/b/, i need help getting laid. I am seriously the fucking worst

also forgot to mention 69 decides what i say

>>722326059
Embrace your inner asshole. Don't appear too desperate - girls can spot it a mile off. Negging works too. Try and turn the conversation around to sex without getting too sleazy. The impression you need to give is that you're interested, but you've got other offers and she isn't that special.

>>722326059
Well seeing as she looks downy and dumb there's no way you can fuck this up. Just pretend you're super interested in everything she has to say and tell her she's hot but be kind of a dick and ignore her for moderate to long periods of time.

>>722326275
>negging works
No. No it doesn't. Negging makes me block guys in a heartbeat.

she's from germany write

zeig mal deine titten du gestörte

that'll make her wet

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>>722326275
>>722326279
good advise team, but i'm literally so artistic i can't actually form the sentences myself. I'm pretty decent at landing it in person but over text i'm fucking shit.

>>722326360
It might not work on you, but it works on a lot of girls. You're not the only girl in the world, sweetheart.

>>722326483
Doesnt work on anyone I know mate.

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>>722326375
i respect a man that gets to the point

>>722326438
Jesus fuck, have we got to hold your hand? OK, for starters, ask her about her tattoos. She designs her own, so ask her where she gets her inspiration from. Tell her you're thinking about getting one yourself. We can take it from there.

>>722326360

Never listen to women for dating advice. Most retarded thing you can do.

"Don't ask the fish how to catch fish, ask the fisherman."

>>722326540
You and your friends must have lots of self-esteem, for which you are to be congratulated. Or you're all so ugly that it's not worth the effort anyway.

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>>722326438
>Mfw I overheard two old ladies talking about how autistic their nephew was, talking all sorts of shit about how difficult it is to deal with autists. Took about 15 minutes to realize she was saying artistic with a lisp.

Just ask her a few questions crack a few jokes, then ask her to go for a drink, don't drag this shit out of youll be bored when you meet her . I doubt she gets much attention so should be easy

>>722326059
lose weight, get in shape

>>722326578
Also don't get a tattoo
>>722326438

>>722327000
Truth is spoken. Check'd

Ask her favourite Pepe as well

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>>722326578
got it boss, will report back if she replies

pic related, me for reference. Now you know why I need help.

take roofies in a park somewhere and hang around some migrants

>>722327116
If you wanna get laid get off of this site and start acting like a fucking man. Seriously, you're asking 4chan for dating advice, get a fuckin' grip dude.

>>722327307
fair advise man, i'll take it into account

>>722326059
Do you want to get laid, or do you want a relationship?

If you want to get laid, get a hooker.

If you want a relationship, it's easier than you think. For starters, just be honest.

"Hey, I'm into you, but for the record, I suck at face to face conversations."

The only reason why negging and all that other PUA bullshit works is because it simulates real confidence. Chicks LOVE confidence, because it means that you like yourself well enough to not give a shit if she doesn't like you in return.

That's it right there. Chicks dig confidence, because confidence is MANLY, and if you can't even tell someone what you are passionately interested in, then you are being CHILDISH.

So, don't pretend to not be that interested in her. Instead, own the fact that if she thinks Star Wars is shit, then you aren't going to have much to talk about when she's in her 30's, so you should drop her ass.

Basically, just be confident about reality.

1) Looks aren't as important as confidence, but like most superficial things, it makes things easier.

2) Not every chick is going to say. And there are plenty you would be happy to say no to. Sex is either fun for everyone, or its only worth having if you pay for it.

3) You don't have to impress girls to be in a relationship. All that has to happen is that they share similar interests and enjoy being around you... whatever that means. If you're sort of autistic, that means they share your interests, don't mind long bouts of silence, and that they don't mind letting you know clearly when you are not respecting boundaries.

You know, normal adult shit.