Deepest darkest secret

>>723616377
Im gay with a wife and 1 child

>>723616377

I want to start fucking my best female friend but I am married. wat do?

>>723616377
OP's pic is me.

>>723616377
i sell my worn panties and pantyhose on craigslist

>>723616505
do it the regret will be crippling for a week or 2 then you start to forget about it then remember how much you love your wife then it will randomly pop in your head every now and then but then it comes to a point where you deal with it and glad it happen to make you realise how great it is to have your wife.

>>723616505
How about don't. Try if you want, but it'll fuck up you life.

>>723616505
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D-QD_HIfjA

bi-fag here, when I was in college, 18-19ish, I had a secret relationship with a 13-14yo boy

Im 16 M but love talking to older men (30+) on kik

>>723616377
I worry about what others things of me
I deny the fact that i am in fact "fat"

>used to be in really good shape and ripped in HS and College

>>723616868
you mean 18? if you meant 18 gibbe dick pics being as you like doing it so much

>>723616377
i fap at least 4-6 times every day without exception.
really.

>>723616377
Want to try threesome with my gf
No way this will ever happen
Watch mmf and mff porn instead

I went with my family to see my father's cousine. He has really hot gf, so evening, when everyone was outside I sneaked into the bathroom, searched for clothes basket and sniffed her panties, later cummed on them.

>>723616975
18+ is fine but i prefer 30+

>>723616929
HI fatso

>>723617240
GET FUCKED FAGGOT!
GO BE 12 SOMEWHERE ELSE

I like fucking older men

>>723616505
Listen to me. You do not understand how incredibly terrible and severe it is to do that to another human being. That would more than break the heart of your wife. That would possibly devastate them and ruin them for life. Every relationship after yours they would worry they'd get cheated on.

Think about this. You're choosing a casual fucking partner over somebody you're supposed to love deeply with all your heart and soul to the exclusion of everything else. Goddamn man.

If you're willing to throw away your whole marriage and everything you built up together over lasting 5 minutes in bed with this other girl then you shouldn't be with that wife in the first place. She doesn't deserve you. Break up with her and let her find the real man for her in her life. You're holding her back.

Come back to marriage when you've grown up and have a better idea of what kind of relationship you really need to have to marry in the first place. I'm not even saying this to be mean. It's tough love. If you don't you'll just marry again for bad superficial reasons and wind up in this situation all over again.


And no offense but I don't understand how all i've just said isn't immediately common sense to you or anybody else here. I guess that goes to show how important it is to be raised by parents who have high moral standards. You didn't think you were doing anything substantially bad at all by suggesting that. That's what happens when you have lower moral values. You're blind to how bad you're being.

You should change the friends you hang out with because they probably contributed to the worse moral standards you have. Find better friends. Make better moral standards for yourself. Take what i've said as an intervention and a growing experience and take my advice. You'll be happy you did. Take care anon I wish you the best.

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>>723616377
I don't feel like I'm my own identity. Every minute of every day I feel like I'm actually someone trapped in a body controlled by someone else. And we don't agree on moral issues to put it lightly. I haven't even told my psychologist this

>>723617226
i meant you be 18 because otherwise you will be banned

>>723616929
You're beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
Oh no
You're beautiful
In every single way
Yes words can't bring you down
Oh no
So don't you bring me down today

>>723617923
wow.
pontificate much??

I'm on 4chan

>>723618037
i lie to my psychologist in fears what i tell him get me threw in the loony bin

>>723616505

Threesome with your wife. It's the safest and best thing to do. Works for me.

>>723618037
>>723618309
Kinda defeats the purpose of having a psych, doesn't it???

>>723618085
Oh i get you

I want to fuck my coworker's pussy

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i'm so racist

>>723618489
It's not that I don't want to tell him tho. It just simply doesn't happen. Like trying to breathe underwater

>>723618489
Yeah but i fear it will effect my job/future jobs

>>723616377
I love cannabis

>>723616377
I've killed someone, still haunts me.

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I fucked my cousin, we're both dudes

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A man named Justin Clum was shocked to find out one night that his girlfriend had cheated on him. The Maryland couple had drank quite a bit of vodka that night, and when she confessed that she had cheated on him, he went crazy. Justin took his girlfriend and drove to the man’s house she had been unfaithful with. He poured gasoline all over the front porch before setting it afire. He left but came back hours later and took a selfie with the burnt remains of the home behind him.
> i am Justin

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>>723618727
Tell me anon, this murder you committed, Give me the details

>>723618312
For a moment im thinking i showed up to a white knight convention until i see this thanks anon

>>723616699
Are you a man?

>>723618802
Good job Justin

>>723617923
White Knight harder faggot. I'm going to cheat on my wife just because of you now.

>>723618687
>>723618710
You do realize that you have to literally have to
"pose an immediate risk of physical danger to yoursel or others"
in order for your psych to violate your confidentiality.
Right??

>>723617923
Nerd alert

>>723617923
Gay

>>723618037
Sounds like the movie enemy

>>723616377
i pick my nose and eat it

i sale weed to my mom still.....

>>723618766
That sounds hot

I fucked my 13 year old front door neighbor she lost her virginity to me and she blamed falling for her not being able to walk lmfao

>>723619198
Does she ever give you a hj or bj if she too broke?

>>723619138
a whole lot of people do that.
i have never been able to understand it, though.

>>723619401
How old are you?

>>723617923

When/if you get a gf, I am going to seduce her, and fuck her hard right in front of you, while you cry.

>>723619082
You're really not getting the part where I'm not actively trying to withhold information are you?
It's gotten to the point where I don't even know if I'm lying or telling the truth anymore. Could you in any way imagine how it feels to hear words coming out of your mouth and you're not even sure you can trust them yourself?

>>723616377
i shit in the in the bathtub and push it dwn the hole with my fingers

>>723618766
move to canada

this is normal there.

if you can't get to Canada, move to France, it is compulsory there.

OP is faggot , for sure

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>>723619664

i just spilled a fuckton of tea all over my macbook

I sometimes wish i was born black because
black people age better

>>723616377
I like to huff computer duster, started off doing it orally but a friend suggested to do it through my nostrils so i wouldnt have to taste it, took several sinus infections for me to go back to huffing through my mouth again. One time my brother tried to give an intervention to our friend. We looked it up on our phones and realized it didnt sound that bad. Me and my girl and said friend ended up in my brothers car huffing several cans.that girl is now my wife

>>723619811
congratulations.
you just upgraded it.

>>723619567
17

>>723619946
cheers fam

>>723620006
you stupid fucker enjoy your ban fam

>>723619664
I stopped after i made a line leak into my downstairs neigbors apt

>>723619932

get sterilized so you don't have kids. thanks.

have a massive hijabi fetish

am working for islamic studies doctorate

see hijabis constantly and am nearly always hiding erection

>>723617923
is that pasta?

>>723620097
I'll never be banned bitch

>>723619946
kek

>>723620155
Healthy 3 yo, wife is pretty basic tho drank a shit ton of energy drinks during pregnancy and even smoked a cig after one of our fights. Maybe more, who knows. Sometimes i trust her sometimes i dont. Kinda feels like im in an urban cowboy situation

Marine
Afghanistan
Killed a kid during raid
Cried myself to sleep since
I see him daily in the street, hallways, doorways.
He's haunting me every moment of every day
I hear his mother scream
Haven't slept non medicated since

>>723616377
I have some sort of mental illness beyond what I am diagnosed with, that makes me sometimes feel like I want to sleep with other men - but after I masturbate I feel disgusted with myself.

I know it's a mental illness, and I know people must suffer a more severe form of it to become transgender. It's why I hate trannies, they are me, except they don't accept that they have a mental illness, and people just praise them while their suicide rates skyrocket from their mental illness and consequences of self mutilation.

>>723620163
Tuck it under a hijab diaper

>>723620201
give it a minute or 2

>>723616377
i gave my baby brother sleeping pills the next day he didnt wake up the cops reported it as a accident

>>723620386
Have you tried healing mushrooms? Or maybe lsd? Take those worries away my man

>>723620412
Unlikely anything will happen.

>>723616377
i never wash my hands after i use the toilet

>>723620412
Just so you know my dick is still dripping the cum of that 13 year old little white girl

>>723620344

Fuck. You do realize that you are white trash, and shouldn't procreate, right?

>>723620517
You blew it, faggot. You have to keep the shit halfway realistic to be believable.

>>723620517
Not a clue what you're on about, so you're a pedophile also?

>>723620545
My first born is with my first wife

>>723620491
Tried LSD three years after I got out. Didn't go well for me, cried alot, ruined it for the ppl around me. I stay pretty isolated nowadays

>>723620386
Iraq vet here.
Similar experience, bro.
Do not take this >>723620491 advice.
That anon is a retard.

>>723620657
You killed a muslim GG anon

>>723616377
I have been wanting to kidnap, beat and rape a girl that I knew. Sometimes the urges would get so strong that I would need to act it out with a pillow. Like eg: punching and kicking it to let out some steam and anger. And I would like to imagine her crying for help which pleases me. Also I think I might be a sociopath, I've never told anyone about it, not unless I want go to an insane asylum of course.

>>723620626
it was a joke but I did fuck her lol

>>723620657
Well get some dmt and bring weed go find somewhere you think would be nice to space out and just face your demons. Its a solo journey that you yourself must face, pray to your god/savior for forgivness

>>723620386
I don't get it, what's the problem? Are you sad that you only killed one and pretty much wasted your combo multiplier?

>>723616377
i'm a ape, trained to shitpost on 4chan 24/7

>>723620757
Have you tried xtc?

Family wedding in Matamoros in march of 2009. Came back to Dallas, became extremely ill, but did what I normally did since I normally wouldn't get picked up. So, I coughed on all the doorknobs and spat into my hands to run them on the handbars on the staircase to improve herd immunity. Got hospitalized 3 days later. Became patient zero for a community epidemic of swine flu that killed 3 people.

No ragrets. I'd do the same with HIV, tuberculosis and ebola any day.

>>723620778
Afghani's are a wonderful friendly people that don't hesitate putting them selves between you and the few extremists, don't judge the many by the few, what happens to him was horrible and my fault. I get to live with it for ever.

i fingered my little sister when i was 10 i didnt know what i was doing i thought it was game

>>723620988
Easy saying it but dont feel bad? he'd of grew up to be a terrorist with the brainwashing and propaganda agaisnt westerners, Anon you know you have probably saved a life? if not many lives? You're an hero

>>723620993
Was your uncle the referee?

>>723620947
In my younger days I've tried a lot of things.
Acid, xtc, mesc, shrooms, etc., etc..
Enough to know that ANY psychedelic drug is a very bad idea
when it comes to dealing with psychological trauma.

>>723620993
yeah i used to do that shit with my next door neighbor when we were younger we would get naked and just try and have sex

>>723620545
Also i have a breeding fetish

>>723621191
Targets took a family hostage and used them as shields, he would of grown up to be a normal kid with a normal family, he would of gone to work and met a girl and had kid's, they didn't fear or hate us they welcomed us to get the extremists out of their town.
He was wearing a blue Mikey mouse t-shirt green shorts and had a children's book in his hand. He was no terrorist just a little boy

>>723621336
Smoke a few joints you might get paranoid but after a while youll be ok

>>723621239
no i was bathing with her in the tub

>>723621445
How old around? i was thinking 10 - 13

>>723621336
What if it was all in your head then?

>>723621595
About that maybe closer to 10

>>723621191
You're an immature, unworld-wise, inexperienced 'Trump-Washed' retard.
Please do not procreate.

>>723621336
>ANY psychedelic drug is a very bad idea
when it comes to dealing with psychological trauma.
maybe if you have shit drugs

>>723621362
Same. I even drank his piss. He would get me to lick his ass and touch his penis, then he did it back to me. I kinds liked it too. But I'm still straight.

> cousin raped me since i was 5 until i was 12, he is 7 years older.
Now we just hang out and don't talk about it.
Also
>My mom put a knife on my neck once when i was 5
>I am a thief
>I have all my acquaintances passwords
>I masturbate to sissy porn
mfw

>>723618979
kek

>>723621673
Ikr

>>723616377
i masturbate to fur threads

>>723621488
I did not include weed in my list of 'bad ideas'.
Weed is a good thing.

Does anyone ever use those make your penis larger pills?

>>723616929

losing weight is so easy honestly. would much rather be fat than have a back/knee injury

>>723619713
Same kinda thing happens if you throw up in a gas mask, just fyi dont burp in a gas mask

>>723616377
I'm in my late 30s, have a loving wife, two beautiful children I adore, a great job. My anxiety and depression are so severe I want to commit suicide, but I'm afraid of fucking them all up.

>>723621793
>i masturbate to fur threads

most horrifying thing ITT.

Bifag I really want to go balls deep in my best friend, but he's stright. Wat do

>>723620386
Fucking boot here
Have you tried smoking weed? I've read it helps but I don't know anyone personally who's tried it

>>723621336
aren't they literally testing lsd and shrooms on people with mental issues because they seem to help?

I've always thought of hallucogenics as a semi "randomize" button for your brain. You're still you, but a few things shift around

>>723620386
Pussy

>>723616377
i throw events like dinner parties, movie nights, board game night, etc at my house so that i can record my friend's wife or girlfriend when they use my restroom.

amazing fap material.

>>723621657
Not really you dont know me maybe im trying to help? unlike you whos probably the one recommending him drugs. This is the internet i couldnt give less of a fuck what you think. I love in a persona on the internet im not me and it worries me my brains polluted, outside world is fucked literally everything annoys me i have many personalities. One thing is though i know i make no sense i need help. Plus you're no better then me. Slinging insults around like you're fucking alpha when you're not. What the fuck have you done with your life? do you know what its like to be in a war? or are you just a goat fucking muslim?

>>723618724
Amen

>>723622277
checked. do they ever do weird shit

im autistic and love calling people retarded.

>>723621645
It sucks, life isn't fair. There is nothing that can be done to fix it. I know easier said than done. You know what your intentions were. Stop beating yourself up.

>>723622286
>unlike you whos probably the one recommending him drugs
No..., I'm the Iraq vet ITT that was talking to him.
I, therefore, have some idea what I'm talking about.

>>723622124
My social anxiety lead me to a mental hostpital. Few months went by of me lying and taking fluoxetine to be allowed back out. I get urges to kill.

>>723622124
Hook me up with her and then "find out" about the relationship divorce her but leave her the money and house, then go "mountain climbing" and fall off, they wont be able to determine if it was suicide so they will cherish your memory

>>723622160
Cosby him

>>723621362
I was doing that with my sister from the age of 6-8
didn't know what we were doing so it was mostly oral
usually 69ing

>>723622286
>maybe im trying to help?

>the kid was just a mudslime sandnigger.
>you did the world a favor by killing that child.

big help moron.
the guy you're responding to is right.
stfu.

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>>723622523
Ok you killed a child. Did you get a medal at least? Thats what they give monsters like you right?

I just cant fucking stand normies
fucking normies posting all their underage shit and garbage memes
all of them need to get out
all of them need to leave
get the fuck off my board normies reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>723622436
nah but this 95lb chick got mad farts every time she take a piss,
i mean i think she's just taking a piss lol
i see her only wiping her puss

>>723622182
Just as long as you dont turn into an alcoholic during this time, a few beers with a few friends is good.

>>723622277
Like smell things around your place

>>723622776
kys faggot

I fucked my own ass with my mom's vibrater while jacking off

>>723622436
While helping a friend move his girl smoked me out. And so i after i was high and we went back to moving shit i started to realize he was walking like a robot. And everytime we went i to his place after loading the moving truck he wiled his feet in this robotic manner lol i thought damn this going on our 20th trip and he still wipes his feet the same way

>>723616377
can't tell if I'm genuinely good looking and make girls intimidated, or if I'm an ugly shit that girls find repulsive so they avoid me.

If at the right angle with reasonable lighting I find myself pleasant to look at. Otherwise I dislike myself very much. Can't tell if I've some sort of psychological problem or whatever.

Once a girl gets to know me they pretty much wanna hang out with me all the time they see me, I don't know what they see in me tho. I'm very confused about the whole thing and somehow think that I won't get laid or get a gf until I figure this out.

>inb4 send a picture, can't risk it, I know at least 10 autists that would be here at any given time and them knowing too much about me isn't something I want

>>723618766
Pic...related?

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>>723622642
Fucking keked

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im racist & fat hater,
it's hillarious because im mexican

>>723616868
underage b&
>>723616863
faggot

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>>723622776
Jesus, Anon that was too far.

>>723623062
That's funny...,
I fucked your Mom's ass with my vibrator while jacking off.

>>723622797
Ha post vid

>>723621933
No it's not

>>723619664
move to canada

this is normal there.

if you can't get to Canada, move to France, it is compulsory there.

OP is faggot , for sure

>>723623119
Mfw i start acting like a robot

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The only reason I have female friends is because I want to fuck them

>>723622883
nah lol
but this 1 time when i was cutting the video i accidentally skipped to the part where one of my buddy was pissing and i saw him wipe the tip of his dick with a toilet paper after he pissed.
pretty weird

>>723623332
it's really easy you fucking meatball

>>723616717
"be infidel to your wife so you realize how great she is :^)"
What's the point of marriage anyways?

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>>723620788

>>723623239
Cute doogo, yours?

>>723620006
underage b&

>>723623309
Sounds like a sitcom... but on fox

>>723620344
No, feels like a trailer park white trash situation to me.

>>723623147
could be a bit of both, i have the same problem. i am reasonably good looking but i forget to smile because fake smiles suck.

it comes off like resting asshole face.

can't be too butthurt about it since i am, in fact, an asshole

>>723623423
Its pretty normal if you are not cut, gotta keep da pee pee off a da wee wee

>>723620517
Are you black?

>>723617087
damn doesnt it hurt doing it after many times

>>723623418
says every rational male

>>723623552
nope, just a random wofer on a doggo thread on r9k

>>723623631
Have recently watched all of the trailer park boys and yes i agree that im ricky and she is lucy. But the hispanic version where we live in apartments in the wrong side of town ... did i just blow your mind?

>>723623332
it is for me, at least. i drink black coffee every morning, so i end up fasting by accident.

anon the laws of thermodynamics have your back here. if you eat less calories you are guaranteed to lose weight. call me a nerd but when raw numbers can have a meaningful impact on your life, i think that's pretty cool

>>723620545
I agree anon. It's not a black or white or rich or poor thing. It's trashy druggy cunts like this that need to be euthanized.

>>723623901
Ricky is far more intelligent than you or your wife will ever be

>>723620932
Well a least you're not a nigger.

>>723623840
Kys also i fucked your wife when you were separated or whatever you think she was doing with me that one time

I grip my dick too hard when I jack off.
I usually get friction burns that turn into cuts and I keep ripping the scabs off when I pull my dick later on. so each time I play with myself I get a bit off blood on my cock.
the cuts aren't big so there aren't any scars

>>723624025
Actually has a job that make legit money but blows it on dj equipment and computers

I, 18, fucked my sister's bf, 30, (who she has children with) and I think my parents know because I think she might've caught us making out later on and told them

>>723623744
nope.
(well, maybe for the 1st couple of days after i started doing it, but that was years ago.)
the reason i got kinda addicted to it is that the orgasms just get more & more intense every day.
the more i cum..., the harder i cum.

>>723616377
Me and my wife have been married for 6 years and we're both secretly into the swinging/hot wifing life style. However, a few months ago a co-worker of hers found out about our life style and asked to join. We weren't interested in letting him join but some how he was able to obtain very obsence personal photos of us and use it against us. Not wanting to cause drama we reluctantly agreed. So over the course of several months we've been doing threesomes with him and occasionally with his girlfriend when he brings her over. We sort of accepted him into our secret life style but now things are starting to get out of hand. He's been visiting my wife alone behind my back a lot these past few weeks. I don't really have a problem sharing her alone but having my wife tell me that he came over without my knowledge worries me a bit, especially when I walk home and find him unexpectedly in bed with her. My wife has also told me that he's been seeing her at work a lot as well. He comes into her office and pressures her into giving him a quick hand job or blow job at work which really makes her nervous considering it could cost her her job if someone catches them. In addition he's been more demanding of us in making us do things we aren't normally comfortable with such as public sex, BDSM, pissing and a few other things. We're alright having him continue with us but we're just scared of things getting out of control.

>>723616377
I want to murder my neighbors and take over their land.

>>723624257
tl;dr

>>723621445
Jesus man you even remember what he was wearing. You're a good person anon, but you can't let this guilt ruin the rest of your life.

>>723624025
Somewhere out there is a couple of white folks passing out from hard drugs with kids in the back, huffing only lasts a few minutes and now a days we just get a babysitter while we get fuuuuucked up

>>723616830
absolute fuckin banger. legendary song

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>>723616377

I'm pretty sure that I went out and killed someone while sleepwalking thinking that what I was doing wasn't real. When i woke up, my shoes were on, my window was on a crack, and there was an empty shell casing at the foot of my bed. Not sure though, my room is a little messy and I reload brass.

>>723623423
disgusting faggot that doesn't wipe his dick after peeing detected

>>723624458
My good man

>>723621445
he could have grown up to be a faggot so good job.

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>>723624118
I get friction burns too, but... Jesus, dude...

>>723624490
I bet you sit down when you piss

>>723624257
You have to kill him anon, its the only way. Kill him and fuck his dead body

>>723624257
Just pay me to beat the shit out of him, ill pistol whip him and tell him to frig off quit his job and leave you alone

>>723624306
But it doesnt work like that anon

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>>723617923

when me and my gf fuck or she gives me a bj i think of her mom shes only 19 years older then me and it makes me diamonds imagining her swallowing my warm load or the thought of her thinking about me while she rubs herself off

>>723624838
Pics?

>>723624640
wtf no. I pee standing up, but I use paper because I don't want to wet my pants because there are always some after drops.

>>723624949
No unfortunately otherwise id safe them to the ol' wank bank

>>723616505
Do it poooosy

>>723623147
Only one way to find out: Post pics. Also, I can relate to the "right angle" thing. I'd say that I have a pretty nice looking face but I have a terribly ugly nose so that always ruins it for me.

>>723624257
Pics of your wife?

>>723616377
Got into a relationship with a known prostitute while separated from my wife

I lurk /b/ occasionally

they wont take me alive.

>>723625249
Came in her multiple times without a condom, game me all holes willingly even atm, only stopped talking to her after she became really clingly and bringing stuff over to my apt

>>723625352
you sick fuck...

I have been shiting in the shower for 4 years now. Saves money on toilet paper and anus is always clean. Push said poo down the hold with my hands.

>>723625438
Offered an open relationship since she is a hooker and let me fuck her roomate

I recorded my sister getting dried after her bath. downloaded a recorder that can record while locked on my phone and left it to"charge" against the wall. After my fap i instantly deleted it because the guilt. any decent recovery software?

>>723624787
Kek

>>723616505
i feel the same that you /b/ro, so hard, but no marreid just gf

>>723625530
Down to last roll not sure when i get paid again, will have to wash bum in shower soon

>>723616863
Milo? Is that you?

>>723617216
quite reasonable behaviour, no big deal.

>>723616377
Fucked 2 girls that my older brother fucked. One while they were still a fling. But it was his side chick from his baby momma. He was so butthurt that he went and cried to our mom that i was fucking her

>>723618281
Underrated post. I would never tell anyone i post here

>>723625720
m maybe

>>723625416
Sooooooo your gay?

>>723626101
i leave my options open

April fools! Hehehe. Wow... Well, to continue the conversation from earlier. This will probably be very long, since im writing I can organize my thoughts better. Here we go. You will see a part of my mind opened. Like someone opening the hood of an exotic sports car. Never before seen. A secret prototype. A jealous creator. He wants no one to witness what is inside both from wanting his work unseen by others and from the thought of showing someone something they weren't meant to see in the first place. Reluctantly He opens the lid... It's sometimes to much to handle for the unsuspecting car enthusiasts. And they faint from the experience or from a strange revulsion for the mechanical organization. They run away in desperation... Never to return. Thus the creator, dissatisfied with the reaction he has seen, and now left alone. Goes back and closes the lid. Places a cover over the prototype. Turns of the lights. And leaves.

In his mind he sees the share as a mistake. He should have kept the information to himself. For who knows how long. "Are others just not ready?, "Is my creation a failure, a disgust in the scientific community?" He asks himself. No. That cannot possibly be it. He goes back to work on his machine.

Here is something from a while ago. To understand the way I see it.. I feel I need to show you this old conversation.

You ask me if Hermes a literary personification of consciousness and I say no.... he is not something more but something else.

Before I answer you question completely let me give you some useful background information...
Hermes Trismegistus was acknowledged as a great man of wisdom an knowledge in Ancient Greece hence

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>Regularly cum on my room mates dildo when she's gone.

>Took pics of my gf's sister's ass while she was passed out drunk in her nephew's bed.

>Found my 10/10 boss's used shitty toilet paper in the garbage after I cleaned bathrooms. I knew it was hers because I had just emptied the garbage before she went in. Took it home, licked it, masturbated to it.

>Hot 10/10 coworker took a birth control test at work and used a cup to piss in and left it in the garbage. Stole the test and the cup with a few drops of piss still in it. Drank the piss and still have the negative test in my stuff somewhere.

>Hid HD spycam at parties to take video of all the hotties taking a piss. Camera was found one time, but no one knew it was me. I think they blamed the host of the party, but never mentioned it to him.

>Cheated on my gf of about 1 year 21 times. That's right, I fucked 21 other chicks on the side. And out of the 21 girls I fucked, I didn't use a condom on 17 of them.

>If I get the chlamydia, I sneak my gf antibiotics that I order on eBay from Russia (fish antibiotics).

>I secretly record every one of my sexual encounters on my cell phone. Be it from a phone on a shelf or a phone I'm holding while fucking her from behind. I also record her consenting to me wanting to fuck her. I ask her, "Do you want it?" and she goes, "Yes." Just in case she ever tries to file rape charges later.

>I ritually go to hot springs at night to feel up unsuspecting women very very gently and eventually try to fuck them. This has worked 4 times all the way to sex. And maybe 9 other times where they at least groped me back or just sat there and took it.

>I ritually go to night clubs to hip thrust and grind at drunk women in hopes to take them home. At least half the women I've fucked in my life have been drunk chicks from bars. I probably fucked 20-27 drunk women from bars.

More later.

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>>723618037
Pic related

>>723619811
Ive saved macbooks from that kind of liquid damage.
>disassemble
>clean with toothbrush and alcohol
>clean motherboard with ultasonic bath
>???
>profit

>>723625040
it's cause your uncircumcised

>>723626222
>More later
don't bother.

>>723616868
lmao, you newbie xD god i was like you once, mods xD kek

>>723626222
Nice trips, but you should get a new hobby

>>723625914
>quite reasonable behaviour

wat

Maybe if you're like 12.

>>723626366
or..., you could just be thankful for the accident and move on to a real computer.

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>>723620386
Try looking up these guys, see if they're active in your area.

http://arsbellumfoundation.org/

>>723626222
Those are rooky numbers. You gotta pump those numbers up!

>>723625040
you can shake more than once

>>723620006
>b&

>>723625977
The other chick i had no idea he fucked until after the fact, thought it made us cool. But he kinda had feeling for her as well. Crazy because for the longest i had a crush on her i was just already in a relationship with this other chic that i actually got knocked up and was forced to marry. Fun fact is that second girl was at my wedding to my first wife. She gave me a salad bowl kit which she got from where she worked. I still have the salad bowl kit to this day some 9 years later and it is very nice, never used for salad btw. So while separated i invited bro to bring some chicks to drink with us at my place we were going to a halloween party. On the way to said party made out with both chicks and fingered them both. But one of them wanted me to herself so made bro drop me off back at my place with the other chick. We fucked for 14 hours straight. Came multiple times and she sucked me up after everytime to keep me going. Well anyways a few weeks later i fucked the chick my bro fucked and she was prettier but not as fun in the sack

I am the hacker known as 4chan.

I fucked a snail.

>>723620386
Please consider killing yourself.

i have passwords to all my sisters social accounts including icloud

>>723627814
fap fap fap

>>723627689
You wont get away with this you cycle path

>>723627678
Now both chicks from that night are married with kids

>>723627859
i know how wrong am i for doing it?

>>723627920
10/10 would fuck em all again

>>723627933
I'd do it so chill its cool. Post pics?

i regularly look though my sisters facebook in hopes for new nudes.

>>723628044
too pussy to share. sorry

>>723616377
Once fucked a division commanders daughter, gave me atm and all the creampies i could ask for. She had a thing for calling me papi dad and daddy multiple times, was kinda weirded out that i knew her dad as a division commander and that she kept with the daddy calling. Mfw she probably has some dirty daddy desire

>>723628181
no worries i know all about that.

>>723627689
You are literally hitler

>>723616377
>secret
>telling everyone on internet
It's not secret anymore if you tell to everybody you guys are pathetic

>>723627752
Is it your bedtime edgy cunt?

>>723628430
which means he did nothing wrong.

>>723626688
WTF man...

You don't sniff girl's panties? What's wrong with you?

Plus, there's no harm in cumming in them, since they're going to wash them anyway.

Not the guy you're responding to, btw.

ITT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcjpags7JT8

>>723625040
>>723626412
I'm not, and what the fuck does that have to do with anything? Why are you ignoring the fact there are afterdrops you unhygienic faggot?

>>723624367
you should read it

>>723628538
Checkmate isreal

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When I was five I played 'superhero' with my cousin (year younger, same age, both of us are guys) and we would save the day by giving each other blowjobs.

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>>723628552

>>723628733
Oh fuck yeah my friend gave me BJ when i was drunk

>>723628577
my commitment to /b/ is not that deep.

>also..., 22 clicks to get through the fucking captcha.
> fuck you captcha.
>fuck your google.
>fuck you 4chan.

>>723628836
>22 clicks to get through the fucking captcha.
I know, right???
It's getting fucking ridiculous.

>>723626968
they could yes, but for me I can charge 4 times what I would for a laptop repair and the macbook owner is still eternally grateful.

>>723627568
If you it shake more than 2 times, you're playing with it.

>>723628980
exactly my point.
(or one of them, at least.)

>>723618802
Do u still have the pic if u do blur out ur face an identity an post it

>>723629164
Plays with it constantly

>>723628980
Ive spilt 2 pints of water and half a glass of OJ and then that Tea. This fucking mac refuses to drown. Best 1,500 ive ever spent

>>723629226
not when I'm peeing

>>723628069
>new nudes
Share the old ones then

>>723616717
>>723616724
>>723617923
gtfo fucking normies
>>723616505
do it faggot, and post results kek wants it

i want to be a doctor but every one keeps laughing at me and that has made me give up
i cry myself to sleep most of the nights because i know i'm nothing and will be nothing. i think of killing my self but i don't even have balls for that. no one likes me and i have gotten friendzoned 13 times already. i hate my life and everything about me sucks. for an example i have dyslexia and adhd witch makes my studing really hard. i know that no one here cares about this but thank you for reading

>>723620386
Have you tried "toilet cleaner"? Hope that helps bro

I don't seed torrents

>>723617923
Hey, having parents and friends with bad moral values doesn't you'll end up like that. Other than that, i agree with you f a m.

>>723629528
virgin....

Is that guy still here who killed that afghan child for no reason?

>>723629568
Bro, you can do anything you put your mind to, fuck what anyone else says or thinks. If you want to be a doctor, work hard and you will succeed, it takes time but it will all be worth it just to prove everyone wrong. Keep your head up.

I masturbated with a foot long subway

I'm a guy

>>723629856
Eeeeeeevil

>>723629856
spotted the faggot in this thread

>>723630109
thank you
that means a lot to me . that made me tear up. you are a good person

I was 2 months clean of 4chan and i only gave in today

>>723630109
>>723630301
get a room.

>>723630316
What was your favorite so far

>>723630363
my favourite what?

>>723630363
>reply
>non-sequiter
wut.

>>723618724
Amen

>>723624306
are you america?

>>723619138
I do it too.

>>723630622
topkek

>>723630622
no i am poland

>>723625986
>go to night church cause chick I want to fuck asks me to
>looking something up on my phone
>leaning in real close together
>sees 4chan in history
>laughs disconcertingly hard at me
>guys and girls immediately separated
>Finally break away and she already left
I wish I could just stop coming here completely. But I have it as my homepage on my computer and my phone I'm so addicted.

>>723629568
Yeah what the other guy said. Do it! Why are people laughing at you because you want to become succesfull? Those people have no lives and dont want someone to become a decent human being. Feed off their jealously as you make your way to a bright future nice car, wife, children and most important a dog. I know about ADHD but remember SMART people have shorter attention spans and prefer to be isolated once and a while. Make something of yourself anon prove everyone wrong i wish you the best god speed anon.

>>723621445
Shit, dude. I'm truly sorry, I hope you're able to kinda get over it so it doesn't ruin your life

>>723616377

Before I met and married my wife, I had raped her sister. To this day, neither of them know.

I'm pretty convinced I am the reincarnation of Buddha and Jesus, or more like it: I am the chosen prophet for the next millenium.

>>723630746
thank you.

>>723622256
I have mental issues, but I have to say that every experience i've ever had with psychedelics have had a positive impact on me, and that even a bad trip was extremely valuable in retrospect for the lessons to be learned and the person anxieties I must subconsciously confront on a daily basis.

>>723624257
he's a dick lol get that asshole out of your life, mate

>>723630841
Wow cool, what message or advice do you have for the people on earth? How are we doing so far?

>>723630725
no you are person

>>723629568
Don't give up home fam. They almost certainly only give your troubles because they know deep down you could achieve anything you want and they couldn't.

>>723630841
I am fairly certain that you can rule all of those possibilities out.
You are posting on /b/...., pretty much a disqualifier.

>>723618037
Pretty much this for me as well. Feels like there are 2 completely seperate beings, one with a strict moral code, and one that does not abide by them at all.

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I wish I was gay sometimes

I wouldn't to put up with investing in a relationship mentally and financially to see it shattered by a hormonal rage/act of spontaneous immaturity of a cunt 4 years later.

fuck yeah I'm bitter about women but I'll get over it.

yes this is real.
>be me, 12 years old
>share a room w/ 13 year old sister
>no one home
>wankin it
>hear front door open
>super small apartment, so roughly 5 seconds to clean up cum
>take nearest article of clothing and wipe up cum with it
>it's my sisters used underwear
>whateveritwillbewashedanyway.jpg
>throw into used clothes basket and quickly put on underwear and wrap myself in blanket, pretend to be asleep
>fast forward 1 month, sister says something abt having to take birth control pills bc her period is late
>ohfuck.jpg
that's the story of how i impregnated my sister.
this is real and no one knows as of posting this
fml

>>723631034
astonishingly well and ridiculously bad i guess.
however my business is not as much with something as unreal as the abstraction of "humanity", but rather with saving the souls of the actual persons.
so obviously my advice is gas the kikes, enslave the niggers.

>>723631268
>but I'll get over it
no..., you won't.
get used to it.

>>723631227
dunno mate, evertim I'm out in the real world i touch peoples souls and gain new disciples without even trying.

>>723631459
why would she put on some dirty, old used panties?

>>723631459
except that's physically impossible

>>723631459
>yes this is rea
No.
This is biologically and medically impossible.
Try harder next time.

>>723631527
nope
not a MGTOW yet
I still have hope.

>>723631258
OH MY GOD it's like reading something I wrote.

>>723618309
same, i have serious anxiety and depression, might have other problems, only opened up to my therapist a little and now i'm forced to take 50mg anti depression meds and am prescribed xanax. fucking xanax