ITT: SHARE YOUR SECRETS!

>>723200587
i wish i could suck myself off

>>723200645
who doesnt?

brmp

I have cripplin'depression

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I don't have any secrets.

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>>723200645

>>723200587
I skaled my flaggid one time. it feelet strange to do it but she was ok with it i guess. never talk about it again though.

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Ive chugged watermelon toothpaste when I was 9

>>723200587
Earlier today I fapped to beastiality, now I regret it.
>sauce
http://yespornplease.com/view/290842509

>>723200645
He said secrets ya chump

Still a virgin, wanna fuck guys and girls. This isn't much of a super secret. The only secret about it is that I care more for girls.

I've never have personal feelings for any guy, only sexual.
So if I could manage to find some guy (guess he'd have to find me cute) to help me live out the fantasy at least one of be fine with it.
In the context of gay sex, I can't confirm whether I'd be a bottom or top. Only touched my butthole once and it felt rather pointless.

This shitty secret is just a big bump for the thread lololol

I haven't been able to find a job for over a year now. Yeah I know I'm applying for a six figure job because thats what I was doing for the 5 years prior, but I've gone through the full round of interviews with 4 companies only to have them pull the position 3x. 4th one the final HR interview lady was a bitch and killed it for me. I think I'm just going to kill myself instead. I haven't been this depressed in years.

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I fuck my toddler sister on daily basis, it makes me cum very hard every time that little slut screams when my dick is deep in her cunt.
sometimes I strangle her, the gagging sound is making me diamonds, I'm looking forward to deepthroating her next time.

oh and forgot to mention also that I once stole a chocolate bar from a local walmart, shit was hardcore

>>723200587
My wife agreed to do a photoshoot with my male photographer friend. Turns out it was a nude photoshoot. Don't know how I feel about being lied to by my friend and the fact that my wife just went a long with it...

>>723202181
does not matter any way he is a gay homosex

>>723202088
I don't think you're truly gay if you don't like anal dude, just stick to girls and don't force yourself to be a freak
>>723201808
You did what?

>>723202181
does your name begin with A or H?

>>723202181
cuck

I sniff my sils panties when i got to her house

>>723200645
Younger I was able to do it, it's really exciting but also frustrating because the position is totally uncomfortable and it kill the pleasure a little

I have had a best friend since 6th grade. I'm 32 now. We're still good friends. Ever since our teens we would watch porn together but haven't done that in a while. I'm engaged and I want nothing more than to have a 3way with my best friend. My girl is sort of down for it. Thing is I would rather we have a full blown poly triad. When I'm fucking my girl the only thing that gets me off is the thought of him there sharing her with me. Total gay/bi for him. He doesn't know.

>>723202402
thanks for dumping these, appreciate it

>>723202295
He's not gay, he has a wife.
>>723202336
Actually it does begin with an H.
>>723202368
That's what I feel like right now...

>>723202448
cuck faggot kys

>>723202464
no problem

>>723202504
do you live in northern europe?

>>723202504
no not him the phertography guy

I'm a zoophile and I've let several dogs fuck me and I hate that I'm constantly paranoid about anybody I know finding out because it would destroy my life for obvious reasons.

I also wish I could convince the religious politicians that made it illegal that it's not abuse but if you try to speak up in defense of it, even if you AREN'T a zoo you'll probably end up in jail.

When i was 14 i went on some weird anonymous videochats and masturbated with other men.

>>723202706
m/f?

>>723202510
Thing is I'm categorically better looking, taller, stronger, and more well hung than him. I think the sharing thing came about because I'm not 100% gay, I don't want to kiss him or anything, but I want to share an orgasm with him more than anything. The thought of both of us in her pussy rubbing our dicks together and cumming at the same time is my biggest sexual fantasy.

>>723202720
you shuld not do that

>>723202589
Oh no I don't.
>>723202690
The photographer is my friend...

>>723202402
i don't really understand asian gang culture, but is the tattoo on his back supposed to be some sort of yakuza thing?

I smoke weed with random cats and dogs on the streets, they seem to really like it

>>723202873
>fucks your wife
>friend
kek

>>723202751
M. Weird that it's always the first response I get in these threads.

>Male zoos are even more at risk because there are plenty of people that want to fuck female zoos as a fetish so they let them get a pass

>>723202896
Yeah it shows that he's a yakuza. Basically it's a joke that the gramps is in a gang so the guy who fucked the girl is screwed if the gramps find out what happens.

>>723202842
They didn't knw, didn't show my face. I still don't get what got me to do it. Wouldn't do it again.

I am a professional YLYL banana shitposter, I have 9000 images, 200 webms and 300 gifs, all YLYL banana related. my mommy is proud of me

>>723200587
>be me
>be 14
>have 12 year old sister
>sister sometimes sleeps in the same bed as me even tho it was a bit weird I never had a problem with it
>she wants to sleep in my bed one night and I agree
>starts messing around and bites my finger
>I keep my finger in there
>she starts to suck
>closes her eyes and sucks my finger like its my cock
>my actual cock becomes hard
>14yo me has no idea what to do but im becoming more and more aroused
>spur of the moment i move her hand to my cock
>she feels it through my boxers and strokes it
>I realize what is happening is super weird
>pretend I need the toiler
>stick fingers down my throat and vomit
>tell sister she should sleep in her own bed because ive just been sick
>never talk about it again

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I committed the Whitechapel murders back in '88.

>>723203035
>weird that its always the first response i get in these threads
because we need to know if you are a faggot zoophile, or just a zoophile.

>>723202873
Oh well than i guess maybe he is not your freind after all. sound like a dick head to me.

>>723200587
> so first girlfriend i ever had first kiss faggot the entire lot.
> super happy she plays with my dick sucks me off the sex is amazing, i think
> other hot girl atleast a 7 wants to fuck me, we kiss she gives me a hj. i stop her
> fast forward a few weeks my gf finds out flips shit threatens suicide i decide im sticking with her
> after 5 years of only fucking her i put a ring on it
> she stops having sex like she hates it
> so i send pics to other girls get a few back she finds out looses it again
> swear it wont ever happen again she gets over it
> still not having sex, so i decide to get myself an excort.
> i fucking love it i start fucking as many escorts as i can hide the cash away form her
> at-least 8 deep i decide i have morals
> then an old hs friends drops in and we decide to be fuck buddies
> been fucking her for a few weeks feelsgoodman to get that knob wet as fuck.
> she knows shes a side hoe and doesn't care she just wants my d
> got sucked off at her place came home wife was horny so sucked me off and i was still wet from side hoe
> feel bad but still not getting much at home and this side hoe is fucking amazing
thanks b i feel better

>>723202300
Makes sense, I figured the gay fantasies are only there because I still have my v-card.

After a while you don't need to masturbate to much to relieve the tension, so naturally other kinds of porn flood in

>>723201567
try going to a professional ?

I'm lusting after my niece. She's going to stay with me for a week soon and I'm afraid things will escalate.

>>723203121
disappointing ending.
100% pure faggotry

>>723203218
>Faggot zoophile
I'm straight with humans, fuck I don't even like porn that involves human men.

But I'm morally against penetrating animals, so even if I wanted to I wouldn't do it. There's no way to tell if an animal wants or enjoys penetration. On the other hand, a male dog that actually wants to fuck you will gladly do it without you even doing anything but bending over.

>>723203368
better that than lie like 99% of people here

>>723203081
I'll give you 5 bucks

>>723202136
kill your self and post stream here

some black guy admitted to me that he killed a guy and was never caught for it.

>>723201713

Can you teach me?

>>723202166
wtf man, walmart isn't a charity it has employees it needs to pay

>>723203445
I didnt say you were an average faggot. I called you a zoofag, there's a difference.
neck

>>723200587

Met girl on internet, she fell in love with me, I kept her sweet so that I could get what I want out of her, pics vids you know the usual.

Now I'm bored of her but it turns out she's fucking mental and won't go, threatened to off herself over the entire thing and says she has no one.

As much as I am a soulless fuck I can't let her off herself so reluctantly sticking around so that she feels better about her own shitty life.

Wife doesn't know about it though so happy days I guess.

>>723203603
I really regret the horror I have done, I even donated the chocolate bar money to walmart but it still cripples me, I just want to be a good person...

>>723203701
I see.

>>723203281
well it's your wifes fold for not keeping the sex life in your relationship healthy. What she doesn't know doesn't hurt her.

>>723203834
first step is admitting your mistakes

>>723203121
worst ending I have ever heard.

>>723203741
pics

>>723204153
So true.

>>723204153
thats the fucking plan

>>723203156
if true, cool.

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I go to a Christian college yet am secretly the biggest weed dealer for my town. Oh and traps are sexy. It's a weird existence

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I wank thinking about my cousin

>>723202136
Start your own business!

I fucked my brother a few times

>>723200587
i am not from earth

>>723204912
Secretly everyone does, right?

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>>723200587
>be me
>last night with two friends (we'll call them "Gangstabro" and "Driverbro")
>about like 3 AM
>Gangstabro's fuckbud left to go see some jock faggot from school
>we're bored as hell
>Driverbro takes the group to the town's park
>go over to a gazeebo with a shitty picnic table
>Driverbro presses his arm lightly on one of the seats, says, "This bench seems weak."
>retardinstincts.jpg
>make a huge leap up, send my feet rocketing down on the seat
>the thing splits right in half
>the 3 of us howl with laughter
>Gangstabro gets on the other side and starts jumping on that seat
>took all 3 of us to break the other one in about 2 minutes
>we're now laughing so loud the whole town could've heard us
>we jet the fuck out of the park after we broke the picnic table seats and just dick around outside the library for the rest of the night

Me and my friends are pretty much now hidden vandals.

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I get off on the reaction of girls when they receive a cock pic. Anyone wanna whatsapp my cousin and post her reply? I got her number

>>723205158
Wanna text/whatsapp her?

>>723205236
You want me to extract nudes? Nahh thanks man, done it once before, felt like shit afterwards

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>>723205446
Pretty please?

I've jerked off in front of hypnotized people before.

>>723205029
I used to do enterprise software sales. What business could I start?

>>723205800
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

>My wife can't understand why I am still with her.
>She single handedly destroyed our finances
>This was after she came into a $375,000 inheritance
>I don't know why I am with her anymore.
>She literally sucks at money.

>>723206199
Whore her out, get money, then leave the damaged goods.

>>723205951
I kid you not

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>>723202402
god bless, anon

Alright. This is my story. Listen up bitch fucks.

>be me, extra virgin olive oil, 17
>at my (at the time) best m8's bash
>drugs are being inhaled, alcohol consumed
>it's an engagement party

>best m8 engaged to childhood crush
>10/10 blond, amazing bod and face
>feelsbadman.jpg
>she is doing all kinds of drinks and merry iguana
>eventually fucking everyone is passed out
>everyone except my loser ass, my m8 and a couple others
>too bitch to drink and smoke pot because mom might find out

>m8 and his buddies decide to go get more alcohol
>sure go drink and drive whatever
>m8 tells me to keep an eye on fiance
>OPPORTUNITY KNOCKIN
>she's passed out in their bedroom alone
>try to shake her, slap her in the face
>nothin doin

>those fucking yoga pants, that fucking yoga pants ass of my dreams
>The penis becomes a thunderdong in anticipation
>start to rub and squeeze the butt
>put my face in the butt
>inhaling deep as I can
>it's so... fucking... good
>cock is literally maximum overboner
>whip it, start to rub it on her ass, in the crack
>grind on that ass until I fucking explode

>get some paper towels, start to clean her up
>an evil idea becomes my brain
>scoop cum with finger, pull down her yoga pants and panties
>slip that finger into that puss
>all up in that puss
>gob up some more cum and push it in
>clean up and gtfo
>m8 comes around, suspects nothing, party fizzles, everyone goes home

>several months later the slut is pregnant
>they are so enraged their protection didn't work

>lmao teach you to future cuck me you shit suckers

I'm the father of my best friends grandson. I'm a piece of shit and had sex with his 17 year old daughter. She refused to name the father to save my friendship with her dad. I want to do the right thing and be with her and help raise my kid but I'm to afraid of coming clean to my friend. The boy is 2 now and I can feel the time I'm losing with him. She told me it's ok and not my fault and things happen. But I know I'm to blame.

>>723203035
Hot girls willingly wrapped erotically in fur to the point of orgasm is fappable.

Some fucking gay faggot getting his hairy arse reamed by a Shepherd isn't

Now you know why