i want to die funny thread thread

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>>723525447
i kno a real simple cure

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>>723525733
A more preventative solution

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>>723525897

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>>723526307
i am crying
please no more
>>723525897
wtf is that reference

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>>723526814
Exodus

>>723527185
Is that Saul Goodman practicing law?

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>>723525388
creepy pic to start a funny thread.

>>723527783
that is funny to some people.
did you read the post? i couldnt stop laughing
also fuck off with your stupid memes

>>723527225
stare into the abyss long enough and the abyss will stare right back

>>723527225
What am I waiting for

>>723530935
Dying. One second at a fucking time.

Don't just do something, sit there.

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>>723526814

>>723526307
Attention seeker starter pack*

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>>723525388
>funny thread
Sounds like another way of saying YLYL!

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>>723525388
I totally forgot about this OP. Jesus fuck. That was almost me at one point. In college, except the two gay professors didn't want me to take hormones. I took the deal too but eventually just managed to get enough self control to bail in the middle of the night. Holy fuck. Flashbacks.

>>723533019
what?
please tell the store of what happened

>>723533127
I can green text it but I've never really texted it out before and I'm on mobile. You seriously interested?

>>723533264
No

>>723533264

Im lurking

>>723529745
Heheh

>>723525388
That ass looks so soft and suckable. God damn. I think about it every time I see this picture.

>>723525388
Then wat?

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>>723533850
nigga do i know?

>>723533489
OK, well I won't green text it because it'll take too long on mobile. So it'll be a normal post if that's cool.

So this would have been about 5 years ago when I was 19. I went to college like four hours away from where I grew up specifically to be away from everyone I knew. I was/am gay but wasn't out and had only a few vague experiments. First time I had sucked a dick was that year. There was a super hot professor of mine who was very obviously gay, who was married to another teacher at the school.

Eventually I came up to the teacher because I finally admitted that I was gay and I asked him for advice on how to come out. We started talking a lot, almost every day in fact. Then within the course of a few weeks it escalated into emails, then texting, then meeting up. I sucked him off in his office more than a few times and he bent me over the desk too. I was a petite little femboy (unfortunately not anymore, testtosterone kicked in hard and now I'm full otter mode). I used to post nudes here during that time. Eventually this progressed to a threesome with him and his husband and we worked out an arrangement.

>Cont

>>723534020
holy shit more

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Just wanted to cheer you up, mate.

>>723534280
The world needs more of this and you

>>723534020
This lasted through the whole of the last half of my college year. Eventually I realized that I wasn't going to have enough money to continue school if I went home (I was paying my way through and there were only shit jobs back home). I didn't have any true friends at school so I couldn't stay with them. The teachers offered me a deal where I could stay with them free. Food board and whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. The catch was I was the house slave. I would cook clean and fuck on command. I had to wear a leather collar at all times, even in public. I wasn't to wear anything but skimpy clothes and typical Twink apparel in the house or out. They would fuck me inside and outside the house at will. Once they had me suck them both off at a movie (fairly empty theater at the time).

This went on for a few months, and I realized I had so much fun being a fuck slave that I had lost my own self (if that makes sense). I also realized that I wasn't finding a job because of it.

The first teacher I had fucked with had fallen in love with me, and was considering splitting with his husband to have me to himself. I was already becoming disconcerted about the situation, and that was the final straw.

The last night I was there they double teamed me again like normal, came all over me, and teacher 1 fucked my throat while teacher 2 jacked off. Came on me again. In the shower after I grew a fucking backbone and while they slept I slowly and quietly packed my stuff into my tiny car, left what I couldn't fit, and left an envelope with fifty dollars (the last of my money) as a way of "thanks for the house" and left. I never said anything to them ever again and I don't even know what happened between them.

They had paid to give me my first tattoo, and every time I see it I remember that summer.

End.

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>>723534949
Pic related by the way. My first tattoo was boba fett

>>723534949
well shit dude thats not a great situation but I hope your living a better life now

>>723534949
>>723535205
holy fuck thats hot as fuck.
but also fucked up.

>>723535295
I have a lot better life now. Came out, parents came around to me again, have a loving boyfriend (it's his birthday today!). We have a great apartment and a cat.

>>723535409
Haha yeah that's kinda my thoughts too.

>>723535205

my condolences on your terrible tattoo

>>723535747
Yeah thanks lol. I know the feel. Looked a lot better when I had it done but hey it's a ylyl thread so why not post it. I'm considering getting it either touched up or done over (I've done nothing to it in five years).

>>723535493
thats really lovely.
i wish my life would fix its self and be like yours.

>>723534949

Idk how you did the whole dressing like a little faggot twink in public thing

Like god, in the house sure, whatever, at least there nobody would know you're some degenerate little rent boy. But in public, that would kind of fucking destroy your reputation, wouldn't it?

Unless you went to college in like San Francisco or something I guess.

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>>723534949

>tl;dr anon paid two faggots fifty bucks to fuck him for half a year

>>723536581

kek

>>723526307
>going on reddit
>going on me_irl and not meirl
Fuck off with that shit, she left you because you're a communist shill.

>>723536271
It didn't fix itself. It was a lot of pain. Lot of tears and fights and heartbreak. I lost a fiance between now and then. I've attorneys suicide three times. Still deal with it. Was raped as a kid so all kinds of fucked up.

I'm far from perfect. It worked out because I put in the work. Got my issues worked out as much as I could, stood up for myself. Got the help I needed and patched things up with my extremely conservative Christian parents (dad's a minister, my coming out was.... Interesting). I still have my share of issues but the thing is constant improvement and taking care of myself.

Things don't just "work out" anon. But there's always a way out of the hole.

>>723536456
It was in the Midwest, I didn't have a reputation. I was in a city ten times bigger than where I grew up and I knew no one there. Didn't have a job, was a fuck slave. I didn't care who knew it because I didn't have any friends. The two teachers were my only "friends".

>>723536581
>Kek

Pretty much. Though if I tallied up all the money they spent on me I would have to guess it'd be around 3 grand. I still have the collar, got rid of most of the clothes though.

>>723536822
>i wish my life would fix its self and be like yours.
lol i wish my life would fix itself and become like yours. not that your better life didn't take any work.
i know it takes a lot of work it just feels so hopeless and feels like no matter how hard i work to improve nothing gets better.

>>723537019
I know the feel anon. Keep at it though. A lot of my life has felt hopeless. But it's only a feel. Feels =/= reals. The fact that you're working on it means youre making progress.

>>723525970
But man what a hilarious photo to show your future stoner friends over a bowl

>>723537210
thanks. buddy.

>>723536822
No offence to you or anything, but why is it that the most fucked up people sexually (and they tend to fall Into the gay/les/Trans catalog as well) are always raped/molested as children?

>>723537407
No need to thank me. Honestly I feel like I'm no help at all. I'm just some rando on the interslice. I hope though that life perks up for you. It's not sunshine and roses for me that frequently either.

I don't know what you're going through anon but it will get better. You just gotta hang in there.

>>723526238
Mac DeMarco?

>>723537757
Oh dude I was a huge flamer long before I was molested. I was missing boys in the tube slide up until the day I got raped. My crippling depression and anxiety and lack of self worth were the results of me getting played like a kiddie fiddle. Gayness was already my thing.

That being said I do see that trend sometimes, not sure how to answer your question for other people's experiences though.

>>723538255
Kissing not missing.

>>723526159
Why do all the crabs keep following the first one?

>>723535205
...why, thats stupid as fuck.

>>723538530
You're not wrong. Huge Star wars geek here and he was always my favorite character even in expanded series. Was super high/drunk all the time due to being a glorified fleshlight so it seemed like a good idea at the time.

>>723538739
I can't stop jacking off.
>Was super high/drunk all the time due to being a glorified fleshlight
That's actually the hottest thing I have ever heard.

>>723538528

I was wondering the same thing, how many crabs need to be killed by this thing before the carnage ends?

>>723538255
It contradicts the trend, which works for me.
Also
>missing boys in the tube slide up
I am unfamiliar with this new age lingo, fellow anon

>>723538528
Kekd hard. Good shit

>>723538530

I could definitely think of a worse tattoo

>>723534010
percival pringle/paul bearer. rip

>>723539276
Well I meant kissing not missing. But I meant it literally. I would put my shoes down in the tube slide and make out with the older boys who were curious about girls from like age 5-11. If anything, getting raped made me less flamey and more like an average straight guy, because after that point I became more introverted and nerdy and focused on staying in the closet.

>>723539155
Not sure why that's so hot but hey, I don't mind being fap fuel. Blow a big one!

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>>723539326
>>723539791

>>723539976
Kek. Nice. Seriously I don't mind the abuse over the tattoo. It's got a certain charm to me but I fully acknowledge that it's not "good".

>>723540114
did you think the teachers were just using you? or did the one actually care a little bit? did you have stockholm syndrome?

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>>723536818
nice meme
as an actual communist, I assure you your conspiracy theories aren't true, as much as I wish they were
our movements are gaining strength but we're not even close to being a threat to capitalism yet

>>723540278
I loved him. I really did. I guess it was a bit of Stockholm syndrome. But I did love him. And I loved what I was doing. The other teacher though I think was a bit cuck-ish. He liked to watch me get fucked more than fuck me. He had a much smaller cock too. They were both tops so their sex life was kinda almost non existent until I showed up from my understanding. The first teacher did care about me too. Once I was home for like a week with my parents and he drove 4 hours to see me at like 2 am because I had a panic attack at my parents and had texted him. He just texted me at six in the morning and told me he was there. There was love. But that didn't make it right. Not by a long shot. And I felt like a homewrecker when he wanted to divorce his husband and propose to me.

If you're sad watch a sad movie or read a sad story. Statistically makes people happier.

>>723540739
OH NO NOT THIS THING AGAIN

>>723540522
>but we're not even close to being a threat to capitalism
you never will be
capitalism empowers people instead of brainwashing people into thinking that success ALWAYS means exploitation of the lower class.

But it could be nice if you would start a revolution so I could legally shoot pieces of shit like you in self defense. So please, start a revolution, pretty please.

>>723538029
Yep

>>723540739
Well that was something. Fucking something.

>>723539326
>that tattoo sucks
>yeah but there are worse out there
so? it still sucks.

>>723540986
Nice feet

>>723539155
Anon I'm actually legitimately curious why that's so hot to you. Samefag from before. As the thread has progressed that's been gnawing at me.

>>723533264
Yes

>>723541729
I already posted it anon. Here.

>>723534020
>>723534949
>>723535205
>>723536456
>>723536822
>>723538255
>>723539791
>>723540278
>>723540637

>>723541653
I don't know. I am addicted to extremely abusive relation ships. I can't come unless it I am being abused.

>>723534949
hot as fuck, pretty much lived my dream. Sadly, missed opportunity when I was twink as fuck

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>>723541904
Eh I'm in a healthy relationship. But I'm treated like a cum dumpster in the bedroom. Called a slut, spanked, the collar, the works. Just have a loving normal relationship otherwise. Gotta find that balance.

>>723542039
Seems way hotter reading it than it does when I remember it. Though when I was experiencing it I loved it too. So I can get that. I'm still fairly twinky. Just not a femboy anymore. Still a cum slut Twink bitch.

>>723540739
oh my fucking christ, that poor, poor dog.

>>723542350
I dunno what I am, gotta work out and get the bod back. Trying to work on being more open about myself too, most of my missed opportunities were cause I've been hiding in the closet

>>723540739
The worst part of it is that people like this aren't as uncommon as you think. I'm an EMT and I've seen houses just as bad as this. In one case, it was like this but even worse, since there was a full family living in the house and about 20-30 cats that were living off of the garbage, essentially creating a self-sustaining ecosystem.

>>723542066
I don't know. I am really fucked up. I just like pain a lot and have a really fucked up sense of a relation ship.

>>723541208
>>723541208
Pfffthahahaha capitalism is failing globally, it's in disastrous condition economically, politically, socially, environmentally and even culturally. The only thing preventing socialist revolutions to start all around the world is the continued military and economic might of imperialism, but even that's vanishing at this point. Even capitalist nations are forced to unite behind socialist China to secure their continued existence as independent from western neo-colonialism. And the remaining socialist countries, Laos, Vietnam, China, Cuba and the DPR Korea, are all forming ever stronger ties. The parasitic west won't survive without more colonies, more natural resources to conquer and more foreign markets to expand to. But more and more nations are denying them that, and China is ensuring the indigenous capitalists of African nations are becoming economically stronger and stronger, making these countries ripe for nationalist revolutions. When western imperialism thus falls, the forces stopping the final defeat of capitalism will be so devastated that it will only be a matter of time before the working masses control the entire earth.

>>723542825
>>723542743
Whatever works for you man. I don't work out, I just don't gain weight and was blessed with a perky butt. Unfortunately I was cursed with body hair. Lotta gay guys are into it tho. I don't hide anymore, doesnt mean I talk with a lisp or anything. I just don't make it a big deal and no one else does either. Worked for me. 99 percent of people never guess I'm gay of they see me in every day life.

>>723542841
I get that. I had a phase of that. Now I only like controlled pain and the rest of the time I want cuddles and loving. That and being a bro and gaming with my boyfriend, watching dumb YouTube movies. All that shit. He's been playing final fantasy online all day for his birthday and I'm the drink bitch. Were just trolling and having a good time. When he decides it's bedtime I'll probably get tossed around like a ragdoll for the fifth time today.

>>723543340
Yeah I'm lucky, only gained 20kg in 4 years, ate like crap the whole time. Same thing as you, gained body hair, in the process of getting rid of it, I dont like it.

>>723543506
I don't like it that much either, but my boyfriend does. I used to completely shave and nair and all that shit. Crossdressed on here (not trap, have a cute face but a boy face none the less). But he's not into it and honestly it's too much work so I trim it once a month or so and call it good. Once I stopped cross-dressing it didn't bother me as much because the boyfriend thought the cross-dressing was cute but preferred to have me completely naked anyway and was flat out gay. Likes the man look. He hates beards though. Which is fine cuz my beard always grows patchy.

>>723535205
Do you regret it or do you wish you could go back?

>>723543989
The tattoo or the "being a human sex toy" thing?

Cuz I definitely regret and would love to go back and get a different tattoo. As for the relationship thing, I don't really regret it. It was the start of a turning point for me. The sex and perks were great don't get me wrong. Scratched all the right itches. But I value the lessons I learned about myself more. That was the start of me getting some self respect. That was the beginning of the journey that lead me here. So I don't regret that. But I wouldn't go back.

>capitalism/socialism argument
>twink story
>fitness discussion

Thread officially derailed

>>723544327
Twink anon here. Sorry for the derailment. Was thinking about it also but didn't wanna say anything since it seemed at least one anon was interested in my posts.

>>723537757
I'm not the guy with the stories, but depending on upbringing, growing up feeling like you have something to hide can make you vulnerable to predators. There are plenty who'd use telling your secret against you.

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>>723544533
I'm the guy with the stories. This anon is wise.

>>723544327
And yet it started with such a compelling topic.

>>723527783
You shittalking the osprey brah?

>>723543175
is this pasta?

>>723525388
I wish someone would do that to me

>>723526238
it takes me 10 minutes to smoke an american spirit. does that mean i lose 21 minutes?

>>723545469
As the Twink anon posting stories here, it wasnt great for me. That being said everyone's got their stuff so hey good luck.

>>723545500
waste/lose it's all up to how you see it.

>>723540739

I'm crying right now, from horror or laughter I can't even tell anymore

>>723534020
Post pics of you back then or now

>>723545500
They taught me it was 2 minutes

>>723545970
I don't have any back then pics, and now you wouldn't be interested because 4chan is only interested in traps and dick rates. Plus I may be a slut but I'm my boyfriend's slut so I don't post slutty pics anymore. Sorry anon. <\3

>>723536822

I have a question about you being raped as a kid

How bad was it?

Do you think it was the actual sex that fucked you up or do you think it was how they did it? (Like how forceful it was + without your consent)

I have a girlfriend that said she was raped by her stepdad multiple times but I don't want to upset her with these questions

>>723526814
>wtf is that reference
bible games

>>723540739
I wish I knew what has become of fridgebro these days

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>>723533019
That picture is fake. The person under the bed is a chick, hip and torso structure give it away. Probably some random fetish picture that the dude turned into his personal gay gender swap sissy boy fantasy.

>>723546464
I honestly don't really have the answers you need. Like, how bad was it is an interesting question. I was 11-12 years old. It was an older boy who did it and I didn't really understand what was happening. He was bigger than me. My mind kind of did the whole "black out to protect the psyche" thing. Closest I can relate it to is an out of body experience. The shame and the confusion and the threat of anyone finding out were awful. My parents didn't even know about it until this year when I told them. There was pain but the physical act was like watching a movie. It's like I was living a nightmare. I've talked to several people who experienced rape (rape survival is a stupid term imo, if you're alive of course you survived it). None of us had the same "badness" scale. But most of them had the same reaction that I did. I couldn't speak for your girlfriend though.

It destroyed my self worth. It made me lose interest in things I used to love. It deadened me to emotions in some respects. It made me detach from everyone I loved because how was I supposed to explain something I didn't understand? And when I did understand it what was the point? What could they do or say. It made me have an "us and them" mentality. It made me not want to exist. Not to die, but to not exist. I tried to strangle myself after because I wanted to feel something again that wasn't negative. The actual act in my case wasn't as bad as the emotional and mental damage, because my brain did what it's supposed to do in times of trauma. It sat me down and said "hey, let's focus on the wallpaper of the room. Let's count the toys. Feel how soft the blanket is on your face. Don't cry, don't scream, it'll be OK we will get through this just talk to me".

Have you ever had a broken bone reset? And the doctor or your parent just talks to you to keep you focused on something else? That's what it was like physically. The after effects were worse for me. But my story isn't everyone's.

>>723546880
I know anon. It just made me remember that time in my life. I hadn't seen that post in years is all.

>>723546464
Hope that helps. >>723547375
Bumped my response for you.

>>723548059
Whelp threads about to die.

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>>723540522
>our movements are gaining strength
that's what Xi said.

>>723547375
>>723548059
Hey thanks
I appreciate the answer
I think I somewhat understand with how you put it with the bone reset thing.
I know I've gone into that mode of thinking many times in life

Do you think you've gotten over it ?

>>723536822
Wait 3 of your Attorneys commited suicide?

>>723525388
The white vibrator on the stairs? My wife has the EXACT SAME ONE. I know it's likely, because its a really high seller on Amazon, but...feels kinda funky now.

>>723525970
had a friend who played a DOOR in our 3rd grade play...he got opened and the main character stepped through...it was nuts...like...wtf??

>>723549689
I feel like it's something you don't "get over". It just becomes a part of you. I'm not always thinking about it. I rarely do and I can talk about it now with people on here or my close friends or family. But it'll always be there. I wouldn't say it cripples me as much as it did initially. But once again that's not everyone's experience. I still have things I can't handle. "triggers" that put me in fight or flight mode (I hate that word so much but it's accurate). But I the mental and emotional trauma will always be there in some form. Like an old scar that most people would never notice unless you pointed it out. But that's me. I suspect you're asking me because your girlfriend brings it up sometimes or has some frequent "triggers"? Could be wrong but that'd be my guess. If that's the case it may be that she hasn't quite hit the point that I have. Maybe she hasn't gotten the closure that she needed.

Stupidly enough my closure hit like 3 years ago when I watched Good Will Hunting. There was the speech where Robin Williams tells Matt Damon "it's not your fault" over and over again and I just started bawling because that was all I had ever wanted to hear but never had. I had seen that movie so many times but that time just stick with me. I dunno Im rambling. But yeah.

TLDR I haven't gotten over it, but I have accepted it and grown from it.

>>723549841
I had to re-read my post to get that.
>Top kek

I've probably fucked up more throughout these. Oh well.

>>723550508
OK guys well twink-anon is gonna take a shower and get fucked one last time before bed. It's been fun. Have a good night everyone