Go!

I pick up and put away the trash

>>722769816
I'm paid to stab people and steal their life essence, and they thank me for it.

Listen to teen angst and deal with know it all teachers.

>>722769920
Bus driver?

I hit the keyboard and move the mouse to contribute to replacing everyones jobs

I feed fish and pet hamsters

I m paid by taxes ans shoot people

>>722769816
I pretend I'm some kind of wizard while knowing next to nothing about my craft.

>>722769816
I tell people to eat things so their heart doesn't explode

>>722769816
pick up , put in truck, say bye

>>722770297
Dietitian?

File: 1486104795378.jpg (6KB, 194x259px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 194x259px

push stick
push wet stick
throw bags
wipe seat

I get yelled at and threatened by the people who use the service I provide even though I'm clearly not responsible for, or able to fix the things that make it so shitty.

>>722770064
phelbotomy?

>>722769816
I replace pumps and pipes

I use google search for other people

>>722770237
photographer?

use one program to show customer end results
use another program to generate code
use a third program to execute that code to get results from step 1

cut stuff n make it smaller

I write five emails per day, get paid literally nothing, all my friends are jealous, I'm responsible for 60 children.

>>722769816
ill do the work for you, than im going to do you.

I tell people one thing just so that I can do the opposite the moment a client gets upset. Also, I turn things off and turn them back on.

I figure why the smoke got out of things.

>>722770072
School counsellor?

>>722770146
nope

I help sustain an ecosystem of humans

>>722769816
I tell people what to do and stuff. I also tell people how much money to give my company for metal things.

>>722769816

I mix stuff together to try and figure out more stuff.

>>722769816
I set things on fire whenever I'm at work.

i walk around and look at things, then i tell other employees that they have to stop working so my employer does not lose any money

have my own office
sit at computer
shitpost on /b/

I make money by selling advice on a method to make money.

>>722770657

Health and safety inspector.

>>722770458
Tech support?

>>722770676

Professional Jew.

I break into other people's cars.

>>722769816


I assist the older people with scheming pajeet's who manhandled their facebook naked picture delivery machines.

>>722769816
Scream at people when they come around to fetch stuff from the designated place

>>722770713
Nigger.

>>722770338
Same, fedex ground

>>722770657

nope. quality control

I run a twitter account and call the media fake news.

>>722770764
Fast food?

>>722770218
Same here.

Sad. Need to reimplement that work for money for living procedure.

Jesus was claimed to be one

pyromaniac heating water

>>722770589
Correct.

I print hundreds of thousands of tiny dots of really expensive chemicals onto a long piece of plastic. Then I put it in a water dunker and then shine lights at it. Then I play connect the dots.

>>722770862
Carpenter?

>>722769816
I explain to idiot how to stare at lights properly all day.

>>722770826
Close

>>722770816

did i just reply to myself..

and did i just do it again?

>>722770820
President.

>>722770862
you cut lawns?

I read and write and think

>>722770291
politician?

>>722770897
Yeah I is one of them, not a prophet

>>722770816
>>722770920
that's some quality control

People brings things to me and I possibly give them money. If they are employed I also sometimes give them money. They better give it back.

>>722769920

cop

>>722770064
lawyer

>>722771001
Student?

Hear things
Press buttons
Pretend to care
Dish out sarcasm

i count trees

>>722770404
Hah! CSR of some sort. What industry?

>>722769816
Combine things

i tell people how to move

>>722770072
student counceler

>>722770862

Jew>

>>722770146
Kek
>>722770291
IT for sure.

>>722771010
Clearly he's it

>>722771010
Nope

>>722771140
Close enough.
Programmer.

I babysit a group of adults who behave like children while suppressing the urge to scream "you're thick cunts, the lot of you". Meanwhile I make myself indisposable to my boss so it hurts him as much as possible when I leave.

Krusty Krab IRL

>>722771092
Barista?

>>722771108
Chemist? Pharmacist?

>>722771121
Dance instructor? Physiotherapist? Alexander Technique instructor?

>>722771128
Yes. And teachers fucking suuuuck.

>>722770964
The son of god shall do the work of the king of the hill. the other one, where propane is nnot involved.

Convince Mr. Badeep that this is my best out the door price.

>>722771190
McDonald's employee.

Get paid to count other people's money

i put wrist strains on dark skin's

>>722770291
sysadmin

i work with heavy paper

I make sure shit works.

I make geeks do stuff

>>722769816
I operate a thing that is driven by pure fucking magic.

>>722769816
I check that the people with too much to do do things right and then send passive aggressive emails to them when they don't.

>>722770676
social welfare worker

>>722771274
Payroll staff

i handle shit

>>722771079
nope not quite

Stab tree give energy

>>722771251
winner winner chicken dinner

>>722770713
professional nigger

>>722769816
I do stuff so other people can do their stuff and when my stuff breaks again, I do more stuff so people can keep doing their stuff whilst I hope they don't know I had to do stuff to fix my stuff and keep their stuff going.

> Also, 0118999881999119725...3

>>722771222
Barista?Nope

>>722771326
No, but sorta close
>>722771177

Feed and send supplies to a bunch of shitskins who'd just as soon kill me as breathe.

>>722771246
Car salesman

>>722769816
i put away freight

I move things and things do other things and then all those things get put into one thing and then someone puts them in a thing and they go down this thing and then they end up at this thing where people exchange things for things so they can take the things home and do things to the things.

>>722771185
cock-sucking whore?

Travel long way in metal box to stay in big warm box while put together mainly wood garbage for big rich cunts.

I print off small paper slips in exchange for money
Then I send the patrons away so they can spend rediculous amounts of money to buy cheep reheated food so they may satisfy their cravings as they sit in a large dark room with others silently

Ez mode

>>722769816
tell people to turn their computer on and off again

>>72276981
>I play god
>I create and kill billions of life forms
>harvest their insides
>make pretty pictures of it
>publish them without their consent

Wow out of context I'm a monster

>>722769816
I'm a 3d printer

>>722771492
language?

>>722771404
IT manger

I add poor people to the state healthcare database where they use up your hard earned tax money to pay for: diseases for being a fatass-diabetees; Drug rehab; Psych care for being cray-cray.

>>722769816
I draw pictures

>>722769816

I temporarily try to kill people with poison in the hope that it kills the thing that's currently killing them before they die.

>>722771503
W.H.O?Is that you God?

>>722771623
Java

>>722770667
Robot?

File: 532667.jpg (1007KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

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I take pieces of people and find out what smaller pieces of them cause the larger pieces to be what they are. Especially their faces.

>>722771565
A brothel manager.

>>722771430
Call center manager

>>722771623
*explain your language, badly, and ill try to guess it

>>722771551
Lumber trucker

>>722770396
Janitor

>>722771649
Oncologist. Also a liar.

>>722771659
>>722771691
too late :(

>>722771458
Warehouse person

>>722771649
A x-ray machine.

>>722771655
Not even close.

>>722769816
i make people all better

>>722771666
Dark lord.

>>722771666

Geneticist.

>>722769816
A farmer who does IT.

>>722771565
Maitre 'd

>>722771666
Maise Williams?

>>722771791
drug dealer

I tell people what to do, listen to them explain why what they did doesn't work and it's not their fault, then try desperately not to sound like a dick when I explain simple shit for the 10th time.

>>722771549
checks out
Boss => His pimp
Adults => Johns
"thick cunts" => self explanatory

Stab mouse, get brain, then destroy the brain. Get money.

>>722771732

Good job! Kind of.

I draw stuff and you want stuff.

>>722771791
Candy.

>>722769816
I do the numbers.

>>722771467
Canadian / maple syrup guy

>>722769816
I drive around parking lots.

>>722771767

Also works!

>>722771868
drawfag

>>722771900
Security guard

I make people eat an another person, but not really

>>722771836
prosecutor

>>722771092
Millennial

I fix sentient retarded robots systematically.

I check bird boxes

>>722771743
think feces + science

I penetrate men and women on a regular basis.

I will never and have never been arrested for it.

I do wear a mask at times.

>>722771699

Close but no cigar.

>>722771894
Numberphile.

>>722771833
nope

>>722771820
You are correct sir.

>>722769816
I get paid for touching people's body.

>>722771984
Talking meat.

>>722771879
candy is not a job

>>722771984
professional japanese

>>722771977
not even close

Stab tree give energy

>>722769816
I often do what is called "area beautification", if I'm lucky I get to go to some other country and kill their undesirables.

>>722772075
A handjob.

I rent space

>>722772005
Social sciences?

>>722772128
Druid.

>>722772070
What?!

>>722772053

Lucky! It really only stood out because we were just talking dismorphology today.

>>722771940
Nope

>>722772163
Astronaut.

>>722772128
Do you wear women's clothing?

>>722769816
>I play god
>I create and kill billions of life forms
>harvest their insides
>make pretty pictures of it
>write about what I see
>publish them without their consent

I get paid to go to meetings once a week.

The rest of the time,my boss keeps an eye on me.

>>722772106
Try again.

>>722772198
We'll it's even more coincidental then because I study cranial malformations.

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>>722772222

>>722771743
>>722772005

Hmm something with waste water treatment?

>>722771846
Roboticist

>>722772299
Prostitute

I'm surrounded by pubes.

>>722772222
Dubs dubs quads checked check cheeeeeeck

>>722772215
Valet?

>>722771894
Host of Numberwang

>>722772299
Officeboi

>>722772369
In many ways but you're wrong.

>>722769816
I do stuff to boxes.

>>722770218
currently in school to do this

>>722772195
You know. A pile of talking meat. Jam those little hotdogs in my gearbox.

Fix me.

>>722771649
Chemotherapy.

>>722769816
I change lightbulbs, but mostly just sit around.

>>722769816
I give glass to people and the touch it with their mouths

>>722772444
No cigar

>>722772258
Researcher.

>>722772389
Pube waxer

>>722772489
That's not a job you retard it's oncologist.

>>722772443
Or Wangernum

>>722771649
>>722772489
Chemo the rapist.

I'm a dentist.Hey everyone

>>722772548
Yes, but what kind

I twist metal things around in my hand most of the time. Making stuff do the stuff that it does. They call me when it's not doing it.

I also climb in a big heavy thing and move it all over the place. It has all the stuff I need in it.

>>722769816
Im an electrician.

>>722772605
An actor.

>>722772520
Assistant school janitor

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I make black lines appear in the sky to make your confuser work

>>722772571
I'm sorry Simon but Ireland is not a vegetable

>>722769816
I make sure shit works the way it's supposed to

I google people's problems and fix general stupidity.

>>722772189
Power lineman u faggot

>>722772627
Optimus Prime.

File: sadtom.jpg (7KB, 286x191px) Image search: [Google]

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Drunk people give me lists of beverages to obtain, I find and make them and when they pay with their card they ALWAYS look away when they need to remove it from the machine.

>>722772557
No, but I can use one myself. Make a wig for my head.

>>722772605
Mime?

I paint metal and yell at young adult's! Any guess?

>>722769816
I take people to places very, very far away. Then I get to stay there for a bit too.

>>722772643
Well played anon.I tip my hat to you.

>>722772668
Electrician / lineman

>>722769816
sit in one room with other kids and one grown man and i cant go out for most of a time

>>722772612
Microbiology.

I apply pressure regularly so an inanimate object starts to do what I want it do

I use different kind of pistols to put steel together.

>>722772740
Pilot?

>>722772427
No, but there are valets that I over see.

>>722772740
Mexican cartel human trafficer

>>722772691
Fixer

I teach young people to use colons correctly

>>722772728

>>722772753
Very close

I don't bring power.

>>722772740
flight attendant

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>>722772258
>>722772612
planned parenthood employee

>>722772769
That's half of what I do so close enough. Research Biochemist

>>722772795
Mother of three?

>>722772605
You're a dental nurse with no qualifications but you tell everyone you're a dentist

>>722772783
A baseball player.

>>722772612
Microbiologist

File: sansa.stark_.jpg (313KB, 1290x725px) Image search: [Google]

313KB, 1290x725px

>>722769816
carry lots of heavy stuff, then attach plastic to a surface

File: slice.png (113KB, 400x468px) Image search: [Google]

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>>722769816

I butt nut she suck fuck keep nut

>>722772830
Toilet

>>722770516
Hr?

>>722772830
Sex ed Teacher.

>>722769920
I give old people oxygen juice.

>>722769816
I go into a doctor's office with a patient and parrot anything anyone says

>>722772863
Kek, no

>>722772707
Help desk

>>722772707
IT guy. Too easy

>>722769816
I measure the temperature of people's beans.

>>722772905
Billy Mays with Mighty Putty.

>>722772953
Geriatric nurse

>>722772972
Bacteria.

>>722769816
Studying so guess my study

>how to make everyone ITT unemployed in a few decades

>>722772972
A parrot with a medical mask.

>>722772064
Bill Cosby.

>>722772836
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=M01StsosSpM

>>722772845
Yeah I thought about that after I posted

Telecom / cable guy?

File: are_jimmy.jpg (18KB, 290x280px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 290x280px

>>722772830
Catholic priest

I tell people what they want to hear intending to spark a monthly investment

>>722773019
Electric Stove.

So you want to describe your job badly?

>>722770218
>>722772464
>>722770831

lol same, looks like there's many of us here! Meet you at ICRA17?

>>722772897
Close see>>722772883

>>722772883
I would love to this, instead I am doing the same irrelevent medical lab assist bullshit for the experience.

>>722773081
Kek

>>722772972
Bird. Easy.

I make the ice

>from the outside
"everything's fun!"
>once inside
"everything suck"

>>722773139
Donald Trump.

>>722772826
I don't do the fixing

Hint
>software

Babysit people who decided it would be a good career move to kill other people for a living

>>722772887
I supervise "landside operations" at an airport.

I type some gibberish on my computer then compile it and sell it so people can waste time on it

>>722769816
I open books, read them and tap keys on a keyboard and stuff.

>>722773160
Therapist. To easy.

>>722773219
Kek

I make "special kids" run

>>722773241
Staff Seargent

>>722773208
Your job is depression?

>>722771565
Movie ticket guy.

>>722770471
UI designer?
3d print designer?

>>722773208
Google employee.

File: just a moment.jpg (98KB, 625x457px) Image search: [Google]

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>>722769816
make the sun inside to do the thing

>>722769816
I memorize things, and retrieve memories for reasons too vague for me to understand.

>>722773241
CO

>>722773324
close enough

>>722773288
No,i'm homeless but i just wanted to fit in...

>>722773207
Mr. Freeze.

>>722770396
nice one I was like wtf

>>722769816
no

>>722773386
Student

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>>722773386
go do your homework, kiddo!

only a small chance of me getting in a fight with someone

>>722773238
Softer.

I push buttons and make invisible death rays work

File: 1484339046832.gif (2MB, 288x288px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 288x288px

>>722769816
glorified dishwasher

you'll never guess this shit

>>722773416
You lie pretty good. Politican then?

I get paid to place my fingers in peoples vaginas or buttholes, pierce their skin with sharp items, break their ribs when they dont answer my questions, and I get to play golf on the weekends

>>722773463
Child molester.

>>722769816
I press the power buttons for monitors, for idiots who teach others idiots.

I pay to sit on a chair and stare at a white board all day while some weird dude talks in english...

>>722773497
Kitchen Porter?

>>722773497
Trump

>>722770064
blood bank?

>>722773511
far off thinking more internationally

>>722770516
Very curious, but have no idea. Many ideas, but none fits "get paid literally nothing".

>>722769816
I provide almost any person with money the ability to rapidly accelerate small objects at high speeds so they can make contact with distant ojects.

>>722773479
Steve Irwin

cut open heads and touch brains after spending thousands at med school

>>722773566
Catholic

>>722769816
I make the things in the house go.

>>722773321
Bully

>>722773588
Illegal Arms Dealer.

>>722773510
President Bush, sir is that you?

>>722773592
I lol'd.

I listen to people's problems and offer them vague advice. If they specifically did what I said, they'd honestly be better off, but they don't listen to me anyway.

>>722773588
Gun seller

>>722773593
Lawyer.

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>>722773497
cook at an expensive restaurant who doesnt get to cook often

>>722773593
Neurosurgeon

>>722773505
If you take your trousers down,i'll show you how good i really lie.

>>722773624
next hint but i see your logic and tip my fedora towards it


equal chance of killing and dieing in a given year, every year

>>722773660
Racecar Driver.

>>722773630
Close. Im licensed

I sell dead animals

I tell in a padded room and sometimes get told I'm not yelling right.

>>722773588
Dwarf tosser

>>722773663
Bingo

>>722773728
The United States Government.

>>722771742
I too code in java but am still in uni. How much money annually do you make and how old are u?

>>722771046
pawn shop owner?

>>722769816
I say some shit, people pretend to listen, then they say that they are as good as me in what I do.
Also, everybody thinks I only work one day a week

>>722773750
Singer

>>722773750
A really good visual artist.

>>722773837
officer military

>>722773708
Zookeeper

>>722773837
priest?

>>722773708
soldier

>>722773899
Thats what I really kinda want to be

>>722773925
Almost, really close

>>722772477
"I think it'll be best if you see your GP about this.........or the local shrink."

>>722773877
Winrar winnona chicken pakora,right anon?

i take hair and use it to put chemicals on a board

>>722773750
Mental patient

>>722771490
sysadmin

>>722774004
/pol/

>>722773905
good anwser but not yet there ill give you props for the right idea.

>>722773956
bingo

>>722773970
go for it ROTC becuase going for it while your in will suck your will to live enlisted

give us another hint

>>722773877
Nope, but close

I stick my dick in things

File: bushjunior111.jpg (42KB, 533x600px) Image search: [Google]

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>>722773637

Well done son. Come to daddy

>>722771046
pawn shop

>>722774135
Yeller

>>722773837
woman

I lock cats in cars to see if they suffocate.

>>722774273
EPA

My job hired me because im a psychopath.

>>722774147
You're an agent for an actor called Richard

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>>722773551
>>722773560
>>722773688
no to all, here's a hint:

doesnt have anything to do with real kitchen work. altho its probably safer to eat of/with the dishes that i process

File: 1483170777577.png (475KB, 600x432px) Image search: [Google]

475KB, 600x432px

>>722774147
a jello taste tester

>>722772011
Doctor and liar, doctors don't have time for this shit

>>722774112
My job has a military version, if that helps, and it does the same as the normal, just on field. I kinda aiming for that

>>722774194
You pretend to listen to womans? Thats really nice of you

>>722774395
There's something a bit rapey about Lindybeige

>>722774378
correction: "dishes"

>>722769816
I sit on my butt and play video games,fap, and shitpost

>>722774441
duh IT professional

>>722772712
Close. Any more guesses?

>>722772830
English tutor.