Tell me a bedtime story /b/

File: eizcrem.jpg (53KB, 426x600px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 426x600px

>be me
>on /b
>gay as hell
>jus wanna see sum gay shit
>see dis bitch ass normie loser asking for a story
>heres a story
>go fucking die faggot

9/11 was not an inside job

>>723034458
gd stroy

once upon a time, OP started a thread. The thread was well thought out with a well-intended message. However, no anons came to the tread as there was still a new trap/fb fap/dick rate/furry/face rate thread. OP began to get very sad. Soon though, an anon decided to break away from the monotony and decided to help OP out and give him a bump and a reply, which only drew more anons to the thread. Soon, OP's thread was bustling and the anons were happy, and everyone 404ed happily ever after. The end.
Night OP, sweet dreams.

You were a mistake.

>used to move meth in outer Vegas
>never did meth
>never partied
>never drank
>am almost wizard
>mongols are pretty nice guys

File: maxresdefault.jpg (165KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

165KB, 1280x720px

Go watch this entire series and reflect on the deepest story you've every had the pleasure to endure.

gib story plis

File: jmfhJDi.gif (607KB, 800x792px) Image search: [Google]

607KB, 800x792px

>am loser
>have no will to carry on
>can't even get a bitch
>thinking of killing myself
>decide i should just party the fuck out first, in case i change my mind
>make tons of new friends but can't get a bitch, too ugly
>some old lady in the corner of the tavern tells me to come to her
>fuck it, haven't had pussy in years
>she shows me an apple
>"eat this apple", she says, "and you will get rid of all the problems you have with girls"
>fuck it she's crazy but so am I
>the apple takes effect immediately
>i try not to fall but the pain is unimaginable
>my dick falls off
>mfw no problems with girls anymore

>>723035208
haha is this legitimately worth the watch??

>>723035182
how did u not get stabbed?

>>723034072
i'm a hairy wizard
dubly

>just dumped by girlfriend
>says she's tired of trying to deal with my awkwardness, among other things
>go home
>realize ive been a passive, beta autist my whole life
>realize this is why i've only ever had one friend, who killed himself
>feeling like total shit, decide to try to throwback to simpler times
>post on 4chan
>ask for a bedtime story
>mfw

>>723037568
bro fuck women i started talking to a girl and as soon as we started getting closer she realized how retarded socially i am and stopped talking to me
she now gets used by a lot of men

There was once a nigger in a barn. He worked the best he could for his master. He tried fleeing the barn hoping to find pussy. He got caught by master and got 10 whips to the back. The End

>>723037161
Literally never spoke to anyone take stuff from point a to point a to point be. I didn't even take my helmet off.