Depression Thread: What keeps you from just ending it, /b/?

Too pussy to die

lol reading these threads is being like someone who never used heroin watching junkies whine about their next fix.
get over your fucking feelings

>>722563048
The fact that if I died I wouldn't ever get to smoke, drink, or have promiscuous sex with strangers. Sure, life is dull and dreary mostly, but it's the small things that make it worth being alive for.

>>722563248
Retards like you are why people want to kill themselves

>>722563048
Potential.

I haven't an hero because I can't do that to my family. They're the reason I haven't done it yet

>>722563048
I'm a coward that has never finished anything I started.

>>722563349

boo hoo, get a dog. Its an endless source of feelings, poop, and stench

>>722563048
My self preservation and hunger for meaning. It's a cruel game of catch 22

>>722563481
You honestly think someone who's in a depressive mode has the ability to be responsible for an animal when they can barely be responsible for themselves? You must be retarded.

>>722563048
my kids are the only reason I haven't blown my head off

>>722563639

idk, seen some pretty stupid ass people walking around with a tied up dog, picking up its turds as they drop out of its ass. Seems to be the highlight of their life too

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>>722563729
The sad part is you're actually right hahaha

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I would hurt my family more and i am scared of not knowing whats after death.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSU49AFzgtw
This song always soothes me. It makes realize that there is no meaning to anything, but that's okay.

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>>722563048
Anger.

Sheer, raw, fucking cussedness.

I see the world, and I see the bullshit that happens in it. Every. Fucking. Day. I see the leaders that exploit the sheep, the sheep that remain ignorant deliberately, and the fucktards that can't be assed to change a bit of it because The Chew is on in five.

And that's why I can't die yet.

I can't die until I see it all burn.

I can't die until Indiana is consumed with plagues, until the two party system in the US is replaced by 30+ factions with wildly opposing goals, until the cable companies are bankrupt, the porn studios don't exist anymore (replaced by self-employed single performers), until every narcotic is legal, until Cosa Nostra and the Vory and the Yakuza are considered legitimate political parties, until the Pope raises his hands in disgust and says "fuck it, I'm done", until the government of Sealand is considered relatively stable.

BY ALL ACCOUNTS, I AM GETTING THERE.

I have psychosis, depression, social anxiety, dropping out of college, dad in prison, mom a whore, no job, no gf, no entertainment. Im soon bout to kill myself real quick too op>>722563048

>>722563837
Ever been unconscious or in a coma, only to reawaken with no knowledge of how much time has actually past? I'd imagine it's like that, only we never reawaken... Kinda like before we were born.

nothing
im too much of a pussy to go on
i wish i did have a reason to stick around
but i have nothing to offer anyone

>>722564109
You believe in reincarnation?

>>722564176
I don't know, but if we assume it exists, we probably don't retain any knowledge of prior lives, so it doesn't really matter.

>>722564384
depression/suicide threads are my favorite

>>722564384
when you are an infant you have knowledge of previous lives. That's probably why infants will do things like drag extension cords into their crib to choke themselves

>>722564480
LOL wtf

What if we're all just one being and we don't it. Just billions and billions of personalities. We're God

>>722564715
don't know it
fml

>>722563248
Fitting analogy, cause reading reactions like yours is like seeing someone who never used heroin trying to talk along with junkies about what that life is like.

If you had ever been or known someone who was actually depressed, you'd know it's not about your feelings, but the constant absolute lack thereof. When all of your food tastes grey day in day out, you start to get really sick of it after a while. That's what depression is like for everything you do.

>Fucking quadriplegic people, why don't they just walk like me?! It's so easy!
-you

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>>722563352
underrated

this word got me through years of depression

and to all you depressed people, try hypnotherapy, very surprising and has very high success rate

>>722564974
I tried hypnotherapy a couple of days ago but the therapist was some old dude and nothing changed should I try again? did it work for you

>>722563444
Absolutely

>>722564480
>>722564384
Reincarnation does exist, and yes some people remember some things about other lives when they are very little, and some habits stay with the spirit too

For example, I was a monk several times, and I still like to sit down on the floor with my legs crossed (in x)

We come to earth again because we fucked up, and karma is here to make us pay up our debt

Not even joking

Any reikian here?

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>Have too many embarrassing sex toys in my closet, have to throw them away first
>Have to write down my passwords for bank accounts and social media
>Have to actually write a suicide note releasing everyone from guilt

tfw no motivation to live OR die

>>722565266
To add to this, don't kill yourselves, I wanted to too some years ago but then I learned that suicide only resets karma, which means you'll have to wait and reincarnate again, and go through all the pain again

>>722565266
No, im sane.

>>722565538
>misspelling ignorant this hard

>>722565266
So what happens when you beat the reincarnation

INSTEAD OF BEING DEPRESSED, GET THE FUCK OUT AND DO SOMETHING

WE HAVE AN ORANGE FACIST PRESIDENT WHO IS LETTING RUSSIA MAKE WAR AGAINST THE US WITHOUT RESPONSE

>>722565371
What if ur karma is bad? If you kill yourself u cam reset it right? Lets say you are a serial killer. If you live in next live you reincarmate as a stone, if you kill yourself, you cam start over in new live, even if you did bad things in previous karma wont work. Im that sane guy btw.

>>722565689
You start evolving, without the need for a body

Apparently there are a few "levels" after we leave the body, about 7 or so

we didn't start as human right off the bat, maybe not even in this planet

>>722565371
How is taking a vow of silence and meditating all day any different from suicide though? You're just idly anticipating some "natural" death.

>>722563437
same here

>>722565815
that's not how depression works educate yourself faggot

>>722565822
Life hack over here

>>722565909
Do you care about America? You are probably Putin's shill trying to make people feel hopeless while he does the work bin laden could never finish and destroys democracy once and for all

>>722565822
reincarnate as a stone? so how do you continue the cycle stones dont die or live lel

>>722566009
Thats what serial killers get lol. They are fucked.

>>722566000
Where do you get the sources for your information link them pls

>>722565822
It resets your karma to the last point before you last encarnated, but I don't think you can run away from bad shit you do, at least, if you do it consciously

>>722565849
But it isn't natural, you have to go through your shit, pay back your mistakes and then you can proceed

I couldn't be more serious: Suffer now, let your shit end naturaly, so that you can never come back to this shitty planet again

At its worst it was how it would affect my family.

Once I got older and had a job and a little more freedom, I realized I could literally travel down to Mexico and do hookers and blow like they talk about. Not that I would, just that I didn't have anyone but myself to blame for my unhappiness.

Plus, strip clubs are awesome. You can pay girls to give you attention and it really does help. I walked out several times feeling like a million fucking dollars.

I really don't know, but I'm glad someone else is into reincarnation. I would end it, but if I really got to that point where life didn't matter, then why not do what you want to do? Then you think of the things preventing you to do them. Like time, money, and stupid robots taking our jobs now... butt I think there is a soul and it has a purpose, and I live to enjoy that as I did before thinking about stupid things we get caught up in...

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>>722566086

confirmed for Russian shill

I'm fat, feel ugly, slowly failing college since I don't even attend anymore, shitty teeth because I didn't listen to my parents as a kid and also too scared to go to a dentist. Although I'm pretty smart, I don't think I could ever (not that I should) feel superior to anyone. I have a gf (dunno why) she genuinely loves me and I don't think I love her anymore but I'm too scared to break up with her. I lie to all my friends about living stuff that didn't really happen to make myself look ùpre interesting. I also take the role of the goofy/dark humor guy that my friends love but everyday I feel more and more fake. I hate myself beyond repair. I'd like to kill myself but the bit of empathy I have left is towards my family and I don't want to put them in the trouble of seeing me dead and having to deal with everything that'd come from my death.

blogging feels good desu

>>722566138
Lets try it, i will kill, myself rn and tell you in next life if it worked.

>>722563048
my mom, I couldn't go leave her alone

>>722566009
Actually apparently we start as minerals and the alike.. weird but I guess I believe it now

Then you begin to live simples lifes and you grow up to human - if everything goes right you can leave the body and continue evolving, if not karma makes you "pay for it" (it's actually us who decide to come back)

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>>722565815
You do realize that most depressed are too sad to have any interest in the prank of democracy, right?

>>722566221
If you remember sure, just don't haunt me while I'm here faggot

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Taking off my retarded /b/ mask for a serious answer for a second here.

Knowing that I'd hurt people. I'd rather not do that.

>>722563234
atleast youre honest

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Siblings dealing with the shit I had to, that and the fact I haven't got laid in a while.

>>722566138
No I mean what makes waiting for a random unpredictable death any more admirable than one done by your own hand? Why does one get you "good karma" and not the other?

<._.>
|
< >

Family, mostly. I try but it's hard. I've set on getting myself killed somehow, like in the wilderness. Or maybe shooting myself out there, somewhere where the body would be a long way decayed before anyone found it.

I just can't keep going. I'm a genetic dead end, and that's fine but no reason to go on either.

>>722566732
it's not the death itself

Killing yourself is considered being arrogant I guess, because we're just ignorant cunts who think they know it all and that we're the ones deciding everything, so it resets your shit

But the thing is, when you die naturally (or if you're murdered, which also cleans your karma for some reason) you let your life "run free" and solve its business

if you end it now you wouldn't even need to get reseted, you would've been interrupting the karma solving life you chose on this shitty planet, and by doing so, when you go back into pure spirit mode (where you remember all your lives etc) you'll say "not this again" and you'll decide to come back to get yourself cleaned up

>>722566966
I feel the same way, anon. I'm gonna stick around at least until my parents die, so they don't have to deal with their kid's suicide as they enter their last 10-20 years. After that who knows though.

>>722567309
I can see how it might come off as arrogant I guess. So what we should really do is just passively what for this shitstorm to sort itself. No fear, no desire, just blank patience.

>>722567624
passively wait***

>>722567324
Problem with mine is that they had me young, and I've reached this state of mind too young. Barely 20, and they're just getting to their 40s. At least they both remarried and had a second wave of kids to make up for me (and my younger brother probably too).

>>722567624
Pretty much man.. just go through the pain blindfolded and get rewarded in the end

It would help if at least we were born knowing all this shit, that this has a purpose, and that people are actually meant to suffer at least to some extent

Hold on man, this will be over soon and real life starts after this, it's kinda scary I know but trust a stranger, just this once

Hope you can cope with the rest of your life just right

>>722563048
Jerking my dick off. That's what keep me going for so long.

im gonna do it! im gonna fucking end it! take all the fucking pain away!
aw shit im back to square 1

>>722568123
This

>>722567834
Thanks for your input man. Sometimes being exposed to a new perspective is all it takes to step back and get out of the tunnel vision, for now at least. It's easy to get complacent in one's despair and ignorance.

>>722566195
My teeth are perfectly healthy, they look terrible because there is a gap between most of them. Can't afford braces because they're £3500

Ever find yourself slightly covering your mouth when you talk to people or smiling with your mouth shut in photos?

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>>722563048
I don't have to. It'll happen on its own.

Until then, I'm going to enjoy food and the company of my irl friends.

Probably off myself after my parents die. I never see them, but it'd break their hearts.

I'd rather be depressed and live instead of spreading that depression around just because I'm not man enough to tough it out.

>>722563048
ur mom

>>722563048
i still haven't got my dingus wet yet

>>722563048
I have hope that the next day will be better. I take gratitude for any small accomplishments/joyous news

>>722568454
I like you, you're pretty open minded

and no problem, hope you start seeing that there's more than this

I know you'll probably forget this stuff in some time, so try analyzing details

stupid things like the precise perfect balance on earth's rotations and etc, there must be some force, some mother nature or something doing all this (which in reiki we call holy spirit)

The people that are just a match for your tastes, sense of humour, people you loved etc, they came across you not just by chance, what would actually be the chance? People diverge so much, and there are so many, even if they got similiar education and etc because you're in the same country, it's still a low probability that your matches would get to know you randomly

Keep an eye on the details, because I know you probably will forget you're actually a spirit (if you truly believed what I said), stay sharp and you wont lose hope that easily, I hope I actually gave you some hope

All good to you

I've kind of changed my view, it's not what's left, what else will life throw at me. I now view life as a brave Frontier. It's a war in your mind, one worth fighting.

I think my life is slightly turning it self around, started talking to a nice girl who likes me and encouraging me to stream video games during my down time, i also might a job lined up soon so i can start earning some money to actually do stuff and not just wallow in sadness and boredom

>>722563048
I project my loneliness, depression & hatred towards ethnic groups.

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>>722563048
The possibility that someone out of 7 billion people will want something to do with me.

>>722566000
>caring about America
heh good one government

>>722569096
>i can start earning some money to actually do stuff and not just wallow in sadness and boredom
Careful. I found that when I got a job, my life became work, chores and sleep. Month after month would fly by. I'd rather be a poor, sad sap than a mindless robot tbqh.

>>722569980
it was like that at my old job its why i left, ive barely left the house in a year only really left to pick up a few things then come back and sleep or watch seinfeld

>>722563048

my money. i got a settlement from an accident and it sits there in the bank, keeping me alive.

as long as i dont spend it, it will keep me alive, something to have and look at.

>>722563048
I am an angry spirit wrapped permanently around a coil, I literally cannot end it

and in more literal terms I value myself too highly, regardless of any evidence or empirical systems of value, because it's all subjective, and all would subject me to less value than I would myself, therefore everyone else is biased but me, there for I am the most important, and therefore worth not killing

>>722565356
there is no "great beyond"

there is nothing after death


and if there were, it would be worse than life
so avoid it if you can


you chose this

> Finds the perfect thread since depression season starts for me today (always after fucking Valentines day)

>>722570697
>I am an angry spirit wrapped permanently around a coil, I literally cannot end it

What do you mean?

>>722566195
I feel exactly the same way, except im in second semester of my senior year in high school. I feel so bad all of the time and I have no motivation anymore. I hate my girlfriend but I can't seem to break it off, have no friends and my family fucking hates me. I've had a drinking problem for quite some time because my parents leave their beer, wine, and hard liquor around. I don't know what to do and it makes it harder and harder to get out of bed everyday

>>722563048
It aint our life to take jackass. Killing yourself doesn't affect you, you'll be dead and and won't be capable of being upset about it. Although everyone who knows or loves you suffers directly because of you stealing your life from them. I'm not going to tell you to grow up but I will tell you to get help and to learn how to effectively fight it.

>>722566145

>Plus, strip clubs are awesome. You can pay girls to give you attention and it really does help. I walked out several times feeling like a million fucking dollars.

This is why you can't have nice things

I never really got strip clubs. Why would you wanna go and blow lots of cash just to have someone dance for you and maybe rub their titties in your face and shit and not even FUCK for all you give

What a beta ass scene

I wouldn't be so rough on people that already don't want to live but, this >>722571328

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Balls too big. I was fighting depression for roughly 4 years a few seconds back. Towards the end of it I had strongoing suicidal fantasies. It was at that point that I thoughtam be in should just put an end to those that hurt me before I go... but then I didn't want to be viewed as monster (mostly by my son who was taken from me, never had a full relationship with the mom) so I just decided to be the best person I could. Now I have a family with a step son and 2 of my own (1 and 2) a very attractive wife and a great career. Completely turned life around all because I didn't want anyone to get the best of me.

>>722571667
It might be a beta-social thing

They didn't get the pussy when they wanted so now they pay to get teased and never get it still, but now everyone does it and it's fun, so somehow I feel better about my insecurities!

just a theory though

>>722563234

Same

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I don't know. My family I guess. But even then I think that they would be happier without me. I get to the point to where I'm extremely suicidal, start drinking and smoking and becoming disillusioned and nihilistic and right before I grab a gun or careen off of the highway I think "well.. my position is pretty shit, but I am still alive... I am at rock bottom, there is nowhere else to go but up, right?" So then I delay it and start from square one. I slowly start to pick up the pieces and rebuild my life. Then suddenly I realize I am living and functioning as an adult human should and I become overwhelmed by responsibility and obligation. Then I get depressed and anxious again and the cycle repeats itself. Go through this whole scenario about 4-6 times a year for the past 5 years and you have my life after high school.


TL:DR: I'm a huge faggot

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>>722571770
Yeah I might have been a bit stern, but a firm handshake is always more impactful than a limp one

>>722572398
Mind if I go get a tuna+mayonese+corn sandwich?

because it's 3 am and a man gotta eat

>>722572398
>>722572715
I'm waiting for your reply asshole

>>722572398
wow fuck this guy

Weed, and the hope that I will see her again, just for a second..

I hope all of you get better soon, remember this life is only temporary, evolution only really starts after we stop being human

>>722572890
dude go get your fuckin sandwich

>>722563048
The thought of how it would affect my parents.
The most accessible method for me is hanging and I would never want them to hear about me dying in such a horrific way.

There was a video in a feels thread on /wsg/ of a 911 call from a little girl finding her brother after he shot himself and the sounds of her screaming and crying were sickening.

I would never want to put my parents, the only people who support me emotionally, through that kind of despair.

>>722571328
This seems to be the most reasonable thing to suggest. I mean I really only live for the few who are close to me. Some people have done so much and invested so much emotion into me that it would be completely insulting to put them through that as recompense.

My only problem with this argument is that if you have nothing and no one, then what is the fucking point really? Is a friendless, family-less person expected to push on in hopes of create those sorts of relationships some day? Seems a bit too hopeful.

>>722573066
wow finally

>>722573175
get me a coke while you're out asshole

swag

>>722563048

I'm getting married.

>>722573308
Congrats anon

Because I'm studying occultism as a hobbie and aparently suicide is the one of worst thing one can do.

>>722563048
Big trip next year half way across the world. Planning by myself, paying by myself, might be going all by myself too and it's the first time I've been away from my family. It's only 7 days, 9 including travel time, but it's still a big deal for me.

It's a long way coming but I've already changed my whole life around since I decided I was going a few weeks ago. Started working out, reading more, getting up at an early time. It's hard but I keep telling myself it's only til I go, then I can stop and be depressed again afterwards. Hopefully I won't, but who knows. I worry I'm setting my expectations too high.

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I constantly remind myself there are better days. I've had good days. Good months. And I keep going and keep chasing it. I attempted suicide three years ago. I have my days where I think about doing it again. But I'm thankful I didn't succeed. Something I constantly remind myself is that in the end I will get what I want. I will die. There's no escaping it. Might as well endure it. Life really can be fucking magical if you let it. Get off the internet now and again. Go read a book next a river. Talk to an old crazy person. Let yourself be open to things. I have a lot of fight in me. So I keep on going.

>>722573248
hum.. how do I send it now?

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Medication, mostly.

>>722573569
Why exactly? I would like to hear the explanation

>>722573569
why come? i know it's a sin for christians, or catholics i think

>>722573387

Thanks m8

>>722573128
I mean if that isn't enough motivation for you, take solace in that you feel like you want to kill yourself because you are genuinely medically ill. Its caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, an illness. It isn't because you're a shitty person. It isn't because you are worthless. It is because you are sick. When you are that far gone you NEED professional help, treat it with the seriousness you would with any fatal disease or injury and get it seen to.

my gf and music

>>722573812
What do you take anon? I used to take citalopram but a month afterwards I had a grand-mal seizure. Not sure what the actual cause was though. Considering getting back on meds though because the last month has been a complete shitshow.

>>722564108
Please don't bro

>>722563048
A vow I made to myself when I was 11.
I basically decided that whenever I would feel suicidal, I'd seek out social situations and see if that helps. If it doesn't I'll talk about it and ask for help.

take a picture of it and i'll drink the .jpg

Family

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Because life can always get worse but it could turn for the better, wasting my potential is the biggest fear I have so continuing to live is just the most logical thing.

i've been depressed about 9 years. only thing stopping me is an efficient way to do it. need to make sure i actually die

Because I broke up with the girl of my dreams when I moved. A year and a half later, she still doesn't know I love her. I don't want to die without telling her one more time

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>>722569054
+1

>>722574428
smoke

>>722574591
What does that mean?

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The only thing that keeps me alive is my hatred for people who kill themselves. I think they are pussies and should just suck it up, and I don't want that to be me

>>722574708
approval.

>>722574708
He approves of your reaction and gave you one internets.

>>722563437
This

>>722564142
You do have things to offer and I'm sorry the people in your life are doing a shit job of acknowledging that.

But even if that were true and you literally did have nothing, that's it then? You can't learn something, do something, or be something that is worthwhile? It's just supposed to be handed to you and if you have to work to earn your worth, it's better to kill yourself? You could literally find a way to find something to offer others in an hour. And who the fuck cares if you have something to offer others anyway? Start with finding something to offer yourself, like help and a reason to live.

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Guys I kinda need your help. Thanks to anyone that took the time to read this.
Quick background info: I have this friend at uni (she happens to be my only friend at the school) I love her but she didn't want anything serious and just wanted to stay friends. I stayed as a friend and we still talk. She is really into music (mainly jazz) plays the clarinet, flute, and a bit of sax (tenor I think) She also loves to play video games, but just sticks to fps on consoles. We both went to same HS and during their never really talked but were on good terms. Once school started again we hanged out a lot more and she told me basically her life story and shit. She was in band in not only school but outside programs too, and got so into it that her social life went to shit (during school breaks she would just continue in a program or some form of band camp) She is also pretty shy, and she says that she is pretty socially retarded but I usually see the opposite. She is a beautiful woman and does always have some guy on standby with a message, but it would hurt her when someone would just want to talk to her hoping that they could get in her pants. She turns them down and tells them that she would of just liked being friends but a majority of the guys (pretty much all of them) would o off on her and then lose contact completely.
Well in HS she had a bf during the 4 years that was also in the band. He had an ex that would spread shit among the other kids in band and this caused many to see her in a bad light. She was also very competitive so she would already be getting high level positions while still being in a low grade (compared to others in that upper division) and this wouldn't help with her relationship with others.
Her bf (ex atm) was also possessive and would flip out every time she went out with whatever friends she did have. And some cases he did hit her.
Cont.

>>722574964
>>722574971
Oh that's nice

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>>722574845
I think we just like to pat ourselves on the back for not doing it, but we secretly wish we had the balls to go through with it.

MDMA every second weekend

simple, yet effective

>>722565815
What the fuck do you want us to do about it?

>>722563437

True.

>>722575390
where you getting it from anon?

I have so many reasons I should off myself. Alone, wife divorced me, dead broke, no real friends. But I have a beautiful 9 year old daughter that I could never burden with my death. And I had a cousin kill himself and I saw what it did to his mom and dad. I can bear living if it means I don't hurt my family.

>>722575540
some of my friends got a decent supply of XTC and/or mdma crystals. if that doesn't work i will go to a club and buy some to stock up

1g crystals around 30€ and a pille for 5€ each. pills tend to have more than just mdma in them

>>722576865
>Alone
>dead broke, no real friends.

Aren't we all

That's the right way of thinking, props to you anon and I hope everything gets better soon


Hope all of you ITT get better

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maybe if i try it again

>>722571036
what are you faggot, 12? you're too young to know about any of this shit let alone understand a real relationship or be an alcoholic. I call bullshit

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>>722575242
Gonna cont with what going on

Day of graduation her grandfather died, she loved this man so much and had many fond memories of him. She still had to go to graduation because of band. But because of the grandfathers death and guessing work too, her parents weren't able to go. A favorite uncle of hers couldn't make it either because of work, and he felt broken when he got to her house to apologize and congratulate her. She had no one there and after just left the place. She didn't say hi to friends, didn't smile, didn't take a picture, just left by herself after the ceremony.
Over the time we spent in college she lost in touch with some of the very few friends she had in HS. Every person she has met so far here, she has either just not kept in contact with or they would leave when she wasn't interested in them.
She says that I'm the one she trusts the most and that she is sorry that she ever did hurt me because of the rejection or whatever else she thinks she's done. (Will admit it did hurt when she did say that she could only see me as a friend when I did decide to tell her, but I just laughed off all the pain away with her because the last thing she needs is me being pathetic) I played with her in console and I introduced her to the friends that I play with. We all knew each other irl, except this one guy in a diff. state, but we are all a very close group. She hit it off great with all of them, she talks with one of them a good amount recently (ya it hurt but whatever just gotta move on).
She says that when hanging with others she has to hide so much about herself but says that she can only feel like herself with either me or any other of the people that I play with.
She has been doing bad in school and been playing games so much at night that when driving to work the next day she would fall asleep behind the wheel.

>>722576865
>>722577353
i feel you bros

>>722576865
Once you have a kid, suicide is no longer an option. Hope you can manage, friend.

Im a faggot but not a retarded faggot

>>722563048
The thought of what people i love would do if I did do it. Thats what stopped me before. Maybe when nobody knows there'll be a time.

The only form of suicide available to me is hanging, and I'm too pussy to go through with it.

>>722563048
Have a kid

>>722563048
Im going to die some day one way or another, so I might as well just wait until it occurs naturally. I don't believe in anything after death so I might as well enjoy the misery while I wait. I'm curious to see how bad things can get

Being real whenever I get close to ending it I play Blackbird by The Beatles. My mom used to sing it to me when I was upset as a kid, and it still keeps me off that ledge.

>>722563248
Lololililololol ur a cool dud :))) go back to the nightclub chad

>>722563048
the fact that there is no shit after death... its a shitty life, but better that no existing at all.. i will die sooner or later, so why do it my self, probably i can be run over or robbed tomorrow, whatever, im just doing whatever i feel like

>>722577566
Greentext, use it newfag.

>>722563437
Yep

>>722563048
I wanna be famous
>go down in history
>get a higher kill count than bundy

>>722565835
Some pretty big assumptions there cowboy.. did you read this information of some gold plates? Hippy tell you this shit? Smh..

>>722563437
This

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>>722577566
Gonna finally say what happened

Sometime ago we went out for a walk after eating and hanging out. I knew something was bothering her that day but she didn't want to say. We walked for a bit, during the whole time she had her hoodie on and just looked at the floor. She always talks or at least is looking up a bit. I knew something was eating her alive, anyone could tell. We found a bench that was overlooking a majority of the park that we were in. There were many lights around the park and we were able to see some stars. It was 12 and it was quiet. After a bit of silence she started talking about childhood fears and other things that revolve around your childhood. She then told the story of when her grandmother went to get surgery. Her family was driving in the car she currently has with the hood down. It was a bit before sunset but the streetlights were turning on. The sight of the park reminded her of that day.

Then she started crying. She said how she just wants to be happy. She says that there is something wrong with her, she didn't feel like there was something wrong a year ago but now she feels like something about her is just different and it's killing her. She says she doesn't know what's going on or how she even got here (not sure if here is at the college or probably at that point in her life) She was crying softly but it felt so loud. She says that she can't do a therapist, she said that she couldn't even tell me everything and I'm the one she trust the most, and she is scared to take any pills. I tried to help and talk to her, but everything I said she either denounced it or just wouldn't hear it.
Cont.

Runescape

>>722579757
depersonaliztion/derealization? i got it too it fucking kills me

>>722580266
i know that feel gotta get that 99 slayer before i die.

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>>722579757
I might be a cuck or a dumbass for caring this much about a girl that wouldn't give me a chance but I care too much about her and really do want her to be happy. I don't know what to do, I still talk to her, I'm not the best with words and comforting others with them. The best I can do is make her laugh but even that isn't enough at times. I want her to be happy and she says that she is scared to be alone. I know that those times she slept a bit behind the wheel, she would wish that she could just crash. She probably just hunks about ending it all every time she is on her own. I told her that I'm always going to be there and if she doesn't want me she still has the other people she made friends over video games. But I'll still be here for her. I'm not sure if I have to do something different for if I just have to continue with what I'm doing. I'm not too sure what to say at times and sometimes I get scared to say it because of what it might do to her.

I really don't know what to do or say to help her. I really do just want her to be happy and if I have to lose her it's because she we just drifted apart, not because she decided to take the big sleep. I get scared thinking about it.

Thank you to anyone that decided to read this and especially to those that will reply. I hope she's safe right now

Religion

>>722578164
I know of it buddy just never was good at it so I both apologize for not doing it and say "fuck all" if the runon sentences aren't good enough for you

>>722580906
bro you gotta do what they do in the movies look her deep in her eyes. move in for the kiss. if that's too risky then fk that shit

do this instead look her in the eyes and just be straight up with her. "hey anon, I see your life has been going to shit, i dont want to see you unhappy I know were just friends but it bothers me to see you this way. you wanna talk about it.

badabing badaboom of course say everything in a nicer way

>>722580266
>>722577566
>>722573066
>>722573066
>>722568766
>>722566966
>>722565266
most average dubs of 66 on this thread so its a sign just an hero

>>722581385
kek'd

can I sprinkle a whole bottle of sleeping pills on my food and it will kill me?

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>>722563048
Wife, kids, grandkids.

I miss my Dad. I miss spending afternoons fishing or flying model airplanes. Those things just aren't any fun anymore without him.

Someday, when it's my time, we'll be able to do it again. But the wait, and the weight of my responsibilities is killing me.

>>722570599
>>722570299
>>722565899
99 in second

>>722566077
>>722575477
and lucky number 7 gets dub dubs

>>722581374
Haven't tried the kiss yet, might make a note of it. But does intercourse count *ba-dum-tiss*
As for talking I have tried and asked if we can talk about it once but guess she wasn't too comfortable talking about it at the time. Should thought try again and do it in a place more private

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>>722563048
Some girl that i dont know if i can be with i can talk about it if you fags want

>>722563048
I don't live alone and my grandma knows I'm suicidal. If I ordered chemicals online to off myself with, she'd be right on me asking questions about the package that gets delivered. I'm gonna fake happiness for a couple more months (I'm good at that), then when she's totally off the trail and thinks I'm alright -- then I can order the stuff and ingest it without being given the third degree.

>>722581983
Yea it sounds like she's crashing and burning but doesn't want help just yet. If she's in real deep shit then a mental break is near and she's gonna need someone probably family idk if you're close to her like family. Everyone's life is going to shit these days

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>>722565815
i thought tumblrites are supposed to know what depression feels/is
proof that they only use mental and emotional suffering for their own ends

My dog

>>722582693
fk your dog fk quavo fk migo pull up on your block wit a draco

>>722563437
Family and some friends, yes

Hey sorry I'm here late but I just recovered from a pretty serious bout of depression and I wouldn't mind talking to anyone who recognizes that this is an illness and they're trying to better understand their experience of it

If I sprinkle sleeping pills in my food will it kill me

EVERYBODY GET FUCKING BETTER OR I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF

YOU WEREN'T BORN FOR THIS

>>722563904
I can agree with you on that mate, haha. I really do want to watch the world burn that would be absolutely hilarious, and I hope I get to see it in my lifetime and I think its possible, because there has been a lot of build up, up to this point. After it all comes crumbling down only then will i point the gun to my head and die with a grin on my face.

>>722564895
I rate this 10/10 mate, well put.

i'm scared of what it'll do to my family. I need to do something though. Life for me is not fun. I've been hit with the ugly stick and society hasn't been fair to me. I really can't function like a normal person especially since I don't look normal. When I get courage to go out to a bar to meet people, I usually get ridiculed. I can't live without friends and I'm afraid of growing old and dying alone.

>>722585160
post pic wit timestamp

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>>722563048
I kind of drove myself insane in an edgy period of nihilistic thinking.

For about 3 years, I did nothing except for wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, come back home, and research nihilistic theories, the meaning of life, etc. As edgy as it was and is, it truly did make me depressed, so depressed that I considered suicide.

After I realized that something was wrong, I went to a therapist who diagnosed me with Anxiety/Depression, she then prescribed me Fluoxetine, which has drastically increased my mood for the better.

I suggest anyone who feels depressed/suicidal do the same.

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>>722563048
My parents and my sister

>>722585284
no thanks. This isn't the place for it. Besides, I don't need confirmation.

My life is pretty good

>>722563248
Did you ever have friends for longer than a year? Your mom doesn't count.

>>722586162
LOL bitch u ugly

>>722586671
Oh man, so funny. Well that's my excuse for even being here. Wtf is your excuse?

>>722563048
Why walk the plank when you can sink the ship

>>722587083
got psychosis social anxiety no job no gf dropping out of college depression going to kill myself

There's a girl that I love more than anything. I don't have a chance with her, but she's told me I'm one of her closest friends. If I were to do it, she'd be devastated, and that's the last thing I'd want to do to her.

>>722587551
are you ugly?

>>722587768
only when I look in the camera

>>722563048
Dank memes girlfriend my cat

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I put a lot of TLC into my old as shit car. Seeing it every day makes me happy inside for some reason.