My girlfriend says I don't put her needs first when I always

>>722929825
No

>>722929825
ditch the bitch

>>722929825
You tell her that ger immidiate desires are not her needs and fuck her off for offending you

Slap her face and slap her ass and tell her she can fuck off or start sucking your cock for being a cunt

That seems to be the trend towards the end of long term relationships. I had am 8 year relationship end a few weeks ago. It sucks, but such is life.

All of my relationships have ended with "me not showing enough attention" or along those lines. I'm a busy guy. I have goals and am always doing my own shit. Maybe relationships aren't meant for me. Only 24 btw.

>>722930209
We have only been seeing each other for a few months. I can't imagine how much a person would change throughout an 8 year relationship.

Ditch her. This is the start of a never ending drama, it will get worse. After you dump her she will realize how good you were. Get rid of her while you still can.

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>>722929825
meh...cant relate 100%. Although I have been in this situation before some what. Can you give us a few examples of when this comes up? Need more to work with...

>>722930390
How do you think I should do it? Should I explain myself or my concerns with future problems with her? Or just end it. I need my space and she understands that.. but it's just coming out that she has a problem with how much I'm asking for. We see each other 2-3 times per week

>>722930462
Yeah sure. This comes up when we don't see each other or when i kinda do my own thing. She gets upset about me not wanting to hang out with her or be with her. That's not my intention, I just like to do my own thing and not have to feel like I need to entertain her, which is something she needs because she comes from a pretty broken home. She has very bad anxiety and I am trying to help the best I can, but when I'm around her too much, I get overwhelmed and tell her I need a few days to myself... to which these conversations come up

>>722930462
>>722930680


Also, I take her out, get drinks with her, and do other things while sacrificing my time with friends or better yet - getting work done. She says she doesn't take me for granted, but then she says I'm somehow putting her needs second

>>722929825
>I don't put her needs first

lol wtf its not your life to live. fuck the bitch. all women these days want is control of everyone and everything. they think we should all cater to them. most of them dont understand how a mutual relationship even works anymore. they just want a boy toy to tote around like a purse.

>>722930289
shes saying this shit a few months in, its not gonna work. just ejecto seato cuz or fuck her till she finally leaves. you shouldnt be having these kinds of problems this early into a relationship. so many red flags here

>>722930390
exactly what he said.

>>722930209
Same here, except 5 years duration and it ended two days ago. Really hurts, but it will get better. Love alone isn't enough for a relationship. I hope, my ex will find a guy who understands her better. I need some time without a gf or a fuckbuddy. I need to recover for a while.

>>722929825
>My girlfriend says I don't put her needs first

Why would you put anyone's needs above yours?

>>722930846
OP here, I took a year to recover from a relationship. Best time I've ever had and I miss the feeling of no "ball or chain".. but during that time I missed the feeling of caring about someone so deeply.

>>722930815
I hear you man. I don't know why girls want to act like this and I'm not sure if she realizes I will actually break up with her over petty shit that she brings up

>>722930998
Because I don't have many needs. I need my time alone, need to make money, and need to have time with my buddies. I try and balance out her needs with mine but like said above, end up getting overwhelmed with her and then need some consecutive time.

>>722929825
Have you tried putting her needs first?

>>722929825
Bitches are just egotistical, my man. Had a girlfriend too who nagged me all the time that I didn't put her needs first, despite me buying her the things I could afford (not cheap, mind you) and taking her places. Women are just like that - egotistical and insatiable. Ditch her and move on.

>>722931130 see
>>722931112

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>>722930680
>>722930502
Right op....again...cant totally relate but i cant in some ways. I'll just tell you my situation and you can gather information. my first "real" gf of 2 years....that wasnt just about sex..we actually were friends and did stuff together...then i get a decent job with more hours...which makes me super happy, not only because i enjoy my job I also have more money to pay bills...which actually buys happiness/stress relief. We see each other less. It bugs her. Fighting happens....i center myself and think about it all....the big picture and the small picture. I told her how much my job means to me and my own life and how much she means to me. She seems cool at first, then the nagging starts again. I feel you on the needing to do my own thing....after working all day i need a little time to myself...thats all..just a bit. She understood, then didnt....it was psychotic. Then the insane accusations of cheating and doing this or that came up constently, which...i will say i did none of but i think she got fucked in the head majorly by a ex she dated for 8 years in a row that was super shitty to her. idk man...i could talk all day about all this

>>722930846
a relationship requires Love, Respect, and Empathy. Most women i encounter on a day to day basis lack at least 2 of these things. I mean, most humans do in general, but it predominantly shows in women since theyre in relationships alot more than men

For example, with most women these days, its always 'what can you do for me' and not 'how can i help you out to make things better for you' when you're down.


>>722931030
she will keep going through life till she finds a bitch boy to put up with her shit, or a guy shes so head over heels for, that she lets him tell her what to do and treats her like shit, but she doesnt care cuz hes perfect in her eyes

>>722931148
Sorry to hear you spent a shit ton on her. I haven't done that.. definitely learned from the past.

Should I just ignore her until she decides to leave?

>>722930998
hail satan

>>722931253

ive ghosted a few girls like that. it works and youre pretty much guilt free if you push them out of site out of mind lolol. for reals though, either train the bitch if you like her, or try to train her till she gets pissed and leaves on her own. either way you win

Im also in a similier situation. Currently ive moved into the spare room away from my gf of 5 years with all my vidya and fun shit that she constantly wanted to sell and bitched about when i bought. She reckoned i wasnt there "emotionally". Like wateva the fuck that means. I work full time and shes on centrelink (welfare in aus). Ive her countless things, paid for bali holiday, car services, tattoos u name it. Now sitting in my room by myself with all my childhood memories and rhe freedom to spend my money how i wish i never wanna go back to her. She s currently doing her best to hint she wants me back like playing all the songs we listen too and offering food and winking at me. She does this everytime though when she sees im perfectly happy. Will keep updated.

Honestly let's cut through the banter and discussion;

If this was an irl conversation I'd say yeah she's just being a woman. This being 4chan though I'd say you're either underage or autistic and she's probably right.

>>722930846 You know, it was the most painful the first week. It still hurts, but things seem to come into perspective over time. Plus it also helps that I'm traveling a lot and also keeping busy. It's ironic though cause the bitch still creeps my shit after not saying a word to me since the beginning of this month.

>>722931488
nice dubs... and you're a sick mother fucker.

>>722931507
*cough* femnon *cough*

OP here.

>>722931178
Damn man. I wouldn't say you wasted 8 years but spending time with her definitely wouldn't pay the bills or relieve stress. I'm working a ton right now and the problem is, she has so many friends that are married or in really serious relationships so there is a lot that she must compare our relationship to. I'm not ready to get married and I'm trying to relocate for work, which she is completely against... the whole thing is just spiraling down hill and I'm trying to figure out when or how to cut it off or if there might be hope in it.

>>722931507
This is low quality b8.

>>722931453
True.. but why would I waste my time trying to get an outcome from her I can make happen on my own?

>>722931522
>the bitch still creeps my shit after not saying a word to me since the beginning of this month.
Some women will always do that. I know married women who visit high school ex's FB pages just to see what they're doing.

>>722931664
dude...no....she was with a boyfriend before me for 8 years that got her fucked in the head.

>>722930289 Quite a bit, my friend. If you're getting flaky bullshit this early on, you're better off ending it now before she fucks you over.

>>722931281
I believe God to be more of an egoist than Satan through the actions and intent displayed in the Bible.

But I was under the impression relationships were symbiotic, extensions of both parties' being for the purpose of mutually serving each others' happiness. If one is encroaching on the other, it should be brought up and worked out. If that isn't possible, it's no longer a symbiotic relationship.

>>722931729
Ah.. read that wrong. I was about to say.. head fucking

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>>722929825
I exactly know this feeling, but on the other hand i don't have a girlfriend and am a virgin and neckbeard with low self esteem who made it his main profession to get rejected in order to stay friends.

>>722931664
fuuuuck... well you didnt mention relocating...dude...its over man. I suggest just sitting in a quiet place for awhile and figure out what you are going to say to her, or play music and do it the chaotic way ...at the end of the day...do you boo boo. fuck...that sounded gay as hell.

>>722931910
lol I'm assuming the whole relocation thing turns out to be a shit show between couples who aren't (and even may be) married

>>722931816
Nice try, but Satan is the symbol of unforgiving egotistic behavior. Unlike the "god" in your bible which is claiming to be selfless.

They can be, no doubt. Okay, and? There are plenty of relationships that work many different ways, no one can narrow it down on how it can work out. Scrabbler.

not related to ops post, but to some of these replies:

its 50/50. alot of times women are being selfish assholes demanding us to become their human purses to be paraded around, stripped of all rights and say. they use lines like 'were emotionally unavailable' when we get fed up with their shit or arnt pandering to their needs. they often dont give anything in return because theyre selfish cunts

on the flipside: there are tons of guys out there with great girls that just ignore the girls. they think throwing money at them counts as a relationship, then are surprised when the girl cheats or leaves them. they literally have no clue what a relationship is OR they just got comfortable with mediocrity, and are in denial that the relationship is dead because theres no chemistry beyond 'ok so this is routine, lets not change anything'.

>>722931253
Well, I was pretty young and naive back then.
As for what you should do: my guess is that you should confront her. Tell her that you think that you actually do a lot of her, name some examples. The ask her what does SHE do for you. Chances are, she'll get mad and start telling you that you don't cherish her etc. (you know how defensive women get when you accuse them of something). If that's the case, I'd dump her on the spot and stop wasting my life on this bitch.

>>722929825
sounds like she has something very specific in mind. a specific event or thing she wants to do that didn't happen because of you.

>>722929825
Does she put your needs first? Maybe you both should put your own needs first, other second. Apply mask to yourself before assisting others.
I mean, what kind of person demands that someone put their needs above their own?

>>722932188
its not 50/50.....thats fucking stupid.

its alla coin toss, shits so chaotic. sometimes its 10/90 sometimes its 90/10 and everything in between.

>>722932130
>Scrabbler

That's a first. As I said, that's my impression of relationships. Nobody should have to sacrifice an element of their self, or stunt their own happiness, for another in such an exchange. I'm not sure what's intrinsically wrong with being egotistical, and I don't suggest being "unforgivably" so.

>>722932262
This is solid advice and what I will do. I really like this girl and she has a lot going for her.. but her broken home and past is kinda fucking with her and I think her anxiety is taking over.

OP here.

She does not come off as very selfish and says she will back me up and not stand in my way for any decisions made. However, she overthinks things all the time and recently called talking about how she doesn't know if she is happy and how she isn't getting what she needs - more attention and affection.

This is with every. fucking. relationship I've had so far.

>>722932347
i meant it goes both ways. who knows what the real number is, but i know ive seen alot of each situation unfold, and it seems to be the most common reasons for relationships falling apart other than cheating

>>722932627
Then don't bother with relationships. Don't bother with women or men, for the time being. Stem your co-dependence.

>>722932627
>This is with every. fucking. relationship I've had so far.

either youre dating shitty women or you dont know how to human and will be forever alone if you dont change. the common denominator here is you bro

>>722932696
what this guy said

Just went thru this with a girl I had a 5000 dollar ring for. She's leaving or wants to.

>>722932696
>>722932748

It's not that I'm not "human" or can't hold a relationship.. it's that for some reason girls think I don't care about them. I work a lot, am studying for some certifications, and like my alone time especially during these tasks. I can see how I might seem off putting, but I tell them in the beginning when we meet that I am really independent.

>>722932868
Or cheating.

>>722929825
Women are selfish. They can spend years being single, but the moment they hook up with a guy they have needs that have to be fulfilled on the daily. Can't people just enjoy each other without some quota of monetary spending as defined by some bullshit magazine or group of friends?

>>722932868
5k ring? Fuck her.

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>>722932188
nice dubs btw...if you can agree on certain things like...going dutch on bills thats fine...or dining out, movies whatever...i was lucky enough to have a gf that was totaly down with that or hey, you get this one ill get the next one it all goes around....it will never be 50/50 just deal with it...femnon, sorry. You might be paying more or less in the long wrong the main goal is to pool money and have fun while you can in this short existence on earth. If you feel confined or dont enjoy each others company anymore, abandon ship. It'll suck for awhile but there are literally to manny people on earth...just trick someone else into liking you...right?

>>722932464
right on femnon..live your life the way you want to. Figured it all out yet?
muhahahahahaha

>>722932963
Good fucking point about them being single and then suddenly needing things.

Shit I've never thought about that. I may need to find a girl who is in her career so we have the same mindset..

>>722932936
If you've given them that disclaimer of independence, as well as laid your other grievances plain, and they still want to be in a relationship with you, then the fault is theirs for being put off.

>>722929825
get real
you did it for you

>>722932982
Yeah.. 2 weeks later she's with some one new so that showed me where I stood. But the ring bought me a harley

>>722933139
>... then the fault is theirs for being put off

Ok so with that said, should I be the one to initiate the breakup?

>>722929825
Dump her and start putting your needs and wants first, you'll appreciate yourself much more than she does.

>>722933027
I wasn't aware I was a woman, but I agree, it's your life. The rewards and repercussions of the actions you take are yours to claim, and serving your short-term self-interest will often hamper your happiness.

>>722933278
Yes?

>>722932188
>great girls
>the girl cheats

have wife material but I'm not ready for a wife.

>Worships me
>accepts even my ugliest sides
>open-closed relationship
>mff threeways

she'll let me run around the world and do whatever I want for a while if I one day come back to her, but I'm worried I'm going to find someone better and move on. Yet I'm too selfish to get rid of her now (I've tried so many times to push her away, yet she always stayed)

I really don't want to destroy this girl

>>722932982
Never date the princess bitches.. everything was good for almost 5 years then boom you're not doing this that blah blah.. then the cheating and sheering all the wool that was pulled over my eyes then Mr mommy's money 2 weeks after we split.

Leave the bitch. There is no curing mental illness. No matter how much you bend over backwards for her she will not be impressed.

>>722933545
Sounds like the only reason you want to dump her, is because she's ugly

>>722933789
Is that not reason enough?

>>722933680
What defines a princess girl?

Mine drinks wine, likes to dress up, and does actually like getting attention (as do most girls). Is she a princess?

>>722933824
Pretty girl ugly on the inside?

>>722929825
She is executing her exit strategy. When she leaves you, the narrative will be it's your fault even though you did all you could. She is probably fucking the person she plans to leave you for already.

>>722933824
No, because he doesn't state this clearly to himself.
I'm implying here, but the "Not ready for a wife BS" seems like an excuse to dump her over something he think is a superficial thing (beauty).

Make up your mind. You are not an horrible person if you have standards

>>722933824
>>722933789
She's actually very beautiful. A trini/Irish mix

She's had some of the most prominent guys come onto her but she's refused them all the time, claiming love to me. Even when it was a black body builder.

I just geniounley don't want to hurt this girl, she has been nothing but kind and loving to me. Even when I've been evil & cruel to her. Mostly because of her past.

>>722934150
Then what's the probelm?
You don't love her? Why?

>>722933987
You're probably right and I'm already thinking of the girl I'm going to fuck after we break up.

Life goes on.

>>722933860
Mine was like that and I bent over backwards for her then she just slowly changed. Front the money for this vacation or I want this 2500 dollar 2 lb puppy my other dogs will kill let's take your big diesel truck out of town cause I don't want to waste the gas that my 42 mpg car gets blah blah blahh they just seem to expect more when you get to give them all.

>>722933987
I second this 100%

>>722934150
She looks like pic related but a paler skin tone.
>>722934255
I don't know.

I love her, I really do. I'd do anything shed ask of me; I make sure I do small things that show my affection. She's my confidant, my best friend, my favourite fuck and even my voice of reason at my darkest secrets moments.

But despite all this I don't know why I feel like an almost deep buried resentment for her.

I don't know if it's my insecurities of her possibly betraying me, I don't know if it's because I never got to take her virginity, or if I think she's the stupid person on earth to be in love with a monster like myself.

I don't know. i love her to death as she takes my problems away with her words and touch, but I'm realizing that as she blinds me and has me under her spell; I'm not accomplishing other goals in my life.

Like I said, marriage material at 18 is not cool

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>>722934150
She looks like pic related but a paler skin tone.
>>722934255
I don't know.

I love her, I really do. I'd do anything shed ask of me; I make sure I do small things that show my affection. She's my confidant, my best friend, my favourite fuck and even my voice of reason at my darkest secrets moments.

But despite all this I don't know why I feel like an almost deep buried resentment for her.

I don't know if it's my insecurities of her possibly betraying me, I don't know if it's because I never got to take her virginity, or if I think she's the stupid person on earth to be in love with a monster like myself.

I don't know. i love her to death as she takes my problems away with her words and touch, but I'm realizing that as she blinds me and has me under her spell; I'm not accomplishing other goals in my life.

Like I said, marriage material at 18 is not cool>>722934918

Op - you should leave her. Don't be a chump.

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>>722934962
>at 18