How would /b/ kill themselves?

plastic bag and a bottle of nitrogen.

strap on the ol' jihad vest and hop off a very large building, go boom in mid air, wear a backpack full of confetti

>>723185772
Shoot out with the coppers

Why would I kill myself?

>>723185772
Not like that. Hanging isn't a quick death even with a long fall.

hanging breaks the neck so you're paralyzed not dead. You die from asphyxiation because you stopped breathing.

I'll take a bullet to the brain any day or that shit

>>723185772
Hanging (long drop) or heroin overdose.

File: IMG_20170119_134540.jpg (153KB, 1441x1070px) Image search: [Google]

153KB, 1441x1070px

>>723185772

If I had to? 12 gauge slug. Hard to fuck that up.

train or jumping off a skyscraper

>>723185772
http://www.infowars.com/watch-alex-jones-show/
WATCH THIS IF YOU ARE NOT A GOVERNMENT CUCKHOLD AND HAVE SELF-RESPECT.

Tackle an approaching train

>>723186205

>train

only cucks involve strangers in their suicides. Off yourself without hurting others, faggot bitch

>>723186297
Somehow I don't think the train will mind much

Partial hanging , nice quick and easy...can jerk off as well , make it look accidental

>>723185772
This probably with maybe a better local
Or just slice my wrists straight across

Pressing the carotid avoiding that the blood goes to the brain

>>723186297
Agreed

>>723185772
cyanide

>>723186335

The train won't mind, the conductor might. Also the poor faggots who have to clean up your body which is now smeared across a mile of track.

>>723186025
Bull shit
Your brain stem snaps
You die.

>>723186233
>Watch The Alex Jones Radio Show
>Watch The Radio Show

>>723186233
Fuck off faggot

>>723186355
No anon, you have to cut along the line, not across the street. This is a common misconception and most people fail suicide because they cut the wrong way.

Also sit in a tub with warm water, it'll hurt much less.

Want it to be quick. A shot to the head will be enough.

by waiting. live is so short anyway. its pretty much almost over

im trying to figure out how the fuck to do it with 8 21mg nicotin patches and 200 mg of adderall. Any ideas I dont want to be a bloody mess.

>>723186484
Inb4 someone states their favourite most obvious fact.
No I'll still bleed out just not as fast

>>723186297
Don't hate on muslims like that. It's 2017, racism is so passe.

File: 1487651235243.jpg (54KB, 765x770px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 765x770px

>>723186233
Fuck that shabbos goy piece of shot liar. Fuxk him and his Jew kids...he is a fuckin sellout.

>>723185772
I'd die.

>>723186668
Suit yourself friendo.

>>723186567
seriously anyone going to help with this.

>>723185772
I'm going off large sheer 500 feet drop cliff a few hours drive away from my home. I've always loved jumping off things when i was a child so seems like a natural progression.
I tried hanging myself but i don't know if it's my fucking fat ass neck but i just couldn't seem to get enough pressure to block the blood without crushing my windpipe which just fucking hurts.
I'm a colossal coward so i don't want to die in pain; i just want it to be over and a 500 foot drop (well the sudden stop at the end) is pretty much instant and painless.

File: -i34.jpg (68KB, 737x746px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 737x746px

I plan to use the helium mask method. I have to wait until my mom passes away though. I don't want her to be alone or have to bury her son. When she does go someday (hopefully a long time from now), I'm going to take what little money I have, go see the ocean (never seen it), and die on a lovely, secluded beach.

I figured out a while back that life just isn't something at which I'm going to be successful, and I'm never going to find love. I'm not really angry about it. I just lost the genetic lottery.

File: 1369684115040.gif (805KB, 394x230px) Image search: [Google]

805KB, 394x230px

>>723185772
get drunk, go to somewhere really cold and lonely, like a forest in winter, drink a shitload more, take off most of your clothes, lie down and sleep...you wont feel the cold because of the alc and you will just freeze to death while sleeping

>>723186668
If you get the vein, but the problem with across the street is you'll have to cut through a lot of other crap to get at it. That's why along the line is better -- fewer obstructions. You can just slide the knife under a vein, and let the blade do the work, without all that painful/hard tugging/twisting/hacking.

>>723186413
perhaps, but why take the risk?
just dive head first off a tall building and turn your brain to mush

File: heh.jpg (48KB, 541x498px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 541x498px

>>723185772
>ASAP

>>723185772
No need , www3 is on its way , we're all fucked....trumps the antichrist

>>723185772
12 gauge shotgun with 3" high brass 00 buckshot shell in it
Put it in my mouth, angle it back slightly so the blast goes towards the center of my brain where all of the basic vitals are controlled
Death would be swift and I probably wouldn't have enough time to feel it

File: 1485778493805.jpg (215KB, 1264x1460px) Image search: [Google]

215KB, 1264x1460px

>>723185772
Easy,
Swallow a bullet.

File: sad girl.jpg (65KB, 500x333px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 500x333px

>>723185772
>>723185896
Plastic bag and helium. I think it might be easier for me to find a tank of helium in party supplies. Also, the irony of purchasing the softly hissing tank of death amid shelves of festive items appeals to my feeling of alienation.

>>723187378
>swallows bullet
>dosent die
>rips his anus up because he shit led
>wont even die of infection

>>723185772
Manually detonate a one thousand megaton nuke in central London or New York rush hour.

>>723188066
I will shot my self in the head with a guy.

>Change it now.

File: 1474147871516.jpg (17KB, 295x297px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 295x297px

>>723188175
I dare you. How boa da.

>>723188235
>tries to kill himself by giving head to guy
>guy shoots load all over your face
>your genious plan didnt work
>mfw you got lip herpes

File: XD.jpg (4KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 300x168px

>>723188235

> shot my self in the head with a guy

Use the Large Hadron Collider to create a strangelet.

File: 1470526568231.jpg (35KB, 397x465px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 397x465px

>>723188428
Just noticed.
Shoot*
You win.

Live Long And Prosper, My Young Padawan

>>723188175
Sure thing Reaper

>>723185896
This or do the car exhaust thing like the in the movies. Anyone know if that works?

File: knifed.jpg (6KB, 194x259px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 194x259px

>>723185772

I'd stand in the middle of a children's park when it's busy as fuck then take out a knife violently stab myself to death over the course of several minutes.

> dem innocent little chidrens

Paint face black and run on the streets of ghetto. Cop will shoot me or a nigger doesn't matter.

>>723186929
Does anyone know if jumping off something really high kills you instantly? Or do you just lay there brain damaged for a a while in pain until you eventually die?

>>723185772
I would climb up on the stage of a major music concert and blow my brains out.

>>723185772


.45 ACP HOllowpoint with COlt 1911, a beautiful little peace of steel

>>723189168

>lay there brain damaged for a a while in pain until you eventually die

that''s death in a nutshell

>>723185772
Make a whole bunch of lsd, rig a timed release device to keep me lsd/vicoden ball high for days. Then head to a large national park and hike 4-5 hours out before turning it on.

If i live i claim spiritual journey and write a book.

>>723189168
Depends, if you jump from a 5 story building, you got a chance to die in a few min, if you're lucky, but if you jump off a 10 story building yeah, your brain would not really be able to take the fall damage, instant death.

>>723189659
Yeah but is it instant? I assume the heart continues beating for a good while after

>>723185772
I would simultanously inject N,N,DMT into my vein and an overdose of heroine. That way I can die having a very psychedelic trip.

>>723189920

I doubt you'd be conscious, regardless of heartbeat or brain damage. Depends on the height of the building.

>>723185772
With a bullet and cyanide, but only if my dreams for lebensraum for the master race have been ruined by Jewish Bolshevism just as my dream to be an artist was also crushed.

>>723185772
Carbon monoxide

>>723185772
Gunshot wound to the head, nigga.

File: 1485778257164.jpg (815KB, 1000x1333px) Image search: [Google]

815KB, 1000x1333px

>>723189168
You'd probably die from complications, due to brain damage, also depends on how fast, far and how you land.

Head first from a 30 story building would kill you.

Just jumping out of a window with legs first or whatever expect the head, you'd have a chance of being alive,

Aim with your head first, get high up and maybe some painkillers and alcohol.

>>723187027
Meh true ligaments, what are they like Hha
Just push a knife of something into your wrist
Then just pass out

I would steal a Mclaren, lead police on a high speed chase and end it by crashing into a building pedal to the floor

File: 6d128f348a63a06fb5dd92a4cda1c6cf.png (954KB, 855x600px) Image search: [Google]

954KB, 855x600px

Sell my car and use the money to buy a really fast motorcycle

Then just go out on a country road and try to go 200 mph until I crash and die.

First I would become popular kid streamer and after 1k viewers I would shoot my brains live to scar them.

>>723189920
Your heart might be beating but the most important thing in your body, your brain would be fucked beyond repair, heart can beat all you want, your brain controls all of your feelings and whatsoever.

And if your heart would beat it would be for 2 min max, i doubt that you would be able to live with all that blood loss coming from a 20-35 story building.

Try if my theory works.
Tell us all about it after you are done.

I elect to put on a superman costume, take every drug known to man and jump out of a plane without a parachute. Best case scenario: Become a god. Worst case: Die.

I would try and kill myself by crashing my liver, so i could have a nice time with my loved ones.

My dogs.

Hanging. It's a 100% sure-fire way of killing yourself. If you don't die from the drop, you'll die from the asphyxiation. A gun might just knock you out. Poison will give you a painful death. Hanging will make sure you only suffer for a few minutes.

>>723189168
As most other anons said, you mostly just lie there brain damaged. The thing is, the worst part is before you hit the ground. Your brain realises what's happening and will likely release a shit load of drugs, including adrenaline which will increase your heart rate. The actual fear of what is going to happen will further increase your heart rate, and may lead to cardiac arrest before you ever hit the ground. Depending on how high, you may be totally unconscious before you even touch the ground. That aside, when you actually crash into the ground, assuming it's feet-first, your spine may snap causing instant paralysis, as well as everything below your waist being shoved above your waist ruptering all of those organs simultaneously. Regardless of what happens, death is usually never instantaneous. Most people observe the initial "flop" and assume they're dead. That would just be the brain losing connection with the nerves and muscles of the body. Assuming you hit the ground without losing consciousness, you could possibly be conscious for about ten seconds before fading out. When I say conscious, I don't mean in the usual sense. You'll likely be so high on your own body's painkillers that you won't realise what is going on. Then, after that, you pass out and at that point you are declared clinically dead. However, your brain will remain active for about five to seven minutes before you are truly dead. Enjoy death. It's a wild ride.

>>723191241
And what's that compared to a lifetime of pain? Nothing.

School shooting

>>723191241
You type as if hanging yourself is easy,
Your body would go into survival mode, and do whatever it can to stay alive. I hope you know that you pass out before you die, i hope you know that.

File: 1485776802342.jpg (416KB, 460x4475px) Image search: [Google]

416KB, 460x4475px

>>723191386
Following the American Dream I see.

>>723191241
shotgun in the mouth pointed up towards the base of your skull is absolutely 100% sure way to kill yourself

I'd play tic tac toe on a ashy nigger, thats a death sentence right there.

>>723185772
Shot in the head.

File: 16358706_1172970859439353_1030000785_n.jpg (84KB, 960x912px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 960x912px

http://cheesespin.net/
you can find a lot more here

File: 1480107363482.jpg (199KB, 922x864px) Image search: [Google]

199KB, 922x864px

i want to die, best advice please.

>>723191680
People have failed that method though.

>>723191915
Well not everyone is retarded.

>>723191455
But it wouldn't be able to stop what is happening.

>>723191969
But that's what I'm saying though. People have failed the shotgun method. People don't generally survive the hanging method unless someone discovers them in time though.

File: ns-4.png (820KB, 952x638px) Image search: [Google]

820KB, 952x638px

>>723186188
>>723186188

Still

It's feasible.

backflip from a cliff

File: AM3suicidecenterfold.jpg (78KB, 576x410px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 576x410px

>>723191915
Not if you point it upwards

>>723192087
You...
You are not retarded if someone catches you hanging yourself, can't blame someone that wants to get found when they are dead.

Shooting yourself in the head with a fucking shotgun and not dying, you odda be the dumbest person alive or in other words RETARDED.

You fucking ape.

>Dynamite up the ass

Preferably after contracting full blown AIDS

File: 1487203541019.jpg (4KB, 125x125px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 125x125px

>>723185917

>>723192247
This

Done correctly, shotgun to the head totally spatters your head. Just don't be a moron and do it right.

>>723192155

Yes, it is, if you're retarded and aim at your face instead of at your upper brainstem at the base of the rear of your head.

File: homealone.jpg (29KB, 660x350px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 660x350px

I would tie some piano wire around my neck and attach it to a bridge. Then I would super glue my hands to the sides of my ahead. I would jump off the bridge, the piano wire would cut through my neck and decapitate me, but my hands would hold onto my head.

Then when police found me it would look like i ripped my own head off.

>pic related, kinda how i would look but dead and decapitated.

Eating crisps until i die. I'd be a happy death.

>>723186704
>he is a fuckin sellout.
This. How does he go from calling out NWO-types/Bilderberg-ers/Goldman (Ball)Sachs/whatever you wanna cell em, to praising the man who was elected and who picked at least three NWO/GS people?

>>723192214
Why show of when you won't be there for people telling you how cool it was when John jumped of and did a back flip to his death.

Just jump, and you'll be just another one who killed them self.

>>723185772
With a gun

>>723191915
You'd fail using that method,
us normal people would be in a better place.

>>723190853
this

Insulin OD

File: 1487617582214.jpg (25KB, 480x477px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 480x477px

>>723185896
nice nitrogen gives a painless death

>>723192495
Specify.

Are you going to hit yourself to death with the gun?
Are you going to shoot yourself in the head?
Are you going to shoot yourself in the heart?

How are you going to go about killing yourself with a gun.

>>723192562
Because the people who died told you that.

Seems legit.

File: 1486776234420.jpg (23KB, 413x395px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 413x395px

>>723192439

I'd just do what kills people, well men the most,
Getting married.

>>723187743

doesn't work, they startes putting some oxygen in it long ago to prevent people from killing themselves.

>>723192469
if i wanted that i would just jump from a skyscraper and stream it.
no, the backflip is just for me.
i won't kms though

>>723188648
of course it works, just like any other method of killing yourself with gasses (helium being a popular choice)
your lungs dont give a fuck what goes into them and pumps that shit into your bloodstream. The carbon dioxide and whatever shit else comes out of an exhaust replaces the oxygen in the car, you breathe it in and eventually there's no oxygen in your blood and your brain gives up. you just fall asleep.

I'd drink my self to death. Bottle after bottle of scotch. If I'm gonna go then I'm going happy and drunk.
Already on my way as the alcoholic I am.

>>723192682
Yes. The whole point of this thread is to specify.

>>723192439
How would your hands get cut too?

>>723192972
I like how you think,
I'd probably do the same, if I ever we're to kill myself.

>>723192911
it doesn't take a genius to hook up three or four helium tanks to one mask

>>723193077
I hope you drop your sandwich butter side down.

>>723186297
almost all suicides end up hurting others too, unless the person is truly alone.

>>723192830

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2566023/

>Controlling for demographic and socioeconomic characteristics, the death rate for people who were unmarried was significantly higher than it was for those who were married and living with their spouses.

>>723193112

how would that make it any better though?

File: 1474222911580.png (382KB, 512x512px) Image search: [Google]

382KB, 512x512px

>>723185772
hang myself in space

File: john-lenin-0.jpg (1MB, 1500x2100px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1500x2100px

I would get in a boat piled with explosives, row myself out to sea and detonate. I would instantaneously die because my brain would be destroyed far more quickly than I'm able to think. My blown up body would sink into the water.

Quick, clean, painless, unselfish.

>>723192682
Yeah I want to hit myself over the head with a handgun until I die.

File: feels.jpg (21KB, 362x362px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 362x362px

>>723193253
I'd be fine then.. Unless the cops/paramedics get's traumatized by my ugly corpse..

>>723185772
cut off dick

>>723186335
but the passengers, they have to wait for the cops/ambulance and sit hours in the train

>>723193416

So...you have a boat then?

Or is your selfish ass going to steal and then blow up someone else's?

>>723185772
helium or OD on anti depressants :)

>>723193460

You'd still be fine, because you'd be dead.

>>723193266
You don't have a crazy wife that lives on your money, until she leaves you after sleeping with another guy who works at best buy. after you get her whatever she wants, car, cash, weed and brand clothes.

Now she's living on your money after getting a divorce and is after another check, where she's going to take you to court and force you there after you are trying to move on.

>>723193687
True.

>>723185772
Tallest building and jump head first.

File: 1481066251044.gif (2MB, 500x282px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 500x282px

>>723193364
this

>>723193431
Been there done that.
Trust me it dosen't work as good as you'd think.

Its like pistol whipping a blind kid, they would never see it coming until it actually happens.

File: Kill me now.png (144KB, 358x398px) Image search: [Google]

144KB, 358x398px

>>723185772

>>723193716

No.

Got my wife when she was 17. Very low millage.

11yrs and it's working out so far since I'm not a punk.

>>723192439
This is the best.

>>723185772
My grandad did shotgun to the chest, so I would probably follow family tradition

Doing an extreme sport I would enjoy.

If I have a death wish I would want my family to be taken care of.

Accidental death by doing something like drag racing pays benefits.

Hanging yourself does not.

>>723193091
Reading comprehension isn't a strong trait for you is it?

>>723192439

I've always loved that one.

>>723193769
Should eat 100 grams of shrooms first. A much smaller dose is enough to slow down time in your mind and send you into the universe.
You'd be fucking falling for a lifetime seeing shit I can't imagine.

>>723186959
your a good man anon. watch out and take care for your mom.

>>723194073
Nah, shrooms might change my mind if it doesn't melt my brain with that massive amount.

Plastic bag over head
Wanna leave a sexy corpse for my necro /b/ros

File: wooooo.jpg (25KB, 250x257px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 250x257px

>>723194205
still sounds fun.

>>723185772
Death by Snu Snu

>>723193881
I'm not an idiot as well, she cheated on me. I love her still, it seems like she hate's me.
She pretty much lost the court battle. since i got evidence of her cheating and using my money to help out someone else and buy drugs like xanax, cocaine and weed ( none leagal)

But I still dont understand why?
Why me the nicest guy alive,

I fucking help people that lives in shit countries and needs to get adopted.

Fucking fuck.

>>723194399
Anally raped by giant black dick til death?

>>723194250
We don't beat our meat to guys.

Add me on kik
HentaiSlayer4204chan.

>>723192997
The feeling of not having enough air is caused by increasing carbon dioxide in the blood as opposed to a lack of oxygen, so I think the helium might be a lil less painful/distressing

>>723194433

Because you're nice.

Now, you can choose to adapt, change, not be as nice and conform to what is expected and what will protect you the most.

Or, you can choose to see that her decisions reflect on her, not on you, and that the next person to come along might deserve your niceness, and not whatever that other bitch had coming. You can choose to take the blow, be yourself and not blame yourself for her actions.

It's never a waste, anon. Just wait it out.

>>723194433
Your double dubs mean you will be all right, anon.

She might just have gotten bored with the marriage, anon. Is your marriage exciting? Do you challenge and entice each other? Do you do things together? Importantly, do you argue together? If you do everything she says and follow all her leads, then she will no longer see you as a leader and a man who will protect her.

Those are just my opinions, anon. Seek out the truth to your strife, and right the ship, if she is worth it to you. After so many years of marriage, she sounds like she is worth it to you.

>>723193654

OD on anti depressants will fail most likely, just saying

>>723185772

http://www.hewillnotdivide.us/

http://www.hewillnotdivide.us/

http://www.hewillnotdivide.us/

http://www.hewillnotdivide.us/

File: 1472313726311.png (885KB, 905x911px) Image search: [Google]

885KB, 905x911px

>>723194823
The problem is that I want people to feel safe around me, the way I am right now makes people feel safe, happy and trusted, maybe the reason i've been in the friend zone way to long.

I still feel like i was the reason shit went south like columbus.

>>723194851

>The problem is that I want people to feel safe around me,
That's not a bad thing. You should protect yourself as well.

>I still feel like i was the reason shit went south like columbus.

Weird expression.
But it's natural to feel that way, although you need to be more objective. Aside from needing to be more assertive, it sounds like you did nothing wrong.

>>723186973
respect to you for this fucking great idea

>>723194851
I flew 5 of her friends out to Paris, just because it was her 30 birthday.

We had really fun every time, there wasn't a day where she didn't laugh at my jokes or whatever.

Feel like we learnt something new about me everyday and likewise.

I wouldn't say im a Yes man, but i do challenge her and so did she, we would disagree but always come to an agreement.

We always moved around to different places, new house, new cars and so on.
I always made it an effort to make sure everything was going great and everything felt new for the both of us.

File: 1451600687501.png (513KB, 1064x1401px) Image search: [Google]

513KB, 1064x1401px

>>723195880
Then,
I see text with some fucking guy working at best buy, earning below minimum vage,

And then leaving me and him, saying she wants a new start, fuck you Cecilia.

File: 5479a5bb7b627ad92eaa181d099c9d13e2d3666b8583c672ecd35663f0a49acf_1.jpg (65KB, 584x370px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 584x370px

write or type a letter, place in envelope, put in jacket pocket.

drive out to remote location and blow my noodles out with my 9mm
wouldn't die right away, would probably suffer for a little while.

I have a shotgun but I wouldn't want it to be too traumatizing for whoever finds my body.

>>723185772
jump into mincing machine at meat distribution plant for various fastfood and sausage and pie companies. This would be recorded on a hidden camera that would upload to a secure cloud which would only be opened and viewed as part of my will. then all the news networks would report on it and no one would know if they ate my beef or not. fuck em fatties

drip of pure liquid lsd

>>723186973
Not a bad idea. A month ago I got super trashed and went to smoke outside while my wife slept. Was out there for about 15-20 minutes before I started to not shiver any more and get super sleepy.
Realized what was happening and took my drunk ass back inside.

>>723185772
>join isis
>have plenty of jihadi bros
>have new reason to live
>die a martyr
>go to heaven

>>723185917
do this but little tiny bounceing ball in backpack

>>723185772
smoking and eating extra hearty food.
because artery kill = style points. lol

>>723196870
you are a good one

File: 1484696182819.gif (1MB, 320x180px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 320x180px

Allah snackbar

I'd put some Wu Tang clan on smoke my last bowl on top of a mountain and pull the trigger of a revolver mountains always brought me happiness so the last thing I see should make me happy right?

Thought this would turn on a rekt thread

>>723194433
Look Jim, Linda is gone and you are gonna keep paying out the ass till you die. Get over it.

Honestly some C4 would be a nice way to go out.
By some i mean a lot.

>>723194433
Look Jim, Linda is gone forever. You are gonna pay out the ass till you die. By the way, she can really deepthroat. Get over yourself and keep sending the checks.

File: charlie1.jpg (19KB, 320x314px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 320x314px

Im already on that path i just abuse shit on a daily basis.

>>723193633
Buy one? Not like I'd need the money

Dying of hypotermia, that's pretty nice