Ask a corporate assassin anything.

Can i please have money, if not can you fuck up my last employer

no u

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>>722688995
Do you know any corporate hackers? If so, give contact, need one for a job

Wtf is a corporate assassin and what do you do

>>722689235
Me to

>>722689090
No. Yes, if you pay me.
>>722689108
Yes.
>>722689235
You're better with a freelancer. The guys that they draft onto payroll are middling to average. They can keep the systems safe from script kiddies, but that's about it.

>>722688995
What is a corporate assassin

>>722688995
what is your weapon of choice for killing?

>>722689782
Or what weapon/weapons dose he recommend

How many penis's have you assassinated with your mouth today

>>722689351
Murder people who corporations want dead. It's a good gig if you can get it.
>>722689666
Nice trips. Question answered above.
>>722689782
Serial killers have a singular weapon of choice. I'll take damn near anything, context dependent. For general-purpose hits, I prefer smaller caliber pistols - no shame in double-tapping, and I'd prefer shooting twice and hitting with both rounds to having to pump five rounds through the air with a wildly recoiling pistol before hitting anything. Anything 9mm is usually okay. If silence is required, I'll just add a heavy dose of narcotic to something I know they're going to indulge in, then slip in and make damn sure the dose is lethal.

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where did op go

>>722690216
>>722688995
what made you want to be a hitman?

how much do you get paid on average ? highest pay ? lowest pay ? what does it depend on ?

>>722690273
he realised his basement dwelling fantasies are as autistic as they can get and killed himself

>>722690070
Just your mom's.
>>722689981
Okay, geeking out a little here. If you can get your hands on the FB Vis model 35, by all means, do. The thing is durable as fuck, easy to maintain, and dead accurate.

y r ur sunglasses pink

>>722690417
His imagination, boredom and the fact you're all idiots combines into the perfect shit storm, Ricky.

>>722688995
How many times have you seen the movie hitman

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>>722688995

If a job runs long, does your mum keep your tendies warm for you?

>>722690464
kek

>>722690469
Well your obviously not a professor because my mom is a woman with no penis u dumby my dad on the other hand now HE has a penis

>>722688995
whats it like being a hitman?

>>722690273
I was typing. It's a thing.
>>722690417
It's less that I want to be a hit man, and more that I want to be paid well, and I happen to be pretty good at what I do.
>>722690445
This one's a crapshoot. It depends on the visibility and security of the target, and how bad people want him dead. My smallest paycheck in recent memory was five grand (suburban job, no real security) and my biggest was 120k (some hotshot in Mexico City, had a small army of thugs and a decent security setup. Killed him at his mistress' place). The better assassins can get half a mil per job.

Ever worked for 3M?

Pics or it didn't happen

how did you get recruited?

>>722690896
do you only kill people u think deserve to die?
Or will you burn in hell for all eternity?

>>722690495
I don't wear sunglasses. If you mean the image, it's because 80s.
>>722690585
None.
>>722690599
The fuck are tendies?
>>722690830
Have you checked lately?
>>722690889
Long stretches of boredom punctuated by brief moments of intense panic.

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>>722688995
HAs Anyone ReAlly Been FAr Even As Decided to Use Even Go WAnt to do Look More Like?

>>722688995
First off i'm drunk. Second, you're a fucking moron if you think a 9mm is the only thing you can suppress. Why wouldn't you use a DMR with a suppressor you scrub.

>>722688995
>3 new posts
whats your back up plan if shit hits the fan

>>722690896
what long range weapon would you recommend
like something for sniping

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>>722691203
>>>722690599 (You)
>The fuck are tendies?

Don't fuck with me you basement dwelling lard ball. You know damned well what a tendie is.

>>722690469
Thanks for the advice on weapons op

>>722690951
Nah. Monsanto pays well though.
>>722690982
HAHAHAHAHAHAno
>>722691039
Worked for a 'private security' firm, got called on to do a wetwork job under the table, it went well, got recommended for another one... the rest is history. Short version - work for mercenaries and this is half a step away.
>>722691128
I'll burn in hell, but if I do, I'll at least get double my money back.

>>722688995
have you ever worked for the clintons?

do you do cocaine?

Have you met LA-G?
(Long Arm of God)

>>722691510
*mouth drops*

I'm so sad now.

>>722691434
.308

>>722688995
fake and gay

Why are you such a faggot? OP

>>722691224
Only on Tuesday.
>>722691359
It has nothing to do with noise suppression and everything to do with the fact that I have flimsy fucking wrists and hate the recoil on larger weapons. Accuracy, yo.
>>722691370
Morocco or New Zealand.
>>722691434
I don't snipe. Too conspicuous. Small arms can be passed off as a robbery gone bad or a gang hit, toxins and drugs can be accidents or suicide or an overdose... high caliber rifle rounds? That's an investigation you don't want.
>>722691451
My memes are not dank enough to know what a fucking tendie is.
>>722691456
S'aight.

What's it like to lie with no proof to a bunch of retards on a school night?

Also ever taken out a celebrity?

What are your prices

>>722691530
Nope. I work corporate, not political.
>>722691618
Weed and mead only.
>>722691652
No.
>>722691787
Because I'm an OP. OP is always a faggot. Also because I like dudes, so... you know. There's that.

>>722688995
do you do any form of martial arts?

is krav magal all it's cracked up to be?

Do you know who "Brandon-Z" is? Why does he only kill other contract killers??

What you're doing is illegal, so goodluck with this OP

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Ok john wick

How do you like your pizza?

>>722691652
LAG is dead idiot. Russians got his ass at least ten years ago

>>722688995
Nice. I haven't seen a good cringe thread in a while.

The amount of faggotry in this thread is almost unbearable. I don't know which is worse: the faggot claiming to be an assassin or the faggots that believe him.

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Should I invest in cyberware early on or conserve essence in case I want to use magic later?

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>>722691796
>>>722691451 (You)
>My memes are not dank enough to know what a fucking tendie is.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THESE DOUBLES AND GO KILL YOURSELF

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

> alternately, keep evidence, expose everything for lulz
> this is what you could do if you weren't a lying sack of shit

>>722692198
kys xD

>>722692120
>>722688995
How much to kill him?

>>722692120
Real or fake who gives a fuck, its different from all the traps and furries you little window wiping shit stain.

>>722691796
Wow I didn't know you supported the recoil from a rifle with your wrists? You must shoot like some untrained fuck ( think of afghan national army/ iraqi army), you're a faggot and i'm drunk. I hope you eat your tendies cold bitch.

>>722692285
I agree

>>722691940
Not on jobs. Never get into a fistfight if you're a hired gun. You will lose.
>>722691975
Yes. I don't do it, but it's effective as fuck.
>>722692009
Nope.
>>722692061
>Caring about laws
>2017
Good luck in the next decade, kid.
>>722692063
I wish. He has some goddamn style.
>>722692080
New York style. Pepperoni. Nothing fancy.
>>722692179
Ask /tg/.

Why are you so full of shit?

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>>722692084
>La-G
>Dead

Oh wow

>>722692285

OP, stop getting mad

>>722688995
Any pics of jobs

>>722688995
How much for one hack plz.

>>722692318
Not OP but my guess is that he likes using zip guns.

>>722692198
What dubs?
>>722692275
If you can get me his dox, I can make the run for under 3k. Under 2k if he's in the midwest.
>>722692318
WHAT THE FUCK ARE TENDIES?!
Also of course you don't support the recoil from a rifle with your wrists, I was talking larger bore pistols. I don't use rifles.

>>722691975
I second this

OP: Do you use the Deep Web???

>>722692569
Chicken tendies. It's a nuggets-like treat for autist and our great lord's favorite food.

>>722692569
Thanks in regards
>>722692275

>>722692569
Yay, I'm in the Midwest. Also a Marine combat veteran that ACTUALLY knows about weapons and combat.

>>722692741
Implying you can't be caught off guard. Just saying.

>>722692446
[spoiler]Mead plus boredom.[/spoiler]
>>722692453
I'm down here.
>>722692488
That's a good way to ruin client confidentiality. So no. Also I don't do souvenirs.
>>722692493
You'd have to ask the hackers.
>>722692523
>Pistols, ideally 9mm or similar.
>Poisons
>Narcotics
>Knives
>Fire
Those are my usual weapons. If I can figure out what the fuck a tendie is, I'll try to murder someone with one just to add it to the resume. BECAUSE EVIDENTLY THAT'S A THING NOW.

What's your biggest regret in life?

>>722692741
Not op but
Good luck

>>722692829
how did you get into this

>>722688995
so how do you go about killing someone
>do you just walk past them and shoot them
>how do you hide evidence that you killed a person
>do you hide body's and if so how and where do you hide body's
>do you dress yourself to blend in with what people would normally wear around the area your going to kill someone
>how do you get away once you killed someone
>do you ever wear things to hide your face

>>722692586
Nah. Corporate communications use a proprietary network, it's not deep web. It's not technically web at all.
>>722692669
Oh. Well.
...gotta kill a fuck with chicken now.
>>722692741
>Marine
>On /b/
kek
>>722692808
This, mostly. Surprise and careful planning are my best friends.

>>722692903
Not really worried about some internet autist.

>>722692829
>[/spoiler]
You are not 'Murrican I bet.

>>722692741
Oh Good, now two faggots are lying. I should know I am a astronaut.

>>722688995
How many dicks have you sucked?

>>722692741
listening to this pog boot fuck makes my dick soft

>>722692829
Post a pic of your gun with time stamp

What corporate industry do you kill for?

>>722693001
You should be

How many people you killed??? jc

>>722693000
Yes, because all Marines are in the Marines for their entire life and spend entire said life without internet access. So much more unlikely than a corporate hitman bragging about his conquests on here.

where do you get your weapnons

>>722693000
You can buy tendies at a supermarket.

And the marines thing is not surprising, there are some veteran officinist here. Not real marines but you'll get shit thrown at you when you point that out.

>>722693181
STFU liar

>>722693060
Found the other debil

>>722690469
Why don't you use more a hk or glockek? Is the Vis that good?

>>722693198
This.
Gangmembers?
Clients supply them?
Surely they aren't obtained legally. Also, do you ditch weapons or use them for more than one job?

Do you "always" remember the first time you kill somebody? Or the first time you got paid to do do?

What is your kill count? If you have any.

Also, had you ever felt you killed some honest hardworking man or woman?

I would love to see my previous supervisor dead as a fat fuck dick.

>>722688995
What video game is that from

>>722692895
Should have married her when I had the chance. I mean, she's happy now, and I'd be a lousy dad at this point, but... still, the fuck?
>>722692944
Already answered that. Got recruited into wetwork side jobs from a job with a 'private security' firm.
>>722692971
A LOT OF HOMEWORK. I tail them for a good week to 3 weeks to determine when they're at their most vulnerable, then figure out how to off them in the least conspicuous way. Guns are one-use-only, ditch/destroy after use. I do not hide bodies, I make the scene look like someone else killed them for some other reason (or a suicide). I dress like any ordinary, low-class schmuck. Look like the help, or like a damn hobo. No one will look at you. I act casual. Walk casual. Look like you're bored. And only if there are cameras present. You'd be shocked at how effective a stupid baseball cap can be.

>>722693370
Me too. I don't know your supervisor but I hated my boss. I hope he dies

>>722692829
Tendies = Chicken tenders

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>>722693000

Why are you such a lying faggot.

How about get out of your moms basement and put down the ninja sword

>>722688995
Beretta or SIG Sauer?
If you're a 1911 cuck just kys.

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>>722692971
>>722693423
thanks for info op

>>722688995
Are you a corporate assassin? Can I ask you ANYTHING?

Don't beat yourself up. I think you can find someone.

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Why are you pretending to be a hitman on the internet?

>>722693458
Well no, my boss was dope as fuck. But I know the stupid fuck supervisor sabotaged him so he could become manager to earn more money which actually didn't happened.

Also, the fucker cost me my job.

>>722688995

Hey remember this ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQf5DhfMrV0&t=185s

>>722693709
Well, fuck that guy!

>>722693423
why do you ditch weapons after using them?

>>722690216
>Murder people who corporations want dead.
What types of folks do corporations want dead?

>>722693808
Hippies. Jk

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op is ded cri

>>722693423
How do I get my foot in the door

>>722693808
I suppose the ones that don't exist. A corporation that can't turn a profit without a hitman is essentially useless. He also is such a pussy he uses a 9mm pistol because his pussy wrists can't manage to shoot a .45.

Are you hiring?

How does one go about hiring a cat for personal swim lessons?

>>722693423
was there a moment where you nearly got busted or killed doing a job
and have you ever had a hitman hired on you?

>>722694025
cats don't like water in general, gl

Would you kill a child?

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Can someone screen cap the thing about the skilled assassin not knowing what tendies are?
(And include me in it please)

>>722693022
Born in Texas, weird enough. I just like mead.
>>722693026
10ish? I dunno.
>>722693069
Don't have one right now, between jobs. Also no pics.
>>722693131
Depends on who's hiring. Petrochemical and ag industries mostly. Sometimes pharm.
>>722693160
Approximately 20.
>>722693198
Gun shows, Craigslist (yes, really), and other private dealers.
>>722693292
Oh, I'll use a Glock easily. It's damn easy to get your hands on one and it's a fine piece of firearm. Hell, I'll use one over the Vis any day of the week - because I destroy my guns after a job!
Glocks are good guns. The Vis is a goddamn piece of art.
>>722693347
Rarely gang members, but sometimes. Weapons are destroyed afterwards.
>>722693359
Yeah. It's kind of a major thing. Unless you're incredibly high or drunk the first time, or concussed. I wasn't, so - yeah, I remember it clear.
>>722693410
No idea.

is op gone

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>>722688995
why do so many autistic faggots latley post they're assassins?

is this the freshes meme?

from all the fucking stuff you can come up with they post they're fucking assassins... it would be more beliveable that some dindu actually post here claiming that white women prefere black dicks or bullshit like this

How many gigs do you get a year? How much money do you actually make a year? Fuck if the money is that good i'll be a hitman too. Sign me up

>>722693802
Not him, but there is something called forensics.

All weapons can be traced one way or another, scraping the serial just makes it harder but it's still somewhat possible.

The better way to remain free is to leave as least evidence as possible.

>>722694025
My cat just drowned dude, not funny. #HateSpeech

>>722694149
nah hes here

>>722694124
Describe your first kill

>>722694163
>artistic works of fiction
why are there so many autistic faggots who hate rp and fun, its the only shit that isnt thinly veiled /r/, gay shit, and garbage

>>722694179
Ioi dead cat

>>722694174
how can that tell what weapon killed someone just by shooting someone with it?

Is 4chan a creditable employment opportunity?

This is, honestly, the most interesting thing I've ever seen on here. I have some questions for you if this is your actual line of work.

1. Does this, being an assassin, make you paranoid at all? Do you fear that someone out there knows who you are and is out to get you?

2.Did you go to college/what is your highest level of education?

3. Favorite flavor of ice cream?

>>722694527
watch some CSI newfag

>>722693571
Ninja swords are useless. Would never touch one. Just use a damn cleaver.
>>722693580
SIG Sauer.
>>722693642
Sure.
>>722693722
Fuck yes. Glory days of the 16 bit games there.
>>722693802
Because if you use a weapon more than once they can link jobs together, figure out it's the same guy. If you use it once and ditch the weapon, there's no evidence. If I ever get caught for one, I won't get caught for the rest of `em.
>>722693808
People who know too much, whistleblowers, people who are developing something that will seriously hurt their industry, people who stole money and got away clean, personal hits.
>>722693958
Work for a 'private security' firm and hint to your boss that you're okay with wetwork.
>>722694016
Compensating for something?
>>722694019
I'm not in HR.
>>722694025
Craigslist.
>>722694087
Almost busted once. Got caught before I ditched the gun - but it was New Years. I apologized for firing it off, got a fine, got outta there. And no.
>>722694110
Nah. I have some standards.
>>722694116
Alt+Print Screen, then paste into Paint.

>>722694453
HOW DARE YOU LAUGH LAUGH AT PIXIE #RIP

>>722694684
Adding to that, would you kill a child? EVEN if he/she was 11?

>>722691796
no tendie means no life.

Will you ever stop being a Hitman and buy a farm to live peacefully?

Do you think that someday the company will get rid of you?

>>722694433

This faggot

>>722694749
My references are impeccable

>>722694124
Thanks I will have to try the Vis some day

>>722694762
Lol pixie couldn't fly

>>722694124
How do you destroy your guns? How do you dispose of them?

>>722694554
Only if you're Moot.
>>722694684
1. Nah. If they are, I'll die before I know I'm being trailed. And if I ever slip enough to get tailed, I deserve it.
2. Yes. Bachelors in Biz Admin.
3. Mint chocolate chip.

And I'm outta here for tonight. Dream well.

>>722695067
PIXIE NOOO

holy shit this is actually the first thread im willing to stay. I'm staying here till the thread dies. RIP once it does

>>722694749
Can I hire your cat from craigslist?

>>722695150
Thanks for answering the questions!

Night sexy

>>722695150
NOO DONT GOO FUCKCKKKKCKCK
OP IS DEAD

If you get caught is suicide an option for you?

How many languages do you speak?

Have you ever thought in the way that you are going to die? If so, how?

>>722688995
do you wear any form of body armor?

>>722688995
Really quick tell me how to destroy/dispose of guns please :):):)

>>722695378
hes offline

>>722695363
hes off

>>722694749
You should keep the spring from the guns

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>>722693423
Thanks OP, now i got some quality tactics on how to kill
I'll go heat up your tendies

>>722695173
Pixie yesßsssssssss

fuck this is deADDdddDdddddDDdd

>>722688995
Do you enjoy killing people?

>>722696285
lmao op is off

>>722689235
What's the job? Work in netsec but moonlight in other stuff

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How did you get into the mercenary business in the first place?

>>722697434

I have client access to certain platform that is used statewide by the government to take college admission exams, I'd like to know if we could reverse ing the app and generated files so we can make a file generator (and then sell the files to people who want to get into some uni)

Know of any other high-paying illegal jobs?

gags