ITT We work in an office.

Chad?
Hey, it's Nolan from Accounting.
Was wondering if you could email me the numbers from last quarter?
HR's up my ass about last year's sales, so I'm working on a projection chart for 2017-2018.
Thanks, lunch is on me.

>>723173406
I'm making teas. Anybody want one?

>>723173550

No Nolan, not until you return my pen. The one with the red grip. I know you took it when I was chatting to Lucy on break.

Who the fuck stole my sandwich again? Next time, I am gonna cum in it.

Where ist the toilet? Im the new

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>>723173668
Oh shit my b.
Here ya go mate.

>>723173757
I hope you do - Gay guy that stole your sandwich

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>>723173406
>starts beating up my cubical
>I've had it with this fucken job

>>723173406
>steals family photos from other people's cubicles
>pins them up in mine

>>723173804
Through the bosses room there lispy, just ask him every time you have to go.

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*says nothing...ever*

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I need those documents no later than 3pm....got it Marty.

>>723173668
Fucking Nolan again asking shit, i cant stand that fucker, i swear to god on next tb im gonna make it look li... oooo hy Nolan, sup mate, how is going?

>>723173550
>>723173668
Guys, dafuq, Lucy was fired months ago

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Guys, how do you like muh new chair?

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>>723173865
>Can't tell if it's a monkey in the office or not
>eyyy jeff defaq is going on here

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What time are we doing the mandatory health walk around the building so we can go home and say we "worked out"?

>>723174018
It fits you perfectly bob.

>>723173936
Boss... I-I am Julius. You fired marty....

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>>723173936
Th-those doc-documents where you wanted me to type "I hate them pouring chemicals into the water that turns the frogs gay?

Ye-yes, sure. Right away.

I swear to god if one of you fucker's steals my lunch out of the break room fridge one more fucking time I am going to light this place on fire with all of you locked inside

Can someone PLEASE stop that GOD DAMNED TAPPING!!

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>>723174169

>>723174315
Calm down Nathan, nobody wants your stank ass roast beef sammy.

>>723174315
Calm down, David. No one's stealing your lunch. We all know you're just finding an excuse to throw out your wife's home cooked lunch.

But seriously, who the FUCK keeps taking all the black dry-erase markers, guys? You got to return them to the supply room when you're done.

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>>723173929
Gloria, I think there is something wrong with the Asian guy in cubicle 6. Should we contact HR?

>>723174315
Calm down George, eat a Snicker

Someone call janitorial, some nigger shit in the urinal. That's the third time this month.

WHO THE FUCK BROKE THE FUCKING PRINTER AGAIN???

>>723174459
>>723174522
>>723174615
>Nathan
>David
>George
My name is Richard assholes

>>723174667
Probably the same nigger who shit in the urinal

>>723174738
Shut up meg

"I fucking hate this job, I hate these people, I hate my Honda Civic, when will it end?"....."why can't I lose any weight?"

>>723174667
PC load letter? What the FUCK does that mean?

anyone seen my stapler?

>>723174667
IT here have you tried turning it off and then back on yet?

>>723174738
Got it Bruce. Now get back to fucking work morron.

When interdepartmental agencies in differing agencies within the agency, cannot be dealt with without effecting the whole it would be counterintuitive to the over dynamic too be a little bit more accommodating to the overall contract incorporated into the overall parameters contended in the contractual agreement. And to all parties in the contract. Because when dealings are effected and they sequence worse than for the bottom line of all parties those policies aren’t contingent with the mission statement. So thanks but no thanks I don’t want the position honorary lady coach although also thank you in advance I would also say thank you again for your considerate consideration for such a noble post and or position, truly.

Sincerely best regards

Esscuse me neutered white males and sexually frustrated white womenz. Where do I deliver dis package?

>>723174900
Instructions not clear, got dick caught in a fan.

*farts loudly in open cubicle*

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>>723175045

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THATS IT!!!
CHAD, NOLAN, MARTY, JEFF, JULIUS, NATHAN, DAVID, GLORIA, GEORGE, YOU'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD!!

>>723175025
There is always an asian guy who better...

>>723173945
Heeeeyyyy Craig.
What's new?

>>723175087
Marty has been fired already, you should have notice it Larry...

Why is this office such a sausage fest

>>723175087
God damn Larry! Marty will never come back here, just get it pls!

>>723175087
Look, Steve, I get it.
You're still mad about the whole "wife leaving you for Craig" thing.
Ya gotta work past it man.
Speaking of work, you're gonna have to stay late tonight.
Those annuals aren't gonna map themselves!

>>723175231
Who are you calling a sausage Lucas?!

>>723175231
>Wanting diversity in the work place

Men get the job done faggot

>>723175056
We will send a specialist up
Someone should be there between the hours of 3 pm and 8:47 am

>>723175231
Heyyyy look everyone, Jimmy still talking about sausage again. You don't remember what happened last Christmas party? Uh?

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>>723175045
Slow down there friend, you have to check in first.
Im Tim from security.
Sign your name here, make and model of car, and brief description of the package.

okay who the fuck on the night shift keeps leaving gatorade bottles filled with piss in my cubicle?

>>723175349
Alright, thank you very much, sir.

>>723175087
What did I do?

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>>723173406

Heeeeey everybody, I am Tom and this is my first day. I'll just start off with putting up my family portrait.

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>>723175688

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Monsieur Hulot?
MONSIEUR HULOT?

>>723175722
I think your dog is fucking your wife bruh.

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>>723175722

>>723175688
Hi Tom, is your wife "open minded"? Is that your daughter? She looks fantastic, do you bring them some time? I would like to meet em. *Returns to cubicle fapping*

>>723175750
Oui? Que puis-je faire pour vous?

>>723173406
Okay, this is Ali from janitorial staff, and I'd just like to notify management, that THERE'S A DEAD BODY IN THE SERVICE TUNNELS AND BY ALLAH I'M NOT CLEANING THAT SHIT UP!

>>723176173

Dave, you so mad you forgot to English

>>723176298
Sorry Frank, I think I miss my kids since my whore wife got away with Bob.

Anybody seen Marty lately?

>>723175087
i-if this is about that sandwich i "borrowed" from the fridge, i-i'm sorry i'll get you a new one tomorrow.

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>>723173406
ok... which one of you faggots farted

>>723175349
you mother fucker. you probably work in IT irl right?

My first day here! Where is my cubicle?

>>723177901
Next to the fat black lady that smells like months old frying oil

Chad made microwave fish sticks in the break room. Someone light a match.

>>723177901
Yeah just next to the nigger!

who burned the fucking microwave popcorn?

>>723175722
The look on the dogs face says it all.

>>723177971
ah well done Pet, its everytime with you! Thats Mikes wife, and you know she has a eating disorder! And for gods sake, stop looking at my monitor!

>>723178204
That was that spic in sales, ahmed, I think

>>723178204
That would be me I was trying to microwave a watermelon

Which one of you assholes switched my dry erase marker with a permanent marker?

>>723178761
Still more funny that Gary having his stapler put in jello.

>>723174738
Nobody touch Richard Assholes' sandwich.

>>723178956
I know right, that fucking sitcom ruined our lives.

>>723173406
* masterbating in the bathroom*

Wifi's fucking up again. No one get up to reset the router. I'll do it again while you sit around bitching about it.

Guys, in case you didn't get my memo, we are having a small party for karen next week, her dog just got hit by a bike. It is ok, but Karen is really taking it tough, so make sure you are extra nice.

Also, to whoever keeps microwaving watermelons, can you please fucking stop or i'll rip your dick of and shove it up karen's limping dogs asshole.

>>723179409
Karen owes me a new bike.

>>723173406
Marketing's catering jimmy johns at 11, just thought everyone should know

>>723179596
I told you not to swerve into the dog, bill. Did you get the fur out of the spokes?

Who's got a fat cock around here?

>>723179767
Karen has one

>>723174865
I saw Tim take that last week. Think he gave it to someone else.

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*BEEP BEEEP* An announcement to all personnel: the lift to Gate B has been locked down to insure the safety of the upper areas of the facility.. Please remember to stay inside the evacuation shelters until the facility has been secured. *TSST*

>>723174307
Hey Alice, nice shoes, u get those last weekend?

>>723179840
What's Karen's number?

>>723179947
Ah shit guys
Its 9/12

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>>723179029
It is pronounced Ahs-hoe-lays, guys

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This and everyone into the conference room for every sort of sensitivity training you can think of

>>723173550 Nolan, it's patty from HR, says she didn't get that fax number again. line 3

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Where is the IT guy ?

>>723180202
AM HERE TO HELP
AMM PEE ON

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>>723180130
*BeEp* *BEeEp* We would like to advise all surviving personnel once again: do not attempt to reach the exits. Either find a safe area or go into one of the many evacuation shelters inside the facility... *TSST*

>>723179947
>>723180130
*jumps from window*

>>723180202
IT guy here
Seems like you played Because the Internet here

>>723175943
So that's where jim went when he said he was going on vacation.

>>723180400
zing

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>>723180130
Incoming !

>>723179947
>>723180277
wtf? i am gonna miss the football game for this shit?

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEHHHH.... WHERE DAFAK IS BILLY???? OOOOOOOOY

>>723180277
>>723180301
Is jim playing with the intercom again?

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*BREEP BREEEP* Control to Nine-Tailed Fox, Tesla gate disabled. *BLEP BLEP*

has anyone seen my table grill ?

Have you seen Ted? I heard he got promoted to the corner office! He's such a great guy.

Herro amerika.

Gary... who's gary?
And when is John back from vacation?

I need these papers by Monday!

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Okay guys, this is getting out of hand. Please everyone return to your cubicles and we'll discuss this in the 16:00 meeting. Except you Gary, come to my office please.

>>723180743
I fucking hate Ted

>>723180448
ZINGER

>>723179947
>>723180277
>>723180622
Ivan i swear to god, if i find you i will убить тебя, сука блять!

>>723180869
Sorry Paul but Gary is not here, this is his twin sister

>>723180743
Ted? I thought Larry was the one who was promoted. I never really cared for him, i think he's jewish

>>723180869
Who the fuck are you and how did you get in the building?

>>723181028
I blowjobed the security guards

I'm eating my lunch at my desk today and I don't care what the PM says, it's a salad there's no eggs or mayo it doesn't smell like Johns disgusting home cooked lunch boxes.

>>723181028
This the new "specialtard" guy we hired some days ago. Be nice with him.

it's nearly the end of feburary, when the fuck are we doing our annual reviews for 2016? i want my christmas bonus and raise already! (i work from home but we always have this shit in march, it's so gay)

>>723181083
I knew it

>>723180987
Fucking Gary... Okey i guess you'll do. Listen, HR is on my ass because of how is it that everyday things go out of control here, so i'm going to need you to try and keep things quiet around here. Can i trust you with that? Great.
Oh and be mindfull of Larry, i think he is jewish.

>>723180838
Calm the fuck down Tom, John will be back soon.

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My Printer is dead, what's IT's number again?

>>723181152
My lunch DOES NOT SMELL BAD. Say this one more time and I'll make you eat your retard salad like you never have before.

Where the fuck, is my prosthetic leg ?!?

>>723177522
not me
>>723175067

Hey guys, have you heard the rumor? Aparently Larry is jewish! That would explain why are all my quarters missing, i knew he- oh shit there he is!

>>723181166
Is he the one with the tendies in the fridge?

" WHO PUT HIS DICK IN COPY MACHINE ? "

>>723181429
Is it circumcised? If it is it's probably Larry.

>>723181418
We let him do "his things" as long as he stay quiet about it

>>723180202
call the help desk.. oh wait, it's an indian holiday, you're sol

>>723181508
we may aswell call him Radical Larry by this point, i mean, i've seen the dude literally go through a wall once

>>723181381
Oh hi, i´m glad to meet you.I hope we can work together in the future

>>723181206
Sure Irvine, I'll make him a sammich right away. BTW, do you like me dress today?

>>723181582
I bet he went in nose first

>>723181083
Tim from security here, can confirm, blowjob was issued at 08:34.

>>723181703
I told many times that you can't bring a KKK Gorilla suit to work, it's not appropiate Lucy.

Announcement!

Our firm has now undergone it's 37th corporate buy-out and our new owner has prepared for this painting to be presented in the MAIN HALL on WEDNESDAY.
The new owner will not be present but as the press will be there I expect a good turn out.

That includes you Cindy.

Have a good week,
Jim McHarris | Events

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>>723181754
yeah, i mean, fuck it's not ev- OH GOD WHAT IS THAT

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>>723181835
Attachment

>>723181595
Heeey Larry, nice to meet jew too! I MEAN YOU! Sorry, i have a tooth ache hehe.

>>723173406
thats GREAAAAAT

Did everyone sign Sheri's bday card?

>>723181850
What the fuck are you looking-
Are you on "b chan" or whatever the fuck you got a warning for last week?

>>723181850
That's Larry

>>723181193
You strike me as a homophobic individual. Please don't use words such as "gay" in negative way or I'll report you.

>>723181819
B, B, But Harambe wanted me to wear it everyday. Have you got no feelings at all? I'm going straight to HR reporting this.

>>723181999
Whos sheri?

Hey guys I'm here for the intership... I'm looking for the HR's office. Can someone help me out ?

>>723182116
The Toilet attendant

>>723182084
Jesus christ, not again. LUCY, HARAMBE IS DEAD! DEAL WITH IT GOD DAMMIT! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME CALL LARRY THE JEW!

>>723182049
No, this is Gary from account dept.

>>723182116
Terri's twin sister

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>>723182184
Just take the elevator

>>723182258
HES JEWISH?!

>>723182258
Hey Gary, Paul was looking for you. Apparently your twin sister Lucy is causing some ruckus.

Hey guys I'm Apu and I'm here for the intership, it's my first day... I-I-I really need help... I'm not even sure it's the right floor. Common'

Hey who wants to smoke this j with me outside?

>>723182306
How many fucking twins do we have in the office?

>>723182492
Lets go nigga

>>723182492
On my Way

>>723182369
SHHH! Be quiet! He'll sniff out your credit score!

>>723173668
can't get you your pen unless you're ok removing it from my pooper

>>723182442
hi apu, come with me to the annex I'll show you the ropes

>>723182244
You're so ruuuude with me all the time. I believe in Harambe's heart and Gerry told me it was ok. Do not start this Atheist shit again. Beth told me about your STD and I'm not yelling out loud YOU HAVE AN STD. See?

>>723182613
is it ok if i use my mouth

>>723182655
Psst, look at that, another foreign intern. I starting to think that this company hates America and it's workers. Unbelievable

>>723182442
*Pässing by, making no eye contact*

>>723182719
You know what? You are fucking fired Lucy! FIRED! I know i should have stayed with your brother. Fucking Gary.

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Hey Guys,you should consider taking a look out the window

Oh shit. Whatever became of the promise of the paperless office?

>>723182961
I blame the new intern
"Apu" or whatever his fucking sand ass name is

>>723182961
Whew, i am glad i parked my 1964 Chevy 1869 Impala in the underground CEO garage

>>723182961
Stop messing around and get back to work.

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>>723182950
FUCK YOU! You can't fire me! I'M LEAVING! *Kicks him in the nuts"

-KAREN? KAREN? KAREN WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
*Find Karen*
-I'M FUCKING LEAVING THIS SHITHOUSE!!! YOU LEAVE WITH ME!?
*Karen looks at her*
-Well, no.

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
*She leaves hysterically*

>>723173406
Aight who of you fuckers farted into the AC system?

>>723183977
Again
I blame Apu

>>723182442
*Pässing by, making no eye contact*

>>723182719
You know what? You are fucking fired Lucy! FIRED! I know i should have stayed with your brother. Fucking Gary.

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Hey Guys,you should consider taking a look out the window

Oh shit. Whatever became of the promise of the paperless office?

>>723182961
I blame the new intern
"Apu" or whatever his fucking sand ass name is

>>723182961
Whew, i am glad i parked my 1964 Chevy 1869 Impala in the underground CEO garage

>>723182961
Stop messing around and get back to work.

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>>723182950
FUCK YOU! You can't fire me! I'M LEAVING! *Kicks him in the nuts"

-KAREN? KAREN? KAREN WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
*Find Karen*
-I'M FUCKING LEAVING THIS SHITHOUSE!!! YOU LEAVE WITH ME!?
*Karen looks at her*
-Well, no.

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
*She leaves hysterically*

>>723173406
Aight who of you fuckers farted into the AC system?

>>723183977
Again
I blame Apu

>>723180731 joe had it last for the company picnic meeting.

>>723182655
Ay thx pal, you're the man !

Shana, where are those reports I asked your fat ass 2 weeks ago?

>>723173406
I shat in the cofee machine two weeks ago and nobody has noticed

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Oh shit, guys!
GUYS!
Corporate is coming!
They are down the hall making a bee-line straight for here!
Look like you're busy!

Where the fuck is Marty?! He's the one with last quarter's report!

>>723186507
Shana, you're way too fat to get up on the fuckin coffee machine. Now can you JUST make those DAMN reports so I can leave? And pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease stop eating powdered donutz on your desk.

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>>723186884
real funny Jerry, did you put your fucking coffee mug on my document again?

>>723186507
No wonder the coffee tasted more nutty than usual...and that mystery piece of corn.

>>723186884
Bill did not told you? Marty jumped straight out of the 13rd floor. I think he went with the report too.

>>723178705
>>723178761
Ahmed this is the last time ima tell you, YOU DONT FUCKING MICROWAVE MY MELONS YOU SKUNK

>>723186981
Wasn't me, Johnathan!
But you know Marty is always drinking coffee and reading documents at the same time.
Fucking Marty, man.

Oh shit! Corporate is here!

>>723186507
>>723187011
I like my coffee with a hint of nut actually.
Shana, any chance you could keep that up for me?

>>723187045
Please step away from the kitchen knife or ima call the gay security guy again.

>>723187041
Oh we are so fucked

>>723187186
Crap, where's my fucking stapler?!

SVETLANA, WHERE THE FUCKS MY STAPLER, YOU WHORE

Anyone got any post it's? I ran out.

>>723187186
JESUS CHRIST. HOW MANY TIMES WILL I HAVE TO TELL YOU THERE IS ONLY ONE H IN MY NAME!!! Go back to school faggot.

>>723173406
So who wants some coffe, havent drinked my morning coffe today.

Hi I'm Frank, the new lawyer, i'm here to help you to cover u...I mean, to solve every legal problem.

>>723183153
Apu? I thought his name was Jose.

>>723187291
>>723187269
Svetlana is the one you want to see for furniture.

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/b/!
You guys ready for your presentation?
You better be!

Where is Marty?
Jerry?
Steven & Richard?

You group of chimps in suits better deliver something of note!

>>723187375
Sure, without milk or sugar but with Shana please.
Thanks.

>>723187196
indian ahmed imigrant stealin my melons nd ruining them, gay people trying to keep order im ou YOULL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh

>>723187505
That Ukrainian whore...

>>723187624
Oh, FUCK

>>723187328
Relax johnatan

>>723187624
Uh, hi Mr.Becker!
W-we were not expecting you until after lunch!
Hh-how ww-was your flight from Gg-Germany?

>>723187417
"If" "somebody" has "accidentally" "slept" with a "colleague" while she was "maybe" "too drunk" to say "no". "If" "that" person would need "help", could "I", uh "he" use your services?

I'm just "asking".

>>723187624
Didn't you got the memo? Marty is not "with us" anymore.

>>723188041
Hey sorry i am late, i was stuck inside of the coffee machine the whole friggin' month, i usually keep my hundies inside my tie, but then it got caught into the machine itself and well.. the rest is history...

>>723187765
Gary? Call Larry, we have a 10-43 here.

Benoit please stay calm, we gonna help you with this.

*HR guy*
We're here to help.

CAN SOMEBODY CALL 911 DAMMIT

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>>723187948
>>723187633
>>723187842
>>723187328

Are you retards ready or not?
I have another meeting in an hour and I schver to Gott if I have to rush to that meeting, every step I take is 100 dollars out of your pay checks.

If I run late? You all better have a lot of savings to survive until your next job.

>>723187417
Frank, you're coming along with me today.
Need you to review a few papers. And don't wear a bowtie to work again. The office didn't know you were gay until you walked in like that.

Yo, Larry
Ye?
Inspection's coming you should clean up your desk
Ow shit, are you sure?
Y, quite sure I heard the boss being in a fit about it because he didn't hear about it beforehand
FUCK
*Hear scrambling of papers and shit*
Larry?
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
Larry? WTF you doing?
You don't want to know man
Coffee?
Ye, sure

Nobody will ever know what Larry was doing.

>>723188375
S-Sir?! Talking about pay. My last pay check bounced and my wife will give birth anywhere this week. Can I get a new check and take my week off?

>>723188041
He's vat?!

Any other surprises you people want to give me before I find replacements for all of you?!

God fucking damn it!

>>723188296
You're fired. Get out.

>>723188375
fuck you old man! I quit! and i've been fucking your wife!

>>723188703
>>723188375
Don't listen to him boss! We all know he's gay.

>>723188862
that's why i only ever fucker her in the ass!

>>723188661
It did vat?!

Who the hell is in charge of accounting in this rat's nest?
How did you idiots manage to bungle this?
Now this guy is up in tangles that his wife is about to pop out another man's kid!

Charles, right?
I'll look into it. Like your wife apparently did with that last glory hole.

Where is Jerry? Steven? Richard?
Let's get this shit-show rolling!

>>723188941

Svetlana, I told you he was gay. I TOLD YOU.

>>723188702
Shana crapped in the coffee machine.
Gary is gay
Benoit suffers a bad depression
Carol is psychotic
Bill and Jared smokes weed in stairs
JonHatHan have angry management issues
Bob is nowhere to be found since the last party
IT guy is a jerk

>>723188703
Vife?
I don't have a wife, Mr.Unemployed-soon-to-be-found-dead-in-a-ditch.

I'm rich! I change women like I change employees.
Very >>frequently<<

>>723188988

Hey! Jerry here, got a flat tire and took me 20 minutes to replace it. Yes, I know I got it on our parking-lot but I just had to fix it.

File: trump2.jpg (52KB, 960x540px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 960x540px

>>723189134
Finally someone that is somewhat in tune to the vorld around him!

Vat's your name, son?

Know vat? Doesn't matter. You've been promoted.

Now, are you ready for the presentation?

*Whispering*
Kim?! Does the boss knows you fuck with his son?

-You better shut the fuck up Carol.

>>723189304
Zen get your ass in hier and start the presentation before we all die.

I need numbers, Jerry! I didn't fly all zee bay hier from Germany for the pleasantry of your company.
So let's go!

>>723189496
Yes Sir, my name is David and I'm just the office's snitch.

Presentations have no secrets for me. I-I can presentate everything you want.

*All office at once*
- FUCK YOU DAVID.

>>723189723

No problem sir.
*puts on projector*

>Misplaced hentai pictures in the folder where the Powerpoint file is in.

Well, I guess everybody needs a distraction now and then. So, David please elaborate: what were the precise net earnings of the three last months?

Farts into airzooka and shoots it into next cubicle.

>>723189254
then who did I fuck? oh, maybe it was your son.

>>723190215
The last three months earnings were rising by 35%. The l-last... Wait a sec, What is this? OH MY LORD...

I read the numbers upside down, God damn you Marty!!! I hope you and your report fry in Hell by now!

>>723190457

Gary stop, he's going to get you in court for this. You're smothering his name, he's got buck you got male butts to fuck... It doesn't compete man. Back off, go before you say more dumb shit.

>>723190457
Kim is fucking him too!

-SHUT UP CAROL!

>>723190571

Sir, please don't judge David. We've had severe problems with Marty in the past few weeks. I know, this is a professional environment on 4chan but sometimes things just... Go wrong. I'll address Marty about this. So, please, David: Continue.

Cheesespin.net is for you motherfucker!

>>723190674
oh, well, Kim, you might wanna go get tested... peace! I'm out!!

>>723190805
May I remember you "mister I-do-meth-only-on-weekends" that Marty jump off the window last week?

>>723187041

Bet you can't remember "everything"...

So, the numbers for this quarter...

>>723190858
See? I told you he wasn't that clean...

-CAROL IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD...

>Kind regards,