You find a time machine, but it turns out it can only be used

5 min into the future when this thread is dead

If you travel into the future you'll be seen by those there as a backwards retard and if you go back in time you'll likely end up being tried as a witch and executed. Best to go way back in time and spend your life time discovering what various dinosaurs tasted like.

>>723393346
>Time thread, uses worm hole....

Back in time to tell hitler everything that went wrong, so he can win the war.

into your moms puseyy to murder you

>>723393346
sept. 1 2012, kill my past self, he deserved it

I wait till to the lottery numbers are drawn and then go back a day

>>723393346
I'd go back 6000 years and kill Eve

Back to the beginning that way im able to fuck every woman alive and be considered everyones ancestor.

>>723393479
I was going to say that but now..
I go back 10 minutes and filter this thread before it happened.

>>723393918
What's the problem with that? At least 10.000 years into the future. If humanity still exists you're going to have an easy time. If not, well, fuck it.

>>723393976
Worm holes can be used for time travel too. duh..

>>723394017
Hitler was a drugged up maniac. He didn't listen to his advisers why the fuck would he listen to some retard who claims to be from the future? You'd end up in a gas chamber quicker than you can divulge the hiding place of Ann Frank.

To before I'm born; watch myself get born and prevent myself from making any of the mistakes I previously made.

>>723393346
September 25th 1962, so I have time and can get the resources to make the Cuban Missile Crisis more interesting.

>>723393346
maybe a 15 minutes before original point?

>>723394227
>Hitler was a drugged up maniac
We all know who is behind this post.

JIDF btfo

+500 years into the future

Last night, to buy a winning powerball ticket

>>723394227

Back to January 21st, 2017 so that I can watch Donald Trump become President of the United States three times in my life.

>>723394107

Would do this depending on how it effects the space time continuum.

Probaly to 2004, no cancerous internet and no newfags

>>723394467
>Plot Twist
Your actions change the number.

>Another plot twist
Your girl wins and leaves you for a nigger.

>>723394542
Wow wait hang on. When was the second time?

>>723393346
About 10 years back. I will start researching on time travel, compile my gained knowledge and pass it 10 years later to myself before entering the time machine I just found. After n iterations I will be able to build the time machine myself, thus breaking the cycle of paradox.
Finally, I will name my newly created time machine to honor /b/:

RETARDIS

>>723394542

8 times anon.

>he wins
>wins the recount
>gets electorate to vote him in
>takes oath of office

And thats for just his first term. Cant wait for the second term.

>>723393346
a week ago and play the lottery.
obvious but there you go.

I suppose I could commit a crime, my past self providing an alibi but I'd rather be rich than waste my one trip on revenge or pleasure.

>>723393346
december 2001 for a practically unlimited supply of party hats and christmas crackers on rs

>>723394641
>hillary voter detected

>>723394641

Hasn't happened yet, will happen in 2020 though. I suppose my plan hinges on me living for four years and not getting murdered by some intolerant liberal who doesn't like people with different views as them.

>>723393346
1946
no DNA evidence
Knowing what I know now
Be a sex machine

>>723393346
I can't reverse my own time / life, so what's the point?

Even if i go back in time to warn my childhood self of something, it won't un-do my life.
It would just create a split timeline, one where i did shit i regret, and another where i was visited by myself from the future.

>>723394776
Word, now I get it.
>>723394766
Fuck you, this behavior is why people don't like us Trump voters.

>>723394776
You don't like liberals, do you?

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>>723393346
>travel in time
>earth has moved from origin time to arrival time
>die in space

3 min into the past before I find the time machine so I can use it again

>>723394922

I don't like intolerant liberal bigots.

I didn't mean to imply that all liberals are intolerant or bigoted. A lot of them seem to be, though. Especially these days.

>>723394925
the only true answer in this thread

>>723394888
>Fuck you blablabla
Idc mate.
In disguise as a trump supporter I can act as stupid as I want and still win.

Checkmate.

>>723394174
Can't kill a fairytale.

>>723394925
>implying that a machine able to travel through time can't travel through space
wew lad

>>723394925

Then you time travel to the same day of the year you stupid retard

>>723395023
Aren't you acting like an intolerant liberal bigot right now?

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>>723393346
Easiest question ever.

>Go back to 2010, be better at my new job right off the start.
>Not married yet, don't get married.
>No house yet... Take downpayment and buy bitcoin when it was like $0.25
>Be multimillionaire by 2013, life is good.

>>723395075
I got trips last post. I already won.

>>723395163

I mean, I'm at least a step above that right now, since I at least acknowledge that not everybody that holds opposing political views is intolerant/racist/bigoted/etc

>>723395161
implying the solar system isn't moving in the spiral arm of the galaxy that is itself moving

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>>723394227
>hiding place

>>723395297

yeah whatever retard if youre gonna come at me with this stupid atrology shit then go and fuck a black hole with your baby dick

I'd go back a year and get rich on bets

>>723395392
>atrology

>>723395161
The earth goes around the sun.
Our galaxy rotates with our solar system in it.
Universe is expanding.
There's no way to come out on earth if you leave from earth.

>>723393346
August 5th 2016 best day of my life

>>723395139
Actually yeah. The space part of space/time is pretty important. Even if you could figure out how to compensate for the curvature of space (we can't yet) then you still end up with a terminal placement issue if the timeframes are long enough. For example, in 1000BC, what was the ground height from the planet's core where you are now sitting? Good stuff to know if you don't want to arrive underground or dropping to your death.

>>723393346
Jan 19th 2014.....treat my ex better.....I lost a great person because I treated her like shit.....I miss you Bing. This will allow me to keep my best friend (my dog) I rescued him on the 18th and it will give me enough time to do a better job and not be a cunt to the love of my life.....doesn't matter though in the end I'll be ending my life when my dog dies.

>>723395261
Are you a tolerant person then?
How far does this tolerance reach?

>>723395582
kek

>>723393346
when time travel has become a public transport

>>723395813
You could just use the machine to go anywhere in time (assuming the machine comes with you) and then locate the earth using the machine and get there by gravity. As long as you get close enough to the Earth you are saved.

>>723395392

Please be a troll. You can't seriously be this dumb.

>>723393346
1976

>>723393346
Far enough into the future that I can sell my knowledge of early 21th century civilization and live an easy life.
Like 10-20k years should be fine.

>>723395720
also, gravitation waves distort space/time. finding a way to travel time may be easier to figure out that how to navigate space while doing so.

>>723395978
Actually you gotta be way dumber for asking.

2000 years later. to see what will happend to humanity if we have regress i bring a computer a gun and all that i need to become god of the futur. If they are more advenced technologically I enjoy the new possibilities with a past eye

>>723395949
true - with advanced enough space travel you could exit the solar system, travel in time then travel back to earth with a fair amount of safety

>>723393346
2001. The beginning of the short few best years of my life.

>>723396224
>god of the futur
>what will happened to humanity
>if we have regress
>god of the futur
>advenced
Gooby pls

>>723395824

Tolerance is all relative. Last decade's "tolerant person" is this decade's "sexist/misogynist/racist" so that is not a question with a cut and dry answer. The answer to your question depends on who you ask. I think that I'm pretty tolerant.

As far as how far-reaching my tolerance is, I'm not going to sit down and list everything that I am and am not tolerant against. I'll say that I don't believe that people should be silenced for their opinions, even ones that offend my sensibilities or that I don't agree with, and I don't automatically lump everyone into the "good people" or "bad people" basket just because they share similar viewpoints, political or otherwise. That isn't to say that everyone that shares a political stance can't be "bad" in my eyes, I just don't automatically assume so.

>>723394180

This

>>723395978
yes, he can

>>723395978

lol i spotted the idiot with the baby dick, whats wrong cant find a black hol to stick it in galileo?

>>723395582

obviously i meant astrology you stupid fuck are you really so shit that you have to attach onto a typo??? fight me with logic you dumbass!!

>>723393346

Far enough back in time to copyright certain words, if you can even copyright words... get royalties anytime a company wants to use the word for advertising.

>>723395978
stik yer babe duck in black wholeplz

June 1,1941, somehow convince hitler that invading Russia is a bad plan. Then sit back and watch the nazis finish off the jews and win the war.

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>>723394227
>end up in a gas chamber quicker than you can divulge the hiding place of Ann Frank.
Kek'd

>>723395720
>>723396128

okay steven hawkin you can calm down with that stupid sciende shit

the second before i leave in the time machine

>>723396720
>astrology
I want to be belive you are real for the luls

>>723394543
Would do it anyway - fuck the spacetime continuum.

>>723396946

i dont get it???

stupid fuck???

i'd travel back in time to the moment i was given a time machine. that way, i can tell myself what it was like and give a suggestion as to where to go. and have sex with myself. then probably go back again in his time machine and just make an infinite number of me's, for world domination and for sexual research.

>>723393346
just check the winning lottery numbers which would only be like a year back or less buy that exact number, be rich!!??
how easy can this be

>>723393346
i would go to the future to find a better time machine, then go back using said time machine and then tell everyone here the truth about op
edit: hes a faggot

>>723393346
Go back in time and create my own religion, i will call it independent thinking

>>723397347
Lol you can't edit on /b/

edit: wtf why?

>>723397128
astrology pertains to star signs like pices, cancer, scorpio ect and what they say about your personality/future

Astronomy is the study of stars

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>>723397128
probably being trolled but I still want to believe you've got wifi in the doublewide

>>723393918
more likely various dinosaurs will discover what you taste like.

>>723394934

THIS

>>723397365
>independent thinking
Sick tipping.
I bet you own more than 5 fedoras.

>>723394925
Good point. I'd be dead.

Would go back to the summer of 2015 and plae a huge bet on Leicester City to win Premier League and the winner in all the other league and sports.

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>>723397571
Hey! My momma lives in a trailer!

>>723397536

lol! smarty pants is talking about pieces and cancer and shit, its all the same shit idiot astrology astronoy its close enough now shut the fuck up

>>723396000
Checked.
Why '76?

>>723397571

haha sick redneck jokes you stupidass fight me for real with logic and knowledge

>>723397895
weak bait is weak

>>723397895
oh, should have read the rest of the thread. didnt realize you were le epik trol xD

>>723397912
To fulfill his destiny of fucking his mom and becoming his own father..

>>723395823
i cri

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>>723398014
Stupid ass is two words there logical intellect

Would probably go back shortly before I was conceived.
Would cuck my dad, cum on my moms face and vanish infront of their eyes, because they never get to make me.

Suicide like a boss.

>>723394776
KEK... it will be a miracle if that retard lasts more than a year

>>723395161
You might be the most ignorant nigger in this thread. The whole goddamn universe is moving. The galactic arm is turning around it's center at like a million meters per second. We're just sitting "still" in the inertial frame of our star since it's keeping shit in orbit.

>>723398439


That's what everyone outside of California and New York said about Obama

Lo and behold, 8 years and people are begging for more, despite him being average at best.

>>723398579
whatever asswhipe talk me to sleep some more about your sweaty astrology

>>723394467
This is probably the best use of this thing I'm likely to accomplish so yeah me too. Except I'm going to go back about 10 years to not only take a large lottery winner but also make a series of very good stock Investments.

>>723398840

Or you could just start your stock investments now with your 200 million dollars and today's technology without essentially losing 10 years of your life.

>>723393346
If I could choose my destination I'd go for Yellowstone park 3000yrs ago. If I could take whatever I can fit in the machine I'd bring steel utensils, a couple of cross cut saw blades, a bag of screws and nails, and some finish saws. Bring a couple hundred feet of bundled copper tubing. Build a comfy cabin, use the hotsprings for geothermal heating in the winters, and just marvel at the fucking wonder of it all.

Being a pale man in a land of natives with such wonders I'd probably be worshipped as their god for as long as I cared to be. That or skinned and eaten for my power.

>>723398774
neat spelling bro. say cool wip.

>>723399468
Kek

I would go back to 10 november 2012 so i can try to save my grandmother from dying but if that still happens even with my interference i would tell her i love and miss her and i would tel how it was going with me before i timetraveled so i can tell her about my daughter see sadly will never see.

>>723394542
String theory and Hillary wins while you succumb to depression knowing that you alone did this

>>723393346
I have to agree with others that say use it to go back a single day to win the lotto.

>>723399562
How did you kill her?

>>723393346
I'll go back to the day I was born and redo my whole life over again

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>>723399468

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>>723399562
heh, fag

>>723399877

Redo your whole life again... from your current age?

It's time traveling, not time reversing. If you're 20 now and go back to 2000, you'll still be 20.

>>723399468

keep attacking spelling bro shows you dont got a leg to stand on !!!

>>723394180
lol your miserable pathetic self?

i'd go back to 2010 where /b/ was /b/

>>723398051

Hell, I'd fuck my own mom back in 76. She was going on 19 and from the pictures I saw, she was pretty fucking cute.

Only way to go back in time is to travel faster than the speed of light.

>>723393346
would go back in time to stop my mother from marrying my father and create a paradox this way.

>>723400757
and it's not really time travelling

>>723400185
thanks for your concern about my physical condition. I'm propped up on a thesaurus though so it's all good. You look like you could spend a little time around one too. Maybe a 3rd grade grammar book just to be sure.

>>723400938
hahahahahahahahaha!!!

stupid

>>723393346
Eh... go back just before the largest powerball jackpot.

Win previous drawing.

Use knowledge of Stock Market multiply winnings.

>>723394925
gravity is tied to time

>>723393346
if I could pick a point in my own life history, probably go back to University and give myself a heap of good advice

if anytime in modern history, probably the 60's or 70's

if i had to choose ancient history, probably Persian empire. Things were pretty good there for the time; decent healthcare, religious freedom, good lifestyle, good work conditions and plenty of slaves to whip and greeks to kill.

Fags

>>723393346
If I was ever suicidal or fatally ill Id go as far into the future as the time machine could handle, just out of curiosity.

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>>723398121
Yeah me too often.....the beautiful doge that has kept me going for over two years now......Love you Thor, at the same time I wish every day I could end my life but I keep going for you.

>>723393346
>write down lotto numbers for the last few years
>Go back in time to when I was 18
>Assuming theres another me I meet me
>Share the same identity
>Win lotto
>Live out the rest of my life as a shitposter with any worries

>>723402525
Yeah, they don't call them "man's best friend" for nothing. Glad you've got him there with you.

December 24th 1994 to see my mother before she gave me away, so I can see what she looks like. I was a little kid and have no memory of her but want to see her dearly.

>>723393346
To my first birthday. Work in lucrative markets. Become teacher in hometown. Mentor myself. Do everything I can for self. Make sure I have a good life.

Wait for causality to erase me.

>>723403736
You were the best gift she ever gave.

Last Thursday, so I can pay my phone bill on time.

>>723403189
indeed my friend....he just turned three, I figure I have 9-12 years left if hes lucky.....I'm trying my best to hang in there but each day gets a little harder to make it through the day. Literally think about killing myself every hour of every day.

>>723393346
Now here is a major idea I could come up with. I have no idea what the future would hold so I'd go back to the past but play the stock market. It'd also have to be a big enough event where if something I did alters the timeline it wouldn't make a major change. Probably like 2008 and starting by shorting the housing market would be good. And yes I did watch the big short and that other movie whatever it's called about the two office dwellers.

I'd go to very early Colonial America and make "friends" with some of the native women, if you know what I mean.

>>723393346
August 2001. I have a plane to catch.

>>723393346

Back to the day when I fucked my mom first time, and do it better this time.

>>723404352
Talk to your best friend about it /b/ro. He'll listen, you KNOW he won't repeat it to anyone and I believe he can help you through this to a better place. I hope things improve for you soon anon.

May 1 1888 London England because Victorian era.

>>723394925
Nice, you've discovered Hibbert's 4th Time Travel Paradox. You can't both travel through time and space simultaneously. Look me up if your still around in 2287.

>>723393346
I'd destroy it. If i travel into the past or future the earth would be in a different location, I'd end up in space. The whole universe is in motion, time travel would be devistating

>>723394543
Actually time traver in general will create a paradox that will make your trip to never exist.
That's if we're on a linear timeline.
But in multiple timelines it wont create any problems.

>>723394649
>underated post.
well played sir

December 22nd 2014

~Almost got laid by this chick with an amazing body, but was stupid to do anything.

Regret it every day

>>723405715
>1888
Also Jack the Ripper.

>>723394649
>RETARDIS
Topkek

>>723394925
That's a good answer.
Haven't thought of that.

caveman days, build a big motherfucking house round up some cavegirls, become hugh hefner of the jurassic

I'd go back to a time when I thought I knew what I wanted to be doing.

>>723395392
Please kill yourself and spare humanity from your stupidity.

go back 10 years and NOT buy a house and put all my savings into a few choice stocks and retire filthy rich in my 30s.

>>723406192
There would be a bit of a wait for cavegirls, from the jurassic.

>>723396720
>atrology
no mate that was the correct word don't listen to the other faggots.
are you teaching in MIT?

>>723395720
But think this.
We as humans on earth with already traveling with earth.
We are bound on earth by gravity.
While time travelling you will still be bound on earth just watching everything on fast forward.

>>723406382
not if i bring your mom

>>723396310
or just get in the center of some quasar or some other star.

>>723393346
https://youtu.be/GURTWgJ9MW4
Hahaha

>>723406192
that pussy is going to be RIPE

>>723397365
Just hail satan

>>723406961
Its gonna be stinky and hairy,but the sex will be so worth it

>>723400061
>20 now
>2000
>2017 now

Do you math boi?

>>723393346
Take record of lotto numerslast night and go back a day

>>723394174
Settle for topping Emily Pankhurst

>>723407528
Learn english u illiterate faggot boi?

Go back to the time i was 15 years old suck my own cock

>>723407528


Are you implying that I said that he was born in 2000? Because I didn't say that, your retard brain thought it.

1970's.

Easy to rob banks with future weapons. Easy to rape women because lol, what rights?

Niggers still being hated is a bonus.

>>723393346
June 1993.
Tell my younger self to do the exact opposite of what I actually did.

Back to Bolivia 12000 bc
Want to see how they cut and drilled the PumaPunku stones without a lazer or waterjet

>>723405391
Oh trust me brother he gets an ear full. He is 100% the reason I try to help anyone at anytime.... deep down though I just want the pain to end. I've thought about finding him a new home but I just don't trust anyone to take care of him the way I will, anything he ever needs I'll provide.....I just don't trust anyone to uphold to that same standard. He's family.

>>723397619
Kek

>>723408761
what did you do? this sounds interesting af

>>723409222
>He's family.
True dat. And to him, you're basically god.
The pain will recede, but it takes time. We don't get over these things, we go through them. I hope you come out the other side stronger.

>>723409610
Not really interesting I've just made a lot of poor decisions since then.

If I could go back and do things differently, I probably would be in a better situation by now.

>>723393346
You guys are such lame economic faggots.

Go back to 1960. Invest in Plastics. Make Bank. Hang around Palo Alto in 1973, bump into Wozniak and Jobs, and invest in their company for 75% of whatever profits they ever make. Hang around Harvard in 1975, and become Bill Gates Mentor. Loan him money in exchange for 75% of whatever company he forms. Do the same with the faggity fagget, Zuckerberg - maybe help the Winklevosses fuck him up proper with some good lawyering and own the whole enchilada. Invest early profits in Mexican Telecom with my buddy, Carlos Slim, and funnel all those profits to Berkshire Hathaway.

Be the worlds only Trillionaire - bang Giselle in front of Tom Brady, and Jen in front of Brad.

Profit.

>>723393918
Yes, but if you go far enough into the future you'll hit a point where most documentation of what life is like today will have been lost, and you'll be the world's best source for information about the late 20th and early 21st century. You'll be able to give talks about history that people will pay the equivalent of hundreds of dollars per ticket in today's currency for just by talking about your daily life. You'll be seen as primitive, but incredibly valuable, and if you play your cards right you can get a significant amount of wealth and live a comfortable life. The hardest part would be learning to use the new technology.

>>723410470
But what if wayy in the future, the Libertards have gotten rid of Gender, and you have to fuck some semi-dude with an alien buzz-cut and eyes on the side of his head??

That would suck.

>>723394206
Have you ever used a worm hole for time travel?
DUH!

>>723410173

Yeah then be dead by 2020 because you're fucking 80.

Do all of you "Go back 50 years into the past and become rich" retards stop to consider that reliving the 70s-now when you've lived with post-2000 technology your whole life might be kind of boring?

>>723393346
Go into the future and just get another time machine = profit

>>723410971
Go to the past and get the same time machine

>>723410918
Just think of all the fine poon-tang that was walking around in the 1970's. Christie Brinkley, Kathy Ireland, Candy Loving. Jesus, dude, there have been some FINE babes along the way.

I'd be 80 now, and fucking Chloe... Mmmm, good....

>>723411099
Kek I thought about that, but then you'd still end up with 1 time machine since you can only use it once.

>>723410636
>libertards

I think you're mixing up your parties... but that's ok, no one expects your autistic brain to know the difference.

>>723411388
just do it again

>>723411388
you'd create a paradox if you went into the past to take the same time machine you just took to get to the past.

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>>723409745
It's all good anon, I embrace death at this point.....Life is literally meaningless for me beyond this point, every date I go one every woman I meet is just nothing to me in the grand scheme of things....its a lot to explain what I've been through but my ex dealt with agorophobia and I helped her over come that only to be left for another man....after that I dunno, I'm just unable to let anyone into my heart. I try to throw good out into the world but I don't allow anyone to enter my own world. Every date I go on, I just want it to be over so I can never talk to the person again...I'm fucked up for life I'm afraid. I drink every chance I get to drown the pain away.

>>723411424
E Plurubus, Unum, dude. Once they create 50 "genders" then they'll eventually merge them into One. Fucking faggot, go to the Future and prove me wrong... kek.

>>723393346
Honestly, I would go to the future.

>>723396615
i assure you i supply my wife with the finest, self prepped black bulls available.

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>>723411569
also, while drunk I'm gonna throw this out there...this is why I love /b/, every once and a while there an anon that understands....thanks brother, I mean in the end I'll kill myself but it feels good to know I'm understood to some degree.....I have plenty of people that want to chill but I choose to close myself into the self hatred and path of destruction. I'm drunk as fuck but i thank you for the words my brother.

>>723394467
Don't go back to last night, go back and win on Saturday night. That way, you won't have to split the winnings.

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>>723411900
pic related, she was agorophobic I'm DPD, I can't wait to die tbh. I so....fucking....look forward....to it....

>>723393346
The day before my son died

>>723393346
Go back to ancient Rome and use what we know now to take power for myself. I would rule as emperor for a while fuck bitches and all that. Then I'd usher in the age of science a full thousand years ahead of schedule and turn Rome into a fully fledged modern democracy.

>>723411491
kek seems like a waste of "time" :^)

>>723411503
you've just blown my mind anon

i guess when i slept over at my friend's house or my car accident. i''m not sure, near death or rape.

>>723412257
both sound fun, honestly.

>>723412086
Nice idea, but the fucking Dagoes wouldn't accept Democracy - I mean, look at fucking Italy today... Besides, you better know how to make Penicillin from scratch if you're going back that far... And all the bitches had hairy armpits and legs. Not cool, /b/ro...

March 3 2017 so I can play my Nintendo Switch.

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154KB, 450x694px

>>723400061
A leg to stand on, you say?