Useless talents Lets hear them /b/, do you have some kind of

Bump
someone here got to know something about something.

>>722730287
Nope. The only thing about me that even resembles noteworthiness is how I have no talent for anything whatsoever.

>>722730161
I know some sign-language if that counts

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>>722730161
i can flip and emulate skateboarding tricks with any TV remote control (or similar object)
>im like a pro at it, actually

beat that, autismos

I can do impression of famous rappers like the Notorious BIG Tupac Method Man Snoop Dogg

Also im white

I can read hebrew, I´m not jewish or anything I just liked learning languages when I was a kid and for some reason I learned the hebrew alphabet, I have no idea what I´m reading though

>>722730161
I can speak really really fast if I want to

>>722730161
i can clench and unclench my asshole at a fast pace so it makes a clapping noise (only if asshole is sticky from shit)

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>>722730161
i can assemble a 5x5 rubiks cube blindfolded.
(pic related)

>>722731266
need youtube video

>>722730161
making big cums

I can say up the alphabet backwards

>>722731287
how can you tell what colors are what if you are blindfolded.

>>722731325
fuck you i wish i had that talent

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I can walk backwardsreally fast

>>722731266
You should get into gay porn industry.

>>722731357
Coloureds stink, you don't have to see them.

I can make big burp like a machine gun

>>722730161
I can round house and high kick the average male in the head. It used to be my go to thing when I was 17, now that I'm older, my friends and bar owners don't like flying ninja kicks

>>722731209
>I can read hebrew
>I have no idea what I´m reading
make up ur mind, faggot

I can generate static electricity in my hands for literally no reason

>>722731527
I can read the alphabet so I can read a text written with the hebrew alphabet but I have no idea what the words mean.

>>722731357
>722731325 (You)
fuck you i wish i had that talent

but muh tissue costs...

>>722731402
i may be desperate but ill stay straight,thank you.

>>722730161
>Tastes like ass
-that dog

>>722731004
that's pretty retarded. I wanna see.
my knees crack every time I bend them and I can make a rhythm with them if I bend them one at a time.

I can kneel in a regular sized doorway and touch the top of the doorway. Unfortunately because of this skill I'm unable to hang myself in a doorway with a belt. Win some, loose everything.

I can throw a pair of tweezers like a throwing knife and get them to stick from up to five feet away.

>>722731793
mine do too but it happens because i have salt in my knees for being a lazy fatass all day.

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>>722730161
I can cook minute rice in 58 seconds

>>722730161

I can cum, fart, hiccup and cough at the same time

>>722730161
I'm really good at balancing long objects on end on my hand or fingers. If my wife and I are shopping and have an umbrella I'll walk around the store balancing it by the tip. Drives her nuts. Learned by playing with long tongs as a grill cook.

>>722731793
LOL i know its pretty fkn retarded

im a skater myself. Learned it (without even wanting) after years of doing it while i watched the TV

I recorded this like 7+ years ago, so it doesnt really show how good am at it nowadays lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF6DvOMmKHk

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>>722731998
what an absolute madman!

>>722732028
He is winning

>>722730161
I can predict daily the simpsons re-run episodes in my country

>>722731985
Salt? You retarded that is called crepitus.

I can count to 11 with my fingers.

>>722732028
are you a fucking robot? How the fuck can you multitask so much shit?

>>722731814
How fucking tall are you?

>>72273211
you have 11 fingers?

>>722732082
>He is winning
Not yet. First we need proof

>>722730161
I can copy anyone's accent/speech patterns.

Also I can bluff my way through conversations on topics I don't actually have interest in, like football.

I can crack a lot of my bones including all my phalanx (even the feet ones), elbows, shoulders, neck (but I avoid that one because it induces terrible headaches), spine, sometimes my hip, and ankles. I usually do it in my bed before sleep

>>722732222
That's true.
Nice Quads

>>722732102
Salt is how we call it in my language,smartass.

>>722732180
6'6"

>>722730161
I never masturbate at all. Occasionally I have wet dreams so it doesn't clog up but I literally spend no time on porn or masturbating. Might be borderline asexual actually.

i know how to record and edit tracks on a minidisc player

>>722732278
ty

and that nigger or any other participant has to post proof before declaring a winner

>>722732175

Thats what I do, that is what I was meant to do, god needed someone to do that task

>>722732222
i can check em really well

also i can beatbox sort of well if that counts

>>722730161
I can turn invisible in a second but only to women

My knowledge of video game lore and memory of almost anything game related means I'm basically a database of walkthroughs and useless facts about video game universes.

>>722732474
i think we all here share the same talent anon

its nice, i can take my cock out and fap and they dont even notice

>>722732474
That´s a talent that you share with every visitor on >>>/r9k/

>>722732566
Kek I'm pretty sure they have that down

>>722732506
start youtube channel about game lore

>>722730161
When in social situations I can see and hear everything, including what's being said in between the lines. Still not sure if talent or curse.

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Why are cops such retards?

>>722731004
>>722732068
Autismo/11

Also, I used to skate too, so I wonder what else can you do.
Make a new video?

>>722730161
I can tap with pens and my fingers on desks to create a beat. None of it translates to drums though. Oh, and it pisses people off a lot. Maybe it does have a use.

>>722730161
Burp on command.
That's about it really.

I can make the clouds move just by looking at the sky.

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>>722730161
>can flip my lips inside out without using hands
>can keep my upper eye lid in place and close my eyes only using my bottom eye lid
>can pop out my neck vein on command
>can burp on command
>I can choose whether my farts are loud or silenced
>if I eat/drink something with a lot of honey in it throughout the day and need to shit, can shit out honey
>by placing any finger tip on my thumb I can make it vibrate in a retarded fashion, my friends can't do it so I assume its a God given ability
>can do Stephen Hawking voice
I am the sperglord

>>722732986
so its your doing...

>>722732769
yeah ill make a new one as soon as i buy a new camera :)

i now can do all the same stuff with my left hand, can do hospital flips, 540 flips, laser flips, and other shit with additional flips

I can cum without touching myself.

>>722733252
thats not a talent, thats a really really rare, bad and sad case of premature ejaculation

>>722730161
I have a nice smelling penis

>>722730161
I can speak in wingdings

>>722731004
>When you realize there's a finger skateboard championship.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWOROS8DnNg

>>722731287
>>722730161
i can solve a rubiks cube

>Can read Vietnamese phonetically but not understand any of it
>Can flex eye lids and create a vacuum in my nose that holds my nose closed
>Can wiggle ears and raise either eyebrow independently

i can breathe

>>722733614
I lost

>>722733614
yup.
that's fingerboarding, which i think is almost as retarded.

Not as retarded as fingerblading tho.
That is just waaay to much lack of chromosomes

>>722730161
Juggling balls, knives hammers, torches, and clubs. 3 at a time, and I can mix and match juggling equipment. My big trick is juggling knives on a rip-stick When I was a kid I wanted to be a clown so I worked on attaining those skills. Then I found out no one liked clowns. At least I can juggle knives and make balloon animals. Still though it never fails to spark up conversations with anyone who catches me in the act. I live in a small town so there is no street performance, I just go juggle at the park.

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I paint superhero stuff on furniture.

>>722734158
cool anon

>>722733766
I can also do nose thing

I can put both feet behind my head, and touch my foot to midspine

>The twist

Im fat as all fuck, think of that picture of santa chan.

>Lesser on the useless scale
I can down a pint of beer in a single gulp, like "the fox" on the man show.

>actually useful sometimes
I can hold a piece of fruit in my throat below my neck, and then projectile "vomit" it out a far distance. Biggest fruit was a kiwi

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>>722734217
Thanks. I'm working on this right now. Its a bookcase.

>>722732750
That's my police chief

>>722734331
nice

but u kinda dont belong here then. Thats an actual useful talent.

I can make a full tarot reading, because I learned the meanings of all cards.

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>>722734331

>>722734525
same as >>722734384

theres still people who hire tarot readers

>>722731201
Can you do any of the new school rappers?

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>>722734575

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>>722734331
>>722734331

Bump

I have a saltine cracker eating talent.

shit like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwIReKtlykw

>>722734612
Yes but I'm not a gipsy grandma.
The only useful stuff I did with the skill was for mastering tabletop rpg. Party goes astray and meet some new npc i didn't planned for them? Make a quick 5-cards reading for an instant random character.

i can turn my leg around 180 degrees
also i can say the word nigger in public

>>722733031
Jesus christ.. are you a wizard yet?

>>722734960
u could still make some money offering ur tarot reading service on sites like fiverr dot com or seoclerks

theres people doing that there as we speak

>>722735533
I honestly didn't know that was still a thing... anyway I already have a job, but thanks anyway for the tip.

And here's another really useless one: I know all of the traditional ways to make lace and embroderies. But it's so time-consuming that I would never make something note-worthy with this skill.

I can wake up at any time I want If I focus hard enough.

I can make my skeleton become invisible.

i can move my ears

bump 4 interst

we should have more threats like this one

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>>722738783

I can burp very loudly on command

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>>722738845

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I can fold this origami dragon from memory. It takes about 30 minutes.

I can cum within 2 minutes of thrusting

>>722741442
see >>722733318

>>722730161
Can stay hard after nutting for at least another 15min then go snail soft

I can remember useless shit.

>hey dude i forgot what mike's postal code was
>it's 8071RI
>w-what?
>don't ask

I always get these awkward moments because of it

>>722741781
Fucking same here. I almost never remember important shit, though.