU FUCKING CAN'T
GIVE UP

>>723713343
But only if you eat their shit once a month.

>>723708875
the ability to teleport 2 inches up, can only be used once every 57 hours

>>723713395
kek

>>723713399
but you're still a faggot (and it cannot be changed or altered in any way)

>>723713343
But you believe every conspiratorial theory you hear.

The ability to freeze objects to -1000°C.

>>723713258
limitation

>>723713253
>>723712162
... but you're fragile like the nigger in the Indestructable movie

>>723713395
hue

>>723713399
DOUBLE DUBZ WITNESSED

>>723711043
they can't be people you knew when they were alive

>>723713470
You're retarded. Not a limitation, just a fact.

>>723713533
But it brings your balls to the same temperature.

>>723713533
but you must freeze them with your cum, which works like liquid nitrogen

>>723713399
But you are placed in an alternate dimension where there are no people.

You are able to create perfect males/females (depending on your sexual orientation) from raw biological material.

>>723710855
That makes no sense. If you read their mind and they read your mind then that would cause an infinite loop.

>>723713642
This would actually be awesome.

The ability to never sleep

>>723713707
Exactly anon, exactly.

>>723713746
But you can never sleep.

>>723713746
But you constantly feel like you've drank way to many energy drinks.

>>723713705
but they degrade into human feces in around 1 hour

>>723711057
not that you would see it anyway

File: 1486936943750.jpg (196KB, 432x444px) Image search: [Google]

196KB, 432x444px

>>723713663
OH FUCK YOU

>>723713705
But they will never be able to perceive you nor will you be able to directly interact with them after creation.

>>723709713
jokes on you, i do that anyway

>>723713872
Kek

>>723713844
I GM for a party of 6 nuclear power plant workers m8, there's no scenario you can toss at me that I can't find a shitty loophole for.

You can throw objects at light speed.

The ability to travel back in time and never age until you're back to the present

The power to make your shit smell like a pleasant scent of choice.

File: energy drinks.png (626KB, 884x729px) Image search: [Google]

626KB, 884x729px

>>723713746
This is you.

>>723714051
but c = 2 m/s

>>723714073
Except it's almost entirely liquid and you cannot stop it from just leaking out every time.

>>723714051
But the 2nd law of thermodynamics applies to you, so you'll die of radiation emission.

File: 1487701494259.jpg (23KB, 540x960px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 540x960px

>>723713962
Is this a challenge?

>>723713962
Is it because they have mutant super-human abilities so you are used to doing this shit?

>>723713830
>1 hour
should've said one minute, 1 hour is not a limitation

>>723713746
but your body doesnt ever clean up the waste material like it does during normal sleep so you always feel like you've been awake for a whole week

>>723714065
but you dont remember anything from before you time-traveled

the ability to transmutate any material

>>723714065
But the past is as shitty as the present is.

>>723714148
Nah, it's a fact.
>>723714171
Nah, we're just all going to die of cancer and renal failure from excessive energy drink use.

>>723714257
but they all turn into poop

ability to program perfect code in any computer language

you now have every superhero ability, but...

>>723714257
into shit after you ingest it.

>>723714051
But you also cum at the speed of light.

The ability to slap people without them perceiving it.

>>723714257
into a material of lesser value

>>723714324
but you must work for EA in the DLC department

>>723714324
But your employers want you to use java.

>>723714324
but a finger falls off for each code you perfect

>>723714333
You still have crippling depression.

the ability to fart without making a noise

>>723714361
You perceive it instead

>>723714257
but you have to ingest it orally and it comes out of your butt the same size and shape as standard bricks

>>723714361
but you always shit yourself every time you slap someone

>>723714333
cosmic radiation negates them

>>723714458
But you shit yourself every time.

have the power to make people hallucinate.

>>723714458
But it smells twice as bad and brown liquid shit will visibly run down your legs.

>>723714458
but you piss your pants when you do.

>>723708875
is there any high res version of that pic? i wanna make it my phones wallpaper

you can now master any videogame, including in E-sports' tournaments

>>723714533
But they always hallucinate that you're Hitler.

>>723714579
but your phone's screen cracks

>>723714387
kek

>>723714533
but it's the most terrifying thing they've ever witnessed and it makes them go crazy and you also see it

>>723714588
but you have no hands

>>723714533
But the only hallucination you can induce is watermelons.

The ability to run faster than light.

>>723714588
But you're permanently 300 pounds over weight and cover in full body acne.

>>723714533
But you develop progressively worsening parkinson's disease.

>>723714629
Top fucking kek

ability to persuade everyone with words

File: the_astronaut_by_devin_francisco-d6k0vk4.jpg (470KB, 900x1391px) Image search: [Google]

470KB, 900x1391px

>>723714579

>>723714629
jokes on you its already cracked

>>723714675
But the second law of thermodynamics still applies to you, so you pretty much die instantly if you do.

>>723714718
You stutter.

>>723714675
But your dick doesn't travel at the same speed and gets painfully stretched behind you as you run.

>>723714718
But all you can persuade them to do is kick you in the balls.

>>723714718
but you become mute.

>>723714675
But then.. You can only live in the dark!

>>723714758
thanks brother

>>723714885
Nice one anon

>>723714675
but every time you do, you shit yourself so violently you create a fracture in spacetime called cornholes, which is a portal to another dimension dominated by aggressive intelligent turds

>>723714857
This already happens.

>>723714983
Feelsbadman

>>723714885
but thats nonsense because its not a constraint but a suppresion of the ability

You have the power to make other people happy

>>723715126
but everyone depresses you

>>723715126
I was gona say but you can never be happy, but that's just to real man...

>>723715105
Ou contrare, the written word is still a viable form of persuasion. They just cannot speak.

>>723715126
by sucking their dick

The power to summon all types of drugs in vast quantities

>>723715215
but youre a cop

>>723715208
Lel

>>723715215
But they're all cut with feces

>>723715215
but you must never sell or gift them

>>723715215
But the narcos always show up with a dog a few minutes later.

>>723714718
but only into believing you have a tiny penis

>>723715126
but you become more and more sad every time

>>723715215
but they have no effect on you and you cant sell them

>>723715215
But only when your mom is home.

>>723715215
but youre a drug addict

>>723715215
You're a heavy junkie.

The power to create god-tier mixed tapes.

>>723715466
But they become literal fire and burn away.

you now have all the money in the world

>>723715466
but youre a white man

>>723715525
And there is nothing left to buy

>>723715525
But it's monopoly money.

>>723715466
of justin bieber

>>723715466
everyone is too lazy to listen to them.

The ability to read minds.

>>723715525
It obviously doesn't have any value if you own it all.

>>723715525
Its all in Zimbabwean dollars

>>723715525
but the world turns communist and goes medieval on your ass

>>723715601
Of women.

>>723715601
But every person's mind you read makes them dedicated to killing you.

>>723715601
but you discover everyone thinks about dicks

>>723715685
they both used to be men.

>>723715731
Kek

you can cure cancer

File: wewlaad.png (26KB, 192x191px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 192x191px

>>723711431

Ability to speak with any living organism on earth.

File: 1488056157184.gif (1MB, 200x254px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 200x254px

>>723710151
>>723710202

>>723715779
But only in lab animals

File: 1486936916754.jpg (14KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 480x360px

>>723714322
OH IT'S ON

Okay.

>The ability to speak any language

The user can speak/sign/write/ and communicate in any form in ANY form of language that has been or WILL be spoken/signed or used by any other form of communication including any senses, digital, telepathy, magic and any other forms of communication of civilisation that has/will come in contact with Anyone and anything that has or will exist/exists/existed on earth and in space and other dimensions.

>Ability to read minds, of other people and myself

With no physical, emotional or mental damage to any and all parties present and whether they where willing or not to said mind reading.

Furthermore, nothing within the vicinity of our current universe or any other universes/dimensions/ pocket dimensions or any other form of "place" including being trapped within your own or something else's mind may be changed or altered to have any kind of detrimental effects placed upon it or taken away from.
No changes of any kind will be placed upon any willing or unwilling participants
and any change circumventing these rules that alters the perception of any single thing in a way that is visible or not WILL RESULT IN THE MIND READER OBTAINING GOD POWERS To undo your bullshit

Nothing that exists/will exist/might exist/hasn't existed within our universes/dimensions/etc may be altered or changed or moved in any way and nothing from any other forms of concepts of "place" may enter or leave our own universe
That's it.
I have covered every base I think
Short of going to a lawyer this is as good as I can do
I dare you GM Anon, find a flaw.

It. Can't. Be. Done.
[spoiler] What Game you run Anon, I'm DMing DnD5.e[/spoiler]

>>723715795
But they always just insult your biggest insecurity

>>723715795
But only in languages they don't understand

>>723715795
your only vocabulary is the following words:
"I" "want" "to" "rape" "you"

The power to open wormholes so mankind can travel anywhere in the universe in mere seconds

>>723715825
but you're also a faggot.

>>723715930
the wormholes are hairy.

>>723715930
But traveling through them makes everyone on board terminal.

>>723715930
you cannot use them and the earth is gonna be hit by a huge asteroid

>>723715930
The rest of the universe is boring.

>>723715930
but you always end up back where you started

File: no_mans_sky-3323497.jpg (57KB, 580x636px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 580x636px

you now have the ability to overhype any product you sell

>>723715930
When you travel using the wormhole, you are deconstructed to atoms and then reconstructed on the other side. So you can never be sure if it's still you, or if you die and the person that appears on the other side is just a prefect copy - with your appearance, personality, memories.. exactly the same as you, but it's not you anymore.

>>723716204
Oh shit nigger.

>>723716344
but their favorite friendly past-time is rape

>>723716344
but aliens r gay

>>723716155
but it always ends up being as bad as your pic

>>723716344
they all end up backstabbing you

>>723716661
because you're a faggot

>>723716661
Still the uncle thing

Ability to make 4chan great again.

>>723711519
it's always bud light

>>723716992
But you become a cuck and leave it instead.

>>723716992
but cp is illegal.

>>723716992
but you remain a faggot

>>723714718
But you can never use it more than once on one person.

You can survive underwater for as long as you want

>>723717472
But you're a fish.

File: Invisible-Boy-Mystery-Men-Kel-Mitchell.jpg (61KB, 500x567px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 500x567px

>>723711294
but only when no one is looking

>>723711294
but only to the people you love

Ability to live forever.

>>723710736
You always hear everyone's thoughts around you. Cluttering your mind with constant voices

>>723718222
But you will still age to 100 normally.